Author's Note: Hello, hello, hello! Oh my God, two updates in one week? This is a first for me! First off, thanks so much again for all the awesome feedback! I really do appreciate, although I do apologise, this chapter sticks quite rigidly to the events of the show … well particularly to the events of S01x2 – that's right, we're in to season 2! But of course, I have to apologise once more if the dialogue again seems just like a bad case of déjà vu, sadly it must be done to integrate Merricat properly into the story, but don't worry, more original stuff is coming! So enjoy!

Also, this chapter is dedicated to devil dog 35, first of all because she's always been awesome, and also because she left a lovely review!

Six

One Week Later

Although there many things that Merricat could complain about the RV, such as the cramped conditions, Dale's off tune singing and the proximity of Shane, there was one, sole factor, that redeemed all the negatives:

Air conditioning.

Merricat titled her head against the window, Sophie sat half asleep in her lap, having been struck with another seizure three days before, she was still recovering. Merricat herself sat in silence as Shane taught Andrea how to clean her gun, the man was still oblivious to Merricat's uneasiness around him, partly by her own doing – she had been making a conscious effort to rid herself of her amnesty towards the man – what was the point? The group's survival depended on everyone working together, she'd be only making things difficult if she kept desperately avoiding him, Shane wasn't going anywhere. And besides, no altercation like it had occurred since the CDC, the more time past, the more it appeared to have just been a one-off argument. Though her gut told her otherwise, Merricat knew she had to let bygones be bygones, and work towards rebuilding a relationship with Shane. Like it or not, he was her people, and like she would for Rick, Lori, Carol and all the others, she would lay down her life to protect him.

There convoy had been moving smoothly enough, more vehicles had been abandoned. Daryl as always took point on his bike, the RV following, and Rick and others closely behind.

"Ah geez", Merricat's ears perked up as she heard Dale sigh in frustration, she glanced towards Shane and Andrea, before quickly moving Sophie from her knee, and she quickly walked up to the top of the RV. "Oh no", Dale groaned, and Merricat looked to see what had caused the, to stop. A heavy truck lay flat on its side, acting as one long road block. "Shit", she snapped.

Seeing that they had stopped, Daryl immediately circled back, pulling up to Dale's window, "You see a way through?" the old man asked him anxiously, and Daryl merely responded with a nod of his head, beckoning to follow him through the narrow maze of abandoned cars.

Glenn suggested that perhaps turning back was the best option, but as Dale reminded him grimly, no fuel could be spared for such an effort.

They all drove slowly, much to Merricat's dismay – she was thankful that Sophie was asleep. Hundreds of cars ransacked and abandoned, with no sign of life insight. It was a ghoulish and sickening sight as Merricat felt a drop in her stomach. How many people, families, had been trying to escape in these cars, and where did they go?

Her question was answered, gazing inside the windows of the abandoned cars, it turns out that many hadn't been abandoned at all – corpses still sat in the seats that they died in. Merricat made a sign of the cross as they past them. The highway was an open casket.

There was a sudden and rapid sound of gears crunching together as a column of hissing steam shot up out of the engine, and all at once the RV died. Glenn looked up to Merricat, who in turn was staring at Dale, "You have got to be kidding me", she groaned.

Dale went to leave the van, swinging the door open. Merricat immediately went to fetch Sophie, waking her gently, "Was' s'wrong?" she yawned, her eyes barely opening.

"Come on baby, we've stopped for a bit, come on outside", and she hauled the little girl into her arms, bringing her out into the fresh air.

"I said it, didn't I say it?" Dale complained, as the group began to circle around the front of the RV, "a thousand times, dead in the water".

"Problem Dale?" Shane snapped, clearly not impressed by his cynicism.

"Well there's just the small matter of being stuck in the middle of nowhere", he replied irritably. "With no hope of …" he began to trail off as he watched Daryl begin to pilfer the open trunk of one of the empty cars. "Okay that was dumb", he admitted.

"Can't find a radiator hose here", Shane commented.

"Whole bunch 'a stuff we can find", Daryl retaliated.

"Syphon more fuel from these cars for a start", T-Dog agreed.

"– Maybe some water?"

"– food?"

"This is a graveyard", Lori finally interjected, and all eyes turned to her, "I don't know how I feel about this".

Merricat gave her a sympathetic look, but, was reminded of their situation by the child cradled on her hip, "Lori", she began softly, "I get it, this place, what must of happened here … we should respect the dead but, given the circumstances, we haven't got alotta options".

Everyone else seemed to be in agreement with her, and Shane nodded, "Come on y'all, look around, gather whatcha can".

The group began to disperse and split off, Glenn and Dale stayed to attempt to do what they could with the engine, while the rest would salvage what supplies they could find. Merricat stayed close to Lori and Carol with the other children – she was in a much better mindset ever since her conversation with Daryl a week ago. He had driven her back to camp, helped patch up her bleeding feet, and to save her dignity, had agreed to only confide in Rick what had happened. Since then, she slept better, was more at ease, and though still plagued by panic attacks, she found herself much more able to handle them. Even her limp had left her, and though she kept it for sentimental reasons, she no longer needed the cane that Dale had made for her. Because of these improvements, Merricat found herself once more another integral part of the group, now that she was back to fighting form. And it had been an unspoken arrangement that the women, Lori, Carol and Andrea, would always be accompanied by one of the fighters.

They walked past one of the cars that contained a corpse, killed upon impact. Lori gazed at it sadly before moving on. Even Carol found herself unable to look away, "Kids don't look", she warned them.

They began the solemn task of rummaging through the cars, Sophie was finally fully awake, and sat on the ground close to Merricat as she helped looked through the discarded belongings. Merricat watched as Carol sheepishly began to admire a red top as she placed it against her chest.

"Looks good", she told her, and Carol blushed, "Ed never would let me wear nice things like this", she said.

"My daddy was the same", Merricat tried to laugh, "S'pecially with red. The devil's colour, he use ta call it".

Carol gave her a solemn nod, it was like an expression of solidarity. But it was clear that it made Merricat uncomfortable.

"We'll need clothes", Carol aimed her abrupt statement at Lori, who had been watching the pair. She remained silent and moved on to the next car.

Sophie and Carl began to venture further down, something both mother's immediately picked up on, "Carl", Lori called to him, "Always within my sight, okay?"

"You too Sophia", Carol added, and Merricat felt the need to glance down at Sophie, who looked as though she had fallen back asleep, she smiled sadly, as least she wouldn't be begging to wander off as well.

Merricat pulled Sophie back into her arms, her head flopping loosely onto her shoulder.

"Poor dear", Carol sighed, "Still hasn't gotten over the last one, huh?"

"Naw", Merricat muttered, "last one was rough, but, she'll be right as rain in a few days, she just needs a few more rest, she'll be fine once she sleep's off the worst of it".

"I'm not worried", Carol smiled, "She's a fighter, that sister of yours".

Merricat chuckled lightly, but her laugh faded from her lips as she saw Rick charging towards them, "Lori, under the cars!" he commanded, keeping his voice as low as he could, "Get down now!"

Merricat quickly glanced to Lori and Carol, who both frantically looked around for their children. Carl and Sophia came into view, and they quickly ducked under the nearest cars they could find. Merricat held Sophie tightly into her chest, keeping her shielded from what she knew was surely coming.

They came shuffling as they always did. A hoard of walkers. Merricat kept her lips tightly clamped together as she could see the first of their feet begin to walk slowly past her. It was situations like these that she was best accustomed to, it was like being hunted, the trick was to remain calm, that, and silence. Control your breathing, remain absolutely still. Don't react. She silently thanked God for Sophie being asleep.

Keep still. A real hunter can slow the beating of their own heart if their skilled enough. Because as every real hunter knows, it's all too easy to become the prey. Is that what you are girl? The prey? I said stay still. Control your breathing. Control your mind. You must not react. A moving prey means a living prey, and that means fresh meat. Is that what you are? Meat for men to sink their teeth into and tear apart? No? Then keep fucking still.

Their ambling, their groaning, she could hear everything that past her. Why did they have to make such noises? She could see Lori and Carol underneath the car next to her, Lori was clutching Carol around her mouth, desperate to stifle her cries. For the love of God Carol, keep quiet. They were trapped in this one droplet of time, it wouldn't go forward. The walkers kept coming. Dear God, why did they have to move so slowly?

Finally, the walkers seemed to have moved on as silence fell. Merricat knew better than to move yet, there was always stragglers, slow ones, some with missing limbs, that always fell behind the rest of the hoard. Keep calm. Keep your breathing controlled. Keep fucking still.

Her eyes shot to the side of her as she heard movement that most definitely was not a walker. Beyond Lori and Carol she caught glimpses of Sophia beginning to edge herself slowly beneath the car. Don't, please dear God don't. But she did, she began to inch herself outwards, and Merricat felt her heart implode.

A straggler walker saw Sophia, and flopped onto its stomach, she began to cry out as it reached in its arm to grab at her. Merricat couldn't contain her terror for the little girl. But God, what could she do as she watched helplessly with her own little girl wrapped inside her arms? She clutched Sophie tighter than ever as she heard Sophia's cries. She had to do something. But Rick beat her to it. He immediately ducked out from his own car and made a run after Sophia and the two walkers, as the three headed into the woods.

No one could wait any longer. Carol desperately clawed herself from Lori's hold and crawled onto her feet sobbing loudly. Lori and Carl swiftly followed, with Merricat at their heels. Carol was inconsolable as she began to walk desperately in the direction of the woods, and Merricat knew damn well what she was planning. "Lori take her!" she barked quickly as she handed her Sophie. She ran forward and clutched Carol tightly by the shoulders. "You can't, you'll get yourself killed", she told her sternly.

"I, I have to, my baby … my baby needs me", she wept bitterly. Merricat forcibly turned Carol to face her and cupped her face tightly with her hands. "Carol, Carol look at me", she commanded, "Look at me okay? You can't, but I can. I'm going in after her now". Carol continued to cry helplessly as Merricat released her.

"Need some help over here!" attention was momentarily diverted to Daryl, who had come into view, hauling T-Dog on his shoulder.

"Jesus Christ", Merricat gasped.

"Is he bit?" Shane thundered as he and Glenn emerged together.

"Naw, he cut his arm badly on some glass", Daryl brought them to speed as Shane helped T-Dog over to the RV, letting him rest up against it. Merricat knelt down quickly, "Dale!" she shouted, "Medibag now!". She shook T-Dog lightly, "T, T can you hear me, keep this arm upright, okay?"

She heard Dale cry out Andrea's name, and Merricat's heart leapt, please no more.

"Is she?" Lori wavered.

"She's okay", Dale replied wearily as he emerged from the RV and handed Merricat the bag. She used bandages to tourniquet the wound, and then turned back to Dale, "Sit beside him, use the cloth to press firmly on it to compress the flow of blood. Once it's slowed, clean it and bandage him up". Merricat rose to her feet, and turned to Daryl, "Sophia got chased into the woods by two walkers, we need to go after her". There was no need to tell him twice, as he immediately grabbed his bow from the ground. Merricat retrieved her rifle, "Shane", she said, "You stay here with everyone, make sure that T doesn't fall asleep, keep everyone together, keep watch in case Rick or Sophia manage to get back first".

The pair took off sprinting into the woods, Merricat with her rifle slung over her shoulder and sword at her hips. She hadn't said goodbye to Sophie or told her how much she loved her. She prayed, pleaded with God, don't let that be the last time that she would see her sister again.

It was Rick's trail that they picked up, although his was quickly found to be intertwined with Sophia's, which gave the two trackers hope – maybe he had gotten to her already. It brought them deeper into the woods.

They finally found Rick, leaning over a walker that he had just put down, with a large, bloodied rock in his hand. "Rick!" Merricat cried as she ran forward, he looked up wearily to see the pair. "Where's Sophia?" she asked desperately.

"I had to lead the walkers away, I got her to hide", he answered, almost in a daze.

"Where?" Daryl demanded.

Shane and Glenn had joined them after securing the camp, figuring to disregard Merricat's advice and go after them anyway. Rick brought them all down to a stream's edge, and Merricat's heart dropped as they discovered Sophia's hiding place beneath an uprooted tree to be empty. The three stood with murky brown water up to their knees as they looked over the immediate area. Daryl peered around it, his eyes scanning and darting quickly like a hawk's. "You sure this' the spot?" he asked with uncertainty.

"I left her right here", Rick confirmed with confidence, "I drew the walkers way off in that direction up the creek".

"Without a paddle, since where we've landed", Daryl commented. Merricat took her own time to analyse the departed hiding spot, entangled amongst one of the veins, she found a short blonde hair. Merricat plucked It out carefully, holding it up against the light, "she was here that's for sure", she spoke, and showed the hair to Daryl.

"She was gone by the time I got back here", Rick informed them, "A figured she took off and ran back to the group, a told her, go that way and keep the sun on her left shoulder".

"Hey short round, step off to one side you're mucking up the trail", Daryl called to Glenn, Merricat couldn't disagree, she had caught what Daryl was looking at, slight indentations in the earth leading out of the creek, and Glenn was standing in the way, like contaminating a crime scene.

"Assumin' she knows her left from her right", Shane added, and if Merricat wasn't mistaken, he seemed to be suggesting that Rick had made the wrong call in leaving her.

"She understood it fine", Rick growled.

"She could be tired and scared man, she had her close call – two walkers. Have to wonder how much of whatcha said stuck".

Merricat sniffed, but ignored him, crouching down closer to get a better look, "You see that?" she murmured to Daryl.

"Yeah", he replied and looked up to Rick, "There's clear prints right here, she did what you said, headed back to the highway. We gotta spread out". Glenn helped the trio out of the creek, both Daryl and Merricat took point, with the others following behind.

Merricat glanced over her shoulder, reading Rick's expression perfectly. "We're gonna find her, a'right? Don't worry", she told him.

They continued through the trees, following her trail. She was headed right in the direction of camp, until both Merricat and Daryl could both see a violent switch in her markings – she had veered of course.

"She was doin jus' fine until right here", Daryl informed the others as he crouched down.

"But she didn't keep going", Merricat continued, "She veered off in that direction".

"Why would she do that?" Glenn asked.

"Maybe she saw somethin? Spooked her, made her run off" Shane suggested.

"A walker?" Glenn quivered.

"Naw, don't see any other foot prints", Daryl muttered.

"What'd you reckon Rick? Want us to flesh this place out?" Shane asked.

"No", Rick began, "Its better if you and Glenn get back to the highway, before everyone starts panicking. Let them know that we're on her trail and doing everything we can but most of all keep everybody calm".

"A can keep em busy scavenging cars", Shane agreed, and Merricat couldn't help but glare, isn't that what she had essentially told him before she and Daryl had left? "Think up a few other chores, keep em occupied".

"Glenn", Merricat called as they began to take off, he turned to face the girl, "Look after Sophie for me, okay?"

He nodded and smiled, before following off after Shane.

Once more, Daryl and Merricat picked up the trail, their eyes rooted to the ground. They kept pressing on, until Rick glanced around in frustration, "The tracks are gone".

"They're faint", Daryl corrected him, "But they ain't gone".

"She came through here", Merricat pointed out, and Daryl nodded in agreement.

"How can you both tell?" Rick asked, "I don't see anything, just dirt and grass".

"Wanna lesson in tracking or you wanna find that girl and get our ass off that interstate", Daryl answered breezily, it was a tad cruel bit Merricat found herself stifling a smirk.

They kept going for miles, but Merricat barely noticed the time go by, only one thought kept echoing against the walls of her skull: find Sophia. For the first time, she knew the value of her use to Rick and the others, like Daryl, she was in her element.

There was a sudden rumble coming from amongst a thick foliage of bushes, and immediately all three of them crouched to the ground with their weapons raised. Slowly, they made their approach, below in the trees they found one walker aimlessly shuffling on his feet. Daryl gave her a signal and she ran ahead, directly into the walker's line of vision. Its paling eyes fixed on her as Merricat gave a loud whistle. It hissed and groaned but was immediately silenced by the arrow that had lodged in between the eyes. Daryl had come up from behind and shot it, and once it fell, both he, Rick and Merricat approached the corpse.

Daryl retrieved his arrow, And Rick pulled out a pair of gloves stuffed inside his back pocket, Merricat crouched low, she knew what he was thinking, the stomach of the walker was extremely bloated – which meant only one thing, it had recently fed.

"What are you looking for?" she asked him.

"Skin under the finger nails", he muttered, he then opened the walker's mouth, delving inside. "There's flesh caught in its teeth", he informed them, and Merricat's heart began to beat rapidly against her chest. He managed to prize it out, holding it up for the others to inspect, "But what kinda flesh?" Daryl asked.

Merricat gulped, and glanced again at the walker's bulbous stomach, "Only one sure way ta find out", she told them, and gazed up at the two men. Rick nodded, and removed his knife from his belt, preparing to cut open the walker.

Daryl placed an arm on Rick's shoulder, "Here, I'll do it", he volunteered, retrieving his own, much larger bowie knife. "How many kills you skinned and gutted in your life anyway? And mine's sharper"

From the moment Daryl began to cut into the walker's flesh, the most purifying smell poured out from it's organs. "Oh good Lord", Merricat choked, covering her nose and mouth, it was utterly rancid.

"Here comes the bad part", Daryl warned them, as he violently pulled open the corpse's ribcage, and began rummaging around in search of the stomach. He began to pull out whatever organs got in his way, the gallbladder, the liver, each blackened with decay and nearly liquified. The sight alone was enough to make you sick, but the smell, dear God the smell. Merricat had to fight against the violent contractions in her throat.

"Yeah", Daryl muttered finally, "He's had a big meal not that long ago, a feel it in there", he finally managed to pull out the engorged stomach, laying it carefully on the ground. "Is a'right, I got this", Rick said, and at once cut into the stomach's lining, and with his knife sorted through it's half-digested contents. Although it was Daryl who found the defining feature that both made Merricat want to empty the contents of her stomach and raised her hopes. He raised the skull high, and judging from its teeth, it was clear it was not human.

"This gross bastard's had himself a woodchuck for lunch", Daryl confirmed, and Merricat let out a sigh of relief, "Thank God".

"At least we know", Rick agreed, "At least we know". They all rose to their feet, and Rick stepped a bit closer to Merricat, "Uh-uh", she groaned, shielding her nose once more, "A love you both like family, but for the sake of my sense of smell y'all can stay at a distance with that gunk on both your arms".

Daryl and Rick shared a look and gazed down at the black slime that decorated their forearms. They couldn't deny it, she had a point.

They continued on as long as they could, but it seemed as though time as against them as the sun began to fall lower into the sky. It was Rick who turned to them first, "It's gonna be dark real soon", he spoke calmly, but Merricat immediately turned, "We have to keep going", she warned him firmly, and continued to climb up the hill, but her heart sank when she saw that Daryl had stopped as well.

She gave both the men a pleading look, "We have to keep going, we have to find her".

"An we will", Daryl assured her before Rick had the chance, "But you know as well as me that we won't be able to see shit in the dark".

"And neither will Sophia, we can't, we can't leave her here tonight", Merricat protested.

Rick looked at her sympathetically, "We aren't giving up, we can pick up the trail at first light".

"But she's just a little girl", Merricat felt herself grow impatient with the two men, "You both know walkers are more active at night, we can't, we can't just leave her out here".

"Merr, she's a smart girl, she'll hold up somewhere for the night, we'll achieve nothin, wandering around in the dark, you know that", Rick tried to reason. Merricat did know that. She knew that Sophia's tracks would be impossible to see … but every fibre in her being cried out for that little girl – it was almost instinctual, this inherent need to find that girl, protect her, keep her safe … not give up on her. Merricat bowed her head in defeat, she couldn't force the two men to carry on searching with her, and she knew that it would be suicide to stay out there on her own … and what good would she be to Sophia dead? "Okay, okay", she conceited, and the three made their way back in the direction of camp.

To Merricat's dismay, it was Carol who was waiting at the edge of the road to meet them. She hung behind Daryl and Rick, her body feeling as though it was suddenly made of lead … she couldn't bear to meet her eyes.

"You, you didn't find her?" her voice was faint, barely a whisper, and Merricat felt her heart wrench at the sound.

"Her trail went cold", he told her, "We'll pick it up again at first light". This was clearly no comfort to the woman … who seemed, in that instant, to come apart at the seams. "You can't leave my daughter out there on her own, to spend the night alone in the woods".

Rick glanced anxiously at Merricat, he could hear the echoes between the two women's protests, and his heart grew heavy, "Out in the dark, we …" Merricat couldn't finish, she couldn't convince herself that it was true, all she desperately wanted to do was to go back out there, and not stop until she brought Sophia home.

"Out in the dark's no good", Daryl continued solemnly, "We'd jus' be trippin over ourselves, we'd be gettin' lost".

"But she's twelve – she can't be out there on her own", Carol cried, becoming more and more undone.

"I know this is hard but am' asking you not to panic, we know she was out there", Rick tried to calm her.

"And we tracked her for a while", Daryl added quickly.

"We have to make this an organised effort - Daryl knows the woods better than anybody, and Merricat, well she's been huntin since before she could walk, I've asked them both to oversee this", Rick sounded. Which wasn't exactly true, he hadn't asked them, but then again, it wasn't as if either of them would refuse.

Carol's breathing began to quicken as she gave Daryl a once over, "Is, is that blood?" she stammered.

Merricat froze, they had agreed not to tell them about the walker they had killed, to help everyone remain calm, now, judging by the look on Rick's face, he thought it best to tell the truth. "We took down a walker", he admitted, and as expected, it nearly sent Carol into a panic.

"Oh dear, Oh God", she moaned.

"There was so sign that it was anywhere near Sophia", Rick tried to assure her.

"How can you know that?" Andrea insisted, clearly sceptical.

"We cut the som'bitch open, made sure", Daryl answered her.

Merricat surely thought that such a confession would be the worst revelation uttered amongst them, what came next proved her flatly wrong. Carol addressed Rick with a hateful glare, "How, how could you just leave her out there to begin with, how could you just leave her?"

Merricat understood that Carol was a mother in turmoil, but she thought she had gone too far, and swiftly came to Rick's defence. "He didn't have a choice Carol", she spoke up as she finally recovered her voice, Rick glanced up at her, thankful for her support, "Those two walkers were on them, he had to draw them away to give Sophia her best chance, it's what any of us would have done".

"How's she supposed to find her way back on her own? She's just a child", Carol whispered.

Rick fell to his knees, buckling over with the guilt, "It, it was my only option, the only choice I could make".

"An none of us doubt that", Shane spoke as well in Rick's defence.

"My little girl got left in the woods", she choked in anguish, and Merricat flocked to her side, "Carol, I know this is hard … believe me I know, but you have to keep strong okay? Gotta keep strong for Sophia". But nothing could stop the surge of pain that struck Carol at that point, her lip began to tremble frantically, as she, Lori and Andrea remained at her side, trying to support her as best they could.

Once the sun had finally set, Lori and Andrea made their first attempt at moving Carol inside. She spent the first few hours of the evening crying bitterly inside the RV, where she would be sleeping alone that night. She had quietened down a little, but every once in a while, a stifled cry could be heard, and everyone would be reminded of the great sense of loss and dread that hung in the air. Carl had been almost inconsolable, as had Sophie – she couldn't understand what had happened, and Merricat was terrified, terrified that the stress and confusion would send her into another fit – and that would be the last thing that anyone needed. Sophie refused to leave her sister's arms, petrified of being lost too, and so Merricat found herself rooted beside the fire for the better have of the evening. Her back ached and she was stiff all over, but she dared not move, as Sophie had finally calmed down enough to slip back into a sleep. And so she held her as she was, until Shane came and sat beside her.

"She a'right?" he asked, gesturing to the sleeping girl.

Merricat looked at him, uncertainty flashing in her eyes, "I think so", she admitted, and looked down at her sister again, "I hope so".

"Can't be easy all this", he pondered meaningfully, "S'pecially bein so young".

"Is it easy for any of us?" Merricat sighed, before adding with a small, sad smile, "And we're all old".

"True that", Shane agreed, "Listen, on the search tomorrow, Rick only wants me you, him and Daryl carrying", he informed her quietly.

"Carrying?" she repeated.

"Guns", he elaborated whilst scratching his neck.

"Why, did somethin happen?"

"Naw, no. Not really. When yah think about it, none of the rest of em has had any proper trainin, and the last thing we need is people firing off rounds every time they hear a branch break or some leaves rustle, know what am sayin?" he confided.

Merricat nodded her agreement, "Yeah, a' get it – flipping mother of god", she hissed suddenly, as she felt her back seize up in some Godawful fashion.

"You a'right there?" he asked, with an actual look of concern.

"I've been sittin in the same position for over two hours straight with a five-year-old in mah lap", she complained, "how'd yeah think a' am?"

Shane chuckled a little, "Want me to take her for a bit, let yah stretch your legs?"

Merricat was taken off-guard by the offer, and at first felt hesitant, did she really trust Shane to look after Sophie? No. Stop it. It was just a fight, he's your people … of course you can trust him. Merricat forced a smile, "You don't mind?"

"Naw, although, you'd be doin me a service if you could take the time to talk ta Rick", he asked her, and Merricat sighed, "He still sittin on his own?"

Shane nodded, "He's real torn up over what happened, won't talk ta Lori or Carl much, but a' have a feelin that he'll listen to what you have ta say". Merricat agreed, and Shane carefully bundled Sophie into his arms. It was heaven to be able to stand to full height, she raised her arms high above her head to stretch her aching limbs. "God that feels good", she sighed, "I'll go and find Rick now".

"I appreciate it", he said, "really a' do". Merricat smiled and walked off to find the Deputy Sheriff. It wasn't difficult, he had isolated himself to the edge of their campsite, standing rigid with rifle perched and ready.

"I doubt you can see much through that scope at this time of the night", she called quietly walking to his side. Rick barely turned over his shoulder, his eyes fixed on the pitch-black void before them. "Whatcha doin there Grimes?"

"Keepin watch", he answered gruffly, his throat dry and cracking, as though he had been crying.

"I'll relieve yah, you need to rest, get somethin to eat, it's been a long day", Merricat suggested.

"I'm fine thanks, am' more use here", he replied curtly, his gaze still refusing to meet her mismatched eyes.

She smiled sadly, "Rick … you did everything that you could for that little girl".

"Merr don't", he interrupted her hoarsely.

Merricat gazed at the man, his face was riddled with guilt, you could see it in his straining eyes, in his pursed lips … she could only imagine what was going through his mind, clearly, she had to employ a different strategy. She sighed, and then spoke softly, "You know, when a' was ten, a' tried to runaway from home", she glanced up for a moment, but the Sherriff's eyes were still fixed on the road. "Left with nothin but a crappy little pocket knife and a few biscuits I'd swiped from the breakfast table that morning. We was stayin up at Lake Charles at the time, in De Folie, huh, I hated that fuckin place", she paused for a moment as the memories flooded back, another glance at Rick, he had still yet to move. "Big old' plantation house, with the white columns, built at the edge o' nowhere, was a twenty-mile drive to the nearest town, and even then, a great big thicket of woods between us and anyone … mah daddy's favourite huntin grounds. An me, ha, a thought it was a helluva good idea to go on my own through the woods, a was out there five days before anybody found me", now she had finally gotten Rick's attention, "Merr, a see what you're tryn'a do, but it doesn't change the fact that Sophia is out there … and that's on me".

"Rick Grimes", she snapped finally, "Now you listen to me", she forced him to look at her, "This … is not on you. Okay? I said it once and I'll say it again, you did what any of us would have done Rick. I wouldn't have done differently, neither would Shane – Or Daryl".

"No", Rick wagged his head, "Daryl wouldn't have left without his bow, he would 'a took down those walkers before they would have come anywhere near Sophia – and you Merr, I've seen you with that sword, you an' I both know you would 'a stood your ground, taken them both down and protected Sophia, you would have done differently, you would have done better". Merricat felt her heart soften as he turned away from her, desperate to keep it together, "How, how am a' supposed to lead, when a' can't even keep a little girl safe?"

Merricat stared at him, no matter what she tried to muster, she couldn't think of anything to say, instead, she placed a hand on his shoulder, and then hugged him tightly. He didn't respond at first, but within seconds, he dropped his gun, and wrapped his arms tightly around her. They stood there embracing one another, there was nothing romantic or suggestive in the gesture, it was a friend trying to be there for a friend. Somethin her mother always told her, when you're lost for words, there's nothin a hug can't fix. So she held him tightly, trying to convey what words couldn't.

They stayed like that for a while, until Merricat finally broke them apart, and she smiled weakly, "You're a good man, Grimes, and you're a good leader. We are going to find Sophia, and then, we're gonna get to Fort Benning, you understand me?"

Her smile was returned, and Rick nodded shyly, "Yes ma'am".

"Good. Go on now, get some rest – come on you made me wait on the lines when ma head was in two places. Time ta return the favour, I'll take over here", she instructed him firmly.

Rick finally conceited as he handed her his rifle, "You're such a mother", he laughed as he began to make his way back to his tent. A faint of a smile ghosted on her lips, before she turned and perched the gun snugly in her arms and stared out into the distance, keeping watch for Sophia, for walkers, for anything that might dare and try to hurt her people.

"Everybody takes a weapon", Rick told them, handing over an arrangement of knives and axes. He and Daryl had been up just before first light, and everyone else had quickly followed suit. It would be their first morning searching for Sophia, and hopefully their last. T-Dog and Dale would be remaining behind, and the older man had kindly agreed to watch Sophie while Merricat was on the search.

"These aren't the kind of weapons we need", Andrea snapped, "What about the guns?"

"Haven't we been over that? Daryl, Merr, Rick and I are carrying. Can't have people poppin off rounds every time a tree rustles".

"It's not the trees I'm worried about", Andrea insisted angrily.

"Say somebody fires at the wrong moment, and a herd happens to be passin by. En' it's game over for all of us. So you need to get over it".

Tension hung thick after that conversation, and Rick nodded in the direction of Daryl and Merricat, it was their turn to take up the helm.

"The idea is to take the creek up about five miles, turn around and come back down the other side. Chances are she'll be by the creek. It's our only landmark", Daryl informed them.

"Everyone stays quiet and stay sharp", Merricat instructed, "Keep space between you but always stay within sight of each other. Any trouble, anything at all, you holler to me, Rick, Daryl or Shane. Stay close and watch each other's backs".

And like that, they were back off into the woods. They kept in formation, but Merricat scouted further ahead of the group, communicating with Daryl through different bird calls. She was fast and nimble and was quick to spot any indicators of danger. Together they managed to cover a good distance, but Merricat halted when she saw a large object further ahead, hidden amongst the trees. She crouched a little lower, taking a few more steps forward, it was a tent. She immediately cupped her hands around her mouth, and imitated a bullfinch, whistling three times.

Within minutes Daryl was at her side, crossbow in hand, she pressed her forefinger to her lips, and pointed towards the tent, he nodded, and beckoned Rick and the others to come forward, slowly.

"She could be in there", Shane commented. But Merricat and Daryl knew to be more cautious, "Could be a whole bunch 'a things in there", Daryl muttered as he unsheathed his bowie knife, together they approached the tent in silence, Merricat with her sword raised in a defensive guard. Merricat circled it, keeping her eyes sharp for any signs of movement. Daryl on the other hand peered through a crack in the tent's lining, but neither of the two could make much of what was in side … there was only one way to find out.

They reconvened, and Daryl slowly began to unzip the opening with Merricat covering him, her sword raised in case of any nasty surprises.

The only nasty surprise that awaited them inside was the stench of death. Merricat was the first to step inside, Daryl followed. A decaying corpse sat in it's chair with a gun in its mouth. Merricat found herself choking violently, and quickly covered her mouth after making a sign of the cross.

"Daryl? Merricat?" they both heard Carol call their names, but neither answered. They were taken aback by the sight of the wretched man, he had been dead for over a week by the looks of it, his jaw blown clean off, and maggots enjoying a feast on the rotting flesh of his face. May the Lord have mercy on your soul.

Merricat met Daryl's eyes, it wasn't Sophia, that was something. Before they emerged Daryl quickly prized the gun from the dead man's hand, stuffing it into the back of his pants.

"It ain't her", he informed the others as they emerged from the tent, once more Merricat found it difficult to look at Carol's eyes.

"What's in there?" Andrea asked.

"Some guy", he answered quickly, "Did what Jenner said, opted out. Isn't that what he called it?" His words were laced with a particular amount of malice and contempt, and it was a no brainer as to who it was intended for. Before they had left the highway, Andrea had once more asked Dale to giver her back her gun, and the conversation quickly turned volatile as Andrea ridiculed Dale for forcing her to leave the CDC, for stopping her from killing herself. It had become clear that Daryl didn't have a very high opinion of suicide.

Before anyone could say another word, the most remarkable thing happened, the forest began to echo with the sounds of Church bells ringing. The need for stealth and slow procession immediately evaporated as everyone bolted in the direction of the ringing. "What direction?" Shane asked quickly, it seemed to be coming from all around them.

"This way", Merricat pointed out, "North, I'm pretty sure".

"Damn it's hard to tell out here", Shane snapped.

"If we hear them then maybe Sophia does", Carol chirped in optimistically, or was it more out of desperation? Merricat cast a glance over the woman, praying silently that she was right.

" – Someone ringing those bells, they could be calling others".

" – Or signalling that they found her".

"Hell she could be ringing them herself", Rick announced, "C'mon!"

They ran for a brief fifteen minutes before they came across the clearing, and the small Church came into view. It was surrounded by a small graveyard. But there it was, pristine and white, like a beacon of hope in a world gone mad … and maybe, it would be Sophia's salvation. But as Merricat surveyed the building, she felt a terrible pitfall in her stomach, "This, can't be it", she breathed, "There's no steeple, no bells…" She didn't want to admit it, but still, how could they have gotten the wrong church? How many more in the perimeter could there possibly be?

They pressed forward anyhow, running in between the graves that circled the building. They ran to the large wooden doors, she, Daryl, and Rick took up the lead, ready for the worst of what they could find within the walls. They opened the doors, three people were seated at different pews, and for the briefest of seconds, Merricat smiled, but then they turned, and she saw their faces … their decaying, snarling faces.

They split up, Daryl and Rick took out the two males with borrowed machetes, whilst Merricat headed straight for the female. The veiled walker hissed vehemently at her, but Merricat without saying a pray, plunged her sword deep into the female's skull. They finished the three walkers off quickly, but it left a grizzly scene. Merricat felt a deep sense of sadness, shedding blood in the Lord's house, what had she come to? Rick immediately began to scream Sophie's name, rapidly kicking open all the doors of the small church. But Merricat's eyes fixed onto the large wooden statue of our Lord on the Cross, it had been so long since she had seen one. "Yo JC, you taken requests?" Daryl lamented bitterly, but before the young woman knew it, she was dropping to her knees. The bells began to toll again, and everyone flooded outside once more, but not Merricat, she remained rooted to the spot.

God, it's been a while since I've made such a personal prayer … actually spoke to you. It's easy to recite the ones you learn in Sunday school, like reading lines from a play, you don't always have to put real meaning behind it. But God, if you're listening … and alotta people would argue that you aren't anymore, there's a little girl, Sophia, now, she's a good kid. Bit shy, and quiet, but a sweet little thing. She got lost and, we've been trying to find her, all of us. And I know, hell, even a thought for a while, alotta people do, call this the end of the world, time of judgement finally upon us and all … but am not asking you to save the world, it's gone to shit, we messed it up, that's on us. And I know, I shouldn't be askin for anything, but please, let us find her, let us find Sophia safe and sound. Bring her home, bring her home to her mother and the people who love her. I know, I shouldn't speak to you, with all that I've done, but, am not asking you to forgive me – I know that I'm not worth it … but this little girl, she is. Please, please God, let her be alive, let her come home. Amen.

Merricat hoped that God was listening, she was hoping that someone was listening, she needed someone to be listening. She bowed her head, but felt someone kneel beside her, she looked up quickly, and found Carol looking at her, "You, you don't mind?" she croaked wearily.

The young woman wagged her head, "Not at all".

Carol prayed with her, but she spoke her prayers out loud, "Father forgive me, I don't deserve your mercy. I prayed for safe passage from Atlanta and you provided. I prayed for Ed to be punished for laying his hands on me, and … for looking at his own daughter". Merricat froze beside her, her whole body going as stoic as stone. She felt her throat constrict tightly as the air was sucked out of her lungs. No, she didn't just hear that … oh dear God no. "Whatever sickness was growing in his soul, I prayed that you would put a stop to it. Give me a chance to raise her right, help her not make my mistakes … she's so fearful. She's so young in her way, she hasn't had a chance. I prayed for Ed's death, that was a sin … please, don't let this be my punishment". Merricat felt as though the world was falling apart around her, she couldn't hear anymore, her stomach churned as her chest tightened, and she knew damn well what was happening to her. "Excuse me", she gasped as she quickly stumbled to her feet and practically bolted from the church. Her frantic exit was noted by everyone in the room, but non-more so than Carol, she glanced and watched as the young girl ran from her, and all at once every suspicion she held was confirmed in the older woman's mind.

Merricat ran around to the side of the church, unwanted tears pricking her eyes. Her heart was racing as her head spun at a thousand miles per hour, all those images flashed before her mind, the things she was trying so hard to forget. Why was she so easily set off? Why was she so weak? She was always the strong one, so why did she keep falling to pieces?

She leaned against the Church wall for support as she fought desperately to control her ragged breathing. Carol quickly caught up with her, with Lori, Glenn and Daryl at her heels. "Merri are you alright?" she asked, her own eyes still damp and bloodshot.

"I'm fine", Merricat choked, "Jus, just felt a little nauseous all of a sudden".

Carol tilted her head sympathetically and took a few steps closer to the young woman. "Merricat", she whispered softly, low so that the others would not hear, "I know".

Merricat blinked rapidly, her face blanching, "I, I don't know what you mean", she stammered, but Carol's resolve did not move, she took another two paces, "I know". Merricat felt her lip begin to quiver uncontrollably, no one, no one had ever acknowledged it to her before. Ever. Carol threw her arms tightly around her, and Merricat found herself burying her face into the woman's shoulder. She should have been the one comforting her, she should have been the one holding it together for Carol, but, but she couldn't draw upon the strength to do it. Carol knew, somehow, she'd always known. "Thank you", she whispered through tears. The others amongst them had no idea the magnitude of what had just transpired between the two women, the gravity of what that meant for Merricat. To not be dismissed, to not be disregarded, to be heard without having to speak. To be believed. Carol had just granted her the greatest kindness that anyone had in her entire life, just with two simple words.

They remained like that until Rick finally emerged from he Church, looking shaken. They all settled beneath the shade of the tree whilst Shane spoke with him. Merricat felt a strange catharsis wash over her, the shaking stopped, as did the tightening of her chest, it all just … stopped. And so she sat peacefully still beneath the tree with Carol on one side of her and Lori with Carl on the other. She didn't feel the eyes on her, just one set of blue eyes who couldn't shift their gaze away. Daryl was absolutely bewildered by what he just witnessed. He honestly couldn't make head nor tails of it, all he knew for certain, that there was somethin else botherin the woman, and he was damn sure that whatever it was, it was bad.

Rick and Shane approached them, ready with their instructions. "A'right", Shane spoke, " Y'all gotta follow the creek-bed back, okay Daryl you're in charge, me and Rick are jus gonna hang back and search this area another hour or so – just to be thorough".

"Splittin us up?" Daryl remarked with uncertainty, "you sure?"

"Yeah", Shane replied, "We'll catch up to you".

" I wanna stay too", Carl spoke up suddenly, "I'm her friend".

Neither Shane nor Rick responded, to everyone's surprise, it was Lori, "You just be careful, okay?" she told him, effectively giving Carl permission.

"I will", he smiled. Would this be the milestones of children in the new world? Going on their first scavenge? Their first search mission? There first walker kill? Seems a pretty big jump from being able to use the toilet and articulate your emotions instead of screaming. Merricat thought hard on this, these would be the challenges facing Sophie, and yet she still made her work on her reading and activity books. Yes that was all the standard before but … is that what counts as preparing children for the world anymore?

And like that, they parted ways. Shane, Rick and Carl pressed on in the search for Sophia, and the rest, Merricat included, would return to camp.

The air was thick with a heavy burden hanging over their heads, almost like a funeral procession. It was Carol who stopped, she looked defeated as she slumped down onto a fallen tree, "So this is it?" she sighed, "This is the whole plan?"

"Guess the plan is to widdle us down into smaller and smaller groups", Daryl commented cynically as he lay back against a tree. Merricat shot him a look, they had always trusted Rick, she didn't understand why they had to question him now.

"Carrying knives and pointy sticks", Andrea jibed, and then shot a glare at Lori, "I see you have a gun", she scoffed.

"Why you want it"? Lori finally snapped, holding it in her outstretched arm, "Here. Take it, cause am' sick of the looks you're given me". Everyone seemed taken aback by Lori's honesty, including Andrea, who gave her a less than pleasant look as she took the gun from her.

"All of you", Lori growled, as she herself sat down, she turned first to Carol, "Honey, I can't imagine what you are going through, and I would do anything to stop it, but you have gotta stop blaming Rick. It is in your face every time you look at him. And once more he didn't hesitant for a second, did he? I don't know, if any of us would've gone after her the way he did or made the hard decisions that he had to make, or if anybody could have done anything differently". It was clear that Lori's words resonated with everyone, you could see it with the look of guilt etched into their faces. Merricat knew for herself that she had not doubted Rick, and had come to his defence, but still, she understood where Lori was coming from, it couldn't be easy to watch the man you love get bombarded with judging faces when he was trying his best to keep it all together.

"Well, anybody?" Lori continued, "Y'all look to him and then you blame him when he's not perfect. If you think you can do this without him go right ahead, nobody is stopping you".

Silence followed her words, but like Merricat knew, sometimes actions conveyed what you needed said when words failed, and that is what happened, when Andrea handed Lori back her gun. "We should keep moving", she said quietly.

Daryl took point whilst Merricat brought up the rear of the group. For once her sword hang in its sheath while she kept her rifle in hand, judging it made people feel a little bit safer.

They walked for miles, rarely speaking, there was very little to talk about. All Merricat could think about was seeing Sophie, she'd had an epiphany of sorts outside the Church. Sophia was not prepared for being lost in the woods, she'd been left in the woods for days at a time at that age as part of her father's rigorous training. She thought it child abuse back then, but look at her now, her hunting skills, her survivalists skills, all that was painfully instilled in her by her father, is what had been keeping her alive. She had decided, then and there, that Sophie would be prepared if ever she found herself in such a situation. Merricat's duty was to prepare her for the world, and that's exactly what she was going to do.

They'd heard a gunshot at lest twenty minutes ago, just the one. Merricat had volunteered to head back to make sure everything was okay, she was a tracker, she had argued, she would be able to find her way back to camp easy enough. But as Daryl had put it (rather bluntly as usual) Rick had put him in charge of getting everyone safely back to camp, and he wasn't about to let her wander off and get lost over a gunshot that could have came from anywhere. After five minutes bickering between them, Merricat finally conceited to pressure from Lori and Carol. But she and Lori kept turning back, kept glancing over their shoulders. Eventually Andrea spoke up, "You both still worried about that?"

"It was a gunshot", Lori repeated worriedly.

"We all heard it", Glenn reminded her.

"Why one though?" she pressed on, "Why just the one gunshot?"

"Maybe they took down a walker", Daryl suggested with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Don't be patronizing", Merricat snapped irritably, "We both know that neither Rick nor Shane would use a gun to put down one walker – they'd do it quietly".

"And, shouldn't they have caught up with us by now?" Carol added, hugging tightly to the strap of her bag.

"Nothin we can do about it anyway", Daryl answered, rather indifferently, "We'd run around these woods chasin echoes".

"So what do you suggest we do?" Merricat countered, not liking his tone very much.

"Same as we've been doing, beat the bush for Sophia and work are way back to the highway", he alliterated, before beginning to walk once more, but Andrea took the moment to approach Carol, "I'm so sorry for what you're going through", she confided quietly, "I know how you feel".

Merricat watched Carol's face shift uneasily, because the implication of Andrea's words was that, just as she lost Amy, Carol had lost Sophia for good. "I suppose you do", she sniffed, before bowing her head, "The thought of her, out here, by herself … it's the not knowing that's killing me. I just keep hoping and praying that she doesn't end up like Amy".

Merricat knew that Carol didn't mean it intentionally, but she had just crossed a line, but she quickly realised her mistake, and clutched Andrea by the shoulders, "Oh God, that's the worst thing I've ever said".

"We're all hoping and praying with you", is all Andrea could answer with, "for what it's worth".

"I'll tell you what it's worth", Daryl interrupted, seemingly tired of the conversation, "Not a damn thing. It's a waste of time all this hopin and prayin, cause we're gonna locate that little girl, and she's gonna be just fine. Am I the only one standing around here? Good Lord". And with that, he retook his position at the head of the group. Merricat couldn't help but smile, and neither could Lori apparently, and all the women for one blissful moment, stood grinning at one another. Revelation of the day, Daryl Dixon is just a big old softie.

Merricat one more found herself at the rear of the group, pondering on what Daryl had said, was he honestly that confident in finding Sophia, or was he just putting on a brave face for Carol's sake? It was hard to tell with that damn unreadable face of his. You'd think for a man who was prone to extreme emotions, that you'd be able to see it on his face. They searched along the creek-bed for another hour, but daylight was not on their side. The sun was beginning to dip in the sky, but Merricat did not want to be the one to say it.

"We'll lose the light before long, I think we should call it", Daryl voiced what Merricat was thinking … and she was grateful for it.

"Let's head back", Lori sighed.

"We'll pick it up again tomorrow?" Carol pressed eagerly.

But Merricat interjected firmly, "We'll find her tomorrow".

They headed in the direction of camp, it was clear that everyone was exhausted, drained from what felt like the longest day in living memory.

"How much further?" Andrea finally asked impatiently, they had forgone the normal formation, instead walking in one long horizontal line.

"Not much", Daryl assured her, "Maybe a hundred yards, as the crow flies".

"Too bad we aren't crows", she complained.

They continued to walk almost as if they were walkers themselves, trailing their feet and shuffling along tiredly. But their quite march was interrupted by a blood-curdling scream: Andrea.

Merricat ignited into action, unsheathing her sword and bounding forward, "Andrea!" she bellowed, the others followed her hotly – but she was the fastest. She had Andrea within her sights, and she was on the ground, with a walker coming straight for her.

Merricat's heart was racing as she ran as fast as her body would allow her, but she was petrified, would she reach her in time?

But the most amazing thing happened, Merricat halted in her tracks as she watched a brown horse gallop into view, with a rider on it's back. The rider swung a bat, cracking the walker on the skull, sending it flying. Sh was a woman, roughly the same age as herself, with short, light brown hair.

"Lori, Lori Grimes?" she called anxiously.

"Whoa, am Lori", Lori stated as the rest of the group approached them.

The rider seemed determined and spoke at a lightning pace with the greatest urgency in her voice, "Rick sent me you've got to come now".

"What?"

"There's been an accident and Carl's been shot. He's still alive but you gotta come now". Lori did not hesitate as her face turned to that of a dread that only a mother could comprehend. "Rick needs you!" the rider cried, "Just come now".

Lori dropped her bag, and immediately took the rider's hand as she hauled her up onto the horse.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa", Daryl objected quickly, "We don't know this girl, you can't get on that horse".

The rider ignored him, "Rick said you've got others on the highway? That big traffic stall?"

"Uh-huh", Glenn stammered.

"Backtrack to Feigen road. Two miles down is our farm, look for the mail box the name's Greene", and like that, she was gone, dashing through the woods with Lori on her back.

But Merricat couldn't process anything that she had said as she looked on in horror, only one thing stuck, looping on and on in her brain,

Carl had been shot. Carl had been shot. Carl had been shot.

Thoughts?