"Mister fucking Lister!"

The Golden Flower tea skims the edges of Aofil's cup as they bend down to pick the newspaper up with a huge smile stretching over their lips. Not a drop is spilled though, their cup wouldn't allow it. Aofil flicks the fold straight, and their smile grows even wider.

"Long time no damn see!"

Now this is how you start a morning!

Aofil ogles the list as they head through their kitchen. "Ten tips for moving into the Monster City!" shouts the list's title with pride in overflowing galore. Mister Lister has gotten a few more gray hairs, some more slick lines to show his tenacity and dedication to his craft.

And what a craft it is!

One of the reasons actually caught Aofil by surprise.

"Bring your own toilet!" advises reason number six. "As Monster City is still under construction, there still are homes where you can put in an order for plumbing compatible with toilets. If that isn't the case, then bringing your own toilet will just require it to be connected instead of waiting for more deliveries. Prices may rise as more and more humans move, so making sure that you have one will give you relief when you need relief."

Maybe Aofil should corner the market? They could very likely get either Toriel or Asgore to advertise their line. Perhaps even Frisk? Toilets approved by the Royal Family! Feel the warmth of the Delta Rune every single time you sit down. A throne approved by a butt familiar with golden thrones!

Some good slogans. Shame to have them go to waste.

Aofil almost snorts their tea as they chuckle at their own joke. The cup in their hand stabilizes in the last second, keeping all the tea inside.

The sun is quite calm this morning. Not blazing hot, not slacking off behind some cloud somewhere. Just pleasant. Aofil seats themselves in one of their sun chairs that's resting silently on the patio fence. A whir starts underneath them.

"Don't," they state firmly as to keep it silent. The whir dies off with a whimper, but Aofil's desensitized to it enough now that they pay it no mind. Would be nice if they could detach the magical gizmo so that they wouldn't have to tell it to stop every single time, but for some weird reasons monster screws feature a different head than human ones.

The gizmo is also structurally integral, so even if Aofil had the right head they would be wrong in their own head if they were to remove it.

And programming the gizmo to be opt in instead of opt out takes quite a bit of time to program, according to Alphys, according to Undyne.

Aofil has learned by now not to use them when playing poker with the monsters. At least after they struggled out of their chair after folding a bad hand.

Which they're sure is also a major reason as to why Undyne seems so keen not to have Alphys start with the reprogramming.

Still to this day they keep finding new things that Alphys tinkered with inside their house. Yesterday it was the fire fork, and today was one of their books! Aofil has been trying to figure out when she did it. When she found the time to install all these magical enhancements. Be it when she moved their house to Monster City, or was it before? Maybe she has one machine that does it all for her? Aofil don't know, and it's annoying them, which in turn worries the stuff in their house, which in turn annoys Aofil further! They just have to catch her alone without Undyne nearby to wave it off and wink audibly.

"Why do you want to ruin the surprises you get every single morning, Aofil?" she always asks with a plastered grin that's brimming with mischief.

And speaking of Undyne.

"Morning, Aofil!" she yells from her yard with her hand waving like she's impersonating a windscreen wiper. Aofil waves back to her, as if cleaning away what the wiper missed. "Wanna work out after breakfast?" she asks while rolling her shoulder.

Not usual of her to actually ask. Most of the time...All the time, it's more of a firm statement that's been set in stone because she carved it in with a spear of hers. Normally with some anticipated laughing accompanying the grinding sound of her magic chiseling stone.

So why ask now? Does she have something planned? Well, something more planned? The curiosity is pulling at Aofil, but they have a few other things pulling the other way this morning.

A couple of loose planks and the such sit rather askew from when Aofil's house walked over to the lot it's currently sitting on. The lawn has just now started to set around it, and it's already been a handful of weeks now. A very busy handful of weeks.

Not only to get through the day while being startled constantly by more and more appliances and, what would be in any other house, common household objects sprouting legs and bouncing with excitement at the prospect of being used. Each startled blurb from Aofil awoke another, so they gasped again, and so, and so on.

The drop was when Aofil would wake up with half their kitchen bouncing eagerly on their bed, with a drop of hot tea crashing against their forehead.

And then their bed would lean over worryingly when they flew out of it screaming and flailing for their life.

"It woke you right up, right?" was the explanation Undyne offered in Alphys' stead, along with a healthy laugh. So much so that she lost her breath.

"Sleep in the bed you made, ey Undyne?"

Is what Aofil figured out they should've said the day after as they showered Their loud curse and dragged out sigh summoned every pair of pink robotic legs within earshot distance.

Which meant every single object in their house.

And also their house.

Suddenly Aofil was on the wall. The temperature gauge flicked to the coldest setting as Aofil fell on it, which didn't really help the situation. Fortunately for Aofil, their startled "Stop!" was just as loud as their dramatic lament, and the house resettled. Not without bending a few more planks out of order. Even a few at the front of the house!

"Don't be alarmed by magic," advises tip number eight. "If you're not familiar with magic, suddenly being surrounded by it might be strange at first. Unsettling, even. However, keep in mind that magic between monsters can be as strange as magic between monsters and humans. You will get used to it, and there are programs available in Monster City to help ease you, should you feel the need."

Aofil wonders if they should call an ambulance on the account that Mister Lister hit his head right on the nail there.

And speaking of nails, Aofil should probably look around the house to see if there exists a package after breakfast.

"Aofil! An answer?"

Oh yeah, Undyne's still waving, albeit a bit more perplexed now. Aofil throws a thumb over their shoulder towards the loose planks at the foundation of their house.

"Not today, sorry!" Aofil shouts back. "Need to fix up some planks that were ripped up."

"I can help with that!" comes an eager answer. "I don't have a lot on the agenda today either! Besides working out and finally finishing season three of Mew Mew with Alphee, that is!"

"Sounds like you got the day fully booked then!"

A spear fizzles out just before crossing into Aofil's lawn. "You want my help or not?"

Why not? Aofil could use an extra pair of hands. "I'm just gonna finish my breakfast then!"

"Call me over!" Undyne shouts as she drags a bench along with some dumbbells out from her shed.

"Will do! Don't tire yourself out though!"

"Ha!" she scoffs loudly, almost shattering the windows on her house. "As if!"

Aofil returns to their breakfast. They pick up their spoon to indulge in their bowl of cereal. The spoon whirs excitingly, and Aofil sighs with equal magnitude of tiredness.

"Bring me a normal one," they ask of their spoon before gently tossing it through the opened kitchen window. They hold out their hand as they wait for their delivery. After some rustling from inside the kitchen, the motorized spoon brings Aofil one that won't shake the milk out of it from its eagerness to serve.

Aofil still tests it, just to be sure. "I'm very hungry," they say. The spoon in their hand stays still, but the one now beside them starts jumping for joy.

"The dishes, please," Aofil wishes to the eager spoon. "Work some of that excess energy off you."

It's not all downsides with having an army of things that do your bidding, Aofil can admit as much. They haven't done dishes or laundry the entire time they've been here! It's even better than when Aofil would do those chores themselves. So for as much as they can sigh heavily at waking up to a kettle dropping hot tea on them in their bed, they can sigh with relief as they see their house and clothes cleaned without hassle.

Not that Aofil would let Alphys, or Undyne for that matter, know about that.

"Monsters are social creatures," tip number nine states. "Some are still adapting to having space to stretch out their limbs, and social boundaries. It's advisable to show how comfortable you are as early as possible, more so than with humans."

What has happened with Mister Lister? Has he been following Aofil around, or something? He seems to have moved to Monster City as well, judging by his short bio at the bottom of the list. Whether or not he's doing double duty for human and monster papers, producing list upon list as diligent as ever, if not more, that Aofil can only guess at. He's definitely gotten better though, that much Aofil can give him.

Along with a round of applause for being correct for the first time, at least for Aofil. It's nice to see him doing well for himself. Another human that's found help in Monster City.

Aofil taps their finger for a while on the paper before folding it aside them. They didn't really plan to remind themselves this early in the morning. It's not a lot, but it's like the lonely cloud in the distance. Just a small one, Aofil's pinky finger is enough to completely block it.

It's there though.

It's because of it that it is not a cloudless day. Not enough that it should cause any worry for rain, but still does. Still makes Aofil aware that it is there, even though they're fully aware that it won't be pouring like the Waterfall anytime soon.

But as Aofil lift up their pinky finger to cover the white stain on the blue canvas that is the sky, they replace one fluffy white phenomena in their field of view with another fluffy white phenomena.

Aofil blows a small speck of black, something, out of their fur. Finishing off with a glancing brush.

Soft as always, happily bright as always, warm as always.

There as always.

Aofil concludes that they don't need to groom it more at the moment. When they return their arm to scooping cereal, they think they see the cloud getting just a little bit larger.

But not in a way that would have them seek shelter. Not in a way that would have them reach for an umbrella, not even a pout because the paint they're about to apply might drip away.

Aofil's started on that journey now. Started walking away from all that. The first step was hard, unbelievably hard, but they're on their way now.

They've no idea when they'll reach the end, if there even is an end.

But they know that they have friends that will help them, even if they'll never reach it.

Now that Aofil's discovered that they're done with their breakfast, why not wave one of them over?

"Just gonna brush my teeth and then I'll get going on the planks!" Aofil informs Undyne with a quick shout.

"Just! One! More! Set!" she answers before hauling an irresponsibly amount of plates over her chest.

Aofil leaves her to her grunting as they head inside with their bowl. They slid it into the water filled sink where it's taken care of by the animate spoon. Aofil then heads up the stairs into the upstairs bathroom where they make sure to take the toothbrush that won't extend an arm to brush their tongue without them asking.

With the, only, hand powered brush in their mouth, Aofil fetches some old clothes from an adjacent room. They scour through some striped clothing, stopping short to think if they should donate them all away since they're child sized.

To a city far away where none of the Dreemurrs have a chance to find a child wearing it is probably the safest bet. Aofil will look into that later though, it's not a priority. The sweaters have been there for a while without any problems, so what is a little while longer?

Aofil finally spots an old and weathered long sleeved shirt that stretches over their fur. Peeling paint off skin is a chore, so getting it out of fur must be a nightmare. Some equally weathered jeans that are not really their fit are excavated as well. Quite loose, must've been their dad's old pair. Dots of old and dried paint litter the trousers, so if anything Aofil is keeping up tradition with them.

Should they get some clothes for Undyne as well? Does paint stick to her scales as badly as it does skin? Better safe than sorry, Aofil concludes. Worst case scenario is her not wearing, and Aofil's pretty sure they can live with that.

Will she wear an old shirt with the slogan "Mt. Ebott Monster Mania" though? An old Halloween souvenir. Aofil's quite surprised that either their mom or their dad bought one, considering all that happened. The date on the shirt is a handful of years after Chara fell, so maybe they were over it enough by that time?

It doesn't look used though, as if only bought, and immediately discarded at the bottom of this casket of clothes.

Anyways, Undyne will have to be the judge whether or not she wants to wear it. Another pair of stained jeans as well.

With their teeth freshly cleaned, Aofil whistles down the stairs, and out their patio door. Undyne is already there, stretching while she waits.

"'Sup, Aof!" she greets with her arms bent as far over and behind her head as possible. "Enjoying the show?"

"Why don't you take it off?"

Her head snaps forward. "What?"

"So that you don't stain your gym clothes," Aofil adds. They bounce the shirt and jeans in their arms. "Paint is annoying to clean off."

"Ah!" she exhales with relief. "I though you were-"

"Yes," Aofil confirms as they hand over Undyne's clothes. "I phrased it like that because I wanted to see your reaction."

Undyne chuckles. "You wish."

It's only after a couple of steps when Undyne notices the slogan on her shirt. The jeans Aofil brought her are a bit too long for her, and she almost immediately stumbles forwards. While bending down to roll up the excess pants over her ankles, she catches glimpse of the words on her torso.

"Monster Mania?" she reads out loud with her brow lowered. "When did you buy this, Aofil?"

"My parents did. I think it has something to do with a Halloween event. What with the pumpkin in the middle of the circle."

Undyne bends her head around as she tries to get a better look at it. "Mt. Ebott Monster Mania!" she reads again, now with her brow extended almost as high as her head. "What was it about?"

Aofil wonders if they should let her have this one. She sounds so excited about it! Although, if she finds out…

"Don't know," they answer her. "Was nothing to do with you though, I'm afraid. Probably just some generic slogan for some generic Halloween event."

"I see."

Ouch, that stings. Her disappointed sigh of an acknowledgment cuts through Aofil like an icy gust. They know something that will cheer her up though. "Can you summon a saw with your magic? Don't think the teeth of mine are that sharp. Haven't sharpened them in a while."

Undyne's smile expose a set of very sharp teeth clenched in excitement. "Sure can!" She flexes her wrist towards Aofil, and a cyan saw is thrown to them. Aofil catches the handle, and steps out of the way as it swings like a pendulum towards their body. Once they have it under control, Aofil taps one of the teeth on the crackling saw. It pricks their finger, but not enough to draw blood.

"Nice!" they complement.

"You expected something less?" comes a reply sent with a healthy amount of snark. Like this?

The saw shrinks into a butter knife, and Undyne chuckles to herself.

"What good is all your training for if you can't even maintain a saw with your magic, Undyne?" Aofil wonders with the knife pointing accusingly towards Undyne. "Looks like you've been slacking!"

Undyne folds her arms over her chest. "Is that so, human?" she asks with a challenging grin stretching across her face. "I could summon a hundred saws and not even feel it! The only reason I am not is because you," Undyne forms a spear in her hand that she uses to tap Aofil on their chest, "couldn't handle it. You only have two arms, human."

"A hundred?" Aofil blurts out. They can't believe that!

"Yup!"

So few? "Only a hundred?"

"Alright!" Undyne throws her arm out, and after a very dramatic and over the top implosion of energy that sends out a shock wave that knocks some dandruff out of Aofil's hair, a bright blue saw with an almost uncountable amount of teeth takes root in Undyne's hand. She spins it around her finger while clenching her other fist before her. "Show me where those planks are, human! I will make them into toothpicks."

"I'd rather you didn't, actually."

Undyne drops her shoulders and she exhales an annoyed grunt with her head bent backwards. "Why, Aofil?"

"And also, the teeth on your saw are gonna slice instead of saw through the wood if they're so many and so small."

Undyne complies, reluctantly, and her saw changes its smile akin to hers as she walks over to the pile of planks next to Aofil's patio. "How big?"

"I've already measured one up, so if you could do the others in the same length that would be great. If you do them all in one swoop I'll be impressed."

Undyne scoffs as she starts to pile the planks up on each other. "You're very easily impressed, you know that?"

"Big talk coming from someone who hasn't done what she boasts that she can do!"

A loud, violent, almost grotesque sound, emerges from Undyne putting her summoned saw at the top of the pile of planks, and forcing it through them all with one rapid swoop of her arm. A smell of smoke hits Aofil's nose, and they turn around to see Undyne reaching her arm into the kitchen window.

"Let go!" she commands the spoon fighting desperately to keep a pot filled with foaming water inside the house. She swats the spoon away with the back of her hand, and hurries back with the half cleaned pot in her hands to the tower of planks.

"Did they catch fire?" Aofil asks while making their way around to the short end where Undyne's squatted down at.

"Nope!" she informs quickly. No need for Aofil to see. Not at all! She deliberately takes the other way around the planks so that she accidentally bumps into Aofil with the pot.

"It smelt like burning, Undyne."

"I wouldn't know!" she laughs while tapping where her nose should be if she had one.

With a quick throw of their finger, Aofil indicates towards the spoon in the window staring viciously should it have eyes. "And you've upset my spoon."

"Eh!" Undyne blows her lips and shakes her head at that, frankly, incredibly silly notion. "It doesn't have emotions."

"You keep saying that," Aofil follows Undyne with their eyes as she dumps the pot back into the sink with a splash, "yet, I keep finding more and more reasons stating the complete opposite!"

Undyne whipping her head around knocks the spoon into the sink as well as it's hit by her hair. "Ngahahaha! You're kidding, right? If that's so, then what would you reckon your house would do if I told it off?"

Undyne gives the foundation of Aofil's house a kick. "Hey!" she yells to it while knocking hard at its wall with her fist. "Your corners look they were made out of cheap plastic!"

The intro theme to Mew Mew season one startles Alphys out of her concentration. She reaches over to answer. "Alphys here!"

She immediately recoils the phone from her ear as loud yelling and even louder creeks of wood almost blast her head off.

"Alphys," says Aofil while trying their best at reducing the battle behind them, "Undyne angered my house, what's the emergency shutdown that you promised to tell me yet never did?"

"..."

"I'm serious, Alphys!"

"Y-you have to follow your shut down command with 'please, and very much thank you' for it to shut down."

Aofil disconnects the call.

"Shut down, please, and very much thank you!" they shout…at...their...house.

Oh god dammit…

Undyne turns around sheepishly as the house settles down into the ground. She taps her knuckle against her lip for a minute or so before finally speaking. "I'll admit that it was partly me to blame-"

"Partly?"

"Yes...a big part," she agrees while scratching the back of her head. "But, maybe you should've asked it to turn back around before saying that, Aofil?"