Chapter one

The feeling of a cool hand rubbing my back causes me to take in a breath as I realize it's just Mary as I relax a bit. My head hurts so bad,the angels are talking again,and it's really bad,I can't barely stand it,it's already made me throw up once. "Easy Jack,I know baby,shh,just breathe through it,I'm here,I'm not going anywhere"she murmurs softly as I finally muster up the energy to look up at her. I've been sitting,with my back more or less against the wall,leaned forward with my head against my knees. Claire found me,figured something was up when the lights started flickering on and off,it's not really my fault,I can't help it,when the angel radio kicks in,and came to check on me. She tried to help me,she was there while I threw up,rubbed my back,and made sure I drank some water after,then went to go find Jodi or Mary,she ended up finding Mary. It's just me with the women right now,Sam and Dean are out on a hunt,there was no need for them to go with them,and it was just better for me to stay in the bunker with them,and I'm now glad I did.

"It hurts,it feels like someone is just pounding against my head and it won't stop"I murmur as I feel her run a cool hand through my sweat soaked hair. "I know sweetheart,it looks like you got a migraine,or the equivalent that nephillim can get,you'll be ok,we'll get you cleaned up,give you some medicine,then get you in bed alright"she murmurs as I nod,looking at her with innocent sea green eyes,"OK"I murmur too tired to say much else. I trust her,she's a mom,so she's safe,I know she's Sam and Dean's mom first and foremost,but she's been like a mom to me though,which I need sometimes,especially in times like these when I'm in pain,and I don't know why.

I sense her reach over me and she turns on the faucet in the bath tub,and checks the the temperature,making sure it's not too hot for me. Then she get's up,and leaves the room for a moment. I know she has to get a new change of pjamas for me,so I just wait,and after a few moments she comes back,and set's the pjs on the counter,and places a folded towel beside it. Then she checks the temperature one more time,then shuts the water off. "Alright sweetheart,I'm going to help you get undressed and in the tub alright,is it ok if I touch you,I know when I've had migraines in the past it hurt me to be touched"she murmurs kneeling down beside me,"I t-think I'm ok"I murmur as I let her help me get my shirt off,then she does the same with my pants and socks,she leaves my boxers on to give me some sense of privacy. I let her help me get up,and she helps me get into the tub,and the warm almost hot water feels pleasant.

I lean back,and try to relax,trusting her,trusting she'll keep me safe and take care of me. I see her go to the cabinet and grab a fresh wash cloth,then she kneels down by the tub,so she's down on my level. The pain is more manageable right now,it still hurts like hell,but I'm at least not hearing voices,meaning I can focus on her talking to me. I see her wet the cloth,then she washes me down,being ever so gentle,looking at the few scars that mar my pure skin. I have one on my collarbone from where a demon cut me and I didn't heal,so they had to stitch me up,another one on my stomach,that came from the other world,where Michael more or less tried to gut me,it didn't work,someone got me free before he managed to do more,but it was still bad,it was bloody,and nasty. It was torture,they had to get everything just right,then sew me back up,and then I had a long several days of healing. "Are you hearing the voices any more honey"she asks softly gently stroking my cheek to get my attention. "Not really,they've toned down some,I can only hear one or two distinct ones"I murmur, "that's good,I'm going to have you lean back so I can wash your hair alright"she murmurs softly. "That sounds good"I murmur softly as I let her lean me back and she get's my hair wet. She's real gentle,she massages my scalp,which feels really pleasant,puts shampoo in it,and rinses it out. She does the same with the conditioner,and then we're done. She helps me get up,then helps me dry off,then she holds the towel in front of me,to give me some privacy as I change my boxers,then I get into my t shirt and pajama pants.

She then gives me some medication,I take it,knowing that its probably meant to help me with the pain,then she guides me to my bed. It's late,I know that,mainly because I'm tired,I get tired if it's too late for me. We get to my bed,and it's freshly made,meaning Claire probably did it,and she helps me get in,tucking me in,pulling the blanket to my chest. I see there's a bottle of Gatorade on the nightstand,again Claire's doing,she's dealt with my migraines from the angel radio before,so she knows what I like,what I need,what helps me,what doesn't help me. "I know you probably don't feel like it right now honey,but I need you to drink some of the Gatorade before you go to sleep alright"she murmurs carding a cool hand through my hair,"Ok"I murmur as I let her sit me up against the pillows. I see her grab the bottle,it has red liquid in it,so it's the kind that I like,which is good,and she holds the bottle up to my lips. I take a few sips,and it's all I can handle at one time.

"Alright your done for now honey,how about you try to get some sleep alright,I'm going to stay right here,just let me know if you need anything"she murmurs as she helps me lay down on my side and adjusts the covers so I'm comfortable,then kisses me on the head. I snuggle down under the covers,and get comfortable,as I feel her lay down beside me. I close my eyes,I'm so tired,hoping nightmares don't plague me tonight,they sometimes do,sometimes they don't. I usually do better if I know someone is in the room with me,or if I have some sort of light on,usually a nightlight,or the bathroom light if we're on the road,it's comforting to me,makes me feel safe,makes me remember I'm not in the bad place anymore. The last thing I feel is her rubbing my back,and before I know it I'm out like a light.