So, kinda funny how this became a thing. Lily has been getting on my case (reasonably since I have the attention span of a cat on crack) for creating new stories while leaving a couple dozen unfinished. When I told her I had a new idea she rightfully got annoyed with me until I told her what it was.

Apparently, this concept was her secret poison and she'd been writing it out in her head way before I had the idea so she was completely on board for it.

Irony, what a tempestuous mistress.

So anyway, Fem!Lelouch which shouldn't be a surprise for anyone who has read my fics before, finding out she is pregnant and thus derailing the Zero Requiem.

Now the world has to face a Demon Empress and her Knight of Zero who now have a reason to bring humanity to heel and behave decently for their newborn daughter.

It outta be a blast =)

Once again, thanks to Lady Lily Anne for being an enabling partner in crime and amazing co-author.

The ruler of the world, the most powerful human being who had ever lived, someone fully capable of wiping out entire civilizations with the single push of a button at her whim, was currently freaking the hell out.

"Shit shit shit shit shit, how could I let this happen?!" Empress Luluka vi Britannia muttered as she paced back and forth in her staterooms loo.

She would never say anything as inane as "How could this have ever happened!" like some stupid teenage bimbo in an after school television special advocating abstinence or some such tripe. She knew how it happened, in the heat of the moment she'd told Suzaku not to pull out, and he hadn't, and while it had been amazing at the time...ugh...

Why, why had the only condom they had available at the time have to be one he had kept in his wallet for like three years, and was very much expired...

Regardless the point still stood...

"How could I let this happen! I'm supposed to be smarter than this!" Glaring down at the strip of plastic in her hand with its bright blue plus sign declaring to the entire world she was pregnant the Empress felt truly lost for words.

So instead of speaking coherently she decided to begin babbling.

"I mean do I tell Suzaku? No of course I don't tell Suzaku, 'Hey buddy, not only are you murdering your lover on her orders but you're going to kill your unborn child! That's great right?' Fuck... If I don't tell him it would be easier, but if they do an autopsy after the assassination they will find out which means he'll find out and he'll have to live with the fact that I hid it from him and live with the guilt. Then that would lead him to some contrary Shakespearen true love lost bullshit and he would likely end up offing himself fucking up the entire plan and making everything we plotted for completely and utterly pointless! Well there is his 'Live' Geass but I suppose he could trick Jeremiah into removing it and...GAH! "

She punched the wall.

"FUCK!"

It really hurt her hand.

"This is why I have Suzaku to punch things for me," she groused to herself letting out a tired sigh while shaking out her stinging hand before catching her reflection out of the corner of her eye.

Glaring at the mirror, and wincing once she saw the forlorn visage staring back at her Luluka finally left the loo and prowled into the main room while throwing the pregnancy test on the dining table. All the while completely ignoring the insufferable yet oddly endearing immortal lounging on her bed eating pizza in the process.

Luluka opened her fridge and grabbed a bottle of champagne, after studying it a moment she finally let out a tired sigh, "Well old man I'll give you this, I'm starting to understand why you were such a goddamn lush..."

Peeling back the foil around the bottles neck, and fumbling about with the weird wire thing keeping the cork in place Luluka eventually placed the bottle on the counter and stared at it, of course her reverie had to be interrupted by she who smells of mozzarella and garlic.

"So, pregnant then?"

C.C.'s tone was cold and cordial as always, but her smile was playful which obviously meant bad things for Luluka.

Said Empress managed to growl out, "Yes," through gritted teeth as C.C. hopped up on the counter, laughing at her contriteness as always, of course.

"Ah Fate truly hates you doesn't it? Or perhaps you're its favorite chew toy?"

Luluka snapped her reply out as she glared at her accomplice, "Is this all fun and games to you witch? Does seeing us mere mortals suffer eternally bring you amusement?"

C.C. sat in silence for a few moments as she acquired a rather contemplative look before turning back to her contractor with a sad smile marring her otherwise pristine visage.

"Usually, yes. Not you though, I happen to rather like you quite a bit. You remind me so much of George, though you have a Geass working for you, rather than having one working against you like he had to deal with. Washington very nearly won regardless, such an intense man..."

"Wonderful," Luluka spat out as she kept staring at the bottle before her, eventually the lime haired immortal spoke up again, not that the Empress had wanted to hear her ramblings anymore than she already had.

As if C.C. cared regardless.

"Honestly I'm just curious what you're going to do about the Zero Requiem, are you still going to go through with it? Are you capable of lying to your paramour to trick him into not only murdering the woman he loves but his own child?"

Luluka remained silent for a time before she finally sighed and replied with, "You know what C.C.?"

The immortal tilted her head to the side while making a 'Hmm?' noise before her contractor turned her dull gaze to her own.

"I have no bloody idea what I'm doing anymore," and with that she popped the cork on the bottle and began to chug its contents.

The Knight of Zero, one Suzaku Kururugi, was to put it bluntly exhausted beyond all measures. Though technically 'dead' to the world at large his death had not actually been declared yet as The Plan required, and for some reason Luluka used this as an excuse to have him micromanage everything she didn't have time for.

He was fairly certain this was the end result of him talking her into wearing that little black number a couple months back, worth it, at the time at least, but right now?

Ugh.

Approaching the Empress's stateroom Suzaku used his keycard to open the door and walked in on something he rather hadn't expected. Namely his lover passed out on the floor with a bottle in hand while her immortal confidant sat beside her gently running her hand up and down the prone royal's back.

"Umm... Pardon the crassness of my attitude, but what the literal fuck happened here?"

No rewards for eloquence but Suzaku felt he was due a pass considering the circumstances.

C.C. unsurprisingly was rather unhelpful as she quickly stood up and smirked at the confused knight before replying.

"Well, she just received some rather distressing news, but now that you are here, she is your problem, ta~!"

With that the immortal witch flounced past Suzaku and disappeared out the door.

He felt his eye twitch a bit before shaking his head and walked to the prone Empress pausing just long enough to scoop her into his arms. Sighing he carried her to their bedroom and placed her on the bed, frowning a bit as he had to wrest the mostly empty bottle of wine from her hand despite her being blackout drunk.

Luluka. Drunk.

He was honestly having a hard time conceptualizing the idea alone, she despised alcohol primarily because her father was rather over indulgent along with finding the idea of poisoning herself repugnant. So what the hell happened to cause her to go this far, especially since her tolerance was around that of a newborn kitten?

These thoughts were quickly derailed as she began to ramble near incoherently, unfortunately for the both of them Suzaku was able to decipher it well enough.

"S'not fair," she muttered, "'m like the worst person in the world to be a mother..." Suzaku froze up but the Empress kept speaking regardless. "Havta pay for my sins ya know? Killed my baby sister, didn't wanna do it but I did it. Took over the world, didn't really wanna but I hadda do it... Can't tell Suzu, fuck everything up, juzz gonna hafta die with the knowledge ands hope for the best..."

Suzaku sat there a moment before he leaned down and whispered a single sentence to the inebriated Empress, "What can't you tell Suzaku?"

Luluka giggled, then sobbed, then broke down crying holding onto her pillow like life preserver. Eventually her glassy eyed gaze returned to his as she let out an exhausted laugh.

"He's gonna be a daddy!"

And just like that, The Zero Requiem was no longer a viable option to the Knight of Zero.

Edit: Mildly irritated I have to point this out, no she didn't kill Nunnally, the 'Baby Sister' in question is Euphemia who do recall was younger than her. Seriously stop jumping to conclusions.

Writing drunk people is annoying, hope I pulled it off the only other real experience I've had with it they were digitally synthesizing it or it was Emperor Chuck being Emperor Chuck who kinda wrote himself.

Anywho, we're thinking this is a three shot, so enjoy and please review!