Author Note: Hello everyone. So, a bit of a warning, I've been seriously depressed for a while now. It's noticeable in my writing following darker tones, instead of silly. I'm trying to work on it, but it's a constant battle. I apologize if it's slowing down my writing, but there are certain stories that shouldn't be written when I'm in this mood. None the less, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Notes: This chapter was written on 6/11/2020.

When the text is written like this, it means you are not reading a scene that is showcased on the television.

When the text is written like this, however, it means you are reading a scene that showcased on the television.

Please enjoy the chapter everyone.

Disclosure: I do not own Naruto or Naruto Shippuden. I do own my original characters, though.

Death Watching
Chapter Eight

Fragile Life

The sound of dripping water reverberated off the walls of the small bathroom. The paint on the walls had long ago begun to peel away, and the little light hanging from the ceiling flickered with an annoying buzzing sound. There is a rusty white toilet, a sink with a rectangular mirror hanging in front of it, and a cramped stand-up shower with only a flimsy curtain keeping water from leaking out.

A small five-year-old golden-blond-haired boy stood on a wooden stepstool in front of the mirror. His usual bright sapphire-blue eyes stared ahead dully, bloodshot from the constant stream of tears. A single tear escaped his misty eyes, traveling down his whiskered cheek before splashing harmlessly again the sink.

A thick black smoke erupted from behind the child, engulfing his form. It twisted in a storm of shadows and weaved itself together to form his most recent memory.

Kami whistled in appreciation. "This is quite cinematic," she said, getting a nod from her fellow blond.

"Yeah, but where did the smoke come from?" Naruto asked, tilting his head to the side.

The small goddess watched the smoke take form while thinking about her partner's question. "I believe it represents you zoning out while being lost in thought," she guessed.

A forest near the orphanage took shape, the bright moon only slightly covered by clouds. Naruto stood frozen, his eyes staring wide-eyed in front of him. His best friend, Yumi, laid lifelessly against a tree. Much like himself, she was an orphan, growing up in the harsh, unforgiving world. They bonded over, receiving somewhat similar scorn from the populace. The villagers did not like her eyes, much like he assumed they didn't like his birthmarks.

Naruto clenched his hands together as he watched the scene play out. He felt a hand rubbing his back, and he glanced over to his newest friend. She smiled at him before turning back to the screen.

Yumi had dreams of leaving the village to explore the world and, one day, open up a small bakery. She pestered him constantly about going with her and living a simple civilian life. His resolve crumbled eventually. They both weren't liked, so why stay? They would have each other, and that was what mattered in the end. Though life is cruel and cold.

"Would you have been willing to live a simple civilian life like this version of you?" Kami asked curiously.

Naruto pondered the question for a few moments. "At that age, I would have been okay with it as long as I had someone who cared about me. Knowing what I know now, though? I don't think I could have ever lived like that," he answered honestly. The Akatsuki would have never left him alone, the village wouldn't have let him go, and the war would have caused too many problems.

Her long seafoam green hair is dirty, matted with mud, along with her clothing. Her beautiful red-slit eyes are half-open, staring blankly ahead, glazed over. Naruto couldn't fathom how eyes that always danced with excitement and amusement could be so devoid of life. A small trickle of red ran from the corner of her mouth, reflecting light and dripping off her chin. His hands clenched tightly, his nails digging into his palms. His eyes misted with tears as a gentle hand rested on his shoulder.

He looked up with tear-filled eyes, and they rested of a man he had met a few times. A kind elderly man who didn't treat him like a monster, but as another person. He often regaled him of tales of being a shinobi and told him how he could be a great one. "We'll find whoever did this, Naruto, I promise," the third Hokage said reassuringly as he guided him away from the scene of the crime.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Kami said as she watched young Naruto shakily leave with the Hokage.

"Thanks," he said with a sad smile. "Do you know if Yumi exists in my world?" he asked, hoping that maybe she survived and got to fulfill her dream. He may not have ever known her, but he already cared.

The goddess eyes glazed over for a moment, before smiling. "Yumi does exist in your world. She's currently maintaining a small bakery, and is quite successful," she replied, her eyes twinkling happily. She snapped her fingers, and a plate of fresh sugar cookies appeared before them. "These were made by her, and yes, I paid for them," she stated before he could even question it.

Naruto put his finger down since his question was answered before he could even ask. He grabbed one of the warm, soft cookies and took a bite. His eyes widened in surprise. "These are really good!" he mumbled through giant bites of cookie.

Kami chuckled heartily, enjoying her own cookie before turning back to the screen. During these more depressing moments, it's best to try and keep a more light atmosphere. A sad Naruto never felt right.

The world around collapsed into a twisted mass of darkness, the sound of glass cracking echoing outward. The dark gave way to reveal a twelve-year-old Naruto looking into his reflection. After that incident, and constant encouragement from his newest grandfather-figure, he joined the shinobi academy. He hoped to become strong enough to protect the people precious to him. One day, when he retired from this life, he would open a small bakery. Yumi never left his heart.

He pushed himself into his studies and trained himself into exhaustion. With his constant effort into his training, he managed to stay close to the top spot in the class. His tests weren't always perfect, and he made mistakes, lost some matches, but it just drove him to try harder. However, one jutsu eluded him throughout his schooling. The simple clone technique required precise and little chakra to work, but his argument always fell on deaf ears. He failed to graduate after all of his work, and it seemed another one of his dreams would be crushed. Then, like an angel hearing his plea, one of his teachers sought him out for a secret exam. It sounded suspicious, and he wished he would have listened to that little voice in the back of his head.

"It appears you're destined to fall for Mizuki's trap," Kami said, amusement lacing her words.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I was desperate to graduate, you know? I failed three times, and I wasn't exactly jumping in my seat to try a fourth time," he said in defense.

Kami simply hummed in response.

The thick fog engulfed the blond and gave form to another memory. Naruto stood in front of Mizuki, the teacher who promised him a particular exam to pass, breathing heavily. It had been a lie. Such a blatant lie that he should have seen through. What sort of test has you sneak into one of the most secure facilities and steal a village secret? The cost had been too high, as he gazed at the lifeless form of Mizuki. The man's eyes were frozen in pain, his hands limply wrapped around the large gash across his neck.

The young blond's hand shook as he slowly raised his hands to eye-level. A thick coating of blood covered his fingers, drops of red dripping onto the fresh grass floor. A wave of nausea overcame him, and he relieved himself of his dinner. After a few moments of puking up his insides, he wiped away the bile from his mouth.

His head shifted to the side, and he tried to blink away the newly forming tears. Another body laid facedown with a large wound on his back. Iruka, one of the few people who cared about him, arrived just in time to save his life, but at the cost of his own. Something snapped in him, and a red-hot rage filled his veins. Everything became a blur as his body moved on its own. When the traitor laid dead by his own hand, he finally snapped out of his trance.

Naruto's eyes and mouth widened in shock. This version of him had lost Iruka. He couldn't imagine a world without the man who had cheered him up whenever he felt down. To add salt to an already open wound, he killed someone in a blind fit of rage.

Naruto slowly walked over to his favorite teacher, a man who he saw as an older brother, and cradled his cooling body in his arms. Fresh tears leaked from his eyes as memories of his best friend flashed through his mind. "Why? Why do I keep losing the people I care about most?" he whispered through tears, rocking back and forth.

Kami wiped a stray tear from her eye at the emotional scene unfolding before her eyes. See her fellow blond rocking back and forth, desperately holding onto someone he considered precious is depressing. Seeing such a broken version of Naruto was heartbreaking. She wrapped the blond in a side hug, trying to comfort to stock-still blond.

The sound of crying became more distant before ending with the sound of glass cracking as the memory faded away, revealing a slightly older Naruto. It didn't take long after for the ANBU to come and collect him. The Hokage explained his burden and why he kept it hidden from him, tried to comfort him about his recent loss, and finally allowed him to graduate with the rest of his class. Though his graduation felt hollow, and he would have traded it for Iruka's life any day.

Naruto would have done the same thing.

He closed himself off after that death, not wanting to feel that pain again. He became quiet, and his fellow classmates noted his shift in personality. Some tried to pick on him, but he didn't allow their words to both him. Soon enough, a replacement informed them of their team placements. He was placed on a team with two people he disliked but didn't put up any argument.

Hours passed before his team leader arrived. The man with gravity-defying silver hair ordered us to the roof and forced us to introduce ourselves. Kakashi, their teacher, came across as aloof, not giving any valuable information. Sasuke, one of his teammates, spoke coldly and distantly. Sakura, his other teammate, spoke energetically and brimmed with giggles and blushes.

His introduction would have been filled with cheer and a declaration of his dreams. Instead, it was a simple, soft, and bare of any critical details. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki. I like gardening, baking, and ramen. I dislike…" he trailed off softly, before shaking his head and continuing, "My dream is to become strong."

"I wonder if I would have liked baking?" Naruto thought out loud.

Kami smiled while munching on one of the sugar cookies. "I think you would have enjoyed it as a hobby," she answered in between bites. "It seems that this version of you doesn't desire to become Hokage, only become strong," she pointed out.

"How can a guy who can't save one friend become Hokage?" Naruto said softly, looking down at the table in consideration. "No, he just wants to become strong enough to protect what is his," he stated before looking at Kami with a small smile. "Plus, he wants to open up a bakery, ya know?" he commented before looking back at the screen.

You would have made a wonderful Hokage, Kami thought.

He tried to stay distant, to not form any bonds with his teammates. It worked for a while, but with every mission and training session, they grew closer. It was on their first C-rank mission that their bond solidified, and he considered them precious. They fought for their lives and liberated a country for a tyrant. With friendship, his smile slowly came back, and he started to open up once more.

However, like all good things in his short life, things would soon go wrong. Kakashi nominated them for the chūnin exams. Three unknown tests that would test them on their abilities to see if they were worthy of being promoted. It would be dangerous, death is a common occurrence, they were warned of that. They believed themselves ready, but they had been fools.

"I think I know where this is going," Naruto muttered, getting a soft hum of agreement from the goddess beside him.

The first test went by quickly and without much difficulty. Though, much to Naruto's chagrin, he didn't appreciate the surprise pop quiz. He idly thanked the heavens that he was allowed to cheat.

It was during the second stage of the exam that everything began going south for Team Seven. A deadly shinobi targeted their group, actively searching for his teammate. They fought to the best of their abilities, but in the end, they laid broken with one of them being marked with a cursed seal. It was through sheer luck that they managed to survive and make it out of the forest.

Naruto raised an eyebrow in surprise. He hadn't expected things to turn out just like his own. "Huh, I expected them to fail, or possibly be killed," he commented in surprise.

Kami nodded her head.

They were once again surprised with preliminary rounds to help cut down the numbers. Sasuke and himself managed to pass while Sakura lost in a tie match against her rival. The competitors were given a month to train before the third phase of the exams. He took the time to refine his skills and learn some new tricks for an edge.

Things seemed to be going well during the tournament, managing to defeat his first opponent. However, it was during Sasuke's fight that everything finally broke down. An invasion filled with death and despair rained down upon Konoha. Civilians and Shinobi struck down, blood spilled on both sides, bodies littering the streets.

Yet, the death of the villagers had been the last thing on his mind. No, the only thing that mattered to him was the safety of his friends. Kakashi ordered him to chase down Sasuke alongside Sakura and help him against the unstable jinchūriki.

Naruto clenched his hands, and his emotionless eyes stared back into his own as another memory took form around him.

"I have a bad feeling about this…" Naruto said nervously, starting to see a pattern.

Blood coated the grassy floor as his blue eyes stared wide in anguish. He didn't seem to notice the blood splatter on his face, with his focus only being on the dead bodies of his teammates.

Naruto shut his eyes and let out a shaky breath. He felt Kami run her hand through his hair while pulling him into a close hug. He didn't like this world.

Sasuke's lower half had been crushed, looking mangled beyond repair, but at least you could still make out his body. Sakura had not been spared that fate. She had been wrapped in a cocoon of sand and obliterated into a fine red mist.

Kami watched her fellow blond shudder.

"No… No! No, not again! This can't happen to me again!" he cried out in a mixture of emotions until one overcame every other. His sapphire-blue eyes flashed to a deep crimson red, his features sharpening as hatred poured out of him. Red chakra exploded out of him and wrapped around him, as a multitude of tails began forming. Malice filled the air as a horrible pressure pressed down on the shoulders of anyone nearby. All of his hatred focused on one being.

"Come, Uzumaki! Come prove my existence!" the unstable jinchūriki laughed crazily, his sand swirling around him like a sandstorm.

The memory dissolved away, and the mirror in front of him cracked straight down the middle. Two blank eyes stared into his reflection, one a dull sapphire-blue, the other a dark blood-red. He felt his sharpened nails dig into his flesh, blood dripping onto the bathroom floor.

He lost control and had no recollection of the fight between him and the crazed jinchūriki. When he came to, he was bound up in a multitude of bandages in the hospital. He had been found in a crater, with most of his skin burned off. While recovering, he had been left with his thoughts.

Naruto grimaced at the description. That meant his other went into a berserk, using at least four tails. Though, that brought up the question of who stopped him from completely losing it. It was doubtful he calmed down on his own, not with Kurama feeding his hatred.

Yumi, Iruka, Sasuke, and Sakura. How many more would he lose? He wasn't strong enough to protect Yumi, and she paid for his weakness. He fell for an obvious trap, and Iruka paid for his stupidity. He was unable to defend his teammates, and their futures were gone because of him. Guilt consumed him. When would he stop failing?

Of course, life hit him when he was already down. His grandfather in all but blood, the Third Hokage, passed away in battle defending the village. He attended the funeral and watched silently. He was thankful that the rain allowed his tears to go unseen. It was a quiet, somber affair, but soon the repairs began, and life started to move on.

With two of his teammates dead, Kakashi told him to take some time to himself. He didn't argue and just sat in his small apartment alone in the dark. A few days passed, and no one visited, but he didn't mind. Then, everything finally fell apart on a chilly night when he noticed a large file on his dining room table. He scanned his place, checked every corner, and double-checked his locks. He was wary, but his curiosity got the better of him.

"I wonder what the file is," Naruto commented, looking at the file.

Kami sighed, "Probably nothing good at this point," she replied.

Darkness swallowed him whole as his latest memory formed around him. Disbelieving eyes read over the information, reading certain parts over and over. The file is filled with information on him, a lot of it he didn't even know. A lot of it upset him, and he wanted to lash out, but it all crumbled away over a single mission scroll. An assassination mission ordered and signed by the Third Hokage.

Due to conflict of interest with Naruto Uzumaki, Yumi, an orphan of Konoha, is sentenced to death. The target's body should not be maimed, nor should the target experience any prolonged suffering. The target must be discovered by Naruto Uzumaki, and no one else. The area must be secured from prying eyes. Failure to abide by these orders will result in termination. This S-rank mission is ordered and signed by, Hiruzen Sarutobi, Danzo Shimura, Homura Mitokado, Koharu Utatane.

Naruto stared at the mission outline in distress. Kami was only slightly surprised by the outcome, having experienced more than a few vile versions of that man. Not every Hiruzen did what was best for Naruto, but what was best for the village.

"I-I can't believe the old man would do something like that…" Naruto whispered.

The memory faded away, and the mirror shattered. Naruto slowly untied his headband and gazed at the metal, the leaf insignia etched into it. He raised a single claw and scratch a deep line into it before tossing it into the sink, turning away and walking out. The sound of his apartment door opening and shutting echoed through his nearly empty apartment. All personal effects removed and sealed away.

The scene faded away before turning off completely. The small goddess let Naruto sit in silence for a few moments while he processed the new information. She simply rubbed his back in a comforting manner.

"Why would he do that?" Naruto asked, staring at the blank screen.

"There are numerous reasons for why he did what he did. I believe it was even hinted at in the beginning and confirmed by the wording of the mission," Kami said, her fellow blond turning to meet her eyes. "You were the villages jinchūriki, who planned to run off with Yumi and run a bakery. She talked you out of becoming a shinobi, and that wouldn't be good for the village. It showed that the Hokage actively encouraged you to become a shinobi. She was, as the mission stated, a conflict of interest," she responded with a small frown.

Naruto sat silently for a moment and debated asking a question he didn't want to know the answer to. "Did… would Jiji have done the same thing to me?" he asked quietly, hoping that this version of his grandfather-figure was just an exception.

"He would have done what's best for the village," she answered with a bitter smile.

"Oh…" he trailed off sadly.

"He loved you like a grandson, never doubt that," she said, resting a hand on his shoulder before bring him into a warm hug.

Author Note: A depressed Naruto isn't a Naruto I like to see.

Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you come back for more.