"How's married life?"

The words drew Clarke out of her notes and up at the man she's been avoiding like the plague. "G—good."

"Still in the honeymoon phase?"

Clarke looked around the café to see if there was a reason Bellamy walked in aside from goading her into another inane argument. They hadn't talked in a year, since the night she got engaged and she couldn't blame him for avoiding her, or Finn for that matter.

"We don't have to do this, Bellamy," she said softly, mostly because she didn't want to, but also because she knew it'd hurt him more if they did.

"It was over a year ago, Princess, I'm over you."

"Good."

"Yeah, good," he said with indignation, his jaw ticking. "Just like married life apparently."

"Why are you asking about it?"

"I've been thinking about it, getting married that is."

Clarke furrowed her brows together, he's been dating? "Wait, to who?"

"Gina, my date to your wedding."

"You were at my wedding?"

"I guess that means Finn invited me. I was wondering after what I said."

"I didn't know."

"I didn't know what to get you so I gave you money, generic. I guess that meant he wrote the thank you card too."

"No, my mom, or rather her assistant. Finn and I were in Greece for two weeks," she lowered her head, knowing the betrayal that was Greece. They'd talked about going, one of the few times they actually talked. A surprise from Finn.

Bellamy scoffed, obviously remembering, "You really don't see what he's doing, do you? We were friends, Clarke, and now you can barely look at me."

"Maybe if you didn't ruin my engagement day, I wouldn't..."

"You wouldn't be avoiding me? Did you tell him what I said?"

"It doesn't matter, I already knew."

"And you're still with him? Clarke, you could be so much happier!"

"Why do you care? We're not friends, we were never friends, Bellamy. Just go back to your girlfriend and stop worrying about my marriage!"

His nose flared and Clarke knew he was holding back, not wanting to say something he'd regret. Did he regret what he said to her last year? Did he mean it? Was he just trying to get what he couldn't have?

Four Years Ago:

The door swung open, slamming into the wall and the tornado that was Octavia Blake stormed into the room, demanding the attention of her predisposed roommate. "Clarke, you just finished your midterm and there's a game today against Poly and—"

Clarke sighed, putting her book down, "For the hundredth time, Octavia, I don't care about rugby."

Octavia plopped down on Clarke's bed right next to her, straight onyx hair cascading down her back. "You really should, the team is fine this year."

"Your brother is on the team."

"Okay, my bisexual bestie, I'm hot, right?"

Clarke rolled her eyes, seeing where it was going before it even started. "Even if I were straight, I'd say yes. He could be the Rusty to your Casey."

"We have amazing genes and did you seriously just reference Greek?"

"Weird and yes," she smirked.

"Woman after my own heart. Anyway, including and aside from my brother, our rugby team is fucking hot."

"Is Oski going to be there?"

"Probably," O said, getting off the bed and yanked off her shirt to change, staring at her options in their shared closet.

"Fine, but be aware that I have no idea what I'd be watching."

"I will explain everything."

Clarke rolled her eyes, "Sweater?"

"Will get colder, especially going to the victory party."

"Victory party?"

Octavia smiled, "They're really good!"

An hour later Clarke stood in the stands next to Octavia cheering on the team that just scored. For the past thirty minutes Clarke heard words like maul and ruck and try and she had no idea what any of it meant aside from the fact that it's almost the same as football but somehow rougher and she liked it, though knew nothing about it.

"Who's that?" Clarke noticing one of the guys on their team.

"Hair? Collins, he's—he's Collins. I really don't know anything about him, Bell definitely has an opinion so we're not going to ask him because he's a grumpy asshole that hates everyone but me and I'm not looking at any of the guys on our team. Mm," Octavia bit her lip. "Tattoos," she smiled.

Clarke laughed, of course Octavia would pick the one person Bellamy would hate more than he did Atom who transferred across the country after a single semester.

It's been nine months and Clarke has managed to avoid the overbearing big bother of her dorm mate and she intended on making it through a whole year, but she's at his game and she immediately recognized him, even from a distance, even only seeing the picture of him on Octavia's desk as he's trying to hide from the camera.

And yes, she's looking at Finn because she already knows too much about Bellamy to find him attractive under the skin, so pretty boy Finn will work for now, at a distance.

A distance.

Of course with thinking that, she jinxed herself and at the victory party she ran into him and he's smooth and he brought her around introducing her to people and aside from Octavia, he was the first person Clarke felt herself with since her father died.

"Blake!" he called suddenly and Clarke froze. She knew Octavia went to find the Poly guy, there was some camaraderie between the two teams that Clarke thought was weird, but she also knew nothing about rugby so who was she to judge?

"Collins, what happened out there?" a gruff voice asked, not fond at all, and Clarke recognized key features of the man's face from the picture on her roommate's desk, the freckles, scar on his upper lip, and his hands, how did she notice his hands already?

"It was a fumble. You really think I'd purposely initiate a ruck?"

"It's you, intentional or not, it's usually your fault."

"Right. This is Clarke, O's roommate."

"You've been ducking me for months, Princess," Bellamy smirked and Clarke grimaced. She knew he wasn't an easy person to get along with but the first thing he does is insult her.

"Right, because people flock to meet you after hearing all the shit you put your sister through."

She fought with him the rest of the night, Finn walking her home and asking her out, impressed on how she held up against Bellamy.

"Hey, babe," Finn said walking into the apartment hours later, kissing Clarke's temple and trying not to distract her from studying.

"Hey," she closed the textbook. "You invited Bellamy to our wedding?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You saw the guest list."

"No, I didn't. My mom handled my half and I really didn't think Bellamy would have been on your half."

"We were on the same team, princess. I thought you were friends anyway."

"He told me not to marry you."

"Yeah, Raven mentioned something like that."

Clarke grimaced, "Raven?"

"We were friends long before we were romantic, you know that."

"That doesn't mean I'm okay with you talking to her."

"I thought you trusted me."

"I do."

"You clearly don't. I married you, I picked you!" Finn yelled and Clarke cringed. "This isn't about me, it's Bellamy. You want to screw him."

"No, that's—you want to screw Raven."

"No."

"Then what the hell is this, Finn? Accusing me, you know what they say when your partner accuses you of cheating, right? That they're the ones cheating."

"How would you feel about an open marriage?"

"Open marriage?"

"Yes. Sex with other people but emotions with each other."

"That's what you want? We haven't even been married three months and you want to fuck other people!"

"It's for your benefit, if we sleep with other people, we can bring new ideas into the bedroom."

"So I'm not good enough."

"No, Clarke, you are, but don't you want more than what we have?"

Clarke grimaced, they did hit a dry spell, he hasn't been getting her there like he used to, not for a while, so…

"Okay."

Finn raised an eyebrow, "Okay?"

"Yeah, just we don't talk about them or say who they are and they have to know it's not serious that we are together and it's just sex. They also have to be clean and we're both home every night and it never happens here."

"Sounds reasonable."

Clarke nodded, reasonable. Nothing about this was reasonable or a good idea, frankly, she hated it, but what was she going to do? She knew Finn, knew he'd eventually do it behind her back so why can't she do it too?

That Friday, Clarke went out with Octavia, they do it once a month since graduation, keeping their friendship afloat.

"Why are you so quiet tonight?" O asked, she's been talking about her own wedding plans since they sat at the bar and all Clarke did was nod and offer some advice, whatever she could because her wedding was her mother's idea of what Clarke's wedding should be and nothing like what she actually wanted.

But Clarke's mind also drifted to her conversation with her husband Tuesday night. She hasn't told anyone—should she tell anyone?—and then she wondered if she should try hooking up with someone because the likeliness of Finn being with Raven while she spoke to Octavia.

"What?"

"What's weighing on your mind?"

Clarke debated coming clean and telling O, but she didn't know how to start it. She didn't know what to say.

"Do you like Finn?"

"Um…"

"As a person, as my husband, do you think I made a mistake?"

"Clarke, it's not my place to—"

"I know, but we had a fight and he accused me of cheating and I turned the tables on him with that saying about the accuser being the offender and he turned it into asking for an open marriage and I've just been picturing him with her since."

"And how do you feel about it?"

"I don't know? I just gave him the green light to go screw whoever he wants and I don't want to screw anyone."

"I doubt that."

"I married him, I thought I'd be with him forever. That's why people get married."

"I thought it was because it'd be financially better for you in med school."

"Yeah, but I didn't think he'd want to be with anyone else."

"Do you not want to be with him anymore with this? You can get an annulment, you can—"

"I don't know, O. My life has flipped on it's head within a year, do you really think another change would do me any good?"

"It'd be fixing a mistake. You can move in with me, Lincoln's roommate is moving out when their lease is up and he was going to move into mine because my lease is longer. But his is bigger so you could take over mine and I'll move in with him at his and renew."

"I don't know, O. I haven't thought about it, really. I'm just confused about it all."

"Confused about what?" she heard behind her and Clarke whipped her head around to find Bellamy standing behind her with a gorgeous brunette on his arm.

"What are you doing here?"

"We always come here on Friday nights," he said and Clarke wondered how long "always" was. "Clarke Griffin, or is it Collins now?"

"Griffin."

"Clarke, Gina Martin. Gina, this is Clarke."

"The wedding," Gina smiled and shook Clarke's hand. "It was a beautiful ceremony."

Bellamy scoffed, getting an elbow from both Gina and Octavia. "You didn't take his name."

"It's 2017, Bellamy, women don't have to take their hus—husband's name."

"Yeah," he smirked, draping his arm around Gina's shoulders. "Gina Blake has a good ring to it."

Clarke looked down at Gina's left hand, finding a ring on her finger. "Congratulations."

"You give some good advice, Princess."

Clarke glared at Bellamy. Advice, she hadn't talked to him in a year and when she did, she definitely didn't give him any advice.

"Wouldn't want to dampen your evening with boring married life. It was nice meeting you, Gina. Sorry we didn't meet at my wedding."

"Well, Bellamy said he's Finn's friend and you two hated each other so—"

"Did he? I explicitly remember telling him he was one of my best friends, weird," Clarke grimaced, placing forty dollars on the bar and walked out, hoping Octavia followed her.

"What the hell was that, Clarke?"

"I saw Bellamy three days ago and he proposed to her. He said he was thinking about it."

"Wait, you guys talked, like really talked?"

"No, he was being condescending and I wasn't having it. Just like now, I don't know who he thinks he is but—"

"He's in love with you, Clarke."

"He's engaged."

"He loves Gina, I can't say he doesn't but he's in love with you, there's a difference."

"I'm married."

"I know, and he told you how he felt when Finn proposed and you ripped his heart out."

"He didn't tell me anything. He told me not to marry Finn, he told me about his affair with Raven which I already knew about. If he was in love with me then why the hell didn't he just tell me so?"

"Because he can't have a broken heart if he doesn't put it out there."

"And my wedding, he could have objected but because he's afraid of getting hurt he didn't?"

"There were a lot of factors at your wedding. Gina, Finn's threat, you didn't even know he was there."

"If he wanted to protect me he should have made a scene, embarrassed Finn in front of his whole family."

"He's not selfish, Clarke. He just wants you to be happy."

Clarke swallowed the bile rising in her throat. She didn't know, but everyone else did, Finn did and used it, used Clarke and Greece and it made her sick to think about... or she could be drunk.

Days passed and Clarke was at the grocery store when she ran into Raven and Gina talking like there was no tomorrow.

"I swear, it was the dirtiest thing but God, he knows what he's doing," Raven cooed before noticing Clarke at the end of the aisle looking at the paper towels on sale. "Hey, Clarke."

"Raven, Gina."

The look on their faces was priceless, or Clarke would have thought so if she wasn't married to the man Raven was gushing over.

Clarke knew in that moment that Raven didn't know about the open marriage she'd agreed to nearly a week ago so after putting the paper towels in her cart Clarke walked down the aisle towards them and she walked past, barely a yard before stopping and stepping into Raven's space. "I know," she said simply, no fervor just a simple statement before continuing her grocery shopping.

"What the hell, Clarke?" she heard stirring her grandmother's spaghetti sauce. "You threatened Raven!"

"What did I say about talking about our extracurricular activities in the house?" she countered, turning towards him, grabbing the garlic and turned back to the stove. "Are you hungry?"

"I'm not talking about fucking her, I'm talking about you threatening her!"

"But I didn't. I was grocery shopping and she was gushing to Gina about how hard and rough you are with her and how ohh-mazing it is and I just happened to hear it. Now, she didn't say your name but it was obvious the moment she recognized me and all I said was 'I know' and I'm pretty sure that isn't a threat. Don't you agree?"

"Clarke, you shouldn't have said anything."

"Right," she scoffed. "I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't have forgiven you. Hell, I shouldn't have fucking married you."

"That's how you feel?" the look on his face somehow looked betrayed and slightly broken.

"Right now when my husband is accusing me of threatening his mistress, yes."

"Have you had an affair yet?"

"I just wrapped my head around your infidelity. No, I haven't and honestly, this ring is a problem."

"So don't wear it."

A blow to the gut, that's what those words felt like to Clarke. Don't wear your wedding ring, he doesn't care.

"The moment I take this ring off is the moment our marriage is over. So tell me, Finn, why did you ask me to marry you? Why did you go through with it if you're going to keep fucking around?"

"I love you."

"Do you? Jesus, Finn, if you loved me, you wouldn't have asked for an open marriage so you can go fuck your high school girlfriend."

Two Years Ago:

"How can you stand him?" Finn asked glaring at Bellamy from across the room.

"Me? You played rugby with him for years, how did you stand him?"

"We were teammates, we didn't have to like each other."

"But you still withstood his presence during every practice and game."

"Does he stay over?"

"What?"

"When he walks you and O home, does he stay over?"

"On the couch sometimes, when he's too drunk to walk home after the bar, yeah. Why does it matter?"

"I don't trust him with you."

"Excuse me?"

"What?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Then stop worrying about him, I don't like him like that. You see us when we're together, we're at each other's throats. We don't like each other."

"You know what that's called, right? Sexual tension. He checks you out all the time too."

"But you trust me. You trust that I won't let anything happen?"

"Of course, just don't be alone with him."

Clarke rolled her eyes and walked away, she couldn't deal with Finn's insecurities anymore. She walked into the kitchen to get another drink and found Bellamy at the keg.

"Thirsty, Princess?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Shoot."

"Outside."

"We're being serious now? Can I bring my beer?"

"Yeah, fill me up first."

Bellamy smirked, taking her cup from her and filled it before following her out the back door onto the patio.

"Having fun?"

"Bellamy," she sighed, shaking her head.

"What?" he smiled, nudging her with his shoulder. He's tipsy, he has to be.

"Doesn't matter, you're not sober."

"Sober enough. What's going on?"

"Finn thinks you flirt with me."

"Finn thinks a lot of things, who cares?"

"Finn doesn't trust us together."

"So the first thing you do after finding that out is corner me in the backyard?"

"I'm serious, Bellamy."

"So am I. What are we doing here then if your owner doesn't want you to be here?"

Clarke grimaced at him, "Owner?"

"You're his pet, right? Owners can have more than one pet."

"Fuck you, Bellamy," she yelled and pulled away heading back inside but his hand on her wrist stopped it.

"I'm an ass, we know that, but I really don't like how he treats you, okay?"

"Is that what it is, Bell? Because if it's more, I'd need to know to navigate the situation better."

Bellamy squared his shoulders and looked Clarke directly in the eyes, "If I wanted you, Princess, I'd already have you."

Clarke opened her mouth to say something but what was there to say to that? Bellamy walked back into the house without a word.