And so we come to the conclusion of our story. I'll be replying to the final reviews directly.

Miyasa - Es que ella quería intentar cualquier cosa, y aunque es un mito, lo quería intentar. Je, y qué bueno que Arnold no leyó la parte de la luna de miel. ¿Sí has visto la hoja donde dice el inicio de lo que pasó?

acosta perez jose ramiro - What can I say? You can't keep a good man down.

Inudaughter Returns - YES! She CAN be taught! Lol, that Easter egg was a bit obvious, but you'd think that the die-hard fans would have noticed the others. And the ones who need parenting classes are Bob and Miriam, as you'll see in a bit.

Monvar - And without hocus-pocus too, lol.

DeepVoice'06 - That happens after you've spoken one language and didn't practice the other one for six years. And yes, if they hadn't remembered, Arnold would have changed for the worse, and it's doubtful he would become the philanthropist that many fans write him as. And lucky for Arnold, he didn't have to read the honeymoon page out loud.

A few things left to wrap up about the deconstruction, and basically to tie up all the loose ends. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and commented and sent me messages about this. If this story inspires you to write something similar, or a sequel, or an Alternate Universe, as I mentioned before, let me know, and I'll try to help you out in whatever way I can. And now, the exiting conclusion...

EPILOGUE – SUMMER FOUND

The natives crowded around the military helicopter, not quite believing that something so heavy, and made of something similar to their spearheads and jewellery, could fly like a bird, or even hover like a hummingbird, or even be noisier than the entire village shouting like they did when it was announced that their "saviours" had recovered from their strange disease of the mind. Even the chief and his wife were inspecting the aircraft, being given a "tour" by the old pilot.

It was noon now, several days after the Shortmans and Eduardo recovered their memories. The three adults were still dressed in their native garb, though, and despite Esther having brought western clothing for them, they decided to forego that for now, given that they were in the middle of the tropical summer now. The men still had long hair, beards, and moustaches, albeit now well groomed. The group, along with the children, were walking toward the helicopter.

"Are you sure you don't want to return to Santa Clara, even just to report to the head of the chapter? They HAVE been looking for you for six years, you know," said Kurt. "And I hear there's talk of six years' back pay, too—OOF!" he chuckled just before his wife elbowed his ribs.

"We…we're going to take things slowly and gradually," replied Miles.

"That might be a problem, 'brother'." Esther explained, "With you three now fully fluent in the Green-Eyed People's language, and having both English and Spanish for cross-referencing, just about every linguist on the planet is on their way here to get the grammar and vocabulary written down and recorded for posterity, not to mention historians are going to want to analyse it to see why it resembles a mix of Mayan and Keltic. You three are very much celebrities in anthropology now; you'll probably make the cover of National Geographic at least three times before this whole thing blows over, IF it ever blows over."

"They're going to have to take a numper…er…number," laughed Miles. "P—But eventually we'll return to the city, and then to Hillwood, and continue the language reports there. But first we need to tie up all the loose ends we have here. This place has p—been our home for six years, after all."

"That's right," added Eduardo as he walked along with his wife and daughter. "We made a lot of friendships here; we've helped them out in plenty, just as they helped us py—by finding us and nursing us pack…um…back to health."

Stella looked at her in-laws, and stated, "We can't just simply leave…and apan…abandon them. We…" she looked at her son, as he walked with his three friends. "We don't want to make that mistake again."

"Well," Esther began, "I'll be going back to town to prepare more packages for you, mostly videos and news reviews so you'll catch up with what's been happening in the world for the last six years, and lessen the 'Rip Van Winkle' effect as much as possible before you go back to Hillwood."

"Just…don't take too long, Sis. Sure, we need all the help we can get, but Arnie needs you poth…both."

"Speaking of Arnie," said Phil. "Your mother and I will make sure the boarding house is still in one piece, unless those boarders already burned it down or something. And we'll be taking Arnold's friends, too. They were a big help, but they also have families."

"Not to mention we have to prepare your room, you know," smiled Gertie. "And if the boarders brought in another boarder, we'll kick him out just to make room for you."

"Or better yet, we'll finally evict that bum Kokoshka," chuckled the elder.

Miles spat. "You…Oskar Kokoshka is STILL p—boarding there? And he STILL hasn't found a job?"

His father explained, "Oh, he has one…but it's not exactly an executive blue-collar type."

"He delivers newspapers," cackled his mother.

At that, everyone laughed, except Ingrid and Hortensia, so Eduardo had to translate to them what the Shortmans had just said. Once he was done, the two San Lorenzans laughed as well. Then, Ingrid said something to her husband, a bit lengthy, gesturing to both him, her daughter, and Miles and Stella.

Once she was done, Eduardo translated again, "My wife says that it's a good thing that she lives in town; she can take the helicopter to get anything we might need, and Tenchita doesn't have to sleep here all the time…p—but I don't mind having her here with me, at last."

Kurt said, "We'll see if the air traffic authorities can come here to take your statement concerning that plane crash, Eduardo. If not, we'll try to make your visit to town as stress-free as possible."

Esther quickly added, "You'll also have to talk with the insurance company. Since your plane was insured, but it wasn't found until now, you have quite a hefty sum waiting for you—besides your six years' back pay—provided Helpers for Humanity can help you get through all the red tape to get it."

Eduardo smiled. "Thank you, Esther. For everything, and for not giving up on me."

As Kurt and Esther hugged the Garcías, the tall blonde man turned to his son, and said, "Arnold, we have no problems with you staying here with us until we're ready to go pack—back, p—but…you say your friend also won't have a problem if she stays here?"

Helga quickly replied before Arnold put his foot in his mouth. "Look, Mile…uh…Mister Shortman…Doctor Shortman. My parents are a bit…what's the word…'flighty', and their jobs take up a lot of their time. That's why Esth…uh…Doctor Antoine was kind enough to write a special permission slip for me that would let me stay for longer with you. Phoebe and Gerald need to go back, but…we've seen that Arnold still needs a friend from Hillwood, even if he has you two back now, at last."

And it's not like Bob and Miriam are going to miss me, even if I don't come back until I'm fifteen, doi.

"That's right." Gerald put an arm around his friend's shoulders. "Arnold, my man, it's only been a one-week trip, but I can definitely say that this has been one summer none of us are gonna forget."

"Not to mention that it's one that is definitely real, and not a dream," added Phoebe, practically stuck at the hip with her beau.

"Too bad I gotta go back, though. But…" the African-American pondered. "I know you need to be with your folks for a while. And I'm sure they need you here, too, until they can go back home."

"Don't feel too sad, Gerald," his girlfriend winked at him as she cleaned her glasses. "I'll be going with you as well."

Trying not to blush, he stuttered, "Um…sure, Pheebs…we…gotta make sure Arnie isn't…uh…messin' with Arnold's room…or somethin'…"

Phoebe finished, "Of course. So with Helga staying here as well, we know you'll be in good hands, too, Arnold."

"Hey, someone has to stay behind and make sure Arnoldo here doesn't cause a…what was it? A cultural meltdown?" The kids looked at each other for a moment, and laughed again. "Say, Esther, see if you can tell your friends to bring some REAL food here, you know, hamburgers? Hot dogs? Potato chips? Some decent soda, at least? The local cuisine here is…acceptable, I suppose, but I'm really starting to miss good, old fashioned fast food and junk food, you know?"

The woman laughed and approached Helga. "I'll see what I can do, and…" she leaned down, "…I will be in contact with your parents. If I can get them in the right parenting seminar, you just might go back to a real home this time."

The blonde girl's usual snarkiness faded away, and for the first time in a long while, she gave a genuine smile at an adult. "Thanks…thanks for everything, Esther. I know I'm no angel, but…I…really appreciate what you're doing. And…" she sighed sadly, "…and if Bob and Miriam simply don't change…" She looked at the Shortmans, at how they were giving good-bye hugs to Phil and Gertie. "I think I can give you a good candidate for a foster home, or maybe two," she nodded at Phoebe.

"Thank YOU, Helga, for helping here in what you could. Take care of Arnold, will you? He's in a pretty vulnerable spot right now, with so many changes happening all at once in his social circle. Even if they're good, they can cause quite an amount of stress for someone his age."

"Oh, please, Esther, you underestimate your nephew. If you knew half of the things he's done to help others, even our whole neighbourhood, and all the stress he went through then…" she looked at her beloved, "…you'd be going to HIM for help. I'm just staying here to make sure the meltdowns don't repeat, after all, he did have his sad moments back home. Not too many, but he did."

With that, Esther and Helga hugged, with the girl not stiffening, but gladly accepting the embrace of an adult, also for the first time in a long while.

"Check on Arnie and my room at least twice a week, okay, Gerald?"

"And I'll be sure to show him your note where you give me permission to enter your room whenever I think it's necessary."

"I hope we don't take TOO long here. You know you need me for the baseball team."

"You AND Helga. She may be a grump…well, with the rest of us…but she's a great coach. I hope the team doesn't fall apart without you two."

The two best friends hugged, and then gave each other their secret handshake.

"So you finally took the leap of faith with Tall Hair Boy, Pheebs?"

"Much like you took it with 'Ice Cream'," giggled the short girl.

Helga blushed. "Uh…yeah…just…don't go spreading that around, okay? Not until we're both back and ready to tell the world."

"We'll keep it under wraps, Helga. And I know Arnold will be in good hands, after all, you're giving up all the comforts of civilization just to stay with him for maybe a month or more."

She sighed dreamily. "When it comes to true love, Phoebe, I would stay in the middle of Antarctica if it meant staying with Arnold. Now, you just take care of Tall Hair Boy, and don't let him rough you around, okay?"

"He won't, Helga. He's really sweet," she said, clasping her hands and having little red hearts pop out of her head.

"I'm serious, Phoebe. If he messes with you, just send me a letter or telegram or something, and I'll hop on the next plane to Hillwood to pay him a visit along with Ol' Betsy and the Five Avengers."

"I'm right here, you know," the boy in question leaned in. "And don't worry about your best friend, Helga. If anythin', worry about anyone else who tries to mess with her, because they'll be dealin' with me LONG before you can mess with them."

Helga crossed her arms and huffed at Phoebe's new boyfriend. "Whatever. But just know that I'll be holding you to that, Tall Hair Boy. You hear? If I hear anyone did something wrong to my friend and you didn't do anything, I'll first deal with them, and then I'll deal with you."

"Should I say the same thing about you and Arnold? He's MY best friend after all. Can I trust you to treat him well, just like I'll treat Phoebe well? You HAVE been bullyin' him since preschool, you know"

Here, the blonde girl stood still. No boy had ever demanded anything from her the way Gerald was, not without preparing a full insult-filled retort. But with both Arnold and Phoebe present, and realising he had a point, she just replied, "You can trust me, Gerald. Arnold will no longer be bullied by me, and anyone who bullies him will first meet his karate moves, and then Ol' Betsy and Company. Can we now agree we'll be good to our best friends, and we'll beat each other to a pulp if we don't?"

He looked at her for a moment, and said, "I can do that."

With that, the two settled for a handshake, and then Helga hugged Phoebe good-bye.

Once Phil and Gertie hugged their son and daughter-in-law, it was Esther's turn to hug her sister. "I'm so glad I found you," she began without letting her go. "The family hasn't been the same without you."

Stella leaned back to look at her eyes. "I'm so glad you and the rest of our friends never gave up on us, Sis."

"You might say that it was your son who was part of the kickstart to get this group trip going. He never gave up on you, just like your in-laws never did, either."

"Do you want to spend Christmas with us this year? Somehow…I feel like this holiday season is going to be huge."

"We'll be sure to be there. You've seen how much your son has grown, just wait till you see how much your nephew has grown, too!"

"Arnie! How's he doing?"

"He's been doing well, though you might say he's a bit on the eccentric side, but it's on the good eccentric side. You're going to love him."

"I'm sure I will. P—Be sure to call him up once you get p—back to town, okay?"

"I will, mother," chuckled Esther, and both siblings laughed and embraced again. Moments later, Kurt hugged Stella, and Miles hugged Kurt, without mincing words, as there was nothing left to say, but instead show the love that the family had for each other.

With that, Phil, Gertie, Kurt, Esther, Gerald, Phoebe, and several Helpers for Humanity workers boarded the helicopter, and the rest backed away to allow it to take off. Once everyone was near the cave entrances, the chief raised his hands and declared something. He gestured at their "saviours" and their children, and at the helicopter. When he finished, the villagers cheered.

Miles translated for Arnold and Helga, "He declared that their time of secrecy has come to an end, and they'll allow the Helpers for Humanity workers to come and go as they please, since they've shown that they have wanted to help them all this time. He also apologised for keeping their 'city' secret, because it was that secrecy that prevented our families from being reunited for so long. He will allow any visitor who proves himself peaceful—meaning that they will have to clear permission with Helpers for Humanity in order to come here. And he has given 'permission' to the 'iron hummingbird' to take off and go to 'the land of square mountains'."

"Well, Football Head, are you disappointed that he didn't declare you a god or something?"

He chuckled. "Nah. I'll take this reality over any silly old dream."

Just then, the helicopter blades began spinning, and moments later the aircraft took off from its improvised helipad, rising above the jungle treetops. All the occupants waved good-bye to everyone on the ground, and everyone on the ground did the same, including the villagers.

As the helicopter headed back to civilization, inside, the three couples there did what seemed right to do at this point.

Kurt and Esther looked at each other, and they kissed.

Phil and Gertie looked at each other, and they kissed.

Gerald and Phoebe looked at each other, and they kissed, deeply, much to his surprise again.

On the ground, Eduardo and Ingrid looked at each other, and they kissed.

Miles and Stella looked at each other, and they kissed.

And not wanting to be left out, Arnold and Helga looked at each other—

"There's time for THAT now again," he said, smiling, the spark in his eyes shining at full brightness again.

"There will always be plenty of time for that, Football Head, now that we're finally together. Now quit being a sap and kiss me already!"

He chuckled.

Helga will ALWAYS be Helga.

And he would ALWAYS love her for that.

Arnold and Helga looked at each other, and they kissed.

It was only the start of the summer he thought he lost by the simple act of waking up, but it looked like it was off to a good beginning.

For everyone.

THE END / DAS ENDE / DIE EINDE / EINDE / EL FIN / O FIN / LE FIN / IL FINE / SFÂRŞIT / KONIEC / КОНЕЦ / BEIGAS / LOPPU / ΤΈΛΟΣ / סוף / TAMAT / LIAU LIAU / DANEH O' / 剧 终 / おわり / UXUL / TLAMILIZTLI

All characters and places are © Nickelodeon/Craig Bartlett. Used without permission, EXCEPT FOR:

The BBB employee, Dr. Jones, Dr. Esther Antoine, Dr. Kurt Antoine, the Helpers for Humanity receptionist, Michelle Sandoval, the hospital receptionist, Doctor Ingrid Dolores de la Cruz de García, Hortensia García de la Cruz, Jorge, the excited native, the chief, and his wife, who are © The J.A.M.

Starring:

Spencer Klein – Arnold

Jamil Walker Smith – Gerald

Francesca Marie Smith – Helga

Anndi McAfee – Phoebe

Dan Castellaneta – Phil

Tress MacNeille – Gertie

Dom Irrera – Ernie

Wally Wingert – Oskar and Mister Hyunh

Dan Butler – Mister Simmons

Mary Gross – Nurse Shelly

David Wohl – Principal Wartz

Kath Soucie – The Lunch Lady

Christopher Castile – Eugene

Sam Gifaldi – Sid

Toran Caudell – Wolfgang

Craig Bartlett – Brainy and Abner and Miles

John Moschitta – The BBB Employee

Maurice Lamarche – Big Bob

Mary Scheer – Suzie

Mister Smith – Himself

Bernadette Peters – The HfH Receptionist

Ruth Buzzi – Michelle Sandoval

Hugh Laurie – Doctor Jones

Julie Kavner – The Hospital Receptionist

Grant Hoover – Arnie

Susan Blu – Esther

Dan Gilvezan – Kurt

Rick Fitts – Martin Johanssen

Shari Belafonte – Mrs. Johanssen

George Takei – Kyo Heyerdahl

Jean Smart – Reba Heyerdahl

Ludwika Paleta – Ingrid

Loreto Peralta – Hortensia

Eugenio Derbez – Jorge

Israel Contreras – The Excited Native

Joaquín Rendón – The Chief

Dalia Hernández – The Chief's wife

Antoinette Stella – Stella

and

Carlos Alazraqui – Eduardo

Medical consultant – Doctor José Ramiro Acosta Pérez, Ph.D.

Special thanks:

Craig Bartlett

Michelle Lamoreaux

Joseph Purdy

Laura Sreebny

Justin Charlebois

Extra special thanks:

DeepVoice '06

Inudaughter Returns

Lord Malachite

José Ramiro Acosta Pérez

Thanks for being my beta readers, and for all the ideas.

Incredibly special thanks to the tenth power:

Lord Malachite, who, through thick and thin, did not give up and managed to edit this story.

¡Zacatepóngolas!

Until next time, remember:

I

AM

THE

J.A.M. (a.k.a. Numbuh i: "Just because I'm imaginary doesn't mean I don't exist")

Good evening.

[WARP!]