Oh, what's this? Is this an update? It is! Sorry it's been awhile, but you know how it is sometimes. Anyways, here's the next chapter! I'm really pleased with how it turned out, so hopefully y'all think it's just as good. I think this particular section of the story should wrap up in the next chapter but I'm pretty sure I said that last chapter too... so we'll just have to see!

As always, thanks for reading!

abyss of being

soul side

Seized by a sudden sense of hesitation, he came to a sharp halt just in front of Akira's room. Dimly, he recalled that he hadn't actually asked Coran for any details as to what had happened on Olkarion, and for a brief moment, he considered turning back to do so. What if he just ended up saying the wrong thing and making everything worse? He'd never been in this situation before.

Well. Not that he knew of.

Then his ears caught the sound of shuffling inside Akira's room, and his mind was made up for him.

Taking in a breath, Kethe took a step forward, knocking on Akira's door. Other than the sounds inside suddenly stopping, he didn't get a response. Shifting on his feet, Kethe frowned, his tail swishing anxiously behind him. Should he just force his way in? Their genetic code was probably similar enough that he could bypass the biolock if needed...

...or maybe he was getting ahead of himself.

"Akira?" Kethe called out. "It's Keith."

For a long moment, there was nothing but silence. Then he picked up on the sounds of someone moving about again, and in short order, the door slid open.

Akira looked like a wreck, even more so than he usually did, if he were being perfectly honest. He was actually getting better- his cheeks were far less sunken these days, and while not all of the physical traces of his time as a Galra prisoner were gone, at the very least they were harder to find. Coran said his weight was steadily improving, and he'd already started him on a regime to gain back his lost muscle mass.

All of that was true, but it was hard to see any of that at the moment. Especially when he wouldn't even look at him.

"I," Kethe began, before abruptly realizing that he hadn't planned out what to say, "-Coran said something happened in the market."

Akira visibly tensed, causing him to wince. Had he said the wrong thing?

"-tell you."

"Huh?" Kethe blinked, his ears twitching. Akira's voice was so faint that even they couldn't quite pick up everything he'd said.

"What did he tell you?" Akira repeated, his voice slightly stronger this time.

"I- not much." Kethe admitted. "I didn't exactly stick around for an explanation."

Akira frowned, peeking out at him from underneath his bangs. The shadows under his eyes had been fading lately, but now they were back in full force. He couldn't see any signs of any visible injuries, but then Coran had said the damage was emotional in nature, not physical.

He knew that sometimes, that could hurt so much more.

"I don't want to talk about it." Akira said finally, switching back to staring at the floor.

Kethe's lips twitched into a frown, briefly overwhelmed with the urge to push for answers. Something had happened, and it had obviously hurt him, so what better time was there to talk about it than now? He just wanted to help.

But maybe that wasn't what helping Akira looked like. Maybe helping Akira meant listening to him, and not trying to force him to talk about something he clearly didn't want to. At least, he was pretty sure that's what Regris would do if he were the one dealing with this as opposed to him.

"Okay," Kethe said, "-we don't have to talk about."

Akira blinked, looking up at him properly this time. "You're not-?"

"I mean, if you don't want to talk about it, I'm not going to force you." Kethe shrugged, crossing his arms in front of him. "I'm not exactly the biggest fan of that myself."

Akira flinched, prompting him to wince. He was just trying to say that he understood where he was coming from, but in hindsight, maybe that wasn't the best way to put it, their situation being what it was. Akira was his clone- one that had been meant as his replacement. Of course he didn't like being reminded of that fact.

"I didn't mean it like that." Kethe said. "I'm just... I get it, that's all."

"You might as well have meant it like that." Akira said, clenching his fists. "I'm your clone, right? Of course we react to things the same."

There was venom in his voice, but Kethe didn't think it was directed towards him. No, if it was directed towards anyone, then it was directed at Akira himself.

And that... that just didn't sit right with him.

"Look," Kethe began, "-I can't pretend to understand what it is that you're going through-"

"Then don't." Akira abruptly cut him off.

Snapping his mouth shut, Kethe felt a spike of irritation wash through him. He had to force it back, reminding himself that getting angry wouldn't do anyone any good, least of all Akira- who, by the way, he had come here to comfort, not pick a fight with.

Ugh. Maybe he should have let Shiro take this one. He felt almost strangely certain that he'd be a lot better at dealing with this sort of thing than him.

(He'd... think about that later. Maybe.)

"Fine." Kethe said. "I just came because I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Akira snorted. "Why bother?"

"What do you mean, why bother?" Kethe asked, narrowing his eyes. He wasn't so sure he liked Akira's tone. It sounded... well, almost like he'd slid right back to where he was when they'd first taken him on board, after Shiro had found him on that prison satellite.

Just what had happened on Olkarion?

"It means exactly what it sounds like." Akira snapped. "Why bother checking up on me? What does it matter if I'm okay or not? It's not like I'm a-"

Snapping his mouth shut, Akira glared at the floor. "Nevermind."

"No, you should finish that." Kethe said before he could stop himself. "Not like a what, Akira?"

Clenching his fists even tighter, Akira turned his glare up towards him. At least it put a little life back into his eyes. Before they'd been so dull, that they'd almost been overwhelmed by the shadows underneath them.

"It doesn't matter what I was going to say." Akira snapped. "Just leave me alone."

"Leave you alone?" Kethe twitched, his tail flicking behind him in annoyance. "You're the one who opened the door! If you didn't want to talk, you could have just ignored me!"

"I just-!" Akira yelled, before snapping his mouth shut again, the fight seemingly going out of him all at once. "Just go away. Please."

Shit. He hadn't actually meant to yell at him. He'd just been worried, but he wasn't talking and- ugh, hadn't he said he was going to try and be understanding? To not push him to talk? This wasn't at all how Regris or even Shiro would have handled this. Guess he really wasn't cut out for this older brother thing- or whatever the hell their relationship was supposed to be. They hadn't really had a chance to figure it out yet.

"I'm sorry, I just-"

Turning on his heel, Akira looked away. "Just go."

Closing his mouth, Kethe shifted hesitantly on his feet. He really had come because he was worried, but it seemed like the only thing he'd done was make things even worse. He didn't feel comfortable leaving things the way they were, but what was he even supposed to say at this point? The only thing he could do was shove his other foot in his mouth, and maybe sour their relationship- whatever that relationship was- so badly that it might never be recoverable.

And he... he didn't want that.

"Okay," Kethe said, "-if that's what you really want, I'll leave you alone."

Akira didn't say anything, didn't even turn to look at him. Biting his lip, Kethe hesitated for a second longer, before turning on his heel and heading back down the hall towards the elevator. They still hadn't moved Akira out of the room they'd given him when he'd first arrived here, so he was still on a separate floor than everyone else.

It felt... kind of lonely.

"Hey," hesitating just in front of the elevator, he looked back in Akira's direction, "-look, if you do decide you need to talk to someone about what happened, just... my door's open, okay?"

Akira didn't say anything in response, but he knew he'd heard him. Waiting a second longer, Kethe sighed, before turning back around and heading into the elevator. Maybe he really should have stuck around to hear the story from Coran. Maybe then he wouldn't have fucked this up so bad.

Because he had. He'd absolutely fucked this up, and he didn't know if Akira would forgive him.

"So what exactly happened on Olkarion?"

After Keith left, the room had fallen into a tense, worried hush. Shiro had been half tempted to chase after him, but had stopped himself at the last possible second. If Keith was taking initiative to help Akira through a bad incident, then he didn't want to discourage that or risk getting in the way. Something told him that the best thing for both of them was each other.

But that didn't mean he didn't want to know what had happened.

"Well," Coran began, clearly hesitating, "-something just shook the lad up, that's all."

Frowning, Shiro narrowed his eyes, getting the feeling that there was something Coran didn't want to tell them. It wasn't like him to keep information from them, so it must have been something that he was worried might effect their opinions of Akira. He couldn't imagine what- they'd already confirmed that there was no way Haggar could be using him to spy on them, and even if she somehow was, it wasn't like that would be Akira's fault.

No, it had to be something else.

"Coran," Shiro said, "-if we're going to help him, then we need to know what happened."

Coran sighed. "Oh, I suppose you're right, Number One. I just didn't want to make things any more difficult for the lad than they already are."

"Why would things get more difficult?" Pidge asked. "Did Akira do something wrong?"

"Did he shoplift?" Lance asked. "Because Keith seems like he's the type to have done that before."

Shiro had to bite the inside of his mouth to keep from commenting on that. Granted, he didn't know if Keith had ever shoplifted per say, but that vehicle theft charge certainly hadn't been his only one. And there had been the few occasions he'd seen him snatch an extra cookie from the commissary...

But Akira wasn't Keith- and besides, he was pretty sure that someone who was that nervous around crowds probably wouldn't risk doing something like shoplifting in the first place. It was impressive enough that he'd managed to go to the market by himself, and he hoped that whatever had happened there hadn't caused enough damage to reverse that progress. It had been hard won, and the last thing he wanted to see was for him to go back to the way he was when they'd first brought him onto the Castle of Lions.

He still got shivers from the way he'd called himself a tool- and a defective one at that.

"No, nothing of the sort. In so far as I can tell, he properly paid for the item he bought." Coran said.

"So then what happened?" Hunk asked. "Oh, did somebody realize he was part Galra? Because I could see how that could cause some problems."

"No, not so far as I'm aware." Coran said. "He just had something of an unfortunate encounter."

"Unfortunate encounter?" Allura asked. "What do you mean by that?"

Heaving another sigh, Coran sat down. "There was an Olloian at the market."

"An Ollo-what now?" Lance asked.

"An Olloian." Allura corrected, her expression far more serious now. "They're a very religiously-minded people who claim to be able to see the color of a person's soul. I believe they call it a spheara."

Soul.

Shiro felt his stomach drop out from underneath him, recalling his earlier exchange with Regris. He hadn't said it directly, but the way he'd spoken had made it sound as if the Galra didn't believe clones had souls. And while the Blade had been quick to correct that he didn't hold such a belief against Akira, if he ran into someone who claimed that they could see the color of them...

...what would happen?

"I don't get it." Pidge frowned, tilting her head. "What does that have to do with Akira?"

Allura sighed, resting her hands in her lap. "It is a bit of a long story."

Shiro met the princess' eyes. "Let's hear it."

To her credit, Allura didn't look away, simply meeting his gaze. It would seem that whatever beliefs the Galra had regarding clones and souls, they had once been shared by the Alteans. Turning his gaze towards Coran, a sick thought briefly twisted his stomach. What if the real reason he'd volunteered to watch Akira was because he thought it was true that clones didn't have souls? What if all this time he'd been trying to keep tabs on him, not help him?

No. That wasn't the sort of person Coran was. His offer to help Akira had come from a genuine place, free of any ulterior motives.

"Before the war began," Allura began, "-the sort of cloning that would have been used to create someone like Akira was outlawed on both Altea and Daibazaal. We believe- believed," she seemed to hastily correct herself, "-that there was only one soul for each person, and that should a second person be created in the image of someone already living, then they would be born either without a soul, or merely half of one."

Hunk frowned, furrowing his brow. "Wait, so are you saying...?"

"No, no, of course not!" Coran quickly said. "It was just an old superstition, mostly."

"Obviously," Pidge said, arching her brows, "-there's never been any scientific evidence to prove the existence of souls."

"Well, there was that one study-" Hunk began.

"-whose results were never able to be replicated." Pidge countered. "Which, as we know, is as good as invalid."

"Mm, fair." Hunk agreed.

"Okay, that's all well and good and all," Lance cut in, presumably before their discussion could go too far down the path of science, "-but I thought you said Akira got spooked by this Olloian guy or whatever."

"Well-" Coran began.

"Coran," Shiro began, leveling his gaze with the Altean, "-I appreciate that you're thinking of Akira, but I need you to be completely honest with us."

"I-" Coran began, glancing over towards Allura.

"It's alright, Coran." Allura assured him. "There's no harm in saying it."

Heaving a sigh, Coran looked back up towards him. "I can't say for sure what it is that the Olloian people actually see. All I can say is that for whatever reason, this particular one seemed convinced that Akira lacked a spheara."

Yeah. That was about what he had been expecting. It didn't make hearing it any easier, but at least it wasn't a surprise.

"I'm guessing Akira didn't take that too well." Shiro said.

"That's certainly one way to put it." Coran said. "I tried to talk to the lad, but-"

"Wait, hold up," Hunk said, "-so if Akira doesn't have this spheara thing, does that mean-"

"It doesn't mean anything." Shiro said firmly, casting his gaze over the group as a whole. "Akira's still a part of this group, and it's our responsibility to look after him. This doesn't change anything."

"Shiro's right." Allura said, rising to her feet. "In spite of the beliefs of my people, I simply cannot believe that Akira lacks a soul."

"He definitely doesn't act soulless." Hunk agreed, glancing over towards Lance. "Right?"

"Hey, don't ask me." Lance shrugged. "All I got from all this was that some religious nut was a jerk to him in the market."

"He was definitely that." Coran agreed, stroking his mustache. "I have to concur with Allura. It's not as if we have any actual proof of the existence of souls either."

"If you ask me, I don't think they even exist." Pidge said- before she frowned, narrowing her eyes. "But I'm guessing Akira didn't see it that way."

"No," Coran's face fell, "-no, he didn't."

A brief silence fell over the lounge at that. The paladins looked between one another before finally looking towards him. He could all but read the expectation in their eyes.

"So... what do we do now, Shiro?" Hunk asked.

Drawing in a long breath, Shiro tried to sort through his thoughts, hoping to figure out the next step. It would be nice if Keith could resolve this on his own, but it sounded like the situation was more serious than he'd originally anticipated. While the encounter didn't sound like much to him, he knew that to someone like Akira, it would mean a lot more. He'd just started viewing himself as a person- something like this could seriously set him back.

And for once, he wasn't sure what to do about it.

For once, he dryly thought. The truth was that he'd barely known what to do lately at all, at least not in regards to Keith- and now Akira. Ever since Keith first disappeared, it was sometimes all he could do to take it one day at a time, scrambling to figure out what the next best step was.

So really, this wasn't anything new.

And strangely enough... that actually made him feel a bit more confident. He couldn't say that the past several months had been without their hiccups, but things hadn't actually gone terribly. Actually, they'd gone pretty well all things considered.

So maybe he could figure this one out too.

"We wait for Keith." Shiro finally said. "If he can help Akira, then that's great, but if he can't- well, then we'll need to work together to fix this."

"And we can fix this," Shiro added, "-I know we can."

"Are you sure we shouldn't all go to check on him?" Pidge asked.

Shiro shook his head. "I think he probably needs some space today. Starting tomorrow we can-"

He cut himself short, the doors opening behind him. Glancing over his shoulder, he met Keith's gaze, recognizing at once that things hadn't gone well.

(It was so strange to remember how difficult it had been to read his eyes at first. Now it all seemed so obvious.)

"Keith," Shiro turned on his heel, "-how did it-?"

Keith bit his lip, dropping his gaze. "I fucked up."

"...so badly, then." Shiro finished.

"Yeah," Keith agreed, "-badly."

"It's not your fault, Number Four." Coran said. "He just had a rough day."

Keith only looked skeptical, his tail drooping behind him. "Yeah, well I'm pretty sure all I did was make things worse."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Shiro asked, already half-preparing himself for rejection.

But if Keith wanted to talk to Regris about this instead of him, then he would completely understand. He might not be able to deny that he still felt jealous of their bond, but he could at the very least take charge of his own feelings.

So it was a pleasant surprise when Keith looked up, silently nodding his head.

"Okay," Shiro said, "-we can do that."

There was a moment of silence, before Allura cleared her throat. "In that case, I will find Regris and see if we can get any more information about potential targets from Lotor."

Shiro grimaced. With all the commotion he'd nearly forgotten about the Galra prince. He'd just have to keep him in mind while they were dealing with this. Something told him that this was a situation that they didn't want him to know about- not that they even knew if he knew about Akira's existence or not yet. He'd been trying to glean just how much he knew about Haggar's plans, but Lotor had been remarkably tight-lipped when it came to anything regarding Zarkon's witch.

Other than the fact that he didn't think highly of her. That he made abundantly clear.

"Good idea." Shiro nodded.

"I guess I'll go find Matt." Pidge said, standing up. "We've been meaning to finish repairing the Coalition ships that were damaged during the invasion."

"I guess I could head to the kitchen, maybe whip up something for Akira." Hunk said. "I know I always feel better when I have something good to eat."

"And I guess I'll-"

"-come with me so I can have an extra hand to help finish repair work on the teleduv?" Coran finished. "Excellent idea, Number Three!"

Lance opened his mouth to protest, only to snap it shut, groaning in resignation. Shiro couldn't help but notice the edge of Keith's lips twitching a smile, and felt himself do the same. The situation with Akira was bad, but he didn't want to let it make things so tense around here that nobody could laugh. That was the last thing they needed.

And he suspected it was the last thing Akira needed too.

Once the lounge was empty aside from the two of them, Shiro turned towards Keith, gesturing towards the couches. "Why don't we have a seat?"

Keith nodded, silently following him to the ring of couches. Taking a seat, he watched as Keith did the same, his tail making its way into his lap where he didn't hesitate to dig his fingers into the black puff of fur at its tip. He'd come to recognize it as a self-soothing action, so clearly whatever had happened, Keith was more upset by it than he let on.

"So," Shiro began, "-what happened?"

"Okay," Shiro said once he was done, "-I think I get the gist of it."

Kethe frowned, plucking at another strand of fur in his tail. "I know I shouldn't have blown up at him, but I just- I don't know. I got frustrated, I guess."

"No, you shouldn't have," Shiro agreed, though his tone was gentle, "-but that doesn't mean we still can't make this right."

Looking up, Kethe's frown only deepened. "I'm not so sure. I think I really upset him."

"I don't think it was you, actually." Shiro said, resting a hand on his shoulder. There was a time not so long ago when the mere touch would have made him flinch, but he was steadily getting past those feelings. "Coran told us what happened on Olkarion after you left. It's... pretty bad."

"Yeah?"

Shiro nodded. "I'm guessing Akira didn't tell you anything."

"No," Kethe shook his head, "-he didn't say anything. Said he didn't want to talk about it."

He'd been trying to figure it out himself, but he just couldn't come to a conclusion. He could think of a few things that would have made him upset, but he didn't know if any of them would apply to Akira. Just because he was his clone, it didn't mean that they were exactly the same- even beyond their looks, there were bound to be differences.

In fact, he knew there were differences. They were subtle, sure, but that was only because Akira was just starting to learn how to be his own person. He was sure that in time, they'd become even more different.

...unless Akira decided to close himself off completely.

"Yeah, I'd imagine." Shiro frowned, before tilting his head, looking at him curiously. "Have you ever spoken to the Blades about souls?"

"Souls?" Kethe blinked. "No. Why?"

Shiro sighed, turning his gaze towards the wall. Kethe watched him, curious as to what it was he wanted to say. He couldn't see what souls had to do with anything. It wasn't exactly a topic he ever thought much about.

Heck, he wasn't even sure they existed.

"Coran told us-"

Kethe stayed quiet as Shiro explained what Coran had told them while he was gone. At the mention of Akira's encounter with the Olloian, he had to force himself to stay seated, briefly overwhelmed with the desire to track down this religious nutball who had said such awful things to Akira. He was sure if Hunk were here, he'd say something about a big brother instinct again, and honesty, he wasn't so sure he could deny it this time.

He also felt like an idiot for not realizing that Akira had been worried about this probably the whole time he'd been with them- and maybe even before. In hindsight it was so obvious that he didn't know how he'd managed to miss it. Maybe it was just because it wasn't something he'd ever worried about. Even back when he'd had basically no memories, he'd never stopped to question whether or not he had a soul. It just... never seemed important.

But obviously to Akira, it was.

"Keith? You still with me?"

Snapping his head up, Kethe stared up at Shiro. He hadn't even noticed the fact that he'd zoned out until he'd spoken. Frowning, he slowly nodded his head.

For his part, Shiro looked understanding. "I know it's a lot to take in."

"It's not that." Kethe said, shaking his head. "I just- I should have noticed something sooner."

"It's not your fault." Shiro assured him. "None of us did."

Biting his lip, Kethe stared down at the floor. "So what do we do now?"

"Now?" Shiro asked. "Now we give Akira some space, at least for today. He needs time to process this."

"Are you sure that's such a good idea?" Keith asked. "I mean, what if he-"

"We'll keep an eye on him." Shiro promised. "Trust me, we won't let him do anything he'd regret."

Kethe nodded, furrowing his brow. "It's not true though, right? That he doesn't have a-"

"No," Shiro shook his head, "-no, I don't think so."

Kethe nodded. "Good. Because I think that's bullshit."

Unexpectedly, Shiro let out a laugh. Cracking a smile, Kethe glanced up at him. He was kind of almost glad he'd chosen to speak with Shiro now. He'd been wavering on whether or not it should be him or Regris, and frankly he'd only decided on Shiro because he might actually be able to fill him in on what happened. Otherwise, he would have gone to find Regris.

Maybe he should trying talking to Shiro more often.

"Still," Shiro said, any mirth vanishing from his features, "-until we can convince Akira of that, I don't think we're going to make much progress."

"How do we do that?" Kethe asked. "I mean, he sounded pretty convinced."

"I'm not sure about that part just yet," Shiro admitted, "-but I'm sure I'll think of something. At the very least we need to convince him that even if he hypothetically doesn't have a soul-"

"-which is bullshit-"

"-which is bullshit," Shiro concurred, "-we need to make sure he at least understands that it wouldn't change anything. I think that's the real key here."

Kethe nodded. Back when he had been worried that he was some kind of an imposter, he knew just how reassuring it had been to simply understand the fact that the paladins wouldn't abandon him even if that was true. In hindsight, the worry had been completely irrational, but it hadn't mattered to him at the time. And while he couldn't say if Akira's worry was irrational or not, he could only imagine that knowing people wouldn't abandon him even if his worst fears turned out to actually be true would have the same effect.

And he wasn't just saying that because he was his clone.

"I just feel like there's more I could be doing now." Kethe said.

"I know. But sometimes the best thing to do is wait." Shiro said, getting to his feet. "Why don't we spar a bit? Might help calm you down."

Kethe frowned, half tempted to turn him down. It didn't seem fair for him to just go on about business as usual when Akira was clearly in distress, but Shiro also kind of had a point. It was clear that Akira didn't want to talk about it, so for now there was nothing any of them could do. All they could do was respect his obvious need for space- so long as it didn't turn into self-isolation.

Recalling the way he'd still opened the door for them, somehow, he wasn't so sure it would.

"Okay," Kethe agreed, "-just don't complain to me if you lose."

"Is there something on your mind, Princess?"

Allura did her best to contain her flinch, her gut twisting at the thought that she had been so obvious that Lotor had noticed that her mind was half elsewhere. The last thing she wanted was to speak to the Galra prince of all people about what had just happened, not when they didn't even know for sure yet if he knew of Akira's existence.

Why give him more cards than he already had?

"No," Allura said smoothly, "-everything is fine."

Lotor merely arched a brow, his face an otherwise unreadable mask. It felt wrong that she was less able to determine what he was thinking than she did Regris, who wore an actual mask, but she supposed that after ten thousand years, it was impossible not to perfect ones poker face, as Lance had so succinctly referred to it as.

"More importantly," she began, "-we were discussing the matter of our next target."

"Of course." Lotor said. "But you must know, Princess, anything I give you now would be far more perilous in nature than what I have provided previously. Even I cannot guarantee that there would be no loss of life involved."

Allura frowned, narrowing her eyes. It was true that everything Lotor had given them thus far was relatively easy to accomplish, and indeed, had been done so at no loss of life to them, nor any of their allies. And while she had hardly expected such missions to last forever, it still managed to be something she didn't want to hear.

Especially not when her mind was on other things.

"Very well," she said shortly, "-in that case, I will discuss the matter with everyone else first."

"Of course," Lotor gave her that eerie smile of his, the one that said absolutely nothing, "-I understand. Take all the time you need."

Watching him for a tick longer, she turned abruptly on her heel. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Regris' gaze linger on the prince, before he too turned, following her back to the elevator. It was only once the doors closed, and they were on their way up, that she dared to let out the breath she had been holding.

"He is right," Regris observed, "-something does seem to be on your mind."

Allura frowned, glancing towards the Blade. Typically Shiro would be the one accompanying her for this, but she hadn't wanted to get in the way of what was likely an important conversation for both him and Keith. She hadn't exactly been blind to the fact that they had been more distant than they once had, before all of this... this Haggar nonsense. Anything that could help bring them closer again could only be considered a good thing.

But it still made for an awkward elevator ride.

"It really is nothing." Allura said.

She wasn't loathe to speak with Regris, as she was with Lotor. She had grown used to the idea of working with the Blade- indeed, they had proven themselves to be valuable allies these past few phoebs. There was much they would have never been able to accomplish if not for them.

But she'd never exactly befriended Regris, not in the same way Pidge and Hunk had. They barely talked outside of business, and though she trusted him, she wasn't certain if this was something she should discuss with him. After all, she could only imagine that the Blade's beliefs lined up with those of her own people, given that they had stuck to traditions that those in the Galra Empire had otherwise forgotten. So if she were to tell him that an Olloian had failed to see a spheara around Akira...

...well, it wasn't hard to imagine what he would think.

And that was exactly it, she realized. She didn't want anyone to think badly of Akira. Learning that he didn't possess a spheara should have only confirmed her misgivings, but the only thing she found herself feeling was guilt. If she hadn't chased him off the bridge, however inadvertently, then perhaps he and the Olloian would have never crossed paths.

"Forgive me, princess," Regris said, deactivating his mask, "-but it does not seem like nothing."

Heaving a sigh, Allura folded her hands. "There was just a small incident with Akira in the marketplace. That's all."

The smallest hint of a frown was all the response she got from Regris, but after dealing with Lotor, it was positively telling. "What kind of incident?"

"He isn't hurt, if that's what you are asking." Allura said. "Forgive me, but it is something of a difficult subject. I'm not certain I wish to talk about it."

Regris merely hummed, remaining otherwise non-committal. She felt a bit bad, wondering if she'd come across as a bit harsh.

"I'm sure if you spoke to Keith," she added, "-he would be willing to discuss it with you."

Regris nodded. "I will keep that in mind."

This rest of the elevator ride occurred in silence, with Allura counting down every tick until they reached the destination. Thankfully once they did, Regris was quick to part ways, presumably to inform Kolivan of what Lotor had told them. She wondered what the Blade leader's reaction to Lotor's declaration would be. He could be awfully cautious at times, though she supposed she understood his reasons for that a bit better now.

If she'd been fighting a war against an Empire as massive as Zarkon's for the past few thousand years without Voltron at her disposal, she would be too.

Heaving a sigh, she made her way towards the lounge, hoping to perhaps find Shiro. It was empty, which she could only hope was a good sign. Turning on her heel, she glanced towards the elevator, briefly debating going to check on Akira herself.

But no. They'd all agreed to give him some space today. And besides, it would hardly be fair of her to go when she was still working out her own conflicted feelings. She'd only somewhat meant what she'd said to Shiro- in truth, she wasn't sure if Akira truly had a soul or not. Perhaps Coran was right- perhaps their old belief was simply rooted in superstition, and the law had merely remained for as long as it had for different reasons. But at the same time...

...well, she couldn't stop thinking about his eyes.

And yet she still found herself wanting to somehow comfort him. He just seemed so young, so vulnerable, that she couldn't help it.

Perhaps, she thought, that was what mattered the most.

(And why did it feel like there was something she was forgetting?)

There was someone in front of his door.

Akira frowned, listening to the heavy footsteps outside. They could only belong to Hunk- Shiro wasn't one to hesitate, and the person outside his door was doing nothing but hesitating. Holding his breath, he waited to see if they would go away.

They didn't.

Instead they knocked on his door, shifting once again on their feet. Akira bit his lip, turning away from it. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to anyone else, not after he'd fucked up so badly with Keith. He'd only been trying to check on him, and he'd handled it terribly. Sure, he didn't deserve it, but he could have at kept his mouth shut.

He didn't know why he'd even opened the door in the first place.

Hunk knocked a second time. "Hey, uh, you in there?"

He said nothing, instead staring at the wall. He felt bad about ignoring Hunk, but this was what was best for everyone. If what that alien had said about him was true, then it wasn't that he just didn't deserve their kindness... it was that he shouldn't exist at all.

He'd known that, but he'd stupidly let himself get carried away. He'd let himself believe that maybe it was okay for him to call this place home, that it was okay if he thought of himself as a person and not a defective tool. He'd even gone so far as giving himself a name.

Now he just felt like an idiot.

He should have known better. He was no different from Lotor's ship- an empty, hollow shell meant to mimic something much more real. He thought that maybe because he had feelings, there was actually something more to him, but he guessed those weren't real either. They were probably just a byproduct of Keith's memories.

"Well," Hunk said, shifting on his feet again, "-uh, I brought you a little something, so I'll just leave it right here in case you start feeling a little hungry."

He listened as the yellow paladin set something down in front of his door, taking a few steps back. For a brief moment he thought he'd actually leave for real this time, but instead he stuck around for a little while longer, once again shifting anxiously on his feet.

"So, uh," Hunk began, "-you know if you need anything, or anyone to talk to, my door is always open. Well, it's not literally always open, but- aw heck, you know what I mean. You can come talk to me if you need to."

Akira said nothing, trying to ignore the twisting feeling in his gut. For something that was fake, it was awfully painful.

Finally, finally, Hunk left. Exhaling, Akira uncurled himself from the ball he'd worked himself into, glancing towards the door. Only once he was certain the yellow paladin was gone, did he open it, peering down to see what it was that he'd left him.

A cupcake, decorated with bright orange frosting.

He almost closed the door right then and there, but his stomach growled, reminding him he hadn't eaten anything since that morning. He might not have a soul, but he guessed that didn't stop him from getting hungry. He was almost half tempted to ignore the cupcake anyways, on the basis that it didn't matter whether he starved or not, but the memory- the real memory- of his time in Galra prison forced him to reconsider.

Besides, if he died, Keith would never get his memories back. And while he might have been a faulty tool for Haggar, at the very least he could serve as a proper vessel until the princess learned how to transfer the memories back.

Everything after that was fair game.

Stooping down, he picked up the little plate, only noticing the card tucked underneath the cupcake after he'd brought it back into his room. Frowning, he opened it up, scanning the contents.

Something sweet always makes me feel better when I'm down, so hopefully this will bring you some cheer too.

It was signed Hunk, like that wasn't obvious enough already from his handwriting.

Snapping the card shut, he tried to ignore the warm feeling that bubbled up inside of him. Just like everything else about him, it wasn't real anyways. Eventually Coran would tell everyone what had happened in the marketplace, and they'd realize that too. Maybe then things would finally go back to the way they were supposed to have been all along- with everyone leaving him alone.

That would be for the best. It had to be for the best.

And yet he couldn't bring himself to throw the card away.

By the time he and Shiro finished sparring, he was bone-weary.

As expected of both the former Champion and the current black paladin, he was good. He already knew that from the few times they had sparred together in the past. It didn't happen often- usually Shiro was the one who asked, and he hadn't at all recently. He suspected it had something to do with whatever reason he had for avoiding Regris, but he'd never asked.

In any case, he and Regris seemed to be on better terms now, so clearly whatever it was that had been going on between them, they'd worked it out. It wasn't his business to pry.

He wasn't so sure he'd like the answer anyways.

Speaking of Regris... his Blade mentor had been busy making adjustments to his ship when he'd entered the red lion's hangar. He kept it docked there near the red lion, in the event that he needed to use it instead of his lion. He suspected it was also to make those among Voltron's allies who were not yet fully comfortable with working with the Blade more comfortable. Seeing a Galra ship, even if it wasn't one of the standard fighters, first thing in the hangar when they landed in the Castle probably wasn't a relaxing sight.

Things were starting to change, but he doubted that there would be a time when all of their allies trusted them the same way they did the lions.

(If they knew a Galra piloted one... well, that was why they kept that a secret.)

"Long day?"

"Something like that." Kethe said, lifting his arms in an upwards stretch until his shoulder joints cracked. "How did things go with Lotor?"

"He claims he no longer has any easy missions to offer us." Regris said.

"Fine by me." Kethe said, dropping his arms. "Not like anything we ever do is easy anyways."

Regris merely chuckled. "Kolivan said as much."

Kethe arched a brow. "That doesn't sound like Kolivan."

"Well," Regris smirked, "-he did say it more eloquently."

Cocking his head, Kethe folded his arms in front of him. "And I'm not?"

"No." Regris said frankly.

"Okay," Kethe said, "-that's fair."

Regris hummed, resuming work on his ship. For a few ticks, he simply watched him, before his eyes trailed down to his tail- or the prosthetic version of it that Hunk and Pidge had built for him. It was good to see him moving around as he once had again, but he still felt guilty for creating the situation in which he'd lost it in the first place.

"So," Regris' voice broke him from his thoughts, "-I hear Akira found himself some trouble today."

"More like trouble found him." Kethe replied, narrowing his eyes as he recalled what Shiro had told him. Looking up at Regris, he frowned. He wanted to ask, but part of him was afraid that he might not like the answer.

But he couldn't always avoid hearing things he might not like.

"Shiro told me that the Galra don't think clones have souls."

Regris briefly stilled, before resuming his repair work. "That is somewhat simplified, but... yes."

"What about Akira?"

"I believe Akira has a right to exist." Regris merely replied.

"But you don't think he has a soul."

Regris sighed, glancing back towards him. "I never said that."

Kethe frowned. "So what do you believe?"

"It is hard to say." Regris said. "It is never a belief that I've had cause to question until now. But sometimes even the strongest of beliefs need to give way to reality."

He wasn't quite sure what to make of that answer, but from the sound of it, Regris didn't quite know either. Lifting his head, he turned his gaze towards the red lion, wondering if she would be able to tell him. She'd let Akira in, after all, had let him touch her controls- he found it hard to believe that she'd do something like that for a soulless husk.

But if the red lion knew anything, she wasn't saying.

Yeah. He didn't think it would be that easy either.

He couldn't sleep.

It shouldn't come as a surprise to him, but that didn't make him feel any better. Turning over on his side, Akira glared at the wall opposite from him. Every time he closed his eyes, that alien's face flashed in his mind, sometimes overlapping with those of his captors'. They both spoke with the same harsh tone, though the words they spat out were different.

But sometimes it wasn't the alien from the marketplace, and sometimes it wasn't his captors. Sometimes it wasn't even Haggar, calling him a failure.

Sometimes it was the paladins.

Groaning, he sat up. This wasn't getting him anywhere. Maybe he could sneak down to the kitchen and get some of that weird tea-like substance Shiro had introduced him to.

...or maybe he could remember that everyone on this ship probably knew he didn't have a soul now, and not sneak about, stealing their supplies. Hunk had been nice enough when he'd dropped off his dinner, but that was just a formality. They probably only just cared about keeping him alive so that he could give Keith his memories back.

Maybe if he kept trying to convince himself of that, he'd actually believe it.

Slumping back down in his bed, he closed his eyes and tried not to think.

It didn't work.

Shiro woke early the next morning.

His sleep had been blessedly peaceful for once- the worst of his nightmares had passed since they'd found Keith, but he still had them now and again. That didn't stop him from waking with a strange feeling of guilt, knowing all too well that Akira's sleep likely hadn't been half as peaceful.

Making his way to the kitchen, he was only mildly surprised to find that he wasn't the only one up at this hour. Hunk glanced up at him from the stove, while Keith peered up at him from his cup of space coffee. The latter still had something of a bedhead, his unbraided hair hinting at the fact that he'd come straight here after waking up instead of starting his day with a session on the training deck.

"Morning, Shiro." Hunk said, Keith just opting to make a faint vocalization in place of a greeting. "You look like you slept well."

"For a change." Shiro said, pulling out a chair. "Any word from Akira yet?"

"Well, he ate the cupcake I left him yesterday, I think." Hunk said. "Don't know about his dinner though. Guess I'll find out when I bring up his breakfast."

"I could bring it to him if you want." Shiro offered.

"That works." Hunk said. "Give me a few minutes. I'm just putting the finishing touches on it."

"Copy that." Shiro said, glancing across the table at Keith. It was hard to tell past all the fur, but he was pretty sure there were bags underneath those dimly glowing eyes. "Rough night?"

Keith just grunted in response, taking a sip of what could only be that awful coffee substitute Pidge had found. Typically he was more of a morning person than this, but he guessed that Akira wasn't the only one who probably hadn't slept well last night. He probably should have expected it- while Keith seemed to be feeling better after their sparring session, he knew from past experience that he was the type to let his own thoughts keep him awake.

Guess that hadn't changed.

"Yeah, I don't think you're going to get much out of him until he's done with that." Hunk remarked. "I've been here for awhile, and I've barely gotten like, two words from him."

Shiro chuckled. "I know that feeling."

Keith just glared at him from across the table, his tail flicking behind him in irritation. He smiled back, and before long, the half-Galra let out a huff, setting down his mug.

"What are we doing about Akira?"

"He speaks!" Hunk exclaimed, ignoring the glare Keith sent his way in favor of dumping the contents of the pot he'd been nursing into a bowl. "But yeah, I was wondering that too."

"Let me try and talk to him first, and I'll see where we'll go from there." Shiro said, getting to his feet. "That for him?"

"Yup," Hunk said, placing the bowl on a tray, "-one delicious bowl of oatmeal, made with love."

"Do you need me to come with you?" Keith asked, moving to get up.

"I don't want to risk overwhelming him." Shiro said, accepting the tray from Hunk. "But thanks."

Nodding, Keith sat back down. After a quick check with Hunk to make sure he had everything, he made his way towards Akira's room. His door was firmly shut when he arrived, but there was an empty tray sitting out front that at least suggested he'd eaten last night's dinner.

Well, that was promising at least.

"Akira?" Shiro called out, shifting his grip on the tray so that he could knock on his door. "It's Shiro. I brought you your food."

There was no response, but he thought he could hear someone moving around in there. Frowning, Shiro strained his ears to see if he could pick anything else up, only to be met with silence.

Guess he wasn't interested in talking.

"Okay," Shiro said, setting the tray down in front of the door, "-I'll just leave this here."

Still no response. Picking up the old tray, Shiro briefly debated if he should try to push, but quickly decided against it. If he acted too aggressively, Akira might just take it the wrong way.

That said, he didn't want to leave without saying anything.

"You know," he began, "-Coran told us what happened on Olkarion."

That got a reaction. He could hear something thump on the other side of the door, and for a second, he almost thought Akira might open it, but he never did.

Still, that reaction was about what he had expected. It was only natural that he'd be worried about what they'd think, especially given how negative his own self-image had been when he'd first been brought on board. And while he really did think that they'd made some headway since then, the progress was still fragile and easily set back. He knew that if he were the one in Akira's shoes, he'd probably be having some serious hang-ups too.

"I know you're probably worried about what we think of you now that we've heard that," Shiro continued, "-but I promise you, this doesn't change anything. And if it means anything to you, none of us even think it's true."

Akira didn't respond, but he could sense him on the other side of the door. He was half-tempted to use the bypass code Pidge had given him to open it himself, but he knew that wasn't the right move. Akira had to be the one to choose to leave. They couldn't force him.

"Just... keep that in mind, okay?" Shiro said. "You're a part of our little space family now, and it's going to take a lot more than weird alien superstitions to change that."

He waited a moment longer, but Akira continued to hold his silence.

"Okay," Shiro said, "-I'll let you eat in peace."

Stepping away from the door, Shiro hesitated for a second, just to see if he would come out. When he didn't, he heaved a slight sigh and made his way to the elevator. It was one thing to know that he would have to wait for him to make the first move, and another thing entirely to actually hold himself to that.

If Adam were here, he was sure he'd have some quip to make about patience.

Coran told us what happened on Olkarion.

He swore he'd felt his heart stop right there. Those were the words he was most afraid to hear, and yet when they were finally spoken the fallout... hadn't been anywhere near as bad as he'd expected. If anything, it had been the exact opposite- instead of accusing him of anything, Shiro had been... understanding? Kind, even.

He said it didn't change anything.

He also said they didn't believe it.

That was what had stopped him from opening the door. Because maybe the paladins didn't- assuming Shiro wasn't lying, which he very well could be- but he did. He'd suspected as much since the first time he'd met his own empty eyes in the mirror.

What else could they possibly mean but that? They always said that eyes were windows to the soul.

Stepping away from the door, Akira clenched his fists. Even now part of him yearned to believe what Shiro said was true, but he just couldn't. He knew if he did, he'd only get hurt.

(But how could he get hurt if his feelings were fake too?)

Heaving a sigh, he slumped back down on his bed. His stomach growled, but he couldn't bring himself to retrieve the food Shiro had left for him. He'd said he was leaving, but he could have been lying about that too. He'd wait a little longer, just to be safe. The food might get cold, but that was fine- Hunk's cooking was delicious no matter what.

He just... he didn't want to go out now and find out that Shiro was lying. He knew he was- he had to be- but maybe if he didn't see him, he could at least try and believe it was true.

Wouldn't that be nice.

"So how'd it go?"

"Well, he ate his dinner." Shiro said, setting down the empty tray. "But he wouldn't come out or talk to me."

"Yeah, kind of figured it wouldn't be that easy." Hunk frowned.

"It never is." Keith said, considerably more awake now than he had been several minutes ago. Guess the space coffee must have done the trick.

"Interesting that you'd say that," Shiro arched a brow, "-since I remember you causing quite a bit of trouble yourself."

"Hey, I never locked myself in my room." Keith pointed out.

"No, but you did lock yourself in your lion that one time." Hunk said.

"That doesn't count." Keith said, leaning back in his chair. "Besides, she let you in anyways."

"That she did." Hunk agreed. "So what now?"

"Now we wait." Shiro said. "I didn't get a chance to see him, but I did tell him what we'd heard from Coran, and how we all felt about it. He probably needs some time to process it. We can check back on him around lunchtime."

"Solid plan." Keith said. "What about Lotor?"

"Allura and I were planning on talking to him again later this morning." Shiro said. "With any luck we should have another mission soon. Hopefully one we can pass on to the Blades, considering-"

"-considering the fact that you don't want to leave Akira alone?" Keith finished.

"Pretty much." Shiro admitted.

"Mm, yeah, same." Hunk agreed. "I mean, don't get me wrong, fighting the Galra Empire is important and all, but if we can't slow down to handle an existential crisis or two, then who are we as people?"

Keith made a face. "Yeah, that reminds me. I should probably apologize for all of mine."

"You have nothing to apologize for, Keith." Shiro assured him. "It's only natural that you would react that way, given everything you'd been through."

"Yeah, man, what's an existential crisis or two between friends?" Hunk asked.

Keith snorted. "I think I had more than two."

"Yeah, okay, that's fair." Hunk said. "Anyways, I made you some breakfast too, Shiro, if you've got a moment."

"Trust me, Hunk, I'll always have a moment for your cooking." Shiro said, taking a seat. "If I'm being honest, you might actually be better than Adam."

Cocking his head to one side, Keith peered curiously at him. "Who's Adam?"

Shiro blinked, for a moment not understanding the question. He knew Keith couldn't remember anything before being rescued by the Blades, but surely he'd told him about Adam at some point, right?

Apparently not.

"He's my fiancee." Shiro said. "Or he was, before we broke up."

Staring up at him in surprise, Keith nearly choked on his food. "Wait, you have a fiancee?"

"Had," Shiro corrected, "-like I said, we broke up."

"Oh," Keith frowned, "-sorry."

"It's alright." Shiro said. "It feels like it all happened a long time ago now."

He still remembered how angry Keith had gotten on his behalf when he'd learned about the break up. He was pretty sure he would have tried to fight Adam if he hadn't stopped him. Though his anger had cooled after awhile, he'd never made up with him- unless he'd done so during his absence, in which case, he'd never know.

Well, unless he asked Akira. But that obviously wasn't an option.

"Speaking of couples," Hunk said, finally removing himself from the stove and taking a seat, "-who do you guys think Lotor's mom is?"

"Hunk," Keith began, scrunching up his nose, "-can we please not talk about who would want to fuck Zarkon at the breakfast table?"

"Keith-"

"-yeah, yeah, language."

"Are you sure you're ready, princess?"

Glancing over in Shiro's direction, Allura frowned. "I believe I am more than capable of handling the likes of Lotor."

"I didn't say you weren't," Shiro said, "-just thought you might have a lot on your mind."

"I could say the same of you." Allura pointed out.

"That obvious, huh?" Shiro asked.

"Rather." Allura said. "Not that I can entirely blame you. If we could put this off for longer, I would."

Just because she could deal with Lotor, didn't necessarily mean that she wanted to right now. Given the choice, she would be more than willing to leave the Galra prince to his own devices for a day or two whilst they figured out the situation with Akira. But unfortunately, there was only so long they could go without the Galra realizing that they were currently using inside information. If they didn't at least attempt to accomplish as much as they could during that time frame, then it would be a waste of the opportunity they'd all been presented.

"Can't argue with you there." Shiro agreed.

They rode in silence down to Lotor's cell, where the prince was already waiting for him. She narrowed her eyes at the sight of him, but betrayed nothing else. She wasn't quite sure what it was that he wanted from them just yet- other than perhaps her help in completing his ships- but whatever it was, it couldn't be anything good.

"Princess," Lotor greeted her, entirely skipping over Shiro, "-have you come to a decision?"

"Yes." Allura said firmly. "Let's hear what you have to say."

"In that case," Lotor began, his face unreadable as ever, "-then I believe I have information that may be valuable to you on a... personal level."