The Beast, the Woman, and Her Flowers

A/N: Updated as of 18 March 2019.

"He is no brute, he is a man."

Konoha's Green Beast has met his match in a woman with flowers in her hair.

Shikaku no Shikai has seen a lot of things.

Now, in one of Konohagakure's many drinking establishments, she is sitting across the very distraught, yet amazingly flawless-looking Koubaku Haru.

Haru, as Shikai knows her, is a beautiful, delicate-looking flower. She is a geisha by profession, well-versed in all the arts and gifted with the charms even goddesses would be envious of. Men all over have chased after her, have vowed to win battles for her, and have even waged war against countries for her.

Well, the latter is obviously an exaggeration, but Shikai wouldn't put it past them.

After all, Haru is a woman of expensive taste and a certain eye for bloodshed. As far as Shikai knows, Haru's special technique is as artistic as it is macabre, which makes it all the more unnerving that this woman had even set foot in such a cheap, homely establishment.

Even in their missions before, Haru would never even let herself be near such a place.

But they aren't on a mission today.

So why is she...

Oh.

Shikai could almost slap herself for not realizing it sooner.

She speaks to Haru in a low voice, eyes looking over everyone in the room, "Now who could have possibly caught your eye in this city?"

Haru smiled wickedly, painted lips parting to show perfect teeth.

Shikai is reminded of how single-minded Haru is when it comes to things that she wants.

"Him."

Haru's eyes move the slightest bit to the left.

"He's the one." She says, all giddy and excited.

Shikai looks behind her and sees someone completely ordinary-looking, someone who wouldn't even be worth a second glance. If he is the one Haru wants, then...

"That one?" She scoffs. "He seems ordinary."

Shikai turns back to the drink before her and starts sipping.

"Oh, but he isn't just any man!" Haru exclaims. "He's Konohagakure's Magnificent Green Beast!"

Shikai almost spits out her drink. "Is that what you call him, then?"

There is no way that plain-looking man could have that extravagant title.

She laughs. "Then he's no different from being a monster."

But Haru's vibrant green eyes are quick to turn cold.

"He is no brute." She chides as if lecturing a young child, "He is a man."

Shikai rolls her eyes. "I didn't say he was a brute."

Haru's tone is bitter and condescending. "As if you are any different."

That struck a nerve.

"Why suddenly so bitter?" Shikai sighs before she turns back to the man, sitting all casual and drinking something that looks to have no alcohol in it.

"He looks... Well, he's dressed quite nicely."

Shikai means plainly.

"He caught those thieves so easily!"

"He's a shinobi, Haru." She nods. "It's only expected of them."

The man was wearing a forehead protector.

"He showed incredible reaction time!" Haru continued.

Shikai nods again. "He must be quite an exceptional shinobi, then."

"I couldn't even see him!"

"Well, he wouldn't be an effective shinobi otherwise."

"And he's so..." Haru fawns over him, "so gallant in his words."

"Yeah." Shikai casts a sideways glance at the shinobi, "He looks like the type."

"Oh, but he didn't even look at me!" Haru frowns. "Not even a glance!"

Shikai thinks she's being too dramatic. Of course, shinobi wouldn't ogle women when they're chasing after criminals.

"I was standing a mere few feet from him!"

"Yeah." She manages to drawl out. "He doesn't look like the type to appreciate a woman's charm."

"Maybe he's already committed!" Haru begins panicking. "He must be married! A man like him! Of course he would already–"

"It doesn't look like he is." Shikai deadpanned.

And Haru stops.

"And am I to trust your discerning eye?" She looked at Shikai critically.

"Yes." Shikai finishes the contents of her glass. "But I really can't believe that we aren't even one week into our stay in Konohagakure and you're already looking for men."

She really can't.

"Well, aren't you?"

Haru really isn't one to hold back.

Shikai grimaces. "Does it look like I have the time?"

"Well, you certainly have the time now, eating and drinking with me in the middle of the afternoon." Haru gestured to the two pitches of cocktails and the platter of seafood and barbecue between them.

Shikai shrugs. "I didn't have a choice."

Haru pours another glass for Shikai, another for herself.

"Why have we been stationed here, anyway?" Shikai whined.

"There's an exam coming up and we're to observe certain buds."

Haru often speaks in such flowery language that Shikai could only attempt to decipher its meaning. Ever since rumors of a certain group out to capture the bijuu have surfaced, the entire world had been thrown into a mess of politics and whispers of potential wars.

But they aren't here to determine whether such rumors were true. No, they're just here for the sights.

If there was any.

"I'd rather be stationed somewhere else."

"You just haven't had enough romance in your life!" Haru jokes.

"No." Shikai is quick to sound sullen. "I think I've had enough."

"Actually, you and him are perhaps the same in lacking a romantic life." Haru noted.

She glares at the smiling woman. "Don't lump me in with the shinobi, Haru."

"Romance is an essential part of life, don't you think?"

Haru offers her glass up in a toast.

Shikai doesn't answer nor does she raise her glass.

What could have ever happened to you?

Haru often wonders what made the woman before her to sullen and melancholic. Perhaps she had a lover who died? A lover who left her? Or perhaps was she the one who left him?

"I think..." Haru suggests, "I think I'll go to him."

Shikai blinks, but doesn't say anything. She knows Haru has always been forward, and just lets her stand up and walk towards the man.

But what surprises Shikai is that Haru walks past that ordinary-looking shinobi and heads further back.

Even further that Shikai had to crane her neck a little just to see who Haru is...

She could not believe her eyes.

Haru had always been the woman that never goes unnoticed. She had never been a wallflower or a mere bystander. She had always been the bouquet of flowers noticed by all and everyone. She had always been cast a second glance, but now...

Now she knew what it felt like to be invisible.

As she approaches this man of undeniable robustness, this man of pure and unadulterated masculinity, this man that might very well be the man of her dreams...

Why hasn't he noticed me yet!?

Haru feels so impatient and giddy, feels her knees growing weaker as she approaches him ever so slowly, feels her heart race in her chest and her cheeks heat up.

She hasn't felt this way in a long time. She probably hasn't felt this way in the twenty-six years she had been alive.

Look at me! Look at me!

Her mouth trembles at the sight of him. She feels her body shake and she fears that her long, dark hair would suddenly come out of its elegant updo.

But it doesn't. Thankfully, it doesn't.

Haru produces a single blossom from her kimono sleeve. It is a peony, the gentle-looking blossom with such an honest message to convey. She is merely a few feet from him now, and she's inching closer and closer.

He's laughing and drinking and still not noticing her.

Oh, she could just summon vines and root to force him to look at her, but that would be unbecoming of such a lady like her, wouldn't it?

She offers the flower to him before she says anything else.

He stops laughing.

His friends stop laughing.

This is the scene she had been waiting for. He's looking up at her, wide-eyed and surprised.

This is the silence she had been hoping for.

"You were very brave today, sir." She says, blushing deeply.

He reaches for her hand.

And quickly plucks the peony from her trembling fingers without so much as touching them.

"Yes! This! The flower of youth would look like this!"

He's looking at the pink peony the same way Haru is looking at him.

He is Maito Gai, Konohagakure's overly-energetic, youth-loving, Magnificent Green Beast.

"I thank you, kind woman!" He gives Haru his signature smile.

And at that moment, Haru faints.

A/N: I'm in love with writing these women. Consider this as the light-hearted companion to the angsty parody that is Love-in-idleness. And just like that story, updates will be sporadic. I'm just making things up as I go along, sorry.

Feedback is always appreciated. Thanks!