Thalia

Thalia was an absolute, utter mess. She knew it, her family knew it, Nico knew it. A walking disaster, is what she would call herself.

At least it was Free Friday. Thalia didn't know if she could take any more of the preppy plaid skirts and blazers. On Friday's, she jumped at the chance to wear all black.

She strutted down the usual back alley she took to the Projects. It took an extra thirty minutes, but if she wasn't seen, it was totally worth it. She slipped her hand into her bag, and brought out her hallucinants, popping a couple pills. Instantly, she felt better, as if she was seeing the world through rose-colored glasses.

Thalia had first crossed the line when she was a desperate, blabbering drug addict who couldn't get a fix over here. Stumbling into the first bum she found, she had traded him a diamond earring for her first bottle of hallucinants. Every once in a while, the drug wasn't that bad, but Thalia had been taking them everyday for the past four months. She knew how to act normal on them now, and that scared her more than anything, but she couldn't stop.

She had met Nico at a party she had fallen across one time after she had met her dealer over here. He was cute, in a goth sort of the way. Exactly the type of person her parents would hate to see her around, which made him all the more perfect. It had started with sex and drugs, basically anywhere. His own dad was barely ever around, and even though his apartment smelled like a combination of boy, cigarettes, and dirty dishes from a week ago, all Thalia had to do was pop a few pills and she was good to go. Nico had encouraged the drug use in the beginning, but lately it had become a point of tension between them. She had started to avoid doing them around him.

What scared Thalia even more were the feelings she was having. Sure, he went down on her better than any guy she had ever been with, but lately that wasn't all she was feeling. She had started to care, started to want to just hang out with him. She had let herself stay the night a week ago, and had woken up to his arm wrapped securely around her waist. What was worse, though, is that she liked it.

Thalia kept telling herself that no, she couldn't be falling for Nico because she was her and he was him and they didn't belong in the same world and they never would, but here she was, knocking on his door, nervous to see him because she didn't know how to act around him anymore.

"Hey." He greeted with a grim smile. He looked a little out of it, but she figured it was from a night of partying over here. Her friends from MHS didn't know what a real party was.

"Hey." She said, pushing the door shut, and latching her lips onto his. They never really were ones for talking.

-0-

Thalia caught her breath as Nico rolled off her. They usually stayed separate, bodies lying on opposite sides of the bed after they did that, but tonight they let their pinkies link, then their thumbs, then their whole hands were laced together.

"Thalia," Nico started, rolling over to face her. "We need to talk."

She laughed nervously, tucking a black lock behind her ear. "Okay, what's up?" She asked, even though she already knew what was up.

"I can't…" He gestured towards her and his dingy little room. "I can't do this anymore."

Thalia sat up, and pulled on her bra and shirt. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean." He said, eyes slightly demanding as he sat up to join her. She stood up, pulling on her panties.

"Actually, Nico, I don't." She said, her words coming out harsher than she had meant them too.

"Don't bullshit me." He snapped, slipping back into his jeans and standing up to face her.

Thalia laughed, but it was cold and mean and conveyed nothing that she actually wanted to tell Nico. "Bullshit you? Nico this whole… thing is bullshit! I shouldn't even be over here, let alone fucking somebody from the Projects." She sneered, and a flash of hurt crossed his eyes before it turned to anger.

"So I'm too low for you? That's it? We're not just fucking Thalia, and you know it." They were nose to nose now, fists balled.

"I think you have the wrong idea, Nico." She said, voice eerily calm. "I want absolutely nothing to do with you. You were just a gateway to the drugs." She flipped the pill bottle over in her hand. "And now, I can leave. I'll see you around." Thalia flipped her hair, and sauntered out the door, tears already starting to stream down her face.

She wasn't sure why she did that. Maybe she was scared, maybe she knew she was so fucked up that she couldn't possibly be in a relationship right now. She was scared of what people would think, scared of what would happen if she got caught. If they made their relationship real, the possibility of getting caught would be looming over their heads every second of every day. Thalia stumbled along the crumbling roads, avoiding the multiple catcalls she received as she walked down Main Street.

Her vision turned fuzzy, tears mixed with hallucinants. She wildly clawed through her purse, looking for any pill that might have fallen out, the ten pills she had left already coursing through her body. She knew this was a mistake, that if her parents were home she would get an absolute beating, but she couldn't find a single bone in her body that cared. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. Nico was gone, her parents were in some sort of fake marriage, Jason and her weren't getting along, and she had – no. She had promised herself that she would never think about that night again. She lost her footing on a loose stone, falling to the ground. Vaguely aware of the bum laughing at her, she got up and kept crawling her way across the line.

-0-

"Thalia!" Her mom called from their living room – correction the living room that was about as big as Nico's whole apartment. Her house was all silver, glittering diamond lamps, huge white couches, a bright chandelier.

Shit. They could not be home right now. Thalia, though barely mentally there, still knew they couldn't see her like this. They'd ship her off to rehab in ten seconds flat, and that was not going to happen. "Um," She said, desperately scrambling for an excuse. "I'm gonna take a shower, then I'll come out." She could easily sneak into her room without passing her mother, and she took her mom's non- existent response as an okay.

It took everything in Thalia not to break into tears the moment she saw herself in the mirror. Her eyes were bloodshot, her makeup was stained from all the tears. Her hair was in knots and her dress had some weird stain on it and she wasn't sure how it got there. She slipped into the shower, trying to rub the drugs out of her system, but it was a hopeless cause. She would just have to hope that her appearance would be enough to fool her parents.

Thalia avoided them for as long as she could, taking an extra fifteen minutes after she was dressed in her silk pajamas to try and calm down. Eventually, though, she knew they would come looking for her and they couldn't see her room like this or she would be grounded. Her and Jason's rooms were supposed to be impeccably clean, and they had no excuse for them not to be. Bots and cleaning people were constantly around, but Thalia had paid the people and programmed the bots to not come into her room. She couldn't have them finding her condoms or birth control or pills or basically anything she wasn't supposed to have.

Her mother sat in her favorite arm chair, even though Thalia didn't see the difference between the two matching white ones in the living room. She looked regal and beautiful, silky black hair to her waist, a gold dress shimmering on her, clinging to her body that would make any girl jealous.

"Mother." Thalia greeted, but she barely looked up from the screen she was reading on.

"Sit." She gestured towards their left couch, the one closest to her. Thalia's mind went crazy, drawing up every possible thing she could be in trouble for right now. There were so many of them, Thalia was surprised her brain didn't explode. "Have a good day at school?" Her mother asked, voice smooth and silky. She set the screen down and picked up the martini a bot had just dropped off.

"Um, fine, I guess." Thalia shrugged, accepting the martini the bot passed to her.

"Good." She said with a smile. "I wanted to let you know you have a dress fitting tomorrow, at noon, with Annabeth and the rest of the girls. I was thinking we could go for lunch after. I haven't had much time to spend with my daughter lately."

"A dress fitting for what?" Thalia asked, ignoring the lunch comment. Her mom couldn't give two fucks about spending time with Thalia, and if she did really feel bad it was her own fault.

Her mom laughed, a breathy, how silly of Thalia laugh. "The Autumn Ball, sweetheart. Don't tell me you forgot about the biggest party of the season." Thalia had forgotten, but she didn't let her mother know that. The Autumn Ball was something she usually loved, but this year was just so, so different. It always happened in October, to celebrate the beginning of the start of a new school year, change of the seasons, whatever. Annabeth's family always sponsored it, renting out the biggest and best venue at the Elysian Ballroom.

"Oh, of course." Thalia responded, ignoring the pounding headache that had started to pop up behind her temples.

"I was thinking red." Her mom said, grabbing the screen again and tapping some things on the screen. "Like this." She showed Thalia the dress, a deep red gown, with skinny straps and a cowl neck. It was gorgeous, and definitely something Thalia would have worn a few months ago.

"I want black." Thalia responded stubbornly, crossing her arms.

Her mother just sighed, like she was expecting this. "We'll talk. Dinner's in an hour." Her mom went back to her book, Thalia taking that as her cue to leave.