Right, so I just read this fucking grim ass manga and I was immediately hooked. Nothing like setting up a dark and gritty fantasy setting by having classic JRPG classes get fucked... Both metaphorically and literally.

But in all seriousness, Goblin Slayer is a pretty disturbing light novel. And like Made in Abyss, it's not something I'd recommend to everyone. It's got it's flaws, but I wouldn't be writing a new story if it wasn't enjoyable to read.

So enjoy this Warhammer Vermintide crossover, a match made in Sigmar's light!

Warning: Goblin Slayer contains really disturbing stuff if that already wasn't obvious. Read at your own risk.

Skittergate

"By Taal! They just keep coming!" Markus yelled, his sword stained with the blood of both Ratmen and Northmen as his shield was leaking with the liquid. The rest of the Ubersreik five fought, holding their own against the unceasing horde.

"The more the better, Azumgi! I thought I was going to get bored!" The Ranger Veteran yelled before firing his Grudge-Raker into a clump of Skaven, blasting the few nearby Rat-men into pieces as his covered helmet and armored magnifying lense became painted with blood. He laughed out behind his beard guard, moving forward as he took out his two-handed axe.

"Bardin, wait!" The foot knight yelled before grumbling to himself, kicking a Skaven off the outcropping as he turned to see Victor and Sienna fighting back to back. The Witch Hunter Captain yelling out holy commandments of Sigmar as his rapier lopped heads left and right.

Sienna on the other hand, rushed forward, her chained plate and cloth heating up.

"ASHQY!" She yelled before detonating into a fiery haze, roasting Skaven and Northmen alike as she stood within the haze. Victor merely cursed, firing a pistol into the head of an approaching Mauler.

"Contain yourself witch!" He then noticed Markus come up next to him. "Kruber! Where in Sigmar's name did the she-elf go!?"

The soldier blocked a strike from a northman before stabbing his sword into the barbarians gut. "I thought she was with you!"

Victor had no time to curse as he spotted a bloated figure appear from one of the platforms.

"Blight witch!" He yelled, trying to aim his pistol.

However, he didn't need to fire, as two daggers stabbed into the nurgle worshipper throat, the bloated figure gurgling before falling off.

Kerillian stood there, her daggers dripping with putrid red as she jumped off, landing atop the back of a bulwark and stabbing into the Northman's back. She turned her head, a look of disgust developing behind her eery skeletal mask.

"Lumberfoots! Keep the elevator secured or we're not leaving this place alive!"

Markus nodded, lighting a little black ball of fused powder before throwing it.

"Grenade!"

That seemed to do the trick, blasting the horde into bits of bloody gore and giving a moment of reprieve as the party members boarded the elevator. Victor turned his head, a sneer on his face as Bardin continued on fighting.

"Do you test my patience dwarf!? Get in here!"

Bardin shrugged, finishing off a downed Northman before climbing aboard, Markus immediately pulling the lever. It went up just as the skaven and Northmen recovered, attempting to climb up after them.

Markus let out a breath of relief, holding onto the crooked handrail as he wore Blucher's helmet in honor of the captain that defended Ubersreik.

"That was too bloody close."

Bardin shook his head, leaning on his Grudge-Raker. "Bah, no it wasn't! You shoulda seen me! It was like me n'-"

"Cousin Okri?" Sienna asked.

The dwarf seemed surprised, "Ay, how did you know?"

They all let out a collective groan as the elevator traversed further up, the Skittergate beginning to collapse as the giant metal construct fell downwards into a chasm. They had done it, they had stopped the advance of Chaos.

Markus holstered his sword and shield before walking next to Victor, the Witch Hunter looking down at the falling wreckage with a grim facade.

"What now, Sir?"

He turned, his good eye seemingly thinking. "Even I am unsure. Perhaps we can take to cleaning out the filth from Helmgart. "

Kerillian scoffed, cleaning off her blades. "Looks like one eye doesn't have a plan for once."

"Shut it she-elf. We should be thanking Sigmar that we were able to do his holy work."

Sienna merely sighed, "And back to the fighting. Can't we just appreciate the fact that the job is done? No more Skittergate, no more Norsca coming through. And that damn Grey Ratty is dead."

Markus nodded in agreement, "Right! We should be drinking to celebrate when we get back to the keep, Sigmar knows that we need-."

"Uh, Zaki's? Why is the Thaggoraki gate still glowing?" Bardin asked as he pointed down.

They rushed to the side, noticing that the Skittergate, despite fallen into the deep chasm, was still glowing. Emitting an erratic green light as a tremor could be felt.

That didn't seem good.

Sienna seemed to gaze off behind her metal mask before turning her head, "The winds are screaming! Something is wrong!"

"By Isha! It's going to explode!" Kerillian said before turning her head, "BRACE!"

They all complied, grabbing to a handrail as the energy from the Skittergate proved to much, sucking in reality before jetting out. A green field of pure erratic warp enveloped the entirety of the cavern.

And then, Helmgart was no more.

New World

Markus awoke, gasping for air as he slowly rose up, brushing away stone from his plate armor. He had noticed his helmet had fallen off, his gauntlet reaching out to grab it amongst the rubble.

He then turned, taking out his sword and shield.

"Guys? Where have you lot gone off too?"

There was a pause, before a faded response was heard at the end of the tunnel.

"Over here, Mayfly!"

Markus grunted, that was definitely Kerillian.

He walked up the tunnel, reaching the end that spanned into a cavern. Sure enough, Kerillian was pinned under a wooden log, heaving as she attempted to push it. "Well? Don't just stand there, Mayfly."

"Yeah, yeah. I know." The knight bemoaned as he placed his two hands on the log, helping her lift it as the log fell to the side, granting the elf freedom as she picked herself up, brushing her lightweight armor.

"Where are all the other Lumberfoots?"

Markus looked around, "Dunno, I didn't-"

"Wazzoks!? YOOHOO!? Are you- Umph- there!?" Another voice, but this time coming from above. Kerillian and Markus turned their head upwards to see the dwarf hanging off from a ledge, clearly in need of assistance.

"Bardin! Don't worry! We'll save ya!" Markus announced before noticing that there was no way up to the ledge.

Bardin seemed to struggle, "H-Hurry! I don't think I can-" His grasp then slipped, the dwarf falling as Markus's eyes widened. He ran forward, arms outstretched as he was surprised to see Kerillian alongside him.

They both formed a circle, catching the dwarf as the Human and Elf grunted.

"By Isha! You are as heavy as you are as dimwitted, Dwarf."

"Oi! I'll have ya know Wutelgi that I-"

She let go, Markus having to drop Bardin as the Ranger grunted, rubbing his backside.

"Save it, Dwarf. We need to find the others." Kerillian looked to the side.

Markus came up next to her, "Can't you use that 'Wave' thing that you love talking about?"

"It is not the 'Wave', Mayfly. It is the Weave you are referring to." She then paused, "But something's not right. The Weave feels more... Different then usual."

There was a long pause before Bardin spoke up, "Welp, if the Wutelgi can't find 'em. Then we'll have to do it like Okri would. Navigate these tunnels and find a way out."

"What about Saltzpyre and Sienna?" Markus asked, "We gotta find them."

Bardin nodded, "Then we'll find 'em too! Trust me Azumgi. Trust a dwarfs word."

Tunnel

Sienna awoke as her fiery eyes emitted a brightness. She steadily rose up, bright order sword in hand as she looked around.

"Hello? Darlings? Are you there?"

A grunt was heard, someone in pain.

She recognized the voice.

"Saltzpyre?"

The Unchained went forward, illuminating the dark as she spotted the Witch Hunter, his leg caught beneath the rock as he attempted to pull it free.

"Saltzpyre!" Sienna yelled, kneeling down next to him. "Here, don't move so much."

He nodded as the Unchained placed both hands on the rock, helping him push it off as he drew his leg back. He then stood up, a visible limp to his step as he attempted to stay upright.

"You're limping Saltzpyre, you need aid. Here." She handed him a healing draught.

The Witch Hunter looked at it, before looking back up at her. "Thank you... Wizard." He then drank it, leaving out a sigh of relief as the bones within his broken ankle healed.

Sienna crossed her arms, "Well Saltzpyre? Which is it?"

He turned to face her, "Which is what?"

"Am I a witch or a wizard to you?"

For a second, he appeared flustered before shaking his head. "It hardly matters. What matters is the task at hand."

She turned, "Well, you don't suppose the task is getting out of here?"

Victor looked around with his good eye, his tall hat casting a shadow from Sienna's illumination. "This... This isn't the cavern we were leaving from."

The Unchained raised an eye behind her cast iron mask, "What do you mean?"

"This stone composition. I smell no warp stone taint upon it like before, and I swear by Sigmar you aren't able to sense it either."

Sienna paused before nodding, "You're right. I don't."

He then seemed angered, "That infernal rat machinery must have sense us to Lustria for all I know! We must find our way out no-!"

A little skitter was heard.

Immediately the two swiveled their heads, drawing whatever weapon they had as Sienna illuminated the tunnel.

It revealed a small green creature, holding a small dagger in it's grasp as it covered it's eyes.

"Is that a Goblin? What's it-"

The Witch Hunter didn't even hesitate, drawing his pistol and firing. The Goblin's head exploded into a pulpy mess, it's body falling over. Sienna had to cover her right ear, turning her head with a scowl.

"Saltzpyre! A little warning next time!?"

He scoffed, "No warning should ever be needed when exterminating filth." He then walked up to the small corpse, kneeling down. "If there is anything I hate besides Skaven, Heretics, and Graveborn, it is Greenskins."

However he noticed something, the Goblin only wearing a loincloth as a clear indicator of... A peculiar part.

Victor took his rapier, nudging the loincloth to the side before gasping, his face full of disgust.

"Heresy! Absolute Heresy!"

Sienna walked up to him, "What? What is it!?" And then she saw it, her face curling. "Ugh, that is disgusting! I thought Goblins don't have-!"

"Genitals? As did I." The Witch Hunter then turned his head to her. "Do me a solid Witch and burn this abomination."

She nodded, "With pleasure."

The unchained raised her hand and the corpse was burnt to ash, leaving no sign of it ever existing. Victor stood back up, a hand on his chin, "That disgusting thing was clearly attempting to stalk us. Keep your wits about, there could be more of them."

Upon finishing that statement, the sound multiple amounts of skittering was heard as tiny feet trampled on the stones ahead.

"Looks like it's brethren have caught up..." Victor commented, holding his pistol in his left as he prepared his rapier.

Sienna seemed to smile devilishly, her hair catching fire as her skin immolated beneath, giving her a fiery and menacing appearance behind her cast iron mask. "Then let them come. I have plenty of flames to share."

Cave

"And come thunder taste our dwarven axes, till the day we die! Let the foes of dwarven kind, die upon our homeland stone! Bum bum bu-"

"Bardin! Stop that singing. You're gonna reveal our positions."

"Well what else ya want me to do Azumgi?"

Kerillian spoke up, "How about do your job of navigating these tunnels dwarf. In case you haven't noticed, we're lo-"

A loud bang was heard, echoing through the tunnels.

They all immediately knew who it was.

"Saltzpyre! That must've been him!" Markus said, moving forward. "C'mon you lot!"

They rushed forward, reaching the end of their tunnel before spotting little humanoids run past. All of them brandishing crude and primitive weapons, much like Skaven slaves. Markus stopped, confusion on his face, "Wait, are those-"

"GROBI!" Bardin yelled with unrestrained fury as he took out his great axe and charged, straight into a trio of the miniature Greenskins. Cleaving their limbs and flesh into fine chunks as he roared out.

Kerillian ran up alongside Markus, readying both daggers.

"Our dwarf seems agitated..."

She then faded, disappearing into a wispy cloud as Markus readied his shield and sword, noticing a few Goblins separate from their group. "First Rat men? And now Goblins?! Bloody Moor... What did I do to offend?"

He then charged forward, bashing the skulls of the approaching Goblins, his shield being stained with blood and brain matter. He slashed and stabbed at those that had came to close, becoming an impenetrable bulwark.

A few Goblins appeared at the sideline, brandishing bows and slings as they chattered in their tongue, letting loose upon the imposing Reikhammer knight. The projectiles simply bounced off his shield and armor.

They attempted to ready another volley before eyes appeared behind them.

Pitch black eyes that promised murder.

Kerillian drove her daggers forward, eviscerating two of the archers as the slingshot Goblins panicked, falling back as the elf showed no mercy. Bardin watched, laughing as he drove his axe into the head of a Goblin.

"Would ya look at that! The Wutelgi is leaving a mile of corpses!"

Markus pushed away an oncoming group, "Bardin! Focus!"

The three made their way up, cutting down and murdering ever single Goblin that had dared to come across them. Some had attempted to do sneakier things, going to the side in an attempt to ambush.

Yet months of fighting Skaven had prepared the trio, easily spotting any type of maneuver and rewarding their foolish attempts with death.

They reached a new tunnel system before noticing charred remains of a few Goblins, Kerillian inspecting the mess as Bardin and Markus fought the green tide back. "This is definitely Sienna's work." She then looked up, noticing the cave ahead illuminated as flashes and gunshots could be heard. "There, up ahead Lumberfoots! Keep fighting!"

That seemed to renew them further, Markus gritting his teeth as he forcefully pushed forward, having the Goblins stumble before him as they reached the end of the cave.

It wasn't until he had pushed them back into the next tunnel that a blast of fire charred the Greenskins in front of Markus's shield, the Knight guffawing in surprise as he felt the heat lick at his armor for a brief moment.

Sienna revealed herself, clearly worked up as flames danced across her body.

"There you are Darlings! I thought you three were gone!"

Bardin scoffed, "It'll take much more to kill us, Zarrin." The dwarf then chuckled, "Besides, killing Grobi makes me feel like an Ironbreaker again."

Markus felt relieved, yet a question came to mind. "Say, where's Saltzpy-"

"BY SIGMAR, THE HAMMER, AND THE EMPIRE!" A furious voice yelled out, another gunshot being heard as the sound of screeching Goblins rang through the air.

Kerillian sighed, "That's one-eye alright."

Sienna gave a nod, turning her head to down the corridor. A few Goblins climbing out of their tunnels as Sienna began to charge her staff.

"Darlings, get behind me!"

The trio obliged, moving from their positions as Sienna charged up a ball of pure flame, unleashing it as it became a wave.

"BURN! AHAHAHAHA!"

Cleansing fires ran through the tunnel, roasting the Goblins alive as they attempted to flee from the river of heat. Not one survived.

"Well that's the end of that." Markus said as he lowered his shield, Victor came into view, his trench coat covered with blood as his scowl seemed everpresent. "It's good to see you two made it out." The soldier added.

Sienna nodded with a smile as the Witch Hunter shook his head.

"Ack, disgusting Greenskins..."

Kerillian crossed her arms, "I don't think these are normal Greenskins we're dealing with here, one-eye. In case you haven't noticed, their eyes aren't red with menace. Their... Yellow, like a beastmans." She then turned her head, looking at the loincloth the small dead Humanoids wore. "And they appear to have-"

"Willies! These Grobi have willies! Euck!" Bardin yelled out inappropriately as he noticed a dead naked one.

She sighed, "Yes, what the dwarf said."

Markus felt the need to speak, "Wait, are you serious? I thought Greenskins came from mushrooms or somethin' like that? Not... Y'know..."

"'Fungus' is the more accurate word, Kruber." Victor corrected. "But the she-elf is right. These definitely aren't the types that plague the Old World."

Bardin nodded in agreement, "In agreement there, Grimgi. Being this deep underground, Night Grobi usually dress nicer than... This."

They checked the rest of the cave, Sienna illuminating a pit before they all froze.

Bodies, bodies of women. Most of them young. Their desecrated and abused bodies giving no room for imagination as to what might have happened to them. Markus's eyes widened as Sienna watched with horror, Bardin's face rife with disbelief. Victor and Kerillian simply stood at the side, a grim look on the former and expressionless on the latter's mask.

"Those-... Those little shitstains!" Sienna yelled, her horror turning into anger.

Bardin blinked, "This can't be. Grobi don't do this..."

Kerillian walked forward, "Of course they don't. These aren't normal Goblins." She turned her head away. "These... Things, are something else entirely. I could sense their lust ridden and perverted nature." She then walked the other way. "None of those girls are breathing. Let's go, we're wasting time."

Markus then snarled behind his helmet. "Do the lives of young women mean so little to you elf?!"

"Kruber." Victor warned, The Witch Hunter had seen the worst of the Old World, particularly from cracking down cultists that happened to follow Slaanesh. This display had barely fazed him. "Save your fury for those that are deserving of it."

The Soldier grunted before Kerillian sighed.

"For what it's worth, Markus... I don't believe anything should ever deserve the fate that had befallen these girls. All we can do is avenge them."

Markus seemed to take in her words before slowly nodding. "Right, right. But can we at least give them a proper burial?"

Sienna walked forward, "I can give them the rite of Ashqy... Burn away their remains."

Nobody objected. Not even Victor.

The Unchained Wizard walked forward, charging her staff before releasing. A torrent of flames raining down into the dark pit as it covered the bodies with a burning flame. The group watched as it burned before turning away.

Bardin seemed angered, "Let's make a contest. Whoever kills the most of these Gorbi wins!" The dwarf said, combining Goblin and wild beast in his dwarven vocabulary.

That was something they could all agree on.

Taal's Horn Keep

Franz Lohner worked busily to organize maps and papers, checking them before looking back up. "Olesya! How's the work coming on?! You find them yet?"

"Just because you ask of me again doesn't mean it's going to magically happen!" The Grey Wizard responded with anger, her stout form sitting on a chair as her eyes were closed. "Give me time!"

He nodded, looking back down.

When he heard the echoing boom of the Skittergate come from Helmgart, he had knew the heroes of Ubersreik succeeded. With the Skittergate gone, that meant the Empire had a bit of breathing room for the time being.

But he had not expected a green wave of energy to completely envelop the land as the Keep (according to Olesya.) was sent somewhere 'else'. He had no time to question what the wise old girl meant, but what he did know was that the land around them had completely changed.

Helmgart was still there, or at least what was left of it.

"Hold on... I'm picking up something from the winds." Olesya announced. "I think I found them!"

Goblin Cave

"DIE!" Markus yelled as he stabbed a Goblin, the creature gurgling out as he kicked it off his blade with his leather boot, the purity seals on his shoulders looking particularly valiant. The heroes fought, but this time with an unexplained ferocity, making sure no Goblin escaped this time.

Sienna worked to burn the small tunnels they had hid themselves in, effectively exterminating the vile spawn like one would do with a pest.

Kerillian and Bardin fought together, the dwarf occasionally firing off his weapon as echoing bangs could be heard, the Grudge-Raker getting it's namesake. A few Goblins that had thought to overpower the elf were sorely mistaken as they found the hands that reached out to simply disappear in a gout of blood, the elf's eyes black with murder as they for once, felt terrified of a female.

Victor cut down a Goblin, turning his head before spotting something.

"This way! There is light at the end of this tunnel!"

They proceeded, becoming a well oiled machine of death. The constant fighting of Skaven and Northmen preparing them for these moments of slaughter. The team then reached the light, temporarily blinded as they appeared to be at a mountain side.

Sienna turned around, holding her metallic glove up as a skull made of fire developed, leaning close to whisper. "Spread joy my pretty..."

The Wizard then released it, the burning head seeking targets as it became as lifelike as fire. Bardin ran up next to the cave entrance, grabbing his axe and tapping the knob against a vulnerable piece. A few giant rocks then collapsed at the entrance as Goblins that attempted to follow them were crushed by stone, the rest being blocked off as they were now at the mercy of the burning head that the Wizard had left.

Bardin chuckled, "Cousin Okri taught me that trick!"

"My, that was a great stress reliever." Sienna admitted, "Nothing like the smell of burning Goblin flesh."

Markus let out a sigh of relief, "I'm just glad we-"

It appears I have found all of you.

They all flinched, hearing the voice within their minds.

"O-Oleysia!?" Markus exclaimed. "Is that you?!"

Of course.

Victor grumbled, "I would appreciate it if you would give a warning before you probe our sacred minds, Grey Witch."

Aww? Is that so? Too bad Saltzpyre. In case you haven't noticed, there are more concerning things to worry about. The voice then paused, There's no waystones anywhere near you. So I'll have to conjure one, wait next to the wall.

Bardin tilted his head, "Why don't ya do that before? Like the time with the bell?"

In case you haven't noticed dwarf, I am not a young cub anymore! Teleportation without the use of a waystone takes a toll on me.

Kerillian looked, standing to the side. "Alright. We'll follow your orders. Just get us out of here."

Finally one of you has decent sense! Go now!

The rest of the group followed through, standing at the side of the mountain as they felt a dome of blue energy cover them, distorting the outside world.

Taal's Horn Keep

And then they were home, the blue dome disappearing around them. The familiar stone of Taal's Horn keep being a godsend to the five heroes as they relaxed their poses, putting their weapons away.

Franz was waiting, his arms crossed as the inn keeper had a look of concern on his face.

"Thank Sigmar you five made it out alive..."

His look then turned serious.

"But we've got a new problem."

And that's the end of that. I have a few good ideas for the next chapter, particularly about Taal's Horn Keep setting up a presence within this new world in a multitude of ways. I can already imagine what it'll be like when the party walks into a Guild House. (Saltzpyre probably breaking a nerve cell with the amount of HERESY!)

Oh and they might meet the Goblin Slayer and his party in later chapters. A lot of interesting interactions await.