A Tradition

Although Gray wasn't certain when the tradition began, the first time he noticed it was on Galuna Island.

It was the night that the moon had been broken and the soon to be Lamia Scale wizards had seen the error of their ways. All finally seemed to be going well. The demons of the strange land celebrated the success with the familiar signs of festivities: The food was piled high, music filled the air, and there were so many drinks scattered around that Gray almost didn't notice that an additional cup had been placed by his side. Only when he saw Natsu grinning and lifting his own did he realise that it had been bought for him. Confused, but willing to accept any excuse for a good mood after their recent trauma, Gray gave his own thin smile back. He raised his glass and they drank in unison.

At first, Gray had thought it was just Natsu's way of congratulating their team; his own personal celebration. But with a sudden sense of deja vous, he realised that this was not the first time that this had happened. These particular drinks were not like the rounds that were usually bought together. There would always be two drinks, one for for the Ice Maker and one for the Dragon Slayer. Natsu would always wait until Gray noticed before raising the tankard with that smile, and then they would drink.

There was a pattern, and over the next few months, as the tradition continued, Gray uncovered more pieces of the puzzle. He suspected the drinks were given at times when he needed one, or even at times when Natsu needed one himself, but interestingly were never shared in a time of frustration or distress. Instead, they were always offered when the storm had passed. And the storm had to be particularly bad. The kind that left the rest of them tempted to stare into their drinks and mull over the dark thoughts inside. The kind that made Natsu's smile seem not only welcome, but well-needed.

Several months and one time skip-later, the pattern shifted.

That evening, dragons had reigned from the sky. While a victory had been won there was a sense of exhaustion as the strongest fighters of the world felt dwarfed under the aura of the malicious creatures. Everyone knew that there was little chance of slumber in those small hours of the morning, so it was unsurprising that the few pubs in Crocus that were still able to take customers flourished.

Gray stared into his drink all night. He barely took a sip. It shook and bounded with each loud thud from the fighting and stomping behind him, but he didn't seem to notice. He couldn't understand how some of them still had so much energy, and surmised they were working on adrenaline alone. His had almost burned out. Ready to give up and sleep, he turned to his friends and stopped dead.

He didn't know how, but he knew that when Lucy was given her drink by Natsu, it was a part of that same tradition.

And he almost felt mad. He didn't know why she was suddenly included in this or why Natsu was changing the routine. But the more he looked, the more certain he became: the two drinks, the smile, and the unison.

He sat back, mind dragged into other thoughts. There was too much that had happened in that fateful day to be upset about a single drink. There had been such incredible highs and crushing lows and nightmares that would haunt-

A drink landed by his side.

He glanced up, catching Natsu as he sat beside him. The expression on Dragon Slayer's face was serious, sparking something in Gray's memory. Natsu's expression was always serious just beforehand. But… never usually this bad. Gray opened his mouth to ask- but before he could, Natsu had planted his smile right back where it belonged and was raising his glass.

Gray glanced at Lucy, and back to Natsu. That look still haunted him, even as he drank, and he began to think that maybe that that was the point. That perhaps the serious expression mattered more than the drink, the smile and the unison combined. Natsu wasn't great with words. He struggled to be serious, and sometimes his pride stood in the way of saying what he really needed to say. If only Gray could work out what that hidden message was.

More weeks passed without any sign of the strange tradition, but it was only a matter of time before Fairy Tail was once more thrown ever closer to their breaking point. If Crocus had been a night of nightmares, Tartarus truly lived up to its name as the Gates of Hell. Gray was unsurprised that Natsu was at the Fairy Tail bar that evening. He couldn't blame him, couldn't blame any of them for all they had endured and lost, but Natsu had been hit harder than most.

As Gray approached, the Slayer didn't move. He didn't seem to do anything but sit and stare. Gray didn't know whether to stay or leave or maybe buy him his own drink, to make up for the fact that he had not bought him a single one while he didn't understand the gift. Slowly, he sat next to him. He was about to open his mouth to ask when he saw Natsu already had two tankards in front of him; one full and still lightly bubbling away, and the other nearly at an end. He supposed he'd already planned ahead.

"How are you holding up?" Gray asked, wishing he could sound more sincere.

Natsu didn't respond right away. He stared at the drinks. Eventually, without even looking at Gray, he lifted his head up towards Mirajane and asked for two more. Confused, Gray found one pushed in front of him while the other replaced the empty one in Natsu's hand. There was still one untouched drink.

The Dragon Slayer did not do his usual routine. He did not raise his head and smile at Gray. He did not even look at him, nor did he sip for a long time.

Gray understood. He knew what it was like to lose a father, to lose hope, to lose the reason to keep going. He didn't know what else to say that could comfort him, knowing that there were no words that could truly mend this pain. Perhaps there wasn't supposed to be. But he had spent years not saying the things that would have made things better, not acknowledging what they were to each other. They'd fought together closer than he'd ever fought with anyone in his life, the least he could do was say he was sorry that Natsu had to witness such a tragedy.

"Natsu… I want you to know that I'm here for you."

The Dragon Slayer stirred. He sat up a little more and pulled his own drink forward. "I know," he said, his voice lower than Gray had ever heard it. "Every time I buy you a drink, it's because I know you're here… and I'm thankful. But I'm sick of buying you fucking drinks, Gray."

Gray blinked. His mouth hung open. He watched his friend, looking for some explanation or emotion or something to settle what he'd just said. Or even just a punch in the face. That might have hurt less. But Natsu said nothing else, pushing himself back from the barstool and walking away. That was the end of the conversation.

Gray stared at the back of his head, stunned. Natsu had bought him drinks because… he knew he was there? His mind swam, remembering places and memories and those flickers of a serious look across his face. Galuna Island. The Games. Memento Mori. How many other moments had there their been where he hadn't even realised that was what was happening? Moments where Natsu couldn't find a way of saying anything except with a raised glass and a smile to hide the terror of yet another near miss. Moments where Natsu was just glad… so very glad that despite everything, Gray was alive.

But then, still sitting untouched, was the drink that could not be shared…

This is one of these one-shot drabbly... things that I never intended to post. Ah well, hope you enjoyed it anyway. Review if you did!