Graveside Conversation

Mac forced himself to finish the run at a speed closer to his norm than he really felt the energy for. His legs burned. His chest burned with every breath and his head pounded. He had to admit to himself that he was not back to 100%. Murdoc's neurotoxin had done a number on his body and, if he was being honest, on his mind too. He'd done his best to rehab both, but the process was long and he was long past the end of his patience with it. The frustration caused him to push even harder, increasing his pace, knowing he was passing a safe limit.

As he struggled up the last small hill on his road, he thought about the encounter with Murdoc at the prison the day before and how spooked Jack had been when he realized that Murdoc had learned all of the information in their psych files, compromising anyone that they had spoken of in confidential sessions. Jack had talked about calling Sarah but when he'd mentioned it, his face had lost all it's color. Mac wasn't sure if he ended up calling her yet. As he turned onto his driveway, he noticed Jack's car was missing.

'I really hope that means he's on a coffee and bagel run,' Mac thought, as he gained the porch and leaned down, putting his hands on his knees, and trying to catch his breath.

"Bozer, you up yet, man?" Mac called through the house as he made his way to the kitchen. He thought he heard a murmured response from Bozer's room. He got himself a water bottle, and started a coffee for his roommate, who was coming down the hall, rubbing his eyes. "Coffee's on, man. Looks like you need it."

Bozer just nodded and prepared his mug of coffee. He stood against the counter and Mac leaned against the island, sipping his water and waiting for the other man to have a few mouthfuls of coffee. "You good?" Bozer nodded again.

"You just finish a run? You look like hell, man. You overdid it again, didn't you? How far did you…" Bozer was interrupted by Mac holding up a hand and chuckling.

"I'm fine, Boze, just a few miles. Still working up to my usual 5 miles twice a day. It's taking way too long." He stared at the floor, shook his head, and redirected the conversation. "Where's Jack?"

"Don't know, but looks like a note on the frig." Bozer motioned with a look toward the big green refrigerator, where a note was clearly hanging in Jack's handwriting.

Mac couldn't believe he hadn't seen it when he reached in for water. 'Some spy I am. That was right in front of my face,' he thought, as he reached for it. Apparently, the exertion had taken a toll on his usually sharp observation skills. He'd have to work on that.

Went to visit Dad. Catch you later, Jack

Mac read the note aloud and Bozer raised an eyebrow in response. "Maybe somethin's bother'in him, Mac. You know how he gets."

"Yeah. Well if he's not back by the time I get done my shower, I'll take a ride out that way and check on him."

Bozer nodded and drank his coffee as Mac headed off to the shower. He downed the full bottle of water and tossed it, undressed and stepped into the shower. The warm spray soothed the burning muscles, so he stayed there longer than necessary, just to relax. Even after the long shower, when he was shaved, dressed, and out of his room, Jack still wasn't back, and Mac heard Jack's voice in his own head, saying his 'Spidey Senses were tingling.' He smiled to himself, but grabbed his keys and yelled to Bozer that he'd be back in a while. He stopped in the kitchen long enough to grab some energy bars, pour two coffees in travel mugs, and pick up two water bottles. He stuffed the bars and water into his deep cargo pockets and left, kicking the door shut behind him.

The cemetery was only about a twenty minute drive this time of day. It was a gorgeous LA day and the traffic had died down, so Mac enjoyed the drive, but a feeling kept creeping in that had him a little unsettled. He wondered if that's how Jack felt when he thought something was up with Mac, then chided himself for spending too much time around his partner. Jack was sure to be fine and probably wouldn't mind if Mac stopped by to pay his respects to the elder Dalton he'd never met. He'd been known to have a chat with the old guy himself, much to Jack's amusement.

He parked the car on the narrow cemetery lane and made his way past the familiar markers toward Jack's father's stone. Wanting to announce his presence so as not to startle Jack, he stopped a few rows away and was about to clear his throat loudly or call out, when he heard an unmistakable noise. It wasn't unusual for Jack to talk to his dad's headstone and even to get a little emotional sometimes. Even if the older man claimed Delta's didn't cry, Mac knew well enough that at least this one did, when there was good reason, of course. But when he heard the choked sob, coming from the other side of the stone in front of Dalton Sr's, Mac froze. He instantly turned and walked a few rows back the way he'd come, as quietly as possible, just on instinct, to give Jack some privacy.

On his way back to the car, he had a 'what would Jack do' moment and decided that, if the situation were reversed, Jack would give him some space, but it was not like Jack to leave Mac alone in any sort of pain; physical or otherwise. He stopped and turned, muttering to himself, 'Crap. This is gonna suck.' He headed back in the direction of his partner.

"Pop, I hate this. Can't seem to do anything right. First I lose Sarah. Now she's pissed off at me all over again. And everything… I mean everything… that I told Susan is gonna see the light of day. That was never supposed to happen. Damn, this is so screwed up…I wish you could tell me what to do, Pop." Jack couldn't seem to stop the sobs that wracked him. It was all too much. Now, Mac was compromised because he didn't protect him. Sarah was compromised because he had allowed himself the small luxury of talking about his feelings. He couldn't seem to protect the ones he loved- at least not from Murdoc. His life felt out of control. He felt out of control. He put his head in his hands and just let it flow out of him. Jack was interrupted by the feeling that he wasn't alone. Two seconds later, he knew why.

Mac approached carefully. Hearing his friend crying was unsettling, a lot more that a little bit. He paused, second-guessing his plan to intrude, even if it was to try and help. He bit his lip and coughed purposefully, then rounded the gravestone in front of Jack's dad's.

"Hey, old man, you ok?" he asked as Jack jumped up and turned away from him, scrubbing his face with his sleeves.

"I told you I'd be back, man!" Jack said, a little heat creeping into his voice.

"I'm sorry. I was…uh…worried. Clearly I had a reason. You ok?"

"Yeah, sorry," Jack stared with a little less heat, "I mean you just surprised me is all. You know I get a little sappy when I talk to my old man. I'm ok. You want to sit?" Jack motioned to where he was sitting moments before. Mac nodded and took a seat on the ground, leaning up against the stone. Jack sat next to him, shoulder to shoulder.

"Hello Mr. Dalton," Mac tried for a little levity. "How's it goin'? Sorry to pop in unannounced. Just checkin' on your son. He tends to show up here when he's upset about somethin' so…..well, here he is, so here I am… just tryin to find out if I can do anything to….uh…help." Mac dared a side- glance at his friend, who was staring at his father's stone and now cracking a watery-eyed grin and shaking his head.

"I'm ok, Mac. I just….feel like I can't do anything right; can't protect you. Can't protect Sarah….It's like I kinda suck at my job, kid.

"Jack, you gotta stop blaming yourself for talking to a therapist confidentially. You should be able to do that. You had no way to know that Murdoc would get those records or use them to get to me…or Sarah. Did you talk to her? Is that what this is about?" Mac prodded gently.

"I did. She's not mad. She was upset at first, but not with me. She knows it wasn't something I did on purpose. Heck, she even told me to talk to someone new, but to let her vet them this time!" Jack chuckled a little. Mac smiled at him.

"So tell me, old man, why are you so upset, then? No one blames you; not me; not Sarah; not your dad. Why are you doing this to yourself?" Mac pushed. He watched Jack's face carefully this time. Watched as a single tear spilled over and made it's way down one cheek. Jack didn't bother swiping at it this time. He just shook his head and stared at the gravestone. "Jack?"

"I don't know, maybe I'm just not smart enough to go up against Murdoc. He got one over on us, bud… big-time. Maybe you need someone smarter and more… I don't know- detached… to look out for you. Maybe I'm just too personally invested in your safety to be objective. I don't know." Jack ran his hand over his hair forcefully, in frustration. "I started talking to Pop about it and I just got…well, you know."

Mac moved in front of Jack and took a knee there so he could look at his partner face to face. "Jack, he got one over on me too; not just you. There's no one I'd rather have watching my back. I don't want some 'detached' goon watching my back. I want you. I trust you. No one's perfect and you have to stop kicking yourself about this. And as far as being smart enough to match Murdoc, I don't think anyone is. He's a genius, but he's lacking in emotional intelligence and you've got us all beat there, man."

Jack met Mac's eyes then and reached out, pulling him into a brief hug and patting him on the back, then he backed up, holding Mac's shoulders and looking at him, frowning. "Wait, are you sayin that I just cry more than Murdoc? Cause if that's what you mean…" Mac stopped him, grinning and shaking his head and reaching for Jack' arms as he stood, pulling the older man up with him.

"No, that is not what I meant, Jack!" Mac stood back with his hands on his hips. "I meant that Murdoc has no emotional attachment to anyone and has no understanding of their motivations for protecting their family. You, on the other hand, have the strongest protective streak of anyone I know. Family is the most important thing to you, Jack. Murdoc will never understand that and it gives you….and us…an advantage." Jack carefully considered Mac's words. Mac added, "If that means we have to put up with an uncharacteristically emotional Delta, we can deal, man!" Mac chuckled and stepped out of Jack's reach as he swung at his shoulder.

"Yo! Watch yourself there, Hoss, or your protector, slash emotional Delta, is gonna lay you out right on top of Pop's resting place here!" Jack said in his best feigned-threatening voice.

"You hear that, Mr. Dalton?" Mac started to the headstone of Jack, Sr. "He's threatening me. You heard it, right? I could use a little help here!"

Jack reached out and grabbed Mac's leather jacket at the shoulder and pulled him along side him as he turned to leave. "C'mon, Junior. Pops is probably tired of both of us disturbing his eternal rest right now." He turned toward the stone, "Gotta take this young one home; See ya, Pops. Love ya." Mac smiled at the affectionate way Jack spoke to his deceased father, even if a feeling of almost-jealousy crept in since he didn't even have that with his supposedly alive father.

"See ya, Mr. Dalton," Mac called over his shoulder as Jack herded him down the row of stones and back toward their cars.

...The End...for now...