Author's Note: Those of you who've read "April Weather" know, I've been listening to a lot of Jason Mraz lately (it actually goes as far back as the final chapters of "Tomorrow's Hopes"). That's how I discovered "I am alive" by JJ Lin a couple of weeks back. When I heard this song for the first time, it struck me as a very Chat Noir/Adrien piece.

I just couldn't get it out of my head (listening to it on repeat probably didn't help lol), and I've decided to write something with it - the Adrien Appreciation Week seemed like a perfect opportunity. I wish I had more time to work on this fic, but quite unexpectedly I started April Weather and my free time disappeared. That's why it might be a bit rough - my apologies in advance. But I hope you'll like it.

This is a bit darker than most of my stories I guess, but don't let this discourage you from reading my tribute to the amazing character Adrien Agreste is!

This chapter loosely fits the prompt for Day 4: Fashion

1. Discovery

On the day his life took an unexpected turn Adrien caught sight of his father heading to the underground levels of the mansion with a disturbingly dull look in his eyes. It was exactly three years since Adrien's mother disappeared and as each anniversary rolled by he observed Gabriel going through the same cycle. Isolating himself even more than usual, shutting everything and everyone including Adrien out, and wallowing in grief all by himself. The anniversary marked the apex of this process when his father disappeared for a whole day, rescheduling or cancelling the world. That was the one day of the year when Gabriel openly declared there were more important things than fashion.

But this year Adrien had been more concerned than before. The annual depression hit earlier than ever, with Gabriel slowly withdrawing from all activities, which as the boy suspected included eating. His father gradually started to resemble a ghost, with paper skin, bags under his eyes and sunken cheeks. His usual ensemble of red pants and cream jackets had been replaced by greys and blacks at least a size smaller, which increased the impression of Gabriel turning into a living dead.

Funny thing, Adrien thought to himself after his discovery. He had described his father as a living dead while the term turned out to better fit another member of his family, someone he had lost hopes of seeing ever again. And he could swear his own heart stopped for a moment too, when he glimpsed the scene in whatever this place under his house was.

Adrien followed his father only because he didn't like the anguish and desolation he saw in the man's eyes. He slipped into the basement without making a sound and tiptoed to the metal door that was usually secured with bars and padlocks. Not this time. The air had a metallic and humid taste to it when he peeked inside the dark corridor. There was water at the other end; he could not only smell it, but hear the soft hum of waves splashing against the walls.

Fascinated, he entered the passage. And then he heard his father's voice.

'Nothing makes sense anymore,' Gabriel whispered, but the space he occupied must have acted as a giant amplifier because Adrien could hear him as if he was standing next to the man. 'I can't design. I think I've finally lost the little joy fashion brought me.'

In the pause the boy heard a sigh, a sniff and an unfamiliar sound of something rubbing against glass.

'I'm doing everything I can, dear, but it's not enough. It's never enough,' Gabriel continued. 'Everytime I'm close, the miraculous slip out of my reach and I have to start again.'

Adrien shook his head. Did he hear "miraculous"? He felt Plagg stirring in his pocket. The kwami poked his head out and pointed his ears in the direction of the sound, focusing on Gabriel's voice. The kwami shot him a worried look. Apparently he hadn't misheard after all.

'But I will get them, dear, I promise,' now his father's voice broke and a sob escaped him. 'I've learned more about the powers of Ladybug and Black Cat's miraculouses, and I've managed to decode some of the Moth miraculous pages, too. I am getting closer.'

Adrien felt the sudden rush of blood going straight into his head. He leaned on the brick wall of the corridor to steady himself. Plagg flew out of his hideout and to the exit of the passage, leaving the boy alone. This must have been important.

'I will get you back, love,' Gabriel babbled, his speech now peppered with sniffs and sighs. 'I just need a bit more time. Those new powers will help, I'm sure. I just…' he paused again, 'I just miss you so much, Emilie! I keep coming here though it's a torture to see you like this, but I have to. I would probably have gone crazy without seeing you all this time.'

There was a sound of body slipping to the ground, clothes scrubbing over the bricks. Adrien realised it was him. His knees wobbled and bent, unable to sustain his weight. He saw Plagg turning to him and he made a calming gesture, showing that he was fine, or as fine as he could considering the circumstances. He got to all fours and slowly started to move towards the kwami and the end of the corridor, doing his best to focus on here and now.

'I don't care if I have to akumatize the whole city, dear,' his father mumbled as the boy advanced in his crawl, 'as long as I can fix this mistake, it doesn't matter.'

There would be time to digest everything he just heard and was about to see. Now he needed to stay calm, needed to gain as much knowledge as possible. He wasn't stupid, the most important facts had already registered and Plagg's behavior clearly indicated this wasn't a dream or illusion. As one half of the superduo protecting Paris, Adrien had his responsibilities. But there was also a sort of sick fascination at the back of his head, urging him to see with his own eyes, that his ears hadn't lied to him. So he edged to the mouth of the passage and with a nod of agreement from Plagg, risked a look outside.

The space was huge, much larger than he expected based on the echo. Metal platforms ran from wall to wall and in the middle, with greenish water sloshing underneath. The opposite end of this underground cavern was covered in plants, lit by the fading sunlight coming from a huge butterfly-shaped window near the top of the chamber.

His father was standing by a human-sized glass cylinder, his hands and forehead pressed to the surface. He was shaking and whispering things Adrien couldn't make out without the funnelling effect of the passageway. His breathing hitched when Gabriel finally moved away from the glass and wiped it with a cloth.

It was ridiculous, but Adrien immediately thought about Snow White and her coffin. That's how pale his mother's skin seemed under the glass. Blonde ringlets reached her the waist - they were much longer than he remembered. She looked as if she'd been sleeping, with eyes closed, features relaxed and hands crossed over her chest. His gaze travelled to the cylinder and various tubes connected to it and disappearing among the leaves. What the hell was this place? A mausoleum? A crypt? A repository?

He couldn't muse over this much longer as he heard his father's steps over the metal platform. Plagg tugged at his shirt urging him to retreat. Adrien jumped to his feet and withdrew from the corridor as fast as he could, leaving the door closed as he had found it. He sneaked out of the basement level and then ran to his room. He didn't even stop to call his transformation. Adrien entered the room and few seconds later Chat left via bathroom window and vaulted himself over the rooftops and into the falling darkness of the Parisian evening.

Only when he finally got to the top of the Palais de Chaillot he let out a shaky breath and sagged to his knees. He knew he should release his transformation and speak to Plagg about what they had just witnessed. He knew he should get to Ladybug or Master Fu and tell them everything. But right now he needed some time to compose himself, to be left alone and think. To mourn the loss of his obliviousness and innocence.

His head was reeling. He felt as if someone suckerpunched him and then kicked for a better measure. In the span of just a few minutes he lost his family all over again. But somehow this was a hundred times worse. The mother he missed and had been trying to let go of for so long was apparently still alive. The father who had made himself scarce in fact had abandoned him to pursue an insane plan of acquiring magical artifacts in order to fix an unknown mistake. Adrien suddenly felt as if the last three years of his life had been a mistake too.

Three years ago he had a family, a home, a normal life. Now he was a part time superhero fighting a super villain who turned out to be his own kin. He shared a house and last name with his enemy. This thought seemed to be too big to fit into his head. He felt angry, despaired, scared and abandoned. How did one deal with something like that? It was utterly ridiculous. Like some sort of sick joke, like a fantasy story. Like a freaking Star Wars episode.

Finally giving up on reigning in his thoughts, Chat Noir scooted to the edge of the roof, pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Home was the last place he wanted to be right now, so he just sat there like a cat-themed gargoyle and watched the sunset, doing his best to clear his mind and brace himself for whatever the next day held.

He didn't notice the light stomp of feet landing on the roof behind him, nor the soft voice calling his name, until a hand squeezed his shoulder.

'Chat Noir?' Ladybug asked, taking a seat next to him. 'Are you alright?'

All it took was one look and she was already pulling him into a warm embrace. He shivered and melted into her with a quiet whimper. Nothing was ever going to be alright, he thought, but in her arms he could pretend for a while that it would be.

AN: As always I ask you to let me know what you think.

I'll try to keep posting daily, though a huge family event is coming that requires a lot of my attention.

For more miraculous content visit me on perditaalottachocolate-blog . tumblr . com . Check out tag "perdita writes" for my drabbles and fics or "perdita draws" for my lousy attempts at art. My inbox is always open!

A huge thank you to Remasa for brainstorming the plot line with me and beta reading this story.