He never looks at me. If he does it's a set glare. He never touches me, and if he does he flinches back as if my skin had burned his finger tips. He rarely speaks and when he does it's in low grunts, that only convey things he has no other option but to communicate verbally. He is rarely around me, and if he is, he tries his absolute hardest to not to notice me. He is a stranger.

Yet, he is my husband.

It's no surprise, honestly, that he doesn't want to be with me. If I was him I would most likely not like me as well and to be frank I don't much like him either. How did it end up like this? I know, yet at the same time I really don't.

No freaking Idea.

I sat on our large white couch, with my body nuzzled in the corner of it, between the armrest and the plush cushion behind my back. My full attention on my new obsession in the form of a book that was cradled between my index finger and thumb. The book was another self-help novel that was also, another desperate attempt at trying to fix the hurricane of self destruction laying just beneath my calm surface. I pulled in a long strangled breath before releasing it in a heavy sigh. I drew my eyes away from the pages just long enough to look around my very lavished studio apartment that we lived in. My eyes roamed around the modern decor, taking in the large glass windows, along with white and black fire place that was controlled through the remote beside me. I scanned over the clean white carpet under me and the steel glass coffee table siting in front of me that my stress relief tea sat on still steaming in the elegant tea cup and coster.

I was surrounded by beautiful things. Every worldly desire I'd ever want was met and then some. I had nothing to complain about. I lived in a $10,000 dollar studio apartment over looking the extravagant down town area of Leaf City. Yet, here I am, reading a self-help book as a way to work through my soul crippling depression that plagued me. Ever. Day.

I shivered slightly seeing the rainy day out side, as I turned up the fireplace with my remote as the flame inside went to a dull roar to a ball of fire that swirled before me. I reached out and pulled the cup to my lips as I slowly sipped on the hot liquid letting it coat my throat in calming herbs. I picked my book back up and focused on the bold text that played over the eggshell pages.

"Happy is, what happy does. Do something kind for someone today, make some one smile without a selfish reason." I repeated to myself and checked the clock. It was a quarter past 3:00. My husband usually returns from work around 5 pm, I smiled to myself as a though crossed my mind.

I bolted up almost knocking over my tea, but caught it just in time before placing down my book and heading to the very open kitchen that was on a slight island across from the dining room. I turned on some soft jazz as I put on the apron that my mother-in-law bought me last Christmas. It resemble an old school apron from the 50's with white frills on the otherwise pink material. I loved it, because she had a matching one I had envied for years. I tied it tightly around my not so small waist as I grabbed the box of recipes that She had also given me along with the cute apron. It was a long rectangular box filled with all of her's and my families recipes. I let my fingers glide along the many taps that organized the box into sections.

I paused as I found the tap labeled "Sasuke's Favorites." I smiled down at it and looked through the very thin stack of cards before me. To no surprise most of them revolved around tomatoes and beef. Nothing sweet.

"Ah, I have enough time for this one." I thought out loud when I picked up the card that read 'Tomato and Beef Udon.' I stood up and set the cart in the claps of a card holder as I pulled out all the ingredients that the meal called for and got started cleaning the tomatoes and letting the beef thaw out on the counter in a large steel bowl. I hummed softly to myself as old school jazz played over the speakers that were all around the kitchen in different hidden places. I softly swayed my hips to the music as I cut the tomatoes in thin slices and got a small bowl out and started making the seasoning that the red fruit will be placed in once done cutting them.

Then I started the beef on a low simmer on the high-tech stove top that looked like a normal table before being turned on, then which it starts to glow in a bright red rectangular shape.

I was half away through cooking when I glanced at the time seeing the green glow of numbers reading: 4:15.

I wiped the sweat from my forehead before taking off my apron and hanging it up in the spot that it belonged and started cleaning up the kitchen before placing the food in the microwave to keep it warm as I went and grabbed a quick shower and applied some subtle make up, and lip gloss. Then putting on a simple sundress that didn't fit the weather, but despite that I wanted to look bright. Throwing my long light strawberry hair in simple waves around my shoulders, I checked myself in the mirror and gave myself a good once over. I smiled softly forcing any negative thoughts to the back of my mind where I locked them away tightly.

I glanced at the clock once more, before going back out to the kitchen and platting the food with a few sides that were cooking as I showered. I focused on the platting process as I cleaned away kind of smudging that occurred on the edges of the plate, as I drew little designs with the sauce over the plate and left a small decretive basle leaf on the top. I then carried the plates to the dinning table that was rather large for only two people, made out of black cherry oak, imported from Spain. Then I put down a bottle of red wine that I know he enjoys and put Pink Zinfandel down for me. I preferred a sweeter wine. I set the table with the best silver we owned, and bamboo place setters, that I had bought earlier this week. I poured us both a large glass of the wines and set the stunning steamed cups beside the silver forks.

I backed away and studied the table with slight pride. I once again glanced at the time, as it read: 5:30 pm. I let my face fall slightly wondering why he was so late. He was a very punctual man, It was most unusual. I just let it roll off my back as I placed my self at the table, leaving the head seat for him.

A part of me thought I was being at least a slight bit delusional, thinking that I could change his thoughts or actions towards me with just one fancy dinner I made. Instead of having his personal chief and nutritionist make it for him. He was a very aware person, so it wasn't that fair of a fetch to believe that he was very carful to whatever he put in his body. I looked down at the food I had prepared and prayed that he would enjoy it, or at least eat it.

Not to long after that thought around six, I heard muffled keys, jiggle at the door as I instantly stood up and straightened my dress out with my hands as I put on my best and fakest smile I could muster.

Sasuke walked into the door, quietly and before he noticed me, I took that moment to take in his appearance.

I was not naive to the fact that my husband was very handsome and clean looking man. He wore a handmade suit from Italy that was woven with silk and shoes on his feet, which he currently was removing, that were hand crafted all the way from England, as a gift from a business partner. Everything he wore was worth a small fortune in themselves. I knew this, because even if I wasn't allowed to touch the bank books, I was still able to see the receipts that were crumpled in the pockets of his pants when I did laundry. Also, the app on my phone told me if our joint account had any kind of charge on them. Okay, I was a little noisy.. I just wanted to know more about him… I am his wife, even if it didn't feel like it.

"Good Afternoon, Sasuke." I said in a soft voice, unsure if he would even respond.

He stood up as I instantly felt shrunken by his height, and let I tell you, I was by no means a small woman. I let my eyes lower, but not before I drew in his face and his expression.

His dark medium lengthen hair was slightly slicked back, and his cold and beautiful noir shaded eyes, scanned me as if I was a problematic glitch in his other wise perfect world. I had already memorized his marble features that seemed to be chiseled from stone, resembling a greek god.

"Afternoon." He grunted and shrugged off his coat as he hung it in the closet by our front entry, of the apartment. He then walked right past me as I was greeted with a mixture of cigarettes and a deep wood-y scent that was so unique to Sasuke. I breathed in slightly and tried to push away thoughts of moving closer to the scent. It was such a mesmerizing smell.

I shook it off before running to keep up with the long strides of his legs. "I made dinner for us if you wouldn't mind sitting down, and maybe eating with me. It was out of the box of receipts your mother gave me, under you're favorites." I said quickly as he headed to our bedroom.

He paused when I was finished and I had to catch myself to keep from running into his back.

"I already ate." He said in away that was left no room for further discussion, yet I tried anyway past my better judgement.

"Just a bite won't kill you, at least tell me if I did a decent job so I could maybe make it again when you haven't eaten yet." The words all tumbled out of my mouth as I chuckled awkwardly at the begin. He turned around and looked down at me without emotion, before walking over to the table as I followed him close, a small smile on my lips as I thought he might actually agree to my pleas.

He stood at the table and used the knife to stab a tomato, then a piece of beef with it, before looking me dead in my eyes and chewing with violent chomps, every clamp of teeth his could be heard as his jaw visibly clenched. He loudly dropping the knife on the dish making me jump as a deafening clanking noise in the other wise silent room bounced off the walls. Then he grabbed the glass of wine I poured for him and gulped the bigger glass down, with the mouthful.

I stared at him dumbfounded, as I already felt tears threatening to fall from my eyes, but I held them back refusing to look weak in his presents, forcing myself to be as emotionless as him.

"There. I took a bite." He snapped walking away again. I couldn't keep myself from asking, in a sarcastic tone, without moving or turning round.

"Was it to your liking?" I said with a passive-aggressive hint, lacing my words.

"At least you got the fucking wine right." He growled as if every word was suppose to pierce my very being.

I tried my hardest, with everything in me not to let the sobs crawl up my throat and spill out. Yet, they tore free against my will, as my words were pushed out with them.

"Why? Just why!" I billowed out, my voice bouncing off of every single surface in the pristine apartment.

I could hear the room go silent, and for a brief moment I honestly thought he would respond, but all hope was lost as I heard the foot steps began again and a very soft closing of a door could be heard.

All breath was ripped from my lungs as I fell to my knees and shook with tearless sobs that wrecked my body.

This is hell…

After about an 15 mins of just sitting on my knees, I stood feeling neither dead or alive, as my legs felt like jelly then instant pain from falling asleep under my weight.

I deadpanned at the beautiful meal I had made before walking mindlessly over to the table. I started to clear off the dishes, scooping the meal into containers and writing Sasuke's name on the plastic boxes and set them neatly into the fridge and cleaning the dishes in an almost zombie like state.

Once done I grabbed my self-help book and bottle of wine before going out to the porch. I closed the glass door behind me and dragged my eyes over the city, then reached my hand over to Sasuke's cigarette lighter. I took a big gulp of the wine savoring the very slight burn as it warmed my core, before setting my self-help book on fire. I accident burned my arm and screamed like bloody hell, out into the darkness before me. I instantly threw the book down the 20 story building, watching it as it dropped.

I limply walked inside cradling my arm against my chest, I ventured into our bed room seeing Sasuke in our huge circler bed, typing away on his computer against the head board, no doubt working. I stalked in slowly, making sure to keep my back to him. Not daring to show anymore weakness, as I quietly sneaked into our bathroom. I felt his eyes burn into my skin like flame, but I ignored it and very very quietly closed the bathroom. I looked up for a split second through the crack in the door, very briefly meeting his eyes, before I instantly closed the door and leaned against it. In that flash of a second I could have sworn I saw regret and worry in his eyes. I shook the thought from my head.

I was just seeing what I wanted too.. Perhaps, a coping mechanism to keep from throwing something bigger over the edge of the building other than that shitty self-help book that gave me false hope. False hope was the number one killer, It crushed your soul faster than any bullet or disease ever could.

I worked up the courage to look down at my burning arm, and cringed. The skin had already started to bubble under the surface of my pale delicate skin of my forearm, even though it hurt, I couldn't find it in myself to care all the much. I sighed and glared at myself in the wall length mirror.

My pale face was now painted with long deep black marks that smeared around my eyes with trails of past tears marring my cheeks. My eyes where red and puffy, and reflected the defeat I felt. My body was heaver than I like, or Sasuke liked, yet I look withered and tired. My dress was stained from the wine that was still clinched in my hand, pressed firmly to my chest. Much like how a mother would cling to her new born child.

I breathed as a few more tears made there way down my face as I took another long swig of the sweet burning liquid. I sniffle and rubbed my nose with the back of my hand before, taking off my dress letting it pool around my feet. I stepped out of it and set the wine down on the black marble counter top and started undoing my bra and slipped off my panties. I took another gulp, before looking at my naked form in the mirror once more. I curled my lip in disgust at the stretch marks and small childhood scars that both made my body uniquely mine and also made me feel bile build in the back of my throat.

I had an urge to throw the heavy wine bottle at the reflection, but didn't in fear of the repercussions of my actions. I sobbed miserly for the girl before me.

I let my shoulders fall as I walked into a huge walk in shower, that was solid glass except for the wall and floor that was a coffee brown color, with an over head shower head that followed the length of the shower itself.

I turned it on and drank more wine as I adjusted the tempter to suit me, which at the moment was scolding hot, hissing as the water hit my burn, increasing the pain ten fold. I used the waterproof ipad that was build into the shower wall to play blaire loud sad Billie Holiday as I usually did. While, Sasuke either enjoyed the same music, more ignored it silently bruiting. Honestly though, at this moment I was either to hurt or to drunk to really give a shit about either.

I silently mouthed along to Gloomy Sunday, as I drank more under the assaulting water. In tears, I remembered back to the first time I had ever laid eyes on the man that is now my husband.

Four years ago:

I sat rather uncomfortably in the living room of my soon to be in laws, as I scanned my eyes over the delicate paintings that lined the walls and the beautiful piano, that looked to be a baby grand in pure white that matched the rest of the sicking white washed walls. My fingers itched to go play it, but my nerves kept me glued to the hard chair I was placed in my mother as she spoke kind words to Mikoto. That was Sasuke's incredibly amazing mother, that was nothing like her second born son.

"Sakura! Are you even listening? This is very important!" My mother snapped at me from her spot on the couch next to the dark haired woman.

I nodded, my eyes fixated on my worn out sneakers under the dress my mother had forced me to wear. "Yes, Mother. I am to marry Sasuke Uchiha with in the month. He was suppose to be here, but he's late. Due to work at Mr. Uchiha's business." I whispered feeling my world break and crumble around the edges.

"Well, if you're listening, then place try and look a little interested!" She grumbled ad Mikoto giggled softly.

"Don't be so hard on her dear friend, She must be nervous this will be the first time she's meeting her soon to be husband!" She smiled warmly at me as I just nodded.

She and my mother had become fast friends after my father started doing business with the Uchiha's in exchange from me marring into the family. They need a woman to marry Sasuke to clear up the roamers about they're youngest song being a play boy and My father need to help his soon to be failing contrition business without the Uchiha's generous fundings. I at 20 knew I was just a tool to my family. I was just a thing to be bartered and bargained away for high profits. I was an object, yet a glimmer of hope in the back of my mind was for this Sasuke character to be a loving and caring husband.

As long as I got to play my Piano and sing I was happy with rarely seeing my parents, if not at all. I was nothing to them in reality.

I was about to get up to use the restroom when the door was opened with My father, and a very attractive man behind the two that looked to be a little older than myself. I paused looking at them in shock, before blushing.

My father smiled brightly at me and wrapped an arm around me. "My dear! You look lovely." He smiled and kiss the crown of my head as I looked up at the two other men.

gave me a once over, before smiling softly. "Hello there, Sakura. Good to have meet you." He said holding out a hand that I shook hesitantly, before he withdrew his hand and placed it on the shoulder of who I assumed was his son. "This is my son, Sasuke Uchiha."

I gave him a weak smile as he returned a beautiful toothy one before out stretching his hand as I shook his and bowed slightly. "Nice to meet you." I whispered and blushed brightly as our fathers smiled to one another.

"Let's give the love birds some privacy, shall we?" My father said as the other man nodded and walked into the living room to greet the women.

I glanced every so often up at Sasuke and blushed violently. I had never seen a man so beautiful and silently thanked god for bringing me someone so handsome to be my husband, then the second that thought bounced through my brain, the young man's smile fell into a deep scowl. He glared at me with hard eyes, that made me feel like he was looking at gun under his shoe.

"Don't fucking expect me to love you, I will never love a woman that would sell herself for something so simple as money." He growled out, before walking past me bumping my shoulder hard on the saw past me into the living room.

I stood there a scared 20 year old, on the brink of tears, soul crushing in every single way. I was about to be signed over to man that would never love me in a million year, doomed to a loveless life of nothing but pain.

Present time:

I shook away the memories that plagued my mind as I got out of the shower and hummed softly to 'my man don't love me,' also, by Billie Holiday. I frowned and grabbed my puffy gray robe, pulling it around me tightly before towel drying my hair and braiding it back, to create soft waves in the morning as I finished off the last of the wine and put it into the trash.

I then bandaged up my arms and walked out of the bathroom and saw Sasuke was already fast asleep in the bed. I frowned softly and walked over to my side of the bed and pulled open a glass drawer and pulled out my red silk night shirt and shorts, with black lace acting as trimming. I then walked to the bathroom and picked up the clothing on the floor and put it in the dirty clothes. I sighed softly, and walked back to the bed feeling someones eyes on me in the darkness. I ignored it and crawled under the covers as far away from the heat on the other side of the mattress.

"Would you care if I jumped off the balcony tonight?" I whispered quietly.

I waited for an answer that I knew would never come, as more tears ran down my cheeks.

"I thought so.." I whispered about 5 minutes later, before shifting in the bed to stand, when suddenly I felt arms wrapped around my waist, and in my drunken state, I gasped before he pulled into his chest and held me there.

"Your fucking drunk" He grunted annoyed, before pulling the covers over me. "Stay."

-Katt=^.^=

Hey guys!

I really want to write something like this for a while and sorry about my other stories that I've fallen behind on, but I seem to have lost interest in them. I was then pressuring myself to write which in turn gave me writers block, thats when it came to my attention that I was no longer writing because I wanted to, but because I had too. So, now I'm doing what I want and writing this story instead.

Thank you.