I've been binging on virtual YouTuber lately and thought which watamote most likely to join a virtual idol agency.

What? Why? Why Am I popular? For real? That's strange!

It'd probably sound really stupid if I said those words out loud, so I don't. Still, I almost did. Seeing so many people trying to speak to me at the same time through a tiny screen feels very...novel.

"Wow, you're really trying to bullrush me in my own show, huh?" says a certain pink dyed girl gallivanting in front of a propped phone camera rigged to Live2D app, her every movement mimicked by an animated bust of a cute fairy princess on my screen.

"I'm just saying that just because a show has a dark undertone doesn't always mean the director is an edgy teenager with a delusion of grandeur, certain messages just can't be conveyed through a moeblob animeshow."

The chat box on my screen immediately goes nuts.

HEAR YE HEAR YE

THIS KURONEKO GIRL HAVE GOT SOME TASTE

YOU SHOULD LEARN FROM HER, ROCHAMA

I reel back from the nicknames used for me and Nemo. I should've insisted on picking my own name at least.

"Well, not in this case." Nemo says in her artificial cutesy voice, which clashes heavily with the contempt in her tone. But I've been told that this 'angry rough girl in the form of a prim princess' is part of her shtick. "The murders and tortures are just gratuitous with no meaning behind it at all, characters make a lot of unexplainably stupid decisions, and even if they were planning on putting some sort of message behind the vapid plot, all sense of wisdom got buried thoroughly under the terrible pacing and dialogs."

THIS IS FAIR

I ALWAYS STICK WITH ROSE-SAMA, SHE HAS THE BEST OPINION

"Oh, good. We have a civil war in the chat." I say, exasperated. "Why did you want me here anyway?" I add almost as an aside.

"Well, you said you were interested in the streaming world, so I thought I should do a good deed once in a while since I needed an admin anyway. I didn't expect people to want you to make your own show, however."

KUROLIVE WHEN

I honestly don't know what to say. My old self would've done something terribly embarrassing by now, but I am somehow only feeling a hint of disturbing anxiety at the back of my head right now.

"Hm, maybe I should go for it." I say half jokingly.

"It's not as easy as it looks, you know." Nemo says, almost sounding offended.

"I am aware. I am not that naive."

I used to be that naive, but now I know better than trying to do something beyond my capabilities and then blame society when I inevitably fail. Nemo has done an amazing thing without my knowledge, building up quite a decent fan base even as she prepares for graduation. Even if she apparently did get some help from some sort of agency, I have no intention to try to diminish her achievement with my pettiness.

"You just thought of something incredibly self defeating, didn't you?"

"What?"

"You just thought that 'even if I try, I'm just going to fail', didn't you?"

My mouth got sealed. Among all the girls I know, Nemo is definitely a unique existence. Sometimes I think she's actually reading my mind.

"You know, you won't get anywhere in life with that kind of attitude."

"I'm advancing life at a very satisfactory pace, thank you very much."

Nemo makes a devious grin that makes me really uncomfortable.

"Maybe you should try it."

"What?"

"I have one of the best communities on the internet. I'm sure they'll go easy on you."

"I-"

I'm barely able to voice my objection before my screen explodes into a wall of text.

DOITDOITDOITDDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOIt

Why do they like me this much anyway? All I did was insulting their idol's favorite anime.

I'M AMERICAN AND WE HAVE THIS GUY CALLED AVGN THAT THIS GIRL REMINDS ME OF. SHE'S JUST SO GLORIOUSLY IRRITATED ALL THE TIME LOL

SHE SOUNDS VERY EARNEST, NO?

HOT-BLOODEDLY PRECOCIOUS

VERY IZUMI KITTA LIKE YEA?

Ah, so that's why.

"Come on, why don't you start with an introduction."

"Hello, I am Kuro, I'm just your usual kimo-ota useless layabout." I say without a doubt.

"Now, that's not something you'd say to your friends, is it."

"I wouldn't know. I don't have any normal friends."

"What about me then?" Nemo says, sounding genuinely confused.

"You are kind of insane."

"How?"

"Talking with you always feels like you'd bury me in your basement alive, but then you'd feel bad about it and proceed to cry for the next two weeks."

"That is strangely specific."

SHE'S NOT WRONG

YOU ARE OUR DEAR PSYCHOPATH PRINCESS

"Aww, thanks guys." Nemo says, not hiding her irritation behind her cutesy voice. "Well, since you're so adamant on getting your introduction wrong, I think I'm just going to do it properly for you."

"Wait, what?"

"You see, Kuro here is actually kind of a slut."

The shock of suddenly being called a slut is almost drowned by the bizarre feeling brought by the fact that I'm hearing it from the mouth of a cute anime girl on my monitor.

"Have you ever read a harem manga? No, not the good ones. Those cheap painful ones with a main character that's oblivious to all the girls pining for him, and with said main character being so terrible that you have no idea why anyone wants to be his friend let alone girlfriend? Yeah, that's basically Kuro."

"I am not. If you're gonna lie could you at least try something less far fetched?"

"See? Oblivious protagonist. Her life was just like a shitty story. Actually, she went to a hotel just a few days ago with a bunch of girls…"

OH

ITS YURI

HOMOLIVE FLASHBACK

"I've heard that her favorite girl is an oneesan type with big breasts."

"Context!" I shout. "And she isn't a big sister type! She's a mother type with decent sized breasts-ah."

I close my mouth too late.

KURO IS A WOMAN OF TASTE

MILFMILFMILFMILFMILF

"Yeah, Kuro is the type of person that'd probably end up a trophy wife for a rich lesbian, even if she really isn't that pretty."

Okay, now I'm kinda pissed.

"Say one more word and I'll-"

Nemo smiles before I can finish my word. The goosebump is enough to freeze my tongue.

"What? You'll kiss me?" she says with a grin, and the chat erupts.

DO IIIIIIIIIIIIT

YURIFICATIONYURIFICATION

TEETEE MOMENT

I walked right into that one huh? The amount of pressure coming out of the screen almost push me to actually do it. Peer pressure is terrifying.

Fortunately I know that Nemo is all bark.

"You know, maybe I'll do it."

"H-huh?" Nemo reels back, clearly flustered.

"I notice you're wearing a new chapstick today. were you perhaps expecting this outcome?"

"W-wha.."

Seeing Nemo all flustered makes me think that all those makeup lessons with Katou-san was worth it.

"Well, I...I mean…" she tries to hide her blush behind a smile, and failing miserably. "I think, if it's you...I probably wouldn't mind…"

"I'm just joking."

"H-huh?"

"Yeah, like i'd actually do that. I'm not that desperate."

I turn my attention back to the screen, ready to leave this shenanigan behind and proceed with the stream.

BIG OOF

I ACTUALLY FELT THAT

LOL KURO-SAN, DO YOU EVEN LIKE GIRLS

I chuckled a bit. Of course not. As I've said, not that desperate.

...

I look at Nemo.

She's sulking.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say she's actually angry that she didn't get to kiss me.

…

Now that I look at her closely, the way she's pouting away from me like that...isn'nt she kinda cute?

That chapstick really does look nice…

Can it be that I...actually like girls?

"Pfft!" I snorted, blowing away such ridiculous notion.

"No way." I say as I move on with the stream, waiting for Nemo to recover.

LAST-BOSS TIER CLOSET