I attended Sam's "seminars" on what this world was like. Everyone else from the other world knew my secret, now. Witch from this world, stuck unable to remember anything about it. Most people were sympathetic, some were impressed at what I'd done with magic. There were a few who were angry and distrustful, but I wasn't even mad. I understood their anger. I understood why they wouldn't want to trust me.

They sat the farthest from me as I sat in on Sam's explanations. Castiel sat beside me for each of them, offering me a notebook and pencil on day one so I could take notes if I wanted.

I pretended not to notice my name already written on the inside of the notebook, in my handwriting. It was weird to think about.

As the weeks went by Sam and Dean got people set up with identities and information and housing and jobs in a town nearby. It wasn't like everyone could stay here, after all. "A bunch of people, hanging out in an underground bunker," Bobby had laughed at the thought. "I'm pretty certain we'd be the craziest cult to ever get documented."

I didn't understand what that meant until Castiel explained it, and after that it made sense.

Castiel stayed with me a lot as I received a plethora of new information. My name. My family before them. My family with them. My history. People here who knew me. Rowena filled me in on information about magic about a week ago, right before she and Charlie went on their own expedition.

Rowena told me about Crowley.

"He was a bastard." She started off. "Literally. A bastard son. My bastard son. And I was a poor mother to him."

She explained that he was her son, centuries ago. He'd sold his soul for extra length down below, according to him, and became a demon. Then became the demon in charge of all demon deals. Then became the King of Hell after Lucifer.

He'd taken me in when God's sister was a threat – Castiel filled me in on the highlights of this event later – and had trained me under a new name and a new identity so I could be hidden and safe.

"I remember him coming when I called." I said, pulling in bits of the memory I'd had. "There was a big house, I was worried about people being safe, and when I knew they were I called Crowley. He came and picked me up, and took me somewhere safe."

"Aye." She agreed. "I remember that."

"You were there?"

"Kind of." She explained the witch coven, two brothers and a sister. She hadn't known why I was there, but learned much later it was for a Men of Letters assignment. Ketch had probably sent me. I remembered the words Men of Letters. Ketch and Mary had mentioned them briefly, and hadn't wanted to delve into the thing. Rowena didn't seem to want to, either.

She explained that I'd been injured in the ordeal. Sam and Dean and her had arrived to deal with the witches, and Dean had had his own memories erased. He didn't remember any of it now, and had all his memories back. That thought gave me hope. Dean or Sam could understand my situation more, and there was a… a book, a grimoire, that dealt specifically with mind magic. Maybe I could be fixed.

I kept those thoughts to myself as Rowena continued. "He brought you and I back to a wooden cabin in a forest. You were out cold for a few days, and I was doing what spells I could to heal you fully." She laughed a little. "Funny, I'd thought you were dead myself until that point. I was certain Lucifer had killed you."

"Why did you think that?"

"You'd altered my memories, as well." She explained. "You helped us with Amara and disappeared, changing our memories to still think Lucifer had killed you a few months before."

"Why would I do that?" I asked. I was horrified with that notion.

"You never quite actually explained it to me." She said. "I don't really hold anything against you on it, not anymore. Sometimes a woman needs to get away from the people and from life, and if changing what we remembered was the best way for you to do it, then so be it."

"But… I did that to Sam? And Dean?" She nodded.

"And Castiel?"

"Yes." I watched her scour my face, her own expression confused for only a moment longer. "Oh. Sweetheart, they forgave you for that a long time ago."

All I could think, though, was how it felt right now to remember nothing. I hadn't wiped them completely of their memories, but knowing that I'd purposefully altered them and erased myself from it, that I could do that… It felt terrible. It felt wrong.

Charlie came up as I sat in silence next to Rowena. "Ready to roll?" She had a backpack slung across her shoulders and a second duffle bag at her feet. Rowena smiled at the fellow red-head, standing up to join her.

"Just let me get my bags." Rowena patted me lightly on the shoulder. "Feel free to call me if you need anything. We'll talk more about magic when I return."

Charlie gave me a hug then. We talked a little bit about her excitement for the trip. She wanted to go back to her hometown, and see how it looked now. She wanted to go to her mom's grave and see that, too. She just wanted to see what was here, and not what was blasted to ash.

She offered to let me come with them, to explore and see what's out there.

I stayed, of course.

Ketch made a similar offer before he left too, not too long after Charlie and Rowena had. He was going to go and work. Hunt bad monsters, save good people, keep worse people out of here for good. He asked if I wanted to come.

I still couldn't bring myself to leave. Gabriel's words were ringing at each thought. His reminder that he could take me if I needed a day, and just give me a day away from it all. That Castiel would find a way to stay with me if I left, no matter what.

Leaving with Ketch or Rowena and Charlie wasn't taking a day, it would be me running away again. I couldn't do that. It would hurt too many people that cared.

So I stayed.

And Castiel stayed with me.

He offered me space when I spoke to others, and stayed by my side during Sam's informational sessions. It was… odd. He was constantly around. I would catch him staring at me in a happy disbelief at random intervals. The second I woke up in the morning and went for breakfast he was there, looking grateful and relieved to see me.

I think he was afraid I'd disappear at any minute.

The constant attentions made me want to sometimes, solely because I didn't know what else to do about it. I couldn't ask Castiel to leave or stop, because I knew he would be hurt by the words. I talked to Bobby about it, when I had a moment. His response was simple.

"He loves you." Bobby said. "And he's had to live in a world where you were dead, or in danger, or where the thought of you being taken or disappearing in an instant was a very real threat. I don't agree with him hanging around you constantly, but that's how he's figuring out that you're back, but different." He shrugged. "Your response to figuring things out is space, his is being here to remind himself that you're real. Just talk with him about it."

And I didn't. I couldn't. Not yet.

Until Sam got the call around the end of the last info-session. Everyone was getting ready to go to their respective homes in town. I was getting ready to retreat to my room and go over all these new notes with an ever-growing pile of "flash cards" that Jack had given me.

Sam said a few words, smiling, before he hung up and turned to me and Castiel. "Come on." He said to the two of us.

"Where are we going?" Castiel asked.

"Hunting." Sam looked relaxed with the words. "Werewolves. I just need to grab my pistol." He pointed at me and Sam. "You two should come along."

"Me?"

"Her?"

Castiel and I answered almost simultaneously, with me casting him a look at his response of 'her?' at Sam. He raised his hands quickly to respond. "I didn't mean it negatively." He said quickly. "I just… Your safety, you haven't been hunting here that you remember, much less been our of the Bunker since you've been back."

"Are you saying I can't do it?" I asked, my voice raising a slight challenge to him. For a moment I didn't quite care that I had responded similarly. I didn't care if I didn't quite feel ready myself. I didn't like being challenged, or the idea that I couldn't do it.

"No!" Castiel responded, somehow even quicker than before. "I just want you to be safe."

"I was fine against kamikaze angels." I said. "I think I can handle myself against whatever it is we're going after with Dean and Jack, I think?" I looked over at Sam for confirmation. He was doing his best to hold back a snicker, nodding that I was right. "See? Perfectly safe. I'll be fine."

"Of course!" Castiel agreed. "Of course. And I'm sorry that I gave off the wrong impression that you couldn't. I just want you to feel comfortable in going out and doing things and wanted to make sure that this wasn't too pushy of a step."

"It's fine. I'm fine." I said. I looked between the two, taking a breath. "I'll grab my blades."

Going out and exploring the world, difficult. Monumentally difficult.

But going out and exploring in a familiar situation, like hunting… I wasn't certain.

I didn't understand the world, but I understood killing bad things.

And there were different bad things in this world. I should get used to hunting them.

That thought actually made me feel a bit better. A bit more ready to go out and see the new world.

So I grabbed my blades and met back up with Sam and Cas. Sam had a pistol ready with some spare ammo, and Cas had his own angelic blade. Sam drove us in Castiel's truck to wherever we were meeting Dean. I sat in the back quietly, looking out on the world around me.

The colors were what got me the most; what made me ask myself what had taken me so long to come outside.

Everything in apocalypse world was shrouded in grey and ash and the faintest constant smell of sweat and blood. Every unknown sound was a looming threat. Every moment in daylight a moment where you're easier to see, and every moment in darkness a moment where it's harder for you to find a way home.

But these colors were beautiful.

The truck smelled like orange cleaning fluid and the outside smelled like trees and grass.

The roads smelled a bit like angry smoke ("exhaust" is the word Sam told me), and we travelled down one that moved at such high speeds it almost startled me for a moment ("highway" was what Castiel said. They both agreed that I'd want to be used to high speeds and highways if I ride in the car with Dean).

There were other cars besides "truck" and "schoolbus" travelling alongside us. Different shapes and colors. Sam pointed at one and asked if it was Castiel's "pimp-mobile." I didn't get the joke, but Sam was laughing and Castiel looked embarrassed so I was certain it was funny.

Eventually, we reached a lake. There was a wooden structure beside it, a boathouse. The ground around us was wet and muddy (and something I wanted to have more time to experience, but at the same time I knew I needed to focus). There were boats – "think like cars, but they move on water and are shaped totally different" – along the lake, but not many.

"Alright!" Dean crowed. "The gang is all here.

"How many are inside?" Sam asked, motioning to the boathouse.

"I can hear three." Castiel said, then paused. "Wait, maybe - maybe four." He furrowed his brow a little. "They're talking about whether Kylie Jenner would make a good mother. The consensus is no."

"Yeah, well," Dean pulled out his pistol, and double checked the bullets in the magazine. "That's why I'm a Khloe man." I remembered these names. They were a part of Sam's information he gave us. "Alright, we're talking werewolves, which means..." His voice trailed off as he looked to Jack. I felt like he was quizzing the boy.

"Silver bullets." Jack answered proudly. He was rewarded with a smile from Dean.

"That's right." He looked back over to me, and I saw a quick flash of remembrance dawn on him. "Angel blades work too. You can't let a werewolf bite you, or else you turn into one of them, and the cure for it isn't necessarily a guarantee." I nodded, storing the information away. "They look like normal people, but they can change. Their eyes will go all yellow or green-like, and their nails will extend out into claws."

"Like a better-quality Thriller intro." Jack added, earning a laugh from Dean and Sam. They stopped when they realized I didn't get what they were talking about.

"Anyways," Sam continued quickly. "Yellow eyes, sharp claws, will try to bite you, and they look pretty human."

"Why don't you and I hang back?" Castiel offered. "You can watch what Sam, Dean, and Jack do, and you will know better for next time."

"You said angel blades kill them?" I asked, ignoring Castiel. Dean nodded. "Then I should be fine."

"I think Cas is right." Dean said softly. "You don't remember how to hunt here yet. That's OK. It's a learning process, for anyone coming in that doesn't know how to hunt things."

"I hunted angels."

"These aren't angels." Jack reminded me. "Kylie," he placed a hand on my shoulder. "Please? It's not that you can't. We just want to keep you safe." He offered me a kinder smile. "Look, I know that you and me could take these werewolves with no issue, and probably teach these guys a thing or two on how to hunt at this point." This got a series of disgruntled noises from the other three. "But we're back in their world now, our world. We haven't been here for a while. It probably isn't the worst idea to take some time and learn the rules here, like we both had to do back in Apocalypse world."

I hated to admit it, but Jack made sense.

"OK." I agreed. I could see Castiel physically relax off to the side from me. "I'll hang back with Cas."

"Thank you." Jack offered me a quick hug before turning back to Dean. The older hunter let out a quick and gruff cough.

"OK, so, you all know the play. Let's do it."

I watched with Castiel as they all walk towards the boat house. They made their way in quietly, and after a few moments Castiel and I followed to watch. Sam, Dean and Jack had burst through the door like a trained team, with Jack holding the werewolves at bay with his powers while Sam and Dean rained a hail of bullets upon them. The werewolves didn't have a chance in any sort of universe.

It was over in maybe two minutes.

Castiel entered the building next, with me following behind. "Great." Dean said, smiling proudly at all of us. "Jack, excellent job at keeping them back. I'm really proud of you, kiddo." I frowned as Dean spoke, counting the werewolves. One. Two. Three.

"Um, guys?" I started to speak. They all turned at my concerned voice. "Didn't Castiel say that there were four werewolves?"

At the mention of a fourth, we all paused at the growling sound behind me. I whirled quicker than Dean or Sam could pull their guns up, my angel blade flying out of my hand. It hit the werewolf dead in the heart, sending him falling backwards in an instant. I looked from the newly dead werewolf to my hand, not exactly certain on how to respond.

Jack did, though. "Go Kylie." He complimented, patting me on the shoulder.

"Thanks." I muttered. I looked on the werewolf for a few more seconds before I retrieved my blade from the body. I wiped the blood off on my jeans, and placed it back in my hip sheath. I turned back to the gentlemen, unsure of exactly what else to say. "I'm gonna go back to the truck." I decided. Nobody really responded, so I went ahead on what I said I'd do.

I approached the truck. I wasn't quite certain what I was feeling.

I'd just killed a werewolf. Go me.

It was just like killing an angel, only without the flash of light and the wings behind it. The thing didn't quite look human, its claws were out and its eyes were an unsettling orange. But the mechanics, the reaction…

That felt familiar.

I wasn't certain how I felt about that.

Out of curiosity, I thought about what else I might be able to do that was familiar here. Magic was supposed to be familiar to me. Couldn't I do that here, too?

I thought about the Bunker, the exterior of it coming to mind with a surprising amount of ease. I could picture the trees around it just as clearly as I'd pictured the inside before.

I heard Castiel say my name like a question just as Jack shouted my name with concern.

And then all I heard was trees and flies and cars thundering by off in the distance. When I opened my eyes again, I was in front of the door to the Bunker.

I looked around, making sure that what I was seeing was correct. The trees looked the same, bringing up memories in the back of my mind I couldn't quite grasp at. Just familiar background, if that makes sense. I felt another memory of a different woodsy area. One I'd teleported to frequently. I couldn't grasp at it fully either, but I knew that in time I probably could.

I opened the door to the Bunker hesitantly. We always left it unlocked, but most doors had traps.

How did I know most doors had traps?

I'd researched it, somewhere else, with someone else.

The door opened without a question to me. As it did, I felt something vibrating in my pocket. Your cell phone. Jack had delighted in telling me how one worked as he showed me what was apparently my own.

The person calling was Castiel. A photo of cartoonish angel wings appeared with his name.

I slid the green symbol over to the side and held the phone up to my ear.

"Kylie?" He asked. I nodded before I realized he couldn't see that.

"Yeah."

"You disappeared." He said quickly. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Why did you disappear? Where did you go?"

"I went back to the Bunker, and…" I shrugged. "I don't know. I just kind of did it. I didn't mean to."

"It's alright." I heard Jack say from behind me. I dropped the phone in surprise, turning to look at him. He was just standing behind me, hands in his pockets. I could hear Castiel's voice vaguely from the phone on the ground. Jack motioned to it with a raised eyebrow, reminding me that I would need to pick it back up.

"What happened? Is Jack with you?"

"Yeah, Jack's with me." I promised. "He just startled me for a moment." I heard Castiel take a breath, pausing for a moment.

"You're safe?" He asked.

"Yes."

"Can I talk to him for a moment?" Jack asked me.

"Jack wants to talk to you."

"Give him the phone." Castiel almost said the words like an order. I followed the words like one too, handing the Nephilim the device almost robotically.

Jack walked off a small distance with it, motioning for me to stay where I was. I could hear little bits of conversation from Jack's end. "… Fine. Castiel, …, need to relax. You're … smother…" There was a long pause. Castiel was probably talking. Jack glanced at me once and offered me a small smile. "Don't worry. I've got her." I could hear that quite clearly. "I'll tell her." He said after a small-ish pause. He started walking back towards me, then, smiling as he handed me back the phone. I took it hesitantly from him.

"Kylie?" Cas' voice.

"I'm here." I could hear a bit of relief in his voice after that.

"I'm glad you're safe." I could hear him thinking. "I… Ah… I'm going to ride back with Sam and Dean."

"OK."

"If we stop to get take-out food, do you or Jack want anything?"

"Take-out food is the stuff from the restaurant that you bring somewhere other than the restaurant, right?" I watched Jack fail to suppress laughter at that question.

"Right."

"Where are they getting take-out?" Jack asked.

"Jack wants to know where you are getting the take-out." I repeated.

"The Chinese place." I repeated the information from Castiel to Jack.

"I want Kung Pao with Chow Mein." Jack requested.

"Jack wants King Pow with Chow Main." I repeated the words slowly, sounding them out to make sure I said them correctly. Jack still laughed a little.

"Got it. Do you want anything?"

"Um…" I heard Castiel sigh a little.

"Right. Noodles or rice?" He asked. That was easier.

"Rice."

"Spicy or not spicy?"

"Lightly spicy."

"Got it. We'll be back soon."

"Thank you."

"Hey, I…" Castiel took a moment to find the words. "I'm sorry. For… hovering. Crowding you. And for trying to hold you back earlier."

"It's OK." I found myself saying automatically. I didn't want to be a burden, but I knew that I was. "I know this isn't easy for you."

Castiel and I stayed on the phone for a few seconds, and I knew at least I was feeling awkward. I didn't know what else to say, though, much less what else to do.

"I'll see you when we get back." He finally said.

"I'm excited to try the Chinese take-out." I felt dumb saying the words, but I could almost feel Cas perk up a little at the phrase.

"I'm certain you'll like it." He promised. He didn't say anything about how I may or may not have used to like it in the past. I appreciated it.

He hung up, and I took a minute to stare at the phone before putting it away. Jack offered me a smile, motioning his head towards the forest. "Come on." He started walking towards the middle of the woods. I followed, uncertain of what was happening.

"Where are we going?"

"Walk and talk." He said simply, the smile still prevalent in his voice. Not a bad talk, then. "Come on."