Sokka was slumped at the table like his sadness over Yue was a weight pressing down on him. Aang was lying exhausted on his bed as Katara went about making breakfast. Aang went right back to sleep after he'd eaten, and she tucked him in. She convinced Sokka to come out and help her assess the damage and rebuild the city. He always liked being occupied and she thought sitting alone in the dark wasn't the best idea for her brother right now.

Sokka was put on the recovery expeditions to all the Fire Nation wreckage in the bay. The tribe was salvaging items that could be useful, and Sokka knew his way around a Fire Nation ship. It was a grim job, but Sokka agreed without protest.

Katara was given the job of filling in the holes and craters caused by the bombardments. They were smoothing the walls and making them stronger. She also liked being occupied when she was out of sorts. She gave the task her full attention, because anything was better than thinking about that stupid idiot right now. She started shoving the snow and ice into the holes with great alacrity.

Take that, wall!

She finished her sections quicker than others. Nukka suggested that she might be more use down by the front barrier wall, as that had taken the most damage. The front wall was the most difficult to fix. The masters in Orca Group were assigned that job. Katara knew that Nukka meant this as a compliment.

She went down, glad to have another job. She was still angry. She needed to give the idiot a good long time to feel really bad about what an idiot he was. She was planning on going back in there and just shouting at him for the rest of their lives. He was going to hear such a rant! She wasn't going to kiss him for at least a week! Between the ranting, she was going to cold shoulder him so much he'd need an extra parka.

But then he'd be so sad. He'd make that face at her, like a kicked baby seal. He was probably making that face right now. She'd left him all alone in such a dreadful place. She tried to push away her feelings of worry and concern and guilt about the idiot.

No, she wasn't going to feel bad for locking him in that awful place.

The worst thing was that no one was worried about the fact that he hadn't been in his cell this morning. No one was looking for him or even mentioning him. He'd been so sure about the tribe killing him, but obviously they would have just let him be. It made her want to groan in frustration. All of that had been so unnecessary!

Why did she have such an over-dramatic boyfriend who always jumped to the worst conclusions and did stupid things as a result?

Was this Tui and La's punishment for their frolicking in the oasis? Was she cursed to love him no matter how stupid he could be?

Sokka came back around lunchtime. They took a break together, sitting on the newly rebuilt wall with the other benders. Arnook, Pakku and Hahn came past to check on their progress. They wanted to know what Sokka had found. Sokka said that they had been able to salvage lots of useful items from the boats that were only partially sunk, and handed over an itemised list. He'd always been a big fan of lists.

Hahn took a step closer to Sokka. Katara moved to place herself between that jerk and her brother. Hahn was the last person Sokka needed to see right now. The top secret mission had been cancelled when they found out their disguises were no good. Hahn had been bitching about having his "glory" stolen by Sokka extensively since then.

"Any uniforms?" Hahn asked.

"No. We didn't find any," Sokka replied.

"Well, you're just not looking hard enough," Hahn said crossly.

"Hahn, this is hardly the time to be taking that tone with our most respected southern guest," Arnook admonished. "What do we need Fire Nation uniforms for now? They are hardly going to try attacking us again after such a resounding defeat."

Arnook had lost his daughter. He was still trying to keep it together in front of everyone to help keep morale up. But his sorrow and his anger crept into his bitter tone. You could hear it when he spoke.

"The firebender laughed at me for wearing the old one," Hahn spat, and Katara felt her gut clench at the way he mentioned Zuko. "He said they're so old that they are only in museums in the Fire Nation. We may need more uniforms in the future." He smacked his palm with his other fist soundly as he spoke. "We should never again underestimate how vicious the Fire Nation is."

"If you want new uniforms so badly, maybe you can come on the boats with us and look," Sokka replied, sounding miffed. "Not much good it'll do you. We didn't even find any bodies for you to steal from anyway."

Pakku's tone was matter of fact. "Well, we won't find any bodies either. We saw the Ocean Spirit take all the fighters that were in the town. It's safe to assume that most of the men from the Fire Nation fleet are also at the bottom of the ocean now."

"The Ocean Spirit cleansed us of their filth," Arnook said. "It could sense their savage bending and dragged them all down. No less than they deserved after what they did to the moon, and my Yue..." His voice broke and his face was raw with grief.

Pakku placed a hand on his shoulder and led him away. Hahn followed. The warriors from Orca Group were solemn and silent for a few moments after that display of emotion from their chief.

"I feel a bit bad for Zuko, though," Sorak, one of the benders, piped up to break the silence like a sledgehammer. "He was alright for a firebender. He didn't deserve to go out like that."

Katara felt her heart stop.

There was a murmur of agreement from the other warriors. Men Katara only knew from descriptions of their jewellery were saying things like, "Poor bastard" and "Hope it was quick for him."

Sorak looked at the others, emboldened by the murmurs of agreement. He smiled sadly. "I'll never forget the way Hahn's feet went up over his head when that bastard crash tackled him. Just seems sad to me that he got taken out with the rest of his people."

A horrible realisation settled in Katara's stomach like a stone. That was why no one had been looking for him? They thought the Ocean Spirit had drowned him with the others.

Katara exchanged an alarmed look with Sokka.

"I think somebody should say something," Sorak said, then prodded Kuruk.

Kuruk was the oldest and seemed to be their unofficial leader. All the Orca Class warriors looked expectantly at him. Kuruk hated talking in public. Pakku had once said his reluctance to do so was why Kuruk had never advanced to a proper leadership role. Kuruk glanced at Katara and Sokka, then sighed before standing up and going to the edge of the wall.

"La, Great Ocean Spirit, we give you Zuko," Kuruk said gruffly as he looked over the newly repaired walls and into the ocean. "He was a stubborn, grumpy, sarcastic firebender, but he wasn't a bad kid."

Sokka stood up at that moment. He made an excuse for them really rapidly, sounding a little distressed, and pulled Katara to her feet. They walked a distance until they were alone on the walls.

"Frozen hell! Zuko!" Sokka's eyes were wide. "I was so focussed on Yue, I didn't even think."

"Sokka, he's okay. I left him deep enough in the pit. The Ocean Spirit wouldn't have got him," Katara said, trying to sound certain.

That had to be what happened. He was still there, she was sure. She still had to shout at him. There was a lot she wanted to say to him. She had a whole speech planned.

"I'll go check on him now," she said, feeling an overwhelming urgency to see her idiot. She bitterly regretted not checking on him this morning. She'd wanted to give him the cold shoulder, but that seemed so petty now.

"Bring him back to the house when you get him. It'd be fine now. No one is looking for him."

She nodded and ran as fast as she could until her chest hurt. Worry built up in her belly, which only increased when she found the entrance wide open. All of her ice had melted. There was no way that Zuko could have melted all that. Not in a morning. It would have been nothing to the Ocean Spirit, she thought with dread.

She ran down into the tunnel she'd left him in.

It was empty.

At first she simply didn't believe it. She refused to believe it. She told herself he might be hiding from her in one of the other tunnels. She checked them all, her panic rising the whole time. This wasn't happening. She'd find him any moment now. There hadn't been a single sign of him, except the slightly melted ice around where she had first created the barrier. He'd been trying to escape, even though it would have been futile.

Cold horror washed over her.

What had she done?

She'd trapped him in here. The realisation shattered her heart into tiny pieces inside her chest.

Then Ocean Spirit would have surged into the frozen pit. It had taken all the firebenders, after all. It could just sense them, Arnook had said. This place would have filled up with water and he wouldn't have been able to do anything. It would have been awful for him.

He was a strong swimmer. He'd saved her brother from drowning in the middle of storm. He was such a fighter. He never gave up. But the awful truth settled like a cold, hard lump in her belly. Not even Zuko could fight the ocean.

He was gone.

And it was all her fault!

She climbed up the entrance to the canal where he would have gone in. She plunged her hands into the frigid water and reached out with her bending to the full extent. Maybe she could find him and bring him back up to the surface.

Maybe it wasn't too late.

She could do that Fire Nation trick, the kiss of life. She'd simply kiss him and he'd come back to her. She started praying to Tui and La. If the ocean would give him back, she'd never be angry at him again, she promised. Her heart twisted to think that the last thing she'd ever said to him was that she never wanted to see him again. It hadn't been true at all, but it seemed that La was holding her to that all the same.

"I'm only sixteen, Katara. I don't want to die here."

She walked back into the central chamber of the frozen pit and looked around at the unforgiving ice, dropped to her knees, and sobbed. She wailed her misery, regret and heartbreak into the pit.

It had always been a place of despair.

-o-

Pakku had taken Arnook to Yugoda, thinking that a calming conversation with their master healer could help his friend. But Yugoda was run off her feet and there was no calming conversation to be had in the healing house. It was packed to the brim with injured warriors. His men had been well trained and ready. Their casualties had been significantly less than they expected, but it still made for a crowded healing house the day after battle.

Yugoda demanded he send Katara up. "Whatever you've got her doing, she's more useful here."

Pakku could see the sense in this. Pakku made his way back to the barrier walls, only to find Katara strangely absent. It wasn't like her to shirk her duty. He asked Kuruk where she had gone.

"She went off with her brother when we started talking about Zuko," Kuruk explained. "I think they were sad about their friend."

Pakku walked off, feeling worried now. He checked the oasis and found it empty. He checked their house and found the Avatar sleeping in an exhausted slumber. Aang was roused by Pakku poking him sharply with the tip of his boot, but the boy fell promptly back to sleep a moment later. Pakku continued on. There were so many jobs that needed his attention, but Katara was more important. He felt a quiet and unfamiliar worry in his heart.

Finally, he checked the last place he wanted to visit again. He could hear muffled, hopeless sobbing coming faintly from below the entrance. To his eternal shame, this sound coming from the frozen pit was not unfamiliar. Telling himself that he did not believe in ghosts, and steeling himself against the horrid atmosphere of the place, he stepped into the tunnels. He found Katara at the bottom, arms around her knees, sobbing her heart out.

Pakku felt guilt twist like a koi fish in his belly. He hadn't wanted them together, but he hadn't wished Zuko any harm either. He hadn't wished Katara to feel this kind of sorrow.

Pakku was normally very happy to avoid crying women. He had been told by Yugoda that he only made these situations worse. Still, he wanted to help Katara if he could. Thankfully, she stopped when she heard his footsteps. She stood up and started wiping her face rapidly, trying to compose herself.

"Katara, what are you doing in here?" Pakku asked, aghast.

She had been crying over her boyfriend and chose this dreadful place, out of everywhere, to privately express her grief. Still, this excessive crying kind of proved Pakku's point for him. Their relationship was futile and pointless. It would have always ended like this. She was lucky it ended sooner, before she got too attached. Everyone recovered from heartbreak eventually. It just took time, in Pakku's experience.

Katara was young, yet she had all the time in the world to forget him. She'd get another, more suitable boyfriend, he was sure. She had many options. There were plenty more fish in the sea. He was not good with this much female emotion, but he felt that explaining all this logically would help.

Katara listened with an unreadable expression on her face. This worried Pakku. He had normally been able to tell what the girl was thinking. She wore her emotions so readily on her sleeve, but today she seemed numb. The bright, blazing spark had gone out of her eyes.

"I will get back to work now, Pakku," she said, her voice brittle but cold as ice.

She said nothing else to him as she walked past and began climbing towards the entrance. She did not acknowledge that he had just found her crying her eyes out. She barely acknowledged him at all.

She returned to fixing the walls. Pakku found himself following her. At least she was choosing to take her excessive emotions out in a constructive manner now. He congratulated her on this show of maturity, but Katara didn't respond to him. She only glared angrily at him. It reminded Pakku of when he first knew her and tried to make her apologise in the council hall. Somehow, her expression now was worse. It was cold and unrelenting as the tundra in midwinter. Pakku felt the wriggling tendrils of doubt in his mind.

He had made a mistake with Katara somewhere along the way.

Katara repaired the walls with a brutal intensity, forcing the snow into the cracks with such briskness it unnerved Pakku. It was as if the damage to the walls had personally offended her. She resolutely ignored him for the rest of the day.

Pakku understood then that this was his punishment. She would not confide in him now, not after the way he had threatened her boyfriend. This didn't seem fair. He had just been trying to be a good grandfather. It was not Pakku's fault the boy had been killed horribly by the Ocean Spirit not long afterwards! She was going to blame him for it anyway.

She might never forgive him at this rate.

-o-

Sokka was sorting through their things and re-packing everything. His instincts told him they should leave. Katara was practically a master bender now. She could teach Aang on the road. Aang wasn't going to make good progress here anymore, not when surrounded by reminders of the huge amount of crazy spirit rage he'd unleashed.

Sokka didn't want to stay here surrounded by reminders either. Everything he looked at reminded him of Yue. He started looking at his map of the Earth Kingdom and trying to figure out the best way to Omashu. It was better to move forward.

Zuko would be especially keen to get the hell out of this place. They'd have to figure out a way to sneak him on to Appa, and he was going to bitch and moan about whatever plan Sokka came up with for that, but Sokka was a man of his word. He'd promised they'd all leave here together, and now they were.

Katara came back much later. She didn't have Zuko with her. Sokka took one look at her face and very rapidly realised what that meant.

Oh man.

She cried then. Sokka held her until her sobs subsided and tried to keep his own tears under control. It wasn't manly to cry, but he'd lost his girlfriend and his good friend all in the one night. If he were ever allowed, now would be the time, but he needed to be strong for his sister. Only one of them could be a basket case at any given time. He'd had this morning to do that. This evening was evidently Katara's turn.

They tried to be quiet because Aang was still asleep in the next room. The Avatar State always took it out of him. He'd been exhausted for days after the Southern Air Temple incident. Last night was the longest he'd ever been in the Avatar State and he'd done a whole lot more than just throw a tornado tantrum on a hilltop.

Oh jeez. Aang!

Sokka was going to have to tell him.

This would kill him, and Sokka wasn't having anyone else die on him right now.

"We can't tell him," Katara said solemnly.

"We can't just not say anything. Aang is going to notice Zuko's ... not around. He's not that oblivious!"

"If Aang knows what he did while in the Avatar State, it'll just tear him up inside. He loved Zuko, and now Zuko is dead because of him. He won't be able to get over it. He's going to blame himself."

She wasn't wrong.

Sokka had often disagreed with her tendency to shield Aang from the truth and sugar-coat everything. But Sokka was also well acquainted with Aang's tender-hearted, vegetarian, pacifist ways. He'd never want to use the Avatar State again if he knew. As awful as it was, Aang would need to use the Avatar State eventually if they were going to have a hope of ending the war.

"What should we tell Aang then?" Sokka said. "He is going to ask."

"We could just say he got away and he escaped before the battle," Katara said. It seemed like she was deliberately not saying Zuko's name now.

It didn't feel right. Sokka felt like Zuko deserved more from them.

Zuko hadn't thought it was a good idea to unleash crazy-mega-destructive spirit powers in the first place, but he wouldn't even be able to enjoy his I-told-you-so moment. Frozen hell, he wasn't ever going to roll his eyes at Sokka and say, "I fucking told you so" again. He wasn't going to insult Sokka's fighting style, or show Sokka how to knee jab, or make a sarcastic comment about Sokka's hygiene or ... anything ever again. Sokka would never speak to him again.

He'd never even be able to ask Zuko what was really going down during "training" now. Sokka had his suspicions about his two idiots ever since he'd found them training together. Something was askew in Katara's insistence that it was just training. Neither of them was engaged to an arsehole. They were so obviously moon-eyed for each other. Seeing each other every night and "training" surely would have led to … something.

Was Zuko really that awkward at relationship stuff that nothing happened?

Possibly.

Sokka had been his first kiss after all.

Sokka had been hoping to ask him about it, but had been waiting until he could talk to the guy alone. Sokka would have been called a nosy jerk and probably a hedgehog-fucker too, but he knew Zuko would have told him the truth. He'd always been stupidly honest. It was one of the things Sokka had liked best about him.

Sokka couldn't ask Katara now. That would only rub the salt in.

They had both lost the person they were moon-eyed for last night. They needed to have each other's backs, not second guess each other. Katara needed Sokka to help her construct an elaborate parade of lies to protect Aang. She didn't need Sokka to make her feel worse.

Katara wasn't suggesting the parade of lies because she didn't care. She was going to be a giant, moping avalanche of sadness about this, Sokka could already tell. Protecting Aang had always driven her. Still, Sokka thought protecting Aang from knowing this was going to be hard for her. She'd never been good at hiding her feelings when it came to Zuko.

He worried this would come back to bite them in the arse.

-0-

The truth always came out eventually. There was only so long you could dance around a subject and give someone vague non-answers when you were trapped together on a tiny raft with nothing else to do and the person asking you the questions had the determination of his nephew, Iroh lamented.

Zuko had started asking him how he had known Yugoda not long after he got up. He would not be swayed from this topic. Iroh eventually capitulated. He told Zuko maybe a little more than he should have, considering Zuko was uninitiated, but there was only so much Iroh could conceal given all that his nephew had seen.

Also, there was the fact that many of his agents had immediately assumed Zuko was in the White Lotus and revealed delicate pass phrases to his nephew. This was very inconvenient for Iroh.

"So, let me get this straight," Zuko said slowly. "You and Yugoda are in the Secret Old People Flower Friends club and you've know each other for years?"

"We actually don't call it that."

"And the Flower Friends are a super sneaky, secret society that have the vague goal of maintaining balance in the world."

"Balance is crucial," Iroh said sagely.

"And the Flower Friends are all obsessed with Pai Sho, and you use the game as a code to communicate to achieve the goal of maintaining balance. You and Yugoda have been sending each other furtive 'Pai Sho strategies' for years."

"Pai sho is an excellent game, Zuko," Iroh reminded him.

"And every old person who ranted about flowers at me is actually in you secret Flower Friends club?"

"Well, that is most likely. You haven't told me who spoke to you about flowers. It is possible that some of them are just botany enthusiasts."

"Is Pakku one of your flower friends?" Zuko asked, but it sounded like an accusation. Iroh knew they hadn't gotten along.

"Yes …"

Honestly, when Iroh saw Pakku again, they were going to have to have a conversation which Pakku was not going to like.

Zuko thought for a minute before his eyes widened in surprise. "Oh, holy hell! Jeong Jeong as well?"

"Also yes," Iroh said, more proudly this time.

Jeong Jeong was one of his oldest friends. That over-dramatic old curmudgeon had been the one to initiate Iroh and introduce him to the cryptic arts. It had been one of the things that had saved him after losing Lu Ten.

"The innkeeper in that shit-hole town you wanted me to stay in?"

"That town actually has many lovely attractions, which would have kept you busy."

Zuko crossed his arms and scowled in response.

"Yes. Him too," Iroh confirmed.

"The crazy fortune teller? Uncle, did you let a fortune teller into your club?" Zuko sounded aghast.

"I think you already know the answer to that."

Zuko was quiet for a few more moments. Iroh breathed a sigh of relief. It was only four people. He had been half worried that all of his agents in the west coast of the Earth Kingdom had been tripping over themselves to reveal top secret passcodes to his nephew.

"I can't believe you lied to me," Zuko muttered, then looked away from Iroh.

There was a disgruntled silence. Zuko seemed rightly upset that Iroh had been actively concealing so much from him. But he wasn't shouting or stomping about, thank goodness. Stomping would have been very inadvisable given their current predicament on the raft. Still, Iroh had been well acquainted with his nephew's temper and moods. This reaction was quite subdued for him. Perhaps it was because his nephew was clearly so tired.

"Zuko, you should rest now. A man needs his rest," Iroh said gently.

-0-

"You did not send me Katara this afternoon, you old grump!" Yugoda harrumphed at Pakku, who was standing gloomily around her door.

Was he waiting for her? Well, he could wait a little longer. She wasn't going to deal with his problem until she had made herself a tea and sat down, no matter how sad he looked. She'd had a huge day and had been completely run off her feet. Pakku could wait until after her tea.

He miserably followed her in with a forlorn expression.

"Pakku, you look wrung out," she said, trying to sound gentle, even though it sounded more like a scold. She made him a tea, too, and brought it over. "What are you doing hanging round my door at this time of night?"

"Yugoda, I need your advice."

She nearly dropped the cup in surprise. "You need my advice?" Incredulity was evident in her tone. She felt like she should savour this moment.

"I made a mistake. I need to know how to make it right or Katara will never speak to me again," Pakku said, sounding sincere. He did care about that girl, the granddaughter of his long lost love, in his own gruff way.

"Tell me what you did first," Yugoda said as she settled down into the chair opposite.

She was prepared for a tale full of high-handed, domineering stupidity. It was Pakku's special blend. She listened, disappointed but not surprised at what he had done. Honestly, only a complete idiot would think saying, "I forbid you to see that boy!" would be a useful way to talk to a teenage girl in love. It had been cruel and stupid. Yugoda frowned at Pakku.

"Such a mean old man," she chided him, interrupting. "He was a good lad. They were sweet together."

"He was sullen and petulant and disrespectful. He did not deserve her," Pakku said defensively.

Yugoda rolled her eyes. Typical Pakku. He didn't seem to know how to respond to this disrespect and looked at her with wide eyes. She motioned for him to continue his story. She had a terrible feeling there was more emotional density ahead.

"Pakku! What have I told you before?" she admonished when he had finished. "Never speak to crying women. You only make it a hundred times worse!"

Pakku insisted that he had been trying to help.

"Let me get this straight. You think you are helping when you say to Katara that you forbid her to see her boyfriend or you will throw him to a fate worse than death. Then you feel personally inconvenienced when you assume he has died promptly afterwards. You find Katara grieving. You decide to tell her firstly that you are glad her relationship ended with her boyfriend dying horribly, because you think it was a stupid and futile relationship to begin with."

Pakku looked like he wanted to interrupt, but she held up her hand for silence.

"Next, you tell her she will forget him and get over it soon. Then you go on about how she needs a Water Tribe boyfriend. Finally, you say there's plenty of fish in the sea and start listing potential new boyfriends for her—a list which included Hahn, whom she loathes, because he is single now?"

It was all terrible, but that last bit was especially callous.

"I was desperate. She didn't seem interested in any of the other boys in the tribe, and Hahn was the only one I hadn't mentioned."

Yugoda waved him off again. Pakku had the emotional depth of an eggcup, but anyone with the emotional depth of a teacup or larger would have quickly surmised the reason for Katara's disinterest in the other boys at this particular juncture. She had loved Zuko, and Zuko had loved her. Those two could deny it until penguins flew, but Yugoda knew what had been going on. None of Pakku's "logic" would make it any less true.

"You're surprised that Katara is angry at you and does not wish to speak to you?" Yugoda concluded. "After all that?"

Pakku shifted uncomfortably. "It sounds bad when you say it like that."

"It sounds bad because it was dreadful. Honestly, if I were Katara I would have slapped you. I'm rather surprised she didn't."

"She seemed too sad to fight."

Ah! Even Pakku with his eggcup level of emotional depth could figure that out.

"What have I told you? Send any crying woman you encounter to me!" Yugoda let out a frustrated huff. "I really wish you had done that today. You could have saved everyone a great deal of upset! Zuko's not even dead. I could have told her that."

Pakku expressed some surprise at this, but Yugoda had already gotten to her feet with a sigh and started gathering her things. Her long day was not over. She was worried now after hearing of Katara's unnecessary grief. She couldn't leave the healing house when her patients needed her today, but her failure to pass on her message had caused Katara a great deal of heartache.

"I am going to Katara's house to let her know. Do not come, Pakku. You really will only make it worse," Yugoda said, shaking her head as she strode out.

She didn't want poor Katara to be subjected to any more of Pakku's brand of "helping". He had actually thought it was appropriate in that moment to instruct the poor girl that she needed to procreate with a waterbender so she could pass on her incredible genes.

Goodness gracious.

But it was too late at night by the time Yugoda arrived. Katara, Sokka and the Avatar must have all been sound asleep when she knocked gently on the door, as there was no answer. She did not want to wake them. They needed all the rest they could get. Yugoda would tell her in the morning.

Pakku was still at her house when she returned, hoping she would have a solution. He asked how he could make Katara forgive him.

"In all honesty, Pakku, you have really treated the girl quite terribly. I don't know if she will forgive you any time soon. You certainly can't make her."

Pakku was unhappy with this answer.

"You can't control her or how she feels, Pakku. Women don't like that. That's the whole problem up here," Yugoda said bluntly.

"I didn't—"

"Let me speak." He had asked her for her advice and he was going to hear it. "Kanna left because she did not want to have you controlling her for the rest of her life. Katara is the same. If you want her to forgive you, then you have to earn it. You must make a real change to the way you treat the women around you."

-0-

Aang felt lethargic and gross the first few times he woke up. One time, he swore he woke up to Pakku poking him with his boot and leaning over him like a giant, judgemental praying-mantis.

The first seven times he woke up, he promptly decided that it was a much better plan to go back to sleep. The eighth time was the charm. He felt better and clearer. He got up and stretched like a cat before walking softly out into the main room.

Katara and Sokka were sitting in front of the fire. Sokka was looking at some maps and Katara was sharpening a knife very carefully. They'd been talking in hushed tones when Aang entered. Katara gave a small yelp of surprise when she saw Aang. Sokka jumped up a little.

"Aang! You're awake!" Sokka said.

"How long have I been asleep?" Aang asked.

"Since the siege," Katara replied evenly.

"Wow." That had to be the longest Aang had ever slept for, save the iceberg.

"How are you feeling?" Katara asked, sounding a little wary and concerned at the same time.

"Pretty good," Aang said cheerfully, and sat next to Sokka. "Where's Zuko?"

"Zuko's..." Sokka trailed off, focusing on his map for a second.

"He escaped, Aang," Katara said firmly. "He got out before the battle started, while you were in the spirit world."

"Well, that's good, I guess," Aang said, really trying to sound cheerful.

It didn't really sound like Zuko. Zuko normally ran towards the danger, in Aang's experience. Still, it was definitely for the best if he'd made it to the Earth kingdom since everyone on all sides seemed to want to kill him here. Aang should be happy, not sad, that he had gotten away.

Zuko had been one of his people. Aang thought he'd be able to keep all his people together this time. But he couldn't. A good friend would be happy his other friend wasn't dealing with worrying about whether he would be executed or not. That had stressed Zuko out.

Still, he'd promised Zuko he'd find him in the Earth Kingdom so they could lift his banishment. Surely, Zuko would have told Sokka and Katara where he was going so they could find him again?

Katara said a little uneasily that she didn't know where he had gone in the Earth Kingdom. She glanced at Sokka. She probably felt bad about forgetting to ask him.

Sokka told Aang it wouldn't be easy to find Zuko again, because the Earth Kingdom was huge. He said "Don't get your hopes up" a few more times than Aang thought was necessary. Sokka pointed out that Zuko had always found them in the past, so they'd just have to wait for him to turn up.

Sokka also said that, now Aang was awake, they could all leave tomorrow. Pakku had declared that Katara was a master waterbender when Aang had been sleeping, so she could teach him on the road. That made Aang's heart a bit lighter. He would prefer to learn from Katara than Pakku. It would be great to spend time alone with her again. He sometimes daydreamed about it being just him and Katara together.

He loved Sokka and Zuko, but those two had always been around, squabbling and wrestling and making sarcastic comments and eating weird meat products, then having ridiculous eating competitions with their meat products. It had made it hard to tell Katara how he really felt with all that noise going on in the background. Sokka couldn't make that much noise on his own.

At least there was the bright side to their friend leaving them.

There'd be an empty space in the saddle, but Aang was trying to find the positive.

Still, Aang couldn't help but think that it would be weird going back to just the three of them.

0-

Katara felt like she had cried all she could, and it wasn't enough. She felt so alone. The world was dark, cold and empty. No one was going to make it warm and bright again.

There was no one she could talk to about this. Aang didn't know. Sokka had tried to be logical and talk about their future plans. He was pretending he wasn't horribly sad. She knew that was his way of trying to be strong, but it was stupid.

She felt the sunlight streaming through the window on her face, and got up. She was happy to leave her bed. She'd had nothing but nightmares of him all alone in that terrible place and then the water coming in. She pushed those wretched thoughts away harshly.

She'd go fetch the ingredients to make their breakfast, because somebody needed to do that. Then she was going to go back to the frozen pit to have another huge cry, because somebody needed to do that too.

Katara was very surprised to see Yugoda waiting outside her house. She felt instantly wary. The last time she had woken to a waterbending master waiting outside her door, it had led to one of the worst days of her entire life. Her hands clenched when she thought of Pakku.

If she hadn't been so worried about Pakku's threats, she would have gone to collect him so much earlier. Perhaps he wouldn't have been so panicked. They would have had more time together at least. They might have found another way.

He might still be here if it wasn't for that bitter old man.

Just to rub the salt in, Pakku had been the one to find her yesterday. It still made her angry, thinking about what he had said to her.

Perhaps a less heartbroken Katara would have challenged Pakku to a fight, just for the joy of slapping him across his face, but what would be the point? Even if she could beat up Pakku, it wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't bring him back to her.

Pakku's suggestion that she could just forget him, then replace him with one of the dickheads from Seal Class or, even worse, bloody Hahn, made her look at Pakku in a new light.

He really didn't know her at all.

She'd been trying so hard to earn his respect and his goodwill, to make him change his ways and see things differently. She had thought they were teaching each other. But he had never been learning from her. He hadn't seemed to change how he thought of girls at all. He'd said that girls' emotions were fleeting and constantly changing, and that was why they needed men to make choices for them, to control them. He'd never stopped thinking this. It didn't matter that Katara had nearly mastered waterbending or that he saw her as a granddaughter. She was a still just a girl who needed to be controlled.

Now, she no longer cared what Pakku thought and she wasn't shy about showing him.

"What a hedgehog fucker!" he had said whenever they spoke about Pakku. She felt the corner of her mouth lift up in the ghost of a smile. He would have approved of her cold-shouldering Pakku.

Now Yugoda was here, and Katara felt uneasy. It wasn't really Yugoda's fault, but Katara was done with listening to anyone in the Northern Water Tribe.

She didn't want to stay here without him.

Sokka was right. They had to get out of here as soon as they could.

"Katara, dear girl." Yugoda said, pulling her into a hug.

She felt enveloped in a warm, soft parka that smelled of different liniments. Katara was startled. Yugoda never hugged her. She hadn't been hugged like this since Gran Gran said goodbye to her at the start of autumn. She was stiff in the old healer's arms.

"I have something to tell you," Yugoda whispered in her ear, "but we cannot discuss it here. Follow me."

Without any further explanation, she started walking away, just expecting Katara to follow. They ended up at Yugoda's house.

"Make yourself comfortable," Yugoda said, but it sounded like an instruction and not a request.

Before Katara knew it, she was sitting in a comfy chair with a cup of tea and a biscuit firmly placed in her hands.

"I have something for you." Yugoda held out something in her hand.

Katara recognised it straight away. She saw the ebony handle, the inscription, and the well-made blade. It was his. He always carried it with him. How had Yugoda gotten this? She looked at the old woman in astonishment.

"Zuko wanted you to have it," Yugoda said gently.

She took Katara's teacup and biscuit from her and placed them on the table softly. This had been a good idea. Katara's hands were shaking and the tea had been splashing out everywhere. The knife was placed in her hands. Katara gripped it tightly before turning it over and examining it.

Never give up without a fight.

Her fingers traced the inscription, and she felt the ghost of a smile on her lips. Of course Zuko would like an inscription like that. The knife had seemed so his, like it was a part of him. Zuko had tried to give it to her before, and she hadn't let him. She remembered that night so clearly.

"I've got to give you something and this is all I have!"

Now, it had come back to her. She gripped the handle of the knife tight and fastened it to her belt. She was keeping it safe this time. She'd have a little part of him forever now.

"I don't understand," Katara said, disbelief and hope warring inside her. "He's alive?"

"I helped him and his uncle escape the city safely. I could hardly let anything dreadful happen to your favourite patient," Yugoda said with a gentle twinkle in her eye. "Zuko gave it to me before he left. He wanted me to give it to you when I passed on a message, so you could be sure it was really coming from him."

He'd said the same thing to Katara when he'd tried to give the knife so she could pass a message onto his uncle. Her stomach lurched from feeling nervous and excited.

"What message?" Katara asked, hearing her voice shake with fragile hope.

"He wanted me to tell you that he was sorry and ashamed of what he did. Very sorry. He said a swear word to describe how sorry he was, but I won't repeat that," Yugoda said with a slight frown. "Honestly, I've told him a thousand times, I really don't think he should be using language like that."

It was the exact same disapproving face she had made the one and only time Zuko had sworn in the healing house, the day he had broken his wrist. Katara let herself believe the old woman was telling her the truth. The horrible, heavy weight in Katara's belly felt a lot lighter suddenly. A smile was dawning on her face.

"Zuko also wanted you to know that he would miss you and that he never meant to hurt you. He said he would have stayed with you forever if he could," Yugoda finished with a gentle, knowing smile.

Katara felt something warm, delicate and soft blooming in her chest. A powerful wave of fondness, longing and regret surged through her. Zuko was alive. The world was a brighter, less lonely place again.

"Thank you," she gushed as she got out of her chair to hug the older woman properly. Yugoda had saved him. Katara would be forever grateful from the bottom of her heart.

Yugoda gave her a fierce hug. "Mmmmmm mmmmmhhhhh," she said, before holding her at arms' length just to make the face at her. "I thought it was a rather interesting message to come from someone you always insisted was just a friend." There was a wicked, teasing look in her eye. She seemed very pleased with herself.

"Yugoda!" Katara exclaimed, scandalised. The old woman had always loved teasing them, but was this really the time?

"Go on, you can tell me. Zuko was much more than a friend, wasn't he?" Yugoda asked in that same cheeky tone.

"He was my boyfriend," Katara found herself confessing.

Zuko wasn't here to be hurt by any ramifications from the tribe and she could finally say what was in her heart. There was no one else here to judge, only Yugoda, and she'd always been good to them. But boyfriend didn't seem to cover it. It sounded so flippant.

Zuko was ... more. He was the first person she wanted to see when she woke up. Whenever anything happened, she had wanted to tell him straight away. If ever she was sad, he would comfort her. He made her laugh. He listened to her. She'd always felt like she could just be herself around him. They'd understood each other.

"He was my best friend," she added, and that seemed a little better, a little more fitting.

"I knew it!" Yugoda crowed.

It seemed to make her day, being told that she had been right in her suspicions.

"You two were always so ridiculous about denying it whenever I caught you canoodling. That wasn't fooling anyone!" Yugoda said, laughing loudly.

Katara felt caught up in the incorrigible old lady's mirth. She felt lighter, warmer and better for finally telling someone.

"Yugoda, where is he now?" Katara asked. She wanted to see him so badly.

"His uncle said they would try their luck in the Earth Kingdom. Beyond that, I don't know. I am sorry."

Oh.

The Earth Kingdom was huge.

Katara felt a little crestfallen. She'd never be able to find him now. He was alive, but he was still lost to her. Katara might never see him again. Yugoda took her chin in her wrinkled hand and smiled warmly at her. There was no teasing in her eyes now, just sincerity.

"Take heart, Katara. If you two are meant to be together, I'm sure you'll find him again."

Oh, how Katara hoped that was true.

-0-

"I spy," Zuko said for what felt like the thousandth time.

"Is it the ocean again?" Iroh asked gently, always patient.

There was a long pause.

"Yes."

"Rather than play I Spy, why don't you tell me all about your girlfriend, Katara?" Iroh suggested.

Zuko had a girlfriend. Despite their woeful situation at present, the idea made Iroh feel excited for him. He'd always wanted to Zuko to know happiness, and Yugoda had said through their complicated code that Zuko had seemed unnaturally, creepily cheerful while he was dating Katara.

Zuko had been cheerful? Iroh couldn't imagine it.

"Uncle! I don't want to talk about it. Can you just stop asking!" Zuko grumbled.

"I have so many proverbs about love. Would you like to hear some?"

"No."

"How about …"

"I have an idea. Would you like to tell me more about the Flower Friends? Roughly how big is this secret flower society you were hiding from me?" Zuko said, looking at Iroh suspiciously.

The White Lotus had become an awkward subject between them. Zuko seemed to be getting his head around the magnitude of the lies Iroh had been telling him. It was obvious he was thinking on it a lot. Every now and then, apropos of nothing, Zuko would say something like, "The day with the pirates, you didn't really lose your tile, did you? You just needed to see a Flower Friend in that town."

Iroh's answers were always vague, and Zuko was clearly finding it frustrating.

"We actually prefer being called the White Lotus," Iroh corrected.

It had been a mistake to insist on this, but Iroh was down a path now. Zuko knew how much Iroh wanted him to use the group's proper title and seemed to be taking some juvenile satisfaction in always calling them Flower Friends. Iroh hoped that eventually Zuko would get over this and respond to his patient corrections.

"Is it just you, Pakku, Yugoda, Jeong Jeong, an innkeeper, that dude in the town, and a crazy fortune teller exchanging wacky Pai Sho scenarios and having a laugh or are there more people?" Zuko asked for the tenth time.

Iroh was out of excuses. He knew the answer would anger Zuko. He was silent for a long time while he thought of the best response.

"Uncle?" Zuko asked again. He wasn't going to let this go.

"Oh, I am so tired. I may have a rest now too," Iroh said after a second. Retreat was the best option at this point.

"Really, Uncle?" Zuko said incredulously as Iroh lay down.

Iroh did not reply.

"Uncle, you can't just pretend to be asleep and not answer me!"

It was going to be a long float back to the Earth Kingdom.

-0-

End of Book one

-0-

Notes:

Hello lovely readers.

Enormous thank you to Boogum for the beta. She's fantastic!

Huge thank you to everyone who responds! I love your feedback.

So this is the end of book one. I was originally planning on splitting the story into three parts – So it didn't look so incredibly long when I looked at the word count. Book two would be called the illusion of separation. I may still do that, or I may keep it all together here. I'm still tossing up about it.

This chapter mostly deals with falling action from the siege, and sets up stuff for book 2.

So I shamelessly used "We thought you were dead!" trope in this chapter, to help Katara recognise a few things. In my first draft Katara didn't find out for another few chapters that Zuko was definitely alive. When I finally came around to planning and writing this story out I just couldn't...it was too mean to her. So she only thinks he's dead for a day here – but goodness would that had been enough. There would have been so much bitter regret and grief going through the poor girl!

I just wanted to clarify that Zuko was planning on breaking out of the North Pole with Aang, lifting his banishment, and then returning Aang to the safety of the North Pole, before returning to the ship. He wasn't going to hand Aang over to the FN. I don't think he'd deliberately betray them that way after everything. I don't know if I made this clear enough based of some responses to the last chapter. I'll see if I can expand the terrible plan paragraph to make it clearer.

It's a pretty terrible plan, but Zuko would have been clutching at straws. Katara would have been furious at him, but I wouldn't put in on the same anger level as after Ba Sing Se. However, for the day when she thinks the result of her actions was gruesome blob-monster death for her boyfriend, she would have been beyond heartbroken. It helped clarify her feelings. She was angry at him, but she still loved him, faults and all. His faults are very similar to her faults after all – they are both impulsive and tempestuous.

Katara would have recognised panicked desperation for what it was, and bitterly regretted the way she reacted, even if she didn't see any other options at the time. When she was talking about Aang loving Zuko and never getting over it, she would have been projecting hardcore.

Also they both got to realise that taking their anger and grief out on proxy people/lashing out does not help their situation. Zuko realised last chapter that hurting Zhao would not bring him anything he wanted. Katara realised that no matter what she did to Pakku, it wouldn't bring her boyfriend back to her. This is an important lesson for both of them.

Pakku has been scolded by Yugoda, and he is going to have to make some real changes – but now he is much more motivated to do so, now that he has 'lost' Katara's affection and respect. He is going on his own journey of discovery, because frankly he needs to leave the North and see a bit more of the world to grow. I also don't think it needs to be Katara's job to teach him, because that girl has enough on her plate already.

Aang also needed a more personal motivation for really looking at what happened at the North. I feel like he never really thought about the fact that he occasioned the death of hundreds of people during the Siege of the North.

When he hopes on his little soapbox during the Sozin's comet arc, and went on about how he would never do anything to hurt a fly ever, I was confused. Did I imagine the Seige of the North? The Buzzard wasp? The fact that less than 10 episodes ago, Aang was okay with breaking into the palace and killing Ozai? Anyway, I like Aang, and I would prefer to chalk this one up to either sloppy writing, or a lack of self-awareness and self reflection – as opposed to deliberately hypocritical obstinacy.

Aang has never really thought about these things deeply, because they are very unpleasant and he avoids them, like he avoids most things he finds unpleasant. However, when the parade of lies collapses and he realises that Sokka and Katara both assumed he had murdered Zuko through ocean spirit mojo, he is going to want to find out for himself and really examine what happened. He will face the unpleasant head-on.

Iroh's secret is out. Zuko now knows about the white lotus well before he did in canon. It is actually a huge secret that Iroh kept from him. It's not going to escape Zuko's notice how a massive, international network of spies and agents could have really helped him during his three years of fruitless searching, but Iroh said nothing.

Zuko loves his uncle, but a lie of omission of that magnitude is going to affect how he sees his Uncle and their relationship. There is so much love and affection there, but there is also perpetual grumpiness, and the ability to leap to the worst conclusions and a tendency to lash out (Zuko's) and a literal ocean load of secrets and obscure proverbs (Iroh's). Their growing conflict over the secrets will help them appreciate and communicate with each other much better.

Next chapter Zuko will confide in Iroh, Azula will show up, a parade of lies will collapse, and Sokka will be perpetually stressed. Until then, lovely readers.