Author's Note

OHHHH HELLOOOO!

It's Fantabulous Unicorn (if you didn't know), back with yet anything chapter! Yippeeee!

So... no more rambling and bambling...

Let's get on with the story!

Chapter 9

Zelda awoke to a loud, high-pitched shriek. Startled, she leapt out of bed, blindly stumbling across the room as the result of her blindfold that she had forgotten to take off.

Zelda stopped, pawing at her blindfold with her hands. At last, she wrenched off the cloth and threw it to the floor. "Peach! Peach! Are you alright?!"

Zelda assumed a fighting pose, but as she scanned the room for intruders (maybe Ganondorf or Bowser), she frowned. There was no one in sight.

Zelda huffed, inspecting the room more carefully. Peach's bed was partially made, the covers draped halfway over the foam mattress. Zelda furrowed her brows. It was unusual for Peach to leave her bed half-made like this. Zelda could never recall a time where she woke up to see Peach's bed unmade.

Zelda paced the room, calling out Peach's name. But she heard no response. However, as she passed the bathroom door, she heard the softest of whimpering. Zelda stopped. "Peach?"

All was quiet, except for the constant whimpering, never pausing for breath, never getting louder, never getting softer. Zelda, quite unnerved, banged loudly on the door. "Peach! Peach! Come out here now!"

Again, there was no response, except for the sharp intake of a breath and a suppressed sob.

"Peach! Answer me!" Yelled Zelda, pounding her fist against the bathroom door. "What's wrong?!"

There were a few more quiet sobs, but after a moment,a shaky voice responded. "N-nothing! *hic* j-just a p-p-period a-accident. N-nothing to *hic* worry about!"

"Peach?! Really, are you alright? Your voice sounds funny."

"*hic* it's n-nothing! N-nothing at all! J-j-just a s-sore throat!" The sobs got louder.

Zelda narrowed her eyes, detecting a lie. "I thought you said it was a period accident. Not a sore throat!" She was starting to get reminded of her ex-boyfriend, Marth, who had always tried to skip fights by pretending to be sick.

There was a pause. "W-well, it's b-both then!" The sobs grew to a wail, and Zelda sighed.

"A sore throat and a period accident isn't anything to scream about." Said Zelda.

"I-I'm screaming because-b-because…" there was a long silence. "My period was n-not on s-schedule. I was just s-shocked, I-I mean, *hic* it was a really huge gush. A-and-"

"Never mind." Said Zelda, not wanting to know the details about Peach's supposed period accident. Peach's sketchy explanation raised more questions than answers, but Zelda felt it would be best to stop questioning for now. "Well… you'll be late for your meeting with the game leaders."

The game leaders were the twelve original Smashers. Zelda knew that Peach's pride and joy was her ability to attend this meeting as secretary to Master Hand. It was a great honor, and few (besides the original twelve) were granted this privilege. If this didn't convince her to come out, nothing would.

To Zelda's utter dismay, Peach hiccuped and the door remained closed. "N-no… *hic* I think I'll s-skip work today… tell M-Master Hand that I-I'm not f-feeling well… tell him to c-cancel my f-fights too. *hic*"

Zelda stared in disbelief. She cleaned her ears. Had she heard that correctly?! Peach saying she couldn't come to work was about as unlikely as Roy getting good at kissing (mind you, he was really bad)!

Zelda remembered when Peach was practically delirious with chicken pox, but still insisted that she go to work. She had vomited in the hallway on her way there and was forced to spend the rest of the day in bed, protesting loudly about her secretary duties.

All of Zelda's thoughts exploded out of her like a fart out of Wario's butt. "Well, you still went to work when you were faint from chicken pox! A petty 'sore throat'" Zelda said the words sore throat in a mocking imitation of Peach. "shouldn't be much of a problem! Even if it's as bad as you think, it's nowhere near worse than chicken pox, pneumonia, strep throat, and all those other diseases you got last year! And even through all those, you still toughed it out and went to work! Stop sulking around here and crying because of a period accident. I know you, Peach! You're better than this!" Zelda snapped at the door, furious for no reason.

There was silence. Zelda sighed and wiped sweat from her brow. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to breakfast before you start bawling like a baby." she said crossly. "Again." She turned on her heel with a swish, yanked open the door, and stalked out of the room with a huff.

She was halfway down the corridor when a soft pattering of footsteps zoomed toward her. Zelda cringed. She didn't have time for this. A moment later, a voice said, "Hey Zelda! Hi! Hi! Hi!"

Zelda sighed. Scowling, she turned around. "No, Sonic. I'm not interested." She folded her arms, trying to look cool, and stared the blue hedgehog dead in the eye. "I've told you many times, I'm not going out with you."

Sonic squirmed, clutching a camera tight in his fingers. He was the mansion's photographer, meaning that he had to zoom around everywhere with his camera, taking embarrassing photos of Smashers, and putting them in the Smashbook. "I-I…" he blushed, which looked kinda weird considering he was a hedgehog. "Well… I just wanted to tell you that you're still wearing your nightclothes."

The cool-girl look melted off Zelda's face. "Huh?" She looked down. Sure enough, she was still wearing her nightdress. And even worse, the front part was tucked into her underwear. But there was more - she realized that she was wearing Roy's Hello Kitty underwear. And just when she thought it couldn't get bad enough, she realized that Roy's underwear were 3 sizes too big and that they were hanging off her hips and revealing a bit too much of her… welll… you know what I mean.

"Uhm…" it was now her turn to blush. Her face felt hot with embarrassment. How could she have been so stupid?!

Sonic grinned, snapped a photo, and sped off. "Seeeyaaaaa!"

Zelda took a moment to comprehend. Then, her face contorted with rage and she took off after Sonic.

"YOU! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW! YOU BUTTCRACK! YOU ABSOLUTE FOUL, EVIL, POOP-FACED, LITTLE *$!"

But Sonic was too fast for Zelda, especially a tired Zelda who was wearing her nightdress tucked into the front of her extremely large underwear.

After running the length of the entire mansion, Sonic waving and laughing and holding the camera up high, Zelda was forced to give up. Panting and shaking with rage, she untucked the front of her nightdress and sulked off to her room, bracing herself for Peach's sure fury and thinking of every foul word possible to describe Sonic.

But when she arrived at her room, she saw a figure standing on Peach's bed, hammering a wooden beam into the wall. Zelda yelped, jumping back. The figure suddenly turned, saw her, leaped off the bed and darted into the bathroom. It was much too fast for Zelda to see who it was, but Zelda was reminded of her ex-boyfriend, Captain Falcon for moment, who had snuck into her room to steal her underwear (long story). As she played the scene back in her mind, she was now pretty sure it was a child…

Zelda grabbed a house phone (it was on he nightstand, marched up to the bathroom door with all the courage she could muster, and rapped loudly on the door. "Show yourself! You trespasser!"

There was silence. Zelda screamed, frustrated. "ANSWER ME OR I'LL CALL MASTER HAND!"

"It's me! Peach!" Pleaded the voice from inside, but Zelda was reminded of Lucas. No. She thought to herself. Poor, sweet Lucas would never do such a thing… and yet… who else had that voice?

But it was still unlikely. Lucas would not be able to get inside of the room without a key, especially a high-security one like this. How could he have gotten his hands on that? Peach had been shut up in the bathroom all this time… so he couldn't have gotten hers…

Peach. Oh no! Peach!

If Peach was still in the bathroom, she would be in terrible danger! The trespasser could hold her hostage, kill her…

No, if Peach was in there, she would've screamed. But where else could she be? Zelda had ran all the way around the mansion with Sonic and hadn't seen her (but she had seen Roy, who blushed, and Captain Falcon, who smirked). So she must still be in the room…

Maybe the voice isn't lying. Maybe Peach was the trespasser…

"If you really are Peach, slide me her key under the door."

The key, imprinted with Peach's name and status, cams sliding out from under the door.

"Okay… now what about her ID card?"

And out came the ID card from under the door.

Zelda inspected it, along with the key. As far as she could tell, they were real.

"Hm… now…" Zelda thought. "How did Peach meet me?"

The voice responded instantly. "Mario asked you if the egg salad was good, and Link came to yell at him for talking to you. I was with Mario at that time, and… well, we just started talking, I guess."

Zelda nodded. "Another question." Zelda thought hard. "Where did Peach and I go for our first vacation, and when was it?"

"We went to Smash Waterpark. It was 2 years ago, during Melee. We went during the Spring Holiday."

Zelda was 99% convinced that this was the real Peach. But… just to be 100% sure…

"Exactly how many armpit hairs does Peach like to keep every time she shaves?"

This was a very personal question (for Peach standards). The response came after a moment. "7 visible hairs."

Zelda was now thouroughly convinced that this was the real Peach. "Okay. I won't call Master Hand. But you have to open the door!"

"NO!"

Zelda smiled. She dialed the emergency number with 3 loud beeps. "It's not like you have much of a choice… do you?"

There was a quavering silence.

"Now… if you decide not to open the door… I'll press call."

Another dreadful silence.

"O-okay… but remember… I warned you…."

Zelda held her breath as the bathroom lock clicked, the knob twisted, and the door slowly swung open….

"AHHH!"

Ness woke with a start. Luckily, he was still draped across the towel. But unluckily, Lucas was laying on top of him.

Suddenly, he remembered the switch between him and Peach. He looked down and saw with dismay that he was wearing a dark blue nightgown, and what's more - he had boobs. Well, boobs smaller than the normal Peach's, but nevertheless, boobs.

So why wasn't he in Peach's bedroom? Why wasn't he up in the mansion, enjoying the comforts of home? Was it simply because the shell they had used was so weak?

Ness shook Lucas awake. "Lucas!" His voice was high-pitched and girly.

Lucas groggily rubbed his eyes. He looked up at Ness, and his mouth fell open. "Woaaah! You look hot!"

Ness slapped Lucas hard across the face. Lucas winced. "Owww… you even took her personality!"

Ness scowled. "Why are you being so annoying today?"

Lucas shrugged. "I dunno, girl."

Ness slapped him again. "I'm still a dude, Lucas. Just because I got Peach's body doesn't mean I am Peach!"

Lucas rubbed his cheek where Ness had slapped him. "Pea - uh - Ness," Ness burst into giggles at the blunder of names Lucas had just made. Wow… his and Peach's names combined was Peaness (try saying that aloud)...

"I uh…" Lucas paled, realizing his mistake. Ness burst into another fit of giggles. "Shut up, Ness!" but his mouth was twitching. He cleared his throat. "What I mean to say, Ness. Was that you're not exactly Peach."

Ness bit back another giggle. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, well... your eyes are still violet."

"What? You mean… the transformation wasn't complete? And why is it violet… I wasn't in my own body anymore… so why wasn't my eye blue, like yours? Did something mess up?"

"Yeah… I guess. And also, look! You're not as tall as Peach! And you look like a little girl, not an adult woman!" Lucas' cheeks turned pink. "Come to think of it… little girl Peach with violet eyes is a lot hotter than normal Pe- ow!"

Ness had just thumped Lucas on the head with his fist, causing his dark hair to flop in all directions. "That's cool and all, but try not to get too distracted." Just to spite him, Ness tossed his silky blonde hair to one side and smiled at the dreamy look on Lucas's face. "Don't develop any weird crushes, Lucas!"

Lucas nodded, and staggered to his feet. Ness did the same, but the terrible draining sensation of the sand was so overcoming. He forced himself to stay standing and smoothed down the skirt of his blue nightdress. To his immense relief, Peach wore fluffy slippers to bed so he wouldn't have to walk around this darn island barefoot.

And speaking of weird darn islands... what exactly had shot the dart at him yesterday? Or... were they not alone on this island?

"Lucas," he said tentatively as they began to walk. "What was the thing that almost shot us?"

But just as the words left his mouth, a bright red pole came looming into view. Ness shot Lucas a puzzled look and hurried forward, tripping over his skirt as he ran. Luckily, Lucas caught his arm. "Thanks," said Ness.

"No problem." said Lucas. His face turned bright scarlet as he quickly jerked his arm away from Ness.

Ness groaned. "Come on, Lucas! You idioooot! This isn't a stupid NESSCAS thing! You can't be developing a crush now!"

Lucas' face turned even more furiously red and he stared at the ground. Ness glared. This was not the time for love! They were fearing for their lives now! Lucas was just being so stupid…

Then the sound of great, shuddering breaths fell upon Ness's ears. Ness turned to look at Lucas. Tears were streaming down from the violet eyes and falling onto the sand. Ness just stared at him. This was soooo stupid…

Lucas saw him looking and turned away. "S-sorry…"

Ness was pitiless. "Why are you crying, you dolt!"

"I-I'm just… c-confused…" Lucas muttered, his eyes spilling more tears that leaked out like water from a broken faucet. Ness just gawked. Lucas kept his eyes fixed on the ground below him. "J-just… really s-sad… and confused."

Ness snorted. "I could tell." he replied scathingly.

"It's j-just that…" Lucas wiped his tears away. "This is so crazy… I turned into my best friend…he turned into me… we stole one of Master Hand's prized possessions… and he pushed us down a chute into here… then my best friend turned into Peach… and now… I have a crush on him… and he told me I was stupid… and I am! I-I shouldn't be… ugh… you're right… this is dumb... "

Ness softened just a little bit. "I get it, Lucas." he patted Lucas's shoulder awkwardly. After a moment, he continued. "But you are being stupid. Don't expect me to like you back."

Lucas smiled a little. The flow of his tears slowed just a tiny bit.

"Let's go and see what that red pole is all about." said Ness encouragingly. He grasped Lucas's arm and pulled him forward. Lucas didn't even react.

Ness patted his friends' shoulder all the way to the red pole. Slowly, the tears stopped and the shuddering breaths became small sniffles and hiccups. And then finally, the crying stopped.

"There there." Said Ness, awkwardly releasing Lucas. How the hell was he supposed to comfort somebody in a situation this weird?

Lucas nodded in thanks. "Well… I suppose we should look at this pole." He sounded embarrassed. Ness couldn't blame him.

Ness turned to face the pole. He saw a small hole in it and inspected it carefully. "Have any idea what this - UWAHHAA?"

A feathered dart came whistling out of the hole, missing Ness by inches. Ness yelped and stumbled back. Luckily, Lucas was too off to the side to get hit. "What the - "

An onslaught of darts came streaming out of the hole. Ness backed up and eventually bumped into Lucas, who was standing with his mouth wide open in pure shock.

"Wow… that's where the darts came from." said Ness, breathing hard. But Lucas did not answer. He was staring resolutely in another direction, his violet pupils small as pinpricks. Ness tilted his head to one side, confused. "Lucas…? What are you looking at…?"

Lucas lifted a trembling hand and pointing a shaking finger in the direction he was looking at. Ness followed his finger and gasped, making a facial expression almost identical to Lucas'. His heart gave a feeble lurch and his insides twisted.

The pole wasn't just a pole… no… it was connected to a wall… no - a colossal jail cell, with gleaming black bars criss-crossing in every direction. But that was nothing compared to what was being kept inside the cell.

Oh yes… Ness recognized him...

The unmistakable crumpled shimmering form, bent colorful wings, and the broken, white figure of a man shrouded in misery and mist.

It was Tabuu.

Author's NoteYes... another cliffhanger...

muahahaha...

but I will tell you this...

it only gets better from here...

I think...

I mean... there's like... a 31.56% chance that it will...

Anyway, thanking for reading my chapter!
See you next time! (and of course, not literally)

*P.S. No, this will NOT be a Nesscas fanfic. Lucas's little crush is going not further than this. I promise. It was just to add a little more weirdness to the situation.

Cuz us authors like to do that. :)