Summary: In the first Avengers movie, Loki implied that he could wield the Tesseract. I say we give him the opportunity. An Infinity War AU for those who wanted to see Loki play a larger role. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I am in no competition with Marvel or Disney for ownership. If I owned these characters, I clearly would have done things differently.

Author's Note: I hope I never called this a "fix-it" fic at any time. Regarding the rather tragic turn this story has taken, I must say that Loki's death in IW didn't surprise me by any means, and I won't be surprised whether Marvel ultimately brings him back or leaves him dead. I just hated that he and Thor had so little time to enjoy their healing relationship. Hence the need for this self-indulgent, therapeutic AU, and my sincere thanks goes to those readers who have stuck with me all the way to the end. So grab those tissues, and I'll meet you at the conclusion.

Space and Time

Chapter 10

The Guardians had been gone for over a month, and Loki still found it difficult speaking to Thor. It appeared his brother was avoiding him, trying to ignore the inescapable truth. Loki then began to consider: what if he should have died back on that ship after all, and every moment he'd lived since then was virtually borrowed time? Would it have been any easier for Thor that way?

At last, he drew a bit of inspiration from Stark and sought Thor out with a bottle and two glasses in hand, for surely good alcohol was the universal equalizer.

He found him in one of T'Challa's private arbors and greeted, "Here you are, Brother. You see, I did save some of that Alfheim wine for you." It felt like nothing less than a peace offering, which wasn't far from the truth.

Thor stiffly accepted the drink, though he actually smiled at the bright, sweet taste of it. "This honeyed wine," he observed with pleasant surprise. "My favorite."

"I know." Personally, Loki preferred a wine with richer, more complex notes. "Think of it as my gift to you."

"A parting gift?" Thor's smile had vanished, and just like that, the comfortable moment shattered.

Loki drained his glass and likewise dropped any pretense of camaraderie; he had hoped for better with this visit. "I really don't know what you want from me now, Thor. Can't we just make the most of whatever time we have left together?"

"No! I will not watch you die again, Brother."

"Then I suggest you be in a different room when it happens." He turned to leave.

"I'm serious, Loki!" Thor grabbed the younger god's arm to detain him, and the Aether shoved him back against the far wall with a flare of crimson. Loki hadn't raised a finger.

"So am I, Thor; there is no reversing this. You had best come to terms with it as I have."

"I don't want to 'come to terms' with it. I want you!"

A whisper, "And how often does the universe deprive us of that one thing we most desire?"

Thor's proud shoulders tensed. "We have had this conversation before; and I tell you again, surrender is not in my nature."

Loki sighed bitterly and shook his head. "Please, Brother, your stubborn refusal to let me go only makes this worse for both of us. At least there will be plenty of time to say goodbye, once you acknowledge the need to do so."

"Too much time; goodbyes aren't supposed to last this long." The Thunderer drooped a little, discouraged, but he had one more tactic to try. "On Nidavellir, you said that you wouldn't let me get myself killed in some heroically suicidal act. Why is this any different, now that our roles are reversed?"

"Because my heroically suicidal act is already finished. There is nothing left for you to prevent." Loki's expression then softened, as he pondered the gentlest way to phrase what must come next. "I can see what you're thinking, Brother. But the moon has no light of its own without the sun, whereas the sun shines on regardless of whether or not there is a moon to reflect its light. Don't you dare wish our places were exchanged."

Thor hung his head and shuffled closer so he could pull his sibling into a tight hug. He sounded dejected and defeated now, whispering into the other's ear, "Loki, I know you couldn't bear to watch me suffer, back on that ship. What makes you think I'll be any stronger when faced with your suffering?"

"You've always been the strong one." He squeezed Thor's arms as they withdrew from the embrace and tried to raise their spirits by reverting to a more light-hearted tone. "Besides, I don't know that I'll be 'suffering,' per say. I expect a slow death, but not necessarily a torturous one. You can keep the rest of this."

He handed Thor the wine bottle then, and the Tesseract quickly replaced it inside his open palm.

"Where are you going?" his brother asked in alarm when he began conjuring a portal.

"To Svartalfheim. The Aether needs to flex its muscles, and I figure there's nothing left for it to harm on that world. I've no wish to release it here among these good people, but I fear that will happen without my consent unless I can provide a suitable outlet. It is becoming increasingly difficult to control."

"Very well, just…promise me you'll come back."

Loki's smile was all genuine this time. "My dear Thor, I already died on Svartalfheim once. How very tedious it would be to do so again."

The God of Mischief employed no subtlety or finesse this time. There was no holding back as he let the Reality Stone's power explode from his body like a storm. His own essence followed the Aether when it lashed out, energy not fully replenished upon the Stone's return. Volcanic rock disintegrated into dust at the Aether's touch, and even the meager daylight of the Dark World dimmed in response.

It would have been prudent to stop this display, if only he could. One particularly violent outburst drove Loki to his knees, forcing him to spit up blood on the ashen ground. Drops of bright ruby red, just like the Aether; but of the two, it was no longer his blood that sustained him. The balance of power shifted between them in that moment. From now on, the Aether would have the upper hand, and Loki's deterioration would accelerate.

He would consider this the beginning of the end.

When the Reality Stone's fury was finally spent, it left Loki crouched wearily on the ground, panting like a hound too long at the hunt. He needed three attempts to stand, with the way his head swam, and his legs trembled treacherously beneath him for several minutes. Once he felt reasonably strong again, he brought forth the Tesseract – and hesitated.

He had told Thor he would not die on Svartalfheim…but how poetic would it be to perish in the realm of his birth? Cast out onto a frozen rock, as Odin had once put it. It was an alluring notion, to be sure, yet one he ultimately decided against. Although death was surely coming for him, it was yet too far off. If he went to Jotunheim to die, Thor would have time to search for and very possibly find him, given the Thunderer's legendary persistence. Better to go back to Midgard, at least for now.

So he did, and when Strange visited Wakanda the following day, he noticed the difference in Loki's condition instantly. Not even Thor had been that perceptive.

The sorcerer got his Asgardian counterpart alone and suggested, "I think it's time we relocate you to the Sanctum in New York, where you can be under my constant supervision. I don't want to risk your dying prematurely and setting the Reality Stone loose here."

"As you wish," Loki concurred tiredly. He still hadn't fully recovered from yesterday's exertions on Svartalfheim; he would never fully recover. "Do you intend to bring Thor there as well?"

"Naturally – I doubt anything could keep him away. Are there any loose ends you need to tie up here before we leave?"

"None except to thank T'Challa for his untiring hospitality; and now that the Captain is back in Wakanda, I may just have to color his hair pink in farewell, if the Aether will permit me. Speaking of loose ends, I do need to teach you how to recapture the Aether once it is inevitably free from my body. It will be most vulnerable then, most susceptible to being guided into the holding device rather than into another host."

Strange nodded. "Any pointers you can give me would be welcome, but I'm not too concerned. In all of our failed attempts to move the Reality Stone out of you, it responded well to the Time Stone's manipulations; I always can take that approach again after it leaves you."

"So in other words, I was the uncooperative element in your equations?"

"Yes, but you already knew that." The mortal suddenly grew more somber. "I probably shouldn't bring this up – and I definitely haven't mentioned it to Thor – but I think I could bring you back to your state right after the battle, with the Reality Stone still inside you. Potentially multiple times."

Loki understood immediately. "Make me relive a slow death over and over again, is that it? Forever sharing my body with an unstable parasite that drains my strength and makes me a danger to all around me?"

"Basically." Strange shrugged. "It would keep you alive, perhaps even indefinitely if we repeated the process every few weeks; but I'm not sure that's what you really want."

"Only my love for Thor would tempt me to consider it." He must truly be weakened, to speak his feelings so freely. "But no, you are right; I have no desire to 'live' in such a manner."

"He talked to me, you know. He asked if there was any way it could be him instead of you."

The Trickster rolled his eyes to hide how he was touched. "Of course he did, the sentimental fool. I trust you didn't get his hopes up?"

"I told him what he already knows. What everyone already knows."

Loki forced a wry smile. "You know, Stephen, it is rather a shame that our paths only crossed under these circumstances. In another reality, you and I could have been travelers through all of space and time."

This had to be done. Loki had known for some time that it was coming, and to put it off any longer would be dangerous; but that didn't render the dreaded task any easier. He had been living in the Sanctum for a week now, with only Stephen and Thor for company. It was the latter whom he needed now.

Despite Thor's uncharacteristic silence of late, he was not difficult to find; he never strayed too far from his brother, after all. Loki allowed no time for thought, walking straight up to his sibling and wordlessly folding him into a hug. Thor returned the gesture without even bothering to ask what was wrong; there was no need.

Already blinking furiously to hold back the tears, Loki said perhaps the most difficult words of his entire life. "Thor – after this, you have to stop touching me."

His brother's arms only tightened around him in response. "Why would you say that?"

"Because the Aether senses that my strength is fading, and soon it will abandon me in favor of a stronger host – if given the opportunity. The mortals don't interest it much, but you, Thunderer, are far too tempting to resist. Even now, I have to hold it back from you, and I won't be able to do so for much longer. Why do you think I've been so agreeable to your hugs lately?"

By now, Thor was crying openly against his shoulder and showed no sign of ever letting go. "I don't know what I'm going to do without you this time, Brother."

"Yes, you do." Loki assumed the position of comforter, holding his distraught elder with gentle firmness. "Just as when I 'died' before, you must do the duty that lies nearest. Seek out Valkyrie and the scattered remnant of our people, and settle them in a new home. But perhaps not Midgard, after all; I daresay Stephen has had his fill of Asgardians on Earth. Be the King of Asgard, Thor Odinson, wherever the new Asgard might be."

"Without you by my side as advisor?" sniffled the other.

Loki bit down his lip, unseen; it wouldn't do for him to lose his composure now. Nevertheless, he couldn't keep the tremor out of his voice entirely. "Brother, with all that has been lost, you will be a sad king…but a good king. Not to mention a far wiser one than the arrogant, idiotic youth who would have been crowned at your first coronation."

That prompted a very small smile through the tears, as intended. "Am I supposed to thank you for ruining that day, then?"

"If you do, I shan't stop you."

Thor finally drew back to look at him, but his hand remained firmly clasped on the back of his brother's neck. So much fondness mixed with sorrow in those blue eyes was truly painful to behold, and Loki could no longer restrain his own tears.

"I love you, Loki."

"I know, Thor. And never doubt that I love you."

He summoned the Tesseract into his hand then, a prodigious effort for such a simple task.

"I might as well give this to you now, seeing as I'm no longer fit to use it. I can recommend some clever hiding places, if you like."

Thor took the Space Stone from him with fresh tears glistening in his eyes, and Loki let his brother pull him into their last embrace.

Two more weeks dragged by, with Loki spending more and more time asleep each day. He woke once to the foggy realization of company at his back. Very familiar company.

"Thor, you shouldn't be here; you're too close." He gingerly rolled over to find his brother lying wide awake beside him.

"You said we couldn't touch; I'm not actually touching you."

"I thought we stopped playing this game when we were six."

The Thunderer grinned, but it faded an instant later. "How do you feel?"

Thor asked him that every time they spoke now; thankfully, Stephen had never done so once.

Loki looked away, unable to meet the other's loving, worried eyes. "The Aether is insatiable, like a fire which never says 'enough.' It won't be long now, I think. I am so tired, as though all I can do is sleep; but when I wake, I'm even more exhausted than before."

Thor stared down at his brother's arm, exposed above the blankets. Loki's normally pale skin was almost translucent now, and a shimmering red current could be seen running underneath. It wasn't blood.

"Don't touch, Thor."

"I won't…" He tore his gaze away with obvious difficulty. "Can you eat anything?"

"I can, although it doesn't seem to make any difference to my strength; however, I will do so now if it makes you feel better."

"I'll bring you something." Thor left in a hurry, grateful for an errand that let him feel useful.

Loki watched him go. He had tried so hard for so long to be strong in Thor's presence, knowing that this was often more difficult for his brother than for himself; but there was no point in being "strong" now. He barely had the strength to lift his head off the pillow when Thor returned with some soup.

Time began to blur incoherently, but Loki guessed it to be three or four days later that he woke to fresh air and very different surroundings. His bed from the Stanctum was surrounded by green grass that tumbled off the side of a nearby cliff, with a vast sea and open sky stretching far beyond.

"Am I dead?" he whispered bemusedly.

Strange's voice behind him supplied the answer. "No, not yet, but I thought this seemed like a good place. For when the time comes."

Loki slowly recognized the secluded Norwegian fjord. "This is where Odin…where my father died."

Strange nodded, walking into his charge's line of sight. "It's peaceful, beautiful, and entirely isolated. Thor will follow us here shortly."

Speaking of Thor….there was a matter Loki had been pondering for some time. He had best mention it now, while he was still able. "Stephen, will you do something for me?"

"What is it?" Of course, he wasn't foolish enough to commit to any request from the Trickster without knowing all the details first.

"I want you to send Thor away, when it's time. Send him through one of your portals. He doesn't need to see this again."

Silence betrayed the man's initial shock. He answered elusively, reluctantly, "You know that special axe of his allows him to fly and travel between worlds. No matter where I send him, he won't be gone long."

"I won't need long, if we time it right." The effort of simply speaking left him winded, exhausted anew. "Please – consider it the last wish of a dying man."

"I thought dying men usually wanted their families with them at the end," Strange argued. "Not even you should have to die alone."

"I won't be alone; you have to be here to catch the Aether."

"You may hurt him even worse by sending him away; he'll just remember it as one last betrayal."

"I know." He did, and it hurt. "All the same, I don't want my final memory to be of his suffering and grief. Have I not earned that much, at least?"

Strange still wasn't ready to agree. "Is there no way you would allow him to stay?"

"There may be," Loki mused wistfully, "but I don't know if he's capable of doing it."

"The least you can do is ask, for his sake. I'll bring him here."

Loki slept again after Stephen left. Part of him feared he wouldn't wake up again, feared he would leave this life without saying a final goodbye to his brother; another part of him wished that would be the case. It would make things so much easier, in a way.

He did wake, for better or for worse; and there was Thor, sitting much too close again on the side of the bed. The great oaf practically oozed with relief when their eyes met, and it clearly took every ounce of self-restraint he possessed not to clasp his brother's limp hand.

Loki did love him; he always had, even when neither of them believed it.

"Doctor Strange said there was something you wanted to ask of me." Thor's voice was hushed yet urgent, afraid they might run out of time with crucial things left unsaid.

"Yes…" Except it took Loki a moment to remember what it was. "Thor, if you want to stay with me until the end…you have to smile. If you love me, promise me that will be the last thing I see. Please."

The King of Asgard certainly wasn't smiling now. Tears poured down his cheeks, yet he answered with a curt nod of his golden head. "You have my word, Brother – but only if you promise to give Mother a kiss for me when you see her."

Tears glimmered in Loki's own eyes at the thought; Thor truly believed his little brother would see Frigga again in Valhalla, the eternal resting place of the brave. Loki wished rather than believed him to be correct. He would find out soon enough.

"I will," he whispered.

Within the hour, the Aether started moving – similar to the times Strange had manipulated it, only far slower. Life was gradually bleeding from Loki, rather than deserting him all at once in a magical vacuum. For his own safety, Thor stood well apart from the two sorcerers as the Reality Stone emerged from its failing host, and Loki was dimly aware of Stephen murmuring the necessary incantations to recapture the Aether inside its vessel. It must be working.

The crimson taint left his vision even as his sight darkened from weakness. He could scarcely keep his eyes open now; very soon, they would not open again. He felt impossibly heavy and utterly tired. His limbs tingled with the Aether's retreat, only to do so again in a way he recognized from the times he had held the Casket. The spells that maintained his Asgardian appearance were fading.

Thor had promised to take proper care of his body. Would he have second thoughts, when faced with a Jotun corpse? Would he feel any revulsion, if the eyes he closed were red?

Thunder groaned in the distance, a storm rumbling overhead, and Loki wished his brother could hold his hand. He couldn't even feel his hands now, for the tingling had turned to numbness. He was so, so cold…

But there! Even dampened by tears, Thor's smile was warmer than any sunshine.

Loki missed it already.

The End

Author's Note: While the perspective of this story doesn't follow Loki into the afterlife, the author firmly believes that: yes, Loki will see his parents in Valhalla, and no, Thor won't see Loki's Jotun form as anything less than his brother. But sadly, I also believe Loki would have his doubts up until the very end. Thank you so much for reading!