Location: Freighter Sad Panda, Shalta Ward Docks, Citadel

August 2183

"Thank you Docking Control. Confirmation of que acknowledged. Now releasing docking clamps." There was a shudder as the clamps released and the ship's own Mass Effect Fields powered up.

Jaaid smiled as the slight vibrations flowed through her. She loved this ship, loved its grace, its agility, its crew. Speaking of which…

She watched the monitors as the newest member crossed the small observation gallery and stared out the viewport. He was standing close to Lasiira, awfully close, practically touching.

The pilot sighed. There were a lot of things she missed, simple act of touching being one of the top five. At least she thought she did. Had she ever been touched the way a lover would another? It had been so long since this had happened to her that she didn't actually know.

"You are drifting off course by point zero zero four degrees, Jaaid." The robotic drone jolted her back to reality.

"It's not like there's anything remotely close to our departure lane. Just the same old boring routine." Jaaid decided to try and have a little fun at her bridge mates expense. "Why? We're not getting a little scared, are we Wan?" She teased.

"We have come across multiple data stream references about females and mobile conveyances," Wankaygee replied in a steady monotone, "they usually do not end well."

Jaaid's eyebrows arched as she stuck out her tongue in the navigation consoles general direction.

"I can't believe you went there! Oh it's on, you pile of circuits."

There was a slight pause and the pilot swore she heard a sniff of disdain, "We believe the correct response is 'bring it'?" There was another pause. "Destiny Ascension now coming up on the port side."

Jaaid stared in wonder and a small bit of envy at the powerful Dreadnought as it loomed like a monstrous dark shadow, backlit by the purple nebula. On a whim she decided to flash her running lights in the Asari traditional fleet farewell. To her surprise and joy the massive ship flashed back.

Smiling happily once more, the pilot again brought up her internal monitors. Everyone was now gathered in the observation gallery. With a thought she flicked on the internal comms.

"Hi guys! We're currently on an outbound vector to the Widow Relay, eta in seventeen minutes. From there it's eleven more jumps to Omega for a total flight time of 60 hours. On a side note, Wankaygee has done wonders with the training simulator in the cargo hold. Glad I'm not going there. Have fun guys!"

Jaaid ended there before she got too excited and launched into something really embarrassing like she usually did. It was hard sometimes, confined here all alone, with only a glorified toaster as her companion. Shaking her head, she forced herself to snap out of the self pity. The pilot had no time for that. There were Relays to jump!

Heffi yelped as two drones zeroed in on her, blasting away her cover and sending her scrambling. In her haste she ran in front of Lasiira who cursed as the Quarian caused her to mistime her Singularity which ended up near the ceiling.

The crackling, violent blue orb then caused Jahla to look up, losing her concentration, and life as more drones nailed her scoring kill shots.

Katiya, now deprived of guidance from it's Volus creator, defaulted to factory settings and promptly rolled off the container it was attempting to scale, almost flattening Manda in the process who yelped and stumbled out of the way right into the crossfire of more drones.

Holdrek, already in the throes of Krogan battle lust, barely registered any of it as he continued to surge forwards, not realizing his back was no longer covered and, ultimately, howling as he was shocked repeatedly in the rear.

Sebastian sighed in exasperation as the team disintegrated around him. With that much chaos, lack of training and unfamiliarity with each other's combat style, he began to see why his brother preferred three man teams. Less headaches.

Preprogramming a set of grenade launches into his omni tool, the Marine rocketed out of cover. Zig zagging back and forth with short bursts of his assault rifle and cryo grenades, he began working his way across the cargo bay, taking out drones one after another.

He had almost made it to the objective, a holographic Krogan Female in a hideous wedding dress that was obviously in distress when the final challenge came charging out of cover.

A holographic Geth Juggernaut.

Sebastian skidded to a stop and hurled himself into cover as the Geths massive shotgun fired. Barely skipping a beat the Marine waited for the telltale hiss of overheat and reared up out of cover firing full auto. The spray of bullets nailed the drones holo imager and it disintegrated into motes of light.

On a whim he also put a bullet through the head of the Krogan female.

"I'll have you know that was based off my mate," protested Holdrek as the paralytic fields finally collapsed.

The Marine looked back at him and raised an eyebrow. "Well, beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder then. Say, do Krogan ever wear glasses?" He laughed at Holdrek's murderous expression as comprehension dawned. "Okay Jaaid, can you reset the drones and timer? We're going to do it again in ten minutes."

"Sure thing Sugar!" The elusive pilot sounded as upbeat as ever, even as everyone else groaned. "But this time you're going down!"

"We'll see about that," Sebastian smirked. He looked up at the overhead gallery and raised an eyebrow at the lone figure who leaned nonchalantly against the windows.

So far Erik had declined to participate in the drills, stating that he tended to be self sufficient. Sebastian had hoped that the taciturn Merc would be more forthcoming after the incident at the Citadel, but apparently not.

With a shrug, the Marine turned back to the rest of the motley squad, new ideas on how to mesh them into a cohesive force already forming in his mind.

Erik Hansson saw the look from the young Marine and pretended to ignore it. He sighed and wondered, not for the first time, exactly what he was still doing here.

The Mercenary had been truthful when he'd told Sebastian that he was pretty much self sufficient, at least partially. The main reason was he honestly didn't know how long he could keep up this air of nonchalance.

Especially where Sebastian was concerned.

Holdrek knew, of course, but the wily old reptile had so many secrets it was fairly safe to say he had not told anyone, even his own adopted daughter.

It's probably for the best, his thoughts focused and he nodded slightly in affirmation. I'll help them on Omega and then I'm going. It's going to be better that way. They will never need to know.

"Is that really what you want?"

The question startled him and he looked around wildly for the source.

"No one with you but your friendly pilot-slash-creeper." The perky voice wafted over the intercom and finally clicked in the Mercs mind.

Jaaid.

"Just a word of advice, when you're going to do an internal monologue maybe remember next time not to say it out loud?"

Erik hadn't realized he'd spoken his thoughts out loud and rubbed his face futilely. "Got it Jaaid. Thanks, I guess?"

"So what are you going to do?" Jaaid began in a questioning sing song, "are you going to tell him?"

"Tell who?" The Merc's guard was up now and he knew he sounded both suspicious and defensive but he couldn't help it. "And what am I supposed to tell them?"

There was a poignant pause before a dramatic sigh came over the comms. "If you're going to make me spell it out I will. When are you going to tell Sebastian that your his father?"

Erik's jaw dropped in shock. "What? How did you-?"

"Yes Erik, when were you going to tell me?"

Sebastian's plan had gone surprisingly well. Taking a chapter out of the Systems Alliance Training Manual for integrating mixed fire teams he had opted for two teams of three instead of a free for all.

The next skirmish saw Holdrek, Manda and Jahla going up one flank while Lasiira, Heffi and himself went up the other.

They decided that the Quarian would stay close to him until she was more confident and aware of her surroundings. He couldn't help but smile as she looked at him, wide eyed, and stammered an affirmative. When the Asari had teasingly suggested Heffi stay closer to Sebastian than she would her own lover, the poor Quarian had blushed so hard her visor steamed up.

Still, she had gamely followed his lead, even managing to get two kill shots before Holdrek himself reached the objective and, glaring balefully at Sebastian, reached out his hand to the adoring Krogan female that looked up at him.

Allowing the Krogan to have his moment of triumph, Sebastian once again looked up at the viewing gallery.

The Mercenary was still up there but now looked as if he was having a rather animated discussion with something. Most likely Jaaid, as everyone else except for the equally elusive Wankaygee was still in the cargo bay.

Sebastian frowned as his thoughts drifted to their fight on the Citadel. Erik had seemed to be warming up to all of them and, for a brief moment, there had been some spark of familiarity in the dim recesses of Sebastian's mind. He hadn't really given it any more thought until now.

Deciding to act, he hopped up the cargo bins and onto the small balcony. The hatchway slid open. Erik's back was turned towards him and he started to offer a greeting.

"If you're going to make me spell it out I will. When are you going to tell Sebastian that your his father?"

"What? How did you-?"

"Yes Erik, when were you going to tell me?"

Sebastian's voice was icy calm but his mind was reeling. Confusion warred with consternation and anger and he could feel them overwhelming him even as the stridently urgent query from Lasiira resounded in his head. He tried to force himself to move but still stood, rooted in one spot, as he watched the sequence of his emotions play out on his reflection behind Erik.

His father.

The Mercenary had whirled around. Shock was all over his face, and his eyes flashed as he looked up at the intercom before attempting to speak.

"Sebastian! I-I didn't want it-This wasn't supposed to-Oh hell I don't know what to say." He rubbed his face, suddenly looking very old and vulnerable. "Jaaid, could you please leave us alone and ensure we are not disturbed?"

"Will do," came the rather subdued reply. "Uhm, would now be a good time to say I'm sorry?"

They both ignored her as the silence deepened, each one not wanting to be the first to speak. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, Erik sighed.

"I might as well start from the beginning " the Mercenary began slowly, haltingly. "I charged up those steps fully expecting to die, only to be dropped immediately by a tranquilizer shot. Not a very noble end for an ex Marine, eh?"

He laughed gruffly at his own dark humor.

"By the time I came to I was already on a transport headed off world. They'd figured out pretty quickly that I was better suited as a fighter then a general labour type, and so I was spared the standard control chip and only got the dead switch."

He paused as Sebastian's eyebrow rose and again let loose with a harsh laugh.

"Exactly as it sounds kid. They put a tiny bomb in my head that would effectively end me whenever they wanted. It was a great incentive to stay as loyal and useful as I could. One thing the Batarians are great at is motivation!

"I lost everything. The only thing I could focus on was how to fight and survive just one more day. Hoping against hope that either I would be saved from this personal Hell that I had been thrust into or, more likely, that I would finally lose and end up just another corpse in the sand of the slave pits.

"It was actually more Batarians that saved me. Some inter-house raid or skirmish. House Ar'kam, really big on the slave emancipation thing. Long story short, the next thing I know my chip has been removed and I'm free."

Another bitter laugh.

"Free. Yeah what a joke. It took weeks to just stop the constant shaking. Months before I could make it through the night without screaming. And over a year before I made it back to Alliance space. It had been ten years! Y-you were no longer a boy but a man, your brother already a Lieutenant and Hannah. Oh God, Hannah. I just couldn't do it. I changed my name.

"Erik Hansson was a guy I had gone through Basic with. Good guy, solid, no family. Poor bugger bought it in our first deployment. I came to the Citadel and settled in, doing odd jobs throughout Council Space. You were better off. Trust me son, it was better this way."

"For who?" Sebastian's voice was a harsh rasp. "It was better this way for who?"

"Bastion," Erik pleaded, his voice cracking with emotion. "Please try to understand. I was in a dark place, still am in many ways. What kind of Father would I have been?"

"I guess we'll never know," Sebastian snarled angrily. "I don't care anymore. I don't want or need you in my life! I grew up just fine without you!" He turned and stormed out of the room, pausing at the hatchway. "When we get to Omega just-just go. Okay?"

As the hatch closed the old Mercenary fell to his knees with remorse and resentment..

She had really screwed up this time. After hastily dropping the feed to the gallery she had spent several moments mentally berating herself.

With a sigh, Jaaid busied herself on running diagnostics of the ship's operating systems. The endless lines of code always helped to calm and focus her.

A broken line flashed up at her and she instantly stopped scrolling.

COMMUNICATION LOG MESSAGE READS - SYNTAX ERROR - MESSAGE REDACTED. COMMUNICATION ORIGIN - SAD PANDA - DESTINATION - BEKENSTEIN - REROUTED- DESTINATION - ANHUR - REROUTED- DESTINATION - THESSIA - REROUTED - DESTINATION- EDEN PRIME - REROUTED

The lines of code continued and she doggedly followed it as it rerouting through forty systems in total before finally-

MESSAGE RECEIVED- OMEGA

Well that's interesting. Jaaid tried doing a trace to recover the original message but came up empty. Still somewhat preoccupied with the mess she had created between Erik and Sebastian, the pilot filed the code away for follow up and tried to settle her mind.

By the evening she had completely forgotten about it.

Sebastian wandered the ship corridors aimlessly. He knew that Lasiira was anxious and concerned for him but he wasn't ready for her. It was a selfish reason and he knew it but, as soon as they were melded and he could look at it from an outside perspective, all his defiance and anger would look petty.

He had his Father now. Right here. Why would he not forgive him?

Not really paying attention to where he was going, the Marine ended up within the dark bowels of the ship, under the main engines. Dim red lights flickered and he turned a corner to see a small alcove with, of all things, a couch.

The couch was occupied.

Manda regarded him warily for a moment before grunting and gesturing towards the seat beside her. With really nowhere else to go, Sebastian flopped down.

"You're definitely not who I expected to see way down here," he began. "I actually didn't expect anyone."

"Neither did I," came the deadpan reply.

They both sat in silence for a long time, lost in their own thoughts, before Manda finally cocked her head and regarded him thoughtfully.

"Had an interesting day?"

"That's putting it mildly," Sebastian sighed. "How did you know?"

"This isn't exactly a large ship," came the sarcastic reply. She stopped and shook her head. "No, that isn't fair. Makes you think that I was eavesdropping, which I wasn't. Jaaid told me. Some of it, not all."

She continued to look at him, the dim light causing her blue hair to shimmer a deep purple and her eyes to glitter darkly. It was a rather exotic look and Sebastian found himself regarding her in, quite literally, a different light.

"She likes you. And she's always curious. And wanting to help. And inserting herself into things she has no business being involved in." The girl grinned. "She's actually a complete pain in the ass now that I think about it. But she means well. And she's terrified that you hate her now."

Sebastian snorted as he stared up at the pipes above them, "I don't hate her. Heck, I haven't even seen her yet. Rather annoyed? Hell's yes. But hate her? No." He cast his eyes around, looking up at the ceiling again. "She's not listening is she?"

Manda laughed. It was a musical light laugh, the first time he had ever heard it, and he couldn't help but grin at her.

"No she's not. This is one of the few places on the ship that there is no intrusive little camera or intercom." She patted the couch cushion between them. "Which is why this is here. I sometimes need my own space as well and moved this beast down here several years ago." She grunted and shuddered from the memory. "Trust me, moving this thing was a bitch, even with biotics."

They both shared a small laugh before Manda once more watched him silently.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She held her arms up. "If you feel the need to unload on someone I'm not going anywhere."

"I guess it's the fact that he made the choice for me, for us." Sebastian's voice was slow and halting, the pain evident. "For all of us. My Mother and Marcus. But mostly though it's me! He was my father! He was still alive and he didn't come back to me!" Anger now overrode everything as he turned towards her and threw a fist at the wall behind them. "How dare he! What gives him the right to decide what's best for me? I lost my father! I thought he was dead. I've lived for the last ten years thinking that he had died and now he waltzes right back in? Maybe he should have-"

He stopped suddenly as Manda brought up a finger to his lips. Her dark eyes were sad as she looked at him but there was also a trace of anger.

"I'm going to have to stop you Sebastian. I know you're hurting and want to lash out at everyone but you need to stop right now because it just sounds like a tantrum from a spoiled, selfish boy."

Sebastian's face went indignant and, for a moment, it looked like he was about to lash out at her but stopped. Instead he sighed. "You're right. It is selfish. Why did I flip out? I don't know really. Panic I guess? How else was I supposed to react? Wrap him in a hug and go I've missed you dad?"

He laughed harshly.

"Not sure which one of us would have been more freaked out by that. I had thought that I'd finally made peace with my past. I was still a Tanner but, in my heart, I was a Shepard. Hannah and Marcus were all that I had left. But now? I'm just not able to process something that I thought was lost but is now right in front of me."

Manda took his hand and brought it up to her chest and he started when her realized her heart was hammering. A tear trickled down her cheek. Her voice was soft, barely registering over the humming of the pipes.

"Let me tell you a story. A story about a young girl who was happy with her life. She lived on a beautiful world, she had an incredible, loving family and she had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who she was beginning to think she loved. A boyfriend that seemed to be as much into her as she was into him. Life could not get any better. And in one night, one horrible soul destroying night, everything changed."

Letting go of his hand, Manda pulled up her shirt to bare her midriff and Sebastian gasped as he saw the network of scars that criss crossed her waist.

"I look at these scars everyday. I can tell you when I received each and every one. I can describe the pain I felt during each of them. I also just wished I could die." She clasped his hand again firmly. "I know exactly what Erik went through! Every painful moment. Even Lasiira bares her scars from her time in that monster's clutches, and I'm sure she has shared them with you. But, for you it's different. It's like you're watching a horror movie. You can see the scars and damage, even relive the moments that they happened, but you can't feel it! You can't feel this!"

Her face was grim as he stared mutely back at her.

"I'm sorry Sebastian. I-I'm so-I didn't mean to-. Ahh hell, whatever." Manda laughed mirthlessly. "There is a major difference between Erik and me. He still held on to who he was. The whole time he held out hope that he would see you, either in person or whatever awaits us on the other side. Me? I became a biotic slave leashed to a psychopath that I would do anything for. Holdrek, Jaaid, Wankaygee, they became my family. They put the broken pieces of me back together and helped me become who I am today. Raik Manda, daughter of Holdrek, Chieftain of Clan Raik."

She said the last words proudly, sitting upright and once more covering herself.

"Certain people and things still set me off though. Triggers, either from my remembered past or drilled into me by force, that cause me to lash out."

"Like what happened when you first saw me?" Sebastian asked. "Did I remind you of something from your past?"

She turned away a moment, hiding her face as she struggled to keep it together and not let him see the pain.

"Y-yes. The past. But not you! I mean not you as in Sebastian Shepard. Wait!" Manda slapped her thigh as she whirled to face him again. "The uniform! Yes. That. Everything it represents. Where were the Marines when our world-worlds were raided? Where were our protectors?"

Manda sighed, "It wasn't fair to you, Sebastian, but that was how I felt when I saw your squad on the slave ship, all pristine and immaculate. It just triggered me and it's why I still seem hostile. Sometimes."

The girl leaned back on the couch, angling towards him as she took his arm and brought it around her shoulders.

"My family has grown lately. More people that I can trust to see me for who I am. A broken girl struggling to keep herself together and stay strong. There's now Jahla, so strong and sure of herself; Heffi, who could be incredible if she overcame her self doubt. And then there's Lasiira, Erik a-and you Sebastian. You're part of my family now but Erik? He's your father and he's in pain. You need to make this right."

She patted his arm as Sebastian tightened it around her, bringing his face in contact with the back of her head and giving her a soft kiss.

"Thank you Manda. I think I had to be reminded that I'm not the only one that's lost something. I need to fix this. I-." He paused, his breath hitching a moment and the arm around her tightened before he explosively exhaled.

Manda tried to keep her eyes averted lest he see the tears streaming down her face, but her hope was for naught as he pulled away and dropped to his knees in front of her. His eyes were wide with emotion as he stared up at her.

"How could I have been so stupid?" He asked her quietly. "I didn't even see what was right in front of me! I-I'm, I don't know what to say." He closed his eyes to collect his thoughts before taking Manda's hand at clasping it to his cheek, "I understand now. I'm an idiot."

Manda smiled sadly. "You always were Bastian, even as-"

"A boy." He finished for her. "The loved ones and memories that you both clung to in order to survive for years. They continued with their lives. Some just moving forwards and others, like me, building up a huge amount of resentment wishing for what might have been."

He looked back up at her, expression bittersweet.

"Except life is always changing. It's never what you want or wish it to be. It just is. So," Sebastian let go of her hand and kneeled back as she stood up,"where do we go from here?"

Manda offered him a hand to stand as well before enveloping him in a hug.

"We move forwards," she said firmly. "We can't go back to the way things were before but we can move forward with a new hope and direction." She pulled away and slugged him in the arm, "and you'd better fix this with your father! Now!"

Sebastian grinned as he rubbed the spot she had hit. "As you wish," he winked.