From a first-time director who mostly directs commercials with Hugh Jackman that got replaced by the director of Logan, starring Hugh Jackman, comes the unexpectedly successful crowd-pleasing musical extravaganza that was planned from the very start by Hugh Jackman. Because if you need something to put in your post-Wolverine resume, it is something you already did before. The Greatest Showman.

Based on the real-life figure and showman humbug Phineas Taylor Barnum comes the not-so accurate account of his story, where the showman humbug is retained. And instead of showing his rampant exploitations, we only got a door shut. What? That's it. I was expecting more depth from a guy who is so proud of his Feejee mermaid hoax and minstrel shows. Wait, did I say that right?

Follow P.T. Barnum, a Hugh Jackman down-to-earth figure who looks nothing like the real-life Barnum but has the ultimate wish fulfillment likeness of Hugh Jackman. He has a kind heart, a kind conviction, a kind sense of philanthropy, a kind attitude ditching his in-laws, a kind payback to throw at his critics, and a kind of strange, rapid hormonal growth from a 12-year-old to a fortysomething handsome dude with the likeness of Hugh Jackman. You know, there is a reason why suspension of disbelief exists.

Watch as he creates his own circus from a museum filled with rag dolls and mannequins. And meet the freaks that made up his circus, who only show up in the musical numbers and wherever the plot needs them to be. But we sure give more highlights to characters like Phillip Carlyle, who is so convinced to join Barnum's act with just a drinking game and a crush on the trapeze artist; Charity Barnum, who is…there to become Barnum's motivation; Jenny Lind, the famous Swedish opera singer who is relegated as a mistress for Barnum; the…Bearded Lady, who is there to sing the movie's trailer song; General Tom Thumb, who cosplays as Bonaparte; Anne, who just swings by? Yeah, they didn't invest too much on the characters, did they?

But in spite of its plot faults, that is not what the audience is looking for. So, experience the show-stopping musical numbers from songs by the lyricists of La La Land. Because if you need songs for your own movie, hire the guys who wrote songs for the Flash-Supergirl musical crossover, that one original song from the Trolls movie and A Christmas Story Live! So, listen once again to the soundtrack that you have listened for the hundredth time, featuring songs like:

"The Disney Wish Fulfillment Song" ("A Million Dreams")

'Cause every night I watch Disney

To sing a song that's kind of Glee

A million songs that I may wish to take

I think of what my movie be

Tell this story misleadingly

A million writes this story's gonna fake

And a million bucks this movie's gonna make

"The Symbolism Song" ("Come Alive")

See it live, come alive

Subtle how this part

Matches my kids' heart

Now I'll sing as I strive

I'll start my voice nigh

Then I'll turn it high

When this story is pure fantasy

I guess let us up all the whimsy

'Cause we're throwing all facts out wide open

And you know you would not mind it all

You'll dance and sing this until you fall

'Cause we're throwing the plot out wide open

So, see it live!

"The Backstreet Boys-ish Song" ("The Other Side")

Don't you think this is corny from the way we're dancing only

'Cause I think that we move and we sing how the boy bands fly

It'll make the fangirls scream and cry

'Cause you can do like you do

In High School Musical

Slay with your moves, and you will be hysterical

Oh, dang! Suddenly, your career can glide

But it's still your same old side

"The 'Did Rebecca Ferguson Really Sang This?' Song" ("Never Enough")

All the time I am trying soprano

All the time I am playing the piano

It was never enough

Was never enough

My voice didn't sound operatic

So we hired a double to fill the music

It was never enough

Was never enough

For me

Never, never

Never, never

Never, for me

For me

Never enough

Never enough

Never enough

For me

For me

For me

"The Oscar-Nominated Empowerment Song" ("This Is Me")

Think this is the song from Camp Rock?

Look away, we say

'Cause this isn't a Disney crock

We had moved on from losing to Pixar's

"Remember Me", they say

We tried and failed at the awards

But this music will beat you to the dust

Will stay stuck to empower us

For we are the diverse

When the sharpest words got our rating down

The loyal fans are there to round them out

This is great, this is good

Look at our audience rating perfectly

Look out 'cause here we come

The movie that will make you sing and hum

I don't care if I've seen

I will watch over again, this is me

"The Romantic Duet" ("Rewrite the Stars")

Watch these former Disney stars

Make a ship to make fans cry

Nothing can stop the fanart

Or the song covers that real fail but try

It's up to you, and it's up to me

If we can stop this song that cheesy

But let's mimic those Disney stars

So that the views could be ours

"The Michelle Williams Solo Number" ("Tightrope")

My part is so little but the writers gave me a song

The title is "Tightrope"

That image makes no sense since my screen time isn't that long

Don't ever give up hope

But don't be sure how far this character could go

Yet it's a better movie

Than All the Money in the World

Now let's sing "Tightrope"

Like this, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Like this, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Like ooh

"The Redemption Song" ("From Now On")

And from now on

This hot guy will not be known as Logan

From now on

This role is not a retread of Valjean

Or Helsing, Van

And let this soundtrack in me squirm

Play all day like an earworm

From now on

From now on

From now on

And you will hear this song

And you will hear this song

Hear again!

And you will sing along

And you will sing along

Sing again!

Now play it for so long

Now play it for so long

All again!

It's now stuck all day long

It's now stuck all day along

Stuck again!

And "The Song to Remind You That You Watched a Great Movie" ("The Greatest Show")

So tell me that you love this show!

Give it a rating of a perfect five

Save the movie soundtrack on your hard drive

The reviews aren't true

The hype is over you

This is the greatest film!

We let this film run for five months

And the fans can't stop right now

Watching it, still new

The songs will be stuck too

We light it up we won't come down

And the sun can't stop us now

Watching it come true

It's taking over you

This is the greatest film!

Starring:

The Great Danton (P.T. Barnum)

Baewatch (Phillip Carlyle)

Ann Weying (Charity Barnum)

"Oh, Sing Sweet Ferguson…" (Jenny Lind)

Hurley from Lost (Lettie Lutz)

K.C. Swinging Over (Anne Wheeler)

A Wookie (The Dog Boy)

White Chicks (The Albino Twins)

Little Man (Charles Stratton)

Freaks, No Geeks (The rest of the freaks)

The Nostalgia Critic (James Gordon Bennett)

And Screen Saver CGI (Some glaring CGI backdrops, specifically Charles' house)

The Greatest Jackman

Well, that was good. The next thing we need from Hugh Jackman is starring in a fantasy story and singing hammily to the tune of a Nirvana song. Wait, he did that already? Oh my, I forgot this existed. It's really hilarious.