Author's note: So this is a continuation of my last Star War's fic, (Mis)adventures in Protocol and Friendship. You don't need to read that to understand this, but as of this latest movie (TLJ), it's not canon. I just took too long getting around to actually writing this.
Poe disentangled himself from the debrief after Starkiller as soon as was physically possible. It wasn't hard, General Organa was pale and rigid in her self-control, but even she wanted this done with quickly. Poe had thought the phrase white-lipped was just a literary device destined for datapad novels, but looking at the general now, he could see the skin around her mouth bleached from the effort to keep everything in, to keep control of herself.
"General Organa," he said, putting a hand on her arm.
She tried to smile at him, shrugging the arm off, "I'm fine. Go see to your friend. I understand he's in the med bay."
Poe wanted to stay- General Leia Organa had been the one to support him after his mother's death, and he wanted to be that for her- but the distance between the Princess of Alderaan and the crowds celebrating was growing. He would give her the time to grieve alone, before imposing kindness on her. So he only offered her a tired smile, a salute and left her to it.
"Take care of her?" he murmured to Chewbacca as he passed him. The Wookie patted him on the back; Poe's knees almost buckled.
Poe managed not to break into a run until the door had shut, BB-8 bumping into his heels, and he didn't let up until he reached the med bay. Finn was unconscious when Poe made it into the med bay, floating in a bacta tank. Poe skidded to a stop, stomach turning at the sight. His friend, his new friend…
But someone whirled up, a chair flying out from underneath them, in front of the tank, chest heaving, scrabbling for something at her belt. Something slid off her shoulders- his jacket? It was a girl, Finn's age, with hair pulled into three buns down her neck. Her clothing was thin, it smelled of smoke and something more acrid. She was thin too.
And he was pretty sure that the cylinder of metal she was pointing at him was the hilt of a lightsaber, and if she ignited it the blade would go right through his stomach.
Poe was drunk on exhaustion, and he'd gotten banged up a bit, so he felt he deserved to be excused for how long it took for him to connect the dots.
"You must be Rey."
Her frown tightened; she drew herself up, defensiveness creeping into her posture, "I am."
Belatedly, Poe stuck out a hand, "Poe Dameron."
Instantly, her expression cleared. "Dameron. You're the pilot. Finn said you didn't survive escaping the First Order- does BB-8 know? We need to find him-"
Poe raised both hands, "Take it easy. We found each other."
Rey looked away. Poe wasn't sure why she was embarrassed, but he was sure that was the expression over her face. "He was worried about you. Finn."
"And I was worried about him!" Poe replied easily, "We have a lot to thank you for around here, but I'm probably happiest that you saved him from the First Order."
She went pink. "Right." She fell silent then, looking back at the figure in the tank. Distress twisted her face.
"Did they say anything?"
Her mouth was a thin line. "They said he's still alive."
/
Poe had figured they could take shifts holding vigil for Finn, one of them watching over the unconscious friend while the other got food and slept. Rey had not, as it turned out, figured the same thing. And he hadn't counted on Rey apparently being a force of nature.
She didn't leave for food, she didn't leave for debrief. She didn't even sleep, only curled up in her chair so that her head was next to Finn's on the cot and dozed. Any attempts at conversation with her were shut down with a scowl. She wouldn't leave to use the 'fresher without snapping at Poe and having BB-8 swear up and down in binary that they wouldn't let anyone touch Finn.
"You speak binary?" Poe asked with interest.
Rey looked startled and distinctly unhappy to be reminded of his presence, "I understand it," she said shortly, and made BB-8 relay her instructions back to her. Poe tried very hard to not be upset that he was included on the list of people banned from touching Finn while out of her line of sight.
She was back in under than a minute, not very refreshed.
"You clean up nice," he offered, hoping that this would make her forgive him for whatever it was he'd done.
It did not.
A few hours after dawn, Medic Smina came in to tell them that the general wanted to hear Rey's version of what had happened.
"She can talk to Chewbacca," Rey said flatly, not budging even as Poe stood and tried to work the kinks out of his back.
"She requested your account."
Rey hesitated, torn. One of her hands snaked into Finn's.
"You should go report in," Poe told her quietly, reassuring, "I'll take care of him."
Her expression shuttered closed. "I'm not leaving him with anyone!"
General Organa was amused when she showed up with her escort in the small room. Rey stood at a clumsy approximation of at-attention but didn't leave Finn's side. Poe made himself as small and inconsequential as he could and watched them, the lines of weariness and grief that were pressed into General Organa's face as they spoke. Rey's face was still a hard thing to puzzle out, but from the way BB-8 hovered around her, Poe would guess that she was nervous.
"It's an honor to meet you," she said awkwardly to the General, but didn't leave the med bay.
Poe went out to get food periodically. The first time he did was the morning after the battle at Starkiller. When he came back Rey, who hadn't slept a wink, had shifted her chair to Finn's side and curled up so her head and arm fit into the spot beside his head. Poe put the trays down on the table as quietly as he could but her eyes still snapped open.
"Sorry," he said, trying for a winning smile, "I got you something to eat though. It slipped our minds last night, which is odd; never usually happens with me…" He was babbling, he knew, but Poe babbled when he was nervous and he didn't understand why she was acting like she was still on Starkiller Base.
Inexplicably, Rey's hand went to her pocket. It came back out empty. "I can't pay for it," she said, and immediately put her head back down.
"That's fine, doesn't matter at all."
Open went the eyes; up came the head. Rey looked at him for the first time, not with suspicion, but with outright disdain.
"It doesn't matter at all," she echoed flatly, "Really."
"Really."
Rey's eyes flicked to the food, then back to his face. She didn't reach for it.
"Think of it as a thanks for beating Ren's ass with a saber present," he offered, pushing it towards her. He'd been there for that part of the debrief too, and though it had clearly pained General Organa, he was selfishly glad to think that Kylo Ren had suffered. "I owe you for that."
She actually grinned, just for a minute. Poe mentally cheered as she reached for the food. It was just about the closest they got to an actual conversation.
/
Poe didn't hear that Rey was leaving from her; she still wasn't talking much to him, but when he did go to the med bay to ask after it she cornered him about it. Cornered him quite literally, actually. Poe had barely crossed over the threshold when a hand shot out and pulled him off his feet, slamming him into the wall.
Poe's first thought was of Finn, of the way he'd first met the Stormtrooper, which was a tad sentimental. But it wasn't Finn, still unconscious on the sick-bed, who was glaring at him. It was Rey, lips pulled back in a fairly feral snarl.
"I'm paying for his treatment," she said fiercely, "If he wakes up, I'm paying for everything. You can tell me how much it costs and I'll cover it. Understand?"
"No one has to pay for it," he said, bewildered, "It's free. It's for the Resistance."
Her mouth worked furiously. Rey looked like she'd like nothing more than to knock him unconscious against the wall of the med bay. "You'll tell me how much it costs, and I'll pay for it!" she repeated in a furious growl, "Understand?"
It was at this point that Poe decided it was better to just go along with whatever the newest Jedi wanted. Safer, at any rate, while her elbow was this close to his throat.
"Yes, ma'am."
She stared at him, still fierce, as if she was trying to judge his soul. Poe tried very hard not to think about Kylo Ren, clawing his way through Poe's memories and taking anything he wanted, while Poe couldn't do anything, couldn't protect the people he cared about…
It was very hard to not think about Kylo Ren, these days.
So he was distracted when she huffed, not so much an admission of trust as knowledge that something would have to do, and let him drop back so that he was standing under his own power.
"We'll work out payment when I get back," she said in a mutter, not looking at him, "Just you and me. No one else. Are we clear?"
Not in the slightest. In fact, all Poe could think about was the warnings his mother had given him as a child about stranger danger.
"Crystal clear."
Later though, when he'd all but dozed off in the chair, he heard her speaking to BB-8.
"You'll make sure they don't try to make him pay for it. He'll be weak when he wakes up, he won't be able to. Protect him for me, alright?"
Poe wanted to tell her that he would be the one protecting Finn, thank-you-very-much, that Finn was here and he was safe and Poe would sooner let someone steal his X-Wing than let Finn come to harm, but he didn't bother. Somehow, nothing he said to Rey came out in a way she understood. Maybe by the time Rey returned to the base, Poe would have figured out a way to talk to her without her wanting to kill him.
BB-8 whirred at her, and Rey made a soft, frustrated noise.
"He doesn't know how the world works. Any of it. They'll take advantage of him. It's up to us. Alright?"
Poe didn't have to speak binary to hear BB's agreement to that. Rey sank in her chair, sighing in relief, and rested her head on her knees.
The next morning, as she was preparing to leave, Rey inched closer to him.
"I should have your comm information," she said reluctantly, face turned to Finn on the table so she didn't have to look at him. She was still glaring, but her face went softer when she looked at Finn. Poe felt the same way, but it was still surprising, to see this terrifying girl soften, even just this little bit. He didn't feel old all that often, but he remembered how much younger this lot was when they aren't threatening to kill him and it made him feel ancient.
"I'll send you pictures," he offered that face, and it vanished as her head snapped back to him, "So you can see how he's recovering."
Rey didn't smile at that, but some of that softness shone through all the same. It was in the eyes. Then it was gone again.
"I'll contact you," she said as if she didn't have much of a choice.
/
The first time she called was two cycles into her trip. Poe was dozing, and jumped out of his skin when her brusque voice was forced through.
"What's his status?"
Poe scrambled for the device. Rey's face scowled down at him.
"Rey! Hello, how's your trip so far?"
She looked taken aback, forgetting for a moment to look so fierce.
"The ship is fine."
"Not the ship, how are you?"
If anything, she looked more confused, like the thought hadn't even occurred to her. Then she shook it off.
"What's his status?" she demanded again, "Where's Finn, where is he? Where- are you still in the sickbay?"
"Mmm." His back wouldn't hurt this much if he didn't.
Inexplicably, Rey's face darkened.
"What are you doing there?"
Poe was too tired to be offended. He rubbed his face, trying to will energy into his body. Why didn't the sickbay come with a caf machine? It sure as hell needed one.
"Don't want him to wake up alone. He won't know where he is."
There was something painful in Rey's expression. He'd only seen her angry so far; it took a minute to recognize the expression as remorse.
"I couldn't wait for him," she said, and Poe couldn't tell if she was trying to reassure him or herself, "We need Skywalker."
And maybe she was tired too, because she wasn't quick able to disguise how upset she was.
"I'll comm you as soon as he wakes up," Poe found himself promising, "I'm sure he'll understand. The Force, and all."
"That's not how the Force works," muttered the girl, but she wasn't glaring at him anymore. After the disastrous previous attempts Poe would tentatively count that as a win. Maybe he could keep it going.
"In fact, you can check on him now if you want, since you're already here." Carefully, he turned the com so that she could see Finn, still unconscious on his bed. It was awkward to hold it at that angle, but Poe didn't mind doing that, not for Finn's friend.
Rey was silent for a long time. Poe didn't dare turn it back around, until-
"He hasn't woken up yet?"
"Not yet. The medics say it should be another week or two," Poe said as he turned the comm back around. Rey looked absolutely baffled by this. "I mean, it was a pretty serious injury. It'll take time to heal, and it's probably better he's unconscious for some of it, right?"
"Anyone who was unconscious for this long on Jakku was dead," Rey said flatly, and Poe tried very, very hard to not let her see how deeply that unnerved him, "Or drugged."
Poe tried equally as hard to not make think about how she knew that. "We-ell, we do have some pretty advanced equipment here."
Rey chewed her lip, turning her attention back to it.
"It looks new."
"Not that new. But still good. We'll take good care of him, I promise."
Rey ignored that. Poe was starting to get dizzy trying to keep up with her emotions. "How much has it cost so far?" she demanded instead of responding.
"Yes, about that. I meant to tell you-" once you were far enough away to keep you from murdering me if I pissed you off- "I don't think you understood that the medbay is free to all the Resist-"
"I understood fine!"
"Alright!" he said hastily.
She scowled at him. Rey had three different expressions as far as he could tell: scowl, glower, and murderous rage.
"I can't tell you what I don't know!" he told her, exasperated.
Rey's frown turned inward as she thought that over.
"Fine. I'll find out myself, and then we'll discuss it."
"I'm free tomorrow night," he offered, and the newest hero of the resistance looked at him like something she'd stepped on, "If you want to check on him again."
He barely understood what she was talking about when she spoke, so maybe it wasn't surprising that he didn't understand the changes her expression went through; happiness, relief, suspicion, and then back to a frown.
"Tomorrow night," she repeated, more a confirmation than a goodbye, and then she was gone.
/
Things settled, as much as they ever did for a semi-nomadic Resistance. The spies kept reporting, the work kept getting done. Poe juggled spending time worrying over Leia and Finn as he rushed through supply runs.
Rey called during nights, not every day, but often enough that Poe started to expect a comm call whenever he was just starting to doze off. If he wasn't in the medbay, the conversations didn't last longer than it took for Rey to confirm that Finn was still alive. But if he was, Rey would frown in a way that Poe gradually realized meant she wanted to see him but didn't want to ask, and then would stare at Finn's sleeping form for a long moment.
"You look tired," Poe offered one night. Rey blinked at him.
"I'll find Master Skywalker soon," she said, "We're just a few more days away."
She hadn't mentioned paying for the equipment recently, a development that Poe was cautiously optimistic about. She also hadn't looked as if she wanted to kill him.
Then Finn woke up. Rather, Poe woke up, and Finn was awake and staring at him. Poe jumped up, relieved to have something besides medics' promises to see that Finn would be healing, and hugged him. Even through the jacket, Poe could feel the scars that Kylo Ren had left on him.
"Rey," Finn rasped when Poe let go of him. "Where is Rey?"
"She's alright," Poe told him. Finn sagged back on the cot, and Poe hadn't been able to see just how scared he'd been until he wasn't anymore. "She's searching for Skywalker with Chewbacca. The Wookie almost had to pry her out of the room, she was so worried about you. We all were." A ball of chrome rolled solidly into his leg. Poe bit down on a grin, giddy at the sight of Finn's eyes on him, Finn's eyes open and awake. "BB-8 too."
Finn stared some more. Then slowly, slowly, disbelief and then a savage joy lit up his face.
"We did it," he breathed.
And it had been a week since the attack on Starkiller, forever in resistance time since they'd won the battle, but Poe hadn't been able to taste it until this moment. He grabbed Finn's hand, just to feel the beat of success in his veins.
"We did it," he echoed, and it was like he'd realized it for the first time himself.
/
Medic Smina was the one who came when Poe called, who adjusted the machines and performed a scan to see what other damage they would need to look out for. Poe listened to her explain the extent of Finn's injuries and wanted to kill Ren all over again. He was starting a list of injuries to hold Kylo Ren accountable for, and just between himself and the damage Smina was describing it was already as long as his arm.
He tried to focus on organizing what to say to Rey, how to describe Finn's injuries to her. She had a gruff economy with words when she spoke and he couldn't tell whether she disliked it when he ran on or if she just disliked him.
Fingers curled tentatively into his shirt. Poe looked down at where Finn was lying on the cot, a sick look on his face.
"What is it?" The medic was gone by now, but she would come back quickly if Poe asked. The story surrounding Finn and Rey had spread like wildfire through the rebel forces, and Finn was already something of a hero.
"How am I supposed to work?" Finn whispered, and that question was so incongruous with anything Poe had been thinking about, with the list of injuries and weeks of recovery the medic had outlined and galactic roulette of comming Rey, that his mind went completely blank in the face of it.
"What?"
Finn squirmed.
"She said it would take months for me to be back to normal. How am I supposed to work like that?"
And Poe understood even less than he had in the beginning. "You're not supposed to. You're supposed to rest. I don't think you understand how badly you were hurt." They hadn't been able to tell Poe if he would even make it, for a few heart-stopping hours in the beginning. He and Rey had basically lived in these cramped little chairs, trying to translate medic-speak and each others's words.
"Anyone who was unconscious for this long on Jakku was dead. Or drugged." That was what Rey had said, and though Poe had known Finn wasn't either of those things, it had still been wrenching to see him lying there, unmoving.
/
Poe had promised to comm Rey the instant that Finn woke up, and he was already pushing his luck waiting this long. But if he was already in for a credit, he might as well go for broke.
So he showed Finn how to work his old cobbled-together model of a comm and sat back as Finn entered in the call.
Rey opened it without even paying attention, entering adjusting some of the flight settings on the Millenium Falcon.
"Why are you calling? Has there been a change in Finn's status?" she asked, and Poe had the perfect vantage point to see the look of sly mischief spread over Finn's face.
"Yeah, I would say so," he said. Rey's head snapped up, taking in Finn, beaming at her from where he was enthroned in pillows and blankets.
Poe hadn't ever seen Rey actually happy, not in all the time they were living at Finn's bedside, not a single one of the comms. But her face lit up now, nothing short of delight on her face. She lunged for the holo, hands going out. She was trying to touch Finn's face where the holo showed on her end.
For his part, Finn was just as glad.
"You're al-awake!" she said, the correction coming so fast that Finn completely missed it. Poe very nearly did as well. "When did you wake up, how do you feel? Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," he told her, which wasn't quite the truth. Rey gave him a look.
"I wrote down what the medic said," volunteered Poe. Rey's eyes snapped to him, and he grinned a little, waving a hand. "I can tell you later. Don't let him fool you; he will be alright, but he's not quite there yet." Rey nodded, completely ignoring Finn's protests, and went back to grinning at him.
"Where are you, anyway?" Finn demanded, "I want to hear everything. The medbay is boring."
And Rey told him. All the questions Poe had asked, that she'd brushed off or reacted to with outright hostility, the answers came unbidden now. That hurt a little, but Poe tried to push that away. Rey was just as new to all of this as Finn, and neither of them knew more than the face of the Resistance. Of course she wouldn't trust him yet.
"You coming back for us?" Finn teased her as their free time ran out.
Rey gaped at him, like there was only one answer to the question and she couldn't believe he didn't see it. /Rey was clearly surprised by the question, but Poe couldn't think of why that might be.
"Of course. You came back for me. I'll always come back for you." There was no doubt that for her, this was the only answer to the question, and she couldn't believe Finn hadn't seen it himself.
Then she turned to Poe, "Take care of him."
And Poe still barely knew this girl, who'd been scowling at him and demanding questions about medical equipment and cost for the better part of weeks now. But he could see a little how desperately she cared about Finn's safety. How much it cost her to have to entrust Poe with it. Even if it was clear she didn't like doing it, it was a privilege.
"Of course I will."
The medic came then, and Poe was ushered out of the room, comm in hand, while they worked. It was only in the hall that he realized Rey hadn't shut off the line the instant they left Finn's room.
"Thank you," she told him, "For taking care of him."
Poe shrugged. "He's my friend too."
"I'll pay you back," she promised.
"You don't have to." He didn't understand why she couldn't seem to grasp this. Finn had been instrumental in helping them take down Starkiller. Even if he wanted nothing to do with the Resistance after that, they would have helped him. And judging by the way he'd taken to filling out those datapads, it didn't seem likely he was leaving. That was the point of them, what made them better than the First Order.
"I will," she insisted, a flash of her old fierceness showing through. But she added, "Thank you," one last time before she cut the transmission.
/
Poe left Finn happily surrounded by data pads and went to sleep in his actual bed for once.
He woke up a few hours later with blood in his mouth, his cheek torn from where he'd bitten it to keep from screaming, and seeing all his things spread around him, for a minute that lasted an eternity he thought he was still captured, that Kylo Ren was still delving into his mind to search for the rebels. He was cold. His blankets were soaked through with sweat, and he couldn't stop shaking, couldn't breathe normally. His face was wet too.
There was no going back to sleep after that, though Poe gave it his best shot.
The comm on his desk pinged with an incoming message, the noise unnaturally shrill in the stillness. Poe groped for it and turned it on.
"Mm?"
Someone started to speak and then stopped. Poe forced his head off the pillow. Rey was staring at him.
"You're not in the medbay."
"It's three hours to dawn. No, I'm not."
He wished she would get off the comm so he could go to sleep. He was tired and Leia was still grieving and Finn was still hurt and he couldn't do anything about it. He could never do anything about it. He could still feel Kylo Ren's fingers in his mind, pulling out secrets and endangering his people. Friends were dead because he hadn't been strong enough to keep Ren out. He didn't have enough energy to deal with Rey's verbal jabs just now.
She opened her mouth and then closed it again. Poe closed his eyes, willing her to turn off the comm, but the silence and the look on her face bothered him. He opened them again, turning back towards the comm.
Rey was still there, not looking directly into the transmitter, but she hadn't hung up. There was a bleak expression on her face, something skittish and poorly masked.
Poe sat up.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," she said, though people didn't comm at all hours of the night because things were going well, "I just…" she faltered. "I wanted to make sure that Finn's status hadn't changed."
Her voice was wavering. She hid it fairly well, but Poe had just woken up from a nightmare too, and now that he could hear that he could recognize the expression on her face.
"The medic says he's doing well for his injuries," Poe told her, "It'll still take a while to heal, but he's doing much better. Only reason he's still in the medbay is they want to keep him for observation, honestly."
Slowly, Rey nodded. The hologram of her shoulders rose and fell as she breathed out. The information hadn't changed since she'd last called, but it was clearly a relief to hear.
"Right. Good." She rubbed at something on her face and then adopted the brisk tone she usually used with him. "I didn't mean to wake you. Sorry. I'll let you-"
"It's fine." He smiled wanly. "I wasn't sleeping much anyway."
Rey looked up, back at him. Poe wondered if she hadn't been sleeping much either. In their brief encounters, Rey had seemed like the kind of person who would terrify nightmares, but if she was fine, what was she doing calling at three hours to dawn to make sure Finn was alright?
(She'd been on Starkiller Base too, when everything had gone to hell. She'd been captured by Kylo Ren.)
Poe dragged a hand through his hair. Not like he would have gone back to sleep anyway, he told himself ruefully.
"He's already gotten himself a job," he told her, settling the holo more comfortably so he could sit up, "I don't know how, but he's managed to get all these data pads, and he's working on tech support or something."
There was a long silence on the other end of the comm. Then, tentatively, Rey spoke.
"What about BB-8?"
They kept up the conversation for a few hours, and if it was awkward, at least it wasn't violent. It was almost like a date, if two people awkwardly scoping out the friend of their mutual friend could be called a date. Rey didn't seem to know what tone to take, shifting between awkward and belligerent and something almost shy.
Until he mentioned his X-Fighter, anyway. Rey perked right up then.
"What model is it?" she asked, and then, "How do the 5L5 fusial thrust split-engines handle?", and before long they were embroiled in a debate about what modifications could make a ship go faster or blow it up before it reached the runway.
"I found most of a T-65C-A2 X-wing Starfighter on Jakku," she rattled off the numbers with a grin, and Poe didn't blame her, "The KX9 laser cannons were shot, but the flashback suppressors worked well enough on their own. I got a good price at the trading station for them, but I kept the laser tips."
"That model's legendary," Poe said, "I wish I could have seen it, even if it wasn't intact." He yawned. He had a supply run to do in the morning, and then he wanted to start bringing his crew to meet Finn. They'd been asking after him, and he had a feeling Jessika would sneak in and start telling Finn all kinds of embarrassing stories if he didn't take the matter in hand.
Rey's expression wavered in the holo, unsure again.
"Finn said you broke out of the Stormtrooper base together. That you'd been captured."
Sleepiness had begun to settle over him again, but at this question he woke up fully. Wariness seeped through him, along with most of the remnants of his nightmare he'd been trying to forget.
"Yes. Why?"
Rey hesitated again.
"Was Kylo Ren there?"
Poe went cold. Rey read the answer in his face.
"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked. I- sorry." The holo vanished. Cursing, Poe lunged for the machine, entering in the Falcon's comm information. He'd spent the last month trying to have an actual conversation with Rey, and the one time he managed it he bungled it up just as quickly. No one picked up. He sent the call through again.
Rey picked up this time, but she didn't look happy about it.
"I shouldn't have said anything," she said immediately, before Poe had a chance to open his mouth, scrubbing at her face again, "I should have just left it alone. I'm sorry."
"No, it's…it's alright." That was a lie, and from the look Rey gave him, it wasn't even a good one. "Yeah. He was there. He had some questions for me." He'd found out where the map to Skywalker had been from Poe. He'd ripped it out of his mind, and Poe hadn't been able to stop him. Everything had almost been lost because Poe hadn't been able to keep Kylo Ren from tearing through his mind.
Copper flooded his mouth. He'd bitten the inside of his cheek again.
Rey rubbed her arms, looking away.
"He was on Starkiller too."
And Poe had known that, had known he'd kidnapped Rey. Finn was in the medbay with swathes of muscle destroyed because he'd nearly died trying to get her back. But Rey was so fierce that it was easy to forget that she'd needed help with anything.
God, and she was so young.
"Did he hurt you?"
Rey looked up at him. Her arms were crossed over her chest, but the defensive tilt of her shoulders made it less of a defiance, more of a shield. She was so young. She looked as cold as he felt.
"He tried," she bit out, but it didn't come off quite as terrifying as she'd meant it too, not when she was hugging herself like that.
Well, that was a good reason to be up in the middle of the night. Same as Poe, at any rate.
"Glad you paid him back," he said, and there was still enough of the nightmare in his bones that it came out nearly feral in pleasure.
Rey looked at him. She still looked cold. More than that, she looked lonely.
"I did," she muttered, mostly to herself. Rubbed at her arms again.
And Poe could have bowed out then, only this was the first conversation they'd managed that didn't end with them arguing about the cost of machinery they weren't paying for or with scowling, and he'd never been good at not pressing his luck.
And she looked lonely.
"So what other ships did you spot on Jakku?" he asked, steering the conversation back to something he knew neither of them would muck up too badly. Rey was a little too grateful to be back on track.
/
That conversation went well enough, and Poe navigated the next as Finn's background as the two beamed at each other and restrained themselves from trying to touch each other through the holo, though Poe saw Finn sit on his hands so he wasn't sure it counted. Finn was a star, burning bright with happiness as he filled Rey in on everything that had been going on, the med bay and his datapads, and the embarrassing stories that Jessika was sneaking him. Rey was more restrained, but not by much ("It rains here, Finn, water just falls right out of the sky!"). Watching them, Poe could almost think that everything was already ok.
And then Finn somehow managed to get himself all the way to the General's office, and then collapsed there.
Poe didn't even know about it. The supply run he'd been overseeing had been attacked, and Pava's support hadn't been enough to get him out completely unscathed. He being lectured about his field care of his head injury when BB-8 came charging up, shrieking in binary about Finn panicking. Poe ran, darting through corridors and dodging medics when he reached the bay and heard Finn's voice high and cracking.
Finn was crying when Poe burst into the room, but Poe didn't think he'd noticed. His chest hitched up and down, and once he saw Poe he started pleading, babbling something but his words didn't make any sense. They ran together; for a breath Poe thought that they'd missed some sign of infection, that Finn was delirious. But General Organa wouldn't be standing there, tight-lipped, if that was the case.
They got it out of him eventually. General Organa did, anyway, while Poe stood there slack-jawed and useless as it all poured out of Finn. All the work he'd been insisting he was ready to do, all the times the medics had complained to Poe that he was pushing too far in his therapy sessions, and making it all the way to the General's tent, was because he thought they were going to kill him if he didn't give them enough reasons to not.
General Organa was the one who got it out of him, just like she was the one who got supplies to help him. Poe was still standing there, shackled by Finn's hand on his arm, unable to so much as breathe.
"This whole debacle tonight. This has been you following protocol."
"I've been trying," he said, voice cracking, and Poe could see it now, all of it. Finn's distress at bedrest and the datapads and mentions of the word useful, all unfolding in front of Poe like a map.
He'd been so worried about all of this, and he hadn't even asked Poe. Had he thought Poe would just go along with it?
And Poe hadn't noticed any of it. He'd completely overlooked the entire thing. His uselessness yawned in front of him. He'd failed his mission to find Skywalker, he'd failed to keep anything from Kylo Ren, he'd failed to protect Finn.
He'd failed to protect Finn.
The General was talking to Finn, who was looking baffled but less like he thought they were going to kill him. Poe had to pull himself together but he couldn't. He couldn't do anything right.
"Poe?" Finn's voice was small. General Organa was gone now, and it was just the two of them. Finn looked upset. "Poe, what's wrong?" he asked, like he couldn't even see how badly Poe had messed up, how awful it was that everything Finn had ever known had him convinced they would kill him for outstaying his welcome.
With difficulty, Poe stood straighter and dragged a hand across his face. Rey was counting on him to keep Finn safe. Even if he didn't deserve it, Finn was still counting on him too.
He needed reconnaissance. If he wanted to help Finn, he had to know what he was working with.
It wasn't pretty. The outline Finn laid out for him was bleak, a life of grey walls and white masks and rules that were followed to the letter. Punishments that were prescribed like medicine if they weren't.
The way he talked bothered Poe the most, the vocabulary of it. Terminate, dispose, recondition. Like he was talking about a blaster, or a plan. Not people. Not himself. The tone of it as well. Finn might have been reciting a child's lessons. Poe was nearly sick with grief when he realized Finn was.
And Finn didn't even seem to see anything wrong with it. His forehead would furrow as he explained words to Poe that he clearly thought Poe should be familiar with already. This was Finn's world, Poe realized with a lurching horror, this collection of words that shouldn't be used to describe a sentient being. Millions of different cultures on thousands of different planets in the galaxy, and Finn's world was compressed down to a list of regulations and machine maintenance jargon.
"That's enough," he announced when he couldn't stand to hear anymore, "For now, anyway. We'll come back to it later." They would have to. Poe owed that to Finn. For now though…he glanced at BB-8. "Watch him for me?"
Poe waited until he was in his own quarters to reach for his comm.
Rey didn't pick up right away. She'd reached Ahch-To already, so it wasn't a surprise.
"What's wrong? Did something happen to Finn?"
To be fair, that was usually how she opened a conversation. It wasn't her fault that the words hit like a blow to the stomach on top of everything he'd just learned. Poe inhaled sharply.
"He'll- nothing happened. He'll be fine." He would be fine. Poe would help him with that.
Rey looked up, frowning.
"You were crying," she said bluntly, baffled and a little alarmed, "What happened? Is he alright?"
And this was not the idea he'd wanted to put in her head. He couldn't even do this right. Poe rubbed at his face with his free hand.
"He's fine. There hasn't been a-"
"What happened to you?"
Poe blinked. When he wasn't forthcoming, Rey pointed to her own face.
"…Trouble on a supply run. Look, that's not the problem- did you know what the First Order did to him? That he doesn't know…anything?"
Well, that wasn't the right way to phrase it. Poe opened his mouth to correct it, but Rey's face smoothed out.
"Like how the world works?" If anything, she was more baffled. "Are you saying you didn't?"
"No, I thought…" he trailed off and sighed, "I wasn't thinking."
"You said you'd take care of him. You gave your word!" Rey said fiercely.
"I know I did! But he needs someone better than me!" He needs you, Poe couldn't bring himself to say, he needs someone who wasn't weak enough that Kylo Ren could break them open with a few movements.
"He wants you!" Poe looked up. Rey had gone angry and dark, but when he looked closely he could see she was scared too. "He likes you! Don't you dare leave now!"
"
"It'll be alright," he told her, "We'll take care of him."
Rey looked him up and down, assessing.
"Yes," she said at last, "We will."
Someone called her on her end, and she had to disconnect. Poe leaned against the wall and breathed out, but the weight that had been curling in his chest felt a little bit lighter already, somehow. Maybe Poe couldn't do this by himself, but Finn didn't just have him alone. Rey was there too.
Finn looked up at him when he entered the medbay again, and he smiled so beautifully that Poe's heart broke all over again. He almost tripped over the blankets in his arms.
"I'll be good from now on," Finn promised.
"I know," Poe returned, "We're gonna make sure of that."
And they would. Poe wasn't flying in blind and without reinforcements. Finn would be able to count on him.
/
So they had the sleepover. Finn asked his questions about the Resistance like he was studying for the pilot's exam at first, but he gradually settled into it, leaning over the edge of the cot while Poe lay on the floor beside it, the corners of his grin just showing over the side whenever Poe told a particularly silly anecdote. He started to volunteer some of his own after a bit. That made it more real than Finn's recitation of facts in a way, stories of mixing up bunkmates armor pieces and marching with one shoe too small, trading favors and duties for preferable shifts and as chits in bets over which console Kylo
"I think it was harder for Rey," Finn admitted long into the night, when Poe was winding down a story that ended with General Organa assigning him and Snaps latrine duty for a solid week, "She never had any sleepovers."
Poe huffed tiredly, one hand propped behind him as a pillow. BB-8 was a steady weight against the bend of his knee.
"Neither did you."
Finn's hand drifted over the side of the cot, brushing tentatively against Poe's knuckles. Lips tugging into a smile, Poe curled their fingers together.
"I have now." He yawned. "She was alone for so long. More alone than me. We have to look after her, when she comes back."
Poe hadn't thought about it like that, but he couldn't be surprised that Finn had. These two, fumbling their way through it and so dedicated to protecting each other they couldn't even see they might need the same help.
"Ok. We can do that." He thought about it for a minute. "We might have to be a little subtle about it."
Finn sighed, like a lothcat that had finally settled down. "Think she'd like having a sleepover."
Another few breaths, and his grip on Poe's fingers relaxed in sleep.
Poe had a few minutes to think about that, the breadth and scope of everything he'd have to show them, before he joined him. In all, it was a terribly large amount of work, but he couldn't see himself begrudging it.
/
General Organa called Poe to her office the next day.
"I won't ask you to spill any confidences," she told him, "But I want to make sure that boy is going to be alright."
Poe thought back to the feel of Finn's fingers in his, his grin peeking over the rail of the medbay cot.
"He will be."
She nodded once. When Poe was little, all the children cared to play was [Return of the Jedi], squabbling over who got to be the Jedi, Vader, the daredevil pilot. Poe had only ever wanted to be Princess Leia, keeping the resistance together with wit and sheer gumption. It had taken all of them to bring down the Empire, but Leia Organa hadn't been waiting for Skywalker to show up.
"Good." Her comm link pinged. General Organa glanced at it, then dismissed the message. "I don't suppose I have to tell you some of the rumors that have been circulating."
Poe grimaced. In the whole of this long, awful fight, there hadn't been a single defector from the new Troopers. Then the leader of Black Squadron gets captured with vital intelligence and a trooper decides to jump starship.
Poe knew that Finn wasn't anything besides what he'd said. He also knew it didn't look good.
"When he's up to moving, I'm going to assign him as my aide."
Poe blinked.
"The work he's been doing on the datapads for the medics has shown he's good with filing and desk work. Force knows we need more filers around here." She leveled a look at Poe.
Poe grinned and tried to act like someone who wasn't weeks behind filling out their last requisition forms. He did better on oral reports anyway.
"An aide, huh?"
That…had never been a job Poe had wanted in particular, too far away from the action, too close to the ground, but it had prestige.
"I'm not sure that the council will like that."
"And that's why you're not on the council yet." She cut off his protest. "I'll be monitoring his work. At the same time, I'll be able to vouch for him. No one gets to complain, not even you."
And this was worth all the teasing he'd had to endure for insisting he was the princess in all those years of games.
"This is why you're in charge."
She smirked.
"I'm glad you finally realized that."
Poe saluted.
"Oh no, General. I've known that all along."
Aide work might have been deskwork, but Finn settled about his new duties like they were a warzone. Jessika helped Poe keep an eye on him, and soon Kaydel Ko Connix was in on it as well, showing Finn how to order the inventories and work under General Organa's exacting standards.
"We need some more folk around here who aren't flyboys, anyway," she said, bumping shoulders with them in the dining area.
Finn nudged his food around his plate, pleased and embarrassed in equal parts.
"Did you know that breaks are mandatory here?" He told Poe in an undertone, so shocked that he might have just found out he could fly. "The general said she expects me to take at least two a day."
"She knows how hard you're working then. Good."
"Usually she has to tell people the opposite," Snaps said, sitting down next to them, "She's going to like you."
Finn grinned helplessly at his tray. Poe grinned helplessly at Finn and put his elbow squarely in his mashed q'iso roots. Pava, on the other side of him, coughed lightly.
"Smooth," she said, lifting her cup to her mouth.
He kicked her under the table. Snaps, distinctly unhappy, passed her a handful of credits.
Poe got treated to three more one-sided discussions about prioritizing paperwork than he cared to hear, so he commed Rey and made her listen too.
/
"I got him to agree to come back."
It was night, the curtains to their window drawn tight against the light of D'Qar's three moons. Poe was working on a piece of console while Rey told Finn about her latest mishap with the Lanai caretakers.
There was a pause. Poe looked up.
Finn had fallen asleep, one hand curled around the comm. The rest of his body took up exactly his side of the bed, a testament to the bunks he'd told Poe about.
Console piece in hand, he swung up from his workbench, crouching by the bed.
"I think he's out. That's good news though."
From the sound of things, it hadn't been easy. Today marked the third shouting match that the general had had with her brother over his comm. Rey looked exhausted.
"That's your bed?" she said sharply as he picked up the comm. Finn's hand curled around the empty space, but then his face smoothed again, still sleeping all the while. "What's Finn doing in it?"
Poe waved the console in his free hand.
"I'm going to be up all night on this. Besides, there's a supply run before dawn. I'll sleep in the afternoon."
Rey looked unaccountably relieved at this. Poe decided it was in his best interests to not mention that Finn had been sleeping over every night since he'd been cleared to leave the medbay.
"How long will it take?" he asked to take her mind off the idea.
Her lips moved as she made the calculations. "Maybe a week now that we know where. Maybe two." She nodded at Finn. "You'll tell him that I'm coming?"
"I could," Poe conceded, eyeing Finn's sleeping form, "Or…"
Even through the comm holo, Rey could come across as terrifying when she was suspicious.
"Or what?"
Poe smirked.
"Or we could surprise him."
Slowly, Rey grinned.
/
It wasn't long after that Rey came back, dragging a reluctant Jedi Knight in tow.
Poe had known it would be a surprise, but he hadn't known the exact day. Luckily, he was taking a break with Finn when the message came through.
"General, the Millennium Falcon is requesting permission to land," Connix read off the comm pad, and Finn's head snapped up.
"What?" He looked at Connix, then at Poe. Unbidden, Poe felt himself grin wide enough to burst.
They made it to the hangar at a run. Finn leaned against Poe as they came to a stop, because being cleared to walk didn't mean he should be pelting down the corridors. Medic Smina was going to yell at Poe about this, he was sure. The Millennium Falcon was just touching down, a crowd gathering as the door hissed open.
General Organa met them in the hanger, lips pressed thin as she and Skywalker sized each other up. Rey stood a bit to the side, hands on the staff behind her as she took in the crowd that had come to see the Force-wielders, both The Luke Skywalker and the one they'd heard rumors about, who'd picked up a lightsaber for the first time and beat Kylo Ren at his own game.
Her eyes snapped to Poe, standing just behind General Organa, ready to be her hand if she needed anything, and then to Finn.
A star wasn't as bright as her face as she lit up. She threw herself at Finn, coming this close to taking his feet out from under him. Finn did lift her off her feet, just for a moment.
"Missed you," Poe heard him murmur. Rey buried her face in his neck.
"Master Luke!" C-3PO bustled forward, shoving other droids out of his way as he went, "You may not recognize me due to the red arm, but it is I, C-3PO!"
The general snorted, shaking her head slightly, and stepped forward.
Just when Poe was starting to think that Rey and Finn would stay there forever, she stepped back. Poe had forgotten how thin she was. She turned to size him up. Now that she wasn't shoving him into walls, Poe was free to notice that she looked nervous.
"Thanks for looking after him," she said.
"I wouldn't have had it any other way."
Rey glanced over at Finn, who was beaming at the pair of them. Her expression softened into fondness.
"Yeah."
/
Finn insisted on giving Rey the tour. Poe glanced at the general, who was listening to her brother speak with crossed arms and a thoughtful frown, and went with them.
Before leaving, Rey had spent nearly all her time in the med bay. She took in the bustling people, Finn's desk, and the hangar with the same wide eyes. In the mess, her eyes went to the food, but she didn't leave Finn's side.
Poe snagged a piece of fruit and handed it to her when they were in the hall.
"Finn's not going to let up for a while," he said when her eyes cut to him, "Best to keep your energy up."
Finn stuck his tongue out at him. Rey eyed him, then the fruit in her hands. Poe settled back to watch the two of them.
A droid hunted them down eventually, with a message for Finn. Now that Luke Skywalker was back, encrypted messages would have to be sent out.
"I'll see you tonight," he told them, grinning at Rey. He hadn't let go of her hand the whole time they'd been walking.
Something dark flashed over Rey's face. Her shoulders tightened. Poe watched as she smoothed her expression again.
"Alright."
And then it was just the two of them, BB-8 whirling around their feet.
Poe tried to smile. The last few transmissions had gone alright. He'd hoped they could continue things like that now that Rey was back and Finn was awake.
Except she was looking him up and down with that closed-off expression again, eyes unnaturally intense, and all Poe could think about was how similar it was to the wild glares she'd given him before she left.
"Can we go to your quarters?" she asked in a low voice, still staring at him.
That made sense. The trip had been long, and she still hadn't been assigned quarters in the base yet. Poe kept up a steady tour of the places on their way towards his room, but Rey didn't seem interested in tours anymore.
The door whooshed open as they arrived and Poe had to fight a grin at the pristinely made bed, the stack of datapads, his newly repaired jacket hung up across the chair. Hardly any time had passed since Finn had been released from the med bay, and there were already signs of him all over Poe's room. Rey picked her way over, taking in the space.
The door closed behind her and the next thing Poe knew she was shoving him against the wall again, and her mouth was over his.
Poe's brain shut down. He pushed her off.
"What was that?" he demanded.
Rey wouldn't look at him. She wiped her mouth on her arm and shucked off her shirt, and Poe's brain froze all over again. Underneath was an undershirt that tied closed at the side. Her hands went to that too.
"Don't play dumb," she ordered, fumbling with the knots, "This was the deal. Let's get it over with."
"What are you talking about? What deal?"
She glared down at the fabric in her hands.
"I told you I would pay for Finn's treatment," she said through gritted teeth, "You know I don't have any money; I told you-"
"I told you it was free!" he yelped.
Rey finally looked up at him, full of exasperation and disdain and hurt.
"It's free for the Resistance," she repeated, like he was stupid, like there was some reality where her stripping and Finn's treatment were related in a way that made sense, "I'm not in the Resistance. Finn's not in the Resistance. And he doesn't have money either. So you covered for him and I said I would-" her voice faltered. "That was the deal. How did you think I was going to pay? You agreed before I left."
"That's not what I agreed to!" he protested, horrified that she would think he would even consider something like that. His stomach rolled. "Does Finn kno-"
"You don't touch him!" Rey snarled, eyes wild and wet, shoulders curled up, "No one touches him! We had a deal; it was you and me and no one else. If you touch him I'll kill you!"
"I would never hurt Finn!"
"Good," she said, and went back to tugging at the knot on her undershirt. It wouldn't come undone. Her hands were shaking. Abruptly, Poe realized she was terrified. "Let's get it over with before he comes back."
For too long, Poe stood there, frozen. Too many things were slotting into place; Rey insisting on paying for the treatment, Rey making BB-8 swear to guard Finn while she used the 'fresher. Rey shocked and upset to see Finn asleep on Poe's bed, going out of her way to keep Poe up and occupied so he couldn't join him. All the terrible, wary looks she'd been giving him. Of course she hadn't trusted him, thinking he had agreed to something like that.
Poe hadn't known anything about the First Order until Finn had regurgitated his life out like a training manual. In the intervening time, maybe he should have done some research on Jakku.
She'd managed to untie the last knot now, but she was holding the threads tight in her hands, and seeing that made Poe move, before she did something he wouldn't be able to forgive himself for.
Rey went stiff as he approached, but Poe could see her locking her body in place, forcing herself not to flinch away. He took the cords out of her hand and retied them. While she stared he picked up her shirt and slipped it over her head again. For good measure, he pulled Finn's jacket over and covered her up with that too.
Rey looked even smaller under the leather jacket. She pulled the edges close, curling into the jacket. She didn't look like the new Jedi. She looked like a scared kid who'd been bluffing her way through a battle and a rescue and another battle. Poe was only just realizing that she could be both.
"I don't understand."
"That's alright," he said, ushering her into the chair. The bed was more comfortable, but no way was he steering her towards that in these circumstances. "It sounds like we had a few miscommunications. We're gonna talk it out."
He sat on the bed, because there was only the one chair, and he hoped it would do good for her to be on standing higher than him. He still felt sick. He didn't want to think about how the last month had felt for her, expecting this.
"So who talks first?" he asked.
Rey pulled her feet onto the chair so her knees were folded against her chest.
"I thought we had a deal."
"Yeah, you and me had some different ideas about that. So here's what's gonna happen; need you to listen to me before you say anything. Ok?" Rey watched him. "Ok. The med bay is free to the Resistance. But you and Finn helped us take out Starkiller. We could never have done it without you. You don't think we would refuse to treat Finn after that, do you? It wouldn't be fair."
"Nothing's fair," Rey muttered into her knees. She wiped her face with her sleeve. "And everything has a 'd you agree, if it wasn't like that?"
"I agreed to what you were saying because I thought you were going to punch me if I didn't." Poe told her, "I had no idea what you meant. I thought we'd be able to sort it out by the time you got back." Clearly that had been optimistic.
Rey was silent. She wouldn't look at him. Now that they'd cleared up that, she looked embarrassed.
"Don't tell Finn," she said quietly.
"No one has to know," he agreed, "But you know, if they did, you would be the one they were mad at." Her eyes slid to him reluctantly. "I should have figured it out. I knew you weren't from around here. I should have been paying closer attention. I'm sorry I made you worry like that." You must have been scared, he knew better than to say, because even now Rey didn't like looking so vulnerable. But he could imagine her lying in bed at night, trying not to think about it. He had a feeling he was about to be in that position soon.
"You must think…" she started, but he cut her off.
"I think you're very brave. And very kind, to do that for Finn." She opened her mouth to argue- something, but Poe wasn't done. "Don't tell me you think a lot of people would do what you thought you were doing."
"He doesn't know how things are," she muttered, "You realized too, eventually."
Neither did she.
Poe ran his hands together.
"So here's what I think. I don't know a lot about Jakku, but I've been thinking a lot about what you said. Everything has a price, right? I gave you a really bad scare for the last month. I think we can count that as me owing you, not the other way around."
"But you still helped Finn."
"I was going to help Finn no matter what," Poe told her, "He's my friend too. No one pays a price for that."
Rey looked at him for a long time.
"He's lucky," she said thickly, "To have a friend like you. I knew you were nice, but I didn't know you were kind."
Poe had a very bad feeling that Rey hadn't had many friends of any sort for a long time. He also didn't think she knew many good people, if she'd thought he was going to rape her and still counted him as any kind of good. It made him want to cry, that these two kids who'd given everything for each other had been hurt so much that they just assumed that was how the world worked. He had to clear his throat several times before he could speak again.
"Yeah, between the two of us he's a pretty lucky guy." With difficulty, he grinned at her. "What do you say we go hunt him down and make him have dinner with us? He'll forget on his own." Rey made a face, clearly disbelieving that anyone could forget something like food.
"Just one more thing?" he said as she made to stand. "The next time you have a question about something. You can ask me."
Rey paused. She gave him a shy smile, the one she used when they were talking late at night about starships. The one she gave Finn.
"I guess I can." She reached for the door. "Can I see your ship while we wait for him?"
"Whatever you want."
fin
A/N: Let me know what you think! Also feel free to visit me on tumblr at shitlinguistssay