A/N: This is 100% inspired by the fact that Mädchen likes to use Skeet as a chair. xoxo.

The first time Alice sits on F.P.'s lap is the first week of their freshman year.

She likes to think she doesn't want him, but she doesn't want anyone else to have him either. It matters that they are both from the Southside and most of the time he's the only one that she can actually trust. The Northsiders just have a way about them and even if one or two are nice to her it's probably for some ulterior motive she has no interest in getting involved in.

So when she sees him flirting with some girl she doesn't bother to learn the name of she can't help herself. She walks over in her all black outfit, a stark contrast to the girl in question, but right in line with F.P. and props herself down on his lap. There's a smile given towards the other girl and an even bigger one given to F.P.

She knows he wants her and this is definitely sending a message but she doesn't care. She'll deal with that later. She doesn't even mind when F.P. puts his hand on her thigh, staking a claim of his own.

It's not until their junior year that she becomes known for her antics. If F.P. is talking to someone it won't be long before Alice comes and sits on his lap like she owns him. Not that F.P. ever complains and she has it on good authority from Fred that he actually likes it.

Who wouldn't?

Only it's not out jealousy. Not completely. It's lunch and he's sitting with the guys from the football team. She envies just how easily he fits in with guys he has nothing really in common with. They are mostly rich guys with exactly zero problems but F.P. is constantly wearing that Serpent jacket of his and he has a giant Serpent tattoo across his chest that she sat with him for.

They don't know him at all and that's exactly why she sits on his lap. He's not slipping away from her for guys that wouldn't give him the time of day if they actually spent two minutes in the Southside.

She plays with the ends of his hair on the base of his neck as the boys talk about things she is not interested in and wonders how long that'll last.

She gets asked about Hal Cooper not long after and decides she can find some place in the Northside all on her own.

She's pregnant.

Alice refuses to tell F.P. that and if she's careful about it she can pretend that it's not his and it's actually Hal's. Exactly why she spends so little time with F.P. anymore, but he happens to be in the Whyte Wyrm when she is and well, where else is she going to sit?

She hasn't touched the drink placed in front of her for good reason but made up some story about how if her mom catches her drinking again she'll end up out on her ass. F.P. buys it and she does feel a little bit bad about the fact that she's carrying his child and he doesn't know the difference.

He kisses at her neck as she sits there, eyes shutting as the too loud music plays, the guys begin to whistle as a new member completes the last step of her initiation.

A knocked up Serpent from the Southside, knocked up by her Southside not quite boyfriend, since her boyfriend is definitely Hal Cooper.

Cliche.

She savors those last few moments with his arms around her waste before she has to break his heart.

And her own.

Twenty five long years pass before she even gives him the time of day. They've seen each other a few times over the years. Mostly at school or when he was over at Fred's house for some reason or another. She didn't speak to him unless she absolutely had to and even then she spoke to Gladys so she didn't need to speak to F.P.

But things spiral out of control and somehow, he's the one that is there for her. He is the one she can count on more than she can Hal and she misses him. As if him being in her orbit was too much for her to ignore.

Only a few days have passed since she knocked on his door and let him fuck her until she could barely remember her own name. Couldn't remember the last time she's ever been so content.

He's sitting on his motorcycle and the kids are in school. The only reason that she's even allowing herself to be so close to him. She wants to. God, she really does, but she needs to find a way to break the news to Betty first. She can be subtle and keep some semblance of self control.

He's talking with a group of men on some official Serpent business she is only vaguely aware of. Once a Serpent, always a Serpent, F.P. told her the previous night when she was being far too much a journalist and asking questions. It was his reason for indulging her. Now she moves and takes the all too tiny space between him and the bars of the motorcycle, offering a smile to the guys who look at her.

She knows she has peace to make with a few of them still, but the younger members don't seem to hate her entirely anymore. Frankly, she's in F.P.'s good graces and he's their king so it should be easy enough for them to accept her as if she was on her Northside high horse for so long.

When F.P. puts his arm around her shoulder and she moves to grasp at his hand she can't seem to care what any of them think.

Betty handles the news way better than Jughead does. Something they all expected. From the interesting connections to the fact that there was far more hope for Jughead to see his mother and father together again...well, she doesn't entirely blame him.

The tables have turned, however, as she is entirely certain he hates her. Is it true? Perhaps. Perhaps not. F.P. assures her it is not true and he'll come around in his own time but it does not make things any less awkward.

F.P. has told her to chill out, exact words, more times than she count. Especially given they are all in her house for dinner to try and smooth the waters. She even allows for Betty to invite Archie and Veronica in order to not feel the awkward moments of everything.

Turns out, it doesn't go according to plan.

It's worse.

It's one thing after another. From snide comments, to dinner, to tensions between the teens, to weird comments from everyone about Betty and Jughead being siblings. She truly wants to go back and forget suggesting the idea in the first place.

Archie and Veronica leave first to his house and Betty takes Jughead up to her room. It's F.P. that has to remind them not to get up to anything.

He takes a seat in the living room after they both finish cleaning, telling her to come over to him. She doesn't expect things to be perfect, she just wishes they could be slightly better.

As if it's nothing but pure instinct she sits in his lap, entirely, leaning her body against his own as her arm wraps around his neck. His arm wraps around her waist and for a few minutes she just sits there in absolute silence.

His lap has always been her safe place and she isn't letting that go.

Not when she knows she loves him.

They'll figure everything else out eventually.