Hey! I'm going to be brave and submitt one of my stories. It's about Mac, the character from Red Canyon, but some of it takes place outside of Utah. I'm going to be telling it in flash backs and present day sections. It's my first time publishing so im kinda nervous. I feel like i could constantly edit everything i write but im just going to bite the bullet and float this one out there.

Sorry for the typos/ if this uploads wrong again. My word processor stinks and im brand new at this, trying to figure out all the kinks. I uploaded the wrong version twice already but hopefully I've figured it out

Does anyone know what happened to that story "the captive heart"? I was realy enjoying it and im so bummed its gone.

oh, also, trigger warnings apply for drug addiction and abusive relationships. Then again, its mac, so you're probably into that. If not though dont read!

I heard him before i saw him, and the sound of his voice made my legs want to give out on me. I let them, falling to a crouch behind the crumbling stone wall I stood near and trying to reign my thoughts in.

He had found me.

How?

No, it was impossible.

There was no way that could be anyone else's voice though. My body had been trained to respond it. I could almost feel his hand clamped onto the back of my neck, and my shoulders drew up to my ears as though the pressure were actually there.

Fear was making my insides melt and threaten to spill out of me. How he he found me? What was he doing here? I was miles, hell, fucking states, away from his run down shack in Utah. How had he found me?

My brain cycled this on repeat. I couldn't do anything but stay frozen and hope my feet wouldn't betray me. I could feel my body trying to react to its masters voice. It wanted to go towards him.

No! I shook my head, trying to regain control, not my master, just some sick fuck i got away from. Not my master, i don't have a master. I'm nobodies cat.

"You need someone like me to tell you what to do don't you?" His voice played like a recording in my head. I shut my eyes and i could see him, see us both, in that dusty desert town where nothing grew. He was standing behind me, my back flush with his chest. He had my chin in his hand, tilting my head back towards him so that my head was on his collarbone. I was whimpering and shaking against him. I could feel his grin against the back of my neck. I was terrified of him, but he stirred up a lust so primal in me that I couldn't stay away. Despite all my resolve, i never could resist him. All he had to do was tell me to come to him and i would, i was powerless against his voice.

"Don't you?" The memory of him asked again, the hand not at my throat was moving the fabric of my shirt aside and dipping down into the waist band of my shorts "its okay priddy kitty, you kin tell me"

Liquid started to pool between my legs, and heat spread up my belly. I wanted to touch myself but was afraid he'd get mad. I opened my mouth to ask permission and then realized where i was.

I wasn't in his arms. I was digging my nails into crumbling white rock, trying desperately to stay where i was and not reveal myself, despite every though other fiber of my being acting frantic to be discovered by him though.

Trying to regain control of my thoughts, I blamed my panting and sweating on the California sun. I wasn't fooling myself however, not so deep down I knew it was being this close to him again that made my body unpredictable.

Mercifully, when i strained to listen i could hear that the voices were moving further away. The spell was broken once I couldn't hear him, and when i was sure I wouldn't be seen when i stood up, i took off running towards my tent.

XxXxXxX

His memory continued to assault me as I frantically tried to pack my meager belongings.

'Where do'ya think yer going priddy kitty?' His voice, soft and playful, was teasing me from just beyond my peripheral vision. I heard it louder in my head, booming like thunder, when i tried to ignore it and keep packing 'did i say you could fuckin' leave?'

I could hear my voice repeating 'no' quietly over and over to no one. I felt distant, above my body, above all reason and logic. I knew it was too late, that he had already found me, but I couldn't stop myself from going through the motions.

'You can run' i promised myself, tears spilling down my face and blurring the sight of my hands stuffing clothes into my backpack ,'You can run, you can get away'

Then i heard the sound of his heavy, hurtful feet gaining on me. I felt my shirt being tugged back by his grip, a fierce whisper in my ear as i collided with his solid chest behind me 'You cant get away from me'

I screamed, loudly, and my whole body vibrated with the force of it. It was completely unexpected, and I marveled at how my body felt afterwards, in the afterglow. It felt good to expel energy that powerful. I was like a cougar hunched up and hissing a violent warning, bluffing with all its might. I imagined the cat in my mind, its yellow eyes sharp and focused; eyes that would not be reasoned with.

'Calli?'

I froze, my heart still beating like a animal, and then they called again.

'Calli, is that you?'

My breath rushed out of me in relief. It wasn't him, it was Martin.

"Yeah" i choked back, my throat still thick with emotion "sorry, there was a wasp in here"

"C'mere for a sec"

I sighed and wiped my eyes. I had to get it together, there were no other options. All i had to do was keep calm and figure out my next move. I could leave if i wanted, get pain for what i'd already completed and beg a ride into town. Or i could sit tight and lay low, hoping it was just some odd, cosmic coincidence that he had appeared at at the grow i was trying to work. Maybe he would leave me alone.

I wanted to stay and work though; the more i could trim the more i would earn, and i hadn't expected to have to leave before the end of the season. I needed that money, now more than ever. I put my hand over the small bump forming on my lower stomach. I hadn't started showing yet, not really, but it was firm under my touch. He couldn't find out about the baby. It wasn't just about me now, that was how i had even found the courage to leave in the first place.

"Yeah ill be right out" i called back, "gimme a minute"

I shut my eyes and did one of my breathing exercises. I pictured the big, jolly looking man who had taught me how via YouTube video as i did, keeping my palm pressed against my stomach as if i could feel her there. I hadn't felt the baby move yet, and it was still too early to even know if it was a girl, but I visualized it as female just the same.

I wiped my nose and eyes one last time, then slowly turned to crawl out of the tent to meet Martin.

XxXxXxX

I couldn't see him so i started walking towards the garden, figuring he had passed my tent as he usually did on his way to the plants. He typically had me help him if something came up while he was working out there; My tent was closer than the house where everyone else stayed. I huffed out my breath and shook the tension down my arms and out my fingers, keeping my head down so i could repeat my mantra as i approached.

'You're nobodies cat, you're nobodies cat' i whispered over and over to myself, an almost silent prayer that was barely more than a puff of of air passing over my vibrating lips. It helped, even if i were just 'faking it' until i could make it.

I saw Martin in front of one of the huge marijuana plants he had been able to grow this summer under the steady California sun, the things were truly massive. If you stretched your arms out you still couldn't fit them around it, and i figured he was talking to them like he usually did when I walked up to his side. He wasn't though, He'd been talking to someone just out of my line of sight, hidden by the tree-like bush, and when i lifted my head up to greet my friend all I could see him.

Something happened when our eyes connected. A crack of invisible lightning whipped across the backs of my knees and almost made me fall. Luckily, Martin was still saying something to Mac and hadn't seen my reaction.

Mac had though, even if his demeanor gave nothing away.

His eyes had widened for a second but that was it, then he was calm and composed again, returning his attention back to Martin and nodding as he spoke. He had known he'd find me here, there wasn't any surprise written on his face. For whatever reason, knowing i hadn't been able to trick him was worse than actually seeing him. Of course he had found me, an evil, sneaky voice whispered inside my head, making me twitch and tick, of course he had.

'Anyway' i heard Martin say above the static roaring past her ears 'this is calli, if there was a stray cat around here she'd know about it, she's always down by the barn feeding em"

"Cal" he said turning to me "this is Mac, he just moved in down the road. He says his cat took off and hasn't come back yet, came to ask if anyone's seen it"

I couldn't speak. I just nodded. Mac had moved in down the road? That was impossible. But there was was, standing in front of me. I rubbed my eyes, hoping the image of him before me would fade, but it didn't.

I could feel Martin staring at me, expecting me to say something, but I couldn't open my mouth. I didn't want to risk vomiting all over my feet. I wanted to run, wanted to flee him while i still had the chance. He hadn't caught me yet, i was still far enough away to leap back.

But another part of me felt relief. Just seeing him again was all the confirmation i could ever want. I felt an almost irresistible urge to take two steps forward and close the distance between us, to let his arms surround me again and pull me into his chest.

"This will hurt" a voice reminded me

The baby. I couldn't let him near it. It's only chance of survival was without him.

I chanced a look up at him.

His eyes had narrowed at me but i could see the beginning of his signature smirk forming in a twitch on his side of his mouth. He was pleased with himself. I could hear his goddamn voice in my head again, speaking to me through that calculating stare 'There you are darlin'

"I haven't seen your cat" i blurted out suddenly, trying to break the spell. I didn't know where the words were coming from but i didn't try to stop them. I was weak against him but i was also pissed. He hadn't touched me yet, i still had a little bit of strength left "besides, cats don't run away like dogs do. Maybe she didn't like you very much. Maybe you should just let her go"

Martin made a scoffing noise and shook his head, laughing awkwardly.

"Don't be rude cal, the guys just looking for his pet"

Pet.

The word made me shiver and i had no choice but to close my eyes as my instincts tried to shake it off.

Pet. A goddamn animal you keep.

Pet. Something that relies on you to feed it and protect it, something that cowers beneath your hand when you're mad at it.

Pet. Something you own, something you could put down or sell to another if it had lost its usefulness to you.

Pet.

Then Mac spoke and it was over. My inner dialogue shut down, quiet in his presence. He didn't like being spoken over, and the sound of his voice, his actual voice, not some watered down memory of it, commanded all of my attention.

"Oh it aint that sweetheart, she likes me just fine" he drawled out, his eyes mean and his voice like gravel stuck in syrup "she's always rubbing up on me, wanting me to make her purr"

He took a step towards me and i flinched, averting my eyes so he couldn't see me falter. I felt totally paralyzed with fear now that he had come closer, like i could actually feel his intention on grabbing me like a heat on my skin.

"But yer right, she aint like a dog. She don't listen fer shit an she ran off. Probably don't know how to find her way home so im lookin fer her"

Martin laughed and tried to diffuse the tension.

"Cal can you show him where the other cats all live? Maybe she wandered down there. Ive got to go finish watering"

"I - "

"Thanks" he said, reaching out to shake Mac's hand "i hope you find her man, you should stick around for a while, were having a bonfire tonight and the other trimmers will be back soon, maybe they've seen her"

" 'ppreciate it" Mac said, smiling with only half his mouth, his eyes still locked on me "maybe ill do just that"

He nodded and took off towards the back of the garden, away from us and towards the irrigation shed. I could hardly breath, as if Mac's presence had stolen all the atmosphere from around me. Somehow he seemed bigger now that it was just the two of us, but i could tell he was still slouching, not stretched into his full height. I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything but watch him smirk at me.

"So" he began, taking the last step necessary to close the distance between us "this is where ya got off to"

XxXxXxXx

"What are you doing here?" I whispered as he reached out to ghost his fingertips over my arm. The contact was like a whisper. He was seeing if i was going to bolt, i realized, treating me like a skittish animal. I wanted to scream but i didn't have the breath. It was like there were bricks on my chest. I was helpless as he touched me.

"I'm lookin fer you" he whispered back, saying it like it was obvious

I whimpered as his fingers moved north, tracing my collarbone and finding the sharpest point of my jaw, tilting it up to appraise my neck. I needed to move, I couldn't let him claim me like this.

"Yer coming home with me" he said lowly and i started to shake my head. He smirked again and suddenly grabbed my chin tight in his hand, moving my head up and down in a nodding motion as i finally gave into my fear and started to cry softly.

"No" i croaked out, gripping his hand in mine "I'm not"

He got angry then, moving even closer so that i was surrounded, overwhelmed by him. I could feel his chest against mine and i could smell the grease and smoke on him, the whiskey and the sunlight. My eyes shut on impulse and i tried to turn my face away.

The smell of the cigarettes on his clothes was making my head hurt. I could easily recall the way it had felt when he burned me with the tip a one, right below my waistline where he knew no one else would see. The scar started to get hot now as i remembered screaming and bucking beneath him, his shoulder braced against my chest while he held it to me. The sear of him extinguishing the cherry win my skin jolted me back to my senses.

"I'll scream" i told him now

He exhaled through his nose, calming himself and letting go of my chin. He looked past me for a moment, seeming to consider something and then deciding and dropping his eyes back to me. He wrapped both arms around me and pulled me close to him. It was worse. Being hugged by him only reminded me of the strength that lay dormant in his arms and the smell of the cigarettes was suffocating me. He squeezed harder, breathing me in as he did and i gasped.

The memories were rushing back too quick for me to stomach them. Him in front of me, his dick pressed up into my stomach, hard like a pipe but soft on my skin when the head of it slid against me. It was heavy and hot in my hand when I held it, the way a gun felt after you fired it. His whole body was like that, firm and imposing. Immovable.

"I'm not going back" i said suddenly

He backed off me then, smiling as he did. He was having fun with this.

"We'll see" he replied

We stood there for a moment, each of us trying to stare the other down, when i heard someone else calling my name.

"Calli ?" It was Lucy, one of the other trimmers, thank fucking god, and i smirked at Mac and shoved past him to go and greet her. I heard the growl he produced from his chest but i ignored it. He couldn't hurt me here, not in front of people, not the way he wanted to. I was safe for now.

"Lucy!" I called back, waving my arm above my head

She bounded towards us, her hair piled high on her head. When she saw Mac she slowed down, smiling still but confused.

"Who's this?"

I turned back to him. His jaw was pulsing like a heartbeat in his cheek as he clenched and unclenched it. He was pissed. Good.

"What did you say your name was again?" I asked him

He cleared his throat and uncrossed his arms, stepping past me to take Lucy's hand in his and bringing it up to his mouth to kiss it. I balked but something in my chest twisted and lurched. What the hell?

"Mac" he said, grinning down at her

"I'm Lucy" she beamed at him

My eyes rolled involuntarily at his back.

"Yeah well, I've got to go so maybe you can help him find his cat" i said over his broad shoulder towards her, retreating slowly as i did.

"You lost you cat?" She asked him, having completely forgotten about me as she absorbed the sight of him "that's awful"

"Yeah. Martin said somethin 'bout a barn, maybe you could show me where it is"

I didn't stay to hear the rest. I turned and walked as quick as i could back to the tent, pausing outside of it and wondering what to do next. I could hear Lucy laughing and i glanced back to see Mac tickling her side as they walked off together. What?

My body was revolting against me. The acid in my stomach curdled and threatened to climb up my throat. Why was he flirting with her? And why, more importantly, did i care?

Frustrated, i sank my fingers into the roots of my hair and pulled, trying to distract myself with the pain so i could clear my thoughts of him. It didn't work though, not when i could hear Lucy laughing like an idiot behind me as they made their way over to the barn.

I pulled harder at my scalp, bending my neck forward with the force of it.

The memory of him was gaining on me so I yanked as hard as i could, waiting for the white light that accompanied the pain to blind me. It wasn't working. The image was materializing behind my eyes and i powerless to stop it.

"Do you like that?"

"Mac-"

"Answer me!" His voice was like a hiss right in my ear.

I was back in his room, my face pressed against the wall and his weight bearing into from behind. He had my arms twisted up behind my back, and now he was breathing hard onto my neck, inching my wrists up towards towards my shoulder blades.

"Say it"

I had winced, sucking my breath in through gritted teeth but staying silent.

"What? You need more?" He asked. The way he said it let me know it was smiling "i kin give ya more darling"

He jerked hard, wrenching the bones in their sockets, and i screamed, my body trying to bend forward at the waist as the sound rushed out of me.

"There we go" he murmured, licking the skin behind my ear . I could feel him pressing his hips forward to ride my body as it bucked "open that priddy little mouth a yers an let me hear it"

The pain was radiating through my upper body as he held me. My feet were bare. I could feel the grit of the desert beneath my toes as i scrambled to take the pressure off my shoulders. I found my breath, panting through the pain, and i listened to him chuckle. The wall was hard against my cheek and his hands were like shackles on my wrists. He lifted me higher by my arms i felt my shoulder about to pull loose.

"I like it !" I told him frantically "i like it, i like it"

He lowered me slightly, letting my feet flatten against the floor again but keeping me still. The pain had retreated while still staying present. The partial relief was like ecstasy.

I could feel his dick, pulsating as he moved it up and and down against my pussy lips, wetting the tip and letting me feel him there without going inside.

"Ask me nicely" he growled, jerking hard on my hands again so that i yelped

"Please fuck me" i whimpered, moving my ass back into him and grinding "please, please fuck me"

He inched his hips forward and I gasped. It felt like warm, white light, this pleasure after such intense pain. I moved backwards as much as i could, trying to sink down on his dick, but he only laughed and pressed me forward again.

"Ah ah ah" he scolded me "greedy little slut"

"Please Mac" i was begging him now

"Tell me you need it"

"I need it! I responded immediately, the strange heat between my legs becoming unbearable, almost more uncomfortable than the pain had been "i need it, please fuck me"

He waited a moment longer, listening to me groan and feeling me writhe against him.

"Tell me yer mine"

"I'm yours, I'm yours, please"

He stepped forward, arching his hips so that he could push the rest of the way into me. I moaned into the plaster of the wall, relaxing my body as he ground himself against me. Now that he was buried all the way in he moved his hips from side to side, sending spasms through my legs and ass and laughing when i moaned again at the sensation. My entire body felt like a rubber band being stretched.

He waited a moment, letting me adjust, and then pulled out fully so he could slam back into me. I yelped, the jolt of it reminding me of how my arms were bent, but he ignored it, finding the pace he liked and continuing to pound me into the wall.

"No one else could fuck you like this" he grunted in my ear, his breath hot and wet against my tingling skin. I could hear the sound of my bones connecting with the wall as he jutted me forward but it didn't hurt, at least not yet, "tell me I'm the only one"

"Just you" i panted "just you, Mac - holy fuck - "

I couldn't do anything to meet his thrusts the way he held me, and when he started moving faster there was no way to brace myself for it. I couldn't feel the ground anymore. I couldn't feel anything except his body pressed against me and his dick getting impossibly harder inside me. I couldn't breathe but i didn't care. He let go of my hands and grabbed my hair and throat, squeezing both and pulling my tighter against him.

I couldn't breathe

I couldn't breathe

I couldn't -

My eyes shot open and i saw my tent in front of me. I was panting, and i could feel that i had started to sweat through my shirt. Shaking my head did nothing to clear it. I hadn't thought about that night in a long time. Or about how i had woken up on the floor, my throat sore and my body aching. I hadn't thought about how I had found him in the living room, his eyes on the flickering image of the tv and a beer bottle in his hand.

'What happened?' I had asked, trying to be heard over the television. Speaking hurt, and my hand was at my throat trying to rub the pain away.

'You passed out' he said casually, bored even. He didn't bother to take his eyes off the tv to look at me while he spoke; Instead he cleared his throat and leaned forward on his knees, engrossed in the screen and holding the bottle out to me 'Get me another one'

I groaned and unzipped my tent, climbing inside and peeling my shirt off. For the first time in forever i felt like using. I wanted to feel anyway except how i felt right now. I imagined the needle and the powder and carefully tapping it into a spoon. Dropping the water in and heating it with a lighter beneath it until it started to bubble and cook.

I pictured the way my blood looked when it tainted the golden heroin in the chamber of the needle , the excitement I had felt knowing I'd found a vein.

I wanted to scream but i knew it wouldn't help. That and what was left of my pride didn't want him to know the effect he was having on me. I smoothed my hand over my stomach and shut my eyes, trying the breathing exercise again and seeing only small packages of heroin secured in a bundle with a thin rubber band.

'Dammit' i said out loud to no one 'god fucking dammit'