Author's note and disclaimer: This will be my second fiction under ACOTAR/Nessian and the tone may be a tad different from my first which was nice and sweet and pure...albeit I am not quite at the stage where I feel I would be any good at writing "smut" haha, what is this ship doing to me. I don't own the characters (oh ho I wish I did!). This was written pre-ACOFAS.
The Library
Nesta's feet had gone numb slightly. She briefly stretched out her legs with a small groan, before crossing them delicately beneath herself again, rolling her neck slightly, settling in the big squishy armchair and turned the next page in the novel she had been reading, when the light on her page suddenly went a bit dimmer.
"You keep making noises like that, sweatheart, and I'm gonna want to know what exactly you're reading," a low voice purred from behind her. Nesta refused to admit that at the sound of that voice, the fine hairs on her arms and neck had stood on end. Instead, she huffed slightly and said with a bite "if you don't move out of my light, you overgrown bat, I'll show you exactly what I'm reading by shoving it in your face". A faint snicker came from Cassian, as he moved slowly around from the back of her chair, before leaning over the arm rest, where her knees rested against the material.
Cassian learned forward over the arm rest and stroked her knee gently, smirking, "If you put that book down, I'm sure I can think of an activity that doesn't need any light.". Nesta fixed him with a steely gaze before slapping his hand away from her knee, and rising out of the chair. Her every moment was tracked by Cassian as she moved over to the bookshelves and placed her current read on it's shelf. She became aware of a presence directly behind her and saw two hands come around to either side of her head "Come on Nes," a husky whisper sounded in her ear, the breath causing a tickle down her neck, and she had to close her eyes and steel herself against the tugging from within her chest, feeling her knees threaten to buckle. She fought to urge to lean back into his warm chest. Regardless of how imposing Cassian could be due to his build, and how much she liked to throw that in his face, she always seemed to feel safe with him around. "If you tell me to stop, I will", he nuzzled her neck with his nose, breathing her in "although I fear that stopping may actually kill me.", He lowered a hand to her slender waist, pulling her back towards him but also allowing her to move away from him if she wished to.
Nesta gave a smirk of her own and a roll of her eyes, before turning in his arms to face him. She placed a hand on his broad chest, clutching at his body armour, and stared at his warm eyes, which were crinkled from smiling at her. "Me? Kill the Commander of the Illyrian armies? The Lord of Bloodshed?" she drew him as close to her as he could possibly get, as the male began to leave a trail of feather light kisses from her ear to her shoulder. He reached down and placed his hand behind her knee, looking at her for any hint of doubt or fear, and finding none, he pulled her knee upwards towards him and hoisted her off the floor, pinning her between himself and the bookcase, before continuing with his kisses, chanting her name quietly between them "Nesta, Nesta, Nesta..."
She moved her other hand up to rake through his hair and rapsed "Cassian" breathlessly. If she would be the death of the commander, then he would be the death of her- although she would never admit that to him. She may have grown more intimate with Cassian for the last six months since Hybern and the promises that had been made that day, when he had screamed at her to go and she had shielded his body with her own from the threat of death, but she was still dealing with her fears of being left alone again by those who loved her. At hearing her say his name, Cassian immediately brought his lips to her own and kissed her so hard, she felt her toes curl and she tightened her leg around his waist, moaning softly when she felt him press against her. Nesta had told him quite frankly that she wasn't quite ready just yet to have sex, the thought of it scared her a little- both the thought of sex itself, the intimacy of it, and the thought of sex with Cassian, who had probably been with so many others in his 500 years before her- it was intimidating. But Cassian understood, and didn't force the issue, although they did toe the line together occasionally. More than occasionally.
Nesta had always read about romances in her books, and secretly had longed to experience what it felt like to be the most important thing...person, to another. But she hadn't realised that it would mean that she would wind up feeling the same way about that person. She had always been independent, not reliant on others, so alone. But now, she couldn't seem to go a day without thinking about Cassian when he wasn't around. Where was he? What was he doing? Was he safe? Was he thinking about her? In past times, she would roll her eyes when her few friends had mentioned these concerns to her about their own boyfriends, but now? She understood it entirely, and part of her was still wrestling with having those feelings, with allowing herself to have those feelings. To convince herself that it wasn't a weakness, but a strength, to allow herself to rely on others, and to trust that they relied on her in return.
Her fingers wound their way and gripped through his hair, causing him to moan and press against her tighter, She felt the fire within her melt the solid steel which she knew so well, and she sighed against him as she returned his kisses just as passionately as he gave them. Cassian pulled away reluctantly, leaning his forehead against hers. Nesta rested her palms against his chest, which was rising rapidly in time with his own heavy breathing. "As much as I have dreamed about doing this with you against your beloved bookcases, I feel like we should probably move this to somewhere more private if we are continuing". He winked at her but paused, leaving the ball in her court entirely.
And there it was. He was giving her the chance to push him away, to feed him some snide comment, or snarky remark about how she can do better "with her own hand", how she didn't need him or anyone. It would be yet another rejection he would add to his list, one he was more than likely expecting. One he would shake off with a joke and a laugh. His hands remained steady on her hips, warming at their contact, and her hands remained on his chest, as if he were the only thing holding her up. Nesta paused, trying to catch her breath, only her steel nerves allowing her to remain keeping eye contact with Cassian, despite her cheeks being bright red- whether it was from the kissing or embarrassment, she would never know. But to be honest, she didn't really care about that right now.
"And we will have that time"... Cassian's words echoed in her head as she stared into his eyes. She reached up and kissed him slower, and softer than before. When she pulled away, she asked quietly "so where do we go from here?"
Cassian grinned before returning her kiss. Nesta could feel the happiness radiating from him, but whether it was actually her own or whether it was that tugging in her chest, she didn't know. Cassian lifted her other leg, carrying her, and moved them away from the bookcase towards the large open window. "I'm thinking, somewhere spying brothers of mine won't be able to hear us".