True obliviousness must be a gift, Merlin supposed. For Arthur, it meant never even trying to look beyond what his mind told him even if all physical evidence pointed to the contrary.

Take now for example? The bag slung carefully over his aching shoulder was fairly bursting with herbs, the basket on his other arm held the bottles Gaius had requested he collect from the glassmakers last evening before he set out and his boots and the lower half of his breeches were both wet and muddy, covered in grass stains and scratches from having to collect hawthorn for Gaius's remedies and the blackberries he had indulgently collected as a supplement to their otherwise bland breakfast. And yet despite all of this, and the fact he smelled of damp grass and not stale ale, Arthur was still insistent on his having spent the night in the rising sun. Merlin hadn't the foggiest idea where he would have gained the idea since if asked Gaius would have truthfully told him he was out on errands for himself.

Merlin tried again to gain his employer's attention and defend himself since despite the rest of Arthur's inner circle standing there just behind the king they were doing a very poor job of acting like the knights they were and seeking justice for the innocent citizens of Camelot. No if he had to describe them all at this precise moment he would have to say they were being childishly gleeful about his embarrassment and having a hard time holding in their laughter at his discomfort. "Arthur!" The king ignored him again just as he had the last thirty odd times he had tried.

"…It's irresponsible Merlin. Do you have any idea how important this treaty is? And you would jeopardise such peace by acting in a manner unbefitting to Camelot's image…" There was a distinctive snort from Gwaine, hastily turned into a cough.

Merlin frowned deeply at him hoping he choked on his suppressed mirth, this was hardly a laughing matter.

That was it! The stupid clotpole just wasn't listening, again. He should be used to it by now, and usually yes he could just shrug and smile about it and come up with a whole witty repartee he would run out in his head or under his breath and call his king an idiot in his own mind before running up to Gaius and repeating the whole incident with laughter in his eyes. But right now he was tired, sore and in need of a wash since he hadn't finished with Arthur till well into the wee hours and then gone straight out for Gaius and his damnable night blooming flowers. Tripped over his own feet in the darkness and fallen down a slight incline that luckily grass covered as it was only bruised his ego and his funny bone rather than anything serious and now after a night of no sleep and hard labour for both his masters he was berated as if he were a small child in need of a nursemaid on constant watch. The words flowed out without conscious direction. "As if you are doing so much better sire, reprimanding me on the stairs in full view of our esteemed guests for something I haven't done."

He realised as soon as he said them he would regret having spoken aloud with such peevishness and winced mightily before rubbing his forehead at the headache blooming through lack of sleep and coiled tension, just waiting for the axe to fall.

"I am your sovereign, and you my subject, and I will damn well reprimand you anywhere I please."

"Arthur..."

"No, Merlin. No more excuses, no more apologies. Until this treaty is completed I will have no more from you. Get yourself cleaned up and be down at the training grounds in fifteen minutes."

"The training grounds?! Arthur I'm supposed to be helping Gaius today." Gaius had made the request for Merlin to spend the day assisting him only a couple of days ago knowing Merlin would have next to no sleep and would be able to grab at least a few hours under the guise of making remedies for the physician. A fact Arthur seemed to have conveniently forgotten he'd given permission for.

Another stab of pain from his rapidly developing migraine leapt across his eyes and he rubbed a little harder, thereby missing the look of disgust aimed squarely at his person completely.

"I gave permission based on you working not using it as an excuse to be an idiot. If you have a sore head Merlin it's your own fault, perhaps training with it will make you rethink your drinking habits."

"I have a sore head from lack of sleep clotpole not..." But he was talking to the Pratt's back as he walked away with a little wave over one shoulder and those vicious few words thrown carelessly over the other.

"Fifteen minutes, Merlin!"

The rest of the knights turned to follow, not even bothering to smother their laughter now Arthur had moved out of earshot.

"Funny is it?!" Sarcasm was nothing new to Merlin but this whole morning was just getting to him in a way it hadn't in a long time and he felt justified in feeling just a little put upon. So his words came out so much harder and more vicious than was normal. It did at least knock the stupid grins from their faces as they turned back in surprise. "Fat lot of good you are! Call yourself Knights? Defenders of the weak, my arse! Defenders of your own entertainment more like!"

"Merlin..." And Gwaine sounded altogether puzzled. As if he had never thought Merlin might not go along with one of their jokes, and yes in other circumstances he might have, but this was far from funny. Arthur's fixation of Merlin being an alcoholic had been less than amusing for a very long time now.

"You know I wasn't there. You know it and you never even tried to speak up."

"We do know it Merlin. But we also know you sneak out a lot." Gwaine was now winking at him in an insane way and Merlin couldn't fathom why he was being even more of an ingrate than normal.

Surprisingly the explanation came from Elyan of all people, and the hand on Gwaine's arm indicating he should cease the irritating gestures and the gentle words just confused him. "We just assumed you had a lady friend you couldn't speak about with us. There were rumours of her being high born and the tavern was always your cover excuse since Arthur really wouldn't approve."

And just like that, Merlin felt like he'd been dowsed with cold water. They saw him sneak away? Though from what they were saying they thought it was to meet some noble woman? For a fling? There were even rumours about it?

The sheer astonishment kept him quiet, gaping like a fish, too long. His silence was taken as assent and the smiles returned tenfold. The slap on the back from his roguish friend snapped him out of the stupefaction. "I always knew you had it in you! So who is she? Anyone we know? Promise we won't tell."

"I don't...I'm not..." Merlin, cheeks now a deep cherry red, shook his head to clear it and really wished he hadn't when his head protested yet again. "I wasn't in the Tavern and I most certainly wasn't seeing a woman." He was proud of how forceful the words came out seeing as how shaken he actually was. But Gwaine just winked tapping his finger on the side of his nose. "I completely understand. Your secret is safe with me."

And just as with Arthur they all turned around and walked away, all his protests now falling on deaf ears. He was left feeling as if everyone had been hit with a dose of insanity and he were now the only being making any kind of sense left in the whole of Camelot.