Finding Peace pt.2
By: The Firefaery
***
The wedding rolled around and Noin and I, along with the three other bride's maids we weren't familiar with, suffered through the ceremony in our ghastly pink confection-like dresses. It was a beautiful ceremony, and Wu Fei looked so handsome in his white Chinese kimono. It took all I had not to picture Duo and I up there. These dreams were making me crazy! I didn't even know if I loved him, and here I was barely keeping myself from imagining our wedding! I needed to get back into the swing of work, try not to think about Duo. 'Two years-'
At the reception, we were allowed to change, and I got out this slinky white number I'd been saving for a special occasion. I curled my chin length hair with a curler provided by the hotel we were holding it at and applied a little make up. I had to admit I looked pretty good. Noin commented on it as well.
"It's a good thing Zechs is married to me, or I'd be worried he'd go after you," she joked, standing back and admiring the figure I made. I looked like a calmer version of the Tenshi no Shin I was known as. 'This might be fun.'
We walked out together, and Zechs came to collect his wife. I tried not to feel jealous of all the couples around me. It wasn't their faults Duo was gone. I wanted to have fun tonight at least, try to forget that he was probably dead. I stepped up to the bar and received a few appreciative looks from the single men gathered at the reception.
"Frozen margarita, please," I ordered, not caring if he asked for id. He obviously assumed I was of age, or the laws here for liquor were different from the ones I remembered in England, because a few minutes later the drink was set before me. I sipped it slowly, feeling the burn of the alcohol as it slid down my throat, and surveyed the room. The first dance between the bride and groom had happened while we were changing, not that I cared I'd missed it. The music was some jazz type stuff that I wasn't sure had been approved by either Wu Fei or Sally, but had people dancing anyway. I decided then and there that I was going to get completely smashed tonight, and forget that anybody was missing from this room. Three margarita's and a shot later, a tall man with dark unruly hair and deep blue eyes approached me.
"Which party you with?" he asked while I slowly blinked at him. He seemed familiar, but I couldn't quite remember how. It was the alcohol fuzzing my brain up.
"Umm- bride, but I know the groom," I managed, hoping I didn't sound as zonked as I thought I did. He nodded, and I noticed his shirt was unbuttoned slightly, showing a nice hairless chest with tan skin underneath his dress shirt. His jacket and tie were hanging over one arm, and I realized how hot it was in the room. The only thing keeping me cool was the small dress I wore.
"Yeah, Chang and I go way back," he stated, and something in me rang a warning bell. I shrugged it off, determined to enjoy the night.
"I've known Sally a couple years," I slurred out, taking a sip of my fourth margarita. Basically, our whole conversation was like that. With each minute that went by, he got closer and closer to me, until his body pressed up against mine. His hands were around my waist and I closed my eyes, trying to picture Duo in his place. He was whispering something in my ear.
"I've got a room upstairs," he suggested, licking my ear seductively. I quivered a little, the sensation new to me.
"I'm not sure-" I managed to protest before he began working his way down my throat, the little nips and sucks he gave me making it hard to swallow. His right hand slid up to the swell of my breast, and he traced it slowly. I couldn't see his expression because my eyes were closed, but the way my body reacted seemed to be telling me to go for it. He pinched my hardened nipple gently through the fabric of my dress, making me gasp softly. I didn't know what to do.
"Come on- Let's go up to my room," he urged, pressing me against the wall next to the last stool on the bar. I'd kind of been hiding in the corner getting drunk when he came up. His wandering right hand slid down and rubbed fiercely against my crotch, a whimper escaping my lips. It just felt too good. I didn't know how to say no when my body screamed 'Oh Kami yes!' Two years-
"What's your name?" I managed, looking up at him finally. He grinned widely, displaying even white teeth.
"Chiba Mamoru," he supplied, and I got a cold bucket of water in the face. I glared at him, feeling dirty for letting this male whore paw me.
"Oh really. I don't think you're here with Wu Fei or Sally, Chiba. I know for a fact you were fired from the Preventors a year and a half ago! I think you should leave now," I finished lowly, looking around for assistance bigger than me.
"Who are you to tell me what to do, bitch?" he sneered, grabbing one of my breasts roughly and squeezing. I gave gasp of indignation and kneed him in the crotch, right where it counts. He crumpled to the floor, clutching his jewels in agony.
"I'm the Tenshi no Shin, that's who," I murmured, walking away onto the crowded dance floor. After a moment I bumped into Quatre, who took one look at me and led me outside. I leaned my forehead against the cool glass of the outside window, letting the heat slide off of me. Quatre waited for me to catch my breath.
"What happened, Serena?" he asked softly, putting a gentle hand on my shoulder. I did something I almost never do, and let go of my emotions. He pulled his hand back in shock, sea-green eyes wide.
"Two years, Quatre!" I yelled quietly, not wanting to draw attention to myself. I didn't cry, but oh Kami I wanted to. "He's dead, isn't he?" I whispered, throwing myself into his arms and burying my face in the crook of his neck. He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around me and comfort me, and I still don't remember passing out at his feet.
I woke up the next day with a raging headache in a strange bed, and immediately feared the worst. Twenty and drunk in a stranger's bed, with clothes not my own on. I looked again and realized I really was wearing clothes, my own underwear and a long white t-shirt. It was better than waking up naked, I guess. I had no idea where I was, or what I'd done most of last night. My brain went fuzzy around the second margarita. The door opening across the room caught my attention, and I turned to look. There stood Quatre, shirtless with drawstring pajama pants on.
"Great. Just great! Did we sleep together least night, Quatre?" I demanded, not knowing how else to phrase it. To my amusement he turned a bright cherry red and began to stutter.
"N-no, oh no! I w-w-would never take advantage of y-you like th-that! I brought you h-here because I don't know where your apartment is," he managed, still red in the face. I sighed, then winced.
"That's good to hear. No offense or anything, of course. I'm sure you're very good in bed," I added, just to be mean. His fading blush returned full force and I snickered, then winced again.
"You must have an awful hangover. I'll grab some aspirin from the cabinet next door, okay?" the poor guy said, managing not to stutter but only just. He turned to go and I couldn't resist one last call.
"Nice pj's! You've got a cute ass!" I heard a yelp as he ran into something, stoking my laughter again. My head hurt like a bitch, and I was in a surly bad morning mood to be picking on my savior like that. I lay back down with an arm over my eyes, waiting for him to return with the meds. After a minute, the door creaked again and I opened one eye to see him with a glass of water and a bottle of pills.
"Here, take two of these," he said, sitting on the edge of the bed and handing me the glass of water after I sat up. He popped open the lid and dropped two pills into my hand. I took a gulp of water and sucked them down, then prayed for instantaneous relief.
"Arigatou, Quatre, for helping me out," I murmured, laying back down on the bed. I heard him shift as if to get up and leave, and reached out to stop him, grabbing his hand. "Please, stay with me. I don't want to be alone right now," I whispered, pulling him back down. After a moment of hesitation, he lay down next to me and pulled me to his bare chest, wrapping an arm around me. The scene so reminded me of the park dream I'd had that I couldn't hold back my tears any longer, and began to cry.
He rocked me there for hours while I sobbed into his chest, the tears a river I'd had dammed for years. I don't recall, or want to, all of it, but I can remember him murmuring into my ear that it would be all right, that everything would be fine. Quatre was the pillar of strength I needed so badly just then. By the time I ran dry, I couldn't see out of my eyes and my nose was running like a faucet. I was hoarse and tired and heart sore, but Quatre helped me into the shower and out of my dirty clothes, and I never felt self-conscious being naked in front of him. It was just a hard feeling to explain. I trusted him with me more than I trusted myself.
The water ran over me, and I let it wash away the pain. It was hot and stinging against my bare skin, but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything. I was so tired of missing him. Duo Maxwell was dead, and I had to move on. I grabbed a bar of soap off the rack and started scrubbing, rinsing the suds off along with my hope of ever seeing him again. I don't remember the water running cold, but the feeling of Quatre turning off the water and wrapping a towel around my chilled body was a comfort I would never forget.
He dressed me in clean clothes that he'd gotten from who knows where, and lay me back in bed, exhausted and sleepy. He slept next to me the rest of the day and night, and I had no dreams at all. Since then, Quatre has been my onii-chan, my loving big brother. I trust him like I trust no one else, even myself or my family. His words to me that long awful day are always clear.
"It's all right, Serena. I'll always be here for you, you can cry with me," the gentle, soft-spoken man whispered into my ear, a light breath of wind tickling my wet hair. "Don't ever be afraid to come to me when you need anything, ever," he added, and I knew in my heart it was true.
Things were quiet for many months, and I rolled around to twenty one. In June, Sally made the announcement that she and Wu Fei were expecting, and Noin admitted that she and Zechs were too. It was strange and almost uncomfortable to be around the two usually calm, efficient women as they compared baby clothes and formulas. They were due in February and March of the coming year, respectively. I could only watch apprehensively as together their stomachs slowly thickened and the two expectant fathers grew more and more annoying. The warm feeling of happiness disappeared, though, when Noin miscarried at the beginning of August.
"Have you heard, Serena?" Michiru asked me quietly one morning, before I went to the shooting range to warm up. I had a mission coming up, and I needed to brush up on some skills. I quirked an eyebrow at her, shaking my head no.
"Heard what?"
"Noin lost the baby," she admitted sadly, her eyes expressive and filled with sympathy for the grieving couple and the horrified Sally. I felt a little jolt of shock, uncertain as to how I was meant to react. It was a tragedy, yes, but I wasn't really as close to the rest of the field agents as I was to Quatre, and perhaps little Hotaru, though she wasn't an agent.
"That's very sad news," I finally decided to say, turning with my magnum and firing at the target down range. Michiru must have taken the hint, because when I finished the clip and turned around, she was gone. I hit the switch to bring the target sheet forward, and absently noticed that all shots had hit kill zones.
Most active agents were out in the field, somewhere off in the colonies or a hostile country on Earth. Even the reluctant Wu Fei was off in the Sanq Kingdom on short term body guard duty for Vice Foreign Minister Darlian, once Relena Peacecraft and Zechs' younger sister. I'd heard a rumor that she might be coming to HQ sometime soon, but I wasn't sure if the data was correct.
I itched to get out of the stifling atmosphere of HQ. Since the wedding, the dual expectant announcements, and Noin's tragedy, I'd basically shut down and pulled away from the group. It was too much involvement, I didn't feel as though I could risk getting that close to people again by sympathizing and comforting. I was afraid something else would happen. The field agents weren't exactly social friends, most of the time, but we did talk when we were home. I didn't do that anymore, and I think people were beginning to notice. Heero arrived back at base just before I left, a little battered but otherwise the same Perfect Soldier I'd known for two and a half years, and for some reason beyond me, decided he needed to give me a talk.
"Tenshi, I know I'm not the best person to bring this up," he began out of the blue two days before I was set to go. We were out on the range, the only place we ever really met up. "You can't shut yourself off." I turned to look at him, gun pointed down at the ground with the safety on.
"You're right. You're not the best person to be bringing this up, Wing," I told him emotionlessly, not blinking once as I met his dark eyes. I knew then, that he was the future I had to look forward to. I had maybe seen him smile three or four times in the years I'd known him, and he rarely spoke in complete sentences. Today must have been the exception to that, at least.
"Shit happens. It happens to everyone, Tenshi. I'm one of the more fucked up ones. Lots of shit has by chance or design happened to me. I don't need to tell you that I handled it by going cold." His eyes were locked with mine, an identical gun clutched in his hand. It was like looking in a mirror, almost, except the reflection was my reverse, everything on him dark where mine was light.
"Fuck you, Wing."
"I'll always be a little distant from everyone around me," he continued, ignoring my comment. "Whether I want to be or not." The eyes I was caught in glazed for a moment, a memory surfacing. I doubted it was pretty. He blinked and refocused on me. "It's not too late for you. Don't throw your feelings away just because a few times you got hurt. You don't want to be me."
"I don't think you want to be you, either, Heero," I whispered, anger crackling along my skin. It was the only emotion that I couldn't lose, the only thing I ran on now. And at the moment you did not want to piss me off.
I left for the field, buckled down in a rinky-dink shuttle that I definitely didn't trust to get me out of the atmosphere, let alone to L-13 Colony, where there was slight infighting going on. We needed some inside data, and it was my assignment to infiltrate and get as close to the top of one side as I could. Their plans for after the civil war could very well involve attacking the Earth. Damned if I was going to let that happen.
My cover was as a tech-student, just out of Uni. I had a mild background in martial arts, and a close interest with chemicals and making things go boom. My name; Sena Maldare, easy to remember and something I would answer to automatically. This was my first deep cover mission, and I reviewed the files while in flight to the colony that was known for it's research in chemical warfare and laser guided explosives. They were said to be harboring a runaway genius, wanted for getting a little too excited about a weapons experiment and blowing up a city block on L-24 Colony. Last name only, a Mizuno somebody, one more person of questionable character to add to the whole population. L-13 was a little on the shady side, that was for sure.
The two main factions doing the fighting right now were pretty much a couple territory gangs pumped up on steroids in the form of some industrial backers with money who were looking for a place to test weapons freely and using the tension as an excuse. One claims to have a reason for helping the Rogues, the other a reason for cutting a weapons deal with the Hombres. The colony had a lot of Latino influence as well. The Rogues were a large minority of Americans, mainly migrants for the Texas Republic after the war that returned it to the U.S. Union.
They'd carried over their general dislike of the Hispanics that crossed the Rio Grande River and took jobs in Texas illegally to the new colony, and were vying for power against the large Hombre gang. It was getting pretty violent, with the big backers who wanted them to kill each other off supplying more and more weapons. A side note on the bottom of the file was that Field Agent Shinigami, a.k.a. Duo Maxwell, had tried infiltrating the Rogues two years ago and disappeared. My heart nearly stopped when I read this.
"These are the people that killed Duo," I whispered into the quiet whir of recycled air as the shuttle flew through space. "I need to get into their posse, so to speak, and find out what happened." The words were dark and choked with my anger, and a small part of me knew that people would die by my hand before this mission was completed. Duo would not go out un-avenged.
*The sheets were smooth against my bare skin as I lay down in his arms. Hands traced the curves of my body, heating my blood and warming my heart. I turned to look into his beautiful eyes, and he leaned down and kissed me.
"Aishiteru, Tenshi," he whispered after breaking the kiss. I smiled lovingly at him, reaching up to unbind his hair. It fell in a dark wave around us, his scent filling my mind. My hands slid up his bare chest, tracing his face, to finally bury my fingers in all that hair.
"Aishiteru, Duo," I answered hoarsely as he suddenly thrust into me, burying himself inside of me as my fingers had in his mane. My legs wrapped around his waist as we continued this dance, this song for just the two of us. Our breathing filled the room, my body taut against his. Sweat beaded on my lip, but I couldn't let go to brush it away.
"Oh god-" he groaned harshly, his pace quickening as my cries grew louder. Suddenly, the world lit up around us and I called out his name, his own cries following soon after. Still buried inside me, his face pressed against my neck, he whispers once again, "Aishiteru, aishiteru." Falling asleep in his arms, I'd never felt so safe in my life.*
The bumping of the shuttle lock jolted me from a light doze hours later as I slid into a bay door of L-13. I'd arrived, and I was ready for some action. My weapons were carefully concealed, on my person and in my small amount of luggage. Whatever I was short on, I could buy here or go without. It wasn't unusual for a migrant to come in bearing weapons, not in this colony, so I knew the required immigration search wouldn't be very thorough. If the person packing got pissed off, no telling what happened or who came to support them, so people tended to let most everything slide by. An attendant greeted me at my hatch and helped me out, reaching in to unload my bags.
"How're you today, young ma'am?" he asked politely, his smile friendly and open. I could hear the twang in his voice right away, and I smiled right back, knowing I had to get in good with these people.
"Fine, though it sure was a long trip," I answered brightly as he handed me my two bags. He nodded sympathetically, checking a digital chart that he unclipped from his side.
"I can understand that, comin' straight from Ol' Earth," he supplied, perusing my flight plan for a moment. I waited patiently for him to finish, sinking into the part of young and eager, bright and cheerful.
"Oh, don't I know it. If I ever go home again, I'll sure stop off somewhere in the middle for a while!" I joked, grinning. He chuckled, making a few notations before he re-clipped the board and turned to me.
"Sure thing, hun. Them long range straight through flights are hard on people, 'specially gentle young women like yourself." He winked at me, and I accordingly blushed, in actuality wanting to deck him for flirting with someone twenty years younger than him. I knew I looked younger than the twenty-three my ID claimed anyway, and he was still doing it. "I know a good place you can rest up, if'n you don't have no where's else to head," he suggested, and I thanked Kami for the break this could give me. It was sure to be in a Rogue neighborhood, and populated by people associated with them, too. I'd be right in the thick of it.
"Oh, that would be just great, sir!" I cried enthusiastically, mentally rolling my eyes. The part I was playing was the type of girl I would plug my ears around or smack. He grandly printed out a sheet of directions for me and handed them over, grinning.
"You shouldn't have no trouble at all finding it, and when you get there you tell 'em Johnny H. sent ya, ya hear?" He winked again and waved me on, never once searching my bags or my person. I nodded thankfully and shouldered my bags, heading through the bustling space port to the outside world of the colony and the crowded streets of a suburb called Becitos. There wouldn't be any kissing going on between the gangs running around in this metropolis, though.
I slipped through the crowds, dressed in some faded jeans, brown boots, and a sleeveless black stretch top with a small v-neck collar. My hair was long, a special weave for this mission, and a darker blonde than usual. It was currently back in a French braid, tight to keep it out of my face. I studied his directions for a moment than headed towards the Texas District, as it was marked on the map. There were some vehicles on the road, but it was mostly foot traffic. I began to notice the crowd itself as I walked, at first an even mix of all nationalities, though with a slight majority in favor of Latinos. As I got closer to my destination, though, it leaned more heavily to broad-shouldered caucasian men and average to slightly shorter women with long hair and modest clothing.
Up ahead, two men, one white, the other darker-skinned, were yelling insults and waving fists at each other. The white man suddenly nailed the dark man in the mouth, and all hell broke loose. People were running for cover, more men from both sides were pouring out of the woodwork, and guns and knives were flashing everywhere. Ducking into an alley, I figured it was a good time to get out of there. As shots rang out over the otherwise quiet neighborhood, I high-tailed it to the building Johnny H. and his directions pointed me to.
Stepping into the Amarillo Bar was like walking into an Old West movie, almost. Cowboy hats and boots, guns around every waist, and the twang in people's voices so thick you could cook with it. I tried to look as lost as I could, and sure enough, the bartender behind the counter motioned for me to come over.
"You look a little lost, hun," the big man said, his hair slicked back, with a stark white apron spanning his large frame. "Can I help you?"
"Well, I think I'm in the right place," I began hesitantly, looking around. "Johnny H. at the dock said to come here, following these directions, but I ran into some trouble back there," I added, motioning back towards the gun fight. At Johnny H.'s name, the guy perked up and became even friendlier, smiling broadly.
"Aw, now, young thing like you all the way out on L-13 by yourself? That just ain't right. Here, sit down and have a coke on the house, and I've got someone to talk to you in a sec." He motioned to an empty barstool and slid a soda can in front of me before going to talk to another man down at the end of the bar. The whole room was loud, smoky, noisy and crowded, with plenty of good ol' drunk cowboys.
"What's your name, kid?" a voice asked, interrupting my thoughts. I turned to meet the gaze of none other than tall, dark, and handsome. Knowing he was expecting it, I let my jaw drop a little before pretending to catch myself.
"Uh - I'm Sena, Sena Maldare," I answered, completing the picture by blushing cutely. He grinned cockily, winking at me.
"Mitch there said you just got into town, you got a place to stay yet?" he asked, appearing friendly. I could see the lust in his eyes though as he looked at me. I pretended ignorance as I shook my head.
"No, I haven't had time to look anywhere yet," I said, forlorn and lost. The creep nodded sympathetically, just worried about the newcomer. Yeah, right.
"That's too bad," he said nonchalantly, "But as it turns out, I own an apartment building near here. I could give you a real good deal on a place, if you're interested. I like helping out damsels in distress," he added winningly, a cocky, shit-eating grin on his face again. I faked a gasp of delight, then stifled it.
"Oh no, I couldn't possibly - I wouldn't want to impose," I whispered shyly, looking away. "Besides, I don't even know your name, sir." I mentally rolled my eyes at all the crap I was putting out, but it sounded so damn good!
"Think nothing of it, honey. And my name is Nat Turner, just think of me as your knight in shining armor." I giggled as he winked at me. "Do you wanna check the place out now?" I nodded and he reached down and lifted up my bags, nodding to Mitch the bartender as we exited.
"Thank you so much, Mr. Turner," I said again later as he turned to leave my new digs, a modest but immaculate apartment in a small building a few blocks from the Amarillo. We'd settled on a very good price, for the size and location of the apartment. He may or may not be for real, but at least I had a place to stay for a while.
"Hey, you're welcome. And since you're new around here, how about I come down around dinner time and show you a great place to eat? I have a lot of friends who'd love to meet you," he suggested, and I finally smelled the rat. This guy was a pimp, and he was setting me up to meet with his clients. I barely kept myself from lunging for his throat, but I figured I could go along with it for a while. All I needed was information; I wasn't here for the long haul. Just enough to show how big a threat these people were, then HQ would call in the shock troops and we'd clear the whole colony out.
"Oh that'd be great, Mr. Turner! I don't know anyone here, and I'd feel really lost going out on my own," I gushed. "You've been so kind to me, I don't know how I could ever repay you," I murmured, looking at him with star-struck eyes. Turner grinned again and patted me on the shoulder.
"I'm just glad I could help. Wear something nice, I'm taking you to a club that's pretty high-end. I'm sure you brought a pretty dress in that bag," he called over his shoulder, heading Kami-knew-where. I sure as hell didn't care. The creep made my skin crawl. I headed towards the small bathroom to shower and change, and strap on a few choice pieces of my arsenal.
Sure enough, at about a quarter to six, a knock on my door announced Turner's arrival. I opened it with a broad smile on my face, faking an excitement I didn't feel. A lovely bouquet of flowers tickled my nose and I squealed in girlish delight, taking them from his hand and going to find a vase to put them in. After that we left, to be met downstairs by a chauffeur and a limousine, a dream come true for any young girl. At least, I'm sure that's what Turner assumed. All these things were carefully calculated to bring the girl into his debt, while dazzling her with fancy cars, clothes, food and flowers.
The club we arrived at was completely in line with everything else that day, and I did my best to gawk. The dress I wore was a modest black evening gown, one of the best dresses I owned, and the only one I'd brought on this assignment. Turner himself was wearing a tux, and so was every guy in the Gent that night. We were immediately led to a table full of other well dressed men and their dates, all of the women probably escorts provided by Turner. He introduced me around the table, and thus the bidding began.
We went there every night, and over the course of three or four weeks, I saw more faces from the ranks of the Rogues then I could have ever hoped to going through my normal channels. I'd hit a piece of luck, and I was going to hang on to it for as long as possible. So far I hadn't been required to sleep with anybody, but I knew eventually it would come to that, and that's when I'd have to split back to Earth or go underground here on L-13. Then a miracle happened, and I found him. Turner had me back at the Gent, and we were walking around introducing me to more prospective clients.
"Ah, Miss Maldare, I'd like you to meet a very good friend of mine, Kent Jericho. Jericho, this is Sena Maldare, a new acquaintance of mine." I didn't look up right away, but the oil in Turner's voice let me know that this guy was probably one of the top Rogue officers. I turned to look at this new player, and met violet eyes out of my dreams. Duo Maxwell stood in front of me, the only difference about him being his beautiful braid was cut. His hair barely reached past his ears. He gave no sign of recognition though, and I realized it had been over three years since I last saw him. I had been nineteen the first time I met him, now I was a woman of almost twenty-three, with hair past my shoulders and a new grace to my body from all the training and drills I'd been put through since he left.
"Ah, Turner, great to see you again," Duo cried enthusiastically, pounding the pimp on the back like they were old friends. "And lovely to meet you, too, Miss Maldare," he added gallantly, kissing the back of my hand. I blushed and murmured a thank you, and tried to convince myself it was all part of the act. A small, navy-haired woman came up behind 'Kent' and placed a gloved hand on his arm, catching his attention.
"Kent, won't you introduce me?" she asked softly, looking at us shyly. Turner gave her a leering once-over, but otherwise behaved himself. I felt jealousy boiling up, but I knew I couldn't say anything for fear of blowing my cover. This was all such a shock, Duo alive and relatively well.
"Of course, Ami," he placated, smiling at her. "This is my younger sister, Amelia Jericho," Kent explained, pulling the woman forward. "Amelia, this is Nat Turner and his friend, Sena Maldare," he added, introducing us all.
"A pleasure," I murmured, shaking hands lightly with her. Turner returned Kent's earlier gesture and kissed her hand softly, smiling at her.
"What a lovely sister you have, Jericho," Turner complimented over her hand, still smiling. Amelia blushed prettily, and I nearly growled. There had been no sister in Duo's deep cover assignment, and I knew something was up. I had to find someone to get him alone, but the whole evening was a waste. All the small talk, the dropping of names, the blushes and the sighs and the female fluttering, I thought I was going to be sick. Finally, we called it a night and headed to our respective places of residence.
Later that night, sometime around one, there came a knock at my door. Not sure what it could be at this hour, I opened it very carefully. Turner stood there in a casual business suit, looking very smug with himself. Dread filled me, and I knew he must have finally found the first buyer for me.
"Mr. Turner, what can I do for you at this late hour?" I asked innocently, ushering him in. He turned to look at me, all semblance of the concerned knight in shining armor gone.
"Sena, dear, I've been a very generous man this past month or so, haven't I?" At my nod, he continued. "I've never asked for anything in return, and I've given you many pretty things and a nice place to sleep as well, yes?"
"Of course, Mr. Turner, and you have no idea how thankful I am," I said softly, a confused look on my face. At this he gave an evil grin.
"Ah, but perhaps now is the time to start paying me back, Sena dear. You see, I'm a man who gives people what they want. In your case, it was a place to stay and some pretty trinkets and flowers. I also deal in rare objects, or sometimes- carnal desires?" Here he stood next to me and ran a finger down my bare arm. I shivered in disgust. "Now, all I'm asking you to do is give a little back after all I've given to you," he hissed, his hand reaching up to grip my face. "Is that too much to ask?" I shook my head, pretending a fear that was really anger. "Good. Now I have a lovely gentleman lined up to spend time with you tonight, and all I ask is that you behave like the good little girl I know you are and put this on. I'll wait out here and then we'll go." He handed me a light package, lingerie I supposed, and shooed me towards my room.
Half an hour later we pulled up in front of large penthouse building, over forty floors high. Turner got out and opened my door on the other side, escorting me up to the thirty-fifth floor and knocking on the door. After a few last minute, dire warnings and instructions, he left me there to meet my fate. The revolver strapped to my left leg was definitely going to be my friend tonight. I could hear the locks and chains being undone behind the door, and then it swung open.
"Oh Kami," a voice whispered, and I realized with a shock of surprise that it was Duo. He reached out and pulled me inside, locking the door behind us. Suddenly, I was in his arms and he was holding me, his shoulders shaking with his sobs. I did the only thing I could, and wrapped my arms around him, leading us to the couch and managing to sit us both down. I noticed distantly that I was crying, too, and didn't bother to stop it. I hadn't cried since that night with Quatre, but I figured now was a good time to do it again. After we cried ourselves out, he pulled away from me and looked in my eyes. "I didn't want to hope it was really you," he said, touching the side of my face as he had all those years ago.
"I knew it was you from the first moment," I countered, bringing my own hand up to his face. "I waited, Duo, for so long-"
"I know, but it's almost over, now that you're here." He went on to explain that after the botched transmission and his injuries, he'd been pulled even deeper into the Rogues, where he'd met the scared persona of Ami Mizuno, a.k.a. Amelia Jericho. "I would have made a break for it with what information I'd already gotten, except I didn't think I could make it with an extra person. And I couldn't leave Ami to these vultures, they'd chew her up and spit her out, after getting all her explosive genius onto computer disc." He shrugged, leaning back against the sofa in thought.
"I can understand, but was there no way at all for you to get word back to HQ?" I asked softly, my words demanding. He shook his head, not looking at me.
"I was almost caught the last time, and I nearly died. What would Ami do without me? I couldn't risk getting caught." Sighing, he reached over to pull me against his shoulder, but I stopped him.
"So, it's Ami, is it? Of course it is," I managed, almost choking. Surprise written on his face, he stared at me. "I waited so long, and after that transmission I thought you were dead for sure. It's been almost three years, but I knew I'd never find anyone else. I came here with vengeance on my mind, I was determined to get the information I needed and kill a few choice people in the process. And then I found you were alive! Do you know what a shock that was for me?" I was crying again, and I turned away so he couldn't see me do it. Of course he would find someone here. She was right in front of him, someone who needed his help. What did I know, anyway? I was just a kid the last time he saw me, no something to set your hopes on for four years.
"Oh, Serena," I heard him say. A hand slid under my chin and I let him turn me towards him, ready for him to tell me how stupid I was for loving him this long, for dreaming of something that would never be. I looked up, into those eyes that had haunted me for so long, and barely held back more tears. I really did love him. How stupid. "Don't you know, Ami is just like a sister to me. The poor kid, she had no idea what she'd gotten mixed up in when I first got wind of her. I got her out of all that, and set her up as my kid sister up from Earth. Nobody would touch her that way. All we were waiting for was a chance to get out of here." He paused and traced my bottom lip with his thumb, a gesture that made my heart thud in my ears. "There wasn't a day gone by that I didn't think of you, not one," he whispered. "I even dreamt of you, of a future that could never happen," he added, shocking me. I pulled back in surprise.
"But I dreamt of you too!" I cried, my hands gripping his arm. "I dreamt of many things, like children, and a home, our wedding- making love," I choked out, reaching up to touch his cropped hair. His eyes were wide with shock, and I realized we dreamt the same things, the same settings. "I love you."
"I love you too, Serena," he whispered, then suddenly he was crushing me to him, his lips against mine in a kiss I'd dreamed of forever. His hands were on my body, in my hair, his teeth and tongue torturing my mouth. The heels Turner had made me wear were off across the room somewhere and he was lifting me up like I was a feather and taking me off to what I assumed was his bedroom. His arms were around me, fingers searching for the zipper of the red little number I wore, while my own hands tore at the buttons of his shirt and the fly of his slacks.
Somehow we made it to the bed, somehow his mouth found my breasts, somehow he found his way inside me. The first moments were painful, his expression startled as he realized I was a virgin, but soon my cries were joyful as we moved together as one. I'd never felt anything like it, never been so close to one person in my life, and I never wanted anyone else except him. He slid in and out of me, my fingers clenched inside his hair, as my body tensed. Finally I came with a long deep moan, heat rushing over me, filling me to the brim. He joined me in a moment, a warmth spreading inside me from him. We lay together in the tangle of his sheets, sweat streaking our bodies, the smell of sex hovering in the room, and I smiled contentedly.
"Aishiteru, Duo." I nuzzled his neck, his smell filling my nose. He pulled a blanket up to cover us and I fell asleep quietly, easily, for the first time since he left.
Needless to say, now that he had the support he needed, the two of us plus Ami cleared that place out quick. Plenty of gunfire, people going down, I tried not to flinch when a .45 round landed in my shoulder. Duo didn't notice, and eventually we made it to a ship that he'd gotten the codes for. The three of us piled in, me on the edge of consciousness, and we were off, back to Earth. Kami-sama, but it felt good to be going home, was my last thought before I hit the deck.
All that was two months ago, though. I'd woken up alone in the medical wing of HQ, drugged and confused with my shoulder killing me, and no Duo in sight. Sally Po came in glowing, her stomach round with Wu Fei's baby and a chart in one hand. She explained that Duo was getting debriefed along with Ami Mizuno, and that as soon as I felt up to it, it would be my turn. I nodded shakily, and a few days later stood with a stoic face as Lady Une, Zechs, Setsuna, and Relena Darlian of all people fired question after question at me. I still hadn't seen Duo. It was like the whole thing was a dream. After I got out of there, it all hit me like a ton of bricks and I couldn't deal. With no word from him and too many confusing things going on in my head, I asked for a leave of absence and got it, indefinitely.
Now here I am, back in England, pregnant. No need to explain who the father is. I turned twenty-three last week, with only Ako to celebrate with. I've never felt so alone in my life. I first suspected I was pregnant when I missed my first period after that night on L-13, but I didn't really want to believe. I finally talked myself into taking a test, and low and behold, I was carrying Duo's baby. I went to an obstetrician right away, not about to screw up something so important, and got it confirmed. Now I'm on pre-natal vitamins and a special diet and exercise program. I haven't talked to HQ since I left on vacation, and there seems no use in trying to get a hold of Duo Maxwell, the stupid jerk. I'm pretty resigned to dealing with this on my own. I got a hair cut, back in the old style when I first joined the Preventors, and my own apartment an hour away from my mom's. I don't need anyone.
"No, no one at all," I whisper to my empty flat, one hand on my stomach and the other on my broken heart.
About a week later, I'm painting the nursery just for the hell of it when the buzzer of my flat door rings. I set down the brush and walk back through the apartment to answer it. It buzzes again as I'm walking there.
"I'm coming!" I yell, annoyed. Close to fuming, I swing open the door to be met by a face full of wild flowers. "Oh," I cry, even before looking to see who it is.
"Serena?" an all too familiar voice asks tentatively, and I turn to meet those damn violet eyes. I can't seem to escape him.
"Hai?" I sigh, letting him inside. He follows slowly, like a lost puppy. I watch him look around, and I find myself hoping he likes it. I head to the kitchen for a vase as he shuffles his feet in nervousness, I guess.
"I've been trying to get a hold of you for months, now, since we got back," he starts, confusion in his voice. I feel a twinge of guilt. "I was getting worried about you, but then Quatre mentioned you had family in England, so I flew here. Your mom gave me this address." Finishing, he comes into the kitchen with me and rests a hand on my shoulder. "Are you all right?" I turn to look at him.
"Iie, I'm scared. We got back, and it all seemed so crazy, so unreal, what happened. I couldn't seem to deal with it, and I couldn't find you, so I came back to the only place where most people wouldn't look for me." I laugh slightly. "Most people, except you." He smiles that grin of his, and leans down to kiss the tip of my nose.
"I'm just glad you're not mad at me. I came here to ask you something, and it would've really sucked if you were mad at me," he admits, putting an arm around me and pulling me in for a kiss. I melt, wondering how I could have felt so confused when I felt so safe in his arms. What his question is, I can't imagine, but I don't know how to tell him what's on -my- mind.
"What question?" I ask to stall for time. He suddenly turns nervous, suddenly can't look at me. Something in my hair catches his attention.
"Is that paint in your hair? What're you painting?" he cuts in, pale green paint on his fingers. I laugh, knowing it will be okay. I love him too much for it not to be.
"The nursery, of course," I answer softly, apprehension filling me anyway. He nods absently then starts choking on air. I almost start laughing, but the situation is too serious. He touches my face, his eyes questioning.
"Tenshi, are you serious? You're- we're having a baby?" he asks, an emotion I can't read in his face. I can only nod in answer, my throat too thick for words. I want him to be happy, to be excited. He picks me up in his arms and kisses me breathless, then lets me go again, reaching into his pocket for something. "I came here wanting to ask you this before I even knew- knew about our baby, but the timing is perfect," he adds, going down on one knee. My hands go to my mouth in shock. "Serenity Tsukino, you have been my hope in a world where I was lost in darkness. You would make me the happiest man alive or dead if you would marry me," he asks, opening the ring box in his hand to reveal a platinum band with a small diamond in the center. It's so beautiful it takes my breath away.
"Duo Maxwell, I'd be a fool not to, after everything we've been through. Just promise me that we'll get out of the Preventors, for now at least? I can't stand the thought of our baby growing up without a parent like I did," I plead, knowing somehow that he'll do anything for me. Tears are in both of our eyes as he slides the ring onto my finger, and I know that in all my dreams of the future there was a grain of truth.
"Will you show me the nursery?" he asks, looking around the room with his hand wrapped around mine. I laugh, more happy than I've ever been in my life.
"I'll show you everything!" I cry, leading him deeper into my apartment, and my life. This is our way of finding peace. We start a family and a life today, together. I don't know where it will all go from here, but as long as I have him, and I don't have to dream, then I know we'll be happy together.
By: The Firefaery
***
The wedding rolled around and Noin and I, along with the three other bride's maids we weren't familiar with, suffered through the ceremony in our ghastly pink confection-like dresses. It was a beautiful ceremony, and Wu Fei looked so handsome in his white Chinese kimono. It took all I had not to picture Duo and I up there. These dreams were making me crazy! I didn't even know if I loved him, and here I was barely keeping myself from imagining our wedding! I needed to get back into the swing of work, try not to think about Duo. 'Two years-'
At the reception, we were allowed to change, and I got out this slinky white number I'd been saving for a special occasion. I curled my chin length hair with a curler provided by the hotel we were holding it at and applied a little make up. I had to admit I looked pretty good. Noin commented on it as well.
"It's a good thing Zechs is married to me, or I'd be worried he'd go after you," she joked, standing back and admiring the figure I made. I looked like a calmer version of the Tenshi no Shin I was known as. 'This might be fun.'
We walked out together, and Zechs came to collect his wife. I tried not to feel jealous of all the couples around me. It wasn't their faults Duo was gone. I wanted to have fun tonight at least, try to forget that he was probably dead. I stepped up to the bar and received a few appreciative looks from the single men gathered at the reception.
"Frozen margarita, please," I ordered, not caring if he asked for id. He obviously assumed I was of age, or the laws here for liquor were different from the ones I remembered in England, because a few minutes later the drink was set before me. I sipped it slowly, feeling the burn of the alcohol as it slid down my throat, and surveyed the room. The first dance between the bride and groom had happened while we were changing, not that I cared I'd missed it. The music was some jazz type stuff that I wasn't sure had been approved by either Wu Fei or Sally, but had people dancing anyway. I decided then and there that I was going to get completely smashed tonight, and forget that anybody was missing from this room. Three margarita's and a shot later, a tall man with dark unruly hair and deep blue eyes approached me.
"Which party you with?" he asked while I slowly blinked at him. He seemed familiar, but I couldn't quite remember how. It was the alcohol fuzzing my brain up.
"Umm- bride, but I know the groom," I managed, hoping I didn't sound as zonked as I thought I did. He nodded, and I noticed his shirt was unbuttoned slightly, showing a nice hairless chest with tan skin underneath his dress shirt. His jacket and tie were hanging over one arm, and I realized how hot it was in the room. The only thing keeping me cool was the small dress I wore.
"Yeah, Chang and I go way back," he stated, and something in me rang a warning bell. I shrugged it off, determined to enjoy the night.
"I've known Sally a couple years," I slurred out, taking a sip of my fourth margarita. Basically, our whole conversation was like that. With each minute that went by, he got closer and closer to me, until his body pressed up against mine. His hands were around my waist and I closed my eyes, trying to picture Duo in his place. He was whispering something in my ear.
"I've got a room upstairs," he suggested, licking my ear seductively. I quivered a little, the sensation new to me.
"I'm not sure-" I managed to protest before he began working his way down my throat, the little nips and sucks he gave me making it hard to swallow. His right hand slid up to the swell of my breast, and he traced it slowly. I couldn't see his expression because my eyes were closed, but the way my body reacted seemed to be telling me to go for it. He pinched my hardened nipple gently through the fabric of my dress, making me gasp softly. I didn't know what to do.
"Come on- Let's go up to my room," he urged, pressing me against the wall next to the last stool on the bar. I'd kind of been hiding in the corner getting drunk when he came up. His wandering right hand slid down and rubbed fiercely against my crotch, a whimper escaping my lips. It just felt too good. I didn't know how to say no when my body screamed 'Oh Kami yes!' Two years-
"What's your name?" I managed, looking up at him finally. He grinned widely, displaying even white teeth.
"Chiba Mamoru," he supplied, and I got a cold bucket of water in the face. I glared at him, feeling dirty for letting this male whore paw me.
"Oh really. I don't think you're here with Wu Fei or Sally, Chiba. I know for a fact you were fired from the Preventors a year and a half ago! I think you should leave now," I finished lowly, looking around for assistance bigger than me.
"Who are you to tell me what to do, bitch?" he sneered, grabbing one of my breasts roughly and squeezing. I gave gasp of indignation and kneed him in the crotch, right where it counts. He crumpled to the floor, clutching his jewels in agony.
"I'm the Tenshi no Shin, that's who," I murmured, walking away onto the crowded dance floor. After a moment I bumped into Quatre, who took one look at me and led me outside. I leaned my forehead against the cool glass of the outside window, letting the heat slide off of me. Quatre waited for me to catch my breath.
"What happened, Serena?" he asked softly, putting a gentle hand on my shoulder. I did something I almost never do, and let go of my emotions. He pulled his hand back in shock, sea-green eyes wide.
"Two years, Quatre!" I yelled quietly, not wanting to draw attention to myself. I didn't cry, but oh Kami I wanted to. "He's dead, isn't he?" I whispered, throwing myself into his arms and burying my face in the crook of his neck. He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around me and comfort me, and I still don't remember passing out at his feet.
I woke up the next day with a raging headache in a strange bed, and immediately feared the worst. Twenty and drunk in a stranger's bed, with clothes not my own on. I looked again and realized I really was wearing clothes, my own underwear and a long white t-shirt. It was better than waking up naked, I guess. I had no idea where I was, or what I'd done most of last night. My brain went fuzzy around the second margarita. The door opening across the room caught my attention, and I turned to look. There stood Quatre, shirtless with drawstring pajama pants on.
"Great. Just great! Did we sleep together least night, Quatre?" I demanded, not knowing how else to phrase it. To my amusement he turned a bright cherry red and began to stutter.
"N-no, oh no! I w-w-would never take advantage of y-you like th-that! I brought you h-here because I don't know where your apartment is," he managed, still red in the face. I sighed, then winced.
"That's good to hear. No offense or anything, of course. I'm sure you're very good in bed," I added, just to be mean. His fading blush returned full force and I snickered, then winced again.
"You must have an awful hangover. I'll grab some aspirin from the cabinet next door, okay?" the poor guy said, managing not to stutter but only just. He turned to go and I couldn't resist one last call.
"Nice pj's! You've got a cute ass!" I heard a yelp as he ran into something, stoking my laughter again. My head hurt like a bitch, and I was in a surly bad morning mood to be picking on my savior like that. I lay back down with an arm over my eyes, waiting for him to return with the meds. After a minute, the door creaked again and I opened one eye to see him with a glass of water and a bottle of pills.
"Here, take two of these," he said, sitting on the edge of the bed and handing me the glass of water after I sat up. He popped open the lid and dropped two pills into my hand. I took a gulp of water and sucked them down, then prayed for instantaneous relief.
"Arigatou, Quatre, for helping me out," I murmured, laying back down on the bed. I heard him shift as if to get up and leave, and reached out to stop him, grabbing his hand. "Please, stay with me. I don't want to be alone right now," I whispered, pulling him back down. After a moment of hesitation, he lay down next to me and pulled me to his bare chest, wrapping an arm around me. The scene so reminded me of the park dream I'd had that I couldn't hold back my tears any longer, and began to cry.
He rocked me there for hours while I sobbed into his chest, the tears a river I'd had dammed for years. I don't recall, or want to, all of it, but I can remember him murmuring into my ear that it would be all right, that everything would be fine. Quatre was the pillar of strength I needed so badly just then. By the time I ran dry, I couldn't see out of my eyes and my nose was running like a faucet. I was hoarse and tired and heart sore, but Quatre helped me into the shower and out of my dirty clothes, and I never felt self-conscious being naked in front of him. It was just a hard feeling to explain. I trusted him with me more than I trusted myself.
The water ran over me, and I let it wash away the pain. It was hot and stinging against my bare skin, but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything. I was so tired of missing him. Duo Maxwell was dead, and I had to move on. I grabbed a bar of soap off the rack and started scrubbing, rinsing the suds off along with my hope of ever seeing him again. I don't remember the water running cold, but the feeling of Quatre turning off the water and wrapping a towel around my chilled body was a comfort I would never forget.
He dressed me in clean clothes that he'd gotten from who knows where, and lay me back in bed, exhausted and sleepy. He slept next to me the rest of the day and night, and I had no dreams at all. Since then, Quatre has been my onii-chan, my loving big brother. I trust him like I trust no one else, even myself or my family. His words to me that long awful day are always clear.
"It's all right, Serena. I'll always be here for you, you can cry with me," the gentle, soft-spoken man whispered into my ear, a light breath of wind tickling my wet hair. "Don't ever be afraid to come to me when you need anything, ever," he added, and I knew in my heart it was true.
Things were quiet for many months, and I rolled around to twenty one. In June, Sally made the announcement that she and Wu Fei were expecting, and Noin admitted that she and Zechs were too. It was strange and almost uncomfortable to be around the two usually calm, efficient women as they compared baby clothes and formulas. They were due in February and March of the coming year, respectively. I could only watch apprehensively as together their stomachs slowly thickened and the two expectant fathers grew more and more annoying. The warm feeling of happiness disappeared, though, when Noin miscarried at the beginning of August.
"Have you heard, Serena?" Michiru asked me quietly one morning, before I went to the shooting range to warm up. I had a mission coming up, and I needed to brush up on some skills. I quirked an eyebrow at her, shaking my head no.
"Heard what?"
"Noin lost the baby," she admitted sadly, her eyes expressive and filled with sympathy for the grieving couple and the horrified Sally. I felt a little jolt of shock, uncertain as to how I was meant to react. It was a tragedy, yes, but I wasn't really as close to the rest of the field agents as I was to Quatre, and perhaps little Hotaru, though she wasn't an agent.
"That's very sad news," I finally decided to say, turning with my magnum and firing at the target down range. Michiru must have taken the hint, because when I finished the clip and turned around, she was gone. I hit the switch to bring the target sheet forward, and absently noticed that all shots had hit kill zones.
Most active agents were out in the field, somewhere off in the colonies or a hostile country on Earth. Even the reluctant Wu Fei was off in the Sanq Kingdom on short term body guard duty for Vice Foreign Minister Darlian, once Relena Peacecraft and Zechs' younger sister. I'd heard a rumor that she might be coming to HQ sometime soon, but I wasn't sure if the data was correct.
I itched to get out of the stifling atmosphere of HQ. Since the wedding, the dual expectant announcements, and Noin's tragedy, I'd basically shut down and pulled away from the group. It was too much involvement, I didn't feel as though I could risk getting that close to people again by sympathizing and comforting. I was afraid something else would happen. The field agents weren't exactly social friends, most of the time, but we did talk when we were home. I didn't do that anymore, and I think people were beginning to notice. Heero arrived back at base just before I left, a little battered but otherwise the same Perfect Soldier I'd known for two and a half years, and for some reason beyond me, decided he needed to give me a talk.
"Tenshi, I know I'm not the best person to bring this up," he began out of the blue two days before I was set to go. We were out on the range, the only place we ever really met up. "You can't shut yourself off." I turned to look at him, gun pointed down at the ground with the safety on.
"You're right. You're not the best person to be bringing this up, Wing," I told him emotionlessly, not blinking once as I met his dark eyes. I knew then, that he was the future I had to look forward to. I had maybe seen him smile three or four times in the years I'd known him, and he rarely spoke in complete sentences. Today must have been the exception to that, at least.
"Shit happens. It happens to everyone, Tenshi. I'm one of the more fucked up ones. Lots of shit has by chance or design happened to me. I don't need to tell you that I handled it by going cold." His eyes were locked with mine, an identical gun clutched in his hand. It was like looking in a mirror, almost, except the reflection was my reverse, everything on him dark where mine was light.
"Fuck you, Wing."
"I'll always be a little distant from everyone around me," he continued, ignoring my comment. "Whether I want to be or not." The eyes I was caught in glazed for a moment, a memory surfacing. I doubted it was pretty. He blinked and refocused on me. "It's not too late for you. Don't throw your feelings away just because a few times you got hurt. You don't want to be me."
"I don't think you want to be you, either, Heero," I whispered, anger crackling along my skin. It was the only emotion that I couldn't lose, the only thing I ran on now. And at the moment you did not want to piss me off.
I left for the field, buckled down in a rinky-dink shuttle that I definitely didn't trust to get me out of the atmosphere, let alone to L-13 Colony, where there was slight infighting going on. We needed some inside data, and it was my assignment to infiltrate and get as close to the top of one side as I could. Their plans for after the civil war could very well involve attacking the Earth. Damned if I was going to let that happen.
My cover was as a tech-student, just out of Uni. I had a mild background in martial arts, and a close interest with chemicals and making things go boom. My name; Sena Maldare, easy to remember and something I would answer to automatically. This was my first deep cover mission, and I reviewed the files while in flight to the colony that was known for it's research in chemical warfare and laser guided explosives. They were said to be harboring a runaway genius, wanted for getting a little too excited about a weapons experiment and blowing up a city block on L-24 Colony. Last name only, a Mizuno somebody, one more person of questionable character to add to the whole population. L-13 was a little on the shady side, that was for sure.
The two main factions doing the fighting right now were pretty much a couple territory gangs pumped up on steroids in the form of some industrial backers with money who were looking for a place to test weapons freely and using the tension as an excuse. One claims to have a reason for helping the Rogues, the other a reason for cutting a weapons deal with the Hombres. The colony had a lot of Latino influence as well. The Rogues were a large minority of Americans, mainly migrants for the Texas Republic after the war that returned it to the U.S. Union.
They'd carried over their general dislike of the Hispanics that crossed the Rio Grande River and took jobs in Texas illegally to the new colony, and were vying for power against the large Hombre gang. It was getting pretty violent, with the big backers who wanted them to kill each other off supplying more and more weapons. A side note on the bottom of the file was that Field Agent Shinigami, a.k.a. Duo Maxwell, had tried infiltrating the Rogues two years ago and disappeared. My heart nearly stopped when I read this.
"These are the people that killed Duo," I whispered into the quiet whir of recycled air as the shuttle flew through space. "I need to get into their posse, so to speak, and find out what happened." The words were dark and choked with my anger, and a small part of me knew that people would die by my hand before this mission was completed. Duo would not go out un-avenged.
*The sheets were smooth against my bare skin as I lay down in his arms. Hands traced the curves of my body, heating my blood and warming my heart. I turned to look into his beautiful eyes, and he leaned down and kissed me.
"Aishiteru, Tenshi," he whispered after breaking the kiss. I smiled lovingly at him, reaching up to unbind his hair. It fell in a dark wave around us, his scent filling my mind. My hands slid up his bare chest, tracing his face, to finally bury my fingers in all that hair.
"Aishiteru, Duo," I answered hoarsely as he suddenly thrust into me, burying himself inside of me as my fingers had in his mane. My legs wrapped around his waist as we continued this dance, this song for just the two of us. Our breathing filled the room, my body taut against his. Sweat beaded on my lip, but I couldn't let go to brush it away.
"Oh god-" he groaned harshly, his pace quickening as my cries grew louder. Suddenly, the world lit up around us and I called out his name, his own cries following soon after. Still buried inside me, his face pressed against my neck, he whispers once again, "Aishiteru, aishiteru." Falling asleep in his arms, I'd never felt so safe in my life.*
The bumping of the shuttle lock jolted me from a light doze hours later as I slid into a bay door of L-13. I'd arrived, and I was ready for some action. My weapons were carefully concealed, on my person and in my small amount of luggage. Whatever I was short on, I could buy here or go without. It wasn't unusual for a migrant to come in bearing weapons, not in this colony, so I knew the required immigration search wouldn't be very thorough. If the person packing got pissed off, no telling what happened or who came to support them, so people tended to let most everything slide by. An attendant greeted me at my hatch and helped me out, reaching in to unload my bags.
"How're you today, young ma'am?" he asked politely, his smile friendly and open. I could hear the twang in his voice right away, and I smiled right back, knowing I had to get in good with these people.
"Fine, though it sure was a long trip," I answered brightly as he handed me my two bags. He nodded sympathetically, checking a digital chart that he unclipped from his side.
"I can understand that, comin' straight from Ol' Earth," he supplied, perusing my flight plan for a moment. I waited patiently for him to finish, sinking into the part of young and eager, bright and cheerful.
"Oh, don't I know it. If I ever go home again, I'll sure stop off somewhere in the middle for a while!" I joked, grinning. He chuckled, making a few notations before he re-clipped the board and turned to me.
"Sure thing, hun. Them long range straight through flights are hard on people, 'specially gentle young women like yourself." He winked at me, and I accordingly blushed, in actuality wanting to deck him for flirting with someone twenty years younger than him. I knew I looked younger than the twenty-three my ID claimed anyway, and he was still doing it. "I know a good place you can rest up, if'n you don't have no where's else to head," he suggested, and I thanked Kami for the break this could give me. It was sure to be in a Rogue neighborhood, and populated by people associated with them, too. I'd be right in the thick of it.
"Oh, that would be just great, sir!" I cried enthusiastically, mentally rolling my eyes. The part I was playing was the type of girl I would plug my ears around or smack. He grandly printed out a sheet of directions for me and handed them over, grinning.
"You shouldn't have no trouble at all finding it, and when you get there you tell 'em Johnny H. sent ya, ya hear?" He winked again and waved me on, never once searching my bags or my person. I nodded thankfully and shouldered my bags, heading through the bustling space port to the outside world of the colony and the crowded streets of a suburb called Becitos. There wouldn't be any kissing going on between the gangs running around in this metropolis, though.
I slipped through the crowds, dressed in some faded jeans, brown boots, and a sleeveless black stretch top with a small v-neck collar. My hair was long, a special weave for this mission, and a darker blonde than usual. It was currently back in a French braid, tight to keep it out of my face. I studied his directions for a moment than headed towards the Texas District, as it was marked on the map. There were some vehicles on the road, but it was mostly foot traffic. I began to notice the crowd itself as I walked, at first an even mix of all nationalities, though with a slight majority in favor of Latinos. As I got closer to my destination, though, it leaned more heavily to broad-shouldered caucasian men and average to slightly shorter women with long hair and modest clothing.
Up ahead, two men, one white, the other darker-skinned, were yelling insults and waving fists at each other. The white man suddenly nailed the dark man in the mouth, and all hell broke loose. People were running for cover, more men from both sides were pouring out of the woodwork, and guns and knives were flashing everywhere. Ducking into an alley, I figured it was a good time to get out of there. As shots rang out over the otherwise quiet neighborhood, I high-tailed it to the building Johnny H. and his directions pointed me to.
Stepping into the Amarillo Bar was like walking into an Old West movie, almost. Cowboy hats and boots, guns around every waist, and the twang in people's voices so thick you could cook with it. I tried to look as lost as I could, and sure enough, the bartender behind the counter motioned for me to come over.
"You look a little lost, hun," the big man said, his hair slicked back, with a stark white apron spanning his large frame. "Can I help you?"
"Well, I think I'm in the right place," I began hesitantly, looking around. "Johnny H. at the dock said to come here, following these directions, but I ran into some trouble back there," I added, motioning back towards the gun fight. At Johnny H.'s name, the guy perked up and became even friendlier, smiling broadly.
"Aw, now, young thing like you all the way out on L-13 by yourself? That just ain't right. Here, sit down and have a coke on the house, and I've got someone to talk to you in a sec." He motioned to an empty barstool and slid a soda can in front of me before going to talk to another man down at the end of the bar. The whole room was loud, smoky, noisy and crowded, with plenty of good ol' drunk cowboys.
"What's your name, kid?" a voice asked, interrupting my thoughts. I turned to meet the gaze of none other than tall, dark, and handsome. Knowing he was expecting it, I let my jaw drop a little before pretending to catch myself.
"Uh - I'm Sena, Sena Maldare," I answered, completing the picture by blushing cutely. He grinned cockily, winking at me.
"Mitch there said you just got into town, you got a place to stay yet?" he asked, appearing friendly. I could see the lust in his eyes though as he looked at me. I pretended ignorance as I shook my head.
"No, I haven't had time to look anywhere yet," I said, forlorn and lost. The creep nodded sympathetically, just worried about the newcomer. Yeah, right.
"That's too bad," he said nonchalantly, "But as it turns out, I own an apartment building near here. I could give you a real good deal on a place, if you're interested. I like helping out damsels in distress," he added winningly, a cocky, shit-eating grin on his face again. I faked a gasp of delight, then stifled it.
"Oh no, I couldn't possibly - I wouldn't want to impose," I whispered shyly, looking away. "Besides, I don't even know your name, sir." I mentally rolled my eyes at all the crap I was putting out, but it sounded so damn good!
"Think nothing of it, honey. And my name is Nat Turner, just think of me as your knight in shining armor." I giggled as he winked at me. "Do you wanna check the place out now?" I nodded and he reached down and lifted up my bags, nodding to Mitch the bartender as we exited.
"Thank you so much, Mr. Turner," I said again later as he turned to leave my new digs, a modest but immaculate apartment in a small building a few blocks from the Amarillo. We'd settled on a very good price, for the size and location of the apartment. He may or may not be for real, but at least I had a place to stay for a while.
"Hey, you're welcome. And since you're new around here, how about I come down around dinner time and show you a great place to eat? I have a lot of friends who'd love to meet you," he suggested, and I finally smelled the rat. This guy was a pimp, and he was setting me up to meet with his clients. I barely kept myself from lunging for his throat, but I figured I could go along with it for a while. All I needed was information; I wasn't here for the long haul. Just enough to show how big a threat these people were, then HQ would call in the shock troops and we'd clear the whole colony out.
"Oh that'd be great, Mr. Turner! I don't know anyone here, and I'd feel really lost going out on my own," I gushed. "You've been so kind to me, I don't know how I could ever repay you," I murmured, looking at him with star-struck eyes. Turner grinned again and patted me on the shoulder.
"I'm just glad I could help. Wear something nice, I'm taking you to a club that's pretty high-end. I'm sure you brought a pretty dress in that bag," he called over his shoulder, heading Kami-knew-where. I sure as hell didn't care. The creep made my skin crawl. I headed towards the small bathroom to shower and change, and strap on a few choice pieces of my arsenal.
Sure enough, at about a quarter to six, a knock on my door announced Turner's arrival. I opened it with a broad smile on my face, faking an excitement I didn't feel. A lovely bouquet of flowers tickled my nose and I squealed in girlish delight, taking them from his hand and going to find a vase to put them in. After that we left, to be met downstairs by a chauffeur and a limousine, a dream come true for any young girl. At least, I'm sure that's what Turner assumed. All these things were carefully calculated to bring the girl into his debt, while dazzling her with fancy cars, clothes, food and flowers.
The club we arrived at was completely in line with everything else that day, and I did my best to gawk. The dress I wore was a modest black evening gown, one of the best dresses I owned, and the only one I'd brought on this assignment. Turner himself was wearing a tux, and so was every guy in the Gent that night. We were immediately led to a table full of other well dressed men and their dates, all of the women probably escorts provided by Turner. He introduced me around the table, and thus the bidding began.
We went there every night, and over the course of three or four weeks, I saw more faces from the ranks of the Rogues then I could have ever hoped to going through my normal channels. I'd hit a piece of luck, and I was going to hang on to it for as long as possible. So far I hadn't been required to sleep with anybody, but I knew eventually it would come to that, and that's when I'd have to split back to Earth or go underground here on L-13. Then a miracle happened, and I found him. Turner had me back at the Gent, and we were walking around introducing me to more prospective clients.
"Ah, Miss Maldare, I'd like you to meet a very good friend of mine, Kent Jericho. Jericho, this is Sena Maldare, a new acquaintance of mine." I didn't look up right away, but the oil in Turner's voice let me know that this guy was probably one of the top Rogue officers. I turned to look at this new player, and met violet eyes out of my dreams. Duo Maxwell stood in front of me, the only difference about him being his beautiful braid was cut. His hair barely reached past his ears. He gave no sign of recognition though, and I realized it had been over three years since I last saw him. I had been nineteen the first time I met him, now I was a woman of almost twenty-three, with hair past my shoulders and a new grace to my body from all the training and drills I'd been put through since he left.
"Ah, Turner, great to see you again," Duo cried enthusiastically, pounding the pimp on the back like they were old friends. "And lovely to meet you, too, Miss Maldare," he added gallantly, kissing the back of my hand. I blushed and murmured a thank you, and tried to convince myself it was all part of the act. A small, navy-haired woman came up behind 'Kent' and placed a gloved hand on his arm, catching his attention.
"Kent, won't you introduce me?" she asked softly, looking at us shyly. Turner gave her a leering once-over, but otherwise behaved himself. I felt jealousy boiling up, but I knew I couldn't say anything for fear of blowing my cover. This was all such a shock, Duo alive and relatively well.
"Of course, Ami," he placated, smiling at her. "This is my younger sister, Amelia Jericho," Kent explained, pulling the woman forward. "Amelia, this is Nat Turner and his friend, Sena Maldare," he added, introducing us all.
"A pleasure," I murmured, shaking hands lightly with her. Turner returned Kent's earlier gesture and kissed her hand softly, smiling at her.
"What a lovely sister you have, Jericho," Turner complimented over her hand, still smiling. Amelia blushed prettily, and I nearly growled. There had been no sister in Duo's deep cover assignment, and I knew something was up. I had to find someone to get him alone, but the whole evening was a waste. All the small talk, the dropping of names, the blushes and the sighs and the female fluttering, I thought I was going to be sick. Finally, we called it a night and headed to our respective places of residence.
Later that night, sometime around one, there came a knock at my door. Not sure what it could be at this hour, I opened it very carefully. Turner stood there in a casual business suit, looking very smug with himself. Dread filled me, and I knew he must have finally found the first buyer for me.
"Mr. Turner, what can I do for you at this late hour?" I asked innocently, ushering him in. He turned to look at me, all semblance of the concerned knight in shining armor gone.
"Sena, dear, I've been a very generous man this past month or so, haven't I?" At my nod, he continued. "I've never asked for anything in return, and I've given you many pretty things and a nice place to sleep as well, yes?"
"Of course, Mr. Turner, and you have no idea how thankful I am," I said softly, a confused look on my face. At this he gave an evil grin.
"Ah, but perhaps now is the time to start paying me back, Sena dear. You see, I'm a man who gives people what they want. In your case, it was a place to stay and some pretty trinkets and flowers. I also deal in rare objects, or sometimes- carnal desires?" Here he stood next to me and ran a finger down my bare arm. I shivered in disgust. "Now, all I'm asking you to do is give a little back after all I've given to you," he hissed, his hand reaching up to grip my face. "Is that too much to ask?" I shook my head, pretending a fear that was really anger. "Good. Now I have a lovely gentleman lined up to spend time with you tonight, and all I ask is that you behave like the good little girl I know you are and put this on. I'll wait out here and then we'll go." He handed me a light package, lingerie I supposed, and shooed me towards my room.
Half an hour later we pulled up in front of large penthouse building, over forty floors high. Turner got out and opened my door on the other side, escorting me up to the thirty-fifth floor and knocking on the door. After a few last minute, dire warnings and instructions, he left me there to meet my fate. The revolver strapped to my left leg was definitely going to be my friend tonight. I could hear the locks and chains being undone behind the door, and then it swung open.
"Oh Kami," a voice whispered, and I realized with a shock of surprise that it was Duo. He reached out and pulled me inside, locking the door behind us. Suddenly, I was in his arms and he was holding me, his shoulders shaking with his sobs. I did the only thing I could, and wrapped my arms around him, leading us to the couch and managing to sit us both down. I noticed distantly that I was crying, too, and didn't bother to stop it. I hadn't cried since that night with Quatre, but I figured now was a good time to do it again. After we cried ourselves out, he pulled away from me and looked in my eyes. "I didn't want to hope it was really you," he said, touching the side of my face as he had all those years ago.
"I knew it was you from the first moment," I countered, bringing my own hand up to his face. "I waited, Duo, for so long-"
"I know, but it's almost over, now that you're here." He went on to explain that after the botched transmission and his injuries, he'd been pulled even deeper into the Rogues, where he'd met the scared persona of Ami Mizuno, a.k.a. Amelia Jericho. "I would have made a break for it with what information I'd already gotten, except I didn't think I could make it with an extra person. And I couldn't leave Ami to these vultures, they'd chew her up and spit her out, after getting all her explosive genius onto computer disc." He shrugged, leaning back against the sofa in thought.
"I can understand, but was there no way at all for you to get word back to HQ?" I asked softly, my words demanding. He shook his head, not looking at me.
"I was almost caught the last time, and I nearly died. What would Ami do without me? I couldn't risk getting caught." Sighing, he reached over to pull me against his shoulder, but I stopped him.
"So, it's Ami, is it? Of course it is," I managed, almost choking. Surprise written on his face, he stared at me. "I waited so long, and after that transmission I thought you were dead for sure. It's been almost three years, but I knew I'd never find anyone else. I came here with vengeance on my mind, I was determined to get the information I needed and kill a few choice people in the process. And then I found you were alive! Do you know what a shock that was for me?" I was crying again, and I turned away so he couldn't see me do it. Of course he would find someone here. She was right in front of him, someone who needed his help. What did I know, anyway? I was just a kid the last time he saw me, no something to set your hopes on for four years.
"Oh, Serena," I heard him say. A hand slid under my chin and I let him turn me towards him, ready for him to tell me how stupid I was for loving him this long, for dreaming of something that would never be. I looked up, into those eyes that had haunted me for so long, and barely held back more tears. I really did love him. How stupid. "Don't you know, Ami is just like a sister to me. The poor kid, she had no idea what she'd gotten mixed up in when I first got wind of her. I got her out of all that, and set her up as my kid sister up from Earth. Nobody would touch her that way. All we were waiting for was a chance to get out of here." He paused and traced my bottom lip with his thumb, a gesture that made my heart thud in my ears. "There wasn't a day gone by that I didn't think of you, not one," he whispered. "I even dreamt of you, of a future that could never happen," he added, shocking me. I pulled back in surprise.
"But I dreamt of you too!" I cried, my hands gripping his arm. "I dreamt of many things, like children, and a home, our wedding- making love," I choked out, reaching up to touch his cropped hair. His eyes were wide with shock, and I realized we dreamt the same things, the same settings. "I love you."
"I love you too, Serena," he whispered, then suddenly he was crushing me to him, his lips against mine in a kiss I'd dreamed of forever. His hands were on my body, in my hair, his teeth and tongue torturing my mouth. The heels Turner had made me wear were off across the room somewhere and he was lifting me up like I was a feather and taking me off to what I assumed was his bedroom. His arms were around me, fingers searching for the zipper of the red little number I wore, while my own hands tore at the buttons of his shirt and the fly of his slacks.
Somehow we made it to the bed, somehow his mouth found my breasts, somehow he found his way inside me. The first moments were painful, his expression startled as he realized I was a virgin, but soon my cries were joyful as we moved together as one. I'd never felt anything like it, never been so close to one person in my life, and I never wanted anyone else except him. He slid in and out of me, my fingers clenched inside his hair, as my body tensed. Finally I came with a long deep moan, heat rushing over me, filling me to the brim. He joined me in a moment, a warmth spreading inside me from him. We lay together in the tangle of his sheets, sweat streaking our bodies, the smell of sex hovering in the room, and I smiled contentedly.
"Aishiteru, Duo." I nuzzled his neck, his smell filling my nose. He pulled a blanket up to cover us and I fell asleep quietly, easily, for the first time since he left.
Needless to say, now that he had the support he needed, the two of us plus Ami cleared that place out quick. Plenty of gunfire, people going down, I tried not to flinch when a .45 round landed in my shoulder. Duo didn't notice, and eventually we made it to a ship that he'd gotten the codes for. The three of us piled in, me on the edge of consciousness, and we were off, back to Earth. Kami-sama, but it felt good to be going home, was my last thought before I hit the deck.
All that was two months ago, though. I'd woken up alone in the medical wing of HQ, drugged and confused with my shoulder killing me, and no Duo in sight. Sally Po came in glowing, her stomach round with Wu Fei's baby and a chart in one hand. She explained that Duo was getting debriefed along with Ami Mizuno, and that as soon as I felt up to it, it would be my turn. I nodded shakily, and a few days later stood with a stoic face as Lady Une, Zechs, Setsuna, and Relena Darlian of all people fired question after question at me. I still hadn't seen Duo. It was like the whole thing was a dream. After I got out of there, it all hit me like a ton of bricks and I couldn't deal. With no word from him and too many confusing things going on in my head, I asked for a leave of absence and got it, indefinitely.
Now here I am, back in England, pregnant. No need to explain who the father is. I turned twenty-three last week, with only Ako to celebrate with. I've never felt so alone in my life. I first suspected I was pregnant when I missed my first period after that night on L-13, but I didn't really want to believe. I finally talked myself into taking a test, and low and behold, I was carrying Duo's baby. I went to an obstetrician right away, not about to screw up something so important, and got it confirmed. Now I'm on pre-natal vitamins and a special diet and exercise program. I haven't talked to HQ since I left on vacation, and there seems no use in trying to get a hold of Duo Maxwell, the stupid jerk. I'm pretty resigned to dealing with this on my own. I got a hair cut, back in the old style when I first joined the Preventors, and my own apartment an hour away from my mom's. I don't need anyone.
"No, no one at all," I whisper to my empty flat, one hand on my stomach and the other on my broken heart.
About a week later, I'm painting the nursery just for the hell of it when the buzzer of my flat door rings. I set down the brush and walk back through the apartment to answer it. It buzzes again as I'm walking there.
"I'm coming!" I yell, annoyed. Close to fuming, I swing open the door to be met by a face full of wild flowers. "Oh," I cry, even before looking to see who it is.
"Serena?" an all too familiar voice asks tentatively, and I turn to meet those damn violet eyes. I can't seem to escape him.
"Hai?" I sigh, letting him inside. He follows slowly, like a lost puppy. I watch him look around, and I find myself hoping he likes it. I head to the kitchen for a vase as he shuffles his feet in nervousness, I guess.
"I've been trying to get a hold of you for months, now, since we got back," he starts, confusion in his voice. I feel a twinge of guilt. "I was getting worried about you, but then Quatre mentioned you had family in England, so I flew here. Your mom gave me this address." Finishing, he comes into the kitchen with me and rests a hand on my shoulder. "Are you all right?" I turn to look at him.
"Iie, I'm scared. We got back, and it all seemed so crazy, so unreal, what happened. I couldn't seem to deal with it, and I couldn't find you, so I came back to the only place where most people wouldn't look for me." I laugh slightly. "Most people, except you." He smiles that grin of his, and leans down to kiss the tip of my nose.
"I'm just glad you're not mad at me. I came here to ask you something, and it would've really sucked if you were mad at me," he admits, putting an arm around me and pulling me in for a kiss. I melt, wondering how I could have felt so confused when I felt so safe in his arms. What his question is, I can't imagine, but I don't know how to tell him what's on -my- mind.
"What question?" I ask to stall for time. He suddenly turns nervous, suddenly can't look at me. Something in my hair catches his attention.
"Is that paint in your hair? What're you painting?" he cuts in, pale green paint on his fingers. I laugh, knowing it will be okay. I love him too much for it not to be.
"The nursery, of course," I answer softly, apprehension filling me anyway. He nods absently then starts choking on air. I almost start laughing, but the situation is too serious. He touches my face, his eyes questioning.
"Tenshi, are you serious? You're- we're having a baby?" he asks, an emotion I can't read in his face. I can only nod in answer, my throat too thick for words. I want him to be happy, to be excited. He picks me up in his arms and kisses me breathless, then lets me go again, reaching into his pocket for something. "I came here wanting to ask you this before I even knew- knew about our baby, but the timing is perfect," he adds, going down on one knee. My hands go to my mouth in shock. "Serenity Tsukino, you have been my hope in a world where I was lost in darkness. You would make me the happiest man alive or dead if you would marry me," he asks, opening the ring box in his hand to reveal a platinum band with a small diamond in the center. It's so beautiful it takes my breath away.
"Duo Maxwell, I'd be a fool not to, after everything we've been through. Just promise me that we'll get out of the Preventors, for now at least? I can't stand the thought of our baby growing up without a parent like I did," I plead, knowing somehow that he'll do anything for me. Tears are in both of our eyes as he slides the ring onto my finger, and I know that in all my dreams of the future there was a grain of truth.
"Will you show me the nursery?" he asks, looking around the room with his hand wrapped around mine. I laugh, more happy than I've ever been in my life.
"I'll show you everything!" I cry, leading him deeper into my apartment, and my life. This is our way of finding peace. We start a family and a life today, together. I don't know where it will all go from here, but as long as I have him, and I don't have to dream, then I know we'll be happy together.