Standing in front of Unkar Plutt, the undisputed Crime Boss of Jakku, Ben Solo was seriously starting to regret his decision not to become a Jedi. If he had a light saber right now ….

But there was no use crying over spilled blue milk …

"Let's try this again, Mr. Plutt. My friend Chewbacca here"- and the Wookie gave an affirmative grunt- "tells me that you have both my father and his ship the Millennium Falcon. For reasons that escape me, my mother wants me to bring them both back home. What will it take for us to strike a deal? I'm prepared to pay a reasonable amount of credits for both-"

"I have all the credits I need, young Solo. And I don't have to pay for anything I want on Jakku." The so-called Blobfish settled back in his chair and scratched his neck. "That doesn't mean I won't strike a deal. You just have to offer what I want."

Ben sighed. He was a tall young man, currently dressed much like his father. His hair was too long for a hot world like Jakku. He badly needed a shower … as did apparently everyone else on this kriffing planet. "What do you want?"

Unkar sighed and looked at Ben contemplatively. "Your mother is Senator Organa, is she not?"

"Yes. Yes she is."

"Are you married, young Solo?"

"Um, no." If Dad thought he'd marry this thug to rescue him then he'd better be prepared to rot on this Force forsaken planet …

"I have a daughter, Young Solo. The Desert Rose of Jakku. My little Rey of Sunshine. I promised her mother- Force rest her soul- that I would see to it that our little girl would be respectable and a proper young lady. You want your father and that ship? You agree to marry Rey."

Ben Solo's mind boggled at the thought of spending the rest of his life married to a female version of Plutt. "Um … Mr. Plutt, how do you know your daughter would even want to marry me?"

"She'll do what I ask." Unkar frowned as though he was not entirely sure he believed that. "All I ask is that you marry her, give her a respectable last name, and spend a year introducing her to society. Once that's over, the two of you can get a divorce."

Well that wouldn't be so bad. As long as he didn't have to stay married to her … or consummatethe marriage. He could probably do a year. Mom wasn't in great health, and she didn't want to go with things left unsettled in the family.

Ah, kriff it.

"Okay. Provided she's up to it, I'll do it." And that old man had better never forget it either. He's going to treat Mom like a kriffing queen after this or I'll kill him myself.

"Very well, I'll go fetch Rey and your father. Wait right here."

The guards were even larger than Chewie.

"Not like I can go anywhere, Mr. Plutt."

Ben comforted himself with a slightly morbid fantasy of stabbing his father with a light saber … maybe tossing him off a bridge … while he waited for Unkar to return. He had a contented smile on his face when Unkar returned with his father.

"Hey, son. Great to see you again." Han offered a wane smile. "Did Unkar tell you about the deal?"

"You knew about it?"

"I suggested it!" Han said proudly.

Ben began to think that maybe his little fantasy wouldn't remain a fantasy … kriff it, Mom would never forgive him … when the door to Unkar's off slammed open and a tiny humanoid whirlwind in white stalked through the door.

"Daddy! What the kriff are you thinking?!" The obviously human- and very attractive- young girl stopped glaring at Unkar to cast a hostile glare at a stunned Ben. "What are you gaping at, you human AT-AT?"

"You're Rey?" Ben blurted out.

"Yes. I'm Rey Plutt. Want to make something of it?" The girl had a staff strapped to her back and looked quite willing to take it in hand to beat the hell of him.

"But he- you – ?"

"I'm adopted. Got a problem with that, beak face?!"

"Gently, Rey," Unkar cautioned. "The young man is our guest."

"What do you want me here for, Daddy? I was on my way to salvage that destroyer on Suicide Ridge."

"You don't have to do that, Rey. I hire scavengers for that."

"And if I do it we don't have to pay for it. Honestly, you want me to be broke when you die? You're far too tender hearted, Daddy!"

"Rey-"

"I have a bad feeling about this," Chewie growled.

Rey glared at him. "I could use a Wookie skin rug, furball. Just keep talking."

"Rey, darling," Unkar began timidly. "I have something I want you to do."

"You want me to beat him up?" Rey asked hopefully, glaring at Ben.

"No, no. Not that at all. Young ladies should only beat up people when they don't have employees for that. You know how bad the boys feel if you keep them from doing their jobs."

"Milksops!" Rey growled. "Why am I here, Daddy? Get to the point."

"I want you to marry Mr. Solo."

"Him?" Rey glared at Han. "That old fossil?! He belongs in a museum!"

"Not me," Han sputtered. "I already have a wife. He means my son Ben here." Han hastily stepped behind Ben.

"That's almost as bad!" Rey looked Ben up and down. "Take off your shirt."

"What?!" Ben demanded.

"If Daddy wants me to seriously consider marrying you, I want a look at the merchandise. Take that shirt off, flyboy."

Han looked helplessly at Ben.

"Kriffing-" Ben growled as he took his shirt off.

Rey whistled. "Okay, not bad. Not bad at all." She walked up and ran a hand up and down Ben's chest. "Daddy, why do you want me to marry this hunk of meat?" A worried look came across the girl's face and she ran over to the Crime Boss. "You're not sick, are you? I told you that you need to start seeing a doctor!"

"I'm fine, little girl." Unkar patted her shoulders. "Young Solo is the son of Leia Organa. If you marry him, you'll have a place in Galactic Society. You can get out of this sandbox and have the life your mother always wanted for you."

"I want to stay here with you." Rey laid her head on her father's shoulder. "You always took care of me. I don't need society. I have you and the boys."

"Rey," Unkar said gently. "You can't stay here forever. You're meant for more. I want you to do this for me."

"Daddy-" Rey gave him a stubborn look.

"Just for a year, sweetness. If you don't like it, you can come back home." Unkar hugged her. "You'll always be my little girl. But this is for the best, and I want you to have the best. I want you to have the life I can't give you. That's what a good father always wants: for his children to be happy."

Ben glared at Han.

Han had the decency to look ashamed.

"All right," Rey said finally. "If that's what you want. I'll try it. But only for a year." She glanced over at Ben again. "Well, flyboy?"

"The name's Ben."

"Fine. Well, Ben? What are you waiting for?" Rey put her hands on her hips again and glared at the tall young man. "Make with the proposal!"

"What?"

"You don't think I'm going to get married without a proposal, do you? What kind of girl do you think I am?"

"Don't answer that," Han whispered quickly to Ben.

Ben rolled his eyes. "Fine. So … Miss Plutt …" And looking at the feisty young woman, Ben suddenly felt the Force surge through him. Or maybe it was breakfast. Chewie always used too much spice. "Um … would you do me the honor becoming my bride?"

"You didn't kneel."

Ben knelt. "Well?"

"You gotta ask again. You want to do this, you have to ask right. Take a knee."

Wonderful. Ben went down on one knee. "Miss Plutt..." Oh what the kriff. In for a credit … He took one of her hands. "Rey, would you do the honor of becoming my bride?"

As their hands touched, a vision flashed through Ben's mind of Rey … Rey and him … Rey and him … Rey and him doing …

Rey blushed suddenly.

"Don't be afraid," Ben whispered dazedly. "I feel it too."

"Okay," Rey said. "Okay, I'll marry you."

And when she smiled, Ben felt like maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all ….

He still wanted to kill Dad though.