Disclaimer: We arent JK Rowling or Joss Whedon or Stan Lee.

Tony's POV

"Sir. I would advise you to wake up now. There are people trying to praise your helmet off. Wake up, Mr. Stark."

Tony groans. "I'm up J. What's going on? If it's Pepper, then lock her out of the lab."

"No sir. Ms. Potts is in Washington DC for the conference. You are currently in London."

At that, everything came back to Tony. Flying over the Atlantic and getting crushed by a.. Giant? Maybe he was hallucinating. He probably had too much to drink in that party. He slowly tries to raise his head to get a glimpse of where he'd ended up. In front of him, there were three people, wearing the most outlandish outfits he'd ever seen. What was this? Comic Con? And they were brandishing intricately carved prices of wood at him. He must've hit his head harder than he thought.

"Blimey! Took you long enough to wake up, mate!" said the guy to the left. His accent was distinctively British. Of course that would make sense. He was in London.

"It's a miracle you're alive after Hagrid crushed you." Tony swivels around to see a boy who was identical to the first one. Twins. "Maybe he's a death eater, dad"

At this Tony raises his hands up and lights up his repulsor. These people were crazy. He had to get out of here. Pepper would be worried senseless.

"I'll show you how death eats." He smirks.

Before he can blast the kid off, the people around him start saying strange words and waving their sticks around. The words were probably Latin. Romanoff would know. Light starts pouring out of their sticks and hits his armor. He needed to learn that party trick. But first, "Was that supposed to hurt?"

The people around him looked shocked at his question. They might want to hurt him, but they didn't look evil. So he raised his hand towardss the ceiling, and fired off a blast. There was a huge bang. Surprisingly, the roof didn't fall on them. In hindsight, maybe he should've thought about that before.

"Stop! Stop!" A messy black haired boy ran down the stairs to his left, shouting. Tony raised an eyebrow and then realised that the boy couldn't see him through his faceplate. He lowered it.

"We're sorry to have brought you-" the boy began.

"Kidnapped me." Tony corrected with a pointed look at him.

"- here." The boy continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. Tony was getting tired of calling him 'the boy'. He had to learn his name soon. "We-"

"Do you know this man, Harry?" A pale, shallow-faced man asked him.

These people didn't know who he was? They were probably as backward as their clothes. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen a single electronic equipment.

"Have you all been living in a cave?" Tony asked incredulously. "Don't answer that. This dump definitely looks like a cave. Maybe add a few lightbulbs, a TV on that wall there," he gestures to a faded white wall on the far end, the only one not covered with eccentric trinkets, that according to Tony shouldn't even be legal in this century.

The man one of the twins called dad earlier looked like a kid in Candyland. "A TV you say?" His voice was laced with curiosity. "Does it perhaps run on some form of the eclectic?" Tony was having a sense of déjà vu. Wasn't that exactly what Steve asked on the helicarrier? Of course atleast Capsicle knew how to say electricity. "Gracious, Molly!" He continued. "It probably has a plug!"

Before Tony could comment, the pale-faced man from before interjected. "Are you with the Muggle, er, the police?"

"I'm Iron Man." Tony declared as if it explained everything.

The boy with the too big spectacles - and was that a lighting bolt shaped scar on his forehead?- was grinning widely. "I'm Harry," and he points out everyone else in the room. "Arthur and Molly Weasley, the twins - Fred and George, Remus Lupin, and they" he pointed at the two kids on the stairs, "are Ron and Hermione."

Tony waits for further explanation about who they are and why they had a giant kidnap him.

"...and we're Wizards."

Tony blinked. And then all the floating candles and self-cleaning dishes registered in his mind. "Great. Now I have to deal with magic, because having two Norse Gods in my life wasn't enough." He mutters.

At this, Harry grinned sheepishly, but he didn't look very sorry.

Tony sighed. "I have to get back to the States now." He was terrified of what Pepper would do to him when he goes back. "Jarvis, prepare a flight plan to the Tower. But before that, I need the best bacon cheeseburger you can find around here." Jarvis doesn't reply. "Not again." He sighs to himself. He turns to Lupin, "My suit isn't working. I need a week to make repairs. Where is the nearest hotel?"

"Oh no! You can stay here as long as you want. Bill and Fleur's wedding is coming up! And I won't listen to any excuses. You're staying here and that's final."

Tony had long since learned never to argue with redheads when they're this determined. He sees Arthur smirking at him and rolls his eyes. "Alright," he agrees, "thank you."

Suddenly, there was a blast. Everyone turns around to look at the youngest ginger haired boy in the room. Except, he didn't have a head.

Molly starts screaming at the giggling twins. Her face was red, and the scene was quite comical. He didn't have to be a genius to figure out that they were the cause of Ron's disappeared head. Tony had to try hard not to burst out laughing. He didn't want her anger directed at him. This was going to be a long week, but an entertaining one.

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Hopefully the next chapter won't be far behind.