No matter how much I try, I just can't stop myself from writing new stories. Each time a new idea plops into my head, I write it down and if it's good, I even publish it.

Here is the newest result of such a happenstance.

Summary: She is not a hero. (Or: In which a young girl gets reincarnated as the twin sister of a Marauder and comes to realize what being a monster truly means.) [SI, Self-Insert/OC-Insert as the twin sister of Remus Lupin]

Have fun.

Running With The Wolves

Chapter 1

Prologue

Gemini (n.) is one of the constellations of the zodiac. Its name is Latin for "twins," and it is associated with the twins Castor and Pollux in Greek mythology.

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When Castor died, Pollux begged his father Zeus to grant his brother immortality, and he did, by uniting the twins in the heavens.

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I.

Lavinia Rhea Lupin was never quite sure how she came to be.

She knew, of course, how her body was created. Knew of the shabby love story that united her parents and ended in the conception of their two children.

What she did not understand was how a dead fifteen years old girl could stumble more than five decades into the past of a fictional world and get reborn as the twin sister of one of its less fortunate characters.

Lavinia had once been known as Lidia Grzegorczyk, a Polish teen who had lived in England for most of her life.

From what she had guessed, the cause of her death had been a fall from the stairs that led to her apartment. The girl could recall losing her hold on a bag of groceries and slipping backwards.

Her last thought had been that her newly acquired pickle jar would not survive the fall.

(...she had not even considered her own low survival rates...)

Darkness followed and the next time the girl woke up, she wasn't Lidia anymore.

On the 10th of March 1960 the Lupin twins were born. Lavinia was the first one to enter the world, quickly followed by her brother Remus.

Neither of the twins were true criers, so their birth was a rather silent affair. Their shrieks were quickly calmed down by Bellona Lupin. Both fell asleep soon afterwards, their prematurely born bodies too weak to stay awake for longer periods of time.

The girl did not manage to truly wake up for more than seven months.

By the time she did not fall asleep involuntary anymore, Lavinia had grasped the gist of her current situation.

(...Not everything, of course. That revelation would come soon when she would see her mother perform magic for the first time...)

A giant temper tantrum was her next course of action. It lasted for a few hours until she tired herself out completely and couldn't continue anymore.

Another tantrum followed the next day and it wasn't the last one.

Accepting her own untimely and rather stupid death wasn't easy. Getting over the fact that she would never see her family and friends again was outright impossible.

The stifling attention of her new parents wasn't helpful at all. A part of Lavinia felt as if she would be betraying her true parents if she accepted Bellona's and John's consolation.

(...They could never be her parents...)

At the end, she managed to calm down without their help. It was the silent support of her twin brother that gave her a new perspective and later a goal for this second life of hers.

The concept of having a sibling was a foreign one to her. As Lidia she had been an only child, so she did not quite know what she should do with him. Still, Remus ended up being enough of a distraction that she actually managed to focus on the outside world for first time since her death.

This, of course, led to a very unpleasant realization.

Out of all the places she could have been a part of, Lavinia just had to be reborn into the Harry Potter universe as the twin sister of Remus John Lupin.

Although the following panic attack was expected, it did not mean that it was easy to overcome.

(...Remus Lupin had been a scarred man whose life had been destroyed at a young age by a werewolf bite. Remus Lupin had been a father who died in a pointless war and did not even get to witness his son growing up...

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...and now Lavinia would be forced to experience all that alongside her brother...)

As the children of a pureblood witch and her muggleborn husband, despite the scorn they would experience from the highest ranked members of their society, they should have had a secure and happy future. They might not have found any acceptance in the upper layers of their world, but they would have still had the common folk to rely on.

Lavinia knew better though. From the moment she opened her eyes to this new life and finally understood where she was, the girl knew that there would be nothing happy about her future.

As the twin sister of the Remus Lupin there was only one thing she could wait for.

Tragedy.

And there was nothing she could do to protect herself from it.

II.

Magic was completely astounding.

Watching her mother perform even the smallest tasks with it always managed to capture Lavinia's complete attention. Its existence just seemed to be so incredibly impossible that even the simplest levitation charm ended up being very captivating. She had never expected to see items flying through the air as if gravity did not exist and inanimate objects like her doll suddenly coming to life.

After a while, the novelty of this new power wore off slightly, but Lavinia never got over how astonishing the whole thing was.

Though, like everything else in life, magic had both its ups and downs.

Bellona Lupin, for all that she wasn't a typical pureblood, was still a lazy person. Unlike their muggleborn father who cooked their meals by himself, their mother relied on magic almost all the time. She used it to cut the vegetables, to clean the house and to entertain her children.

Lavinia found that behavior quite comical because some of the chores could have been completed faster without the help of her wand.

''Do you want another peach, Lavinia?'' Bellona inquired, her hand stroking the back of her sleeping brother gently. The empty plate before her was rising from its place at the table and moving towards the kitchen.

Shaking her head in denial, the young looking girl smiled a small smile. ''No.'' She leaned her head against the lower part of the living room couch and sighed. ''I'm tired...mum.''

Even after more than two year had passed, addressing Bellona as her mother still made Lavinia feel very uncomfortable.

''Well, it is pretty late.'' The woman carefully put her hands underneath Remus' shoulders and knees. Then she picked his body up into her arms and gestured towards their nursery with a pointed look. ''Can you walk by yourself or do you need my help?''

Her next statement was an almost incomprehensible mumble. ''By myself.''

To prove her competence, Lavinia forced herself to stand up and start moving in the direction of her bed. Unbidden, a yawn escaped her lips and she had to rub her sleepy eyes.

If there was one thing she hated the most about her current state, then it was the weakness of her new body. It was small and easily tired. One moment she could be bursting with energy and the next she felt like keeling over. The only consolation was that Remus suffered the same way she did which meant that this was caused by their young age and not an undiscovered illness.

Wiggling her toes once she arrived in front of the closed door - The handle was too high, thus she could not even open it. - Lavinia tilted her head to look at her new mother. The pureblood had decided to pick up a fluffy blanket on her way to the nursery and had draped it over her twin's tiny shoulders.

Bellona had always been more affectionate towards Remus.

Lavinia did not fault the woman for her behavior. After all, it had been her choices that had pushed the young mother away and made it clear to her that Lavinia did not need her as much as Remus did.

Both Bellona and John knew that their daughter wasn't a normal child. They could see the intelligence in her eyes and the maturity with which she behaved. And although it saddened them to see the way she isolated herself from them, they knew better than to try forcing something unwanted.

As long as their daughter considered her brother as a trusted companion, neither Bellona nor John would push themselves onto her.

The older twin appreciated her parents' consideration.

After she pushed the door open, Bellona motioned inside with her hand. ''Let me just put Remus inside the crib, then I'll help you.''

Not for the first time she noticed the way Bellona spoke to her. It wasn't as if she was talking with a toddler, but someone who could understand everything being said. Sometimes, this made Lavinia wonder what the older Lupins' opinion of her must have been. They certainly noticed her oddities and certainly had their own suspicions about their origins.

Most likely, they blamed it on some magical 'gift'.

Perhaps it was just that; a magical mistake that made her remember a life that wasn't hers anymore.

Well manicured hands were pushed underneath her armpits and Bellona pulled the small girl against her own chest. The temperature of her body warmed Lavinia's cool cheeks and she yawned once again.

Her new mother's lips brushed her forehead and then she was lowered into the crib the twins shared.

Sleep claimed her within minutes.

III.

''You comin', Lavi?'' Asked Remus as he tugged on the hem of her dress.

He had taken to using that butchered version of her name because it was easier to pronounce. Had anyone else used it, then Lavinia might have been irritated. But when it came to Remus, she seemed to have developed an everlasting patience.

Reaching out for him, the young girl took a gentle hold of her twin's wrist and smiled softly. ''Sure.''

The door leading into their garden had been left open by their mother. Summer had arrived early that year and its sweltering heat made the atmosphere in their home unbearable. Outside, an occasional breeze ruffled her floaty dress and managed to cool her sweaty face.

Located in the middle of a forest, most of their home was bathed in shadows. Only a few patches of grass were reached by the sun, though their parents did not seem to mind the lack of light.

It was the opposite, actually. Bellona appreciated the trees and the obscurity they granted her garden because most of her herbs seemed to need the darkness. The elder witch was a potions mistress that specialized in healing. She often prepared salves and potions for the local apothecary.

Some of their mother's more exotic plants were surrounded by a low fence and a magical shield to keep both Remus and Lavinia away from them.

And as she saw the snapping teeth of a flesh eating flower, Lavinia was glad for her second mother's foresight. She would not have appreciated losing a finger.

''Have you finally decided to join me, my darlings?'' Questioned Bellona as she wiped her dirty hands against her violet apron. A small bucket stood next to her and Lavinia could see some yellow flowers moving inside of it.

Remus did not answer the question as he continued dragging his twin towards their mother. Instead he chose to try sticking his hand into the bucket once they reached the woman, only to be stopped by a large dainty hand. ''No, no. Don't touch them, Remus. They're extremely fragile.''

Patting her lap, Bellona waited until both of her children moved towards her and situated themselves on her lap. Lavinia was slightly more reluctant than her brother.

When they finally settled down, the older witch picked up the scissors she had been using earlier and took a hold of a stem with her thumb and pointer finger. ''You have to be very careful while harvesting the Dæmonia Carnation. Even the stems break very easily.''

And then she showed them the proper way to handle the flowers. ''One quick cut, that's all that's needed.''

A long and thorough lecture on the use and qualities of the Dæmonia Carnation followed. Sometimes, Lavinia wondered why her new mother had not decided to become a teacher. Bellona very clearly enjoyed talking about her passion and she wasn't too bad at explaining it either. Besides, there was a certain spark in her eyes each time she managed to successfully explain something to them.

''It's good for burns or works as an acid?'' Lavinia asked to make sure that she had understood the lecture.

Bellona tilted her head to the left and regarded her small daughter curiously. The woman probably wondered how such a young child could have understood everything she had said and then repeated words that should have been foreign to her without a mistake. ''In combination with certain ingredients, yes. It all depends on the mixture.''

''Can you tell us more?''

Blinking in surprise, the young mother smiled. ''Sure.''

IV.

Accidental magic was something very common among children in the Wizarding World.

Even Lavinia, who still sometimes doubted the existence of this new reality, wasn't exempt from it. Strong emotions triggered a reaction of this new power of hers and manipulated her surroundings. Mostly, it was just levitation. When she was scared or angry, objects tended to fly around the room and became a danger to the people inside of it.

From time to time, lighter emotions managed to change the hair color of her family or shape of some of her toys.

Lavinia would never forget the day during which she had changed John's dirty blonde tresses into a violently purple mane. The funniest thing about the whole situation was that he did not even notice it until a colleague at work pointed it out to him.

No matter how hard she tried, Lavinia just could not mask her amused snickers that day.

Bellona's reaction did not help her at gaining even a semblance of control either. The woman teased her husband for the whole evening and did not let go of the matter for the following few days.

This was not the last time the man had to suffer at the hand of his own daughter. More often than not, Lavinia managed to accidentally transfigure a part of his body. Once he even sprouted leaves on his head.

Remus' magic, unlike that of his sister, only seemed to focus on inanimate objects. It transported whatever he needed to him and moved a few of their expensive vases for the little boy's amusement.

Although their magic always worked in their favor, Lavinia quickly found out that it was practically impossible to control.

It was sad, but not unexpected.

After all, if wandless magic were so easy, no one in the Harry Potter series would have used wooden sticks to wield their powers.

Still, despite her rather disheartening discovery, Lavinia did not plan to give up any time soon.

After all, it wasn't as if she had anything better to do, so the girl might as well try practicing her wandless magic until something good came of it.