Disclaimers: I do not own The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. They belong to J.R.R. Tolkien and J.K. Rowling.

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This is a fun little one-shot I decided to work on one morning. I thought it would be interesting to see Frodo as a literal troll. Also, this fanfic is inspired by one of my Plot Generated Summaries. Enjoy. :)

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Frodo Baggins was a simple troll living a simple life inside his quaint little cave. He loved his cave more than anything, but he also loved it when he found live meat. He really wanted fresh meat this morning! Anything to slake his thirst… or rather his hunger!

Well, that wasn't going to happen today, for today he awoke at the sight of a bushy-haired witch carrying a polished stick in her hand. She was acting strange, but what did that matter? He wanted food and he would get some now!

He tromped towards the girl, annoyed out of his wits that his sleep was interrupted. "What do you want, girl? Don't think for a moment that I won't eat you! You look… delicious!"

"This is nice!" the witch said, happily. Honestly, she was too happy and he was too hungry to ask questions! He wanted meat! NO! He rammed into the wall!

"So, you want to eat me?" The witch smiled, pointing her wand at him. "Nice knowing you, Frodo Baggins! I hope we meet again!"

"Hermione, stop!" a jet black haired wizard, wearing strange spectacles, also carried a polished stick, but also a strange squirting weapon… no! Frodo saw the label: it was a squirt gun. The wizard wasn't afraid to use it, but this was annoying Frodo! Couldn't he have at least one meal?

"You said it, Harry!" a ginger-haired wizard also carried a squirt gun and a polished stick. Both weapons were pointed at Hermione. "Stay away from her!"

"What's going on?!" Frodo cringed, standing up.

"I've got it, Harry!" the ginger-haired wizard said, zapping Hermione with the squirt gun. It worked! Hermione was free and the invisible body snatcher was loose. The ginger-haired wizard cried in delight, only to be grabbed the invisible body snatcher and nearly being sucked into it. "Oh boy! Harry help!"

"What happened?" Hermione asked, dazed and feeling like herself again. "That was awful!"

"Hermione, here!" Harry passed to her the squirt gun. "Let's go save Ron!"

Too late! The body snatcher saw what they were doing and attacked Harry. Ron and Hermione tried to use their squirt guns against the body snatcher; only, the body snatcher tried to attack them all and the troll, who was double angry. Couldn't he have a break?

"Hold still, troll!" Hermione cried, readying her squirt gun at the body snatcher.

"Wait. I didn't ask for this. STOP!" Frodo cried, closing his eyes. He thought he was next. No! He opened his eyes. The body snatcher was gone… nope, no. There it was, fleeing away on his ship, heading directly to space. Frodo sighed in relief, but he was hungry. He eyed Harry, Ron, and Hermione, who looked ready to attack him.

"Wands?" Harry asked Ron and Hermione. "We've defeated a troll before."

"Yeah!" Ron said, remembering what to do.

"Fresh meat!" Frodo licked his chops, charging towards the trio. Only, why did he have to look up? There was a huge stick – his club! – hovering in the air. Oh no!

Clonk!

Frodo collapsed. Darn it all! Just what he didn't need. The last thing he saw, before he fell unconscious, was Harry, Ron, and Hermione chaining him to the wall… the wall? He woke up minutes later, discovering that he was chained and the trio vanished. His anger seethed. He really wanted some food, but where was it? He looked around, confused and weeping.

Oh, woes him!

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Thanks for reading. :)