Chapter 14

The Fig Jam kiss haunted me for a week. I didn't say anything about it to Logan, to Tina, to my parents, to anyone. I was too confused about what it meant, if anything. To Logan, it was clearly a joke. He hadn't mentioned it at all, but the cavalier way he brushed the whole thing off that night, and the way he hadn't made a move on me since, was clear as day. But for me, well I thought about it pretty much every minute of every day. I considered asking Mr. WonderWharf about it but figured since he was actually interested in me, maybe it would be best if I didn't talk about my confusing sexual attraction to my best friend, another guy. Instead I just dreamed about it, daydreamed about it, and let myself be driven to distraction because it consumed my thoughts. It wasn't until I spilled coffee on the counter as I over-filled Mort's mug that I realized how unfocused I really was.

"Oh damn! Sorry, Mort." I cleaned up the spill and stopped letting myself get so wrapped up in my own head. It worked pretty well, until that evening when Logan dropped by for dinner before karaoke night, as he usually did. When I saw him, my stomach did a somersault. I felt excited and nauseated at the same time. I knew this feeling. I only ever felt this way about one other guy before. Fortunately for me, he was unattainable so that crush was able to die a silent death like it deserved. Logan... Logan was right there. Logan was waving me over to his table to chat. Logan was my best friend. We drank together, we sang bad karaoke together, we laughed together.

'Dammit feelings, shut up!' I told myself. All those thoughts and feelings and wishes, I balled up and stuffed into a mental hole, covered the hole with a very fat man, and then gave that mental fat man orders to never move. Ever.

Then Logan smiled at me. Fat man gone. Feelings everywhere.

After karaoke, after switching from Cyndi Lauper to Blondie, and after the place had cleared out, Logan and I were sitting at the bar, I decided it was now or never. I was going to say something, for real. No songs, no subtle attempts. Just honesty.

The four tequila shots and the four beers were also a huge factor in this decision.

"Logan, can I talk to you about something?" I started. He looked up from his phone and gazed straight through me, as if he had forgotten that I was there this whole time.

"Louise! I'm doing it!" He slurred to me, eyes slightly unfocused and his lopsided grin foolishly smeared on his face.

"Doing what, Logan?" I was more interested in where this was going than I was in embarrassing myself. Or maybe I was chicken. Or maybe both. "Getting that pony you always dreamed of?"

"No!" He laughed and swayed on his barstool. "I'm going to get her!"

"Her who?" My stomach dropped into my shoes, but I let it fall and pretended everything was fine.

"The girl, Louise. My girl. My perfect dream girl. After all this time I've spent wooing her and romanshing...romansering..." His drunk tongue was tied into knots.

"Romancing?" I suggested.

"YES! THAT!" His face light up with his million-dollar smile. He grabbed my shoulders, perhaps to emphasize his point, perhaps to steady himself, and practically shouted in my face, despite being only about a foot away because he was leaning off stool, "She's the one, Louise. I've known if from the first time I saw her. And tonight, I'm gonna finally ask her out." He started furiously texting his "one true love."

I watched him try to formulate the perfect proposition for a date and couldn't help but chuckle to myself a little. I also decided that I was done trying, Fig Jam kiss be damned. He was happy, and I was going to let it be. I was going to swallow my feelings and just stop hoping Logan would see me as anything other than L.B.B. When someone knew you as a little kid, I figured that's how they would always see you. To him, I was a drinking buddy, the food bringer, the little kid he saved from the fire. And that's all I would be, ever. I would have to be alright with that.

*Chirp* That was Mr. WonderWharf's text sound. I was too bleary eyed to try and talk to him tonight, but I could do one thing for my friend.

"Logan, why don't you save that message? Wait until tomorrow morning. When you're sober." I reached for Logan's phone, but he pulled it out of my reach. I was too tired to fight but I did give him "Aunt Weezy" meanie eyes that worked so well with Sebastian.

He sighed and slipped his phone into his back pocket. "You're right. It can wait." He snaked his arm around my shoulder and hugged me. "Thanks for looking out for me, buddy." That epithet was the last nail in the coffin of my hope for a romance. I let it hammer down and just smiled and shrugged off his arm.

"Lay off, you oaf. Go home." On karaoke nights, Logan always walked. Joe met my eye and called Logan a cab. I walked him outside and sat him on the curb. As the cab pulled up the street, I left him there, figuring he could get in the car and home without supervision, and went back inside for one last drink and to close out the tab.

"Thanks Joe, " I said as I pulled the money out of my wallet. "Good night, as always,"

Joe just grunted, as always. And then I want back home alone, as always.

Hey BG. You know, this little digital flirt of ours has been going on a while now. Why don't we meet face to face and see if we can talk in person? Mr. WonderWharf's message hung in the air between us. I couldn't answer it, not yet. Not until I got my emotions under control.

Logan messaged that he would be in for lunch that day. I figured that if I could get through the meal and not want to punch myself in the gut, I could answer Mr. W. He should be there any minute. I left my phone on the counter and took a moment to go to the bathroom. When I came back-

"LOGAN BARRY BUSH! DROP THAT CELL PHONE!" Logan was busy typing on my phone and I could only imagine the mess he made, the disaster I would have to deal with. I rushed over to him and snatched my phone from his hands.

"Hey, did you even wash your hands?" Logan tried to joke with me. I smacked the back of his skull, and at the same time, I looked to see what he had typed.

I would love that, Mr. W. How about tonight, by the entrance to Wonder Wharf? And the worst part? *Sent*

"You're dead. I will kill you, grind you up, and serve you to customers, Logan." I stared at him with my jaw clenched and knuckles white.

"Hey- you need some excitement in your life and Mr. WonderWharf makes you smile. I was only doing what you would have done anyway! Now we both have dates tonight!" I was taken aback while I unraveled what that meant.

"Your soul mate said yes?"

"As of a little while ago, yes. I'm meeting her tonight. Tonight, we are going on our first date!" Logan was practically floating, so I just let it go. I looked back at my phone, at the message he sent. I guess I was going on a date.

Thirty minutes later saw me in the arms of my mother and sister. Logan had called Mom and dragged me upstairs and handed me off to them for a first date makeover. I vowed to murder him later. Mom tried at least four different hairstyles before I tore the brush from her hands and pinned it into a bun. Tina had gathered every article of clothing both she and I owned and lay them all out on my bed and the floor and basically every surface in my room. In the end she put me in a creamy pink sweater and one of her silk skirts. Mom forced me to sit and let her slather make-up on my face. Tina kept rubbing my legs and asking if I was sure I didn't want to shave my legs again, even though I had shaved the day before, so I finally gave in and just did it to shut her up.

Eventually they released me from their clutches and I walked down the road to the Wonder Wharf. I was trying to convince myself to not give up my small shred of hope that this wouldn't be a disaster when I saw something that made my heart stop.

Logan, wearing my ears.

"What are you doing here, Logan?" I managed to stammer out. "I thought you had a date with your dream girl."

"I'm here. With her- with you." I didn't know what to say to that, so I just stood there, looking at him. "Louise, I've been crazy about you since we were stupid kids. That fight we had here, when I said all those awful things to you... I never forgave myself. I tried to move on, I got married for Christ sake! But I was never happy. And then I saw you, I saw you in New York, standing with that statue of the little girl. You were standing next to her, side by side, you against the world, and I knew then- my marriage was over." My jaw dropped open like a fish. He saw me in New York? He smiled and lifted my chin back up with his hand, gentle but strong. "Yeah, I knew that if I was so happy just looking at you for a brief moment, happier than I had ever been in my relationship with Megan, then it was useless to try to make it work with her.

" But I figured you hated me. Then that night you got arrested showed me that maybe I was wrong. Maybe, if I could still inspire such a fire in you that you beat up public property because you were so angry, well... maybe there was hope. I started to think that maybe I stood a chance, if I planned and was careful.

"Then when you needed to renew the lease, I took my shot. I figured if I could become your friend, maybe I could get close enough to try to win you. It was so hard to just sit back and watch you date those losers. That's why I made your BurgerGal account. I made Mr. WonderWharf that same day.

"And then, you sang to me-" I blushed deeply, harder than I had been before.

"That night, with Rudy..."

"Yeah, I was going to say something then, but I saw how well you reacted to a big public declaration. So, I went back to Plan A. To Mr. WonderWharf. And then you never answered my damn message!" He threw up his hands in mock anger. "So today, I made the choice for you. I couldn't keep it to myself anymore. I want to be with you Louise Beatrice Belcher. I'm crazy about you- I think I'm even in love with you-"

"I love you too, Logan Barry Bush." I replied before he could say anything else. Everything I had ever dreamed about when I thought about romance was right here. My best friend, someone who knew me, someone who understood me. Suddenly everything was perfect, and no more words were necessary.

I threw my arms around his neck and planted my lips on his. It wasn't our first kiss, but it was my favorite.