Every morning is the same.
She wakes up.
She pours her first cup of tea.
She wakes Harry up.
Gets him dressed.
Feeds him.
Drives him to school.
Walks him to class, kisses him on the forehead and reminds him "No funny business."
She puts on a fake face for the other mothers who never seem to leave the classroom and heads to work.
She tries to forget her old life.
It is incredibly hard.
Disappearing had been the easiest thing in the world.
She thinks this often as she types up the classified ads, birth announcements, and engagements for work.
It's a small newspaper- she doesn't even need the money (Sirius made sure of that), but when Harry turned four and started kindergarten, she started to lose her mind.
Typing helps. It is mindless. And there is always some part of her that hopes an ad that comes through will be the one she's been waiting for.
She is pretty much out of hope at this point.
Harry will turn eleven this summer.
She tries very hard to forget that part.
She worries though, daily, that when Harry turns eleven they will be found.
That everything they have worked so hard to protect and conceal will be eliminated by an owl flying through her window delivering a letter.
She doesn't even know if the American Wizarding School uses owls.
Will they send a letter?
Or will Hogwarts?
Something in her heart clenches at the thought of Hogwarts.
Of home.
Of James.
She doesn't even know if he is alive. She doesn't even know if the war is over.
She's just biding her time in this small Carolina town hoping she'll find that stupid ad.
Somehow- it is already lunch time.
Again, Lily waves off the invitations to go out with her coworkers. She kindly waves at the piles of classifieds she has left to type and holds up her brown sack lunch.
Being a loner is something she's developed in her new life. She'd made the mistake once- at a restaurant job in Alabama. She got too close with one of the waitresses and when the year was up it was devastating to leave. So she'd promised herself to never make friends. She added it to the list of rules she and Sirius had set.
It was raining that night. She's just gotten Harry to go to bed. James was off on a mission- he wasn't supposed to leave but Peter had come in such a state of panic- their Gryffindor pride took over any logic and James had left. It had been hours. Suddenly- there was a roar and flash of light outside her window and then a crack and she was facing Sirius in her kitchen.
He was soaking wet and had wild eyes and spoke without greeting her. "Do you still have those emergency bags packed?"
"Yes- of course- but Sirius-" she tried
And he cut her off and started towards where he knew she kept the bags in the hall closet. "Peter's the rat. Regulus told me- this whole fucking thing….we have to get you, James and Harry out. Out of the country. Where is Prongs?"
Lily stopped short, dread creeping up her spine, "He's with Peter….they left hours ago."
"Fuck!" Sirius all but exploded
Lily felt the familiar waves of panic bubbling over. "Nonono, Evans, you've got to pull your shit together. You and Harry- that's the most important. I'll get James. We've got to get a plan."
So they planned as they grabbed a still sleeping Harry and loaded bags into the waiting motorcycle. As they flew, Sirius told Lily what he'd learned from his brother… that Voldemort was coming tonight, that Regulus had discovered a way to kill Voldemort and that when they told Dumbledore he'd just sat there and said "interesting."
When Sirius couldn't reach James on the mirror, he had feared the worst and went straight to fetch Lily.
They'd decided America would make the most sense. That Lily wouldn't stay in one place longer than a year. That she would stay in the south and that she would choose towns with names that would make Sirius laugh.
Why would a single mother of a biracial child hide in the southern part of the United States? No one would look there. She'd be untraceable with her magic and street smarts. When the war was over- Sirius would send word through the newspapers.
The first year she'd received a message- not that the wary was over, but that James was alive. She pulled out the clipping whenever she needed a boost
Found- Obnoxious Stag wandering a petting zoo. In good health. Seems domesticated and not good for hunting. Free to good home
It was the only news she received in almost 10 years.
She had only broken one of their rules.
She'd been in Charleston the longest. Harry had begged and begged and begged to at least stay for three years. He desperately wanted friends. And Lily knew he needed them. A small part of her worried that she would need to put down roots- that the war may be over but that they were on the losing side. She couldn't gather anything from international news- they seemed to be doing their job on hiding the war well.
She picked up another classified from her pile of ads and worked through lunch.
The rest of the day flew by in monotony. She picked up Harry. He talked her into picking up curry and she was relieved to not make the shitty meal she had planned. They ate and Harry told her all about his day.
At bedtime, Lily would tell Harry stories. Stories about Hogwarts and James. She had to set a limit of two stories a night. Harry would clutch the photo album that was their storybook and would delight in the world of magic- a world Lily still prayed he would see.
He was good at keeping secrets for a 10 year old. In Opelika- his teachers had tried to get him therapy for his "delusions," but luckily it was attributed to an overactive imagination. His questions had gotten worse as he grew older though. The stories less entertainment and more of a mystery, "When will dad find us?" "Will I go to wizard school?"
Lily racked her brain every day for new ways to say, "I don't know".
The next week continued the same.
Wake up.
Work.
Story time.
Worry.
Sleep.
Wake up.
Work.
Story time.
Worry.
Sleep.
Wake up.
Work.
Story time.
Worry.
Sleep.
Wake up.
Work.
Story time.
Worry.
Sleep.
Ironically, the day that changes everything forever almost wasn't.
It was a Tuesday which meant it was deadline day. Lily usually had all classifieds finished before the end of the day Monday, but there was some damn national ad being run which meant she had to reformat everything to get it to fucking fit.
Thankfully- it wasn't anything she had to type because she wouldn't have been able to keep herself from adding some strongly worded commentary into the ad.
Lily didn't even read the damn thing until the newspaper went to print on Thursday.
When she did her heart stopped
Squid Trainer needed. English explorers search for experienced Squid Trainer to work at new petting zoo. Interviews will be held on …. interested parties should contact Nigel Babbington, esquire at xxxxxxxxx
They were alive.
And the war was over.
And she didn't have a fucking phone in her house.
Or keys to her job.
She has to wait until the fucking morning.
When sleep evades her she allows herself to do something she never allows herself to do.
She remembers.
She remembers the feel of his lips after Quidditch matches.
She remembers the sensation of his calloused fingers along her thighs.
She remembers laughing until she cannot breathe and how James feels like home.
She remembers everything.
And for the first time in ten years, Lily Evans Potter allows herself to hope.