As I Expected; My Teen Ballin' Rom-Com is Wrong.

Chapter 2

Winter (break) is Coming

Author's useless babbling:

So, actually I'm enrolled in a basketball camp while writing this fic, so inspiration everywhere. But, also, there's exhaustion, but no one cares about that. And I plan on projecting my experience to 8man, him finding his strengths and weaknesses, realizing that there are so many talented players out there, and the value of hard work (pretty ironic for 8man, I'll try fit it in somehow) and perseverance. Also, there's the actual experience of practicing and doing some drills. Heh.

For this chapter, I just want to anchor 8man's foundations, before getting him started on the sport. Anchoring his connection to the athletic Haru, and to the Sakuragi company, as well as trying to find silly, half-baked ways to get it at least a bit parallel to canon.

Also, I plan on letting Hachiman grow to exactly or a bit less than 6'2" (188 cm) for this fic. In canon, he's 172 cm, that's between 5'7" and 5'8", but that was his height for the second year of high school. He won't immediately be at that height, but he'll grow to it.

Also also, I am a fan of elaborate jokes, jabs, and puns. Deal with it. (and yeah I'll be developing a tagging system to help you guys get the jokes better and hopefully get a laugh out)

Well, enough of that, let's get to the fic!

As always, read, review, enjoy!

*Da-chan out*

Hachiman is dripping with sweat. His feet are on fire, and his knees feel like he contracted arthritis mid-game. He also happened to jam a finger on a silly attempt at a steal. But no matter, he had a game to win. He's not known primarily as a scorer— he can't make a jump shot to save his life, but he can at least make layups, thanks to his deceptive dribbling moves, and his various feints and fakes. What he's known for is his incredible passing. He's incredibly unselfish (even off the court ;) ) and manages to deliver the pass at exactly the right place at the right time. With the ball in his hands, you simply need to find a good spot to shoot, and he'll find you. Even past 3, 4 defenders, the ball will reach your hand. That is his game. His 108 loner skills complement his passing ability perfectly, and with them, he wins games. But this one was tough, why? Because the one guarding him is a passer just like him, that's why. His opponent knows what he's going to do, and how he'll do it, ending with them cancelling each other out, so he ne—

"While I liked that adorable look on your face while you were sleeping, you'll be late for school! Not to mention you have that part time job later. I know mom let you have it since you don't really get passionate about much, but you gotta do this right, okay onii-chan?" Komachi stated as she shook Hachiman's head, waking him up from his intense dream.

"Ughh, I will elbow pass the heck outta you youmghihi…"

A long dragging sigh by a young girl was heard, and then the sound of a boy waking up.

"Umm, sorry about that Komachi, I'll get ready to go now."

"Okay!"

Hah, that kind of dream again, while I know it's still far off, Haru did tell me that I have potential, maybe. Or actually, I think she just told me that I at least wanted to play, right? Now that I think about, the only reason that attractive, athletic dunce didn't roast me to death is because I drowned her with my basketball trivia. Heh, the one thing I'm better than her is something that's brain related. She's incredibly sharp when it comes to business, and sports, she even went toe to toe against me in a basketball trivia contest (still lost tho), but otherwise, she's a complete dimwit. I guess you can't have your protein shake and drink it too.

Hachiman thought this as he undressed to take a shower. It's been 3 days since he discovered the place, and frankly, he could've actually just ordered online, but he's not complaining, after all, he got the discounted ball for freaking free just by going there.

He took a quick shower, and then decided for a quick soak in the bathtub. As he soothes his body, he thought back to the events of the day he got the job, and the ball, and the acquiantanc— err, friend?

"Well, what are you waiting for, let's go." said Haru as she motioned for him to follow her.

"Oh-h, mhm." grunted Hachiman as he followed her to the manager's office.

Now, Hachiman was taller than your average middle school student, or even your average Japanese male. Standing at 5'8" (173 cm) at the age of 15, he certainly is tall for a country where adult males are usually around 5'7" (171 cm). But that was nothing compared to Haru, who confirmed that she is just under 6 feet tall at 5'11". That was ridiculous in their country, especially noting that the girl was freaking 17. But she also said that she's been at that height for over a year now, so maybe she's stopped growing. Her relatively ridiculous height called for some ducking here and there, but they've managed to reach the manager's room just fine.

"So, um, Hikigaya Hachiman, you're 15 years old, correct? Hmmm, contact number, boring stuff, boring stuff…" Haru drabbled on as she was skimming through his application sheet.

"Well, no problems here, I think. You might be a bit young, but don't stress it, we won't go at it too hard."

And there she goes with her suggestive wording again. Whoever taught this girl about social etiquette is probably a former delinquent.

And somewhere in Kanagawa, a tall, bald man sneezed.*

"So, Hikigaya-kun, why do want this part time job?" asked Haru.

"Well, I'll be blunt. I need money, but I hate working. I believe that to work is to lose, however, it is undeniable that you need money to do stuff in this world, and for money, you need a job. So I at least picked a job I wouldn't mind getting tired for, too much."

"Well, at least you're honest. I thought you'd just spout some generic stuff about wanting to attain a noble goal or something. Here at Sakuragi we don't like pretentious people. However, it's work hard or fall hard over here, please remember that." her gritty message contrasted with her angelic voice, but it did not make it less intimidating.

"Here at Sakuragi we hate pretentious people." I kinda like the sound of that. Mhm, I like it a lot actually.

"You know, I kind of like you." she added.

T-this girl! She's worse off than Orimoto!

As Hachiman blushed at that, Haru then stood up, and gestured for Hachiman to do the same. She's decided to spend a bit more energy on this interview.

"Well, judging by your posture, your balance, feet placement, and the condition of your muscular system, you do seem like one who'd say something like 'To work is to lose,' and not someone who'd write basketball on the hobbies column."

"Just because I suck at something I like doesn't mean I can't like it." For some reason, the lone wolf Hachiman decided to humor this tall female. Or actually, he just doesn't want to be roasted by a sports goddess.

"You just admitted you suck at basketball, smartass." Haru retorted. Now for some reason she was starting to get chummy with this punk. She'd been professional earlier, but this punk is growing on her. In fact, the professional aura and demeanor she put on, which she got from years of sports interviews and whatnot, was starting to give.

She was really starting to enjoy this interview.

"Well, you just admitted I'm smart, musclehead, and besides, I just picked up the sport a few months ago. What am I supposed to do? I'm not a prodigy." retorted Hachiman. He was not backing away from this one.

"Oh is that so? Well, you know, a prodigy is in front of you right now. You punk, bball trivia quiz right now!" She wasn't backing away either.

"Hah, prodigy or not you're losing this one, giraffe." and now Hachiman has gone full sass. If a child were to walk in and see this without context, it'd say "Mommy, these delinquents are fighting." Granted, you have a tall girl with dyed hair and a tall boy with dead fish eyes, so it isn't that far off.

"Freaking ball of sass" whimpered Haru under her breath.

"Daughter of a delinquent." jabbed Hachiman.

And then the same bald man in Kanagawa sneezed again for the second time that afternoon.

"Hmph, youngest MVP in the NBA." asked Haru.

"Easy, Derrick Martell Rose." Hachiman arrogantly replied.

"My turn, inventor of basketball." he then followed.

"Basic, Dr. James Naismith." quickly rebutted Haru.

"Player with most career points." she then asked.

"Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. What was his former name?" Hachiman answered and asked in one fell swoop.

"Tch. Smartass. Lew Alcindor. Player with most championships." Haru then adopted his quick hit style.

"Easy, Bill Russell, had eight in a row, then three more, for a total of eleven. He is also second at the all time rebounding totals leader list. Who's first?"

"Wilt Chamberlain. He scored the most points in a game, how many?"

"100. Next highest single game point total was 81, who scored it?"

"Kobe Bryant. How many MVPs does he have?"

"Just one. Got snubbed a few times."

Somewhere in the Golden State Warriors training court, a man by the name Steve Nash suddenly felt an itch in his nose.*

"Kobe is third at the all-time scoring leaders list, who's fourth?"

"Michael freaking Jordan. He could palm the ball, dunk, shoot fadeaways, but he also retired basketball for a sport just to return to basketball again. Which sport was it?"

"Baseball. He sucked at it, good thing he returned to basketball."

In a baseball pitch somewhere, Michael Jordan got hit by a baseball to the face.

"Heh, most triple-doubles in a season?" Now Hachiman was confident in this one. He knew Haru wasn't a strictly just into basketball, but he was. And yes, basketball is a big sport, but there are bigger sports than it in Japan. Recent news such as this will be hard to come by. Most of the trivia they've been spouting are rather old facts. This one however, was just established in the middle of last year. He managed to get that deep into the sport, even if he was residing in Japan, which is still xenophobic to however subtle a degree.

"Easy." quipped Haru. "Oscar Robertson. 41."

"HAH." Hachiman snorted out, uncharacteristically passionately. "You lose you outdated skyscraper!"

"Huh? Quit bumming me off. You're bluffing." Haru stuttered. Her resolve was shaken by that reaction from him.

No, he's definitely scheming something, I saw it in his eyes.

Well, she was right to an extent, but she was missing the point. She'd already fallen into Hachiman's trap.

"You're correct, but not anymore."

"Since when?!" this did not feel right. Haru was starting to panic. She's a very competitive person, something you'd expect from athletes, and this boy she just met is toying with her. She is starting to get restless.

"Since Russell Westbrook broke that record with 42 last year, dunce." said Hachiman, and while he was at it, he also flashed an article from ESPN regarding what he said from his phone.

Haru's eyes went wide. She could not believe it. This rotten eyed, lazy bum of a boy was right. The article was legit, and a quick browse through her own phone (which was placed on the coffee table) proved him right, and proved her a loser.

She had a feeling this boy would be a special ever since he walked into the shop. First, he was absolutely clueless that the shop delivers goods. Second, he was not intimidated by her stature, sure, he was mesmerized, but she couldn't blame him, she knew she was attractive, I mean, she's still a girl after all, and she still cares a bit about her appeal. In fact, she felt that in another world, she took that appeal all the way.* But she didn't expect the boy to be this quirky. Heck, he has even more quirks than another anime's protagonist.

Somewhere in a university of aspiring heroes, a green haired boy tripped over nothing.*

Whatever it was, she liked this boy. She didn't even care anymore if he didn't look the part of someone who worked at a sports shop. He definitely had the brain for it, though it was probably limited to basketball and academics (she had deduced, quite late, that he's rather intelligent). But that's nothing a few lessons won't teach. So, regaining her composure, she decided to spread out and let the boy in.

Hachiman then felt that heat creep up to his face, almost as if another suggestive statement linked to the girl was said, somewhere.

"Well, okay, it's my loss. That wasn't much of an interview. You have potential, punk."

"Well, it's definitely not your fault." goodness he was still brimming with sarcasm.

"Shut it, your ego is over-inflating."

"I think that that would actually be good, it'd help my emotional self recover."

Haru was surprised to hear that, but she decided against inquiring it, besides, she knew she's definitely meeting this boy again. A small spark in her heart ignited, hoping that maybe this boy was just like her, left alone because of the unfairness of this world. But she won't open up to a boy she just met, maybe when she's known him long enough, maybe she'll tell him.

Hachiman on the other hand felt a nagging feeling somewhere, almost as if some embarrassing words he'd tell two gorgeous girls were manifested and dangled in front of him, but he paid it no heed. He wasn't going to fall for the same trap twice, so he forcefully flushed that thought out of his system, unaware that it would surface again.

I repeat, what is up with this girl.

"So," Haru extended her hand to Hachiman, "friends?"

Hachiman visibly flinched at that word, which Haru immediately noticed.

"I feel co-worker is a better title."

"The world will end before you stop being a pessimistic bastard." said Haru in the least professional way possible. Hachiman's suggestion of a co-worker relationship is obvious bull, they've stopped being professional ages ago.

However, he decided to shake her hand.

"Hired. I'll mail you your shift schedule and other details later. Oh, and as promised, I'll have the ball delivered to your address by tomorrow, completely free." Haru said as she smiled. Now she had company that was a bit more relatable. All the middle aged dudes that did the deliveries were too sad and pathetic for her taste, but actually, the boy in front of her was also sad and pathetic. This paradox nagged her head, but she decided to let the boy home for the day, as she planned on getting a nice good shower and sipping on a chilled bottle of fruit juice.

"Thanks, I'll be going now." coolly replied Hachiman. He then proceeded to walk out of the office, and the sound of the doors of the store opening and closing were heard. He was on his way home.

"Haaah, what have I gotten myself into, I gotta call dad." Haru said.

"Haaah, what a weird girl, and my manager too, I gotta call mom and tell her about my job." Hachiman said, on his way to the station.

Hachiman's face started to get red with the heat of the water in the tub, and he decided to finally step out. After using two of his 108 loner skills: quick dressing-up and quick eating, he got dressed in two minutes flat and ate his breakfast, courtesy of Komachi, in five. He then went out to meet his trusty steed, and galloped (pedaled) all the way to school, through the chilly late autumn air. He was itching to finish school, get to work, and then go home and do the dribbling drills that he spent 3 days watching and compiling.

"Winter (break) is coming.*" he said.

Hype. Hype. Hype. Training scenes incoming fools, training scenes incoming. So first, why winter? Coz what's more epic than a broken-hearted boy training hard on a freezing winter day? I'll wait. Now, feel free to browse all the basketball trivia I have inserted, if there are any mistakes, feel free to tell me! So as for the jokes, here we go:

1. OG Sakuragi was a delinquent.

2. Steve Nash stole an MVP from Kobe (snubbed).

3. Sakuragi Haru is coincidentally a porn star's name.

4. Plus Ultra! (boku no hero)

5. Game of Thrones brother. Game of freaking Thrones.