a/n: This story is my friendly wink towards a few of our Labyrinth fanon tropes. ;-)

"Taboo"

Chapter 1: REUNION

Sarah rammed the shovel into the snow and dragged a mitten across her runny nose. Maine winters were brutal, and it didn't help that she was stuck clearing Mr. Pearson's driveway for an entire week. Why couldn't the senile old man have just taken her money, damn it, instead of dredging up this old school punishment for running over his mailbox!

Six years post-Labyrinth and life still wasn't fair: Sarah had no degree, no dream job, and no boyfriend because Maine weather meant being styled like a frigging snowman. The twenty-one-year-old sighed. "Ugh, I wish this stupid driveway would just clear itself."

The morning sun winked over the rooftops. The white frosted neighborhood lit up like a disco ball.

Sarah squinted against the glare, regretting not bringing her sunglasses, but when her eyes adjusted, to her surprise the snow that she had been shoveling was gone. It had simply disappeared!

"Hello, Sarah."

She squawked. Whirling as fast as a snowman could, she came face to face with... another snowman. With eyebrows like the Goblin King. And a coffee.

It was the Goblin King, standing casually on the icy sidewalk, swathed in layers, holding a coffee.

Sarah squawked again.

And then started cursing every single ancestor she could think of before moaning, "Why, why, why, why -"

"I'm asking myself that right now, actually?" snowman Goblin King drawled in amusement. He jumped when Sarah swung her shovel at him.

"No! You don't get to laugh! You ruined it!"

"Pray tell what I could have possibly ruined within five seconds of us meeting each other?"

"The 'meeting each other' bit! Our reunion! You're supposed to appear in my bedroom. Wearing the Sinful Pants. And I was supposed to be like, emotionally distraught or something and draped in a revealing nightie, not friggin' galoshes!"

The woman dropped the shovel and dry sobbed into her snot-crusted mittens. This whole situation was taboo, terribly taboo. There were some things a person just shouldn't do. Ruining her reunion years after the dark, surreal fantasy adventure of her youth was one of them.

Looking awkward, the Goblin King offered her his coffee. "I had thought that this time you'd prefer a normal greeting sans snakes, but since it appears you have some far-fetched fantasies about me..."

Sarah accepted the proffered cup and sipped from it. She blearily eyed the king over the rim. "Do you still have the pants?"

"Indeed." His eyes gleamed under his hat.

Sarah sniffed. "Eight tonight at my place then. I need some time to pack."

"You don't want me to surprise you again?"

Handing back the coffee, the former champion smiled. "Who said anything about me being the one surprised?"