It was nearly lunch time before the four exited the tour bus, ready for some food.

"The tour bus idea was inspired," Xander complimented Dawn once more.

"You just like it because it's as luxurious as the best hotel room and has a rock star feel," Dawn replied with a grin.

"And?" Xander asked.

"And nothing," Dawn said, "I'm just gloating."

The group burst out laughing.

As the four reached the picnic tables where Joyce and Kaylee were cooking chicken, Giles and Mal were listening to the radio and taking notes, others were moving boxes of stuff inside the super structure.

"What's our status?" Xander asked.

"Most of the world is in chaos," Giles replied. "Only the countries where private firearm ownership is prevalent seem to have any hope of keeping any degree of their population alive. The US military has allowed any members of the armed forces to leave their service provided they promise to help any civilians they run across while trying to rescue their own family members, so about three quarters of the US armed forces are scattering across the continent."

"They are avoiding population centers, unless that's where their families are, and are directing civilians to the nearest military bases," Mal added. "A good eighty percent of US bases came through with minimal casualties. I expect a huge chunk of zombies are going to be taken out by them alone."

"The freshly dead will stop rising by the next new moon," Giles said. "Anubis was, thankfully, merciful in terms of duration."

"What's the local situation?" Xander asked.

"The Sunnydale National Guard base was completely wiped out," Giles reported. "Not really a surprise considering the number of dead locally. The majority of fallout shelters have formed their own radio network and are quite chipper, only having minor problems save for one or two."

"Tell him," Joyce ordered.

"Fine," Giles said with a sigh. "Your parents' shelter reported that they have need of some medication for several of their members that they overlooked in their haste to get to safety as well as several crates of alcohol that they left topside."

"Betty Chase also sent you a personal thank you," Joyce said. "While she wasn't able to save Carlos or Chanelle, she was able to save several families besides her own." Joyce turned to Harmony. "One of those families was the Kendalls."

"I wasn't worried about them," Harmony said, "but thanks."

"Don't get along with them?" Dawn asked.

"No, we get along fine," Harmony assured her. "See, my dad has a massive gun collection and stone walls three feet thick surrounding our place."

Willow had been passing by with a box of shaving supplies but stopped to listen. "Aren't your parents part of the anti-gun movement?"

"Yeah, why?" Harmony asked.

"If they're anti-gun why would they have guns?" Willow asked slowly. She really hated dealing with Harmony.

Xander put his arm around Harmony's waist and gave Willow a look.

"I'm not trying to be mean," Willow defended herself, "I genuinely don't get it."

Harmony leaned into Xander and gave him a smile before answering, "The anti-gun movement isn't against guns as a whole, it's against poor people owning guns."

"What?" Willow asked, unable to believe what she was hearing as she was part of the anti-gun movement herself.

"Do you have any idea how many people are shot and killed in the inner cities each day?" Harmony asked. "The amount is insane. Well off neighborhoods have regular police patrols and armed guards, gun crimes are pretty much non-existent, so all the laws are targeting the largest group of offenders, the poor. All of the laws and regulations can be handled easily if you have money. If you have money you aren't likely to commit any crime involving guns, so the laws aren't written to apply to them."

"Laws always benefit the rich," Faith said with a shrug, startling everyone who'd been too busy listening to Harmony to notice her approach.

"Guns only belong in the hands of those who can responsibly handle them," Harmony said, "Mainly that's police and private security services."

"Do you really believe all that?" Faith asked.

"My parents make me go to a bunch of events where I'm expected to smile and agree and repeat things my dad says." She shrugged. "Personally, I don't see how more laws are going to help, criminals don't obey laws or they wouldn't be criminals."

"Yes, but if you reduce the number of guns it reduces the amount available for criminals to get a hold of," Willow said.

"Like prohibition prevented drinking and the drug wars prevented people from getting drugs?" Harmony asked innocently.

"Um… I gotta go finish this," Willow said, retreating as she wasn't remotely prepared to debate the issue at the moment.

Faith was polite enough to wait until Willow was far enough away not to hear her before bursting out laughing. "That was great!"

"Didn't you claim just to be average?" River asked. "That was not an average argument."

Harmony shrugged. "I've heard both sides of the argument until I was sick of it and I have no clue who's right or what the solution is. As far as I can tell you can't keep people safe because there is always going to be a bunch of jerks who break the law and hurt people."

"No, that pretty much sums up the situation," Giles said. "You can't legislate morality, though Lord knows they try."

"Well, the zombies solved that problem," River said, "anyone who let themselves be disarmed is probably dead."

"Hey, no more political arguments," Xander said cheerfully. "the zombies have killed both sides equally and simplified everything."

"Doesn't that mean we'll have to handle all the politics ourselves now?" Joyce asked, much to the teens' horror.

"Actually, with the reduction in population and abundance of resources, very few laws will be needed, society will be able to get by with something as simple as a dozen laws," Giles said thoughtfully.

"Oh, thank God!" Xander exclaimed.

"Celebratory orgy?" River asked Xander loudly as she saw her brother approach.

"After lunch," Harmony said firmly, "I'm hungry."

"Ditto," Xander and Dawn chorused.

Simon didn't rise to the bait this time, as he could tell his sister was just messing with him.

"What are you going to do about your parents?" Dawn asked.

Xander sighed. "Well first I need to verify what kind of medication they need, which I'm willing to bet is antibiotics, then I'm going to pack all my clothes in a water proof bag and swim to shore. I'll stay out of sight until I can get to the petstore on main, which is close to the bike shop. I'll grab a dozen bottles of antibiotics, snag a bike, and drop off what my parents need. I'll swing back by the Chase mansion and see how things are there, depending on what the zombie population is."

Simon snorted. "We are five miles out. Even if you can swim that far, you'll be easy prey for the zombies due to exhaustion."

"Swim team?" Giles asked.

"Yep," Xander agreed. "A complete blood transfusion stopped the transformation, but it didn't reverse the changes I'd already undergone, thankfully."

"That does explain your confidence in swimming to shore," Giles said. "How sure are you about traveling through Sunnydale unmolested?"

"Do you know that vampires don't often look up?" Xander asked cheerfully.

"First zombies, then werewolves, and now vampires?" Simon asked, but everyone ignored him once more.

"The roof tops?" Giles asked, surprised.

"Very handy downtown, but not so much the rest of the place," Xander said.

"Impressively quick plan," Faith said.

"Already had that one in the bag for when Willow needs something from the hardware store," Xander explained.

"But how would you carry something heavy back while swimming?" Simon asked.

"Steal a boat," Xander replied. "If that didn't work I could just stick a float on it and tow it. Wrap it in plastic if I need to."

Simon was surprised he'd answered, having expected to be ignored after his earlier behavior.

"Anything else new?" Xander asked.

"Jayne, one of the crew from the tugs, took Faith to rescue some people," Giles said, gesturing for Faith to continue the story.

"The guy, Jayne, reminds me of you a little," Faith told Xander, "Not in looks or anything, but in coming up with a decent plan and pulling it off to do some crazy shit. See, we took a tug close to shore, rode an inflatable boat in and grabbed a jacked up truck."

"Next time tell me before you do something like that," Dawn complained checking over her sister to make sure she was uninjured.

Faith put up with Dawn fussing over her with a grin. "I ain't a cock block and it was a simple milk run. Now, get this, Jayne and me rescued… a half dozen porn stars."

"Jayne is a simple man with complex emotions," Mal said in the sudden silence.

Faith laughed. "He used a boom box to lure all the zombies off the pier and stole a yacht to bring them out here. After that, he went back to grab the inflatable we rode in on. The yacht is tied up next to the party girl's you used to date," she told Xander.

"Cordelia and Wes made it?" Xander asked. "Good," he said with a nod.

"Cordelia also managed to bring several of her employees along," Giles said. "Her maid, gardener, and the maintenance man."

Xander beamed. "Excellent. Betty will be happy to hear Carlos is OK and Alan is a genius at fixing things."

"Carlos was the gardener?" Giles asked.

Xander nodded. "He's got a green thumb. You can tell because despite water rationing, the Chase estate's lawns were green all year round. If we're going to set up a greenhouse out here, which I figure we'll want to do, he can show us what to do before he talks me into taking him to Betty."

"I got a weird question," Faith said. "While me and Jayne were rescuing his 'loved ones' I noticed butt plugs all over the place. There were at least half a dozen lying on the ground on every block. What's up with that?"

"Xander, if you'd care to field that one," Giles said, waving towards him.

Xander laughed. "When you fill a body with embalming fluid you have to keep it from leaking out, so the mortician plugs the hole. When all the dead from the graveyards start walking around, things tend to pop out."

"And you know this how?" River asked curiously.

"To keep the death rate of morticians low in this town, we had to pretend to be ones and explain to any newbies about vampires," Xander explained. "Me and Giles took turns."

"People are far more likely to listen to colleagues than random strangers," Giles explained.

"Buffy never mentioned anything about that," Faith said.

"She couldn't have blended in or pretended to be a mortician to save her life," Xander said. "Slaying involves a lot more than just killing vamps."

"At least on the Watcher's part," Giles agreed.

"So, when are you planning to go into town?" River asked Xander.

"Once I make sure my parents just need anti-biotics and not insulin or heart medication, I figure they can go a couple of days without it while we wait for the vamp population to drop a little more," Xander said. "Have we told the shelters about vamps? They need to know not to invite them in."

"A very good point," Giles agreed. "I'll do that when they do their check in at four."

"Lunch is ready," Joyce told Oz as he passed by with a box.

"I'll let them know," Oz replied.

"Once everyone had gathered, they had to bring out three more picnic tables for the expanded group, Joyce and Kaylee started passing out plates of food.

"Have your plans changed any?" Buffy asked Xander.

"How do you mean?" Xander asked, before taking a drink of orange juice.

"I mean lots of stuff is happening that no one, not even you, thought of, so how does that change all the plans you made?" she explained.

"That's a good point," River said. "The US Military practically disbanding wasn't something I'd ever imagined would happen."

"Well… Since the Sunnydale National Guard has been wiped out we could take that over," Xander considered. "Not right away of course. Giles said the curse of the dead rising will end after the next new moon so we don't want to do anything until then, but that would be a lot safer than the barge and provide enough weapons and armor to keep everyone safe."

"If the zombies killed everyone on base, how do you figure we'll be safer there?" Buffy asked.

"The military didn't realize what they were dealing with," Xander replied. "Who expects dead friends who were just fighting on your side to rise up and join the enemy? Well, besides us of course. Plus, the base has its own morgue which is probably where the killing started. That's one of the reasons I want to wait until the new moon, so we don't have a repeat of that. Military bases are designed to keep things out, not in."

"I wonder why the other bases released so much of their forces," River said.

"That's pretty easy to see," Mal said. "Now, I never ranked high enough to see all the emergency plans they had for complete disasters and I doubt zombies were on the list, but the way all the bases acted the same say they are following the same plan."

"Military bases release excess troops who will help reduce the number of enemy and allow them to stretch their supplies while spreading a heap of good will," Zoe added.

"And once the zombies are gone, will form the nucleus for new population centers following the US Constitution," Simon realized.

"In less than a decade the US will be up and running once more," Jayne said cheerfully.

"It's a good recovery plan," Giles noted. "I wonder if any other country has something similar."

"Russia maybe," Xander said.

"The ruskies are always copying us," Jayne said with a shrug, "but then they'd be stupid not to."

"So, short term plans the same and in a month, we start wiping out zombies?" Buffy asked.

"Sounds about right," Xander agreed. "This means it's even more important to keep the shelters alive, so we have a decent sized population to run everything and scare off raiders."

"Raiders?" Harmony asked.

"Like you said earlier, there are always going to be people who are assholes who like to take things from others and hurt people," Xander said.

"I think the zombies will get most of them," Dawn said hopefully.

"Looks like we're going to need lessons in firearms and basic magic usage," Xander said.

"Firearms?" Buffy asked with a scowl.

"Magic?!" Simon questioned, wide eyed.

"Not all the vamps and demons are going to die out," Xander replied, "plus there are going to be animals and assholes to deal with."

"And who put you in charge?!" Cordelia demanded in what she felt was a reasonable manner.

*pfft!*

*thump!*

"That was uncalled for!" Wesley exclaimed, while he checked to make sure Cordelia was alright.

"Nah, I'm pretty sure she was calling for that, even if she didn't realize it," Faith said cheerfully.

"I thought you gave me the tranq pistol back yesterday," Xander said, before helping himself to more chicken, completely unconcerned.

"The Mayor saw how much I liked it, so he sent me a bunch," Dawn replied.

"You can't just go around darting people," Buffy said.

"We aren't a democracy, we aren't voting for who's in charge," Xander said. "We also aren't assholes, at least I hope not. What we are is people trying to survive an apocalypse that is still ongoing. What we need to do is pretty obvious, but it's all voluntary. If anyone doesn't like a plan they don't have to participate. Does any of that sound unreasonable?"

"Sounds like a plan," Faith said with a grin.

"She was just trying to speak her mind," Wesley defended the unconscious girl.

"Didn't she specialize in taking control of groups and being a bitch to people?" Faith asked, pointing a thumb at Cordelia.

"She's been better the last year or so," Willow offered.

"Well, something made her backslide," Harmony said, "cause she sounds like her old self at school."

"Stress," Giles suggested. "Everyone responds differently, but many people fall back into old behavioral patterns."

"So basically, she was cranky and needed a nap?" Buffy asked.

Giles considered it. "Essentially, yes."

"Always happy to help," Dawn said, completely unrepentant, "and if she tries to sabotage anything and cause problems again… I have a lot of darts."

"Save the darts for serious problems," Xander suggested, "I think Oz and Willow have a much better way to relax her and help her de-stress."

"Wha…" Willow turned bright red.

The corner of Oz's mouth quirked up for a moment before he cleared his throat and said, "I think he means rolling her a joint."

"Oh," Willow said. "Good, that's a lot easier. I mean if I had to… but thankfully I don't."

"I'd help," Oz assured her, "but only if needed."

"Good," Willow said, avoiding everyone's eyes, cheeks still really red.

"How long is she going to be out for?" Xander asked.

"I used a ten minute dart," Dawn said.

"You have ten minute darts?" Buffy asked curiously.

"Hey Wes, how about I help you carry her back to her yacht while Oz and Wills get some joints and food for you guys?" Xander asked. "I think she'd be happier waking up in surroundings she controls."

"That is a very good point, thank you," Wesley said.

The two quickly picked her up and crossed the deck carrying her.

"Wes, you are going to need to man up here," Xander said seriously once they were away from the others.

"How do you mean?" he asked.

"A couple of things," Xander said, "think American courtship, not British, she's not one for patience and she needs someone right now."

"I… Well…" Wesley failed to say anything.

"Everything's legal and there is no society to disapprove," Xander told him. "Be confident and decisive! If not for yourself, do it for her!"

"Yes," Wesley said slowly seeming to find some steel in his spine. "I'll do that."

"Good man," Xander said as they crossed over to her yacht and entered the lounge on the massive personal pleasure craft. "I'll see you later, good luck!"

Dawn finished her conversation with Buffy about tranquilizer pistols as Xander sat down.

"Did you really just setup a foursome for your ex?" Faith asked, amused.

"Maybe," Xander said as he saw Oz and Willow crossing the deck with a load of food and drinks visible, "but I prefer to keep my life free from any serious drama and am quite happy with things as they are."

"What about my brother?" River teased.

"I said serious drama, not comedic," he reminded her.

"Hey," Simon complained.

Typing by: Abyssal Angel