The Greatest Prank

I do NOT own Harry Potter!

Dumbledore was looking in the mirror, practicing his facial expressions. He had sent Hagrid to fetch Harry Potter for the train for Hogwarts, and he wanted to be prepared. He practiced looking concerned, for when Hagrid told him how horrid Harry's relatives were. Shock for when he learned how awful they treated him, as if he were a house elf. And finally what he called his grandfather look. It made him look approachable, and concerned for all his students. He poured himself a drink as he thought about his plans for Harry Potter. Now that the boy's confidence had taken a beating, much like his body, he would be easier to control. Albus smirked as he thought of how he would appear to be the savior to young Harry. Yes, the boy would look to him in all matters. Weak as a newborn kitten and docile as a lamb. Yes, this would do nicely.

He heard footsteps on the staircase and quickly took his seat. Looking up as Hagrid entered he quickly said, "All set then Hagrid? Harry has gotten all he needs?" Hagrid shuffled his large feet and said, "Well you see Headmaster, it weren't my fault you see. I went to fetch Harry, I did. But he uh, well, he weren't there. In fact the muggles say he has never been there. I am sorry sir, but he weren't there to fetch." Shock registered on Dumbledores face, and not the practiced shock he had imagined. Where was the boy?

He flew into a flurry of activity. He had to quickly locate the boy. Oh why hadn't he checked on the boy before now. Oh that's right, because he simply didn't care how he had been treated. He just needed him for his plan. He would sacrifice the boy, for the greater good of course. Then he would take the glory for having been the one to defeat Voldemort when the time came. He couldn't do that without the brat. So where was he? He called in every favor he could think of. Snape was the one who suggested waiting until after the sorting to get all flustered. Surely the boy would be on the train and would need sorted with the others. Yes. Yes. The sorting. The boy would be there. Surely he would.

The time for the sorting had come. Dumbledore sat in anticipation to see if the brat was in the group of first years. As the names were called his irritation increased. He wanted to just shout the boys name to get it over with. At last Professor McGonagall called the name he was looking for. HARRY POTTER!

From the back of first years, a boy came forth. His dark hair slicked back, eyes bright green, and a sneer upon his lip. He didn't walk, he swaggered up to the stool, took his seat and waited as the Hat was placed on his head. SLYTHERIN! The whole hall was abuzz at the news that Harry Potter was sorted into Slytherin. Albus watched in shock as the boy moved to the Slytherin table. He glared at students at the table and they quickly moved out of his way. Even the Malfoy brat showed him respect. What was going on, where was the puppet he was sure he would have access to? He scrambled for a plan. The Longbottom boy, yes, he could make it work with him.

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM! Wait, this was the Longbottom boy? The one all but orphaned and rumoured to be little better than a squib? This couldn't be right. This boy was every bit as confident and the Potter brat had been. He was sure he had misheard when the Hat once again called SLYTHERIN! The Longbottom boy walked straight to the Potter brats side and sat down smirking.

In shock, Dumbledore scanned the remaining first years, a muggle born. Yes, surely that would be the irony. A muggleborn being the one to defeat the Dark Lord. Well, not that anyone would know they had done it. His eyes settled on a small bushy hair girl, Grinder, Grenner, Ranger, something like that. The girl was small, mousy, and from what Minerva had said a bookworm through and through. A Ravenclaw, perhaps a Hufflepuff. She would do nicely. HERMIONE GRANGER! Ah yes, that was the chits name. On her way up to the stool the Potter brat yelled out, "Saving you a seat!" The girl blushed and hurried to the stool. The Hat sat on her head for a good 5 minutes before it holler out SLYTHERIN!

Albus slummed in his seat until he heard RONALD WEASLEY! Followed by GRYFFINDOR! A quick look at the boy assured him that yes, the youngest of the Weasley boys would work.

Later that night, a white owl zoomed towards a cottage near Godric's Hollow. The occupants inside took the parchment and small parcel from the owl.

Dear Sirius and Remus,

Have I mentioned how absolutely brilliant your plan is? The old fool looked scared out of his pants. Bloody hell I thought he was going to cry when Nev sorted Slytherin. And Mione played her part perfect. All meek and smarts. Dumbledork nearly swallowed his tongue when we claimed her for Slytherin as well. He was looking at the youngest Weasley though. Perhaps a warning to the family would be in order? By now I am sure the old codger is sure I am as evil as Moldyshorts. He won't be bothering me or Nev or Mione. Tonight could have gone a totally different way if it wasn't for you two. Thank you. For doing what you did. My mother would be grateful, and my dad...well he woulf surly think this is the greatest prank ever. Me, sorted in Slytherin and evil? Not bloody likely. Besides, all Slytherin's aren't evil. Uncle Severus was sure to include both his and my memories for your viewing pleasure.

Love,

H.J.P