Chapter 19: Love

Nessie's POV

To say I was in trouble as soon as we got home would be the understatement of the century. Oh Carlisle and Esme were furious when I informed them that I had lied about where I was going. Then when they found out out that I met up with Carlos and everything that happened afterward their anger only intensified.

I didn't even care though. After all if I wouldn't have gone out those friends of his wouldn't have taken Adam the way they had. Thank God Jacob was able to get him back. I held my son more tightly. Just the thought of losing my baby boy scared the hell out of me.

Adam cried a little and I held onto him even tighter. I wondered if my almost four month old boy was as shaken by this experience as I was. I hoped not. He was too young to understand what was happened and to me that was a blessing.

I couldn't go to sleep that night without taking some kind of sleeping aid because I was still a nervous wreck. I thought I knew what fear was but it was until I became a mother that I truly understood fear. The idea of anything happening to my son scared the living crap out of me.

Once the sleeping aids finally kicked in I was able to get some sleep. I woke up early the next morning with my heart racing. I'd just had a nightmare where my son had been taken from me and when I found him he was dead. I had just seen his lifeless body drained of blood and woke up with a start.

I immediately got out of bed and went to check on him in the crib. When he wasn't there I started panicking even more. I raced down the stairs in a panic only to find that Adam was sound asleep in Jacob's arms.

I calmed down and smiled at the sight of Jacob sitting on the couch with my baby fast asleep in his arms. I knew then that he was safe. After what Jacob did last night I knew that if there was anyone I could trust with the safety of my son it would be him. That only made me love Jacob even more.

"Hey Jake," Jake's head snapped up when he heard my voice.

"Oh hi Nessie. I didn't think you'd be up for awhile still,"

"Had a nightmare," I said. "Those usually wake me up pretty early. Why do you have Adam? Is he okay?" I tried to hide the panic that began to creep up on me but I failed miserably.

"Relax Nessie he's fine," Jacob reassured. "I heard him crying earlier and went to check on him. Turns out he just needed a diaper change and a bottle. Then he fell asleep in my arms,"

"Oh," I sighed. "You know you could've just woken me up so I could take care of him,"

"and why exactly would I do that?" Jacob looked at me like I'm crazy. "You're battling cancer and what happened last night took its toll on you. You need your sleep you know?" he stated. "Besides I love this little guy,"

"You do?"

"How can I not when I love his mother?"

I was stunned into silence. I couldn't even detangle my thoughts long enough to form a sentence.

"You what?"

"I'm not going to lie Nessie. I'm in love with you. I can't hide it. No matter how you feel about me just know that I'm in love with you,"

Holy shit. I felt like I was going to hyperventilate. I loved Jacob but admitting that would only make it more real. I was in love with two guys.

"I-I love you to,"

Now it was Jacob who was silent.

"You what me to?"

"I'm in love with you to but I I'm in love with Carlos as well," I hated that I had to be honest but what choice did I have?

"You love me to," Jacob said the words slowly. Like he was still in shock. "But you love him to?"

"I can't lie to you Jacob,"

"I wouldn't want you to either Nessie. Never be afraid to be honest with me about your feelings. You love me to and right now that's enough. It's hope that maybe, just maybe I have a chance at winning your heart completely,"

It felt odd to finally admit my feelings. To just lay everything out for him to see. Jacob looked happier and I felt happier.

"Do you want more children Nessie?" Jacob asked when Adam began to stir.

"Yes," the answer was an easy one. "What about you?"

"I've always wanted to have kids with the right girl and I really do believe that girl is you Nessie,"

"What?"

"I would love to have kids with you someday if you ever chose to give me that honor,"

I had to take a few deep breaths. I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't want to have a child with Jacob one day. If he was indeed the guy I chose in the end.

Loving Jacob was an odd thing. I'd always been so sure of Carlos but then Jacob comes along and changes everything. If I were really honest with myself I'd say that my heart is leaning a little more toward Jacob at the moment.

"I hope I'm not scaring you with all this right now. Look why don't we talk about something else?"

"Where is everyone else?" I quickly jumped on the idea of changing the subject.

"They're trying to find a tutor for you actually,"

"a what?"

"You never went to school, right?"

"No but I self taught myself how to read and write. I'm far from being educated though,"

"Well Carlisle and Esme want to hire a tutor, or rather a private teacher, to come and teach you everything you missed out on in school. I mean have you ever thought about going to college? Or having a career?"

"Not exactly because the opportunities aren't exactly there for kids like me,"

"and that's exactly what they want to change for you,"

"Okay this is too much. They take me in. They bail me out of jail. They hire a good lawyer to defend me and now this?"

"You have no idea how much they care Nessie,"

Actually I did. If they really were my family than I did understand. What I didn't understand is why they were taking so long to come out and tell me the whole truth about everything.

"So what do you want to do today?"

"We're cant go anywhere today," Jacob said. "Carlisle and Esme have decided the perfect consequence to what you did last night would be to ground you. That doesn't mean we can't have any fun here though,"

Adam giggled at something I was not privy to. I smiled. Even if I was stuck in this house I was here with my two favorite guys in the whole world.

At least in here Adam was safe. Memories of what happened last night and the ensuing nightmare I had flashed through my mind.

Adam wailed and looked at me with fright. Like if he'd seen exactly what just went through my mind.

"Shh it's okay there," Jake said in a soothing voice as he started rocking him. "That's odd I don't know what startled him,"

I didn't say anything.

"You okay Nessie?"

"Yeah I'm fine,"

"Okay why don't we go eat breakfast because I'm starving. Want pancakes?"

"Yeah pancakes sounds good,"

"Here do you mind talking him?" I took Adam from Jacob's arms. I put Adam down on the floor and gave him some toys to play with.

"We're also not allowed to go anywhere at night anymore," Jacob said as he dug through the kitchen cabinets looking for the necessary pancake ingredients.

"Why not?"

"Too dangerous out there. We decided it collectively as a family after you went to sleep last night. Been way too many killings and disappearances around here for comfort. In fact I've called asked some friends of mine to come help us keep vigilant,"

"You've called friends over just to keep vigilant?" That didn't make any sense to me.

"Seth and Leah are really nice. You'll like them. They'll be over later,"

I kept a close watch on my son as he played. I loved watching him. I couldn't wait to see him start crawling. How beautiful it would be when he crawled to me. That wouldn't happen for a few more months though.

Adam looked at me with more curiosity than he ever had before. Then suddenly, with coordination I was sure was impossible for a baby that's not even four months old yet, he turned himself over. The he started crawling. He crawled over to me.

"Mama,"

I was shocked more than anything else because I was 100 percent sure that at three months he was still way too young for either crawling or talking.

"Mama want up,"

I was in a daze as I picked him up.

I was only broken out of my shock when I heard Jacob's voice.

"Nessie the pancakes are ready. What do you want to drink?"

"Milk please,"

I shook my head. I think I was more scared than awed by my baby's actions. I didn't know I'd tell Jacob or not say anything lest he think I'm crazy. I decided on the latter.

I sat down at the table and Jacob handed me my plate along with the milk and a cup of some red type of drink.

"I thought this was a special type of vitamins for babies,"

"It's for adults too actually. Carlisle wants you to start drinking it as well. Adam really loves it mixed in with his milk,"

I took a sip and the sweet taste saturated my taste buds. It was easily the most delicious thing I've ever tasted before. I swallowed it all in just a few gulps.

"Why aren't you having any?"

"That's really not my cup of tea,"

"If it's good for you why not?" I asked before stuffing a forkful of pancake into my mouth.

"No thanks,"

I just laughed. I swear being with Jacob was as easy as breathing. Every moment spent in his presence filled me with happiness. Loving Jacob was easy.

I nearly had a heart attack when the doorbell rang. "It's just my friends," Jacob said: I wanted to slap myself for being so jumpy but after last night and the nightmare...I shuddered.

Adam gave me a look of fright again and I immediately shook the thought from my head. Something telling me it was best not to think about that stuff in his presence.

"Mama,"

There it was. That word again. "Mama scared,"

Oh I was certainly scared all right. I picked him up without saying a word.

I heard Jacob talking at the door and I went to go take a peek. The boy and girl looked Native American like Jacob. Since he said they were friends I assumed they were from the same five. The boy looked very happy for some reason while the girl looked like she was in a really bad mood.

Then she happened to glance at us. As soon as her eyes met my Adam's something changed. The bad mood she was in definitely vanished. It was replaced with a certain happiness that I could not understand. She looked at him like if he were the center of the universe which freaked me out. Then she dropped onto one knee and kneeled.

"Oh no..." Jacob said.

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