AN: This fic will have manga spoilers. Probably starting next chapter. Hope you enjoy this silly thing!

Chapter 1: Polar Star Dorm

It was not the stomping of Yoshino's game animals, nor the burnt smell of Ibusaki's smoked creations that woke Souma up.

"AHHHHH!"

Souma sat up so fast he became dizzy. The panic screaming still had not ceased as he flailed in his bed, throwing the covers away and standing up.

"Whoa, wait. Where's the fire?" Souma mumbled, still sleepy and tired from the party last night. The possibility that there could be a fire did not diminish his fatigue, though.

When Souma blinked away the last vestiges of sleep, he found himself staring blankly at a black-haired woman. She met his stare with wide eyes and had a hand over her mouth. There were few tense moments of silence.

Souma decided to break awkwardness. "Uh, who are you?" he asked with a brow raised.

"I should be asking you that," the woman said, accusing. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here," he said simply.

The woman seemed taken aback by his straight-forward answer, stepping back to check the room number on door. "But this is not—hmm, wait a minute. Let me go get Fumio-san so we can clear up this situation."

Souma nodded. "Yeah, please do. By the way, are you a transferee? I haven't seen you around until today."

The woman was looking at him weirdly. "Maybe you are the transferee. This is the first time I've seen you either." She looked out towards the corridor. "You wait here. I'll get Fumio-san." Then she left without another word.

Souma scratched the back of his head before yawning. Weird, it was already a month into the school year, and the academy accepted a new student. That was new. He bent down to retrieve his case of knives from beneath his bed. His hands felt around the floor and met nothing.

"Huh, where did my knives go?" he asked to himself, scratching his head again.

Then a voice coming near his room said, "Senpai? Are you back already? I thought I just heard Ebisawa-senpai scream—AHHHHH!" a red-head he didn't know faced him and began screaming her head off.

Souma's eyes widened and he put up his hands in a placating gesture. "Hey, you people need to stop freaking out when you see me."

A muscular man appeared beside the still screaming girl. "What the fuck is going on? You!" His eyes became steely as he jabbed a finger in Souma's direction. "What are you doing in our beloved senpai's room?"

"But this is my room," Souma said, confused. More students gathered and looked at him in suspicion.

"What's the commotion about?" came the oh-so-familiar voice of Fumio-san. Souma could not believe the day he was relieved to see that old hag had come.

"Old lady Fumio!" Souma greeted, approaching her and hiding behind her. Not that Souma would admit that, but the weirdly tense vibe the group of strangers was emitting was getting kind of scary. "How come you accepted this many people? I thought the dorm's pretty full."

Fumio turned to look strangely at him, similar to that time he'd presented that mackerel burger for his entrance exam. "The dorm is indeed almost full, but I don't recall ever letting you in. Just who are you, kid? And how did you get in this place?"

Souma gaped, which was something he rarely did, because nothing ever fazed him. Well, there's always a first time for everything. "What?" was his intelligent reply.

"Whoever he is, he's a trespasser. Worse, he's in senpai's room," said the first guy who came to the scene.

"Let's tie him up and make him admit what the heck he's doing in senpai's room," shouted another, and nope, Souma was not liking where this conversation was going.

"You know what," Souma interrupted, trying to keep a composed face even though deep down he was reeling. "Why don't I just step out and come back later? Old lady Fumio." He nodded to a still baffled-looking Fumio. "Strange new underclassmen." He nodded to the strangers. They had to be his underclassmen. He didn't know any one of them. He didn't even know there were a lot of transferees this year. Maybe it was an administrative error?

Souma started walking away, calm and dignified, with his hands in his pockets. But when he heard a steamed get him! he started running, not daring to look back but knew he was being pursued.

He reached the flight of stairs to the second floor, taking two steps at a time and succeeding in not tripping only because of his familiarity with his dorm. The shouts of his pursuers followed him and Souma knew they were gaining on him.

Upon reaching the second floor, he turned right, a perfect hiding place popping up in his mind. In his second year, he and his friends in Polar Star had stumbled upon a broom closet that they thought all along was another room. It was a bit larger than the average broom closet and was the perfect place to hide things.

Or himself, at the moment.

He quickly ducked inside the closet, hoping he wasn't seen entering and hid behind a row of mops. Souma could hear the thundering of footsteps outside and tensed when the door of the broom closet opened. There was scuffling before the person searching coughed and muttered about dustiness and spiders before leaving. Souma heaved a sigh of relief.

"Really, what the hell is happening?" he grouched, letting his head hit the back of the closet with a weak bang. He would have banged his head harder, if only to prove that this was a dream he could wake up from, but his pursuers were far too realistic for him to ever risk being loud. No matter how familiar the dorm and Fumio-san seemed to him, the residents were all unfamiliar. And if that wasn't the cause of the uncomfortable clenching inside his chest, then Souma didn't know what was.

Souma flinched when he heard footsteps coming near his hiding place again and then voices.

"Is he in the kitchens?" a guy asked.

"No, he's not in the upper floors either. Damn him. Where did he go?"

A sigh. "Who do you think that is? A transferee? Or a guy from another school?"

"He's wearing a chef's uniform, though. Maybe he's already a pro?"

"What, him? He looks so young. He can't be much older than Saiba-senpai and Doujima-senpai!"

At those words, Souma stiffened. They know Dad and Doujima-senpai? And what the hell did they mean by him being the same age as his old man?!

"Speaking of Saiba-senpai, that trespasser was found in sleeping in senpai's room, right?"

"Yeah, by Ebisawa-senpai. You think that trespasser came here to stalk Saiba-senpai?"

For a moment, Souma almost let out a shout of indignation at the cruel insinuations. How the heck was he supposed to stalk his own dad? But then his mind reeled at the implications. He took a deep breath and started to concentrate on the facts known to him at the moment.

He was in the Polar Star dorm, but the residents were not his friends. Fumio-san was here, but she didn't seem to recognize him at all—or rather, she acted like she had not met Souma before. And then Souma addressed the elephant in the room; or in the dark closet, where he was currently facing the biggest crisis of his life.

His dad and Doujima-senpai had been mentioned as senpai by these strangers, who did look like mostly first years; they were wearing the standard Totsuki uniform and had that wide-eyed innocence that his own underclassmen had when they'd arrived at the dorm. If their words were true, then his dad and Doujima somehow… became young? Huh, is that even possible? But that did not explain the strange new residents.

"C'mon, let's check the rooms downstairs. Maybe he's hiding in the laundry room or something."

Footsteps echoed and faded as his pursuers probably turned around the corner. Deeming the area safe, Souma stepped out of the broom closet and winced when he felt his leg cramping up. To make matters worse, he heard new footsteps coming up from behind him, from the opposite direction of where the strangers before had left. Just his luck to have a cramped leg now of all times.

Souma quickly glanced around. He would not make it to the broom closet with his leg. Room 203 was on his left, and he briefly remembered Yoshino having the room this year. And if he remembered correctly, her window led to the terrace of the storage house standing at the back of the dorm. If he used that window to go hide in the storage house….

Well, whatever works. Souma hobbled into Room 203 and gently closed the door behind him. Contrary to his expectations, the room was not filled with deer or goats, not even hay or grass or whatever Yoshino fed her animals. It looked like it still belonged to a woman, though, if the teddy bears and the pink bulletin board above a study table were any indication.

As he neared the window, another pink thing caught his eye. It was not the color that made Souma stopped in his tracks. A calendar stood at the study table. Souma would have passed by such a thing any other day, but the largely printed numbers of today's date made him think huh?

It clearly said: 26 May 1992

"You gotta be kidding me," Souma said, his eye twitching. He swore he could almost hear Takumi yelling at him, "You idiot, Yukihira! It's not your dad and Doujima-senpai that changed. It's you! You went back in time!" If Takumi were present, he would have questioned the rationality of that statement.

But, huh, how else would Souma explain the weird things happening since he woke up this morning?

Well, there was only one way to find out. Ask the strangers if he could meet his dad—and then make them to take him to the nearest hospital. This thing was just too weird.

As if on cue, the door slammed open, startling Souma. Before he could even run though, two of his pursuers had restrained his arms, holding them behind his back like he was some kind of criminal.

"Hey, what're you doing? Lemme go," Souma demanded, but he did not struggle against the hold. Couldn't they see he was a victim here, dammit!

A redheaded woman pointed a finger at him and said, "I knew it. You're here to spy on our Elite Ten residents. First, Saiba's room. Now, Ebisawa's. We're so taking you to the police. C'mon, guys."

"Hey, wait, that's not fair," Souma argued. Still, he let himself be led out of the room and down the stairs. "At least, let me explain myself. I'm as clueless as you guys are about why I'm in this place—time, whatever the heck it is. Ahh, I don't know anymore. I just wanna go back home and cook," he whined.

One of the guys restraining him from behind spoke up. "So you're a cook, huh? A student? What school?"

"Uh, Totsuki Academy?" It came out more like a question than an answer.

There was silence then the strangers looked at each other and nodded.

"Yup, you're not just a stalker. You're also crazy. How can you be a Totsuki student when it's already May and you're clearly too old to be a first year," the redhead huffed.

"Um, because I'm already a third year?" Souma suggested. They just ignored him. And one guy muttered crazy bastard. Souma bristled. Hey, he was called many things—especially by his friends—but never a crazy bastard.

They reached the common room where the black-haired girl he first met and Fumio were waiting, both of them looking at him suspiciously.

However, before anyone got to say anything, the front door opened. A man shouted, "We're hooome!"

Then, coming into where they all gathered was a sight that Souma was not prepared for—even though he was somewhat somehow wrapping his head around his situation.

For the second time that day, Souma's mouth dropped open as he took in the form of his father and his father's best friend, looking young and in Totsuki uniforms.

"You have gotta be kidding me."