The End is near here is the last part of To Love Again. I wrote this story over a year ago it was my first Gwtw fic. And I must say that it was one of the best I've wrote so far. Or at least I believe it to be. Of course the only thing I dislike about the story is I was following both Movie and Book during this story. I only did this because I didn't have the Book at the time. But if I had then I wouldn't have wrote this story so I guess it was better that I didn't.
Thanks to everyone who has replied to this story here and before when I first posted this. I hope that everyone who has read this was either smiling at how cute of the story was or had tears in their eyes as they shared Rhett and Scarlett pain of losing their daughter and best friend.
Well that's enough from me here is the rest of To Love Again.
Sw
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Scarlett knew Mrs. Meade, and Mrs. Merriwether, were in her setting room with her mother-in-law. The old busybodies just were dying to see the newest Butler. In a few minutes they would be up to see her and Gerald. One good thing about being on bed rest Scarlett, thought she could fake being tired in order to get rid of the 'old cats'.
Gerald who was sound asleep in Scarlett's arms moved his lips dreaming of eating no less Scarlett thought smiling. Scarlett found she never tired of looking at Gerald. It was like he was he first born child. This was the way she should have acted when Wade, Ella and Bonnie, had been born. Scarlett clearly remembered this was the way Rhett had acted when Bonnie was a new born. The simply way Gerald, would discover his hands or feet amazed Scarlett greatly.
Rhett of course was no different he loved holding and watching Gerald as much as she did. Anytime Rhett was home, he was laying next to her in bed. They would pass Gerald between each other. It was hard to believe five days ago Gerald hadn't been part of their lives.
Harder yet, was when Wade, and Ella, would come into Scarlett's room to play with their baby brother. It was than Scarlett would notice Bonnie's absence. She should have been here, her blue eyes looking into those of her baby brother's. Bonnie had been a mini her, just as headstrong, and stubborn. Looking back now Scarlett would forever remember her daughter on her pony Mr. Butler waving and, calling for her to watch her take the next jump.
Tears again it seemed as if Bonnie and tears went together anymore. That wasn't fair to Bonnie; she never liked to see anyone cry. Her little soft curlys bouncing around as she ran up the stairs the day Rhett and she returned Scarlett would always remember that as well. Bonnie seemed now like an angel to Scarlett who for a short while they were granted to have in their lives.
Had her mother Ellen O'Hara felt the same way about her three sons she lost as Scarlett felt now? Scarlett had to admit holding Gerald did ease the pain of losing Bonnie but it never took it away. For unlike Scarlett's brothers, Bonnie had lived for five years. Scarlett, and Rhett, along with everyone else who knew Bonnie had to deal with the loss of her smiles, giggles and just her presence it's self. That loss was a giant hole in the Butler house.
Now that Scarlett wasn't worried about hurting Gerald, with her grieve it was time to let it out, only Scarlett let out a moan as she heard Miss Eleanor and the old cats as there voices carried down the hall. Scarlett's plan for a good cry would have to wait until later.
*~*
"Gerald found his hand last night, and soon after it went straight into his mouth." Rhett said smiling as he stood before Bonnie's grave. He like always had visited here everyday. But only found this last week a few moments time each day. Rhett hadn't forgotten about Bonnie, no if anything spending all his time with Scarlett, and Gerald, made him miss her more.
Being around Gerald filled a void in his heart Bonnie's death caused. When his son would open his eyes, Bonnie's eyes the world seemed almost right again.
While Rhett knew Scarlett had wanted Gerald for the beginning to see her show, love and, affection to their baby son amazed him. Scarlett had never been one to like babies not even her own. Now you couldn't pry Gerald from her arms. Rhett smiled to himself as he pictured Mrs. Merriwether, and Mrs. Meade, standing by Scarlett bedside wanting to hold his little pirate. Scarlett would smile and hold Gerald up, but she wouldn't allow him to be touched. The only person Scarlett shared, Gerald with was him, and that was only because he was the father, and wouldn't have it any other way.
"Bonnie, I wish you could see your Mother now. She won't let Mammy near Gerald unless it's to give him a bath or change his clothes. And you Grandmother fights Mammy to do half of those things." Rhett said, with laughter in his voice.
"As soon as your Mother, gets off bed rest I pity poor, Mammy she won't get not time with Gerald at all." Rhett said looking at the headstone that held his daughter's name.
The first time Rhett had come here after Gerald birth t had been difficult. Rhett had prided himself on the fact he always told Bonnie everything he would have if she had been alive. Sometimes he actually believed she could hear his words and smiled down upon him. Before Bonnie's death, Rhett hadn't believed in heaven or hell after he knew there had to be a heaven because that's where Bonnie was. But that day as he stood before her grave and told her about her brother's birth Rhett understood tat he sounded happy. He shouldn't though here he was at his daughter's grave sounding happy that was cruel.
Only it wasn't for at that second he remember Bonnie's smiles as she asked when the baby would come. Bonnie would want to know these things, so with that in mind Rhett would come everyday and tell Bonnie tales of her baby brother.
"I miss you, Bonnie." Rhett said as he ran his fingers over his daughter's name. "So does your Mother" Rhett found his eyes full of tears he wouldn't cry anymore. Bonnie wouldn't want that." Ella and I went to the park yesterday. We walked your kitty cat around. Ella had named her Blue those two have become best friends." Rhett stopped trying to think of something to mention about Wade.
"Wade, is already talking about all the things his going to teach Gerald, when he gets older."
Rhett turned as he heard footsteps behind him. Standing there was Ashley Wilkes the man had a lost bewildered look to him. His eyes held nothing but sadness in them.
Rhett at first held his tongues not sure if Mr. Wilkes wanted company are not?
"Captain Butler" Ashley said as he came to stand beside him. He had been surprised to see Rhett here. Ashley had thought Rhett would be home with Scarlett and their new baby.
"Mr. Wilkes" Rhett replied kindly. Since Gerald's birth, Rhett found his jealous over Ashley all but disappear replaced with pity for the gentleman who had lost his whole world for the second time. The first had been when the war ended. Of course his promised to Melanie always played on his mind as well.
"I didn't expect to see you here Captain Butler, I thought you would be home with your new born son." Ashley said trying not to let the sight of Rhett standing before his daughter's grave bring tears to his eyes, gentlemen didn't cry.
Rhett turned to look at Ashley the man was broken it was clear to see and hear in his voice." I would there now but Mrs. Merriwether and Mrs. Meade or paying Scarlett and my Mother a visit. Both I'm sure want to see Gerald for themselves."
Ashley smiled and it had warmth behind it he hadn't felt in many months. "Gerald Butler that's a fine name. I'm sorry I haven't called on your house to congratulate you on your first born son." Ashley said remember Beau's words earlier that morning about how the baby looked just like Rhett. "But I don't think it would be very good for Scarlett to see me like this...After everything you both been through you deserve this happiness....Not some half crazy man around scaring the baby."
Rhett nodded his head not knowing how to reply to Ashley words. Deciding the best thing to do was change the subject Rhett asked "How is the Mill doing?"
"It's doing well" Ashley answered hoping his words were true he hadn't been to the mill all week, after hearing the news of Gerald's birth. It brought up all the memories of Melanie wanting another baby so badly it cost her, her life.
"Captain Butler, are you still planning on taking Scarlett on that trip to Paris?" Ashley asked remembering how Melanie had thought it had been a wonderful idea.' Scarlett needed to get away go someplace where she could forget all the pain.' had been Melanie exactly words.
Rhett hadn't forgotten his promise to Scarlett. Only new he wasn't sure if Scarlett wanted to go or not. She hadn't mention Paris since Melly died. But now that Gerald was around Scarlett beamed happiness perhaps she didn't need the promise of Paris any longer to cheer her up?
"If Scarlett still wants to go. Yes."
Ashley looked at Rhett and saw the man who Melanie always had. Next to him stood a gentleman even if he didn't want to be one Rhett Butler was one to the truest forum. If he was your friend there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for you, you need only asked. Mr. Wilkes had never before been able to see what Scarlett saw in her husband until now. Captain Butler had spoiled Scarlett rotten. If she wanted anything all she had to do was ask and Rhett would more heaven and earth to get it for her.
"I must be going Captain Butler, India and Aunt Pittypat or probable holding lunch for me." With the tip of his head Ashley was gone leaving Rhett alone wondering if their conversation was that start of a new found friendship?
*~*
Mammy had just giving Gerald his bath and Scarlett kissed his forehead. Gerald's little hand grabbed a lock of Scarlett's hair and he merrily began pulling it. Scarlett who if anyone dare had done such a thing to her other then Gerald would have slapped them silly just laughed at her small son.
Mammy just shook her head and smiled at Scarlett it id her old heart good to see her lamb happy again. Whatever power Gerald held over Scarlett, Mammy hoped it never faded. From the moment Scarlett learned of his coming, she had changed and for the better. The only down side to this was Scarlett wouldn't let Gerald out of her sight for a second. Remembering Wade, and Ella, were getting ready for dinner Mammy headed for the door, Scarlett was going to need her dinner tray sent up.
"Alone at last" Scarlett whispered into Gerald's little face as she pulled her hair out of Gerald's hand. "Between Mammy and or company this afternoon I thought they never leave." Why people couldn't take her hints about leaving her alone with Gerald she'd never know?
"What did you think of Mrs. Merriwether? Before I married your father she tried to talk me out of it....I almost laughed out loud when she was telling your Grandmother what a fine gentleman your father is." Scarlett said not even trying to stop the giggles from reaching her lips. Gerald smiled back at his mother.
"Fine gentleman... Oh what a hypocrite that old bag of wind is." Scarlett said as she lovingly hugged her baby. While most women wouldn't dare say things like she just had in front of a child. Scarlett felt Gerald deserved to hear the truth that and he is after all five days old he wasn't going to tell anyone.
"Did you see Mrs. Meade's eyes go wide the moment she saw you?" Scarlett asked Gerald as if he could answer her. "She's another old bag. Believing all of India's lies. Speaking of India Wilkes that's one person who's never allowed in this house." Gerald being anew born needing his sleep started to close his eyes as Scarlett finished her tantrum. "Now who am I going to talk too?" Scarlett asked her now sleeping son.
"You can always talk to me." Rhett said slowly walking towards mother and son. Having heard their whole conversation Rhett couldn't help but have a smile of amusement on his face. Scarlett had never told him about Mrs. Merriwether attempted at stopping their marriage.
"How long were you at the door, Mr. Butler?" Scarlett asked she was on to her husband. There was nothing Rhett loved more than to eavesdrop on her. "Not long" Rhett replied as he took his usually spot of the bed next to Scarlett.
"I agree with you on Miss Wilkes. I don't want her setting feet in this house again either." Rhett said holding his arms out. Scarlett who hadn't decided if she was anger at Rhett or not gently handed the sleeping Gerald into his father's waiting arms.
"How was your day Mrs. Butler?" Rhett asked smiling down at his son. It was ashamed Rhett thought he wasn't able to get home sooner. If only he hadn't stopped off at the bank. Being got for the last week had left allot of paper work that needed his attention. Rhett knew the next time Gerald woke up it would be for food. So he was content just holding his sleeping son.
Scarlett watched Rhett kiss Gerald forehead mischief played across her face.
"Don't play dumb with me Rhett. I know you were eavesdropping on Gerald and me." Rhett turned and looked at Scarlett giving her his half frown then broke down and Scarlett heard his laughter.
"You've caught me my pet, what is my punishment for such as my crime?" When Scarlett didn't answer right away Rhett chuckle and moved Gerald to his right arm as he then grabbed Scarlett with his left.
Resting her head on his chest Scarlett sighed. Sometimes the slightest touch of his hand burned Scarlett with passion. A passion she couldn't restrain and never had before Rhett awoke it within her. "If this is to be my punishment I must eavesdrop on you more often my love." Rhett said his chin setting on her head.
Scarlett lifted her head to look into Rhett's eyes." If that's the way you want it, you know Rhett two can play at that game?""
Rhett's laughter filled their bedroom and Gerald stirred in his father's arm." Shhh...And less you want to wake Gerald up" Scarlett whispered with a finger over her lips. "If I did?" Rhett asked looking into his son's still closed eyes.
"Then by all means keep laughing. Only when Gerald wakes again he's going to want fed. So you won't get to hold him." Scarlett stated lowering her head once more onto Rhett's chest.
Rhett looked from Scarlett's head to Gerald in his arms. At this quiet second he had both people he loved most in the world in his arms. Not wanting this moment to end he sighed and enjoyed the feeling of Scarlett's arm wrap around his waist. "Since you caught me Mrs. Butler, would you mind telling me why you never mentioned your conversation with Mrs. Merriwether to me?"
Scarlett bit her lower lip as the answer came to her mind. It had been another lifetime ago now. She had been marrying Rhett for his money. Only that never had felt right looking back now Scarlett knew it wasn't. When Rhett had asked her to marry him, she had refused and had no mind to change her answer. When he kissed her then, demanded her to say 'Yes', something inside made her whisper "yes". Looking back Scarlett knew, now why she had agreed to marry Rhett. She had been in love with him almost from the moment she laid eyes on him.
Rhett being a cad made it impossible for her to admit those feelings even to herself. While she had never been a Lady and never would. Scarlett had been brought up to always believe she would marry and only love a gentleman. So she had called her undying love, fondness and real fondness, undying love. Thank the Lord she had realized her mistake before it was to late.
"I'm not sure why I never told you Rhett. I guess after Mrs. Merriwether stormed away it never crossed my mind until today." Scarlett said truthfully. A smile on her lips as the older woman's face filled with fury appears in her head.
"I'm shocked Scarlett, I didn't know Mrs. Merriwether like you well enough at that time to warn you against me." Rhett mockly laughed.
Scarlett allowed herself a giggle in responds to Rhett's words but quietly she didn't want to wake Gerald. "Well after I informed her I would marry you even if you fought with the Yankee's she never liked me again." Scarlett said thinking about the look in old lady Merewether's eyes this afternoon. The woman still didn't like her it was plan to see.
Rhett heard the bitter tone and Scarlett's words. He could help blame himself a little over the years repairing his reputation he had blacked what was left of Scarlett's. At the time he wouldn't have cared if the whole of Atlanta hated Scarlett. Now having Scarlett's love he regretted his actions. He was the one who had helped Scarlett cast aside her reputation. Always telling her to say and do as she pleased. All the while trying to trap her into his bed. No matter how hard he tried Scarlett hung to never being anyone's Mistress. In the end he had fallen into his own trap. And despised Scarlett for listen to his earlier words the second Bonnie was born.
His anger over being tossed out of their bedroom fed the fuel that was his fire. Rhett could now look back and see the bitterness that had caused him to assault Scarlett's character as a mother. Loving every dirty look Scarlett received, if she wasn't going to act the part of wife he could have cared less how she was treated.
Leaving those three months had been a heaven sent. Bonnie got to see some of the world and he got to spend time with her, showering her with gifts and showing her new places. Scarlett had changed as will during those months.
The first few minutes of his return both he, and Scarlett, had pushed each others buttons not wanting to get hurt. Then as Scarlett had started to fall by some miracle he reached out and caught her. She had cried in his arms for want felt like hours telling him in between sob how she wanted this baby. A smile had come to his face then, she wanted his baby. Carrying Scarlett to her bedroom he had confessed himself to wanting their new baby as well. Gerald had brought them together even before his birth.
Somehow, Rhett thought ' I have to restore Scarlett's reputation.' It was much easier to destroy then rebuild. Rhett had already won his own back in Atlanta, but that had party been with Bonnie's help and blacken Scarlett's own. When his Mother left in a few months Scarlett wouldn't have anyone to call upon or anyone to call upon her. Melanie had been Scarlett's only tie to the old cats. With her death Scarlett would be alone. If it wasn't for his Mother presence she would already be that way.
"Scarlett?" Rhett asked so deep in thought he hadn't noticed she had fallen asleep in his arms.
Scarlett who had just closed her eyes for a second opened them at hearing Rhett say her name. "Yes" a sleepily Scarlett answered.
"I was wondering if there is any reason why we live here year round?" Rhett asked now that Scarlett had gotten over her crush on Ashley perhaps they could pick up and see the world as he always longed to show Scarlett.
Scarlett hummed to herself as she decided if she did indeed need to live here all year long. Tara was well cared for Will would always see to that. The Mill and Store, Rhett could always find someone to run. Trusting Rhett as she did anyone he chose wouldn't steal from them. Rhett had a gift to read people and tell you want they were thinking, something till now had worked on Scarlett's nervous. Besides the thought of getting away from this city and the people who hated her had its charm. More then all that was the fact she wanted to make Rhett happy as happy as he always made her.
"None that comes to mind" was Scarlett's heart felt responds.
Chuckling to himself Rhett kissed Scarlett's forehead happily. "I thought we could start our first trip when Momma, returns to Charleston will go with her. From there to Paris." Rhett stated as he felt Gerald stir in his arm."Oh...Paris really Rhett?" Scarlett asked dreamily as she set up looking down into his face.
"Of course you silly girl. Didn't I promise t take you thee after Gerald was born?" Rhett asked as he took set up smiling at Scarlett's expression of pure joy.
"Yes you did I should have known you've never broke a promise to me. But after everything that's happened you haven't mention it in ages." Scarlett babbled almost in the same fashion Ella would when she was happy.
"I wasn't sure if you still wanted to go are not? Seeing your reaction my love a blind person could tell. You shall indeed have your trip to Paris." Scarlett kissed Rhett quickly on his lips and smiled a smile that he had never been allowed to see before one of total love and devolution. Scarlett had never not in her many years of love for Ashley ever looked at him once like she now looked at Rhett.
"You're so good to me Rhett; I don't deserve you or your love. But I'm never going to let either go." Before Rhett could reply Gerald let out a small cry. His blue eyes opened and he turned his head, Rhett knew looking for Scarlett. "Our son milady" Rhett teaseling said then gave Scarlett, Gerald.
Moving away from his wife and son, Rhett smiled watching Scarlett getting ready to fed Gerald. "Where are you going?" Scarlett asked as Rhett left their bed.
"Gerald reminds me it's dinner time. I thought I would go down stairs eat with the rest of the family and bring a tray up for you afterwards." Rhett said as he stood before Scarlett.
"Alright, but do hurry I'm starved." Scarlett replied as Gerald started sucking. Rhett just shook his head clearly amused with Scarlett's behavior.
"Don't let anyone even tell you Gerald, that your father isn't smart. He knew the only way he was getting out of this room was to promise me food." Scarlett whispered to her son as she rubbed his dark haired head.
*~*
*Three Months Later*
"Tomorrow were leaving for Charleston. Once there were heading to Paris. We asked your Grandmother, but she doesn't want to come along with us." Scarlett said, she was on her knees before Bonnie's headstone. This was the first time since Melly's funeral she had visited Bonnie's grave. It wasn't that Scarlett had wanted to come she had everyday. But it had been a month before the doctor had let her leave her bed. Then Ella had gotten sick and Scarlett was the only one who could make her feel better. Then Scarlett found Rhett was killing himself looking for a manger for the Mill and store one they could trust.
This was made harder because Rhett was keeping both places running. Of course Scarlett couldn't stand for that, when Rhett would get home at night he barely held his head up. So she pleaded with Rhett until he once again let her ran the store until a manger that was acceptable could be found.
The Mill was a touchier' subject they couldn't hire a manger to govern over Ashley that was his job. If only Mr. Wilkes wasn't such a book worm and had a head for business. Rhett had first decided to sell Scarlett's half of the Mill to Ashley once getting her blessing of course. But his promise to Melanie kept him from making a fool of her beloved Ashley. The man would run the Mill into the ground in a matter of months. Scarlett had laughed in his face when he gave her, his reasons for keeping the Mill.
Ashley had solved their problem this morning asking if he could buy their half of the Mill. Scarlett had agreed before Rhett could say a word edge wise.
Scarlett wanted to break free of Atlanta and all things that held them here. After Ashley had left Scarlett knew from Rhett's eyes he was very displeased with her. That's when she babbled out her idea if indeed Mr. Wilkes ran the Mill into the ground as they knew he would. They could always buy lumber from Ashley themselves. Rhett had just laughed at her idea and asked in jest "What I'm I supposed to do with all that lumber?"
So with their financial affairs settled Scarlett knew their was only one things she had been delaying to do that was visiting Bonnie's grave.
Rhett had wanted to accompany her, but Scarlett had declined. She needed to do this alone. Besides once she had placed Gerald in Rhett's arms he was glad to see her on her way.
Seven long months had past since that dreadful day Bonnie took her fall. In those months since that awful day Scarlett had felt unbearable pain and uncontrollable joy. Melanie's death had hit her hard as well. Then Gerald's birth had helped heal her heart, but there still was a hole where once Bonnie would forever filled with her smiles and soft kisses on his cheek.
"Bonnie, I want you to know just because your Daddy and I, are going away doesn't mean were forgetting you. That could never happen." Scarlett stopped as tears ran down her face. How could she be setting on top of her daughter's grave? It wasn't supposed to be this way. Children were supposed to mourn for their parents not the other way around. "Oh, Bonnie...Why wasn't I a better Mother to you?" sobs filled the air. "Two months was all I got to show you how much I loved you"
Scarlet found herself falling to pieces everything else in her life she could take. Always was she needed elsewhere. This time was no different she had to put Gerald first. Now seven months later guilt at putting this day off ate at Scarlett as well. But like always she hadn't had a choice. Tears strained her face moreover Scarlett didn't care all she wanted to do was cry until she had no tears left.
Closing her eyes Scarlett could see Bonnie smiling at her in her mind's eye. She was riding on her pony looking so happy giggles as Mr. Butler took a jump. Their wasn't any fear in her blue eyes as her pony took another jump. This was how Bonnie would want to be remembered. She had loved her pony as if he were a house pet. Tears escaped Scarlett's closed eyes.
Hopefully Mr. Butler was in heaven with Bonnie now. After Bonnie's death Rhett had shot her pony, Scarlett at the time agreed with his actions only now did she regret that. Bonnie wouldn't have wanted that but Scarlett's deep hatred for the pony matched Rhett's that would never allow Mr. Butler to live when Bonnie had not.
Opening her eyes Scarlett was shocked to see a handkerchief before her eyes.
"I must say Scarlett; you never seem to have one of these when you need it." Rhett said as he held out his handkerchief for his wife. His tone was one of jest but his eyes told a different story. One of sadness and understanding.
"Why would I ever need my own handkerchiefs, when you always seem to provide me yours?" Scarlett asked taking Rhett's handkerchief and wiping her eyes.
"I thought you were spending the day with Gerald?" she asked as Rhett kneed down beside her.
"I was but you see my Mother and Mammy both begged for some time alone with him. Seeing how both aren't coming on out trip I decided to grant their wish." Rhett answered most of what he said was true oh his Mother, and Mammy had asked to spend the day with Gerald but they hadn't begged. Rhett knew Scarlett would need him today even if she didn't.
"That was sweet of you Rhett." Scarlett said as she inspected his handkerchief .Like all those year ago during the war it held RKB at the edge of it this time in blue. Rhett over the years had let Bonnie picked the colors that held his initials. Last year it had been red the year before that black. Rhett knew Scarlett's thoughts ran along the same as his every time he looked at his handkerchiefs. "If you like my handkerchiefs so much I'll have some made up for you with KSB sewed in."
Scarlett smiled up at Rhett he always seemed to want to cheer her up. "No don't" Scarlett replied shaking her head "I wouldn't use them. Beside what excuse then would I have for stealing yours?" Scarlett asked the latter with tears in her eyes. She was trying to put on a brave face. Rhett who always could read Scarlett like a book took her into his arms.
Scarlett gave up her charade and cried on Rhett's shoulder. "I was so awful to Bonnie, I don't deserve Gerald." Scarlett cried as her tears flowed like river.
"She...was...so....wonderful." Scarlett sobbed out between tears. "Shh...Don't talk like that Scarlett. You deserve Gerald." Rhett said as he ran his hand through her hair and down her back. "No...I." Scarlett stopped mid-sentence and pulled away from Rhett so she could look into his dark eyes." Why do you love me Rhett?" she asked completely lost to as of why anyone could love her.
"I've loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I saw your setting there with all your beau's bored to death just looking for something to entertain you." Rhett saw shock fill Scarlett's tear strained eyes.
"Then when I overheard your confessing your love to Mr. Wilkes my heart was sold. I knew I had to make you mine." Rhett was relieved to see his words were getting through to Scarlett she had stopped crying and looked completely shocked by his revelation.
"In the beginning I just wanted you for my Mistress but your refusing that offer made me ran away deciding if you were worth marrying or not?.....Then you married Frank my mind was made up if I ever got the chance again I would marry you." Rhett smiled as he remembered that night he asked Scarlett to be his wife.
"So after we married I hoped to push Mr. Wilkes out of your little mind. But not matter how I tried you wouldn't give. I gave up on you but my heart always pulled me back."
Scarlett's eyes were locked on Rhett's she couldn't believe ears Rhett had always loved her. How could she have never suspect Rhett's love? She had at different times only to find Rhett's cold attitude or actions to prove otherwise. Only know did she notice all those things she thought meant Rhett hadn't loved her were things she herself would have done in Rhett's shoes.
"The night of Ashley's party I couldn't take it any longer. I knew nothing happened between you two but just the thought of how happy you must have been in his arms, I couldn't take it any longer." Rhett saw the pain cross Scarlett's face at the mention of his hurt. "Then after you came down stairs I couldn't let you leave without letting you know what a fool I thought you were. I was drunk and admit thing got out of hand."
Scarlett let tears once more leave her eyes this time over the pain she must have caused Rhett over the years.
"Then when you ran away from me I snapped just once I wanted to love you and be loved like I always knew we could if you would just let down your guard."
Rhett saw Scarlett blush at his words at that moment longed to just hold her in his arms. But he needed as much as she did to be able to look in each others eyes having no secrets between them.
"When I woke and saw you there next. Well half on top of me. I panic and went to Belle's. Where I spent those few days drinking by myself hoping you loved me. But once more my pride wouldn't allow me to come home to beg your forgiveness....When I got home, I was scared to death but once I saw you I found the words 'Oh Hello' come out which looking back wasn't the words after my three days absence you were expecting." Scarlett nodded her head 'yes' and Rhett smiled understandingly. "I had to leave you after that. I couldn't go back to the way things were between us."
Scarlett now understood she had hurt him deeply that morning with her words. But what he didn't know was he had hurt her just as much.
"I'm sorry Rhett, I was hurting too I didn't know where you had been then you came in acting like nothing happened. I thought perhaps nights like the one we just spent were the usually for you" Scarlett put her finger over Rhett's mouth as he opened it to tell her how untrue that was. "I know now I was wrong. But Rhett you always hid the fact you loved me as well as I hid the fact I loved you from myself. I still don't understand how you can love me after everything I've done to you?" Scarlett asked.
"Well believe me there were times I hated loving you. But when I came home with Bonnie and said all those awful things. I was convinced you hated me once again." Rhett took his hand and gently ran it across Scarlett's face. "Then when you were crying in my arms telling me how much you wanted Gerald. I knew you had changed and I hoped that meant perhaps you loved me." Scarlett leaned into Rhett's open hand enjoying the feel of his warmth and love washing over her.
"Those two months before Bonnie's death" Rhett stopped as his own tears joined Scarlett's at Bonnie's name. "You showed love to me and the children. You never need worry if Bonnie knew you loved her Scarlett you proved it to her. You changed before all of our eyes to become a wonderful Mother someone Bonnie looked up too. And someone I'm not afraid to admit to loving anymore." Rhett finished hoping he had gotten Scarlett to realize she couldn't chance the past and that Bonnie had loved her, and knew of her Mother's love. "You know my pet, what they say. If anything is worth having it's worth waiting for. And you my beloved were worth the wait"
*~*
Looking at Charleston's harbor from the boat Lovely Lady. Rhett held Gerald in his arms father and son taking in the sight of Charleston getting farther and farther away.
"I grew up there, Gerald it was always cold and unwelcoming to me. Even before I did anything it was like they all knew I was a scoundrel" Rhett stopped as his tiny son yawned.
"If it wasn't for your Grandmother, I would have never come back. When I did and brought Bonnie with me, you should have seen the change in all the old guard." Shaking his head Rhett looked into Gerald's blue eyes and smiled. "They all accepted me open arms. I was the prodigal son returned." Chuckled Rhett as he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist and a head leaned against his back.
"Rhett you know he doesn't understand anything you've just said?" Scarlett asked as she smelled the scent that was Rhett. She smiled as his scent reminds her of her father's.
"Of course my pet, But as I recall that hasn't stopped you from telling Gerald things as well." Rhett mockingly said as he felt Scarlett let go of him and come stand beside him. "It's beautiful isn't it?" Scarlett asked about the ocean changing the subject from her talks with Gerald.
"I've never seen anything more beautiful" Rhett said Scarlett turned her head and noticed he was starring at her." I meant the ocean." Scarlett said trying not to blush.
"So did I" amusement clear in Rhett's eyes and tone.
Scarlett shaking her head kissed Gerald on the forehead then quickly kissed Rhett's lips. "I'm going back to our cabin, I have a feeling the littlest Butler is going to want his nap soon. I want to get everything ready for it."
Rhett watched as Scarlett walked away as soon as he felt she was out of hearing range he once again began his tale about Charleston and his youth there to a half asleep Gerald.
Scarlett who had stopped and turned her head smiled at her husband and son. The love Rhett felt for her, and Gerald clearly written on his face anytime either was in his presence. The only thought that brought unhappiness into their lives was Bonnie's absence. But just as they had to learn to live without her, they also had learned to love again.
~The End~
Thanks to everyone who has replied to this story here and before when I first posted this. I hope that everyone who has read this was either smiling at how cute of the story was or had tears in their eyes as they shared Rhett and Scarlett pain of losing their daughter and best friend.
Well that's enough from me here is the rest of To Love Again.
Sw
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Scarlett knew Mrs. Meade, and Mrs. Merriwether, were in her setting room with her mother-in-law. The old busybodies just were dying to see the newest Butler. In a few minutes they would be up to see her and Gerald. One good thing about being on bed rest Scarlett, thought she could fake being tired in order to get rid of the 'old cats'.
Gerald who was sound asleep in Scarlett's arms moved his lips dreaming of eating no less Scarlett thought smiling. Scarlett found she never tired of looking at Gerald. It was like he was he first born child. This was the way she should have acted when Wade, Ella and Bonnie, had been born. Scarlett clearly remembered this was the way Rhett had acted when Bonnie was a new born. The simply way Gerald, would discover his hands or feet amazed Scarlett greatly.
Rhett of course was no different he loved holding and watching Gerald as much as she did. Anytime Rhett was home, he was laying next to her in bed. They would pass Gerald between each other. It was hard to believe five days ago Gerald hadn't been part of their lives.
Harder yet, was when Wade, and Ella, would come into Scarlett's room to play with their baby brother. It was than Scarlett would notice Bonnie's absence. She should have been here, her blue eyes looking into those of her baby brother's. Bonnie had been a mini her, just as headstrong, and stubborn. Looking back now Scarlett would forever remember her daughter on her pony Mr. Butler waving and, calling for her to watch her take the next jump.
Tears again it seemed as if Bonnie and tears went together anymore. That wasn't fair to Bonnie; she never liked to see anyone cry. Her little soft curlys bouncing around as she ran up the stairs the day Rhett and she returned Scarlett would always remember that as well. Bonnie seemed now like an angel to Scarlett who for a short while they were granted to have in their lives.
Had her mother Ellen O'Hara felt the same way about her three sons she lost as Scarlett felt now? Scarlett had to admit holding Gerald did ease the pain of losing Bonnie but it never took it away. For unlike Scarlett's brothers, Bonnie had lived for five years. Scarlett, and Rhett, along with everyone else who knew Bonnie had to deal with the loss of her smiles, giggles and just her presence it's self. That loss was a giant hole in the Butler house.
Now that Scarlett wasn't worried about hurting Gerald, with her grieve it was time to let it out, only Scarlett let out a moan as she heard Miss Eleanor and the old cats as there voices carried down the hall. Scarlett's plan for a good cry would have to wait until later.
*~*
"Gerald found his hand last night, and soon after it went straight into his mouth." Rhett said smiling as he stood before Bonnie's grave. He like always had visited here everyday. But only found this last week a few moments time each day. Rhett hadn't forgotten about Bonnie, no if anything spending all his time with Scarlett, and Gerald, made him miss her more.
Being around Gerald filled a void in his heart Bonnie's death caused. When his son would open his eyes, Bonnie's eyes the world seemed almost right again.
While Rhett knew Scarlett had wanted Gerald for the beginning to see her show, love and, affection to their baby son amazed him. Scarlett had never been one to like babies not even her own. Now you couldn't pry Gerald from her arms. Rhett smiled to himself as he pictured Mrs. Merriwether, and Mrs. Meade, standing by Scarlett bedside wanting to hold his little pirate. Scarlett would smile and hold Gerald up, but she wouldn't allow him to be touched. The only person Scarlett shared, Gerald with was him, and that was only because he was the father, and wouldn't have it any other way.
"Bonnie, I wish you could see your Mother now. She won't let Mammy near Gerald unless it's to give him a bath or change his clothes. And you Grandmother fights Mammy to do half of those things." Rhett said, with laughter in his voice.
"As soon as your Mother, gets off bed rest I pity poor, Mammy she won't get not time with Gerald at all." Rhett said looking at the headstone that held his daughter's name.
The first time Rhett had come here after Gerald birth t had been difficult. Rhett had prided himself on the fact he always told Bonnie everything he would have if she had been alive. Sometimes he actually believed she could hear his words and smiled down upon him. Before Bonnie's death, Rhett hadn't believed in heaven or hell after he knew there had to be a heaven because that's where Bonnie was. But that day as he stood before her grave and told her about her brother's birth Rhett understood tat he sounded happy. He shouldn't though here he was at his daughter's grave sounding happy that was cruel.
Only it wasn't for at that second he remember Bonnie's smiles as she asked when the baby would come. Bonnie would want to know these things, so with that in mind Rhett would come everyday and tell Bonnie tales of her baby brother.
"I miss you, Bonnie." Rhett said as he ran his fingers over his daughter's name. "So does your Mother" Rhett found his eyes full of tears he wouldn't cry anymore. Bonnie wouldn't want that." Ella and I went to the park yesterday. We walked your kitty cat around. Ella had named her Blue those two have become best friends." Rhett stopped trying to think of something to mention about Wade.
"Wade, is already talking about all the things his going to teach Gerald, when he gets older."
Rhett turned as he heard footsteps behind him. Standing there was Ashley Wilkes the man had a lost bewildered look to him. His eyes held nothing but sadness in them.
Rhett at first held his tongues not sure if Mr. Wilkes wanted company are not?
"Captain Butler" Ashley said as he came to stand beside him. He had been surprised to see Rhett here. Ashley had thought Rhett would be home with Scarlett and their new baby.
"Mr. Wilkes" Rhett replied kindly. Since Gerald's birth, Rhett found his jealous over Ashley all but disappear replaced with pity for the gentleman who had lost his whole world for the second time. The first had been when the war ended. Of course his promised to Melanie always played on his mind as well.
"I didn't expect to see you here Captain Butler, I thought you would be home with your new born son." Ashley said trying not to let the sight of Rhett standing before his daughter's grave bring tears to his eyes, gentlemen didn't cry.
Rhett turned to look at Ashley the man was broken it was clear to see and hear in his voice." I would there now but Mrs. Merriwether and Mrs. Meade or paying Scarlett and my Mother a visit. Both I'm sure want to see Gerald for themselves."
Ashley smiled and it had warmth behind it he hadn't felt in many months. "Gerald Butler that's a fine name. I'm sorry I haven't called on your house to congratulate you on your first born son." Ashley said remember Beau's words earlier that morning about how the baby looked just like Rhett. "But I don't think it would be very good for Scarlett to see me like this...After everything you both been through you deserve this happiness....Not some half crazy man around scaring the baby."
Rhett nodded his head not knowing how to reply to Ashley words. Deciding the best thing to do was change the subject Rhett asked "How is the Mill doing?"
"It's doing well" Ashley answered hoping his words were true he hadn't been to the mill all week, after hearing the news of Gerald's birth. It brought up all the memories of Melanie wanting another baby so badly it cost her, her life.
"Captain Butler, are you still planning on taking Scarlett on that trip to Paris?" Ashley asked remembering how Melanie had thought it had been a wonderful idea.' Scarlett needed to get away go someplace where she could forget all the pain.' had been Melanie exactly words.
Rhett hadn't forgotten his promise to Scarlett. Only new he wasn't sure if Scarlett wanted to go or not. She hadn't mention Paris since Melly died. But now that Gerald was around Scarlett beamed happiness perhaps she didn't need the promise of Paris any longer to cheer her up?
"If Scarlett still wants to go. Yes."
Ashley looked at Rhett and saw the man who Melanie always had. Next to him stood a gentleman even if he didn't want to be one Rhett Butler was one to the truest forum. If he was your friend there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for you, you need only asked. Mr. Wilkes had never before been able to see what Scarlett saw in her husband until now. Captain Butler had spoiled Scarlett rotten. If she wanted anything all she had to do was ask and Rhett would more heaven and earth to get it for her.
"I must be going Captain Butler, India and Aunt Pittypat or probable holding lunch for me." With the tip of his head Ashley was gone leaving Rhett alone wondering if their conversation was that start of a new found friendship?
*~*
Mammy had just giving Gerald his bath and Scarlett kissed his forehead. Gerald's little hand grabbed a lock of Scarlett's hair and he merrily began pulling it. Scarlett who if anyone dare had done such a thing to her other then Gerald would have slapped them silly just laughed at her small son.
Mammy just shook her head and smiled at Scarlett it id her old heart good to see her lamb happy again. Whatever power Gerald held over Scarlett, Mammy hoped it never faded. From the moment Scarlett learned of his coming, she had changed and for the better. The only down side to this was Scarlett wouldn't let Gerald out of her sight for a second. Remembering Wade, and Ella, were getting ready for dinner Mammy headed for the door, Scarlett was going to need her dinner tray sent up.
"Alone at last" Scarlett whispered into Gerald's little face as she pulled her hair out of Gerald's hand. "Between Mammy and or company this afternoon I thought they never leave." Why people couldn't take her hints about leaving her alone with Gerald she'd never know?
"What did you think of Mrs. Merriwether? Before I married your father she tried to talk me out of it....I almost laughed out loud when she was telling your Grandmother what a fine gentleman your father is." Scarlett said not even trying to stop the giggles from reaching her lips. Gerald smiled back at his mother.
"Fine gentleman... Oh what a hypocrite that old bag of wind is." Scarlett said as she lovingly hugged her baby. While most women wouldn't dare say things like she just had in front of a child. Scarlett felt Gerald deserved to hear the truth that and he is after all five days old he wasn't going to tell anyone.
"Did you see Mrs. Meade's eyes go wide the moment she saw you?" Scarlett asked Gerald as if he could answer her. "She's another old bag. Believing all of India's lies. Speaking of India Wilkes that's one person who's never allowed in this house." Gerald being anew born needing his sleep started to close his eyes as Scarlett finished her tantrum. "Now who am I going to talk too?" Scarlett asked her now sleeping son.
"You can always talk to me." Rhett said slowly walking towards mother and son. Having heard their whole conversation Rhett couldn't help but have a smile of amusement on his face. Scarlett had never told him about Mrs. Merriwether attempted at stopping their marriage.
"How long were you at the door, Mr. Butler?" Scarlett asked she was on to her husband. There was nothing Rhett loved more than to eavesdrop on her. "Not long" Rhett replied as he took his usually spot of the bed next to Scarlett.
"I agree with you on Miss Wilkes. I don't want her setting feet in this house again either." Rhett said holding his arms out. Scarlett who hadn't decided if she was anger at Rhett or not gently handed the sleeping Gerald into his father's waiting arms.
"How was your day Mrs. Butler?" Rhett asked smiling down at his son. It was ashamed Rhett thought he wasn't able to get home sooner. If only he hadn't stopped off at the bank. Being got for the last week had left allot of paper work that needed his attention. Rhett knew the next time Gerald woke up it would be for food. So he was content just holding his sleeping son.
Scarlett watched Rhett kiss Gerald forehead mischief played across her face.
"Don't play dumb with me Rhett. I know you were eavesdropping on Gerald and me." Rhett turned and looked at Scarlett giving her his half frown then broke down and Scarlett heard his laughter.
"You've caught me my pet, what is my punishment for such as my crime?" When Scarlett didn't answer right away Rhett chuckle and moved Gerald to his right arm as he then grabbed Scarlett with his left.
Resting her head on his chest Scarlett sighed. Sometimes the slightest touch of his hand burned Scarlett with passion. A passion she couldn't restrain and never had before Rhett awoke it within her. "If this is to be my punishment I must eavesdrop on you more often my love." Rhett said his chin setting on her head.
Scarlett lifted her head to look into Rhett's eyes." If that's the way you want it, you know Rhett two can play at that game?""
Rhett's laughter filled their bedroom and Gerald stirred in his father's arm." Shhh...And less you want to wake Gerald up" Scarlett whispered with a finger over her lips. "If I did?" Rhett asked looking into his son's still closed eyes.
"Then by all means keep laughing. Only when Gerald wakes again he's going to want fed. So you won't get to hold him." Scarlett stated lowering her head once more onto Rhett's chest.
Rhett looked from Scarlett's head to Gerald in his arms. At this quiet second he had both people he loved most in the world in his arms. Not wanting this moment to end he sighed and enjoyed the feeling of Scarlett's arm wrap around his waist. "Since you caught me Mrs. Butler, would you mind telling me why you never mentioned your conversation with Mrs. Merriwether to me?"
Scarlett bit her lower lip as the answer came to her mind. It had been another lifetime ago now. She had been marrying Rhett for his money. Only that never had felt right looking back now Scarlett knew it wasn't. When Rhett had asked her to marry him, she had refused and had no mind to change her answer. When he kissed her then, demanded her to say 'Yes', something inside made her whisper "yes". Looking back Scarlett knew, now why she had agreed to marry Rhett. She had been in love with him almost from the moment she laid eyes on him.
Rhett being a cad made it impossible for her to admit those feelings even to herself. While she had never been a Lady and never would. Scarlett had been brought up to always believe she would marry and only love a gentleman. So she had called her undying love, fondness and real fondness, undying love. Thank the Lord she had realized her mistake before it was to late.
"I'm not sure why I never told you Rhett. I guess after Mrs. Merriwether stormed away it never crossed my mind until today." Scarlett said truthfully. A smile on her lips as the older woman's face filled with fury appears in her head.
"I'm shocked Scarlett, I didn't know Mrs. Merriwether like you well enough at that time to warn you against me." Rhett mockly laughed.
Scarlett allowed herself a giggle in responds to Rhett's words but quietly she didn't want to wake Gerald. "Well after I informed her I would marry you even if you fought with the Yankee's she never liked me again." Scarlett said thinking about the look in old lady Merewether's eyes this afternoon. The woman still didn't like her it was plan to see.
Rhett heard the bitter tone and Scarlett's words. He could help blame himself a little over the years repairing his reputation he had blacked what was left of Scarlett's. At the time he wouldn't have cared if the whole of Atlanta hated Scarlett. Now having Scarlett's love he regretted his actions. He was the one who had helped Scarlett cast aside her reputation. Always telling her to say and do as she pleased. All the while trying to trap her into his bed. No matter how hard he tried Scarlett hung to never being anyone's Mistress. In the end he had fallen into his own trap. And despised Scarlett for listen to his earlier words the second Bonnie was born.
His anger over being tossed out of their bedroom fed the fuel that was his fire. Rhett could now look back and see the bitterness that had caused him to assault Scarlett's character as a mother. Loving every dirty look Scarlett received, if she wasn't going to act the part of wife he could have cared less how she was treated.
Leaving those three months had been a heaven sent. Bonnie got to see some of the world and he got to spend time with her, showering her with gifts and showing her new places. Scarlett had changed as will during those months.
The first few minutes of his return both he, and Scarlett, had pushed each others buttons not wanting to get hurt. Then as Scarlett had started to fall by some miracle he reached out and caught her. She had cried in his arms for want felt like hours telling him in between sob how she wanted this baby. A smile had come to his face then, she wanted his baby. Carrying Scarlett to her bedroom he had confessed himself to wanting their new baby as well. Gerald had brought them together even before his birth.
Somehow, Rhett thought ' I have to restore Scarlett's reputation.' It was much easier to destroy then rebuild. Rhett had already won his own back in Atlanta, but that had party been with Bonnie's help and blacken Scarlett's own. When his Mother left in a few months Scarlett wouldn't have anyone to call upon or anyone to call upon her. Melanie had been Scarlett's only tie to the old cats. With her death Scarlett would be alone. If it wasn't for his Mother presence she would already be that way.
"Scarlett?" Rhett asked so deep in thought he hadn't noticed she had fallen asleep in his arms.
Scarlett who had just closed her eyes for a second opened them at hearing Rhett say her name. "Yes" a sleepily Scarlett answered.
"I was wondering if there is any reason why we live here year round?" Rhett asked now that Scarlett had gotten over her crush on Ashley perhaps they could pick up and see the world as he always longed to show Scarlett.
Scarlett hummed to herself as she decided if she did indeed need to live here all year long. Tara was well cared for Will would always see to that. The Mill and Store, Rhett could always find someone to run. Trusting Rhett as she did anyone he chose wouldn't steal from them. Rhett had a gift to read people and tell you want they were thinking, something till now had worked on Scarlett's nervous. Besides the thought of getting away from this city and the people who hated her had its charm. More then all that was the fact she wanted to make Rhett happy as happy as he always made her.
"None that comes to mind" was Scarlett's heart felt responds.
Chuckling to himself Rhett kissed Scarlett's forehead happily. "I thought we could start our first trip when Momma, returns to Charleston will go with her. From there to Paris." Rhett stated as he felt Gerald stir in his arm."Oh...Paris really Rhett?" Scarlett asked dreamily as she set up looking down into his face.
"Of course you silly girl. Didn't I promise t take you thee after Gerald was born?" Rhett asked as he took set up smiling at Scarlett's expression of pure joy.
"Yes you did I should have known you've never broke a promise to me. But after everything that's happened you haven't mention it in ages." Scarlett babbled almost in the same fashion Ella would when she was happy.
"I wasn't sure if you still wanted to go are not? Seeing your reaction my love a blind person could tell. You shall indeed have your trip to Paris." Scarlett kissed Rhett quickly on his lips and smiled a smile that he had never been allowed to see before one of total love and devolution. Scarlett had never not in her many years of love for Ashley ever looked at him once like she now looked at Rhett.
"You're so good to me Rhett; I don't deserve you or your love. But I'm never going to let either go." Before Rhett could reply Gerald let out a small cry. His blue eyes opened and he turned his head, Rhett knew looking for Scarlett. "Our son milady" Rhett teaseling said then gave Scarlett, Gerald.
Moving away from his wife and son, Rhett smiled watching Scarlett getting ready to fed Gerald. "Where are you going?" Scarlett asked as Rhett left their bed.
"Gerald reminds me it's dinner time. I thought I would go down stairs eat with the rest of the family and bring a tray up for you afterwards." Rhett said as he stood before Scarlett.
"Alright, but do hurry I'm starved." Scarlett replied as Gerald started sucking. Rhett just shook his head clearly amused with Scarlett's behavior.
"Don't let anyone even tell you Gerald, that your father isn't smart. He knew the only way he was getting out of this room was to promise me food." Scarlett whispered to her son as she rubbed his dark haired head.
*~*
*Three Months Later*
"Tomorrow were leaving for Charleston. Once there were heading to Paris. We asked your Grandmother, but she doesn't want to come along with us." Scarlett said, she was on her knees before Bonnie's headstone. This was the first time since Melly's funeral she had visited Bonnie's grave. It wasn't that Scarlett had wanted to come she had everyday. But it had been a month before the doctor had let her leave her bed. Then Ella had gotten sick and Scarlett was the only one who could make her feel better. Then Scarlett found Rhett was killing himself looking for a manger for the Mill and store one they could trust.
This was made harder because Rhett was keeping both places running. Of course Scarlett couldn't stand for that, when Rhett would get home at night he barely held his head up. So she pleaded with Rhett until he once again let her ran the store until a manger that was acceptable could be found.
The Mill was a touchier' subject they couldn't hire a manger to govern over Ashley that was his job. If only Mr. Wilkes wasn't such a book worm and had a head for business. Rhett had first decided to sell Scarlett's half of the Mill to Ashley once getting her blessing of course. But his promise to Melanie kept him from making a fool of her beloved Ashley. The man would run the Mill into the ground in a matter of months. Scarlett had laughed in his face when he gave her, his reasons for keeping the Mill.
Ashley had solved their problem this morning asking if he could buy their half of the Mill. Scarlett had agreed before Rhett could say a word edge wise.
Scarlett wanted to break free of Atlanta and all things that held them here. After Ashley had left Scarlett knew from Rhett's eyes he was very displeased with her. That's when she babbled out her idea if indeed Mr. Wilkes ran the Mill into the ground as they knew he would. They could always buy lumber from Ashley themselves. Rhett had just laughed at her idea and asked in jest "What I'm I supposed to do with all that lumber?"
So with their financial affairs settled Scarlett knew their was only one things she had been delaying to do that was visiting Bonnie's grave.
Rhett had wanted to accompany her, but Scarlett had declined. She needed to do this alone. Besides once she had placed Gerald in Rhett's arms he was glad to see her on her way.
Seven long months had past since that dreadful day Bonnie took her fall. In those months since that awful day Scarlett had felt unbearable pain and uncontrollable joy. Melanie's death had hit her hard as well. Then Gerald's birth had helped heal her heart, but there still was a hole where once Bonnie would forever filled with her smiles and soft kisses on his cheek.
"Bonnie, I want you to know just because your Daddy and I, are going away doesn't mean were forgetting you. That could never happen." Scarlett stopped as tears ran down her face. How could she be setting on top of her daughter's grave? It wasn't supposed to be this way. Children were supposed to mourn for their parents not the other way around. "Oh, Bonnie...Why wasn't I a better Mother to you?" sobs filled the air. "Two months was all I got to show you how much I loved you"
Scarlet found herself falling to pieces everything else in her life she could take. Always was she needed elsewhere. This time was no different she had to put Gerald first. Now seven months later guilt at putting this day off ate at Scarlett as well. But like always she hadn't had a choice. Tears strained her face moreover Scarlett didn't care all she wanted to do was cry until she had no tears left.
Closing her eyes Scarlett could see Bonnie smiling at her in her mind's eye. She was riding on her pony looking so happy giggles as Mr. Butler took a jump. Their wasn't any fear in her blue eyes as her pony took another jump. This was how Bonnie would want to be remembered. She had loved her pony as if he were a house pet. Tears escaped Scarlett's closed eyes.
Hopefully Mr. Butler was in heaven with Bonnie now. After Bonnie's death Rhett had shot her pony, Scarlett at the time agreed with his actions only now did she regret that. Bonnie wouldn't have wanted that but Scarlett's deep hatred for the pony matched Rhett's that would never allow Mr. Butler to live when Bonnie had not.
Opening her eyes Scarlett was shocked to see a handkerchief before her eyes.
"I must say Scarlett; you never seem to have one of these when you need it." Rhett said as he held out his handkerchief for his wife. His tone was one of jest but his eyes told a different story. One of sadness and understanding.
"Why would I ever need my own handkerchiefs, when you always seem to provide me yours?" Scarlett asked taking Rhett's handkerchief and wiping her eyes.
"I thought you were spending the day with Gerald?" she asked as Rhett kneed down beside her.
"I was but you see my Mother and Mammy both begged for some time alone with him. Seeing how both aren't coming on out trip I decided to grant their wish." Rhett answered most of what he said was true oh his Mother, and Mammy had asked to spend the day with Gerald but they hadn't begged. Rhett knew Scarlett would need him today even if she didn't.
"That was sweet of you Rhett." Scarlett said as she inspected his handkerchief .Like all those year ago during the war it held RKB at the edge of it this time in blue. Rhett over the years had let Bonnie picked the colors that held his initials. Last year it had been red the year before that black. Rhett knew Scarlett's thoughts ran along the same as his every time he looked at his handkerchiefs. "If you like my handkerchiefs so much I'll have some made up for you with KSB sewed in."
Scarlett smiled up at Rhett he always seemed to want to cheer her up. "No don't" Scarlett replied shaking her head "I wouldn't use them. Beside what excuse then would I have for stealing yours?" Scarlett asked the latter with tears in her eyes. She was trying to put on a brave face. Rhett who always could read Scarlett like a book took her into his arms.
Scarlett gave up her charade and cried on Rhett's shoulder. "I was so awful to Bonnie, I don't deserve Gerald." Scarlett cried as her tears flowed like river.
"She...was...so....wonderful." Scarlett sobbed out between tears. "Shh...Don't talk like that Scarlett. You deserve Gerald." Rhett said as he ran his hand through her hair and down her back. "No...I." Scarlett stopped mid-sentence and pulled away from Rhett so she could look into his dark eyes." Why do you love me Rhett?" she asked completely lost to as of why anyone could love her.
"I've loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I saw your setting there with all your beau's bored to death just looking for something to entertain you." Rhett saw shock fill Scarlett's tear strained eyes.
"Then when I overheard your confessing your love to Mr. Wilkes my heart was sold. I knew I had to make you mine." Rhett was relieved to see his words were getting through to Scarlett she had stopped crying and looked completely shocked by his revelation.
"In the beginning I just wanted you for my Mistress but your refusing that offer made me ran away deciding if you were worth marrying or not?.....Then you married Frank my mind was made up if I ever got the chance again I would marry you." Rhett smiled as he remembered that night he asked Scarlett to be his wife.
"So after we married I hoped to push Mr. Wilkes out of your little mind. But not matter how I tried you wouldn't give. I gave up on you but my heart always pulled me back."
Scarlett's eyes were locked on Rhett's she couldn't believe ears Rhett had always loved her. How could she have never suspect Rhett's love? She had at different times only to find Rhett's cold attitude or actions to prove otherwise. Only know did she notice all those things she thought meant Rhett hadn't loved her were things she herself would have done in Rhett's shoes.
"The night of Ashley's party I couldn't take it any longer. I knew nothing happened between you two but just the thought of how happy you must have been in his arms, I couldn't take it any longer." Rhett saw the pain cross Scarlett's face at the mention of his hurt. "Then after you came down stairs I couldn't let you leave without letting you know what a fool I thought you were. I was drunk and admit thing got out of hand."
Scarlett let tears once more leave her eyes this time over the pain she must have caused Rhett over the years.
"Then when you ran away from me I snapped just once I wanted to love you and be loved like I always knew we could if you would just let down your guard."
Rhett saw Scarlett blush at his words at that moment longed to just hold her in his arms. But he needed as much as she did to be able to look in each others eyes having no secrets between them.
"When I woke and saw you there next. Well half on top of me. I panic and went to Belle's. Where I spent those few days drinking by myself hoping you loved me. But once more my pride wouldn't allow me to come home to beg your forgiveness....When I got home, I was scared to death but once I saw you I found the words 'Oh Hello' come out which looking back wasn't the words after my three days absence you were expecting." Scarlett nodded her head 'yes' and Rhett smiled understandingly. "I had to leave you after that. I couldn't go back to the way things were between us."
Scarlett now understood she had hurt him deeply that morning with her words. But what he didn't know was he had hurt her just as much.
"I'm sorry Rhett, I was hurting too I didn't know where you had been then you came in acting like nothing happened. I thought perhaps nights like the one we just spent were the usually for you" Scarlett put her finger over Rhett's mouth as he opened it to tell her how untrue that was. "I know now I was wrong. But Rhett you always hid the fact you loved me as well as I hid the fact I loved you from myself. I still don't understand how you can love me after everything I've done to you?" Scarlett asked.
"Well believe me there were times I hated loving you. But when I came home with Bonnie and said all those awful things. I was convinced you hated me once again." Rhett took his hand and gently ran it across Scarlett's face. "Then when you were crying in my arms telling me how much you wanted Gerald. I knew you had changed and I hoped that meant perhaps you loved me." Scarlett leaned into Rhett's open hand enjoying the feel of his warmth and love washing over her.
"Those two months before Bonnie's death" Rhett stopped as his own tears joined Scarlett's at Bonnie's name. "You showed love to me and the children. You never need worry if Bonnie knew you loved her Scarlett you proved it to her. You changed before all of our eyes to become a wonderful Mother someone Bonnie looked up too. And someone I'm not afraid to admit to loving anymore." Rhett finished hoping he had gotten Scarlett to realize she couldn't chance the past and that Bonnie had loved her, and knew of her Mother's love. "You know my pet, what they say. If anything is worth having it's worth waiting for. And you my beloved were worth the wait"
*~*
Looking at Charleston's harbor from the boat Lovely Lady. Rhett held Gerald in his arms father and son taking in the sight of Charleston getting farther and farther away.
"I grew up there, Gerald it was always cold and unwelcoming to me. Even before I did anything it was like they all knew I was a scoundrel" Rhett stopped as his tiny son yawned.
"If it wasn't for your Grandmother, I would have never come back. When I did and brought Bonnie with me, you should have seen the change in all the old guard." Shaking his head Rhett looked into Gerald's blue eyes and smiled. "They all accepted me open arms. I was the prodigal son returned." Chuckled Rhett as he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist and a head leaned against his back.
"Rhett you know he doesn't understand anything you've just said?" Scarlett asked as she smelled the scent that was Rhett. She smiled as his scent reminds her of her father's.
"Of course my pet, But as I recall that hasn't stopped you from telling Gerald things as well." Rhett mockingly said as he felt Scarlett let go of him and come stand beside him. "It's beautiful isn't it?" Scarlett asked about the ocean changing the subject from her talks with Gerald.
"I've never seen anything more beautiful" Rhett said Scarlett turned her head and noticed he was starring at her." I meant the ocean." Scarlett said trying not to blush.
"So did I" amusement clear in Rhett's eyes and tone.
Scarlett shaking her head kissed Gerald on the forehead then quickly kissed Rhett's lips. "I'm going back to our cabin, I have a feeling the littlest Butler is going to want his nap soon. I want to get everything ready for it."
Rhett watched as Scarlett walked away as soon as he felt she was out of hearing range he once again began his tale about Charleston and his youth there to a half asleep Gerald.
Scarlett who had stopped and turned her head smiled at her husband and son. The love Rhett felt for her, and Gerald clearly written on his face anytime either was in his presence. The only thought that brought unhappiness into their lives was Bonnie's absence. But just as they had to learn to live without her, they also had learned to love again.
~The End~