Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem Awakening, all rights to the owners.

Minor: Dark Flier, Immortal, Exploitive, Swordmaster, Angry Cinnamon Roll, Tripping, Perpetual Cheer, Chef, Blacksmith, Pegasus Knight, Teacher, Librarian, Masochist, Literal-Minded, Authoritative, Phobia, Thicc, Tsundere, Damsel in Distress, Gangrel's Child, Communist, Bomber, Bear Cavalry, Flying, ADHD, Super Strength, Patriotic, Scottish, Sassy, One Liner, Seamstress, Shephard, Speedy, Cool, Shy, Bookworm, Sweet, Kung Fu, Buff, Lazy, Wingless Flight, Blunt, Elf, Dwarf, Scottish, Melancholic, Punny, Dark Mage, Dragoon.

Standard: Elemental, Deaf, Nurse/Medic, Valmese Tactician, Medusa, Gift from Validar + Evil to Good, Mimic, Emotionless, Crippling Overspecialization (Idiot Savant), Coward, ESP, PTSD, Magician, Handicapped, Secret Helper, Morpher, Dreamwalker, Twins, Animal Whisperer, Tiki Assistant, Deadly Touch, Mind Reader, Doppelganger, Arachne, D&D magic, Dominatrix, Songstress, Kinky, Matchmaker, Androphobic, Illusionist, Attraction Aura, Ring Maker, Teleporting, Crippled, Depressed, Slave, Love Curse, Geokinetic, Trauma, Siren, Changeling, Shapeshifter.

Unlikely: Chrom's child, Minotaur, Paladin, Werewolf, Future Soldier, Bounty Hunter, Weather control, Kleptomaniac, Druid, Steampunk, Shadow Familiar, Magic Augmentation, Lucky, Exile, Piper (Charmer), Gladiator, Witch Doctor, Centaur, Drunk, Demon, Punk, Harpy, Revenant, Luck Manipulation, Demon Summoner, Megalomaniac, Kitsune, King of Plegia, Mood Ring, Reverse Aging, Hammerspace, Prostitute, Demon Hunter, Cyborg, Deadlord, Rebellion, Einherjar, Trap, Yandere, Living Weapon, Size Shifter, Queen of Plegia, Gluttonous, Stretchy, Alchemist, Protoss, Spirit Manipulation, Invisible, Plegian Honor Guard, Mecha, Kryptonian, Creator, Orc, Memory Stealing Respawn, Racer, Khan, Misfortune, Vampire Hunter, Imaginary Actualization, Death, Resurrection, Force, Merchant, Background Music, Variable, Civilian, Natural Disaster, Mental Noise Projection, Hidden OP, Summoner, Cyclops, Teleporter, Cryokinetic, Genie, Judge, Intangibility, Fortune Teller, Serial Killer, Magic Fixit, Drakengard Restoration, Ying-Yang, Childhood Friend, Cyberpunk, Chrom's Mother, Obsessed, Berserker, Phase Shift, Gravity Manipulation, Hallucinating, Bladesoul, Zombie, Double Entendre, Shared Body/Two Souls, Cannibal, Violent, Waterbender, Casanova, Cupid, Undertaker, Master Thief, Guard, Faceless, Shadow, Age Control, Cradle Snatcher, Emo, Nun, Courier, Haunted Knight Armor, Egyptian, Sentient Object, Shit Lord, Court Wizard, Naga's sibling, Mad Queen, Artist, Predator, Cheshire Cat, Radio Host, Chimera, Wendigo, Witch, Symbiote, Hivemind, Hammerspace, Anna, Mother Nature, Psychopath, Stripper, Painting, Grima Parts, Knightmare, Super, Swimsuit, Bunny Outfit, One Punch, Idol, Chef, Rampage, Housewife, Determination, Vessel of Naga, Instant Expert, Time Travel, Hermit, Alternate Dimension 'Twin', Legendary, Resistance, Memory Regain, Umbra Witch, Naga, Aquatic, Hexblade Warlock, Dragon, Demon of Choice, Demon of Temptation, Affliction, Good Samaritan, Gallant, Rosannite Tactician, Leeroy, Dungeon, Apparition, Unwilling, Wildlife Commander, Consistent Kidnapee, Grenadier, Magic Creature, Alternating Mind Control, Sothis in the Mind, Exalt, Unicorn, Pegasus, Alicorn, Star Lord, Slenderman, Bird Laguz, Junk Dealer, Gate Guardian, Shaman, Ghostbuster, Exorcist, King, Soldier, Bird Wings, Failed Vessel, Of the Corn, Valentian, Harem, Car, Incubus, National Personification, Gravity Magic, Kraken, Zora, Kirby, Moon, Quadruplets, Unnoticed, Inventor, Bastilio's Kid, Treasure Hunter, Future, Mind-Swapping, Criminal, Hunter/Tracker, Biker, Gigantic Sword, Miracle, Medium, Warlord, Greater Good, Acrobat, Mother of Chrom, Soul Stealer, Mid War Memory Loss, Detective, Reverse Memory Loss, Sentient Item.

Okay, here's an interesting one. Naga's Assistant Robin, suggested by samhendersonxtjx. The hardest part about this chapter was deciding how the premise actually works.

I decided to be a bit ridiculous with this chapter because it was funny to me. Enjoy.

The man glances around the forest clearing. He asked the local priest to find him a suitably pleasant location, and the man delivered. There's nice flowers dotting the place, and it's obscured from the village by trees and bushes. It's nice and secluded, but not too far away from the village. Perfect

The man's name is Robin, and he's dressed in clothes incredibly unfitting for his occupation. He wears a grey and purple longcoat with eyes embroidered on the surface. He also has imposing dark red hair and purely black eyes, and stark burn scars on the left side of his face going down his neck and disappearing underneath his clothes. He looks like a grimleal, yet he's known as the Caller of Naga because he can supposedly bring Naga's attention to an area.

It's probably for the best no one actually sees, or more importantly hears, him at work. He takes a moment to set up some tiki torches which he lights with dark fire, an ominous purple flame born of dark magic. He then falls to his knees and raises his hands to the sky with a grin on his face.

"Oh great and powerful dragon babe, hear my call! This dank village is having problems with making the sky cry. They ain't sinful enough to make the clouds weep, and so request your vile ass to do it for 'em!"

To anyone watching, they would hear Robin's voice and then silence. Robin, however, hears something else. He hears a long, amused sigh.

"I'm starting to think you do not know how to speak to me normally Robin."

"I beg to differ! I just like to give my summons the appropriate amount of pizzaz!" Robin says. "So bring the rain dragon babe! The villagers demand it!"

"Demand it, hmm?"

"Well, more like beg desperately, but demand sounds less pathetic. I'm being generous." Robin explains cheerily.

"How bad is the situation actually?"

"There's been a bit of a drought here, but the situation isn't bad yet. The river they take water from for irrigation hasn't dried up or anything, but the water levels are getting lower and soon their channels will dry up, if not the river itself. So nothing really bad has happened yet, but it might soon so they're worried. They also have some reserves, they're pretty well prepared actually."

"I see…"

"Do you? So if I wave, you can see it?" Robin asks cheekily. He waves at the sky. "Hey hot stuff!"

Naga sighs again. "Yes, I can actually see you. Hello Robin."

"So what do you think? Is this place worth a bit of your power?"

"Unfortunately, I think not. As much as I wish to help, I think it best to conserve my power for a more pressing situation."

It's a common misconception that Naga is a goddess. She is not. She is a very powerful and magically capable full-blooded dragon. This means, however, that she is not omnipotent, she is not all powerful, and she does not have infinite magic. The first and last point are particularly problematic for someone who is acting as a protector to so many people.

Naga is not omnipotent. She can scry on any location in the world, but not the whole world at once, and scrying is limited in scope. She is limited to the point of view provided by her scrying. If she scrys in the air, she cannot see inside buildings. If she scrys to the inside of a building, she is limited in sight by open doors and windows. Scrying is only of limited use to be frank, so Naga relies on prayer which has its own issues.

Naga can hear all prayers directed at her. Every single one. However there is no queue system, and no filter. If a thousand people pray at once, she hears every single one of them at one time and it all becomes a garbled mess. She can choose to block out all but one prayer, but she has no way of going back to hear those prayers she blocked. This means she rarely hears anything useful, as so many prayers are for extremely minor things, are selfish, or simply prayers of devotion.

It's not that Naga doesn't appreciate devotion, but it's really not helpful to her actually being able to help everyone to have a million praises blocking out the cries for help.

The fact that Naga does not have infinite magic is also an issue. She can stop a hurricane, or open a magic portal, but neither of those are simple feats. If she uses her magic on that, she won't be doing anything significant with her magic for months. She has to pick and choose, and ration out her power to things of importance. That is why she can't help this village, even if it may soon be in need of aid. There are simply better uses for her magic than stopping a minor drought for which the village is already somewhat prepared.

It's a sad truth that Naga has had to leave people to die before, as some things are simply uneconomical to use her powers on. She could spend all of her power to cure one person of a horrible and powerful curse, but then she would not have power to stop a plague in the future, or halt an earthquake and save thousands. Having so many people under your watch and so little magic in comparison to that huge number is a cruel situation to deal with.

That second issue is not one that Naga can get around. Her magic is simply limited. She lives in a magic-rich area to help regenerate her mana more quickly, but that's as much as she can do. The solution to the first issue is Robin. It is hard for her to locate issues due to the cluttered mess that is prayers, so rather than relying on them she has Robin travel the world finding issues for her to deal with. It's not a perfect solution by any means, as now her perspective is limited to Robin, but Robin is better at finding issues than she will ever be so at the very least focusing on him is more effective than listening to random prayers.

"Alas, the dragon babe is a cruel, sexy mistress…"

Even if he is an irreverent clown.

"But hey, at least I get to hear your lovely voice, so it's not a total loss!" Robin says cheerfully. He doesn't want Naga to feel too depressed about not being able to help. He knows it weighs on her heavily. "Such a shame I can't see your face too. What sort of employer won't even look at her employee? So cruel!"

"You know why I can't appear before you Robin, I must-"

"-stay in your cool magic crystal cave for mana regeneration, yeah, I know. Can't do that unless it's important." Robin huffs. "I wanna visit there at some point."

"Perhaps if you are ever in the area, though even then it is very dangerous to access the cave. The Titan Sinkhole is not a welcoming place, and the alternate entrance takes a very long time to navigate."

"Aww…" Robin huffs. He knew that would be the answer, but it's still disappointing. "One day I am going to visit you. You can't stop me."

"I can." As in she certainly has enough power to.

"But you won't." Robin says. They both know that's true. "I will find you at some point, and I will ogle you." And by that he means he'll give her a friendly hug, but at the moment he's got an act to keep up! He's dedicated to looking like a mildly perverted irreverent smart ass and he takes pride in his acting!

"I will look forward to it, at some point."

"At some point." Robin repeats, making it a promise.

Naga's presence fades away. Robin chuckles and takes down his tiki torches. Those torches are a bit of a joke between them. Naga has a daughter by the name of Tiki, so Robin uses tiki torches when calling Naga. Originally it was a one-off joke where he claimed he was using her daughter's "favourite" items to summon Naga (to be clear, Tiki's favourite items are not tiki torches) as obviously being called "tiki" torches must mean they're religiously relevant, and now he uses them every time to keep the joke going.

Robin has never actually met Tiki. He's never gone to the Valentian continent. He should probably put that on his list of things to do.

"Hmm… if Tiki is her daughter, that means big N had a partner at some point, right?" Robin muses. He can't refer to Naga by name in his thoughts or else she'll hear him. Part of her being so focused on him means she can hear whenever he mentions her, even if just in his thoughts. When he wants to think privately, he has to be careful not to think her name which is really difficult sometimes. "She's never mentioned anyone else. Wonder how Tiki came around then… I shouldn't pry though."

Doesn't mean he isn't curious, but he's not rude enough to go poking around.

With everything cleaned up he makes his way back to the church. He could deliver bad news, but other people don't realize he actually talks to Naga. No, everyone merely thinks his prayers are particularly effective at drawing her attention (which is technically true), but that also means he doesn't have to say "she's not going to help" because no one knows he actually talks to her.

The priest meets him at the entrance of the church with a hopeful expression. "Did it go well, brother Robin?"

Another quirk of being considered a religious figure, people give him all sorts of arbitrary titles. Robin isn't clergy at all, but people treat him like he is. He's been called Brother, Father, Prophet… and also Heretic, Blasphemer, and all the negative ones. There are plenty of people who don't like him saying he has special privilege in drawing Naga's attention (even if it is actually true).

"I felt Naga's gaze on us." Robin says ambiguously. "I felt hope and reassurance, and confidence in the preparations the village has put in place."

There. A positive message, but nothing promising rain. Sure he's totally bullshiting this, but if he's blunt and says no help is coming it's going to devastate everyone, whereas if he lies and says Naga felt confident in their abilities then they'll feel empowered and perhaps even try harder to prepare by consequence, therefore further reducing the damaging effects of the drought. A white lie here is more helpful than the truth. It's also standard procedure for Robin. Most of the time Naga can't waste her power on a problem, so Robin lies to reassure everyone but also to make sure they still put effort into trying to solve the problem (because if they know help is coming people tend to sit back and stop trying), because there is rarely a time where people can truly do nothing about a problem. He needs to empower people to act without ruining their hope. Being vague and talking about "the villagers' capabilities" makes it clear that the villagers still need to do something, but it doesn't make it sound like Naga is going to do nothing (even if she is).

It's a balancing act, and over time Robin has found the right words. Vague, slightly reassuring, but putting focus on human action.

Robin waves goodbye as he leaves. It's already past noon, and he won't reach the next village in time for nightfall, but that's fine. He likes camping.

###

"Eyy, Naga, my best buddy old pal old buddy! Emphasis on old! You ancient hag you!"

"Flattering as always Robin. What is it?"

"There's a bit of a situation here. There are these things people are calling Risen roaming about. Undead-looking things. Glowing red eyes, spit purple smoke, dissolve into that smoke when killed. Can use weapons. About as tough as the soldiers they're based on." Robin reports. "So a zombie plague basically. It's not just this town either. If the tavern keeper is to be believed, there's been news of these things all over Ylisse. Every traveller coming through has mentioned them."

"That's quite a problem." Naga murmurs. "How to deal with such an issue…?"

That is quite a problem. Naga has a large skillset, but conjuring a giant zombie-destroying magic wave is not part of it. It's not that she couldn't attack a large area, but she doesn't have a spell to attack just zombies. She'd hit everything if she tried an area-of-effect attack.

"This is one of the situations where my magic is not going to be so helpful." Naga admits reluctantly.

"I see." Robin makes no more jokes here. This is serious. He blasts something with fire magic and asks "so what's the plan?"

"You are a tactician, are you not?"

"I haven't had to use those skills in a good long while." Robin says. "But yes."

"If you had command of a competent team, could you deal with this threat?"

"Well… hmm… not really. I do tactics, specifically small unit tactics. If you're asking if I could organize a country to deal with these Risen, then no, I can't." Robin says. "I could potentially develop tactics for fighting Risen bands by exploiting common tendencies among them and provide those tactics to Ylisse, and personally deal with strong threats provided I have some help, but that is the extent of what I can do."

"That is still help Ylisse could use. I suggest you make your way to Ylisstol." Naga says. "Offer your expertise to the royal family to deal with the crisis."

"If you say so." Who is Robin to argue with a sort-of dragon goddess? "Just let me finish cooking these corpses."

###

"Yo Princey! What's up?"

Chrom stares in utter confusion at the random grimleal-looking, burned man striding towards him. He's never seen this man before in his life. "Hello? I'm in a bit of a rush at the moment-"

"Because of the whole Risen thing, right"

Chrom nods impatiently. "If you have something to say, could you please be quick?"

"Right. I'm a tactician. I'm here to offer my services to help deal with the issue." Robin says simply.

"Oh." Chrom has no idea how to deal with that at the moment. "Erm, can I get back to you? I have a meeting."

"Ah, right. Don't let me keep you up any longer." Robin nods. He watches the prince job off, smiling in amusement how the man didn't raise a fuss about a random man who looks like a grimleal walking around the palace.

"There he is!" The guards bark as they rush around the corner.

"Oops, gotta move."

###

"So, like, I know I should be talking to a military recruiter or something-"

"It's you again!" Chrom says in surprise.

"Hi! Yes! It's me! Hello!" Robin says cheerfully.

"Who is this Chrom?" Lissa asks in confusion. "Why is he standing in a window?"

"That's- why are you standing in a window?" Chrom asks with equal confusion.

Emmeryn is also in the room. She calmly sips her tea while gazing up at the strange man leaning in from a window nearly a dozen meters from the floor. "I knew I should have taken tea in my quarters and not the dining hall…"

"Well the guards were starting to object to me being here, so I had to get a bit more sneaky about moving around." Robin says. He calmly jumps down from the window and uses a simple wind spell to slow his fall. "So hi! I'm Robin! Caller of Naga and a tactician! I'm here to help!"

It's been so long since Robin has actually had a normal conversation with someone. Usually he's either doing his whole "Caller of Naga" thing or reporting to Naga. When was the last time he just talked to someone? He doesn't even talk to the tavern goers usually because he camps so often. Welp, time to bumble!

"Did you say Caller of Naga?" Lissa says with sudden excitement. "You're the guy who's been gifted Naga's power!?"

That's what people are saying he can do here? Geeze, rumors really distort things. He's only ever claimed he can feel her attention and vague messages. Lissa isn't exactly wrong, Naga has gifted him power on some occasions, but he's never told or shown anyone so she has to be getting that from rumor. "I've never claimed that, but yeah, I'm that Caller of Naga. I'm a tactician! I already said that. Uh… hi? Wait, I said that too…"

"Why are you here?" Chrom asks.

"I'm here to offer my services! I told you this before. You forgot? Rude…" Robin's heart is pounding in his chest. It's ridiculous that he's getting an adrenaline spike for something simple like this. It's been so long since he's had a somewhat normal conversation. "I'm a tactician! A really good one! I just need some troops to experiment with to develop those tactics. I promise they'll survive! I'm really good!"

Even Robin is aware how ridiculous it sounds. Even Naga can tell… which is probably why she decides to lend him a hand.

Chrom sighs. "Look, there's no way we can… uh…" His eyes widen and he stares blankly behind Robin. Both Lissa and Emmeryn have a similar reaction (though Emmeryn composes herself quickly) "No way…"

Robin doesn't know what they're staring at, so he turns around to look and- "Wait, that's what you look like? I thought you were a dragon! I kept calling you a dragon babe as a joke! I didn't realize you were actually hot! Why the hell didn't you tell me to stop!?"

"Robin please…"

"You must have thought I was hitting on you the entire time!"

"Robin-"

"I've been doing that for years!" Robin shouts. "Years! Capital E yEars! Why on Earth did you put up with me!?"

"This really isn't the time Robin." Naga murmurs. An illusory image of her is hovering over the small group. She chooses to address the three of the exalted family. "Please pardon my subordinate, but he speaks the truth about his capabilities. He can be a powerful help to you if you will lend him the resources to devise his tactics."

With someone who is considered a goddess vouching for him, the agreement of the exalted family is a forgone conclusion.

"What the heck Naga?!"

"We will talk later Robin."

"But-"

"Later." She repeats firmly, though not unkindly, and the illusory image flickers out of existence.

###

Fighting Risen is an issue of efficiency of resources. It's rare to fight a group of Risen smaller than your own group, so you need to be able to use all your troops efficiently without leaving an exploitable opening.

The biggest issue with Risen is simply getting overwhelmed. If the Risen rush at you and you aren't prepared, you die. Simple as that. There are a few ways to deal with this.

One: Choke points. This is the old reliable standby that any semi-competent tactician will know about. Choke points allow a group to engage a larger group without that larger group being able to leverage their numbers to make more attacks because the actual combat line is small. The larger group has larger reserves, but each group is going to have close to an even amount of people actually fighting each other which is a lot more even. This is a very simple to understand tactic and just requires observing the terrain. Even leaderless peasants can pull this off somewhat effectively. It's very easy to use indoors (or simply through an entrance).

Two: Large scale magic. This is much more resource intensive and relies on having one highly competent magic caster, or several medium level casters. In order to prevent the Risen from overwhelming your group you can cut lines into their ranks, making so only a certain amount of them are actually hitting you at once. This is a very powerful option that works on open terrain, but you have to have extremely accurate and powerful magic and highly effective frontline fighters that can deal with one wave before the next hits. It's good for elite teams, but not so much for common soldiers due to the skill and power required to pull it off.

Three: Trenches. This requires setup. If you can predict where a Risen hoard will attack, you can dig trenches around that location. With trenches the Risen have to go through, you can man the trench with a thin line of soldiers with long spears. Thanks to an artificial high ground advantage provided by the Risen having to go into the trenches and the long reach of the spears, one man can hold his section of the trench against dozens of foes simply because they'll never actually be able to get to him. It does require a deft hand and good melee aim, so for peasants it's not a great plan, but for common soldiers this is a very potent defensive strategy.

This also doesn't account for ranged Risen, but thankfully most Risen are not ranged troops. Archers are uncommon, and mages are rare. Dealing with archers is easier than dealing with mages. Large shields can pretty easily protect someone from archers, because to shoot at any sort of range you have to shoot in an arc so the arrows rain down on opponents. Just hold the shield above you, and you're set. Even a wooden shield will work. The arrow might poke through and hit your arm, but that's better than an arrow to the head.

Mages just have to be dealt with beforehand. Shoot them, hit and run, something. Robin's standard tactics tend to fall apart when dealing with mages. It's an unfortunate reality that there's no easy way to counteract magic. For soldiers this is much easier, as a few competent snipers should be able to deal with mages. For peasants… there's little to be done. A mage is a huge issue that, unless they have a few skilled hunters who can try to snipe it, there will be no easy way to deal with.

This all presumes the Risen are in some coherent group. If the Risen are scattered and approaching from all directions then some of the tactics are less useful. Large scale magic is a lot less useful against random scattered mobs that approach from all directions, but considering that's a tactic for the elite the groups that would employ it should be able to deal with a disorganized mob just fine. Trenches could be employed against a mob attacking from all directions, but that would require a lot more time to make and a lot more people to man the trenches. Choke points… will probably work fine. They're mostly in buildings anyways, so it's not like the Risen have many approach options.

Dealing with elite Risen groups is not something Robin can simply make a formula for. He can't simply say "use choke points". Elite Risen groups require customized tactics and an elite team to counter them. That's to be expected.

"So that's the gist of it." Robin explains to his small audience of Chrom and a few military generals and advisors. "On the most basic level at least. Questions?"

"How do you expect us to afford the time, money, and resources to train every villager in Ylisse?" General Hawtank asks critically. "We barely have a military as is."

"The best part about some of these tactics is that they're easy." Robin says. "The villagers don't need training to use them somewhat effectively. If they can hold and thrust a spear, even sloppily, then they can use choke points to protect themselves. If they can dig, they can use trenches. You don't need to train them, though that would be more useful if you could, you just need to send a messenger out to explain the tactics. As for money… well that's not my area of expertise, I can't really comment on that. I'm a tactician, not a logistician."

General Hawtank does not look happy about it, but he doesn't comment further. Robin never claimed to have a miracle solution, he only claimed he could develop effective tactics and that's exactly what he's done.

Maybe because he's endorsed by Naga people expect him to solve everything. Chrom recognizes this issue, because Robin has a very specific and very limited skill set that people seem to ignore. Robin is good at small unit tactics specifically. Not army tactics, not logistics, and not country-wide planning to systematically eliminate Risen. The generals want all that and more, as if those specific things aren't their job.

Only General Dullberry seems to understand this. He's been silent for most of the meeting. Despite being the most senior and most competent member of this military council he tends to get talked over. Being an old, common-born, soft-spoken man in a group of young(er) noble-born egotists doesn't lend well to him being actually listened to.

Thankfully Chrom isn't stupid, so he knows to pay attention to the old man. General Dullberry muses over what's been said, ignoring the other generals who are continuing to bother Robin about details that really aren't his problem rather than actually discussing the tactics. The general meets Chrom's eye, then simply nods. He approves.

Well, that's good enough for Chrom. It's not like the other generals are saying or going to say anything useful. It was a formality to even invite them to this meeting. The only other person he wished could have been here was Phila, but she's off dealing with elite Risen alongside her best troops.

###

Ylisse and Plegia cooperating to deal with the Risen. Who thought he'd see the day? That's all good for Robin. His job is mostly done anyways. With Ylisse and Plegia cooperating, the Risen are able to be kept relatively in check.

That means Robin can move on! Working with the Shepherds to develop tactics was fun and all, but Robin has a job to do. He's got places to visit and problems to tell Naga about!

Speaking of Naga. "What the fuck!? Since when were you human?"

"I thought you were already aware. I've always been depicted as humanoid in artworks." Naga explains. "And I am not human exactly, I keep to a human form to prevent draconic mental degeneration, and also to be less threatening to those who see me. A large dragon, benevolent or not, tends to scare people."

"You should have told me to stop! Why didn't you tell me to stop!? I would have stopped if I knew!" Robin whines.

"I found it amusing." Naga admits. "I saw no reason to ask you to stop. It is a rare opportunity to experience jokes for me, and even more rare to receive flirtation. Being seen as a goddess tends to eliminate those things towards me from all but the rude or selfish."

"I'm rude! That's the whole issue here!"

"No, you are not, and therefore there is no issue." Naga hums. "You would be rude if your actions could reasonably be expected to be offensive, and I was not in on the joke, which I am. So again, there is no issue."

Robin narrows his eyes at the sky where he assumes Naga must be watching him from. "It sounds to me like you're just trying to be nice and excuse my rudeness, and while I appreciate your kindness, it's really unwarranted here."

"Kindness? Oh no, I'm being utterly selfish." Naga responds. "I can't very well lose such a useful assistant because he's levelling false accusations at himself."

"That doesn't sound selfish to me."

"But it is. If you don't recognize it, that's simply your issue." Naga says. She sounds almost amused.

"I call bullshit."

"You can call whatever you want. It does not stop you from being wrong."

###

"Hey Naga?" It only occurs to Robin a moment later that maybe he shouldn't be calling the busy dragon goddess (sorta) just to chat. "Ah fuck, no, go away! Don't listen!"

"If this is your way of resigning, I refuse."

"That's not what I meant! I called by accident, ignore me!"

"I would be a poor employer if I did not have time to listen to my subordinate."

"It's nothing relevant and you're busy. Shoo!"

"I am always busy Robin. There is not a single moment, day or night, where I am not busy. I think I can consider myself entitled to a moment of respite."

"And you choose now of all times?" Robin sighs. "Alright, fine. What's up?"

"You tell me. You are the one who called."

"You really want to hear this huh?" Robin huffs. "I was going to ask about what you just mentioned actually. I was curious if you ever had free time. Apparently not."

"Unfortunately so."

"That sounds like a sucky life to be honest. Always being on the job." Robin says.

"Did you call just to remind me that I have no free time? I appreciate it." It's not often he hears Naga use sarcasm. "Now I can be reminded I have no free time in my free time. Thank you, truly."

"I only bring it up because I'm worried." Robin huffs. "I get that you're basically a goddess, but that seems terrible! You're a person too. You need a vacation or something."

"Robin, I am responsible for tens of thousands of lives."

"Yeah, so you really need a vacation. All that stress and no reprieve? No fair I say."

"Ah, well in that case I appreciate your concern." Naga hums. "The world is unfair sometimes. As much as I wish I could have more time to myself than a few minutes a day, the world needs me too much to allow that."

"You're not even an actual goddess. You can't split your focus and all that. You shouldn't have to deal with this."

"I have brought the talk willingly upon myself Robin." Naga soothes. "Do not enrage yourself over my situation."

"It still sucks." Robin grumbles.

"Perhaps." Naga muses. "But I do not think I will be needed forever. At some point this duty I have imposed on myself will be lifted when Humanity can fend for itself, and I will be able to retire in peace with all the free time left in my exceptionally long life."

"But that won't be any time soon." Robin whispers. "And I won't be around to see it happen."

"No. No it will not." Naga agrees. "But I do not resent my duty."

Robin doesn't have a response to that. He can only nod in vague disappointment.

"I must return to my duties Robin. But thank you for the distraction." Naga says. Her presence fades, but not before she offers a few parting words. "And do not feel the need to stop your jokes on my behalf Robin. I quite looked forward to whatever odd way you decided to call me."

"She can't tell me that now." Robin grumbles when Naga's presence is completely gone. "Come on. Is she actually encouraging me to hit on and insult her? How am I supposed to do that in good conscience now that I know she's not just a dragon?"

In Robin's mind, the whole point of his jokes was that he was a human saying it to a dragon. He thought they would have completely different standards regarding appearance, so anything he said about her (at that point unknown) appearance would be funny because he was a hairless ape commenting on appearance to a giant scaly reptile. It was meant to be intentionally ridiculous, playing on a drastic physical difference. It was not meant to be a joke about the fact that he was alternatively hitting on or insulting an incredibly attractive and powerful figure of worship.

Well, okay, it sort of was supposed to be that, but only through the lens that it was absurd to even consider the idea. You know, because he thought she was a dragon!

"Uuuugh…" Robin groans. "This would be so much easier if she wasn't hot."

###

"Rosanne, check. Chon'sin, check." Robin mutters. "Valm, check."

"Robin…"

"I think that's everything." He says loudly. "I should get back to Archanea. That seems to be where all the issues are."

"Robin, don't ignore me."

"Now I just have to charter a ship-"

"I already told her to expect you."

"Fuck."

"Robin, you expressed interest in meeting her before, I don't see what the issue is now."

That was before he knew she wasn't going to be some fire-breathing lizard. What if goes up that tree and she's… he doesn't know… a bratty kid! A humanoid bratty kid! He's no good with kids! He can deal with bratty giant death lizards, but not humans. He can wrestle lizards, but not kids. "What if she doesn't like me? She's got a title! The Voice! She's super important! I can't make a bad impression on her!" What if she knows he makes jokes about her? Tiki is the reason he carries around Tiki torches!

"Robin, your first introduction to the Ylissian royal family was coming in through a window one story above them and leaping onto their dining table. If that turned out alright, I am fairly sure this will too." Naga says with obvious amusement in her voice. "Besides, she already expects you to visit. If you do not, that will make a worse impression than anything you could say to her."

"I am going to die."

"She is not going to kill you Robin."

"Hypothetically speaking."

"That is not how you use the word hypothetically. I think you mean metaphorically."

"No! Hypothetically speaking I am going to die! Literally!"

Naga sighs deeply. If Robin could see her now though, he'd be able to see her smile.

###

"Why does she have to be hot too?!" Robin whines internally. "I thought she was a kid! A child! Not a twenty-something looking sexy woman in tight red robes! How am I supposed to talk to her at all!? I'm bad enough holding a normal conversation without the added distraction! Fuck, fuck, everthing I had prepared is down the drain! She's not a kid. She's not a kid! Aaaah…"

He stares in not an inconsiderable amount of apprehension at the sleeping woman. Should he wake her up? Should he wait? Naga said she was expecting him. Does he poke her in the shoulder or something? He really doesn't want to touch her. What if she thinks he's being creepy? He's dressed in grimleal-like robes and has a weird burn scar, of course she's going to think he's being creepy! She's probably expecting some well-dressed priest type character, not him!

Robin feels more scared just looking at this woman than he ever has talking with Naga or staring down snarling Risen. This is critical! He's going to talk to his boss's daughter! He can't afford to fuck this up, and he's totally going to fuck this up.

"Maybe I should just leave. Better she thinks I'm a jackass for not showing than talk to me and think I'm either a lunatic or a creep." Robin rationalizes. "Yeah, I'm just going to leave. That's the safe choice. Sorry big N, but I have to salvage my reputation."

And then Tiki shifts, mumbles, and stretches, and Robin's option to flee vanishes. He straightens his back, trying to look as composed and calm as possible.

Tiki notices him immediately. "Oh, hello…" She yawns. "I did not mean to oversleep. I was not sure when you would arrive."

"It's fine!" Robin says. He winces at how loud he's speaking. Very smooth. He consciously tries to speak more quietly. "It's not like there was a set date."

"Even so, you should have woken me. I hope you have not been waiting long."

"No more than a few minutes." Actually it's about ten minutes, but that's close enough.

"Hmm." Tiki hums. She stands up and stretches, and moves over to a small cabinet where she removes a tea set. "Tea will take a few minutes. Do you have a preference?"

"Something tame. Sharp tastes don't agree with me." Except for salt. Robin loves salty food, but salt doesn't work so well for drinks. Robin actually doesn't like tea at all, but it feels rude to say that.

Tiki's room in the Mila Tree is rather small. There's a bed, a few drawers and cupboards, and a small table with two chairs. That's it. To Robin it looks more like a glorified cell than a living space. There's not even a fire pit (though this is part of a giant tree, so maybe that would be a bad idea), and Robin somehow doubts there are games in those cabinets. This place looks so boring! What's Tiki supposed to do all day? Sleep? Pray?

"Maybe she's like big N. She's always busy so she doesn't need much stuff." Robin muses. That's a depressing thought. Both mother and daughter, always working…

"Mother speaks of you quite often." Tiki says when she sets down the tea tray. She pours two cups and hands one to Robin. He has no idea what he's supposed to do with it. Does he blow on it? Is he supposed to drink right away? It looks hot. Maybe he should wait.

"She does?" Robin is honestly surprised. He wouldn't have figured he was important enough to be mentioned. He's just the guy who reports problems to Naga because all her followers are too busy cluttering the prayer channel for her to find anything. That's a mildly important job, sure, but it's nothing worth mentioning in his mind. "Huh. I wouldn't have thought my reports were all that interesting. It's just village issues for the most part."

"Oh no, she doesn't talk about those parts all that often." Tiki smiles. She leans forwards with and speaks in a conspiratorial whisper. "She was always quite eager to talk about how you would summon her. It is not often I can call my mother excited about something, but I do believe she looks forward to it."

That's the second time Robin has been told that, and it's still weird to think about. It wasn't weird back when he thought Naga was just a dragon. Apparently it's just him that suddenly had an issue with it.

At the same time… Naga, excited? Robin has never heard Naga be excited before. She's sounded amused before, but not excited. He's trying to imagine what she'd sound like when she's excited, and he can't imagine it.

"You look surprised." Tiki notes.

"I can't imagine Naga sounding surprised." Robin admits. "She never sounds surprised when she talks to me. Exasperated or amused maybe, if I've done something particularly strange."

"Mother probably wants to maintain her image." Tiki smiles. "She can't have her favourite subordinate losing respect for her, now can she?"

"Favourite? Unlikely." Robin thinks. "That's unnecessary. I sort of need her. It's only due to her that I can live."

Robin doesn't have much to his name. His mother was a refugee, fleeing her family to come to Ylisse. He has no land, barely any money, and only owns what he has with him. He stumbled upon an old ruined temple while wandering the Ylissian countryside after his mother's death and on a total whim called out to Naga to help him… and then she actually spoke to him. He wasn't a devout follower or anything, but she spoke to him. He still doesn't know why she chose him, but he owes his current good status and life to her.

He's fairly sure he's a sort of pet project for Naga. Some random dude she decided to help just to see what would happen. There are worse things he can think of than being a pet project for a sort-of goddess.

"How grim." Tiki chuckles. "And here I was told you were… ah, what was the term she used? An "irreverent clown" I think."

"Yeah, that sounds about right." He can imagine Naga saying that about him.

"To be fair, this was after she spent nearly ten minutes talking about how you tried to convince her to take a vacation, and how nice she thinks you are, and-" Tiki stops and tilts her head. She then smiles smugly, which is not an expression Robin expected to see. "Mother wants me to stop. Apparently I'm 'saying too much'." The tone of her voice is almost… teasing? Is Tiki teasing her mother?

"She's listening huh?" Robin thinks in quiet alarm. "I have to be careful what I say…"

The rest of the conversation is relatively tame despite Tiki's best efforts to prod for information or see some of the quirkiness that Naga mentioned fail to bear results. With the knowledge that Naga is watching and being unwilling to act oddly in front of her daughter, Robin clams up and says little of relevance for the rest of their talk.

###

"Just do what you've done before." Robin reminds himself. "Nothing has changed. It's only you who's shaken up about this."

He's never had to talk himself into making a joke before. This came naturally for years. It's actually annoying that this is difficult for him now.

Robin sets up his tiki torches and summons his dark magic to light them. He takes a deep breath, stretches, then goes down on one knee. He actually thought this up before Naga revealed herself but never felt it was complete enough to use, and after the reveal he didn't feel comfortable using it. Now seems like the time to try it out.

"Hear me, oh demon with scaled flesh! She who casts her burning light over mortal lands, and sneers with derision while listening to the cries of the weak!" Robin bellows. "Hear my words foul being! I, your master, command your attention!"

Robin waits a moment. There's always a worry when he tries something new that Naga won't hear him. From what he knows, Naga listens for key words from him. That's why if he says or even thinks her name it can draw her attention. He's fairly sure she also listens for words like "Hag" or "Babe" because those are the common jokes he would use when calling for her. He's not using any of those key words, so there's a chance she won't notice and won't respond.

Then again, Naga has always been rather perceptive. "I do believe that is a new call, is it not? A demon I am now. I have many identities apparently. And I am the servant now? My, how novel."

"Hark my servant! I would have words with you!" Robin bellows again. "I must tell you of the land of Ferox, and the small town of Frostbale!"

"Do tell."

"A late frost has struck the newly planted crops, and the people fear for their food for their stores will not last should these plants die! So they turn their pleas from more savory sources to your demonic powers to save them, putting their very souls on offer!"

"That is quite an issue..." Naga murmurs. "And you said their stores are insufficient?"

"Yes."

"I suppose this would be an efficient use of my magic." Naga muses. "Defrosting seeds is not too much of a drain. I will help."

Robin nods silently. He has no witty remark here. Naga actually deciding to use her powers is an uncommon event due to how strictly she rations them.

"I shall work tonight then." Naga decides. "Make your way to Wolfwind next when you are prepared."

"Of course." He says. "Goodnight Naga."

"Goodnight Robin."

Robin ended up being a lot different then I thought he would be. I thought he would be cocky, irreverent, and just sass Naga the entire time. Instead it felt much more fitting to have a bit of that, but also have Robin be generally concerned about Naga and genuinely care about her opinion of him.

I really like this chapter. Robin even has an arc here, which is not always something that happens.

bauers374: You fool! My enjoyment of monster girls should have tipped you off that it would be a drider-esque thing! Hahahahaha!

Izunama: Tiki is great. Can't deny.

B1ackAshes: It was a bit of a weird idea I'll admit. I think changing the setting/time of the world made it a bit awkward, but I wanted to test it out so… there it is.

LoveGlutton: Robin has already been hanging around for years. If Maribelle had a major issue with her, she would have confronted Robin a long time ago.

Half-beastdragonsoul2013: I was actually considering exactly that as the premise of the story.

Raj8: I think it's not so much the lack of combat that hinders the portrayal of Kjelle. It's the lack of addressing her views and values. Such a naturally abrasive character is always going to appear like a one-note douchebag if I don't give a look at their side of things (which I didn't do here, hence her lackluster portrayal).

I originally planned to include future Brady somewhere, but having him just show up didn't feel right (considering the loose continuity of the story) and I was already stretching the idea out as far as I could make it work. There's probably some way I could have fit him in there, a holiday where the family comes together perhaps, but I wanted to be finished with the chapter so I stopped before trying to include him.

PsychoCells76: You do know every chapter is a one-shot, right? I doubt I can fit the reaction of all the Shepherds into the epilogue if I want to fit other things.

Guest: Noted.

Luna Proc: Oh no, this list is going to remain massive. That's for sure.

TheForgottenSpartan: It also amuses me, though I have no idea what I'd do with it. I'm used to writing flirtatious Robins, especially female Robin, but even so I feel wildly out of my area of expertise trying to write that idea (which is a shame because I think it would be great).

Laughing Dog: It's only a plot hole if you're trying to fit it into the normal Awakening story. Each of these chapters exist in a world where certain events don't always occur in the same way. Someone else has been Grima's vessel before, for example.

coolguy21jz2015: Yes, that is very intentional. Robin is the most variable, but the other characters have minor differences as well (though I try to keep their changes more tame as Robin is ostensibly the focus).