Part III

Harvey knocks on her door. He steadies himself as he waits for it to open once he hears her shuffling towards him. He thinks of the first time he knocked. When he came looking for some therapy with an excuse about not being able to sleep, just so he could get his hands on some anti-anxiety pills. He shakes the sickening feeling when it hits him how this relationship began in the first place.

Because he couldn't tell Donna how he loved her.

"Harvey." she greets as she opens the door, face blank but her tone surprised, as if she'd given up hope of him showing up.

"Can I come in?"

"That depends on what you're here to say." Paula responds bluntly, in no mood for a drawn out breakup if that's what he was here for.

"Can't I come in a anyway?"

"Harvey, there's really no need to drag this out. You obviously have your answer. So just be a man and tell me." She folds her arms under her chest, feeling quite vulnerable now.

He swallows, looks her dead in the eye, and thinks of that look in the redhead's eye as he left her office half an hour previous, when he opens his mouth.

"I choose her." he nods, clenching his jaw as her hardened expression falters somewhat, her nose wrinkling when her brows furrow.

"Right." she says, voice lightly trembling as she nods slowly. "Well, I guess that's that then."

"Paula.." he pleads, needing to explain things, if not to ease his own guilt, "she's been the one constant in my life. I can't just drop her because you want me to. She's my best friend."

"Friend?" she scoffs, the word feeling like a smack in the face.

"Yes." he responds, plain-faced, knowing where this was going.

"Harvey when the hell are you going to wake up and realise that there's nothing friendly between you two?"

"Paul-"

"No! I'm not letting you justify yourself just so you can feel better about ending things."

She got it too right and it only makes him feel worse.

"That's not what I was doing."

"Do you think for one second, that if you and Donna were just friends, that we would even been stood here?" She asks rhetorically, her head shaking at him while her hands wave about. "Actually! If you and Donna were just friends, we never would have met in the first place! I let myself forget that time and time again, because I hated how true it was."

The fact that she's right about that, without even knowing what forced Donna to leave him in the first place only screams at him further that he's making the right decision.

"What are you saying?"

"You know exactly what I'm saying, Harvey. The question is whether you're ever going to be brave enough to say it to the right woman."

He stares at her then, taking in her words. She was hitting each nail on the head. There was nothing he could add.

"I'm sorry, Paula." he murmurs after an extended silence, eyes expressing his regret at how he has handled things.

"Don't be," she says in defeat, too exhausted to even shout, or cry, or even care as much anymore, "I should have seen this coming." she scoffs lightly. "It was inevitable."

"No, this isn't on you."

He tries his best to console her, still not quite seeing how much she was to blame in all of this too. Maybe someday he would be able to look back, and realise the full extent of what exactly happened in her office behind those doors.

She looks to her side, pulling her set of keys off the table beside her. She removes the one he gave her and hands it back to him without further delay. He takes it from her without protest. She frowns lightly.

"It was never really mine, was it?"

He looks down at the key in his hand, thumb caressing the metal as he inhales before looking back up at her, his face telling her all she needed to know.

"Goodbye, Harvey."

"Goodbye, Paula." he replies before she shuts the door, and he feels bad about how much lighter his shoulders feel.

…

Amid the 'inevitable' breakup, Donna had taken herself to Rachel's office. An apology ready at the tip of her tongue. She opens the door and stands there with a sorry smile, her face still looking just as hurt as when Rachel had left her.

"I'm sorry, Rach." she begins, her head tilting as she gauges her friend's reaction, her hand still holding the door open as she stands.

"Donna, I know you are, it's fine." Rachel whispers, closing over the folder she had in front of her. "But can you please just tell me what's going on? Did Harvey do something?"

"No," she chuckles mirthlessly before her eyes stare into space and her brows heighten, "I did."

She looks to Rachel, who was now more confused and intrigued than ever. She shuts the door closed behind her and turns to face her again.

"I kissed him."

"What!?" Rachel whispers loudly, completely taken aback by the admission. "Why?"

Donna makes her way to the chairs opposite Rachel, taking comfort in one of them as she flashes her eyes to the ceiling, lightly shaking her head as she sits down, her voice becoming slightly higher.

"Just- I had to know."

"Know what?" she asks, even though she could take a guess.

Donna inhales, tongue poking the inside of her cheek, her eyes looking down at her fidgeting hands resting on her lap.

"If there was really anything more there."

"And?"

Donna looks up, her face answers for her but she vocalises it anyway. Because she hasn't talked about it truthfully with anyone since it happened over three weeks ago now. And she needs a friend. She also needs to hear herself tell the truth. For her own sanity.

"There was."

Rachel sighs. Pressing her lips together, she offers Donna a comforting smile, one formed with warmth and empathy.

"How did he take it?"

She chooses to avoid the whole story. It still feels too raw and she's tired. With a deep inhale, she begins to fill in the blanks for the brunette.

"Badly, at first. Until I told him I didn't feel anything when I kissed him."

"But you just told me-"

"I lied to him, Rachel." she lets out a humorless laugh at herself having just scolded Rachel earlier for implying that she was a liar. "Turns out I'm a pretty practiced liar when it comes to Harvey.. and how I feel about him."

"Is that why you lied to him? Because he wasn't taking it well?"

"Partially." Donna inhales. "I guess I wanted to give him an out. He had been treating me like shit all day and I panicked. I wanted to press reset because I felt like I was losing him. And then when I told him why I did it -because of how blurry are lines are, he told me that doesn't mean he wants more. And that was my chance to backtrack, and I took it." she exhales.

"Donna.. I'm so sorry.."

"But then-" she cuts herself short, brows lowering as she thinks.

"Then what?"

"He actually admitted that the kiss affected him." She looks back down at her lap, shaking her head at her next words. "But by then it was too late, I had already lied. And he was bottling up again soon..so I still gave him the out. And he took it."

"So he doesn't think you have feelings for him?" Rachel asks to clarify.

"Nope." she smirks in defeat. "In fact, we even hugged and made up. But now.." Donna trails off, her mind roaming back to their painful row.

"Now what..?"

"Paula gave him an ultimatum." She looks up and sighs, exasperation evident in her features.

"Let me guess." Rachel sighs in disgust. "You or her."

"Yep." Donna widens her eyes, pressing her lips together as her chest rises.

"That's ridiculous. He's never gonna choose her over you." The young lawyer frowns before offering a comforting smile of reassurance. "You have nothing to be worried about, Donna."

"I told him to choose her, Rachel."

"What?" she whispers loudly.

"She's his girlfriend.." the redhead tries to reason, still not feeling fully convinced that the fact was enough herself.

"But you're Donna!"

"What was I supposed to do? Sit back and watch another one of his relationships crumble? I want him to be happy. And having to choose would have destroyed him. So-"

"You gave him an easy out ..again." Rachel mumbles, as if somewhat unimpressed at her friend's selfless actions.

"Yes."

"I don't understand.. is he just supposed to not talk to you at work anymore? That's impossible you're COO of this firm and he's managing partn-" Rachel stops before she can finish. Donna's sweet smile and tilted crown telling her what she was missing thus far. "No..Donna."

"It's what I came by to tell you ..after I apologised."

Rachel starts becoming more frantic the longer she sits with the idea of Donna leaving.

"You can't leave. It's not right. You belong here and if Harvey can't see that-"

Donna butts in to set her friend straight.

"He does see that. He said the same thing. But I told him it has to be done. And if I know Harvey.. he's already trying to think of a way to keep both me and Paula in his life…"

"So..?"

"So…" Donna sighs, wondering how foreign her next words would feel rolling off her tongue, "today was my last day working at the firm." Very foreign, it turns out. She may as well have been speaking a different language.

Rachel leans forward, brows messed in disbelief, especially at the suddenness of it all. "Today!?"

"I've already found a new job at a firm in the city and Gretchen agreed to help me find a replacement, and assign some of my workload to capable staff until we find the right person."

Everything was sounding so formal, so robotic. Nothing about this felt right, for either of them.

"But you're the right person, Donna."

"Not anymore. Not if it means I'm standing in the way.."

Rachel sighs, seeing how much the redhead had already made up her mind.

"I can't believe you're leaving.."

"It's fine, Rachel. I'm fine. I've had the week to sit with it and I think the change will do me good." She forces a smile, desperate to sound as chirpy and positive as possible without it being overkill.

But any amount would have been overkill for Rachel at this stage because nothing about this was any way positive in her mind.

"We're still gonna see each other, Rach. It's just a change of job, I'm not moving away or anything." Donna offers her an awkward smile, desperate to lighten the mood.

"Doesn't feel like it." mumbles the brunette.

"Just give it time."

Rachel furrows her brows in thought. "Harvey has no idea, does he?"

"No." she breathes out. "And I would like it to stay that way."

"What you're just gonna leave tonight without telling him?"

"He's already gone for the night, he won't be here tomorrow so that gives me until Monday, which by then he will have patched things up with Paula. And if I'm already gone, he can't ruin it by trying to get me to stay."

"Still doesn't make any of this right."

She nods in agreement, before sighing. "Look, Rachel, I know leaving a letter isn't ideal. And he deserves better than that. But, it's the only way."

"I know.." Rachel whispers, "I just wish it wasn't."

Donna sees the disapproval, of the entire situation, in her friends entire expression. She leans forward somewhat. Her hand clasping over the younger woman's as she stretches it across her desk, before giving her a tight squeeze as both of them look into tearful eyes.

…

Harvey was going to head home after leaving Paula's for the last time. Perhaps stay up for or an hour or two drinking scotch before he passed out. But he found himself wanting to see her. To tell her. He figured he'd try the firm first, it was almost 10 p.m and she did mention having a lot of work to finish so it wouldn't be unlikely that she was still there.

As he approaches their offices he sees hers is empty.

Rachel's heading home for the night and she stops in her tracks when she sees him looking into Donna's office, clearly disappointed. She worries that he'll ask her where she is and she'll have to lie. Then she wonders if he's already found the letter.

When he turns his head, she smiles at him and picks up the pace again until she's standing three feet from him.

"Has Donna left?"

"Uh, yeah I think she's gone home for the night." she exhales before nodding. He looks so disheartened that she just has to ask. "Have you been to your office?"

"What? No, why?" he quizzes suspiciously.

"Oh nothing," she waves her hand between them, eyes momentarily closing, "I think Mike just left some paperwork for the Fitzsimmons case, I'm sure it'll be fine until Monday."

Harvey furrows his brows, trying to get a read on her as best possible. She was definitely acting strange.

"Rachel, is there something you're not telling me?"

She desperately wants to tell him. To knock some sense into him he can go after Donna and convince her not to leave. But her loyalty to the redhead is stronger than her anger towards Harvey. She doesn't tell him. But she doesn't try to overly convince him everything is okay either.

"No." she says plainly before looking into Donna's office, sadness enveloping her eyes. "Everything is fine."

He nods at her word, still somewhat unconvinced.

"Good night, Harvey." she says lastly, before walking past him.

"Good night." he murmurs, eyes now set on Donna's desk.

He spots something then. Or rather the lack of some things. How her desk seems emptier. Not by much, but noticeable to him.

He steps inside the doorway and looks around. He feels a light chill run down his spine and he swallows, his fingers twitching by his sides.

He steps back out, deciding he'd give her a call on the way home when something Rachel said about Mike leaving paperwork for him just didn't feel right. Tilting his head he looks into his own office, eyes landing on his desk, lightly lit up by the corner lamp. No files. He looks away again when the corner of his eye catches a white envelope as he double-takes his desk.

With a heavy chest, he waltzes into the room. From some feet away he spots his name scrawled on the envelope and finds himself hoping the writing belonged to Mike.

But his fears are confirmed when he picks it up and examines it closer. It was undeniably hers. Elegant and natural. He had never hated the sight of her hand-writing until right this moment.

Harvey.

He rips it open, already guessing the type of letter that he was going to find inside. He pulls out both pieces of paper. One was typed, he quickly scans it, deciphering it as her official resignation letter. He drops it onto his desk along with the envelope and clutches the one written in pen.

Again, he sees his name.

He hears her voice as he reads, his blood rushing to his brain, causing a migraine to form, his throat feeling dry as he inhales.

Harvey,

I hope you can understand why I did this, the way that I did it. Maybe not now, but some day. I couldn't stay around and watch you have to let me go, which would have harmed our friendship, or try to get me to stay, which would only jeopardise your current relationship.

I've only ever wanted you to be happy. And if that means I have to leave, then who am I to stand in the way?

I have found another job in the city. I start next week. So, I'll still be around. This isn't a goodbye. It's a thank you. For over twelve wonderful years.

Love always,

Donna.

The letter crinkles in his left hand as he clenches his fist. He feels his vision start to blur and fears he might be about to have another panic attack. The first one since she came back to his desk. Until he blinks and stray tears shoot down his face, clearing up his vision somewhat. His chest still feels heavy though and he knows if he stays and dwells long enough, he'll work himself into a state and he won't be able to move or breathe or think.

The next few minutes are a blur. Hallways. Passersby. Elevators. Buttons. Lobby.

Harvey dashes out onto the street, letter still in hand. He doesn't even realise that yet. Subconsciously needing something to hold onto, something of hers.

He hails down a cab, not even considering having to wait for Ray to pull around.

He jumps in, rattles off her address like it's his own name and sinks back into the leather seat. Only now realising how out of breath he was.

As the city lights stream through the windows of the dimly-lit cab, he glances down at the paper in his hands. Shaking his head in disbelief that this is what it has all come down to. They're Harvey and Donna, this should not be happening. He only blames himself. For not being honest all these years. For not being fully honest the day after they kissed.

He doesn't know how he's going to tell her all of this when he gets there. All he knows is that he's going to tell her everything.

…

Donna's sitting on her couch, drowning any doubts she had with red wine. She licks her lips, the pungent taste, and accompanying vibrations the alcohol begins to hum through her veins, still not enough to distract from her thoughts, however. Not even for a second.

Now that she was home, what she had done had fully hit her. There was no more Specter Litt in her life. No more Specter. Not they way he used to be in her life anyway. He belonged to someone else now. No more 6 a.m or midnight calls. No more laughing, drinking or flirting. No more them.

Nothing could have ever prepared her for how empty, and numb, she would feel after letting her soulmate walk out of her life, and she his.

In the place he had only been a handful of times, she still felt him in the walls, the furniture, the decor -her bed. Each time he visited holding a significant memory for them both. He was never just there for a friendly chat.

So when she hears his set of knocks pounding against her front door, she knows. Somehow, he ended back up at the firm before his scheduled Monday morning, and now he was here.

She swallows, releases a sigh and leans forward, calmly placing her glass of red on the coffee table. He was going to be hurting, and perhaps lash out and say things he didn't mean. So she would have to try her best to anchor him down, remain focused on the facts. That she can't stay at the firm a second longer if it means his relationship is at risk because of her being there.

"Donna." He knocks again, throat full of impatience as he speaks, she can all but hear his heart pounding. "I know you're in there."

"I'm coming." she mutters before taking a second to gather herself at the opposite side of the door. The last threshold between them and what undeniably felt like their ultimate discussion. This was it, either way. She just knew.

She swings the door open, her hair responding to the gentle breeze. She steps outside of the door so she feels more in control of what was about to go down. But when her eyes met his she finds herself blindsided to say the least.

The most defeated, exhausted and pained version of Harvey Specter that she has ever seen, stood before her. The hurt and fear oozing from his eyes took affect on the rest of his face, morphing him into someone she almost didn't recognise.

They share a knowing stare, before he lets the initial relief of seeing her simmer out, so that annoyance can build back up again. He holds up the folded letter in his hands. His narrowed eyes shouting 'really, Donna?'

She shuts her eyes briefly, overcome with guilt.

"Harvey, I-"

"No. I don't want your explanation or even an apology. I know exactly why you did it. I'm just here to get you to take it back."

He holds out the letter. She looks at it, realises it's the personal one she left for him and not her official resignation letter. Deep down, he was asking her to take back her decision to leave his life more so than her decision to leave the firm.

"I can't do that, Harvey." she replies as comfortingly as possible in such an uncomfortable situation.

"Why not?" he asks, voice bubbling over with emotion. He feels numb. She was standing right in front of him but she may as well have been in Timbuktu. For he's never felt further apart from the woman who was always less than fifteen feet, or a phone call away.

"The letter explains why." she smiles sadly, her teary eyes mimicking his now.

"You're a coward." he blurts out, child-like and completely controlled by the emotions he never learned to control. Not when it came to her.

She wasn't going to let that phase her. She knew it was partially true. And besides, if she was able to call him as much when she needed to in the past, she figured he should be able to do the same. Especially when he's hurting to this extent.

She takes the letter from him. If only to diffuse his anger.

"You couldn't even say it to my face, Donna."

As prepared as she thought she was for a harrowing show down, the heartbreak evident in his voice all too easily dents her emotional armor, as if it's suddenly made of wood instead of steel. And not even strong wood like oak or ash, but something weak and feeble, like pine.

"What, so you could have forced me to stay and told Paula that you're not choosing?"

"I didn't tell her I wasn't choosing, Donna, I-"

She cuts him off, unable to hear out loud that he chose her. "It doesn't matter, if I had told you I was resigning this soon you never would have dealt with it the way you needed to-"

"But I did." he informs her firmly, stepping an inch closer as his eyes search hers for any hint of regret in her actions. "I did choose."

Donna still can't see what he's telling her, still, as always, completely blinded by her disbelief that the man could be in love with her.

She presses her lips into a smile that she knows is badly orchestrated but no matter how hard she tries, her acting chops aren't up to their usual standard this time. It was always easier when they were in the midst of some verbal brawl, but this was too calm, too painful, too raw. There was no stage here, not even a stage-light. Just the two of them, left in the dreary shadows of their unspoken love for one another.

"Good." she nods, thumb subconsciously stroking the letter she had only finished writing some two or three hours prior. "I'm happy for you."

"So am I." he nods back.

Donna looks down at the floor, scanning the three feet gap between them, mindlessly looking at his leather shoes. She can't even think of what she wants to say next as her heart pinches. She hates that it does. She told him to choose her after all.

"Because I chose you."

She looks back up at him, mouth lightly parted, her long brows lowering in a mixture of confusion, sadness, and hope.

"Always." he whispers, his face solemn as he gauges her reaction.

"Harvey.." she breathes out, completely stumped.

"So.." Harvey nods, "you can come back to the firm now."

He hates himself for mentioning the business side of it so soon. He wants her to come back to him. But the words are still stuck in his trachea, avoiding his tongue like the plague. The courage he had to tell her everything in the cab ride over is creeping back down, away from his heart, back to the pits of his stomach, churning away until it was at home again and hidden away, keeping him safe from losing her lest he risk it all and tell her how he felt.

This was the only pattern he knew when it came to the emotional depths of their relationship. Losing her. Or fearing losing her. Then fighting to get her back. Usually back to the firm. Like when she was fired, or when she left to work for Louis. And each time he did, he got her back. But this time felt stranger, different. Like he shouldn't be fighting to bring her home, but fighting to tell her that she is his home.

"Harvey, I'm not sure you should have done that. You were just acting on impulse," she holds up the letter, not adding things up quite easily as usual, before he cuts her off.

"I hadn't even read your letter before I saw her. I made my mind up the second she asked me to choose, Donna. I just let time get in the way and mess with what I knew I had to do. And when we hugged tonight, it all just hit home and I was certain that I had to choose.." He exhales heavily before looking her straight in the eye. "You."

She's shocked. But not overly so. She should have seen this coming. The way he was with her in her office beforehand. He wanted her to tell him to choose her, again.

"Harvey, look, it's been a long night. We both just need to sit on things for awhile."

"You're saying you don't wanna come back.." he nods, brows knitting with frustration, at himself. "Because of me."

"I'm saying..a lot has happened tonight and you need to go home and think about what you really want."

Of course, she's still worried he made the wrong choice, and will regret it in the morning.

"I need you." he chokes out as he corrects her. "And I'm here because I want you."

Her chest tightens at not only his words, but how he composed them, the tone he used for them. Both hands now gripping the paper, she stares at him. She wonders if this it it. The moment. Their moment.

But she stares too long apparently, and he can't take it any longer. Incorrectly reading her. Thinking she doesn't want him to want her. Maybe she didn't lie about her feelings after all. Perhaps she really did feel nothing when she kissed him.

Not even caring to hide his anger and disappointment, he turns away shaking his head, his tail firmly between his legs as his back hits her vision. Physically and mentally unable for the rejection he thought was coming. He was drained. He was going home to drown in all the scotch he owned -and then some- this weekend.

"Do you wanna come in?"

Her words wake him up and in one swift move he's facing her again. The blankness of his broken face somehow telling her so much. An old book that only see could read.

He swallows down the lump in his throat formed with the relief that they may actually be moving forward -tonight. His glassy eyes bore through her entire being as she wills her top lip to remain steady.

"I'd like that." he says softly, his Donna-voice layered with a hint of something else. A form of vulnerability that even she has never heard from him before.

The left corner of her mouth cracks into a smile, her head nodding towards the door as her gaze remains fixed on him.

She eyes him as he passes her by, cautiously yet gladly stepping into her apartment. She sighs before closing the door behind her and following him into the living area.

Without having to tell him and without her having to ask, he sits on the couch and she gets him a glass. Pouring him a drink when she returns from the kitchen.

Donna hands him the wine, their fingers graze, causing her to look down at him to find him staring up at her. She smiles and releases her grip before picking up her own glass and sitting down beside him. Just like the last time they did it. Except this time there was no pre-wine dinner, no laughing or chatting or thanking. This time they had skipped straight to the end of that godforsaken night, straight to the feelings and heartache and -forbidden love.

She laughs inwardly when she realises it's as if they've just hit resume on that night. But she has no intentions on asking the same questions she did then. She wasn't getting burned by the same flame twice. No matter how much of a moth she was to that very flame.

"How are you feeling?"

She's referring to the breakup and neither of them need to say it, to know. The redhead sips her wine, eyeing him while she waits for a response.

"I'm good, actually." he nods, before mirroring her drinking, not looking at her yet.

"You sure? Breakups are never easy."

"You know what?" He smirks then, looking down into his glass which he was holding between his spread legs. "This one was. Because it was the right thing to do."

Her eyes widen slightly as he looks at her. Her stomach knots and she's sure her pupils are copying his, growing larger with each passing second he lays eyes on her.

"I'm sorry, Donna." he whispers, not letting himself look away from her intense gaze for even a millisecond, he reckons that he deserves every ounce of shame he feels when he looks into the only hazel-green pair he has ever cared for. "For everything that's happened since the last time we were sat right here."

His soft voice doesn't do anything to soften the blow of his unexpected words. She shuffles a bit, subconsciously moving an inch closer as she does so. Her right knee digging into the cushion beside him as she sits on her calf, her left leg touching the floor.

She feels like less of a moth for approaching this subject now that he had brought it up first.

"Me too." she whispers, not letting him take all the blame because it wouldn't be right. "Well.. not for everything.." she smirks, tilting her head at him, acknowledging that it hasn't all been doom and gloom since he told her he loved her on a whim and dashed just as quickly.

He chuckles almost silently, looking down again for a second before turning his body to face her.

"Did you lie to me?" he asks sensitively, careful not to accuse her of being a liar, per se.

Her smile fades, she swallows and straightens her side up against the back of the couch, still facing him. She messes her brows ever so lightly. There has been so much said between them lately that she actually can't pinpoint what he's referring to. It unnerves her because now she won't have time to mask her initial reaction if needs be.

"About the kiss." he says, eyes smiling, lips straight. "Our kiss."

He doesn't need to elaborate further. She loses his gaze when she looks away on reflex, but she can still feel his stare burning through her skin. When she returns the eye-contact it's not even so anymore because he's looking at her lips. She tugs at the edge of her lower one without even knowing.

This is it. Literal moment of truth.

"Yes." she whispers with the release of a sigh, eyes glistening with the promise of fresh tears as the full impact of her lie hits her, and him. "I felt something when I kissed you," Her voice cracks, lips beginning to quiver slightly as she bites down on her bottom one before she finishes with a shakiness to her voice, "I felt everything, actually."

Donna glances down to her fingers, fidgeting with the stem of her wine glass as she nervously anticipates his response.

If she had been looking at him she would have seen his lip tug upwards into the most adorably relieved smile she's ever seen. But she feared he would be mad at first so she doesn't look at him until he's moving to put his wine glass down on the table seconds later. He turns to her then, she allows herself to glance at him.

"I lied too." he says matter-of-factly.

"About what?" she asks hoarsely.

"What it meant for me."

That doesn't mean I want more.

"Oh." That's all she can say when her chest is weighed down by the meaning behind his words, and what they were actually finally saying to each other.

His teeth peer out under his smile for the first time since they started talking.

"0 and everything, Donna." he chances, desperate to return to even the slightest shred of humorous banter they once had. "0 and everything."

She can't help but let out a watery chuckle, never amazed by his ability to crack a joke. His phrase also reminds her of the old them. And how much her heart longs for that dynamic again -just with something extra this time around, something more.

"Are you implying that you've won?" she teases in response.

"Won what?" he grins.

"Us." He returns her darkened gaze, smiling at her uncharacteristic bashfulness before she speaks again. "Me."

So, they now discover, that this is what it feels like to just let themselves fall. To let the last pieces they held onto so tightly, fit into the intricate puzzle of them.

He looks at her lips. He just wants to taste them again, to plump them up even more, taint her glossy lipstick as he parts her mouth with his tongue. What he probably would have done that night in her office had she not ran out. Or the last time they were sat right here, had he not ran out.

As he inches closer, letting himself drift towards her like he almost did the last time they shared this exact space, his hand lands on her wine glass before he quickly sets it on the coffee table beside his without looking away from her for even a second.

He's mere inches from her face now, his hand on her waist. As his thumb soothes her skin it messes with the muscles in her abdomen, each of them screaming out for his touch as her skin begins to hum under his gentle ministrations.

"Harvey, what are you doing?" she whispers so lightly she wonders if he would even hear her.

He sees her throat bob from the corner of his eye, he looks into her eyes and sends her a reassuring smile. He knows she's worried about him, that he's moving too fast after his breakup. But his expression tells her that this is the only direction he wants to move in, and the one he should have moved in a long time ago.

His right hand slides up her arm until his skin feels hers, his fingers leaving invisible prints on the back of her neck as they glide under her silky honey waves, eliciting a pleasurable sigh from her lips as a shiver runs down her spine.

"I'm showing you how." he whispers back simply.

Love me how?

As her own words echo throughout her brain, his lips gently crashing against hers do all the answering for her much awaited question. One she gave up on long ago.

Her eyes are closed straight away and all she can feel is him. His fingers. His mouth. The increasing closeness of their body proximities. All she can hear is him. His lips against hers. His breath mingling with hers as their mouths part. Consuming her entirely.

He pulls apart then, eyes shut, forehead resting on hers, heated breaths lightly gasping for air.

"This," he exhales, "this is how I have loved you since I met you, Donna."

He plants a light peck on her lips before pulling back further to get a full look at her face, her reaction.

"And this is regardless of whether or not you come back to the firm."

He wipes a stray tear from her cheek, both of them chuckling with complete mirth as she sniffs back.

"I love you, Donna Paulsen." She watches the added years almost fade from his features as he cracks a smile. "I'm in love with you." he insists. "And I think you're in love with me too."

"I think you're right." she smirks, a sweet coyness about her.

His eyes flicker with relief, and a pure form of joy they've never held before.

"Is this what you want?"

She doesn't answer him. She just quirks a brow, telling him that her answer should be obvious. When he nods lightly, she moves in closer, closing the gap yet again. Her left hand lands on his side as her fingers trace his ribs. She lets her other hand fall against his neck as he senses her more than positive response and pulls her back in for another kiss.

It's more urgent this time. Both of them sharing the hunger equally. Their mouths parting quicker, tongues not as shy. She sighs into his mouth when he tugs on her lip before soothing it over with a wet kiss. Her mind is almost a blur, her body responding to his touches on its own accord. She happily goes with its instinct though, as he lowers her down onto the cushions until her back hits the fabric and he's hovering over her.

As he ducks down to deepen their kisses his groin rolls against hers and she feels over a decade of pent up desire graze her clothed centre.

She moans. He smirks. She smirks back.

"Ten years." he lets out with a raspy sigh as his numbing lips trail her jawline.

"I know." she reassures in that tone.

He chuckles against her skin,the feel of his smirk telling her just how much he's missed her know-it-all attitude of late.

Amid her adrenaline-fueled state, she watches him quickly sit up and wriggle out of his suit jacket. He's about to remove his tie when he catches her cat-like eyes scolding him. Her hands quickly grabbing the silky item and pulling him back down on top of her.

"That's my job." she whispers seductively, and dominantly, into his ear before nipping at his lobe while he kisses as much of her flesh as he could with her turtle-neck covering most of it.

She curses herself for changing into it now. But this was the last thing she was expecting to happen tonight.

As she loosens his tie, she gives up on unknotting it entirely, her frenzied fingers becoming too impatient when his right hand finds her breast as his lips tease hers. She pulls it over his head and tosses it blindly aside. Her hands quickly moving onto his shirt now, ripping the material from his pants at the waist.

His groin tenses at her contact and his mouth parts even more so. He groans when her cool fingers greet his burning flesh, grazing upwards as they unbutton his shirt with an enthusiastic ease.

When the last button is free, her hands are gliding up his chest and over his broad shoulders until he's wriggling out of that now too. However, this time their lips remain locked the entire time. Nipping and tugging and soothing in a race to make up for lost time. Both cursing themselves for waiting this long when they both fear they may come undone before anyone is even full naked.

She feels herself growing embarrassingly wet under his grinding lower half. "Harv-ey," she pants, lashes fluttering lazily, "you remember where my bedroom is, don't you?"

He pulls his head back, looking down at intentionally pursed and incredibly raw lips, smirking eyes and an arched brow. A combination of aroused features he hasn't seen since the other time.

"How could I forget?"

"Well, this couch isn't big enough for all the things I wanna do to you," she looks at his bare chest, then his lips and finally back to his widening eyes before she whispers, "and all the things you wanna do to me.."

She doesn't have to utter another word. Next thing she knows he's pushing himself back and collecting her in his arms, pulling her up with ease until her legs were securely locked around his waist, arms crossed around the back of his neck.

She squeals with delight, kissing him as he tries to blindly carry them both to her bedroom where he can hardly wait to strip her of her clothes like she's done to half of him.

He kicks off his shoes as he enters the room, slamming the door closed behind them with his foot then. Her fingers press into his shoulder blades when he lowers her down onto the queen-sized bed, propped up ever so slightly thanks to the abundance of pillows.

He bites his lip as she looks at him, her eyes giving him his next orders. His fingers slip under her black sweater and up her smooth skin, feeling the goosebumps left behind in their wake. He helps pull off the material as she raises her arms. Soon the mass of onyx is discarded onto the floor and his eyes are absorbing the contrasting ivory canvas in front of him. He couldn't say blank canvas because of all the freckles scattered across her flesh just begging to be kissed - and because the redhead was anything but a blank canvas. However, what they were doing right now felt like one, a fresh start, both of them now dipping their brushes in the most vibrant of colors as they begin painting their new future together.

As she pulls him down, once again needing his lips on hers, his hands continue on their mission to get her naked. She sits up a bit so he can unclasp her bra and without much difficulty she feels the satisfying release of the elastic around her frame. She's free of the straps in no time at all and he throws the clothing behind him somewhere, anywhere.

The room is dimly lit, only two bedside lamps switched on, but she still wonders if there's any hazel left in his eyes when they appear to be completely devoured by the distending circumference of his pupils, swallowing back his ever-growing arousal as he stares at her breasts.

"Just as I left them." he chances before she lightly smacks his arm, unable to kill her huge grin all the same.

He dives down for more kisses and happily makes his way down her newly exposed flesh. His tongue teases her nipple after each tug. Her hands roam freely through his hair as her back arches, pushing her body into his, before they claw their way to his waist as he continues his mouth caresses all over her body. Her groin is burning and she's aching to get a move on -and to get his pants off.

Harvey smirks against her skin then, kissing his way up her long neck, feeling the pulse point in her throat throb under his lascivious lips.

He feels his pants loosen around his waist when she already unbuttons and unzips him, pulling the last of his suit ensemble over his ass and down as much of his thighs as she can reach, leaving him to free himself from the rest, tugging off his socks while he's up.

And just like that he's hard against her again, even more so now with just his boxers guarding his burgeoning erection.

She whimpers into their next kiss as he presses his crotch into hers with purpose and passion. His left hand creeping down her flesh to play with the button of her jeans, popping it open and unzipping her all for himself. She pushes her ass off the mattress so he can pull them off, which he does so, again discarding them wherever he can.

When he's pressed against her once more, grinning as she sighs with both of their centres clashing and just thin undergarments between them now, she's had enough of his teasing.

Before he knows it her right hand is dipping under his boxers and cupping his balls. He grunts under the cruelly pleasurable touch, head falling into the crook of her neck.

"Just as I left them." she pants, mischief in her tone and in her eyes too once he looks back into them, before she gives one more squeeze for good measure, sliding her grip over his now handsomely hardened shaft as she removes her hand once again.

Whatever patience he has left is quickly flying out the window now and she knows it. Both her hands grabbing the elastic waist of his boxers next and pulling them right over his cheeks. Again, he does the rest and as he crawls his way back up to her afterwards, his mouth makes trails along the insides of her thighs, bouncing from one to the other until he's reached his target.

She arches into him on reflex when his mouth teases her clothed centre. A light thong standing in the way of them and total exposure. He kisses her softly, feeling her wetness seeping through the fabric. He smiles, she wants to tell him to shut up but she can't blame him for finding it satisfying really.

"Harveyy," she sighs, eyes shutting as he continues to tease her, "as great as this is, we've got all night for that," she looks down at him when he meets her hungered gaze, her fingers digging into the sheets, "now can we just skip to the main course already?"

"So I can't enjoy my starters?" he frowns menacingly.

"You can.. just after the mains."

"And what about dessert?" he toys as he pulls her lingerie clean off, both his eyes and manhood reacting to the new view.

She watches his Cheshire Cat grin as he lowers himself on top of her once more.

"I'm pretty sure there's some whipped cream in the fridge." she blinks, a faux innocence about her eyes as her lips send him a contrasting, devilish pout.

This woman will be the death of him, he soon understands, and he couldn't be any happier about it.

His left leg parts hers, she can feel his toned thigh grate against her already throbbing bundle of nerves. He feels her moist heat on his flesh and positions himself properly in between her now, her long, smooth limbs wrapping around him.

He kisses her again before pausing, both of them acknowledging what was coming next. She smirks, her thumb grazing his jawline. He sends her a sweet smile before shuffling over her. His head almost tentatively teasing her entrance, until she feels his full length inside her moments later. Her mouth widens as she pants along with him, their bodies cemented together. He stares back and forth between her eyes and lips until he feels her adjusting to his generous size.

As she pulls him closer, he begins thrusting, soon realising how quick their first round was bound to end given the excruciating wait. He can already feel the release building inside him after just a few short minutes. Her nails scratching his skin do nothing to ease the tension in his groin, and his mouth against her neck and thumb tweaking her nipple do nothing to ease hers. The more sounds she makes the harder - both figuratively and literally - it becomes.

He rocks into her, sliding in and out, her warmth around him a more than welcome comfort after the last few days -weeks, months, years. He was only ever going to find the comfort he needed in her, that he realises beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Before he can come undone, his hand slides off of her breast and over her throbbing clit. He moans into her lips when he feels the swollen flesh beneath his thumb. She whines as he presses into her, in perfect harmony with each thrust.

She feels the release inside her building towards its final peak. A budding pressure rising from deep inside. Sending electric currents coursing through each nerve as her legs numb, yet tighten around him all the same. She's right on the edge when he pulls his hand back and finishes her off with his thrusts, harder and deeper than the ones that came before. She shows her appreciation by meeting his movements, grinding against him until the fire in her core is bursting into full flame, forcing her to double over, their chests colliding as she pulls on him for support to ride out her orgasm while her mouth sounds out his name, causing him to follow suit in no time at all as he spills into her. Both of them now coated in a cool sweat, eyes hooded and breathing all over the place.

He lets himself rest on top of her awhile, her right hand haphazardly stroking his hair as she regains her senses, his head rising and falling along with her chest.

Once he's gathered enough energy, he soon pulls back, gently sliding out of her and landing beside her, his arms pulling her close to his chest the second he hit the sheets.

"Mmm," she hums against him while her arm hugs his waist, her fingers dancing their way up his spine, "I'm definitely in love with you." she teases, referring to earlier, when she kisses her way up his chest until she reaches his chin and he's lowering his head towards her to meet her for a passionate peck.

"Oh," he mutters against her, pulling her even closer, "well just wait until dessert, you'll be infatuated with me."

She giggles into their kiss before parting from his lips, grinning up at him, feeling like as much of an idiot in love as she figured she looked.

His arm wrapped around her neck secures her to him while that hand traces the freckles on her shoulder, his eyes simultaneously tracing her now frizzed auburn waves that matched her warm smile, and soul.

"I think I already am." she sighs in defeat, brows flashing upwards, creasing her forehead lightly.

He smiles at her then, inhaling as his other hand trails down her side, the touch off-setting her nerves as she wraps her right leg over his while he plants his left between hers.

"So.." he murmurs as he catches a lock of her hair, lovingly playing with it while he stares at the tender action, "does this mean you're not leaving the firm?"

She cups his cheek so he'll look at her. Her kind eyes reassuring him, her wayward smirk teasing him.

"Only if I get a huge raise." she plays, eyes widened dramatically.

He mirrors her crooked smile then, gleefully pulling her right on top of him.

"That can be arranged, Ms Paulsen."

She leans in to collect another kiss, both feeling the need to make up for the loss of intimacy over the years.

"Ooh, maybe my name on the wall?"

"I wouldn't say no to your name beside mine someday." he plays along, she knows where he's going and the ridiculous of it does nothing to off-set the butterflies in her stomach. "Just with a hyphen."

She laughs up at him, because it's all she can do. She can however, let herself get used to this version of Harvey, of them.

"And no Litt." she frowns.

He furrows his brows back at her.

"Okay seeing as our old rule has clearly been abolished," he says with more than a hint of relief, "we need a new one."

"Oh yeah? What?" she chuckles with intrigue as she straddles him, pushing herself off of his chest so she's sitting up on top of him.

"No mentioning of that name in the bedroom."

"Fair enough." she laughs into his lips.

With her in his arms, he's contently overwhelmed at the confirmation that he was only ever going to find what he was looking for in her chaste kisses, her home-like hugs, her infectious laughter, and her soul that owned part of his own since the moment right after he asked Jay for a Macallan 18 thirteen years ago.

.

.

.

And they dance at Machel's wedding and live happily ever after, the end.

Thanks for reading!
Hopefully the actual episode is somewhat kind to us...
But if not, we will always have fic land in the meantime!