For hours and hours on end, Marco kept riding Nachos. Through night and day, through sunny weather and rainy days. He barely rested, only when it was needed to. He was fueled by sheer willpower and swag alone. On his travels he encountered many dangers such as dragons, bandits and a few pedophiles here and there, but he bested them all with his badassery.

After weeks of travelling, he finally arrived at Ludo's Castle. Marco took off his sunglasses and squinted his eyes at the dark, looming castle. Lightning struck the castle and thunder boomed. Marco smirked and put his sunglasses back on.

"¡Vamos Nachos! We must save the fair maiden before something bad happens to her!" He said. Nachos purred and at full speed, she rode up a hill. In a very cool slow-motion shot, Marco glided through the air. With the power of testosterone, he soared through the sky and broke through the heavy wooden gate of the castle. Bystanders later even said the gate moved out of the way on its own, afraid of Marco's badassery.

Marco safely landed his dragoncycle in the central courtyard and jumped off Nachos.

"Stay here! I will recall you once I need your assistance." Nachos nodded and slipped away into the shadows.

"INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT! MARCO DIAZ HAS ENTERED THE CASTLE, I REPEAT, MARCO DIAZ HAS ENTERED THE CASTLE!"

Marco looked up and saw a bright flashing light appear. They already knew he was there. Within a minute, all of Ludo's monsters had surrounded him.

"Give up Diaz, you'll never get to the princess alive!" Bearicorn said.

"I beg to disagree..." Marco said and he initiated his bicycle kick. He deformed Potato-baby's head and then went after the other monsters. They all fell in battle relatively quickly. A karate punch here, high kick there and BANG everybody was down, except for Bearicorn. He pulled a walkie-talkie out of his bum and yelled: "I NEED BACKUP, NOW!"

Marco just simply grabbed the walkie-talkie and crushed it with his mighty hand.

"Oh my god I don't want to die!" Bearicorn said and he ran away, weeping.

Marco watched him run off. Badass heroes don't kill mind you. They only maim or seriously injure. With style.

But then an entire SWAT-team of Miss Heinous' robots surrounded him. They pointed their laser guns at Marco and one of them yelled: "GET ON YOUR KNEES!"

The corners of Marco's lips curled into a smile, and he did as he was told. One of the robots walked over to him to cuff his hands, but then, Marco took off his sunglasses, his eye flashed and a bright explosion of light destroyed the entire courtyard.

Marco got up and simply dusted off his shoulders. He then walked inside the castle, leaving the raining limbs behind him. He fiercly kicked open a door and saw...

Ludo and Miss Heinous violently kissing.

As a true badass, Marco resisted the urge to barf and cleared his throat.

Ludo looked up and cackled.

"A-HA! The karate-boy is here!" He jumped off his chair and stepped into a fighting stance.

"Seems like I have to teach this boy a lesson! Now, fight me or face-" Before he could finish that sentence, Marco had picked him up and thrown him out of a nearby window.

Miss Heinous quickly turned into her Meteora monster form and growled.

"So Princess Turdina, I heard you are a badass knight nowadays... well boy, you are too late!" Her lips curled into a devilish smile.

"What have you done to Star, you ratchet creature?" Marco belowed.

"Oh nothing terrible. I did warn her I would turn to more serious measures if she refused to cooperate." Meteora growled.

"You did not..." Marco said.

"Yes I did!" Meteora yelled and she burst out laughing.

"You MONSTER!" Marco yelled and he jumped into the air. Meteora responded quickly and lunged at Marco. Before they collided with eachother, Marco delivered a devastating one-inch punch, knocking out the monstrous creature cold.

With an enormous thud, Meteora fell to the ground and Marco landed next to her, gracefully.

He searched her pockets and soon enough, he found the key to the dungeons.

Marco dashed to the dungeons and used the Force to push all of the guards out of his way.

"Who's there?" Star asked as she looked up. She heard the clattering of weapons in the hallway.

"Could it be?" She wondered, filled with hope.

A guard came flying by as Marco stormed inside.

"MARCO!" Star yelled. "Now everything is going to be okay!" Happiness lit up her tear-stained face.

"Don't worry princess, I am here to free you!" Marco said with his awesome voice.

The totally forgot he got the key, instead he broke the lock with his bare hands.

"I heard they did horrible things to you my lady!" Marco said as he entered the cell.

"Oh Marco, it was awful! They tied my shoe-laces together!" Star said.

"Bastards..." Marco scowled. He picked up the princess and carried her outside. There, he gave her back her magic wand so she could free herself. Star untied her shoe-laces, but never let go of Marco. And so, Marco whistled for Nachos again and the three of them rode back to Mewni Castle. As they drove off, Marco detonated the C4 he had installed and in slow-motion, they drove away from the huge explosion that destroyed the entire castle.

Star returned to her parents who welcomed her back with tears in their eyes.

"My little baby girl! I'm so glad you are safe!" Moon said as she hugged her daughter.

"Marco my boy, you are a hero of the kingdom! How can we ever repay you?" River asked.

"No need to King River. It was my duty as a badass." Marco said. He turned around and walked away without looking back. Later, he arrived back home. By the next day, everybody had heard of Marco's heroic deeds and once he arrived at school, all the girls immediatly jumped on his dick. Simultaniously.

The End

Hope you enjoyed that. Of course, big shout-out to The Eternal Winter for inspiring me to write this artistic beauty. Love your story m9!