Raw chapter ahead!

Also, this entire chapter is a flashback Did not italicize the text like the usual I do for flashbacks.

XIII.

It turns out

freedom ain't nothing but missing you

wishing I'd realize

what I had when you were mine…

/./ flashback /./

After that first night in Montauk, they'd pretty much spent most of their time in each other's places – more frequently at Percy's – to, well, hook up. Percy was surprisingly cool about their arrangement after Annabeth had explained to him of her proposal. He was initially skeptic and awkward – said there was a nagging feeling inside him saying that he had just cheated on Callie and it would be wrong to jump to another bed not even 2 months after they'd broken up. But after a whole night of consideration, he had woken up in the morning and said that he was in. Of course, Annabeth had emphasized to him the condition that it had to be kept a secret since it would be regarded as taboo by just about everybody.

It had taken two months into the arrangement before Piper confronted her – cryptically – about it one afternoon.

"Callie!" Katie waved to a familiar figure a few tables away. Everyone in the table turned their gazes to the same direction and gave the brunette huge smiles – well, except Annabeth who settled with a close-lipped one. Katie gestured to an empty seat – one that Callie used to fill in when she was still dating Percy – and made some puppy eyes, clearly asking the girl to go sit with them.

Callie smiled back but looked apologetic. "I'm actually on my way to a practice. I just grabbed some food on the way." She raised two wraps of burger and two cans of soda. She did seem to be in a hurry. "Next time, though." Katie's face fell but she nodded in understanding. Callie sent them another regretful look before jogging out of the cafeteria.

Katie sighed, shoulders dropping. "I miss her."

Jason nodded in agreement, looking thoughtful. "I still can't believe they've broken up."

"I didn't even think it was possible," Grover said. "I mean, she wrote him a poem." He said it like it was an enormous gesture that nobody else could have performed for Percy. Annabeth can write him a damn sonnet if she was into poetry; she wanted to snipe but chose to shut her mouth. She didn't know why she suddenly tasted bitterness in her tongue.

"And published it in the school paper," Piper added, a look of awe in her face. She shook her head, eyes wide with astonishment it almost looked comical if Annabeth was to say something. "I will forever be amazed by the amount of guts that it took for her to carry it out."

Annabeth fought the urge to snort.

"Did Percy say anything to you, Annabeth?"

She wanted to just pretend that she didn't hear it but Hazel, who had asked the question, was sitting across from her. She politely looked up and gave her a strained smile. She shrugged and replied with the most generic answer that Percy and Callie had been giving everybody who asked.

"It was a mutual decision."

Travis sniggers a little. "Did you three rehearse that line?"

"It's what he told me," Annabeth calmly defended, forking her salad.

The topic was thankfully dropped after that and the group moved on to another more comfortable discussion. Annabeth didn't understand why it still irked her but one thing she was sure of - she didn't enjoy talking about Percy and Calypso. But if she would just listen to the little traitorous voice whispering inside her, she'd be hearing her conscience chanting 'guilty'.

Pft. What would she be guilty about anyway? It wasn't like she slept with Percy while he and Callie were still together. Sure, she just kissed him but was it even cheating at all? You know what, she normally lived for thinking but she needed to stop thinking now, really.

"It's the weekend," Jason perked up. "You guys wanna hang out in mine? We can watch a movie or play Mario Kart."

"Will your sister be there?" Leo questioned uneasily.

Jason didn't notice the anxiety in Leo's eyes so he nonchalantly confirmed. "Yep, she will. She's bringing over some of her college friends but I'm sure she won't mind sharing the house with us."

Leo visibly cowered but when he noticed the teasing smirk that Connor directed him with, he squinted his eyes, straightened and cleared his throat.

"Sure, Jase." He glared at the two Stolls - Connor was still smirking and Travis was catching up on the joke as well. The siblings high-fived as Leo inwardly deflated, realizing what he had just agreed to. He was scared of Thalia, Annabeth realized. She couldn't blame him though. The punk girl walked around in this aura that radiates around the room, letting everyone know that she was a force to be reckoned with. How Luke managed to make her fall in love was beyond Annabeth.

The others immediately agreed. They turned to Annabeth expectedly.

"I already made plans actually," she tried to look sorry. "Percy and I are babysitting Paula over the weekend. Sally and Paul are going to some Creative Writing seminar in Long Island."

And that was true. They readily acceded to Sally's request without second thoughts because that meant they wouldn't have to worry about getting caught or heard while they engage in their private... shenanigans. Of course, they would actually be babysitting but Paula was a really behaved and easy to handle four-year-old. Plus, her bedtime was at 7PM. God knew what other things they could do with all their free time after that.

They all adored Percy's little sister so they nodded without question. All except Piper who gave her a dubious look.

When she excused herself to the library for a group project, Piper had jogged beside her to the hallway. The brunette turned to her, "You're spending an awful lot of time with Percy nowadays." She commented conversationally, going straight to the point.

Annabeth's face formed a little frown, "What are you talking about? We're always spending a lot of time with each other."

Piper nodded, "Yeah but... I don't know. Something is just different now."

Annabeth chuckled good-naturedly. "You're just reading into the situation too much." She stopped in front of her locker.

Piper leaned on the locker beside hers. She shrugged, "I'm usually right though." She pointed out, smirking.

Annabeth stared at her for a moment, seeing her eyes twinkling knowingly. She started depositing her belongings into the locker. Curiosly, she asked. "Well. Is it a good or bad different? Assuming, of course, that there is something different." She added quickly.

"I'm not sure, Annie." Piper replied honestly. "But I'm not one to judge."

Annabeth chuckled uncertainly, "Well..." She started, less confident this time. "There's nothing different." She repeated, as if saying it again would make it real.

Piper nodded, but it was obvious she didn't believe her. "Okay. But just in case there was something..." She gave Annabeth a concerned look. "I know you'd be wise in your decisions."

Annabeth believed there was something a little condescending in her statement but before she could spot it, Piper was grinning at her again - like she wasn't just being mysterious moments ago - and clapping her shoulder. "See you later, Annie."

Piper started to walk away. Before she could go far, she turned to Annabeth again and shot her a teasing smirk that Connor and Travis Stoll would be proud of. Her eyes held a mischievous glint. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Her brow curved up as an afterthought of her statement, as if to say 'Yet again, you already have, haven't you?'

Annabeth followed her retreating back until she turned to a corner and was out of sight. She sighed and closed her locker.

Honestly, she half expected Piper to suspect a month ago. She knew Piper wouldn't judge - she didn't when she and Luke were together. But oddly, she wanted this thing with Percy to be just between the two of them. It wasn't even really because of judgment. It was just something... Personal? Special? Intimate? No, intimate would be pushing the boundaries of the friends-with-benefits relationship. So was special.

She settled with personal. Personal was safe.

So, it was a personal affair that she didn't want to share with the world. She didn't want to share him to the world. As far as she knew, he was just hers.

/./ break /./

Annabeth found herself turning to the corner that would lead her to the pool. She was supposed to be in the library by now, where she'd meet her project mates and the Seaweed Brain. It had become a routine for them that after his daily swim practice, Percy would meet Annabeth in the library where he would patiently wait for her to finish her paperwork, or lounge a little further from the group that Annabeth was studying with, or if they were feeling a little daring, sneak to the furthest shelf and read, or make out, or read and make out. Either way, it was enjoyable.

But just before she could enter the library, her phone buzzed with Percy's text.

**Hey, Wise Girl. I can't come to the library today. Coach asked me to do extra laps. I have to stay until the end of library hours. Also, I'll be doing project stuff in between my laps. Can you believe that? I'm actually being school productive. I'll wait for you by the car. *wink emoji

Annabeth smiled and decided to pay him a visit, hence the detour. She neared the entrance just in time for Percy's team to shuffle out, goofing at each other, carrying their duffel bags. They spotted Annabeth and waved to her.

"Hi, Annabeth!" A blonde guy named Seth greeted her with a friendly grin. "Looking for the captain?"

She nodded, "He said he's doing extra laps today?"

He smiled lopsidedly, "Coach's request." He confirmed, motioning for the entrance. "Just go in. He's in there with his girlfriend."

That gave Annabeth a pause quicker than a pause button. She blinked. "I'm sorry?"

"Callie," he clarified, still beaming. "He's in there with Callie."

"Oh,"

He hoisted his duffel with a smile. "We'll be on our way, yeah?" At Annabeth's nod, he joined his friends again and they left.

Annabeth, however, was still rooted in her spot. He's in there with his girlfriend kept replaying in her head. Didn't they know that Percy and Callie had broken up over 3 months ago?

More importantly, why was she in there with Percy? Why were they by themselves?

She walked the few remaining steps to the pool. Her grip had tightened on the strap of her backpack. As soon as she entered the pool area, she immediately heard the splashing of water as Percy was finishing a lap. The area seemed empty aside from Percy. She stopped in her tracks though as soon as she spotted Callie, sitting by the bench near the pool, just observing him. She frowned. So she really was in there.

Percy rose out of the pool and Callie was instantly handing him his towel. He smiled gratefully and wiped himself as Callie picked a timer and clicked it.

"Your first 20-minute break starts… now." she announced and put it back down beside her bag.

Percy let his towel hanging around his neck as he moved to sit beside Callie. The brunette passed him a can of soda and a burger wrap. Annabeth remembered seeing Callie bringing two of each snack in the cafeteria earlier. She wanted to sneer bitterly. She never thought it would be for him.

Annabeth heard simultaneous hissing as they opened their cans. Percy took a sip and then turned to Callie. "Thanks for doing this, Cal." He said warmly.

Callie smiled in response. "It's not like this is new to me."

Annabeth gritted her teeth at the implication.

"Besides," Callie continued. "We don't have any other choice. I'll be away this weekend and this performance is due on Monday."

Percy nodded. "Plus, I think my teammates miss you hanging around while we practice."

Callie ducked her head shyly. She turned to the side and picked a guitar that Annabeth didn't notice was there. Callie strummed a few tunes. "You know, only Mrs. Henchman would assign a physics project that needs to be sung."

He snorted in agreement, "Great thing you can compose a song with equations. I mean, how would you sing a song about velocity?" He demonstrated an off-tune example. "Velocity equals distance multiplied by speed etc etc. Honestly, my eyes would just roll at the back of my head if I tried it."

Callie laughed pleasantly, and Percy joined in with her – as if they were sharing some inside joke. They looked so comfortable with each other. Far too comfortable for people who just broke up months ago. Annabeth wanted to punch something. She thought Callie was still in the keeping-her-distance phase of moving on? From her vantage point, there was hardly any distance between them.

When their laughter subsided, Callie handed a sheet of paper to Percy and began teaching him the tune. They joked most of the time and accomplished almost nothing when Percy's timer rung, his signal to complete another lap.

Annabeth hurried out of there before Percy's body hit the water. She didn't even register that she'd been standing there for over 20 minutes, just seething and fisting her bag's strap until four, deep, moon-shaped fingernail marks were digging through her palm.

People immediately gave way for her, seeing as she looked ready to murder anybody who dared block her path.

Needless to say, she was late for her group meeting and snapped at every single one of her group mates who were just too fucking stupid for this world.

/./ break /./

She beat Percy to the parking area. Annabeth was already leaning on his car when he appeared – hair still wet from the shower. Upon spying her, he waved to her and immediately beamed up. Normally, his smile would instantly soothe her nerves. Not today, though. Not today.

"Hey," he said as greeting when he reached her. "I thought you'd still be up in the library."

Annabeth inhaled and muttered tersely. "I decided to do the project myself. They were all brainless cretins."

Percy's brow curved up, surprised with the bite in her voice . "Are you okay? You sound tense."

She inhaled again. It was helping at least a little. "Fine. Let's go now."

Percy's face scrunched in confusion but did as he was told. He opened the car and started the engine. He kept glancing at Annabeth worriedly. She had not been speaking for 5 minutes straight. It would have been fine if she didn't emanate hot white tension. It was making Percy sweat even when the air conditioning in the car worked just fine.

Annabeth was glaring outside when Percy spoke anxiously. "Is there something wrong?"

You. She wanted to answer. Instead, she said "How was practice?" without looking at him.

She knew he was unnerved by her behavior but she didn't care. She was livid. And she was more livid that she was livid about something as mundane as two persons talking.

Flirting, she corrected herself. They were fucking flirting.

He stammered for a bit but caught himself just in time to sound enthusiastic. "I did 4 extra laps today with 20 minutes of break in between." He smiled. "I'm training my teammates next week for endurance because they'll also be taking turns doing the extra laps after regular practice."

"And what did you do with your 20 minutes in between?" She sounded cold and distant even to her own ears. But she couldn't help it. The rage seemed to have its own mind because it wasn't thinking rationally; just snarling unreasonably out of her mouth.

Percy didn't deter and continued to be a ray of sunshine. "Practiced for a physics performance. And no it wasn't some experiment or demonstration. It was a song of equations!" He declared happily, turning to Annabeth expectantly.

She didn't even look at him. She felt Percy's face falling. It was quiet for a moment; Percy was probably contemplating his words.

Finally, "Did I..." The worry in his voice made Annabeth feel triumphant. She shouldn't be the only one who felt like shit. "Did I do something?"

No, but you didn't do something. She furiously barked to herself. This time, she turned to Percy and pinned him a glare. He visibly recoiled as her look confirmed that he had done something.

"Your teammates," Annabeth told him. "They don't know that you and Callie have broken up."

He frowned, "I've told them. But they kept insisting that we were just cooling off."

"Aren't you?" Annabeth questioned testily, trying very hard not to lash out entirely.

"What?" Percy glanced back to her, more confused. "We broke up. You know that."

"So why didn't you tell me?" She gritted out.

His eyes look troubled as he glanced to her again. "Tell you what, Wise Girl?"

The use of her nickname fuelled her fire and she was barely able to contain her anger anymore. Her face was reddening from the effort of not screaming. "I went to the pool, Percy. I saw you with Callie."

"You went there? Why didn't you approach us? We-"

She cut him off with a loud cynic scoff. She really had to spell out everything for him, didn't she? "Why didn't you tell me you were gonna meet her for this project?" She spat venomously. "You left out that information quite conveniently."

He was looking at the road with so much bewilderment. Something was making Annabeth angry and he couldn't just pinpoint what the hell was making her snap at him like this.

"I didn't think it was important." Percy reasoned in mild anguish. It seemed he was dragged on edge along with Annabeth's wrath.

"It is!" Annabeth completely lost her temper now. Her voice had gone louder than she intended it to but she was so outraged to care. Percy's eyes widened at her unexpected yelling. He was so surprised that the car swiveled a little.

Annabeth's gray eyes were so dark they looked almost black. "It is important if you're sleeping with me and you're sleeping with her at the same time!"

Percy's face twisted in total disbelief and frustration. Annabeth glared at the side of his face. The whole car was on fire. The air conditioning was as good as broken – nonexistent even.

"You think I'm still sleeping with Callie?" He rasped out incredulously.

She didn't answer but she was breathing so hard and boring flaming holes through him. Suddenly, the car was pulled to the side. Percy bodily faced her, eyes thundering – like a storm brewing in the sea.

"You really think I'm like that?" He queried, a flash of disappointment crossing his features. "Some playboy who fucks around? Even if I was, you really think Callie would sleep with me even after we've broken up?"

"I don't know, Percy." She replied fumingly. "But she still loves you and that is something that you and I know for sure."

It took him a few seconds to answer. "But how can you believe that she – or for this matter I – will just fall into bed with her again?"

"Because why not, Percy?" She was screaming now. "It's not like you can't. This between us is just physical. But I would still like to know when I'm sharing you with another girl!"

"For God's sake, you're not, Annabeth!" Percy's voice also rose in exasperation.

She looked away because her eyes were brimming with tears. She was not crying because of this. This was a petty argument and she was not breaking down because of it.

As she tried to compose herself and even out her breathing, Percy reached and took her hand in between his. She turned and looked him in the eyes. He was gazing, piercing through her soul. She knew he was still vexed, but he was being the bigger person and controlling his emotions. His voice was soft and his face gentle – in contrast with how she knew she still looked when he said:

"I'm yours, Annabeth."

Still with her pent up bitterness, she pulled his neck close and kissed him with all the passion roiling in her body. An image of him and Callie popped at the back of her eyes and she drowned it out by kissing him even harder. He didn't complain. He was ready to take what she was willing to give.

Damn right, he was hers.

They only pulled apart for the need of air and because they were still inside the car, parked on some random roadside. They were technically on display. Percy reluctantly let go of Annabeth and started the engine once again. The whole ride home to the apartment was quiet but filled with tension - not the same one that they left the school with but a fiery, burning one at the pit of their stomachs that was begging for attention, a solution.

That night, when they laid beside each other after the tension had finally dissipated and gotten its most intimate release, Percy was peaceful and beautiful beside Annabeth. The same couldn't be said about her though. She was far from peaceful. The tension in her body just turned into fear.

Thinking back to the scene earlier, she was embarrassed and enraged with herself. She acted like some irrational fool.

"Stop thinking, Wise Girl." Percy whispered, pulling her closer to his body. "I told you I'm yours."

He kissed the top of her head and went back to sleeping.

Piper's words earlier echoed in her mind. I know you'd be wise in your decisions.

To be wise was to be rational. To be rational was to stay away from that awful feeling. To stay away from that awful feeling was to stay away from the person igniting it.

She let out a huge sigh and closed her eyes.

/./ break /./

Her wise decision was contacting Luke Castellan three weeks later. She couldn't take it anymore. Every time she saw Percy and Callie, she was plagued with the scene in the car again and again and she loathed the feeling of being trapped in a situation where she was drowning in insecurities. She already had enough experience with insecurities because of her mother. She didn't want to see Percy's face and fall to the pit. He was supposed to be her lifeline from it.

Not only was her sanity at stake, but her chance of getting into an excellent University.

She absolutely didn't need the distraction. She had to keep her grades flawless or risk revoking admission offers from the three Universities she applied for. That would be tremendously horrific and utterly embarrassing.

She had to do this.

"I'm sorry. What did you say?" Luke said through the phone.

Annabeth attempted to hide her irk for having to repeat all that she said. She settled with the last one she told him. "I said, I am making a choice."

"Yes, I heard you." Luke replied. "I'm just giving you the chance to listen to what you just told me."

Annabeth wanted to strangle him. "What do you think I've been doing for the past weeks? I've thought this out repeatedly."

"And this is what you thinking came up with?"

She gritted her teeth. "Stop patronizing me, asshole. Just tell me if you're too chicken to do it."

He scoffed, "Jealousy is a nasty, nasty bitch."

"Shut up," she growled. "I didn't say anything about being jealous."

He snorted. "Funny. Because everything you just narrated to me boils to that one word."

"You know if you won't do it, I'll just hang up." She didn't have enough strength to argue with a douche bag.

Finally, the man on the other end sighed. "Fine. If you're entirely certain-"

She didn't even let him finish. She said with a steel voice, "I am."

"All right. Just text me the when and where. I'll be down."

Two beats passed. "I will." She was about to hung up when Luke spoke again.

"You know, you're the smartest person I have ever come across with, Chase. Don't be an idiot, it doesn't suit you."

She ended the call.

/./ break /./

Another week later, on a Sunday afternoon, Annabeth's phone buzzed for the hundredth time. She looked down and saw that it was a text from Percy. He had been calling all day. She purposely ignored them.

**Wise Girl! There's something I have been excited to tell you since Wednesday. You're not answering your phone. Maybe you're busy? It's fine. I can go to yours. Your aunt won't be there so I'll just let myself in and go straight to your room, okay? *Key icon *kiss emoji

An hour after receiving the text, Annabeth could hear the front door being opened. It must be Percy. She instinctively paused from kissing Luke. The man tugged her so she would look into his eyes. He was trying to tell him that they could still stop and neglect this plan but hearing Percy's footsteps trudging excitedly up the stairs, she was half wishing he would just turn back but deep in her mind, she knew he wasn't. He really was coming to her room and would be falling right into Annabeth's trap.

Luke's grip on her shoulder tightened and his eyes already looked a little panicked after spying the anguish in her face. He began to pull away but Annabeth shut her eyes tight and pulled him back in with all the force she had, kissing him and thinking This is it. It'll all be over now. It'll all be over.

He was caught by surprise but tightened his grip on her waist and the back of her head. From a distance, they'd probably look like a horny couple in an intense make out session that was about to progress further should they remain undisturbed. Annabeth's upper body was already bare - she had divested herself of her shirt and bra which were both lying on the floor where they'd been thrown. Luke's shirt was also among the pieces of clothing on the floor with his pants. Both their faces were flushed.

Annabeth heard her room door opening and she whimpered in Luke's lips because there was no way out of this anymore. She wanted this, she reminded herself. She needed the freedom from these confusing, strange emotions. There was no way she could ever walk away from Percy. So she'd let him do the walking away. Much like what Luke did to assure Thalia would let him go.

"Annabeth!" The knob turned. "Wise Girl, look I have some great ne-what" when she heard the keys jingling as they fell on the floor, she knew. She knew immediately that it was over.

They pulled apart and Luke was the first to peer to the door to see Percy. She didn't want to turn and see the hurt in his face. She hurt when he hurt. But slowly, she twisted her body and saw him. He was by the open door, rooted to the ground, with a look of horror in his face. Time for the theatrics, Annabeth inwardly sneered to herself.

She snatched her bra on the floor and put them on as she climbed away from Luke, feigning annoyance. "Percy. Why would you just turn up unannounced?"

She couldn't even look straight to his eyes because she knew she'd be looking at it trembling, shaking, confused, angry...

..betrayed.

"What's the meaning of this?" The way he said that... Annabeth's instinct was to immediately appease the obvious pain in them.

Instead, she played her role well. "It means what it looks like Percy." She said through gritted teeth.

He looked back and forth between her and Luke – who had reached for his shirt and worn them, now just looking at the scene that was Annabeth and Percy's friendship coming to an end. His face was contorting in different ways but one thing was for sure. He was trying not to cry. Annabeth could see the tears filling in his eyes though and she hated herself. She fucking hated herself.

"I... I don't understand." He said desperately, searching Annabeth's eyes for answers.

"Yes, it appears so." She snapped because if she didn't act angry, she would be crying even before he did. "You have difficulties with understanding things. But this is mocking you in the face Percy. I guess you're not that stupid."

"What are you doing, Annabeth?" His eyes were begging her to stop. To just apologize and he would forget it even happened. "You won't do this."

Her face distorted angrily. "What, sleep with my ex behind your back? I already did! Because I want it. I'm doing what I want, Percy."

"But..." His voice was caught in his throat and his green eyes pleading. He whispered brokenly. "What about me?"

She was unable to answer for a while. She had planned her lines for when he screamed at the top of his lungs and accused her of being a cheat or a cheap girl or anything an angry person would spat out without thinking twice. But she didn't expect him to be whispering and pleading for her to stop. She was trying to make him snap but all she did was break him. She broke him.

"... I guess it means you're not what I want." Her voice didn't even falter when she said it or closed up on her. She despised herself even more. She was doing this so perfectly that Percy was just there, immobile, the keys still on the floor.

Annabeth finally looked to his eyes and his usual vibrant green eyes were now dull.

She couldn't stand it anymore. "Just leave, Percy."

Like lights turning off on her, she could practically feel her world blanketed in darkness as he finally looked down in defeat. He bent and picked the fallen keys. He put it on a nearby nightstand and turned his back wordlessly. The door closed behind him with a gentle click.

She had pictured him walking away screaming, slamming the door on her face. That would have been better! Better than this. It was like seeing herself and Luke snuff the fight out of him – drained him of everything else aside from the little strength he used to turn his back.

Minutes after he had left and the front door closing, she was still staring at the door on her room where he had previously stood. The tears she was holding back were gushing out in streams now. What the hell had she done?

Luke had already picked his jeans and was ready to leave. Even he looked disappointed. How dare he? He was the one who gave her this idea when he told her about how he and Thalia broke up. He shouldn't be there pinning her with a regretful stare.

"I'm sorry, Annabeth." He said. What the hell was he apologizing for? What was he sorry about?! She wanted to shout at him and accuse him and just hurt him but she was too weak. She just watched him as he made ready to go – his role already played.

"We both made the same mist- choice." Luke corrected himself as he looked at her. "I am truly hoping that you won't regret yours."

Before he stepped out, he turned to her one last time. "Just so you know, your plan worked. You lost him."

Annabeth hurled every item within her reach even before Luke was completely out of the house. She didn't care if he heard her. She didn't fucking care.

By the time her aunt came home, her room was in a state of chaos; like a tornado centered on the area. The kind lady scooped her up and hugged her and she didn't fight it. She sank into her as she fell off the pit.

Her lifeline was gone.

/./ curt /./

Songs featured:

Back to December by Taylor Swift

This fic already has an ending painted in my head. Just a few more chapters and we're done! I'm thinking 17 or 18 chapters.

Thank you so much for the continued support and for sharing your thoughts on this story You guys are my inspiration to keep going!