Demented Innocence

===============

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Summary: What exactly happened before Hermione Granger came to Hogwarts?

Hermione must deal with her past, which includes her being a "trouble child", as her therapist used to say. But then, she meets up with a certain Slytherin and her former bad-girl self takes over.

Dear Materialistic Diary That Is Fucking Pink And Mom Bought For 5 Cents:

I am fucked up right now. I know, I know, I promised Mom I would stop cursing, but forgive me God, for being human. God forbid I do anything out of the ordinary. It was just one fucking curse word. So, I screamed it aloud when Malfoy hit me in the back of the neck with this huge encyclopedia book. And I got detention. Professor Snape is a true dumbass. He didn't even pay attention to the fact that Malfoy's book left an imprint on my flesh. Who the hell does he think he is, anyway? He's freaking fifteen, he needs a life, you know? Okay, fine, I don't have much of a life either. But I am a good student, and anyways, I think almost getting killed with my two best friends over a million times is enough drama, for me, thank you very much. I have a bad enough life as it is without Malfoy trying to make me kill myself. Harry is going on and on about his perfect relationship with his virgin girlfriend, "Ginny". Oh, isn't sweet, somebody get me a gun, I am going to shoot myself. It's not like I don't love Harry and don't want him to be happy. Actually, it is like that. But anyways, he shouldn't be happy, when I'm not happy. I am slowing down. In my quick exam for Professor Flitwick, I messed up and got 20/23. I mean, it's not bad, but fuck, grades is the only thing I am good at, and I don't want to lose that too.

Anyways. Ron tried to make out with me in the hallway. What's his problem? Actually, what's MY problem? How come I can't feel anything when I'm around my own boyfriend? Not even the mushy-cuddly stuff I used to feel in fourth year. We've been dating for months, and every time I kiss him, touch him, it feels like I am doing plain old homework. Maybe I should break up with him, and become a lesbian or something. At least it'll be an answer to why I'm not having any rush of feelings when I am with my boyfriend. But I know I can't be a lesbian, because Mom would freak out, and I am kind of freaking myself out too. I told Ginny that, and she's like "It's fine with me."

I can tell she wants to get laid, because whenever I try to talk to her, it's always "Fine with me" and "Harry this" and Harry that. Sometimes I want to kill her. But Dr.Laura says "You have a lot of anger, Hermione...you need to be able to manage it so you can have a steady life."

God damnit, Dr. Laura needs a steady life. She thinks I don't see her when she smokes in her car? In the summer, we were having a few sessions, and I'm going to write about one particular one:

Dr. Laura: Oh! Hermione! How nice to see you, dear.

(Translation: You bitch, you ruined my time to touch myself!)

Me: You too, Dr. Laura.

(Translation: Hi, bitch.)

Dr. Laura: So...what's going on? Tell me all about it.

(Translation: Hurry the fuck up, your mom pays my gas bills, you idiot)

Me: Nothing much. Mom and Dad are fighting. I keep telling them to get divorced, you know?

DL: Mmm... I see. And how does that make you feel?

Me: About the fighting? I don't really care, as long as Dad keeps giving me money.

DL (not paying attention): You need to learn how to manage your anger, Hermione. You're a very troubled child.

I am like, what the fuck are talking about, you old bitch? She's so messed up and calm that she must be on the pill too.

Oh, fuck, Lavender just entered, and she bought new lingerie that she claims is just "darling". Well, doesn't that just kick you on the crotch. Sounds peachy. Better stop breathing in my sleep. Lavender, she's like an 8 year old trapped in a fifteen year old's body. By the time she's thirty one, she'll find out what a vibrator is.

How do I say good-bye to a diary?

Anyways...um...I'm closing you now.

================

"Hermione? 'Mione!"

God, how I hate that name. Why would my parents name me after a Greek Goddess anyway? Do they have no self control? I would've liked to be called anything else! And Ron always calls me "'Mione" and it sounds like "Mahoney" or something.

"Yes, I'm here," I said, my voice coming out naturally irritated. I had been on my way to the Great Hall for lunch, trying to avoid Ron eyeing me in Double Potions, but unfortunately, he had caught up with me and started babbling on and on about how good I looked in that skirt. I rolled my eyes. I hardly ever get flattered, and his pathetic attempt to get laid was really getting on my nerves.

"Do you want to go upstairs?" he whispered, in a weak way to sound seductive. I snorted, but fortunately, he didn't hear.

"No thank you. I'm hungry."

"But - but - " he stammered. I was losing it, seriously. Being a "Good Little Girl" was getting on my nerves. I had been that girl for five straight years, and it was bound to happen sometime, anyway. So I snapped.

"Listen Ron, go make out with your pillow, if you're so desperate for getting fucked, okay! Don't ask me!" I stomped angrily, avoiding the laughter of my classmates, pushing the crowds apart. Some people were gaping, some gave me weird looks, others were saying encouraging words, but I just wanted to get out of the hellhole. So I ran to the library. Luckily, it was half deserted, with only about a couple of people and Madame Pince sitting at her desk, giving me a faint smile. I knew she was annoyed when I came. I borrowed so many books and forgot to return them that she hardly even said anything to me anymore. So I'm not Matilda. But I do have a love for books, no matter what.

I set my book bag and other parchments and quills on a nearby table and spread out a chair and started finishing up my Potions homework. Once I was done, I put all my things away and started to get up to find a good fiction book to read. I saw two red ones gleaming in the History & Romance section.

I picked them out and put them on my table, trying to ignore Madame Pince's piercing stare that drilled into my back. I opened one of them, trying to read, but my mind was a blur, and the words were simply printed on pages. I sighed with mere regret. I shouldn't have snapped at my boyfriend, like that, if you used the term boyfriend loosely. But he was one of my best friends, so it didn't matter. He didn't want to be treated that way. 'Yes, but it's not very good for him to be pressuring you about sexual content, now is it?' a haughty voice said in the back of her mind.

"First, you bad mouth to your future husband and now you are reading romance. Now aren't you fiesty?"

The voice interrupted my thoughts, and I jumped up from my seat in surprise. I turned my head instintively, and saw Draco Malfoy. What the hell was he wearing? His robes did not conceal a multi-colored t-shirt underneath them. I rolled my eyes.

Oh, great, I thought, glaring at him.

"Get off my back, Malfoy, I'm trying to ...well, it's none of your damn buisness, so just leave me the hell alone!" I said, snapping for the second time this day.

"My, my, the virgin speaks."

"My, my, the asshole replies," I responded smoothly, banging back the two books on Madame Pince's desk to check them out.

"Are you pissed, Granger? Hope that bushy hair of yours doesn't spike up in anger," he said, laughing at his stupid joke.

I wanted to kill him, choke him until he bleeded to death. But of course, typical 'Good Little Dentist's Girl Granger/Top Student' would never do something like that, in public! In the LIBRARY!

"I guess your boyfriend won't get screwed this week. What's wrong, Granger, is he not good enough for you?"

"Go fuck yourself, Malfoy," saying the first thing I could think of.

"Tried that. Didn't work very well," he said smugly. I raised my eyebrows, trying hard not to laugh. Of course, he was joking, but it scared me. But...what if he wasn't? Now, I was very fearful.

"Whatever," I muttered, as Madame Pince handed me my books, looking at me and Malfoy coldly.

As I was walking out, he was still following me.

"Are you breaking up with him? Are you?" he kept saying, over and over again, making snide remarks casually about my hair, and calling me a mudblood every so often.

"You should fuck Harry instead. I bet his scar does something more than make him famous," he said, roaring with laughter.

"Why don't you fuck him yourself if you think he's so good in bed?" I yelled. "Leave me the fuck alone! It's eight minutes before my next class, Malfoy!"

"Fine. I just wanted to tell you you dropped something while you were yelling at your sweet little boyfriend in the hallway."

I swiftly turned around, looking at him. He looked oddly truthful.

He took out something pink. A mini sized book. Draco Malfoy had my - fucking - diary!

I gaped. And gasped. I guess I looked like a friggin idiot, but I didn't give a damn. He had my diary, and even though I only wrote ten or fifteen pages in it, it was my thoughts, and my worst enemy had it in his own hands! This was not good. Not good at all.

"Give it back," I said through gritted teeth.

He laughed. "Only if you say pretty please with sugar on top," he answered mockingly.

I merely stared, frozen at my spot, staring at the swaying book from his fingers.

It was sideways, and was opened, pages, written with my beautiful and sloppy cursive on various pages. Big, block letters, some small, some copied down homeworks, and mostly entries about school or home. Or Dr. Laura.

He grinned. "I hear Ginny wants to get laid. And there's a fair chance you might be a lesbian."

Those words. Those, fucking words, was what made me snap.

"YOU READ IT!" I shrieked, and suddenly, I was on top of him, smashing into his body sideways, wrestling him to the ground. I struggled as he pinched my arm, and I groaned agonizingly, but not before I pinned his arms to the floor and tried to bite his hand so he would release the diary from his hand. I know it sounds stupid, but when you're desperate, you're well...uh...desperate.

He kicked me underneath and I felt myself banging against the floor, and his legs pinned me from getting up. He waved the diary in my face, as I looked at it ambitiously.

"You - bitch. I was going to give it to you anyway, Granger. Your thoughts are rather interesting. I'm sure your friends would like to hear them too. Especially Weasley and his adorable little virgin of a sister," Draco said, smirking in his evil way. I squirmed beneath him, his warm breath fanning my face. He was still babbling on with threats and things he would like to show the whole school, and I did not want to be in a sexual position with my worst enemy.

Finally, I found myself pleading.

"Please give it back. I don't care if you read it already, just please..." I felt like crying. Which made me feel pathetic.

Strangely, Malfoy sighed.

"Okay, but only under one condition."

I nodded beneath him. Anything. I'd do anything.

He grinned a sinister smile.

"You become my mudblood slave for a day."

"A day? Doing what?" I said, feeling disgust rise up in my throat. Be his fucking slave? Mudblood?! House elf?! Wait...where'd that come from?

"Oh, cleaning, doing spare homework, all the works."

"You mother fucker, I'm not doing your homework." I hate people who copy.

"Fine, then. No work, no diary," he said, staring at me intently.

"I'll do anything else but homework," I begged.

"Anything?" His eyebrows rose up.

I know, I know, I shouldn't have been so stupid to think that 'Evil Slytherin - Bad For A Living' would think up of something simple.

But his answer was not what I was expecting. I mean seriously, who would expect this?!

"I want you to strip for me."

Shocked yet?

==========

How the hell did I get into this mess? Wearing Lavender's new lingerie that I had stolen from her closet? Being skimpy, and looking slutty and wearing smears of lip gloss on my mouth? And eyeshadow?

The 'lingerie' that Lavender had talked about turned out to be a piece of cloth. It was a strapless dress that kept on falling to my knees until I put safety pins in the back, and it came above like ten inches from my knees. It had white petticoats underneath, but they were transparent silk, so you could see almost everything. And you did. The dress turned out to be black see through, (kill me now), and was now wavering against my thighs. I was outside the library, at midnight. I mean, of all the times! Of course I knew the risk of getting caught, but I had done this before. No, I don't mean stripping for my worst enemy for my diary back, but I mean sneaking out.

It was easy. Malfoy told me he would meet me there at midnight when he 'reserved' a room from a prefect. Of course, I knew that it shouldn't take this long. Malfoy was practically the king of Slytherin, and he should be able to score a room quickly.

But it was already ten after twelve, and he had still not arrived.

Finally, after a few more moments, a cloaked figure came into view. Strands of silver. I followed him silently, to the dungeons. Finally, we had reached through the common room and dazed as I was, I was suddenly in the room.

A prefect room.

The room he would be using for his sick pleasure. He took off his cloak and threw it on his bed and sat down, looking at me expectently.

"Well? This better be good, Granger, or else you won't have this back," he said, picking up the pink diary from his desk.

I suddenly took out my wand and pointed at it. "Accio!"

Nothing happened. I stared dumbly at Malfoy, who looked like he was about to burst into laughter.

"Don't tell me your so stupid, Granger. Of course I put a spell repelling charm on it before you came."

Damnit! I knew countercurses for those charms, but it would take forever to find out which one he had placed on the diary. My wand was taken away of course, by Malfoy, who was looking at me anticipatingly.

I took a deep breath. I had to do this.

"Well, go on, Granger, I have better things to do then watch you stand," he drawled lazily.

"I - I just strip off my clothes? That's it?"

"Well - I might be giving you some orders," he said, grinning. My eyes went wide. Well, sure, I had to admit that Malfoy was pretty gorgeous, but thinking about even touching him made me feel sick.

Finally, I quickly took off my cloak. I could feel Malfoy's eyes wandering, poring into my see-through lingerie, but I tried to ignore it. I was about to slip off my dress when suddenly he said, "Stop."

I looked up at him.

"Come here. Don't take that dress off..."

"Why?" I stuttered, pulling at the strips of fabric.

"Come here," he repeated. I gulped, feeling suddenly vurnable, and walked closer to him.

"Sit on my lap."

"Are you fucking crazy?" I felt kind of flattered, but of course I know I was way too dangerously close to be with my worst enemy already.

But of course, everyone has two sides. One is light, one is dark. And eventually, my dark side would have to take over somehow. After fucking five years of acting like I was Virgin Mary had really gotten to me. It was time for a break. Just one short one. He wouldn't tell. Not if I was the best lay he ever had. I know I sound pretty conceited, but I find it surprising if I don't hear my name attached to the words "wildcat" and "sex" in the muggle world. You could say I'm pretty...famous?

Grin. I knew She was coming. She was my evil side. I can remember all the things She made me do when I was little. Like steal Mom's money when I was six. Like burn Daddy's mattress while he was on it at the age of nine. Well okay, I admit they were kind of stupid, but it was a mere science experiment. She also makes me curse. I'm all innocent, no, really! She's the one that's corrupted. Right? Right.

Yeah right.

Fuck this, She said.

But this is wrong! He's going to grow up to be a death eater, someone planning to kill you and your family!

So what? It's been months since you've had some, and he is hot, She prompted noisily.

It hasn't been months! Weeks maybe. Remember, the time with that Hufflepuff kid in the beginning of this month? He wasn't very experianced, but he was easy.

You sound like a desperate over-sexed male. Maybe you should rethink the lesbian thing. It's probably because you want to become transexual.

Gasp. How - you bitch!

See, She said smugly. I'm not the only one that curses.

Okay, so I gave in. I tried to be confident. Usually, half the time I am so wasted I don't even know what I am doing, but that was a phase I was going through when I was fourteen. Okay, so I am demented. Evil. Sick. So what? Probably you guys that are reading this are sick too. Don't deny it, everyone has their hidden pleasures. It isn't as if being a "troubled child" is what I chose. It's what I am, no matter what. It's not like drugs. I don't have patches to help with those. (Ahh I love drugs...are you guys freaked out yet? No? Damnit!)

So I caved. My evil side won me over. And it actually felt good, to finally do something bad. I guess he was pretty aroused by the time I leaned over to recieve his hurried and plastered kiss, because he had a tight grip on my hips, and kept digging his nails into the fabric of my "dress".

If he thinks that turns me on, well he's got another thing coming. He was pretty inexperianced, trying to fumble with my dress, and trying to tip his tongue into his mouth. He needed to learn what sex was. He acted as if it was eating a hamburger or something (muggle fattening food). I took my lips off him.

"God, can you take your nails off of me? I thought I was supposed to strip," I demanded.

He shrugged, a silly grin on his face. I rolled my eyes, and looked around the room. I was about to head for the closet when he grabbed me.

"Where are you going?" he said, in a threatining way. I tried hard not to smile. Having his arms around my waist was not so bad. Now we were getting somewhere.

"Don't worry," I assured him, getting off of his tight grip. I opened the closet, seeing rows of robes from the prefect that actually slept here. Finally, I found a Slytherin scarf that was often used for the winter and Qudditch matches. I walked up to him and put it around his eyes, tying it around him tightly.

"Ouch!"

"Can you see?"

"No," his muffled response came.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" I said, holding up two.

"Enough to pleasure yourself, I suppose," Malfoy said, laughing.

I rolled my eyes, although I can't deny I did feel my eyebrows raise up when he suggested a disgraceful thing like that. Sounds like he likes the topic of 'pleasuring himself', I thought, shuddering.

I walked around him slowly, observing the shirt and pants he was wearing. They would have to go, my inner bad interrupted.

I unbuttoned the shirt, enjoying the pleasure of seeing him squirm as I did. I could feel his heavy breathing fan my face as I touched his chest. It was pure, warm flesh. He groaned as I lowered my hand to his waist area, and grinned. He would pay. Big time.

What, did you really think I was going to strip for my own diary without a little revenge of my own?

So, I played a little game with him. Just a little one. It was innocent, really, it was!

I just sat on his lap (which I might add is rather soft.. ) and I leaned back into his chest, and just stayed like that for a few minutes. Of course, he tried many times to slip his arms around me, but I pushed them away and let him groan. He wanted to play, he was going to get a game, alright. And I was going to win.

I turned around went against him, my knees pushing hard against his thighs. He made a raw noise, and pulled me to him, and kissed me. This time, instead of being hurried, it was a soft brushing against the lips as he pulled me closer to his body, so that he could feel my breasts plastered against him, I guess. That sounds sick, but it's arousing to males. Oh sure, I mean, I was a bit turned on, of course. Gorgeous Draco Malfoy, who wouldn't be? But I knew my main key was the diary, and the only way to distract him was seduction. I reached my hand out for his desk, but he grabbed it uncounciously and rubbed his hand against it while he placed the other inside my thighs, tapping his fingers against my bare legs. The little dress I had stolen was high above my hips now, and his fingers were now aiming for it's main target.

I reached for it, and turned a bit sideways. I guess that really did the trick, because he groaned and muttered inaudible words while he clutched my back. Fuck it, I wanted the diary, but this wasn't so bad either. I mentally shook my head. The diary, your friends, your reputation at Hogwarts for being...

Argh...

Almost there...his fingers tugging at my underwear hungrily. Almost there, Hermione, I said to myself, as I clutched the pink diary in my hands.

Yes! Finally. I let go off him, and he breathed heavily.

"What the hell did you do that for?" he yelled, taking off the scarf, which were shielding his eyes.

I waved the diary in his face, and he gaped at me.

I laughed. I know it sounds evil, but hey, it's good to be back again for a little while.

"You're so fucking stupid," I uttered.

He snarled at me. I backed away, giggling at walking toward the door. I could hear him groaning, and he fell back in the bed, his hand on his forehead in humiliation.

"Hey, Malfoy!" I shrieked. He got up, glaring at me.

"What?"

I smiled at him. I slipped my dress over my head and threw at him. He eyed it dumbfoundedly in his hands, and looked at me in disbelief, his eyes wandering around my body. I grinned.

"See you tomorrow," I said, happily, clutching the diary in my hand and banging the door behind him. I left the dormroom and common room that way. Almost barenaked except for my undies and bra. It felt free. I was demented. I was corrupted. What did you expect? Nobody saw me anyway. At least, I hope not.

Now, everyone, this story has a moral lesson.

Never, ever, bring a pink diary to school.

===============

YAY! THAT WAS 11 pages of STUPID SMUT AND DEMENTED SIDE NOTES! I liked writing a stupid story for once, I enjoyed it! So hah, flame all you want.

:) (Don't worry, I don't own a pink diary)

-Court