Can't Leave It Alone

by: Liv-x-Case-Benson

Ch. 1

"Alex, what are you doing here?" Olivia asked, opening the door in surprise.

"I...just needed to come back is all," she said a bit hesitantly.

"Mama?"

Olivia turned. "Go back to bed, Noah. It's okay. Alex, it's awfully late. Can't this wait until tomorrow?"

Alex sighed, eyes downcast. "Liv...please?"

The lieutenant sighed, opening the door wider to let her in.

Alex stepped through the door with an appreciative smile as Noah smiled from the doorway. "Didn't your mama tell you to go to bed?"

"Noah," Olivia warned, "I'm not going to tell you again."

He sighed. "Okay, goodnight, Alex."

Alex smiled from her spot on the couch. "Goodnight Noah."

He nodded, heading back to bed.

Olivia sat beside her on the couch. "So, how are you doing?"

"I'm...doing okay."

"And you're here because…?"

Alex sighed, brushing her long blonde hair over her shoulder. "Can't I just visit a friend?"

Olivia nodded. "Yes but...Alex, you look...upset, almost broken. What's wrong?"

The blonde shrugged. "Not now, please Liv."

Olivia rested a hand on her arm. "Are you...hurt?" she asked quietly.

"Liv…" she said, resting her head on her shoulder. "Can't we just...sit here? And not talk?"

The brunette nodded, resting her head on the former prosecutor's. "If you do need help…"

Alex nodded. "Just not tonight," she said as she relaxed a bit.

"Alex…"

"Hm?"

"Why are you here? It's been a while. A long while."

She sighed. "You're not going to give up tonight and let me sleep, are you?"

Olivia shook her head. "No," she said, getting up.

Alex sighed again, shedding her jacket.

"Don't tell me you need my kind of help. Alex, you're smarter than that."

"Hello? Do you see me with a black eye or strangulation marks around my neck?" she countered.

Again, the brunette shook her head, turning on another light, half of each of their faces illuminated. "Then what is it? What has you running back here?"

"I'd like to say you and be believed."

"Me? Alex, you can't be serious. I haven't seen you in how long? No phone call, text messages."

The blonde nodded. "Can't I just want to be back in your life?"

"It's never that simple with you. I have responsibilities now. My squad to look after. A son. You can't expect to waltz back in like nothing's changed."

"I never said that."

"But that's what you mean," she sighed. "That's what you want, isn't it?"

Alex stood in front of her. "What I want is your trust. I do need something, but… I just…"

"You're not sick are you?"

"No."

"Then why are you here?"

Alex pulled out her phone and clicked on her messages. The top contact was someone who's name had obviously been replaced by the word BLOCKED.

Olivia grabbed her phone and read dozens of messages.

All controlling.

All with profanity.

All threatening.

"Who?" It seemed like a simple question, but the blonde seemed reluctant to answer. "And why show me?"

Alex gently took her phone back, pulling up pictures of her with a tall man. Black hair, green eyes, slim, athletic build. She sighed. "His name is John Skeite. He's...my ex-fiancee."

"Fiancee?" she questioned, sitting beside her again. "What happened? I mean, you must've been happy sometime."

"I was. Until…" the blonde bit her lip, standing to,look out the window into the darkness of the late hour.

Olivia followed slowly, standing behind her, resting a hand on her shoulder. "...Alex."

She turned. "When I accepted the proposal, I-it wasn't for me…" she left the statement hanging in the air.

"A child, right?"

"What? You're not going to say how irresponsible I was? How stupid it was?"

Olivia shook her head. "No. Is that...why you're here?"

"No," she replied, handing her phone back to her, "read the long message," she said, turning back to the window.

'Look, you know it's your fault that my kid didn't live. It's not mine. You always told me you wanted kids and liked everything rough. I did what you asked. I-'

Alex cut off her reading. "What he doesn't tell you is that that night, I was running from him because he was falling-down drunk. I mean, I'd seen him knock back a few and it nothing. But that night, something changed. Suddenly, he didn't care who I was. Didn't care about his child either…"

Olivia nodded. "Keep talking."

"Why? Because it's your job to listen to listen to me? Because I'm a victim? Because I should want to put him away…" with every statement, both Alex's composure and voice wavered.

Olivia set Alex's phone by the window, wrapping an arm around her. "Because nobody deserves to have that happen to them."

Alex leaned into her. "I was...13 weeks when he...decided that pushing me against an upstairs banister repeatedly was the kind of rough I liked. When I tried to pull away, I fell down 14 stairs. Head over feet. He just...stood there, like I'd done something wrong," she said, wrapping her arms around her, head in the brunette's neck, trembling as she cried.

"Alex…" she whispered, holding her tightly. They stayed like that for a long time before Olivia settled them both on the couch again. "I'm so sorry."

She nodded, leaning into her. "The next morning there was blood. I saw my doctor, even though I already knew there was nothing she could do."

"You didn't go to the ER after falling down 14 stairs? That doesn't sound like you, Alex. Why not get checked out then?"

"He picked me up and carried me to bed. I-I couldn't just go. Like I said, by then, he didn't care about either of us."

Olivia nodded slowly. "How long ago was this?"

"Four days ago. I left my ring on the dresser, didn't tell him where I was going. I just panicked."

"Was the baby...consensual?"

Alex nodded, tearing up again. "And that makes this so much worse. I was tired of being alone. Scared. So I showed up on your doorstep."

Olivia nodded, kissing her head. "What does he do?"

She wiped her eyes. "Small claims court. He doesn't know I've worked here. He doesn't know about anything here."

"Okay."

"Look, I'm sorry for just showing up," she said as she stood abruptly. "I don't want to put you or Noah in danger. I-I'll find somewhere."

Olivia stood too, gently taking her hand. "Alex, please stay."

"But you, your son-"

She cut her off, hugging her tightly. "It's alright. It's alright, Alex. Please stay."

Alex nodded, sitting back down with her.

"Do you think he'll figure out where you are and come looking for you?" Olivia asked.

She nodded again. "My profession is on public record. It's a matter of when."

"Why did it take you four days? Why not call right away?"

The blonde sighed, resting against her again. "There was nothing you could've done and it honestly took me a few days to figure out what to do."

"I read a few of what he sent. What do you expect to happen?"

"I don't know. I knew I needed to leave."

Olivia nodded, kissing her head. "Are you tired, hungry, thirsty?"

"Tired. Still hurts…" she said, curling into the brunette.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her. "Then sleep. We can stay right here."

"...Liv?"

"Yes Alex?"

"I did want it. Just not with him…"

"Life has a funny way of working out sometimes," she said, pulling a blanket over them.