Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or any of its characters and lines from the movie used in this story. What is written here is for entertainment purposes only. I do not make any profits from it.

"Okay. Am I the only one who didn't get a makeover?" Tony asked, his eyes darting past Thor's new do, Clint's mohawk, Steve's beard, Bruce's torn clothes, and finally landing on Natasha's blonde hair.

"Take a picture, Stark," Natasha stated in what must be a threatening tone but Tony didn't have enough energy left to care. "It'll last longer.

Tony shook his head. "I'm just… contemplating whether I can get Pepper to go blonde."

"What happened to your hair?" Clint asked Thor.

"Really?" asked Steve. "The guy lost an eye and you're more interested about his hair?"

Clint shrugged while Tony added, "I'm actually not surprised he lost his eye. Eyes are a normal casualty in war. But hair as clean cut as that, with the added lightning design shaved on the sides? What, did a barber come at you with a razor?" The billionaire eyed the Norse God. "What war were you fighting again? A battle of hair? Shampoo?"

"Family issue," Bruce supplied, "His sister was trying to kill him and all of Asgard."

"You have a sister?" asked Steve, a brow raised. Everybody else looked just as surprised to learn this new detail.

"Is she adopted too?" asked Natasha.

"What is it with your siblings turning out to be spychopaths?" Clint asked bitterly, still remembering what Loki did to him.

"I was just as surprised as you are, my friends. But we should forget about my sister, for she is gone, and I am more curious about the hair you are currently sporting. What do you call it?" Thor addressed Clint.

"It's called a mohawk," said Natasha.

Thor's eyes lit up in understanding. "Ah! Because you are called Hawkeye!"

"What? No!" cried Clint. "It's just… I felt like…" he sighed. "Fine. Yes. It's because I'm Hawkeye."

"I'm seeing more of a chicken than a hawk," said Tony.

Clint rolled his eyes and ignored the I-told-you-so look Natasha gave him. In an attempt to change the subject and direct the room's attention to somebody else, he pointed at Steve. "Steve has a bushy beard."

Tony raised his hand in inquiry. "Am I the only one who didn't know that Captain America could grow a beard?"

Steve glared at him and Tony put his hand down.

Steve chuckled dryly. "Oh, I see. It's my turn. Well, it's a good thing I can 'cause it was harder for security's facial recognition to identify me with this beard. This beard kept me hidden."

"Keeps your entire jaw hidden," corrected Tony. "Hey, Point Break, maybe we can get Steve in touch with your barber."

Bruce frowned. "Why were you trying to hide from security?"

Clint, Natasha, Tony, and Steve all stiffened and avoided looking at each other.

Bruce and Thor stared on in confusion.

"Long story," Steve eventually said.

"It's all in the past now," said Tony.

The moment got awkwardly silent before Clint exclaimed, "Tony got engaged!"

"Engaged in what?" asked Thor.

"In marriage," supplied Natasha.

"Since when?" asked Bruce.

"Since he proposed in front of the media and broadcasted it to the whole world," explained Steve, frowning disapprovingly. "You know that's irresponsible. Miss Potts' safety is—"

"Alright. You let Miss Potts, myself, her personal security team, and SI's threat assessment guys worry about her safety okay. Also: you're wrong. My proposal was only broadcast to a select countries. And she made me take it all back once we got home and made me do it all over again. Almost gave me a heart attack when she took off her ring. Thought she was gonna leave me."

"Wow," said Clint.

"But the real person of interest here is Bruce," said Tony, folding his arms. "You packed my clothes and went on vacation to some planet without inviting any of us? Not even Nat?"

Natasha turned to look at Bruce.

Bruce shifted in his seat. "There was no packing involved. Thor found it in the quinjet. They were super tight, by the way. I had to beg Strange for a different pair when I got here! How did you walk in those? How did your balls even breathe?"

Tony shrugged. "My balls can breathe fine. And Pepper likes how I look in them. No. That's a lie. I like how I look in them. I look good. And so did you I bet."

"I didn't really have the time to look at myself in the mirror since I was trying not to hulk out from the stress of being on another planet. And please, let's not talk about pants when the one I'm wearing now is barely hanging on." As if to prove his point, Bruce hitched his pants up and bundled the extra garter around his waist.

"Oh. Here," said Thor handing Bruce something from his wrist. "I still have Jane's rubber band for my hair. You can use it to..." He gestured a tying movement.

"Thanks, Thor."

A/N: I have nothing against mohawks.