Chapter 18

Christine woke on the last day of the year with Erik still unclothed and unmasked behind her. The sight of him so vulnerable, so natural, so real next to her, all of his layers shed and walls once again broken down, nearly brought tears of joy, of pride, of love to her eyes. This was the first time she was able to view him like this in the sunlight, the floor-to-ceiling windows of his bedroom allowing the abundant sunshine to fill the room. She could see every dip and ridge of his deformity, every strand of hair on his scalp, every scar on his torso and even a single freckle on his shoulder. She kissed the spot, attempting to gently wake him. He shot up in alarm instead, immediately feeling for his mask on the bedside table.

"Shh, Erik, it's alright, you're with me," she soothed, running her fingers up and down the tense, tight muscles of his arm.

"Christine?" he asked as he turned to face her, and she saw his pupils dilate in recognition of her, as though he had still been dreaming until he met her blue eyes with his amber ones.

She brought her hand down to grasp his, squeezing it gently. She still lay beside him, her head on the pillow, and he relaxed into a similar position, inching closer to her.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

"I...I am wonderful, Christine. Confused, shocked, but wonderful."

"What is there to be shocked about? We've done what we did last night before," she giggled.

"Christine, you must understand, we have been through so much in the past week. First, I was with you in a way I never expected to be...then, I lost you. Then, you returned to me and we spent last night together in a way that I thought we never would again," he whispered in astonishment.

Her eyes filled with sorrow, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close to her. "I am so sorry, Erik, for all that you've been through. Not just this week. For everything that happened before I met you," she said.

"You hardly know of what I have done in my life, Christine. I am sure I deserve most of what has happened to me," he argued.

"The beginning of your suffering was in your childhood. No child deserves to be unloved by their mother, and especially not abused. You did not deserve that, Erik."

He was silent for a moment before placing his lips on hers, kissing her tenderly as though to distract from the present conversation. She obliged, too tired and too happy to argue, and allowed the exploration of his mouth on hers. When he placed a hand on the small of her back, pressing her flush against him, she gave a moan, and he was brought back to the present moment.

"Christine," he cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Yes?"

"There is something we...must discuss."

"Alright."

"We did not...ah, we have not…been careful."

She took note of the way his eyes flickered down in between their bodies before sheepishly meeting her gaze once again, and her cheeks flared with heat. "Right," she mumbled. "Well, I'm...on medication. So, the past few times...should be okay. But in the future, it would probably be best to take all necessary precautions, at least for the foreseeable future," she declared.

He nodded his head stiffly, still tense from the awkward nature of their conversation. Once her words registered, his eyebrows furrowed. "Christine...when you say for the foreseeable future…"

She blushed again, nervously lacing her fingers through his. "I shouldn't have been so...forward thinking. I just don't think before I speak. I'm sorry, I don't want to intimidate you or scare you away…" She stared down at their interlocked hands, finding the sight of them far too fascinating, trying to distract herself from her embarrassment.

"Christine, you could never scare me away. I only...I only need clarification. You...you want to be with me...long term? Long enough that you might even consider…?"

She chose her words carefully, petrified that he would dart from the bed into the nearest room with a lock to exile himself in. Would she consider marriage? Absolutely. Children? Once she felt she'd fulfilled her career dreams, yes. But these were far too large concepts for Erik at the moment, and she would have to find more subtle ways to express them. She settled on a simple response, not elaborating further. Erik was an incredibly smart, analytical man. He could fill in the blanks.

"Yes," she replied.

He seemed to sputter in response, opening and closing his mouth several times before he rapidly descended his mouth upon her, settling his body on top of hers. They momentarily renewed their passion before Christine pulled away shyly. "Erik? Maybe we should...wait to do this again until we get the things we need. To be careful. Remember?"

He chuckled, pressing a final chaste kiss to her lips, tightening his embrace around her before pulling away once more. "You are quite the tease, Christine Daae," his voice rumbled, and she felt fluttering in her stomach. He rose from the bed and retrieved his clothing, sliding into it as elegantly as she'd expect him to, swiftly fastening each button and pulling each zipper with a grace she knew only he held.

The next thirty minutes were spent in comfortable silence, the only communication between them being light laughter and gentle kisses as they ate breakfast together. Christine was more than pleased to see Erik eating with her, even when they were on the best terms, he still had not shared every meal with her, and she worried deeply for his health. She did not notice him picking at his eggs and toast too much today, though, he happily consumed every bite. She was shocked to find his plate empty when she reached her hand across the table to find his.

"Do you still want to go to the gala tonight?" Erik inquired.

"I'd love to, if you're up for it. We still need to work on the backstory for Meg, though."

Erik hummed pensively. "This will be challenging. Meg knows you like no other, I'm assuming?"

"Pretty much. I think you've gotten to know me fairly well over the past two months, but Meg has had years to study my expressions and quirks...she notices everything. Any nervousness, any gaps in my story, she'll catch on immediately."

Erik pondered this for a moment, his eyes thoughtful. "Would it be so absurd to tell her the truth?"

"She's very protective of me. I don't think she'd ever forgive you if she knew what happened," Christine admitted, frowning when she saw him stiffen in acknowledgement of this.

"I would not blame her, but...is that so terrible? It does not bother me, Christine. It is what I deserve, and I accept it."

"I just worry she'll try to pull me away from you, and then I'll argue with her...I don't want to lose our friendship," Christine said.

"You want to lie, then?"

"If I have to. I was thinking I could make it seem like you rescued me…"

Erik laughed bitterly. "Do not mock me, Christine."

Christine frowned. "I'm not, Erik, I'm just trying to think of a story, alright?"

He exhaled in resignation. "Go on, then."

"Maybe I could say that I just...reached some sort of breaking point, and I was having a breakdown somewhere in the opera house or something, and you found me and took me somewhere where I could relax and let go of everything that was troubling me. Maybe a vacation that you'd only intended to last a few days, but ended up being...well, two months."

"You think that's believable?"

"Hardly, but it has some substance to it...Meg knows how easily overwhelmed I get, especially around the time of year when my father died. Things become too much, and I did often talk of wanting to escape or run away, especially during panic attacks."

"You suffer from panic attacks?"

"Only when I feel - " Christine began, stopping herself before she could say "trapped." She knew it would pain him to hear he'd caused her to live out her worst fear. "When I feel as though I'm in a situation I can't control or change, like my father being dead."

This was enough for Erik to understand, though, and he grimaced in the heavy feeling of remorse that settled upon him.

"Please, Erik...it's all in the past. Let's focus on how we're moving forward. We kind of have a story now, and we're just going to hope it works out, okay? And then, after that...what comes next?"

"As we discussed before, I would be delighted if you'd stay with me here or even allow me to rent you your own apartment in this complex so that you are close to me, and we can focus completely on your lessons. In just three months I must bring your voice to its fullest potential, and I cannot do that if you cannot dedicate your time completely to music. Is that still agreeable?" He asked.

"More than agreeable," she smiled, tightening her grip on his hand.

He brought her hand to his lips, kissing it gently. "In March, you will audition for the summer production. By the middle of the month, we should know whether or not you have secured the role, then rehearsals will begin. Then...then you, Christine Daae, will have your debut." His eyes sparkled, the exposed corner of his lip turning up in a smile.

"We can certainly hope for that," she breathed, her eyes teary as she envisioned this future with Erik. Performances every night, returning to this penthouse to sleep in his bed, waking with him and the view of New York City in front of her. She traced her fingers over his knuckles, thumbing the familiar shape of the ring he always wore on his left pinky. "What is the meaning of this ring, Erik?" She asked.

"It was given to me by Nadir, actually," he explained. "Black onyx. It's meant to give strength in times of turmoil and emotional distress, or so he says."

She smiled. "Well, I think it's certainly worked its magic...though I think most of that was already inside you."

"I am a weak man, Christine. I acted upon my urges with you. I acted upon paranoia and fear -"

"We all make mistakes. I have forgiven you. Black onyx also transforms negativity, you know. Acknowledge your remorse, accept it, and channel it into the commitment to being a better man, as I know you have been trying."

"What did I do to deserve you?" He whispered in astonishment, tears glistening in his amber eyes. He removed the ring from his finger, taking her hand in his. "May I?" He asked.

She nodded, confused as he slipped it onto the fourth finger of her right hand. "Perfect fit," he marveled. "I believe you could use this more than myself, for the strength and confidence you will need to work as hard as you must over these next few months. Keep it, not as a commitment to me, but as a commitment to music. Wear it and remember what is inside you, what I have always seen and what you will soon see yourself." He squeezed her hand before pulling his away to stroke the curve of her cheek. "Your voice is as strong as you are, Christine...clear and kind and beautiful, but strong and powerful as well. You hold all these things within you, and they will soon shine through your voice as much as they do your actions and your words. We simply must unlock it."

She marveled at the stone on her finger, almost wishing for a moment he'd placed it on her left hand. A thought arose in her mind, one that was so bold, so daring, she almost wondered if the stone truly had given her strength. She acted upon it hastily before the logical side of her could deny it, pulling the ring off her right fourth finger and sliding it onto her left one. His eyes widened. "I commit to the music, Erik, but I commit to you as well. If you'll allow me to, I want to wear this right here, so you can always see it, and you can always know that I choose you. You put this on my right hand, and I chose to move it to my left. You asked for my dedication to my career, and I chose to dedicate myself to you. Anywhere you go, I'll follow you, if you'll let me. You don't have to take me away. You don't even have to ask me. Just let me choose, and I will choose you."

He choked on a sob, rising from the table to kneel at her feet, taking her hands in his and peppering desperate kisses on them. "Oh, Christine," he cried. "My angel." She placed gentle fingers in his wig, combing through the hairs, hoping he could feel the soothing motion, and bent down to place a kiss on his forehead. He wrapped his arms around her middle and buried his face in her chest, and they remained like that until all their tears had been cried.

Christine and Erik never made it to the masquerade gala. They dressed in the finest attire only to remain inside his penthouse, choosing the intimacy and privacy his home allowed over the hustling crowds. Christine knew with her career, there would be many galas and many crowds in her future, and she chose to end her year alone with the man that had changed her life, for worse at first, then for better. They danced to an old record player he had in the living room until midnight, then fell asleep on the couch watching the first film they'd ever watched together again: Pride and Prejudice. They began the new year reflecting on all that had changed since the last time Elizabeth and Darcy were on the screen in front of them and imagining what their future together held.

Their future was not an easy one, of course. The beginning of the year was full of many exhausting days of lessons, Erik slipping back into the role of the teacher far too easily, frustrating Christine to no end. There were nights she'd sleep in her old room, too peeved at him for how strict he was during lessons and how loving he was the moment he stood from the piano bench. She couldn't stand how hot and cold he was, though he reassured her many times he was only harsh during lessons so that he could push her to reach her full potential.

The first month of the year was difficult for Christine because of Meg, too. Meg, of course, had been skeptical of Christine's story, and quickly grew frustrated over the way that her best friend returned after vanishing from nowhere and offered no clear explanation of what had happened, and barely even seemed to trust her. This caused a rift between them for the better part of a month, Meg coldly dismissing Christine in her attempts to apologize when she knew that no explanation would follow her apology. Eventually Meg came around, knowing that some things just cannot be explained, and telling Christine that although she did not understand why she could not tell her what happened, she loved and respected her too much to hold it against her and knew that if Christine did not want to tell her, it was likely for a good reason.

Christine never explained to Meg that Erik was the Phantom, and was careful introducing their relationship to her in the spring. Meg had noticed the ring many times, but Christine weakly described it as a symbol of her commitment to her career before finally breaking down and admitting all that she could about Erik. She told Meg of his past and his pain, and how he had given her the ring as a gift to remind her of the strength within her as she pursued this new path, but she had moved it to her left hand to assert her commitment and love for him. Despite how strange Erik seemed to Meg, and how odd it was that Christine had never discussed their relationship to her, this story alone was enough to convince her of the love between the pair, and she was content knowing that Christine was happy. Madame Giry and Nadir Khan both felt similarly, apprehensive about approving of the relationship at first, but eventually surrendering at the realization of how happy the couple seemed.

By March, Christine was happy, completely, undeniably happy. Her voice was now soaring, as well as her heart, each morning spent strengthening her voice and each night spent strengthening the bond between her and Erik. When the morning of auditions came, she found herself not feeling the slightest bit nervous, only warm and lighthearted from the feel of Erik's arms around her.

"Good morning, my love," he whispered the familiar greeting, one she had not tired of, would never tire of, as his lips pressed softly against hers. She smiled into the kiss, placing her hand on his cheek and pulling her to him.

"Are you ready for today?" He asked, though he was fairly certain he knew the answer. Christine had grown so confident, so sure of herself in these past few months, she had truly become the woman she was meant to be, and he was in constant awe of her.

"I'm ready for anything, so long as I'm with you," she smiled, rising from the bed to dress in her clothes.

Once her hair and makeup was done, she slipped on her black ankle boots, preparing to walk out the door when Erik stood in front of it, blocking her.

"One more thing before you leave, darling," he smiled playfully. He was not wearing his mask, he rarely wore it around the house now, and she was delighted to see both sides of his lips turn up in a smile.

"Erik, I'm going to be late!"

"Just one moment. I have a surprise I am certain you will like," he purred.

She raised one eyebrow in confusion as he pulled an envelope from his jacket. "Open it," he grinned, and the sight of his white teeth flashing was something she had only seen once or twice before. It took her breath away.

She found a letter inside - no, not a letter, a...contract?

"Erik?"

"This is your contract for the opera house, Christine. You will not be auditioning today because you have already secured a role."

"How? This makes no sense, Erik…"

"I may have pulled some strings. I know that you wanted to earn your first role, Christine, and believe me, you have, just think of me as the casting agent. All of my personal bias aside as your...well, your…lover," he decided on the word awkwardly, "boyfriend" never seeming like the right word to describe himself. "I am viewing your voice solely from my position as your teacher, and you are more than qualified. It's not a lead, just a minor role to start you off...I promise you, Christine, I will not interfere with any of your opportunities from now on, you will achieve them all on your own...but I wanted to open this one door for you."

She contemplated this for a moment, unsure of how to react. She had wanted to do this on her own, but she supposed that for anyone in the industry, casting was a mixture of talent, luck, and knowing the right people, and Erik helping her overcome the difficult first step of acquiring her first role could potentially save her years of auditioning before she found the right opportunity to lead her to many more opportunities. She eventually jumped up on her feet in excitement, engulfing him in the tightest hug he'd ever felt, and she lost her footing, accidentally pulling him down to the ground with her.

"We've found ourselves in quite a position again, haven't we, my dear?" He teased, remembering the last time their limbs were entangled together on the ground so many months ago. "I still remember that day so clearly. I had flour in my wig for days," he chuckled.

"I remember it too," she smiled. "I was so stunned to have you so close to me, I hadn't realized how much I wanted you…I mean, wanted you near me until that moment. I kept waiting for you to kiss me, but you didn't."

"Forgive me, darling. I did not want to frighten you. Shall I make up for it now?" He asked, his bloated lips stretching in a gentle smile, and she nodded, meeting them with hers. "I will never tire of these moments," he whispered after a few moments, pulling away.

She beamed at him, brushing her thumb across his cheekbone. "I still don't know much about opera, Erik, are you sure I'm ready?"

"You have been well taught, my love, and you know more than most beginners."

"I have had an excellent teacher," she laughed.

"I have as well, you know," he professed, his eyes soft.

"What do you mean?"

"You've taught me about love, Christine, something I'd never received and never truly given. Like you with opera, there is still so much for me to learn, but what I've learned just in these past five months is more than I ever expected to learn in my lifetime."

Her eyes filled with tears of pride for the man before her, someone once so tortured, so misguided, now so devoted, giving and even kind. He still had days where he struggled with letting go of his demons, but the progress he had made put the character development of Mr. Darcy and all her other favorite literary figures to shame.

"I am so proud of you, Erik, and I'm so honored to have taught you about love - no, to have given you the love that you deserve. I'll be happy to keep teaching you as long you'll let me."

He hovered over her body, his knee sliding in between her thighs, brushing against her. "What is our next lesson then, darling?"

She grinned before pushing him up to sit across his lap. "Take me to your room and I'll show you." He gathered her up in his arms, opening the door to his room and carrying her through it. He left the door ajar, the curtains open, his mask off and his heart open as he gave himself to her, unlocked every piece of him and gave her the key. She gave herself to him in return, and all she could think of as he moved within her once more was how perfectly they fit together, how she had found her safety, her freedom, her happiness in the one place she thought she'd lost it.

She'd found her home, and he found his, and neither of them would be without a safe place again.

A/N: It's finally finished. I finished a multi-chapter fic when I truly didn't think I could. I could ramble in this author's note about how much of a struggle this was, and how I constantly battled my own self doubt and insecurity throughout this entire process, but that hardly matters now, because I did it! I couldn't have done it without my friends though, so huge thank you to madiamazing and phantom-triumphant for their endless support and encouragement, a-partofthenarrative for editing the majority of these chapters (so sorry I posted this one before you could have the chance to edit, Lindsey! I just really wanted to get it out before the weekend was over), wheel-of-fish for a few very necessary pep talks, rienerose for amazing reviews, and to every single one of you for reading along and especially to those of you who left kind reviews. You have no idea how much it means to me.