A Shattered Demon Child

Part 6

Every muscle it took to smile caused him pain. Naruto played the games with them and tricked them once again. The pain was getting to his head entirely. There was hardly any emotion left for him to feel besides empty. The fake smiles did enough to convince them he was doing okay despite the fact he was no better at all. The more he smiled, the more he felt himself sinking deeper and deeper into his own darkness. He thought it didn't hurt like it had before; he didn't know the real difference anymore. He was on a decline and everyday seemed as if he gradually was getting worse as time went on. It wasn't dramatic, but it was there.

They believed all the lies and the smiles just like before. As time went on, Kakashi was keeping a closer eye on Naruto; he was suspicious of his almost sudden change. He knew there was no way Naruto was back to normal in what seemed like no time at all. His training went on like usual and so did his missions. He seemed almost normal. The only issue with that was Kakashi knew the "normal" Naruto presented for years was all fake. He had to admit the boy was good at acting considering he had everyone fooled. Tsunade told Kakashi to keep a close eye on the boy after his sudden change. She suspected Naruto was only acting better, not actually doing any better mentally.

Iruka didn't see the issues they did; he was just happy to hear Naruto was seeming better in the first place. He wanted to believe he was seeing Naruto recovering and progress had been made. While he was absolutely lying to their faces, Naruto felt more and more alone. The darkness surrounding him was that; a darkness consuming everything that he held onto. His mind was clouded thoughts and noises. He bars he kept wrapped around him were the only thing that could contain most of his darkness from seeping through the bars of his caged emotions.

The bars drew closer and closer in as he tried to stop them from eventually crushing him with the cold bars that would draw out the clouds that surrounded his mind. He was failing to keep himself together as time drew on until the bars wrapped fully around his body, tight enough to almost crush him and release the darkness within his broken mind. He eventually gave in trying to fight as he was trapped in his own container he used to contain himself and hide away. He was paralyzed by the darkness as it had almost snapped him into a pile of blood and bones, not even recognizable as a human or as any creature at all.

Inside his head, he was defeated by the painful words his own teammate spat at him. He was no longer in the real world as he was trapped inside his own head. The only thing he could feel was the numbness of his own enclosure. He saw no reason left to fight anymore; all the hope he once had for saving Sasuke were shattered as he lost control of his emotions. For what felt like hours, Naruto screamed and raged inside his own head. He beat himself up over the fact he couldn't control the situation or change a damn thing.

He was useless at this point, and that was clear to him. He failed to do the one thing Sakura asked him to do and he failed all his friends by not bringing him back. The one thing he wanted to do the most was save Sasuke from the darkness Naruto was drowning in, and now, Sasuke was consumed by his thirst for revenge to the point he was nothing but set on revenge. He didn't care about his friends, his team, or the village anymore. He had one goal and he left everything behind for his revenge he wanted so desperately.

Kakashi and Tsunade had already started putting plans in place in case Naruto did anything to hurt himself. Tsunade was fortunately able to convince Kakashi to take the role of watching over Naruto. It wasn't that Iruka was incapable, but he did have to teach at the academy and couldn't always be around. Kakashi, however, could step in at any point and reach Naruto. Kakashi couldn't deny the fact that partly, in some way, all of this was his fault for failing Sasuke. He started spending more time with him as Naruto seemed to get better. He shouldn't have done that and he knew that now, but before he was mostly worried about Sasuke going rogue... And all that effort was for nothing.

After talking to the Hokage about what happened, Naruto was walking home. He had just been released from the hospital. Tsunade told him not to bet himself up and to forget about Sasuke; he was too far gone. Naruto refused to believe that; Sasuke was a friend and a teammate despite their constant arguing and fighting. Their rivalry was far from over as long as Naruto could grow stronger. However, he doubted he could convince Sasuke to come back. At the very least, he could beat some sense into the raven haired boy. He'd try again and again if he had to do it for years to come.

Walking down the street with his hands in his pockets, Naruto heard the whispers and saw the glares. Word had gotten out about Sasuke going rogue fast somehow, and yet, Naruto wasn't ready to hear about it from the village yet. He just lost his friend to his thirst for revenge. At this point, Naruto wasn't ready to accept the fact he failed once again. Sakura tried to cheer him up, but she failed to do so. Naruto acted happy with her and Jiraiya around. Once they left him alone, he was sinking further down the darkness he found himself drowning in.

For afar, he didn't sense Kakashi tailing him from atop the buildings down the street. Naruto didn't particularly care about anything at that time as he walked by the villagers and shinobi that stood around under the street lights around him. He failed once again, and for that reason, Kakashi followed Naruto to his home just in case there was trouble. The copy ninja watched from above the streets until Naruto got to his apartment finally. He unlocked the door and turned the lights on. He shut and locked the door, letting out a sigh. He was finally alone.

He went to his room and shut the curtains, not wanting the world outside to have a shot at looking at him for what was about to take place. Naruto took off his headband and threw it across the room. His eyes were red and his nails grew outwards. He growled as he took out Sasuke's scratched headband. He stared down at it.

"I'm sorry..." his voice broke as tears welled up from his eyes.

He set the headband beside the photo he had of Team Seven. Naruto sat down on his bed and put his head in his hands, unsure what he was going to do. Considering the fact this had happened so fast, Naruto could barely wrap his head around all the details to come up with a plan of some sort. He barely had the information in order himself, and he was in no shape to try and run after Sasuke again. He was weaker than Sasuke for sure, and there was no point in fighting another battle he'll lose.

Naruto felt the sob get stuck in his throat as he felt the pain rushing into his chest. He had been betrayed by his own friend, and somehow, he didn't blame him for doing so. Naruto didn't really have friends, not truly. Sasuke was the only person who understood Naruto enough about the pain of growing up alone.

Naruto ran into the bathroom and yanked off his jacket. He threw it onto the floor by the tub and growled as he leaned against the sink. He fingers gripped the edge of the sink as he looked up at his reflection. His face was grim aside from the red eyes looking back at him with rage. It wasn't towards Sasuke, just rage towards himself. He's the one who failed, not Sasuke. He failed to convince him to stay, and for that, Naruto wouldn't let it go. He couldn't accept the fact maybe Sasuke just didn't care at all about anyone. It pissed Naruto off that Sasuke abandoned everything for revenge against Itachi. He could've stayed and had friends to back him up, but no, he decided he had to do it alone. He always did things on his own.

The blonde genin looked down at his scarred arms, now having lethal weapons on his fingers, made things easier for him. Naruto growled as he started pressing his nails into his left forearm.

Why did I have to fuck up again?

Blood was already seeping through his skin that had been pierced deeply by Naruto's fingernails. Naruto caught the sob in his throat and let out a shaky breath. He started sliding his fingers slowly across his wrist as more blood pooled out. Naruto climbed into his tub, as to not get blood everywhere. He curled up in the tub with his knees pulled close to him as he continued to mutilate his arm. With every second, Naruto felt the craving for more grow.

He stopped with his left and and went to the right one, as he was running out of space. Once he decided taking his time would do absolutely nothing but piss him off, he started violently clawing at his wrist. Before long, there was blood all over the wall beside him and in the bottom of the tub. Naruto almost curled in a ball as he rested his head on his knees. He started sobbing quietly, seeming to fall victim of his emotions breaking down around him. All the walls he created had been ripped apart and were only ruins of what once was to protect him from himself. What he rebuilt was gone once again; he tore everything apart like a sheet of paper. There was no resistance as there was no thought that could stop him from tearing himself apart inside and out.

Before long, Naruto started feeling dizzy and laid back against the back of the tub. He blinked at the light around him, realizing that he'd survive this, just like any other time he did this. He was weak enough to be incapable of actually killing himself, so he'd given up on the idea. At this rate, he just wanted to get his life over with. There was no point in trying so hard to live or to die when he had nothing left to offer.

He was nothing special at all, and he understood that already. It was just more and more apparent to him he'd always be a failure. There was no changing that; it was just an unchangeable fact. His arms started going numb just before his vision started to blur. It was at this point he really wished he would die. Maybe then he wouldn't be an absolute failure; selfish, yes, but not a totally failure.

He turned his head towards the ceiling as he begin to have clouded thoughts about how quickly his wounds could heal despite his efforts. Naruto shrugged off the idea and simply waited in the silence of the brightly lit room. Naruto felt his body grow colder as he sensed someone was nearby. He tried to get himself up, but he was too weak to move. Hopefully, they weren't going to intervene in his current situation. Before his mind drifted off, he couldn't even feel the skin he ripped open. His eyes were dull as they began to close on him. He passed out in the cold room, the only noise to be heard was his deep breaths.

When he lost consciousness, Kakashi felt his stomach drop from on top the neighboring build to where Naruto's apartment building was. Kakashi jumped towards his front door and tried to knock on the door, but there was nothing. Kakashi turned the handle to find it was locked. He growled and rushed over the roof to get to Naruto's bedroom window. Kakashi managed to slide the window open and jump into the room. Kakashi stood up off the floor to see Naruto's headband across the room, right next to his bed. Kakashi picked it up and set it on the bed. His nose filled with a metallic scent that he dreaded to smell coming from inside the bathroom. Kakashi opened the door quickly, only to see the horror of what Naruto had done.

There was blood all over the shower wall beside Naruto, who was passed out in the bathtub with his arms mutilated. His fingernails were short again, but still covered in blood. Kakashi felt his neck and felt his pulse. He was alive, thankfully. Kakashi let out a deep sigh, grateful his student was still alive. He wasn't sure if he should take Naruto to Tsunade or try to take him to the hospital directly.

Knowing Naruto, those would only make Naruto even more upset. Kakashi could wrap his arms and take him home to keep an eye on him, that way he wouldn't have to worry about if Naruto had ran off to hurt himself again. Kakashi knew taking him home was his best option in keeping Naruto from hurting himself again. The silver-haired shinobi bent down and examined Naruto's arms carefully. He did a lot of damage, but he would heal on his own just fine. Kakashi didn't see anymore injuries before he picked Naruto up and carried him out of the room. Kakashi grabbed Naruto's jacket and carried it under his student. Kakashi turned off all the lights and exited Naruto's apartment without stirring the child and flew across the roof tops.

Kakashi's heart hurt for Naruto, seeing him in so much pain. He knew what Naruto was feeling, and he understood why Naruto was so hard on himself. His sensei of all people understood what loss was like. He'd known loss his whole life, and it took him years to move past it with his sensei's help. He promised himself he'd try to do for Naruto what Minato did for him. Kakashi kept Naruto closer to his chest as he arrived at his home. He opened the door quietly and shut the door before he turned on the lights. He moved towards the bathroom and set Naruto in the tub. Kakashi got a cloth and started cleaning his injuries. Each cut was oozing red and hopefully not infected.

Naruto... You shouldn't blame yourself for this. It's my fault Sasuke left; I couldn't stop him... I can't lose you too, Kakashi thought somberly to himself.

As he lightly rubbed at Naruto's left arm, he noticed the blond move his head. His blue eyes were slightly open as he woke up confused. Kakashi put the cloth down and started stroking the boy's hair. Naruto's eyes looked over to his sensei. He looked like a ghost to say the least. Even his eyes were void of life despite the rise and fall of his chest. Naruto looked at his arm Kakashi lightly moved onto the side of the tub. His body tensing up at the confusing situation. Kakashi gave him an eye smile and started stroking his hair. Kakashi opened his eye to see Naruto looking defeated. He looked away to the wall, trying not to look at Kakashi's face.

His sensei finished cleaning Naruto's arms and he picked Naruto up and sat him on the edge of the tub. Naruto's head hung as Kakashi wrapped his left arm first. Kakashi wanted to ask a million questions and find out what was going on, but first, he needed to make sure Naruto was taken care of. Kakashi made sure to rub disinfectant on his injuries before he wrapped his arms up. Naruto didn't even flinch at the burning of his skin. Kakashi was worried to say the least. Normally, Naruto would complain or fight him, but this time... Naruto gave up. He had no more fight left in him.

Kakashi finished wrapping his arms and patted his head.

"I'll be right back, okay?"

Naruto didn't make any movement or make a sound. Kakashi stood up and walked out of the room, unsure if he made the right choice by bringing Naruto home instead of to the hospital or at least to Tsunade. Kakashi walked into his bedroom and went straight for the closet. He dug out a shirt and some pants for Naruto to change into from his closet. He walked into the bathroom once again and saw Naruto still sitting in the exact same place as before. It was clear to see the boy was truly broken up. In turn, this made Kakashi worry a bit more about his student.

Kakashi set the clothing on the counter and knelt down in front of Naruto. His student still refused to look up at him. His sensei wondered if Naruto was even in the almost lifeless body before him. If it weren't for the fact he were breathing and looked the same, Kakashi would've sworn this wasn't his Naruto.

Kakashi said softly, "I know this is hard for you, it's hard for all of us. I know you weren't trying to endanger yourself earlier, so I figured you'd feel more comfortable away from the hospital. I also want to keep an eye on you for the time being. I need you to talk to me, Naruto. I can't help you if you don't talk."

Naruto looked up at him with a grim look in his eyes. Kakashi's heart lifted a little at the sight of his students face.

"Sorry, sensei... I failed..." Naruto said barely above a whisper.

Kakashi shook his head. "This was my fault, Naruto. I thought spending time with him and training him would make him see things clearly. I was... Wrong. For that, I'm sorry, Naruto."

Naruto shook his head and said, "Its okay. It's not your fault, Kakashi-sensei."

The silver-haired jonin felt the weight in his chest lift a little more as Naruto started talking again. It was good to hear him talking again; when he was silent was when he was in a lot of pain. Kakashi noticed these things over time with Naruto.

"Thank you... For not, ya know, taking me to the hospital..."

Kakashi nodded and said, "I hate hospitals too. Now, you should get changed. I have a spare room you're more than welcome to stay in whenever you need to. Doesn't matter what time of night or whatever, you're always welcome. It's just me here and the ninken."

Naruto slowly stood up, clearly not recovered from the blood loss from earlier. Normally, Kakashi would be worried about it if Naruto were anyone else, but he knew the Kyuubi would heal Naruto well enough as long as he tried to rest. Kakashi left the room to give Naruto privacy and stood in the hallway across from the door. After a few minutes, Naruto changed his clothes and exited the bathroom. He looked at Kakashi, clearly exhausted.

"Follow me," Kakashi said quietly.

The boy followed his sensei to the room right next to where they stood. Kakashi opened the door to the blank white room with a small bed in the corner of the room. There was a nightstand, dresser, lamp, and an empty closet. Naruto walked forwards as Kakashi turned on the main light. Naruto sat down on the soft bed and let out a sigh. He wasn't sure how to feel about the situation; he had no energy to truly care anymore. He just wished Kakashi had left him to die, but he didn't want to even try again. He was defeated, and he just couldn't fight, even to end his own life.

Kakashi sat down beside the child and Naruto looked startled. Nobody aside from Iruka, Tsunade and Jiraiya got very close to him outside of combat. He wasn't used to being close to a lot of people and that included his sensei.

"You should probably get some rest, Naruto. You've had a rough couple of days," Kakashi offered the boy.

Naruto shook his head and said, "There's not really much of a point. Who cares."

Kakashi felt his heart twist in his chest when he heard that. It had been a while since he'd seen this side of Naruto show itself. The part of him that only the Hokage and his sensei's knew about. This was the part that truly broke all of the shinobi who loved Naruto like he was their own. They considered him family, and yet, there was only so much they could do for him, especially in his current state of mind.

After a few moments of silence, Kakashi hugged Naruto. This threw off the knuckle-head-ninja in a way that wasn't bad. Naruto's face heated up, realizing that he was being selfish for what he'd done. His eyes were already pouring out. Kakashi felt the sob that caught in his students chest and held him tighter. He wished there was more he could do for Naruto, but at that point in time, there wasn't much else to do but try and comfort him. This was something that Kakashi could only witness and offer his help; there wasn't much else to do.

Naruto gripped Kakashi's jacket as his body shuddered. Kakashi ran his hand through the boys hair as his body shuddered with every sob he kept inside. The jonin felt the strings in his heart being pulled as he thought about his sensei's son who was tearing himself apart.

Minato-sensei... I know you'd do the same for him you did for me. I'll make sure that your son gets passed this, I promise. He's always been alone, and for that, I failed him... I won't make the same mistake again, Kakashi thought to himself, hoping his sensei at least knew he'd look after Naruto the best he could.

Hello again! First off, thank you all for the reviews and for sharing your thoughts. It really makes me happy to be able to hear you guys are enjoying the story so far. Since the outbreak, I've had A LOT of free time, so I'm trying to write as much as possible before I have to go back to work again. I've been working on my writing skills for the past two years, so its getting easier to write and share my work. I write outside of fanfiction (not publicly of course) but I truly love writing for you guys the most.

Please don't forget to share your thoughts below! I hope this can at least help you guys get through stuff. I should have a new chapter up soon, hopefully.

-xXstarryXnightXx